mortifyingideal
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Recent works
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it's like you're always stuck in second gear by mortifyingideal
Fandoms: Good Omens (TV)
01 Feb 2024
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Newt had been sat in his flat, nursing a shit cup of coffee and thinking about the end of the world as much as he usually did. That is to say, quite a lot. Not so much that he couldn’t function on a day-to-day basis, of course, but enough that if he didn’t have a podcast on while he was brushing his teeth he had the unfortunate tendency to start screaming.
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Four years after the world didn't end, Newton Pulsifer is jobless, single, and doesn't really have a clue what he's doing with his life.
His new demonic tenant can, mortifyingly, relate.
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time for you and joy to get acquainted by mortifyingideal
Fandoms: Good Omens (TV), DuckTales (Cartoon 2017), Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988)
08 Aug 2021
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an angel and a duck walk into a bar, and the whole situation unfolds with a sexually-charged inevitability.
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When a woman like Cruella de Vil walks into your boutique looking like she’s ready to set the world on fire, you simply don’t refuse her invitation to hold the box of matches.
You couldn’t, even if you wanted to.
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Look Not Too Deep by mortifyingideal
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
15 May 2021
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After wrestling with a string of failed dates, a substandard algorithm and a stubborn refusal to accept his fate, Anthony J. Crowley thinks he may have finally found the perfect husband.
Yeah, alright, Aziraphale Fell—purveyor of rare and antiquated books—isn't exactly what he imagined when Crowley pictured himself getting married, but there's a connection there that can't be denied. Some unspoken thing that tells Crowley he's finally met his match. Now he just has to get married, live happily ever after, and not let his new husband find out that he's only so keen to get hitched because he's in the market for a new cover identity in order to get back to his career as a deadly hitman.
Aziraphale, naturally, felt the exact same way.
A Mr & Mr
sSmith AU -
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“What are you doing here, it’s the middle of the bloody night,” Crowley grumbled.
“It’s actually a little after ten ack emma,” Aziraphale corrected him, “and there’s a problem.”
Crowley sat up, quickly totting up a list of their enemies at the moment and coming up with a sum total of potentially everyone.
for the prompt 'weddings' in the OLHTS weekly crackfic contest
Recent bookmarks
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so you were never a saint. by paperclipbitch for finkpishnets
Fandoms: Skyfall (2012) - Fandom, James Bond (Movies)
04 Nov 2012
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[set post-movie; SPOILERS]
“I think Bond’s trying to be your friend,” Eve tells him.“…well,” Q says slowly, “this is a new and disturbing development.”
- Language:
- English
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- 12,319
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- 1/1
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- 174
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Bookmarked by mortifyingideal
11 Nov 2024
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Bookmarker's Notes
sophie you’re fucking bookmarking this now because every few years you want to read this and every few years you fucking spend a hundred million years (approx) combing AO3 for it so here it is idiot don’t lose it again!!!
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This Soul Outstreaming by Rend_Herring
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
25 Aug 2019
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“Why did you come here?” Aziraphale interrupts. “Why do you keep doing this?” All the saving, he means, all the chasing after Aziraphale he does. It can’t only be that he’s not keen to endure a replacement. That can’t be it, not anymore. He’s going to get himself in trouble, and then it’ll be Aziraphale’s fault.
Crowley’s mouth shuts with a click. He shifts uncomfortably in his seat, reaches for the handle of the fork and taps his fingertips against it before setting his hands in his lap.
When he speaks, it’s very soft. “Don’t you know?” he asks.
Aziraphale, unnaccustomed to his heart refusing to translate why it throbs with such haste, shakes his head.
- Language:
- English
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- 22,118
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- 1/1
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- 7
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- 990
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- 7,458
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Bookmarked by mortifyingideal
09 Oct 2023
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Bookmarker's Notes
this is the one with the brilliant scavenger hunt bit at the end YOU WILL FORGET THIS SOPHIE YOU WILL FORGET EVERY TIME but do not forget now because me, past you, is bookmarking it for an ungrateful wretch (future you)
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You're Wrong About Misericorde by Edonohana for NaomiK
Fandoms: You're Wrong About Podcast RPF
25 Dec 2020
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Sarah tells Mike about the lost horror movie that became an urban legend. Digressions include the chemical formula for mescaline, Sarah imitating Ethan Hawke imitating a Yorkshire prop witch, and where the fat goes after it gets vibrated out of your body by a $19.99 girdle sold on late-night TV.
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- English
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- 8,101
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- 1/1
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- 1
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- 49
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- 226
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- 66
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- 2,698
Bookmarked by mortifyingideal
05 Jan 2021
Bookmarker's Tags:
Bookmarker's Notes
this is so so so fucking cool, i love YWA and honest to god this reads like a genuine episode transcript. the author has nailed Sarah and Michael’s voices, humour, and friendship so perfectly and the level of detail mixing fake and real Hollywood lore is absolutely outstanding.
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Be As You've Always Been by gyzym
Fandoms: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Discworld - Terry Pratchett
15 Oct 2020
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For six thousand years, Aziraphale did his best to exist within the strictures of Heavenly conduct. It wasn’t a perfect practice; his relationship with Crowley, just for example, was never exactly what one might call “officially sanctioned,” or even, “particularly wise,” but the important thing was that Aziraphale tried. He wasn’t a very good angel, but he did his best, more or less. Wasn’t that all anyone could really ask of him?
It doesn’t really feel fair, is the point, that in reward for saving the world, Aziraphale seems to be having something of an existential crisis.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 58,132
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- 1/1
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- 379
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- 1,620
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- 861
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- 31,920
Bookmarked by mortifyingideal
15 Oct 2020
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Bookmarker's Notes
listen, this fic is an incredible incredible gift, like a friend purchasing for you a robin's egg blue 1969 Cadillac DeVille. i implore you to read it, you will feel a tremendous amount of things about yourself, and humanity, and the intersection of both, and then you will want to go and buy yourself an entire new wardrobe and you know what? you should.
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New slang by caricari
Fandoms: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
05 May 2020
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Summary
Crowley wakes up before his alarm goes off, in July. Aziraphale explains why he said no to a visit during lockdown.
Bookmarked by mortifyingideal
30 May 2020
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Bookmarker's Notes
do you know how many times i have revisited this beautiful perfect fic? it is a lot