21 - 40 of 43 Bookmarks by ssllimmity
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Your name is Dave Strider, you're the victor of the 72nd Hunger Games, and the only thing you care about is keeping yourself and your brother safe.
Your name is Dirk Strider, and the Capitol made the mistake of turning you into what you are, before giving you every reason to want to see it burn.
Your name is Jake English, and surviving to become the single most popular victor in the Capitol might in fact have been a fate worse than death.
Your name is Rose Lalonde, and you're going to be the next Head Gamemaker no matter whose corpse you have to step over to get there.
Your name is Karkat Vantas, and you know you're going to die.
Your name is Terezi Pyrope, and you refuse to let them kill you.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 191,128
- Chapters:
- 30/?
- Comments:
- 899
- Kudos:
- 796
- Bookmarks:
- 127
- Hits:
- 19,253
Bookmarked by ssllimmity
17 May 2024
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When Prince Jake died, the first person who suggested Prince Dirk remarry was left on display for two months until the King forced Dirk to return the body to his family. But it's been a year now, so surely Dirk won't actually hurt the troll who he's being forced to marry.
After all, the peace is fragile and both sides need to learn to see each other as people, not aliens. As allies. What better way than a marriage? What better ambassador than Karkat Vantas, war hero turned romance author?Series
- Part 1 of Prince of Grief
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shits definitely got a certain bouquet of jpeg artifact to it not to mention its strong as hell i think we invented something beautiful and terrible here today by itsdave
Fandoms: Homestuck
15 Jul 2020
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Dave and Dirk get drunk.
Bookmarked by ssllimmity
22 Apr 2024
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It was pretty common knowledge around the mortals that you had to be wary of tradespeople. Not that they were all malicious or anything, but when you lived next door to beings with that much power, it paid to be careful.
The problem is Dave Strider is not very careful.
Series
- Part 1 of the trades of clay and gold
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 35,286
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 231
- Kudos:
- 988
- Bookmarks:
- 215
- Hits:
- 13,332
Bookmarked by ssllimmity
20 Apr 2024
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A Sick-Ass Kong Vault Straight Through the Goddamned Parsley by godtiermeme
Fandoms: Homestuck
08 May 2022
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Karkat Vantas is your everyday work-from-home twenty-something. As a phone support agent, he makes money by placating entitled weirdos. It's a long, boring, and terrible job for someone with a history of anger issues, and it's about to be made even worse by some insufferable dumbass wannabe parkour stuntman crashing through his prized parsley. Because of course that happens. Of course the universe decides that it is National Shit on Karkat Day, as it is every other day of the year.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 99,927
- Chapters:
- 25/25
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 287
- Kudos:
- 469
- Bookmarks:
- 85
- Hits:
- 8,358
Bookmarked by ssllimmity
18 Apr 2024
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"Why is this shitfuck pan-rotting pile of artifact-ridden, glitchy, nonsensical sewage that can barely pass itself off as a movie somehow a thoughtful criticism on the global rise of authoritarianism and well-put commentary on how young working class males are forced into the military? What the actual fuck? Why do none of the other reviews mention this?"
--
Aka famous movie director "D Strider" pays Karkat to review his shitty movies, and Karkat grows increasingly alarmed that they actually mean something under all of the mind-numbing bullshit. Meeting Strider, the biggest douchebag in the world, does not help. Also he keeps meeting this annoyingly smart human kid and his awkward/obnoxious but very hot guardian. These two things are entirely unrelated.
Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 117,856
- Chapters:
- 26/26
- Comments:
- 1,456
- Kudos:
- 1,615
- Bookmarks:
- 338
- Hits:
- 36,509
Bookmarked by ssllimmity
11 Apr 2024
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Summary
Dream-sharing: a highly illegal little industry in which agents delve into people's dreams, and unearth their deepest secrets and memories.
Within this business, the Strider-Lalondes are known as the best there is — until Dirk Strider gets his fool-ass trapped within the confines of his own subconscious, with his Auto-Responder playing malicious prison warden.
To save him, the best and brightest dreamers in the world will have to form a team. Backed by the token rich friend, lead by the surliest extractor ever bribed out of retirement, haunted by the shade of the latest, greatest agent in the biz, and on the run through a dangerous tiered dream in a hostile mind... It's going to take a miracle to pull this one off.
11/11/21: FULLY REVISED WITH A "FIVE YEARS LATER" EPILOGUE
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 116,613
- Chapters:
- 18/18
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 733
- Kudos:
- 2,363
- Bookmarks:
- 673
- Hits:
- 52,987
Bookmarked by ssllimmity
06 Apr 2024
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Summary
As Karkat tries to figure out his powers as a god, the "human" he attempted to bring his wrath down on seems to be running circles around him.
Or: how to conduct a relationship when the fourth time you meet him is the eighteenth time he meets you and the sixth time you meet him is the third time he meets you and god DAMN, Dave, could you stop time travelling for two fucking seconds?
Bookmarked by ssllimmity
26 Mar 2024
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Alpha-Dave has everything anyone could want: fame, fortune, legions of adoring fans, and a shitty hatchback car.
But behind the shades is a man who knows the world is ending, and who wakes each morning expecting to see a lover who isn't there. Someone he's never even met.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 80,521
- Chapters:
- 37/37
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 569
- Kudos:
- 914
- Bookmarks:
- 181
- Hits:
- 17,545
Bookmarked by ssllimmity
18 Mar 2024
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Doc Scratch's School for Supernaturally Gifted Adolescents by medical
Fandoms: Homestuck
03 Jul 2019
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One minute you get a mysterious message from a man who types all in white like a jackass, and the next thing you know you're being whisked away to a mystical school for kids with superpowers. If you weren't Dave fucking Strider, this sort of thing might bother you.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 231,085
- Chapters:
- 28/28
- Collections:
- 5
- Comments:
- 1,116
- Kudos:
- 3,878
- Bookmarks:
- 762
- Hits:
- 88,759
Bookmarked by ssllimmity
24 Feb 2024
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>Dave: survive three years on this rock by MadSeason (naive_wanderer)
Fandoms: Homestuck
18 Aug 2020
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Summary
Growing up on a flying meteor is hard work. You know this from experience.
