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In which Louis gives his Ex a Job as is Sane and Reasonable by mayoho for robokittens
Fandoms: Interview with the Vampire (TV 2022)
26 Sep 2026
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"Why does someone who can afford a private car service and that many pairs of designer boots manage a coffee shop?" one of the two women, the one with her hair dyed an unnatural red, asked her coworkers. Armand had learned none of their names. Louis liked to hire them young—Armand had never asked but he suspected some sort of public spiritedness—and they never lasted. It didn't take long for most vampires to realize they could use their gifts to effectively opt out of above board participation in the economy. Louis was a notable exception: real estate mogul, art dealer, and dabbler in a diversified set of ventures catering to the non-humans who made up the fringe, complete with a meticulous and entirely legal tax avoidance scheme.
"Eccentric rich-person hobby?" the other woman suggested.
Armand opened the door. None of the fledglings turned to look at him. Pathetic. He had done it quietly and dampened the chime of the little bell, but still. A vampire with any grasp of their gifts should have noticed.
"But Armand hates managing the coffee shop," the redhead said.
"It’s a BDSM thing," the male barista stated with unearned confidence.
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a room with no floor no ceiling no walls by mayoho
Fandoms: Interview with the Vampire (TV 2022)
22 Jul 2026
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"You cut my head off and threatened to kill me."
Louis has Armand on his knees, forehead resting on Louis's thigh, and Louis thinks there's got to be something seriously fucking wrong with him. But he moved past Lestat dropping him out of the stratosphere, and that had hurt a lot more, had given him more nightmares. He wasn't a stranger to the feeling of "this maniac is going to actually kill me" either. Lestat had done that first too. It wasn't a competition, but Louis had to keep score.
"I did," Armand says neutrally into Louis' knee.
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when there’s nothing to lose, and there’s nothing to prove by mayoho
Fandoms: Interview with the Vampire (TV 2022)
17 Jun 2026
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Armand has a new hole in is face; Louis must explore it sexually. This is both cute and silly and (by my standards at least) incredibly graphic.
“Go on then,” Louis says, petting Armand’s hair as he makes quick work of Louis’ belt and trousers. Louis relishes in Armand serving him, would like Armand to continue, undress Louis all the way and neatly fold his clothes, but with his trousers around his knees it is suddenly imperative that he gets his cock in Armand immediately.
“Lube.”
Armand makes a face of naked disgust.
“That’s where your line is? Fantasizing about me shoving my fingers through a thin point of your skull but lube in your eye socket is too much?”
Armand takes it in the spirit it was meant—huffs in mild irritation and noses at Louis’ now fully hard cock.
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Benji and Armand talk after this moment in Prince Lestat and the Realms of Atlantis
Armand and Marius had a dreadful quarrel in which Armand demanded that the Replimoids be hunted down and annihilated, and Marius accused Armand of having the savage and ignorant soul of a child.
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Armand always ducks.
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Louis grins broadly and Armand’s eyes go wide with sadness.
“I’ve gotta stop teasing you when you’re all worked up.”
This coaxes the slightest hint of a smile out of Armand. “You will not, Louis. You are far too much of a sadist.”
Louis chuckles. The corners of Armand’s mouth twitch up a hair further before compressing back into an irritated pout.
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Louis and Armand search for equilibrium after the events of the first interview and Louis' suicide attempt.
Armand makes a noise—a violently choked back sob.
Louis ignores him. It's too much. He is too much. Frightened child. Ancient vampire. Needy fucking mess.
A sharp, shuddering inhale.
And Louis has never wanted anything as much as he wants to be needed. He reaches out to cup Armand's jaw in his mangled, scabby hand, just like he had in the bedroom of the Divisadero apartment. A thousand years of suicide watch. Armand would do that.
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not a connoisseur, just a blood drinker by mayoho
Fandoms: Vampire Chronicles Series - Anne Rice
31 Jan 2026
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Armand wants to be punished.
The desk, the bed, and—dare I even consider it—my lap were Armand’s only choices for seating in the sparse but comfortable room I inhabited. The last time he had been here, he had paced restlessly the entire time he spoke, so I had no insight into which option he would prefer. He chose the desk, settling easily on top of the diary I had been updating even though there was plenty of clear space. His oxford-clad feet dangled freely, knocking against my shins. The careless action was at odds with his watchful expression.
“You’ve smudged the ink.”
“You should have used a modern pen.”
“You're deliberately provoking me,” I said, finding myself wanting to be provoked.
