nopesirthatisillegal



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  1. Public Bookmark 64

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    Peter Parker will never catch a break. From the time he got a predator for a babysitter, to the time he walked out of the Avenger's Compound, never to return, this kid has been through it all. And every time he thought it couldn't get worse, it did.

    This story has no happy ending. Peter knows this.

    Happy endings died when his sister did.

    Happy endings died the first time he attempted suicide.

    Happy endings died when his Aunt and Uncle kicked him out.

    Happy endings died the first time his parents hit him.

    Happy endings died when he was four years old, and he saw that shadow in his doorway. That shadow still follows him to this day.

    Peter believes that if he takes the brunt of everything bad in the world, it means no one else will suffer. He's got it. He can handle it. Other people can't, which is why the universe put all the bad things onto him.

    What happens when Peter begins to believe that he deserves it?

    Language:
    English
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    20/?
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    19 Jul 2024

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Peter Parker has had a lot happen in his 15 years. After both his parents die, his aunt and uncle both die, and an absolutely traumatizing experience in the foster system, he isn’t doing very well. That is, until The Tony Stark suddenly takes an interest in him after he accidentally reveals his intelligence during a school field trip to SI. Will this be where his Parker luck takes a turn for the better?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    46,778
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Comments:
    155
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    4,557
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    15 Jul 2024

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Know that thing in fanfics when Peter joins the Avengers and they train him and all the people who are actually way weaker than Peter wipe the floor with him?
    Because they have so much more EXPERIENCE?
    Because apparently being able to bench over 10 tons and dodge bulletfire and walk away from having a building dropped on you and fighting multiple other baddies almost every day just PALES in the face of the superior EXPERIENCE!
    Yeah, this is not one of those fics.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,985
    Chapters:
    3/3
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    16
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    290
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    20 Apr 2024

  4. Public Bookmark 92

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    Where Aurora Archeron discovers that there are more secrets to her life than she imagined.

    OR

    Where Azriel finds his mate, a mortal with beautiful eyes and a beautiful smile.

    Language:
    English
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    78,324
    Chapters:
    31/?
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    92
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    06 Apr 2024

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    “Fuck off, Nicky.”
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    “Hasn’t anyone ever told you spider-napping is illegal?”
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    “You can’t hold me here, I know my spider-rights.”
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    “God, you guys are so old. What are you? Like 27?”
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    “Scale of 1 to 10, how upset would you be if I told you I banged your mom?”
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

     

    Or, I got my grubby little hands on the spider-man time line and fucked around a little bit. Not much (everything) changes.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    59,583
    Chapters:
    23/?
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    4
    Comments:
    7,455
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    13 Mar 2024