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Kris's Guide to Third Wheeling by NoelleHolidayStanAccount (TerminalMiraculosis)
Fandoms: Deltarune (Video Game)
15 Aug 2026
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Summary
One week ago, Kris nearly destroyed the world. Seven days ago, they took a stupid, selfish shot in the dark, throwing away all the plans they had so meticulously prepared in favor of one last, desperate gamble. One hundred and sixty-eight hours ago, they finally sealed the shelter’s Dark Fountain for good—and miraculously, thanks only to their friends, nobody had to die.
But more importantly: sixteen hours ago, Susie, apparently, went out with Noelle for an ice cream date and neither of them told Kris about it beforehand.
By all accounts, that should be fine. That should be not a big deal, because Susie and Noelle are girlfriends, and girlfriends go on dates with each other. And, typically, girlfriends aren’t expected to invite regular friends to join in on those dates. Especially not friends who lied to both of them repeatedly and nearly ruined everything, everywhere, forever.
The cruel truth of the matter, though, is that Kris is extremely not fine.
Bookmarked by jastard
11 Jul 2026
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Danny just appeared, 7 inches of gnarled clumsy stitching carving a flight path from jaw to temple, redder and more inflamed after his face spent the night bartering with the first ugly steps of healing. And he expected… something.
An accusation, really. A leading interrogation. Because Phantom’s face-gouge had been plastered in HD across the town’s televisions, a turkey slice to match his own ghastly face wound. And his absences and his oddities and his ghost-hunting parents and name and appearance all all all had to finally add up to someone. Everyone.
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Danny is tired of fighting the inevitable. His secret won't last forever. His lies only build a fiction more gnarled and more mangled the longer he keeps it up. He's had enough. He's ready to get this over with.
After a very public fight against Skulker, Danny shows up to school with the exact injury that has been broadcast to every television in Amity Park. If he makes no effort to hide anymore, someone will figure it out. Surely, someone will finally break open the secret that's been dominating Danny's life.
Nothing goes the way Danny expects.
Bookmarked by jastard
10 Feb 2026
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There was a new kid in Middleground Youth Residential Treatment.
Or, Susie is angry and Kris is numb and despite all odds, they find each other before they were ever meant to.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 65,712
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Comments:
- 355
- Kudos:
- 564
- Bookmarks:
- 125
- Hits:
- 10,523
Bookmarked by jastard
17 Jan 2026
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This is a world in which Mob and Reigen’s paths have never crossed, in which 10-year-old Mob found psychic guidance in the form of the aging, retired tv personality Keiji Mogami, in which Reigen followed through on his plans to close the Spirits and Such Agency, in which a cruel twist of Mob’s powers forces him to confront how dangerous he really is.
10 year old Shigeo Kageyama has vanished, his trail instantly cold, and his case gathers dust in police archives as a kidnapping never solved. Four years pass before a chain of events causes his path to cross with that of the despondent, unfulfilled fake-psychic-turned-fake-investigator, Arataka Reigen. Reigen finds himself in over his head caring for an escaped victim of abuse who, for reasons unfathomable, has been taught to believe his very existence is a horrifically dangerous thing…
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 407,251
- Chapters:
- 49/?
- Comments:
- 4,259
- Kudos:
- 15,600
- Bookmarks:
- 3,361
- Hits:
- 532,277
Bookmarked by jastard
07 Jan 2026
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Not for the first time, Noelle sneaks out.
Bookmarked by jastard
04 Nov 2025
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The puzzle pieces judder together with horrifying clarity. Standing in the center of the room, she can see the full picture. Everything missing from the phone, the fragments of herself in the dorm, the odd inflection in Kris’ voice.
This isn’t a dream. It isn’t the Dark World. But it is, impossibly, an alternate world entirely.
Kris sighs again, muttering something to themself. “Do you need me to come over? Are you alone?”
“Kris, I think I’m in the wrong world,” she manages.
(or: two noelles trade places.)
Series
- Part 6 of heart/mind/soul
Bookmarked by jastard
02 Nov 2025
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The week after Asriel leaves, Kris and Carol catch up.
Bookmarked by jastard
28 Oct 2025
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“Kris?” She can hear her own voice echo on the other end of the receiver.
“I fucked up,” Kris whispers hoarsely. “Noelle, I’m sorry, I-” A choking sob wracks their vocal cords, and she's standing up before she can even remotely consider a plan.
“Kris, where are you?”
“Home,” they mumble through labored breaths. “Please hurry. I’m sorry- I didn’t know who else to-”
“I’m on my way.”
or,
Kris relapses. The consequences are dire.
Bookmarked by jastard
18 Oct 2025
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Something in this space between her and Kris has shifted— an old fracture testing the tension of new bone tissue. It's just seven days. One hundred and sixty-eight hours. Really, that's no time at all, but it hasn’t been just her and Kris since they were children, back before everything went wrong. Since then, there has always been some outlying third factor: Susie, or Dess, or the SOUL, or the distance between them.
