11 Works by lepain
Listing Works
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Kaveh hates Alhaitham.
Who is Alhaitham, you ask? Only the most insufferable regular that the Alcarzarzaray coffee shop had ever seen.
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“Shit,” Xingqiu mutters under his breath, standing up so fast his rickety chair falls over. “Abort mission, abort mission!”
Chongyun watches him struggle to cram a tall stack of fifteen books into a small box meant for five.
“Really, Xingqiu, I told you this wouldn’t be a good idea.” Chongyun says, even as he moves to help.
“My dear Chongyun, please. Just help me hide these before Childe gets over here and sees all the fanfiction I wrote about him and Zhongli-xiansheng—”
Or, Xingqiu writes poorly disguised fanfiction about Childe and Zhongli.
He gets caught, plays wingman, and discovers his own feelings for Chongyun along the way.
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It was easy to fall in love with Zhongli.
It was almost laughably easy to clear things up together after the Osial incident.
It was even more ridiculously easy to make the move in with Zhongli and become accustomed to a domestic life.Yet of all absurdities, the one that confused Childe the most was the adepti showing up one by one insisting he had to go through trials to ‘prove his worthiness’ before marriage. Hold up. Marriage?
Or, everyone knows that Childe and Zhongli are basically already a married couple except for Childe and Zhongli — but mostly Childe.
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two trash cans kissing in a tree by nouilles (lepain)
Fandoms: 崩坏：星穹铁道 | Honkai: Star Rail (Video Game)
07 May 2023
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The two trash cans stood tightly side by side as if no force in the world could separate them. Their shadows meld together, as if they were in an inseparable embrace.
It was probably stupid for Caelus to feel jealous of a couple of trash cans.
Or, how Caelus' trash diving tendencies help him score a boyfriend.
Now translated to Russian!
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“Hu Tao, my laptop is broken,” Xingqiu says.
Hu Tao looks up in disinterest. “Why?”
Xingqiu turns his laptop to face her. The screen illuminates her face in the dim room as she looks at the bold words on the screen.
You are 60% gay! the website announces.
“Where’s the other 40%?!” Xingqiu wails. Was this why Chongyun hadn’t noticed all of his obvious hints? Was he simply not gay enough? Did he no longer live fruity, breathe fruity? Xingqiu had to recover the 40%, he had to find where it had gone! He—
Was promptly kicked out by Hu Tao.
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Merlin had imagined seeing Arthur again countless times over the past centuries. It usually contained a fair amount of tearful greetings and a hug, because the jerk had gotten himself killed and taken this long to return.
Whatever he imagined, it certainly didn’t involve Arthur with donkey ears, drunk out of his mind at a Halloween party.
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A god cannot love a mortal.
Bullshit, the Tsaritsa thinks.
The gnosis defines their godhood, and the solution seems quite simple to the Tsaritsa. So when a certain Eleventh Harbinger joins her ranks, she dispatches him to Liyue in an instant. After all, she is a goddess of love, and the red strings of fate speak louder than anything.
Or, why the Tsaritsa is collecting the gnoses, explained by an idiot.
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“Who’s out there?”
Zhongli vaguely recognized this question. It was part of a scenario written in the guide book.
“I have lost my way, could you tell me which path to take?” Zhongli recited.
“Where do you need directions to?” Tartaglia asked.
Perfect response. Zhongli dutifully recited his line.
“The path to your heart.”
The number one martial artist, Zhongli, is the last hope of protecting peace in Teyvat. The plan calls for him to seduce the Demon Sect Leader, Tartaglia.
Somehow it works.
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Step 1. Hint that you want a date by asking them to do a fun activity.
A simple and easy instruction to follow. Ajax could do this. He snuck a glance across the library to where Zhongli sat. Zhongli seemed to sense his gaze and looked up from his book, sending Ajax a smile.
Ajax promptly fell off his chair.
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After a battle with La Signora over the gnosis, Childe awakes in a strange room surrounded by the people he knows but really doesn’t.
“What’s that glowing chess piece anyway?” snaps Xiao.
“...Fuck.” says Childe eloquently.Or, the gnosis transports Childe into a modern version of their world where gods, adepti and monsters certainly do NOT exist.
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“He’s hot.” Tartaglia whispers. Scaramouche whips around to face him in disgust.
“There’ll be consequences if you meddle.” Scaramouche warns.
“But I’m the god of war and he’s a very impressive warrior!”
Scaramouche sends him a suspicious glare.
“Don’t do something stupid.” He says, before leaving. Tartaglia grins.
“When do I ever?” Tartaglia asks, mentally correcting it into ‘when do I ever not do anything stupid.’As soon as they turn the corner, Tartaglia descends to the mortal realm.