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Santino and Armand get to have a cute bonding moment because there's lots of evidence in the books that Armand doesn't think of Santino as irredeemably evil, and, outside of the wild torture at the beginning, they had a complicated maybe even positive relationship while Armand was still in Rome.
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Abandoned WIP
AU-ish where Radovid rescues Jaskier from Anna Henrietta. There was plot and stuff I had been batting around ideas with kuwdora about, but that has been lost to the recesses of my memory and tumblr chat history in the year this has been mostly sitting untouched in my drafts.
Jaskier quietly leaves the room—he’s fairly certain that Radovid is busy with official business and will not notice that Jaskier has taken a break from melding with Radovid’s mattress—and finds a large stick to wave around in the courtyard. Sword forms are something people who are sad and bored do to make themselves feel better. Doing things to make oneself feel better is the behavior of someone who is fundamentally fine. The irony that this is a habit he picked up from Geralt, who has probably been fine on a countable number of days in his exceptionally long life, is not lost on Jaskier. Jaskier smiles and frowns and then does his very best to stop thinking.
Jaskier is fine, because the alternative is… well, he genuinely doesn’t know. And he very much does not want to find out.
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Armand brings Rashid a cup of tea when he returns to active butler duty.
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Armand asks Louis to come live with him.
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i want to take you far from the cynics in this town by mayoho
Fandoms: Interview with the Vampire (TV 2022)
10 Sep 2025
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Claudia turns away from Madeleine, surveying the rest of the room. It’s too hard to look at her.
"I've wanted to do that since… not since we met—you were so rude and dismissive, and I like that about you now, but I felt… not romantic, like I wanted to see you again to spite you or something. Since you came to my performance, maybe, I wanted you then, but I didn’t let myself think about it, really. I didn’t think you could want me, like that, when I’m like this."
"Claudia," Madeleine says reverently. "When we met, I did not want a child. But you are not a child. You are a monster and this is your body. Why should I not want it?"
Claudia and Madeleine talk about their relationship status post the "Is it romantic?" "No" "Not yet" scene. This is mostly relationship negotiation and discussion of vampirism, but they do take a break to have sex.
They could have been so happy together.
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Armand tries to do a nice, normal thing for his lover with a surprising level of success.
“Why are you smiling?” Armand asks.
“You’re cute.”
“You think it’s cute when I behave badly?”
Daniel’s not awake enough to unpick that sentence, and he honestly probably wouldn’t bother even if he was. “I don’t miss feeling more like your science experiment than your boyfriend—“
He pauses to watch Armand mouth the word ‘boyfriend’, the crease of a thoughtful frown between his brows. Daniel had surprised himself saying that but Armand doesn’t object so Daniel continues, “but, uh, in case you hadn’t noticed, I’m kinda into it when you’re creepy.”
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My primary reaction to Armand, Daniel, and the infamous Cuck Chair was: aww poor Daniel is subdropping, too bad neither of these characters have any idea what good BDSM etiquette is. And then I made it my mission to try to fix that while keeping it as in character as possible.
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Louis reflects on his and Armand's problem solving techniques when they are in bed together after their fight about the Steins at the end of I Want You More Than Anything in the World.
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Set between episode 2x3 and 2x4; Daniel explores Al Seef Tower and is confronted with his poorly repressed homosexuality and a snarky butler/zoologist.
The pool is olympic sized, as advertised, but Daniel’s gaze is immediately drawn to Armand slicing through the water and showing a lot of skin.
A lot of skin. The tight, blue swim briefs leave his long, muscular legs entirely exposed.
You creepy old man, stop staring at him. But Daniel cuts his internal scolding short. Armand is a five hundred and fourteen year old apex predator, not Louis’ twenty-something fuck toy with an alluring attitude problem. There’s no power imbalance here. Or, there is, and it tips pretty fucking firmly in the other direction.
It’s a compelling line of logic, but Daniel startles so badly he nearly topples into the pool when Rashid appears in his peripheral vision.
“Fuck man, you’re not even a vampire. You have no reason to be that quiet. Do the two of them give classes or something?”
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for the wonderfulxstrange prompt: laughingpineapple - Reddit informs me that the name "Diane" actually means the same as "Dale" in old English. Metaphysical hall of mirrors GO
Series
- Part 9 of Twin Peaks Drabbles
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for the wonderfulxstrange exchange: Dick Tremayne does some impromptu baby sitting
Series
- Part 8 of Twin Peaks Drabbles
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for the wonderfulxstrange event:
sheryllee - Bobby and Laura at Jack Rabbit's palace
(Also loosely inspired by ValentinSylve's fill from last year)
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- Part 7 of Twin Peaks Drabbles