phantorm



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Kaveh angrily shoves the last of his bagel down his throat, then cracks his knuckles and positions his keyboard out in front of him.

    you, he types furiously into the small comment box, are exactly the reason why so many fanfic authors quit writing. lucky for you i don’t give a SHIT about your blockheaded, extremely unqualified opinion. thanks for adding to my already massive view count!!! be sure to subscribe to get notified when i post another work!

    Then he presses post and slams his laptop closed.

    Kaveh deals with his #1 internet hater, FlyingVulture: some rando who reads his Deshret x Nabu fanfiction and leaves comments about how bad his characterization is.

    Meanwhile, he also deals with his #1 real life hater, Al-Haitham: his roommate.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,057
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    251
    Kudos:
    3,614
    Bookmarks:
    897
    Hits:
    28,916

    27 Nov 2024

  2. Rec *

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    Summary

    People keep coming up to Kaveh to congratulate him. Kaveh doesn’t really know why, and he’s a little too scared to ask at this point, so he heads back home, content if not a little bemused.

    He is, unfortunately, reminded of it the very next day, when the door slams open and Al-Haitham stalks in. “Mind telling me why everyone was congratulating me today?” he demands. “About your pregnancy?"

     

    Or: Al-Haitham is, without a doubt, the most annoying person Kaveh knows. Maybe the world’s second-most annoying person can help Kaveh figure him out.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,724
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    556
    Kudos:
    13,788
    Bookmarks:
    3,734
    Hits:
    135,206

    24 Dec 2023

  3. Rec *

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    When the worst of the shock had passed, he looked miserably at his toes, flexing them slowly and trying to figure out how they worked. "Signora has an awful sense of humour," he said, poking one pale thigh. "What a bitch. Can you believe this? I'm a stupid human!"

    Zhongli frowned at him, still holding the side of the boat. Most of his tentacles were slowly moving to stick to the boat's hull, balancing either side. It tasted of wet wood and salt.

    "I would very much like to just be a stupid human right now, Childe," he said, a little pointedly.


    or, where Zhongli meets a merman, gets cursed into the one sea creature he hates more than anything else, and falls in love (in that order).

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    124,866
    Chapters:
    11/11
    Comments:
    136
    Kudos:
    956
    Bookmarks:
    209
    Hits:
    22,780

    08 Dec 2023

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Reread it twice and I still love it so much! <3 :')

  4. Rec 78

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    Summary

    For some reason, Zhongli turned into a child. With no memory whatsoever.

    By listening to conversation, Childe realized that Zhongli never had a proper childhood. So his mission, self assigned, is to give this child the most fun childhood ever while the adepti try to find a way to turn him back.

    Although… He might have to kidnap him from the adepti first…

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,761
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    37
    Kudos:
    452
    Bookmarks:
    78
    Hits:
    4,110

    21 Nov 2023

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Many have flocked to Liyue to try their hand at conquering Rex Lapis’ Path of Indomitable Jade, rumoured to be relentless in its challenge but bountiful in its reward. Unsurprisingly, Ajax’s one track mind honed in on the word challenge and ran all the way to Celestia with it.

    No one told him it was a bygone tradition that vied for the emperor’s hand in marriage, not until much later, when Liyue was already decked to the nines in preparation for the coronation of the emperor’s beloved consort– an Ajax-shaped consort.

    (In which a bored Childe thinks he’s scaling up mountains to fight adepti and gain bountiful gifts for his nation and all that jazz, but he actually ends up wooing one of them and fighting favour from the rest and-- uh, wait, what do you mean the eccentric rock enthusiast is the emperor--)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    113,938
    Chapters:
    15/15
    Comments:
    853
    Kudos:
    6,967
    Bookmarks:
    1,762
    Hits:
    151,422

    15 Jul 2023

    Bookmarker's Notes

    in love with this, so much