They're inches away, hands close enough that she can feel the heat radiating off their skin, and she doesn't know how to close the space.
(or: one week and five dates where noelle tries to define what she and kris are.)
Series
- Part 5 of heart/mind/soul
Bookmarked by jastard
07 Oct 2025
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Summary
* It’s your drawing up on the fridge.
* It’s of your family: Mom, Dad, Asriel, and you.
* A family of four smiling goat-monsters.(or: Kris grows up, a human raised by monsters, and it turns out that does a lot to a kid's sense of self.)
Bookmarked by jastard
24 Sep 2025
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As Kris awoke one morning from uneasy dreams they found themself transformed in their bed into a giant insect.
After so many adventures in so many places, Kris struggles to discern the Light World from the Dark World. Susie and Noelle do their best to help them get better, even if they fight the two of them every step of the way.
Bookmarked by jastard
10 Sep 2025
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Susie is starved. She’s been starved of everything, her whole life, as long as she can remember. She isn’t sure what to do with herself when faced with more than just starving. The weight of their kindness is enough to make her sick.
Ralsei has some things to say about it.
Bookmarked by jastard
19 Aug 2025
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Kris and Catti place a call.
Bookmarked by jastard
18 Aug 2025
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“So, about your, uh… girlfriend,” Monster Kid stammers. “Are you guys, like… fighting? She’s way scarier than usual…”
From across the schoolyard Susie shoves Snowy out of her way remorselessly, almost crushing the apple juice in her hand from the might of her grip. Everyone stares fearfully as she passes.
“I’m working on it,” Kris says.
Kris has never been witness to a functional relationship, but they'll fight tooth and nail to set their own example.
Series
- Part 2 of bloom to bare
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 32,637
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Comments:
- 198
- Kudos:
- 1,771
- Bookmarks:
- 312
- Hits:
- 25,801
Bookmarked by jastard
18 Aug 2025
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“Susie,” Kris’s voice deadpans from the other end of the line, “if you don’t call me back in five minutes, I’m killing myself.”
Noelle stares.
Susie coughs. “They, uh. They don’t mean that.”
Susie makes her first friend. Somehow, they're even more insane than she is.
Series
- Part 1 of bloom to bare
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 23,963
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 257
- Kudos:
- 3,113
- Bookmarks:
- 680
- Hits:
- 33,090
Bookmarked by jastard
29 Jul 2025
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Summary
Dess signs, after a few faltering starts, “Asriel called me.”
“Huh?” Kris blinks, watching as Dess repeats the signs. “Oh. Uh. That’s cool.”
Dess shrugs. It has started to pace in the center of their room, to their window, their door, a straight-line loop. They catch her signs as she passes them, a start-and-stop. “His roommate. Went on a vacation for a few weeks. And Asriel—offered. For me to stay with him. Until the roommate is back.”
Kris—
Freezes. Like, full-body, the chill races up their spine and every bit of them goes rigid. Asriel is far, far, everyone is far, too-far, but Dess—Dess has stayed right in Hometown with them from the start, the only one of them who didn’t belong anywhere, even with the end of the world, even with Light and Dark cracked open, no boundaries between the two anymore. She was supposed to turn back into the girl she was before she left, but it never, ever did.
Kris was supposed to be a human.
(Or: Everyone else is moving on. Why can't Kris?)
Bookmarked by jastard
26 Jul 2025
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Summary
That was their train of thought until, after incessant begging, the younger kids finally dragged a particular deer outside of her home, pulling her by the hand and insisting she be on their team. She was giggling as they did so, somewhat nervously assuring them that she’ll help in any way she can.
It was only when she passed her gate, and locked eyes with Kris down the street – eyes that, unlike recently, were suddenly full of purpose, like a vulture selecting a singular rabbit to prey upon – that Noelle regretted going outside.--
Noelle and Kris struggle to eat, and also have a water balloon fight.
Bookmarked by jastard
24 Jul 2025
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Summary
There’s a part of Noelle that idly wonders when her relationship with Kris took a turn into what it is today. But the thought makes her smile somewhat bitterly, because she knows she’s fooling herself. She knows the answer.
Because here’s the thing: Noelle remembers vividly the last day she ever spent hanging out with Kris.
Or, a more specific catalyst for Noelle and Kris' falling out after Dess' disappearance.
Bookmarked by jastard
08 Jul 2025
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Summary
Kris’ will is not always their own. Their hands have moved without guidance before. Their heart has stopped beating before. Their body has moved and talked and acted, with Kris an unwilling passenger inside, unable to change a thing.
It happened three times.
Series
- Part 1 of Disintegration
Bookmarked by jastard
26 Mar 2025
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Summary
“Mom?” Kris asked. “When are my horns going to grow in?”
It took a moment for the question to register with Toriel. It was an innocently asked question, with no sort of consternation behind it, which was good, but even so, it gave her pause.
Bookmarked by jastard
26 Mar 2025