lepain
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Summary
Kaveh hates Alhaitham.
Who is Alhaitham, you ask? Only the most insufferable regular that the Alcarzarzaray coffee shop had ever seen.
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“Shit,” Xingqiu mutters under his breath, standing up so fast his rickety chair falls over. “Abort mission, abort mission!”
Chongyun watches him struggle to cram a tall stack of fifteen books into a small box meant for five.
“Really, Xingqiu, I told you this wouldn’t be a good idea.” Chongyun says, even as he moves to help.
“My dear Chongyun, please. Just help me hide these before Childe gets over here and sees all the fanfiction I wrote about him and Zhongli-xiansheng—”
Or, Xingqiu writes poorly disguised fanfiction about Childe and Zhongli.
He gets caught, plays wingman, and discovers his own feelings for Chongyun along the way.
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It was easy to fall in love with Zhongli.
It was almost laughably easy to clear things up together after the Osial incident.
It was even more ridiculously easy to make the move in with Zhongli and become accustomed to a domestic life.Yet of all absurdities, the one that confused Childe the most was the adepti showing up one by one insisting he had to go through trials to ‘prove his worthiness’ before marriage. Hold up. Marriage?
Or, everyone knows that Childe and Zhongli are basically already a married couple except for Childe and Zhongli — but mostly Childe.
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two trash cans kissing in a tree by nouilles (lepain)
Fandoms: 崩坏：星穹铁道 | Honkai: Star Rail (Video Game)
07 May 2023
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The two trash cans stood tightly side by side as if no force in the world could separate them. Their shadows meld together, as if they were in an inseparable embrace.
It was probably stupid for Caelus to feel jealous of a couple of trash cans.
Or, how Caelus' trash diving tendencies help him score a boyfriend.
Now translated to Russian!
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“Hu Tao, my laptop is broken,” Xingqiu says.
Hu Tao looks up in disinterest. “Why?”
Xingqiu turns his laptop to face her. The screen illuminates her face in the dim room as she looks at the bold words on the screen.
You are 60% gay! the website announces.
“Where’s the other 40%?!” Xingqiu wails. Was this why Chongyun hadn’t noticed all of his obvious hints? Was he simply not gay enough? Did he no longer live fruity, breathe fruity? Xingqiu had to recover the 40%, he had to find where it had gone! He—
Was promptly kicked out by Hu Tao.
Recent bookmarks
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Summary
At age 22, Diluc Ragnvindr is murdered, with only his estranged brother as a witness.
At age 17, Diluc Ragnvindr woke up.
With memories that weren't his own, a strange connection to his Delusion, and lingering dreams of a world without him in it, Diluc was determined to relive the worst night of his life and get it right this time—no matter the cost.
Unfortunately, his plan did not account for Kaeya.
(Bonus chapter now posted!)
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Summary
Kaveh angrily shoves the last of his bagel down his throat, then cracks his knuckles and positions his keyboard out in front of him.
you, he types furiously into the small comment box, are exactly the reason why so many fanfic authors quit writing. lucky for you i don’t give a SHIT about your blockheaded, extremely unqualified opinion. thanks for adding to my already massive view count!!! be sure to subscribe to get notified when i post another work!
Then he presses post and slams his laptop closed.
Kaveh deals with his #1 internet hater, FlyingVulture: some rando who reads his Deshret x Nabu fanfiction and leaves comments about how bad his characterization is.
Meanwhile, he also deals with his #1 real life hater, Al-Haitham: his roommate.
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if you give a scribe a cookie by luminvies for lilahjs028
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
21 Feb 2024
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As Kaveh inspects the space that is about to become his new home, he thinks to himself that the room with those marbled counters and a familiar set of wood utensils hanging on the wall. In fact, when he squints closer, he recognizes the model of the stand mixer that’s sitting in the corner. It almost looks like—
“My name is Al-Haitham,” the man—Al-Haitham, apparently—says, and Kaveh looks at him, looks at the chest that he vaguely recognized, turns to look at the counters that he now pinpoints from motherfucking YouTube, and fully lets his jaw drop again with no regard for propriety.
Fuck first impressions. It seems that they’ve already had theirs.
“No the fuck you aren’t,” Kaveh says.
Kaveh moves into the house of his archnemesis. And then he bakes for him, as one does for their mortal enemy that they definitely don't have a crush on.
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and i know where you belong by I_chew_icecreams
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
28 Oct 2023
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“Say, then,” Kaveh begins, the proximity between them wavers again, and Alhaitham doesn’t go looking for these things. “What are your thoughts on time travelling?”
“I think,” Alhaitham inhales very, very slowly, “besides wanting to lock you out and call every emergency number I can think of, I desperately want to travel back in time when the universe didn’t hate me and you didn’t break into my house with your dirty shoes looking like a psych-ward escapee,"
“...Okay,” Kaveh sucks in a breath, stretches out a smile, “I’ll rephrase,” And then — “What are your thoughts on time travellers?”
Alhaitham squints at him.
Or: Time traveller Kaveh, his broken time machine and Alhaitham take on Wanting. (It somehow takes more than that to talk—but nothing is going anywhere.)
Bookmarked by lepain
10 Apr 2024
Bookmarker's Notes
i am never going to shut up about this one i love it so much
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Summary
His throat goes dry. “You would have done that.” He inhales sharply. “You would have done what happened on stage. Do you—do you realise how fucking frustrating that makes everything? That in some ridiculous, parallel reality all this love you have for me would have killed you?”
Ivan, Till, and love.
Bookmarked by lepain
10 Apr 2024
Bookmarker's Notes
are you trying to cope with round 6? READ THIS. READ IT. TRUST ME. it will ruin your life in the best way. actually life changing.