lilsquishy03



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya Rozanov, celebrated hockey star, gets perilously lost in the wilderness.

    Shane Hollander, wilderness expert and #1 Rozanov hater, finds him.

    They're stuck in the woods. Completely alone. Together.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    28,874
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    2,150
    Kudos:
    2,171
    Bookmarks:
    780
    Hits:
    39,208

    23 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane: Hello?
    Unknown Caller: Is this bird professor?
    Shane: …uh yes?
    Unknown Caller: Cool. Do humming birds have legs?
    Shane: What?
    Unknown Caller: Do humming birds—
    Shane: No, I heard you. Yes they have legs.
    Unknown Caller: [loud cheering in the background] I win! Thank you bird professor.
    Shane: …uh you're welcome?
    Unknown Caller: Goodbye.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,418
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    258
    Kudos:
    3,472
    Bookmarks:
    432
    Hits:
    12,822

    22 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark 62

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    According to Hayden, it was not common for first-time cat owners to time precisely each one of their cat’s thrice-a-day playtimes to ensure they hit the recommended fifteen minutes, or max out their loan limit at the university library with the likes of Total Cat Mojo: The Ultimate Guide to Life with Your Cat.

    The single-mindedness with which Shane was approaching this endeavour was apparently unusual, but it was how he did most things in life—the important ones, anyway, like playing hockey, or doing his lecture readings, or calling his parents every week—so it stood to reason that he would spend forty-five minutes in an aisle of Mondou comparing the nutritional value of the wet food with the Persian on the label versus the one with the Siamese.

    -

    Or, Shane Hollander on cats, Russian vet assistants, and coming to terms with yourself.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,856
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    38
    Kudos:
    391
    Bookmarks:
    62
    Hits:
    2,595

    21 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    What if instead of walking in on Shane and Ilya making out, what if David came across Ilya alone at the Cottage?

    ***

    “I’m David. Hollander. Shane’s dad.” 

    Ilya genuinely couldn’t figure out what the fuck to do. He needed to send out an SOS, but he had set his phone down somewhere and had no idea if it was in the sunroom, bedroom, or bathroom, and wasn’t about to go dash around to hunt it down. And as hard as he wracked his brain, he couldn’t come up with a single plausible explanation for his presence in Shane’s summer home other than, “I’m in love with your son. We have been fucking since we were teenagers. We have a ten year plan.” 

    Instead, what he choked out was, “Sorry. No English.” 

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,141
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    251
    Kudos:
    4,661
    Bookmarks:
    800
    Hits:
    25,405

    18 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane leaves that Vegas penthouse suite feeling wretched, and like an idiot, and like he never wants to see Ilya Rozanov again.

    Except, well. Then there are zombies.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    95,670
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    2,469
    Kudos:
    7,692
    Bookmarks:
    3,547
    Hits:
    114,209

    14 Jun 2026