queenbee
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Astarion is the perfect escort. He’s seductive, cultured, and very expensive.
It’s men like Gale, heartbroken and newly single, who find themselves inexplicably drawn to his charms.
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Three months after the fall of the Netherbrain, Astarion and Gale embark on their second adventure together.
Nobody told them that it would include inter-dimensional travel, hot dogs, and a weird store called ‘IKEA’.
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how do you do, fellow kids? by queenbee for multipurposetoolguy
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
14 Feb 2024
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Gale, high school maths teacher, has been told that he needed to be ‘hip with the kids’. And what better way to achieve that status than getting a tattoo of a frog doing a kickflip?
His tattoo artist, Astarion, thinks differently.
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Budding photographer Astarion works night shifts at the local supermarket to keep the lights on.
Gale, who is definitely over Mystra, is searching for someone to take photos of him to show her what she’s missed out on.
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“C’mon now, up you get Astarion, our Uber's here!”
When both doors to the backseat of his car were opened, Gale caught the undeniable smell of tequila and was reminded of a terrifying scene in a film he saw as a child, the scene where an inebriated stranger hijacks the backseat of a car and strangles the driver to death with their belt. He knew that wasn’t real or likely to happen at all, but that didn’t change the fact that someone was going to enter his bloody car - someone so drunk that they did not realise that he was in fact, not their Uber.
“Oh, um, I think you have the wrong –”
Recent bookmarks
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Prompto just wants to graduate in one piece (and god forbid, maybe make a few friends), but life has a funny way of delivering the unexpected.
In which, a simple room-transfer changes his life entirely.
- Language:
- English
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- 54,388
- Chapters:
- 9/9
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Bookmarked by queenbee
02 Jun 2024
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People don't want to be broken into pieces for Gale, and so he pretends that he doesn't hunger for it.
For knowledge.
For the power that comes with true understanding.
For the intimacy of it.
He tries not to force his companions open like a book and devour them page by page; it would break their spine in the process.Astarion needs blood and protection.
Gale just ... needs.
They're both full of cracks.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 76,421
- Chapters:
- 20/20
- Comments:
- 744
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- 1,267
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- 280
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- 25,305
Bookmarked by queenbee
18 Mar 2024
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The thing is, Steve’s the kind of guy who tells people to be quiet in movie theaters not because he can’t hear the movie, but because somebody can’t hear the movie; he’s the kind of guy that sticks up for mothers in clothing stores not because they’re his mother, but because they’re somebody’s mother. He’s the kind of guy that—
(It takes seven shots.)
Bookmarked by queenbee
23 Apr 2014
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Gallipoli, April 25, 1915. Australia is a young nation with plenty to prove. And war is where nations prove themselves.
(reposted from ff.net after the unfortunate deletion of George deValier's account in August 2019, with original formatting/italicisation!)
Bookmarked by queenbee
24 Dec 2023
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These days, most everybody in camp had learned to wave away Astarion’s advances with a laugh. They found the flirtation titillating, Gale figured, or a bit threatening, or some combination of the two. He wondered if anybody else found it sad.
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Good old-fashioned rumination on choice and compulsion. Gale and Astarion shake off their metaphorical shackles.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 17,101
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Comments:
- 298
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- 3,009
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- 633
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- 33,365
Bookmarked by queenbee
26 Nov 2023