TG: dude what is this piece of shit you just sent me
CG: TO PUT IT IN YOUR HUMAN TERMS:
CG: IT’S A FUCKING LOVE STORY, DAVE.Well, it's a bit more than that.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 61,007
- Chapters:
- 11/11
- Comments:
- 345
- Kudos:
- 2,711
- Bookmarks:
- 622
- Hits:
- 44,343
Bookmarked by ssllimmity
21 Feb 2024
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Summary
An Alternate Universe is a fictional device wherein characters are taken from their 'canon' setting and placed into a different one, such as, say... a magical university.
Or: In which Karkat Vantas finally gets to leave his miserable life behind to attend the prestigious Salem University for magical studies. Finally he can make friends, learn things, hopefully work out just what species he is. And Karkat Vantas being who he is there might be a romance or two on the cards.
Series
- Part 1 of Alternate Universe(s)
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Take Into the Air (My Quiet Breath) by GuardianMira
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
24 Jul 2018
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Summary
Draco is dying of Hanahaki Disease. Serves him right, Harry thinks.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 11,725
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 484
- Kudos:
- 15,855
- Bookmarks:
- 2,893
- Hits:
- 140,846
Bookmarked by ssllimmity
04 May 2023
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Summary
When the war isn’t quite as over as it first appears, a guilt-ridden Harry is sent to a mysterious safe-house. Among sandwiches, insomnia, and Mills & Boon, he discovers something quite unexpected. [Smoochfest 2012]
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 60,549
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 603
- Kudos:
- 15,972
- Bookmarks:
- 4,597
- Hits:
- 255,596
Bookmarked by ssllimmity
02 May 2023
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Kept in Cages by ihopeyoubothstaysafefromharm, sweet_s0rr0w
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
07 Aug 2022
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Summary
Deep in the heart of the Ministry lies the Beast Division: a hidden room where ancient beasts roam, and winged creatures soar, and grumpy giant ferrets eat all your biscuits unless you keep them well hidden. Draco Malfoy would know – he’s been working there for five years now, after all.
Meanwhile, on Level One, ex-Golden Boy Harry Potter is stuck in another interminable policy meeting, completely unaware of the mysterious comings and goings just three floors below. But when a giant snake emergency requires the assistance of a Parselmouth, Harry finds himself thrust, unprepared, into Draco’s weird and wonderful world – and naturally, he can’t keep away…
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 76,823
- Chapters:
- 13/13
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 300
- Kudos:
- 2,458
- Bookmarks:
- 811
- Hits:
- 53,335
Bookmarked by ssllimmity
06 Mar 2023
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Summary
"Are you going for the course?" Lovegood asked. "You have the NEWTs.”
“What course?” Draco said, then, “No, don’t be ridiculous,” when he realized she meant the notice pinned up on the board he’d been staring at: Applicants To The Introductory Mediwizard Course For The Coming Term Shall Present Themselves In The Chief Mediwizard’s Office By August 24th.
“Oh, I thought you might,” she said. “Well, goodbye.” And off she wandered again in her addled way.
Series
- Part 12 of Harry Potter works
- Part 3 of Astolat Sampler
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 46,905
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 1,549
- Kudos:
- 23,925
- Bookmarks:
- 8,887
- Hits:
- 353,231
Bookmarked by ssllimmity
03 Mar 2023
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Upon Narcissa’s death, Draco Malfoy lets his best mate decide on a new place for him to live and set up his flower shop. Pansy, the meddling witch that she is, picks Godric’s Hollow. Specifically, the oh-so-conveniently available space next to Harry Potter’s bookshop.
What could possibly go wrong? According to Hermione, only everything. According to Ron, this is exactly what Harry needs. Blaise is only there to watch the whole thing crash and burn, and Luna saw it coming years ago.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 25,000
- Chapters:
- 13/13
- Comments:
- 297
- Kudos:
- 685
- Bookmarks:
- 180
- Hits:
- 11,107
Bookmarked by ssllimmity
03 Mar 2023
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Summary
Professor Malfoy's world is contained, controlled, and as solitary as he can make it, but when an act of petty revenge goes horribly awry, he and his trusty six-legged friend are thrown into Hogwarts life at the deep end and must learn to live, love and let go.
Series
- Part 1 of All Life is Yours to Miss
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 114,741
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Comments:
- 1,447
- Kudos:
- 21,045
- Bookmarks:
- 7,333
- Hits:
- 504,207
Bookmarked by ssllimmity
02 Mar 2023
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Summary
Draco Malfoy has been missing for three years. Harry is assigned the cold case and finds himself slowly falling in love with the memories he collects.
Series
- Part 1 of Running on Air
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 74,880
- Chapters:
- 17/17
- Collections:
- 18
- Comments:
- 5,374
- Kudos:
- 65,334
- Bookmarks:
- 21,550
- Hits:
- 1,598,333
Bookmarked by ssllimmity
02 Mar 2023
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Summary
Harry is an Auror instructor. Malfoy wants to be an Auror.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 139,812
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 1,510
- Kudos:
- 6,622
- Bookmarks:
- 2,316
- Hits:
- 201,223
Bookmarked by ssllimmity
02 Mar 2023