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you talk of the pain like it's all alright by perchancetosleep
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types
28 Mar 2026
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Summary
As soon as Ilya realizes that he has to kill himself, his brain immediately latches onto one indisputable fact: someone is going to have to find his body. There is no way around that, but not even the premature guilt for whoever has the unpleasant task is enough to talk him out of it, anymore.
If he hadn’t ghosted Galina, she’d probably tell him that he cares so much about it because of his own experience finding his mother. She’d also probably tell him that the fact that losing Shane Hollander is enough to make him kill himself means that he’s got a long, nonoptional date with a padded room clogging up his calendar for the foreseeable future. She already has a lot of fucking opinions about Shane and their fucked up situation, and Ilya really is fucking sick of hearing about it because he will not let her ruin the one good fucking thing he has.
Had.
(or: there is no plane crash. there is still a catastrophe.)
Bookmarked by starstuffnvoid
26 May 2026
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all lights turned off can be turned on by anincompletelist (soldouthaz)
Fandom Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)
07 Mar 2026
- Words:
- 14,176
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 684
Bookmarked by starstuffnvoid
26 May 2026
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No more questions. by igrowtails
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types, Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
30 Apr 2026
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Summary
Prompt from Reddit - a tired Ilya answers a media question a little too honestly.
Bookmarked by starstuffnvoid
24 May 2026
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“-moya rybka, I am sorry, sweet girl-” Ilya is saying, on his knees in the middle of their living room and patting the rug near him with what looks like devastation on his face as Anya continues to ignore him, curled up on Shane’s lap instead. Fresh off of several stacked events to fit them into a weekend–because Shane’s mom is nothing if not efficient when it comes to the deals she makes–Ilya got home only a few minutes ago, still in the outfit he’d left his Buzzfeed puppy interview in, which Anya had clearly not appreciated, sniffing him suspiciously after her initial excited greeting and then retreating to Shane immediately when he patted his thigh in welcome.
Shane is trying not to be obviously enjoying Ilya’s turmoil as much as he is, shifting Anya to lay on her back like a baby in one arm and cooing at her.
“I know, huh? Papa left and played with who knows how many other dogs, and the whole time you were here missing him. I bet he wasn’t even thinking about you, huh?”
“Hollander!” Ilya says, sounding scandalized. “Do not tell her that! Is not true!”
(collection of standalone fics/ficlets prompted by my own tumblr posts) (will update as inspiration strikes)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 47,973
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Comments:
- 817
- Kudos:
- 5,349
- Bookmarks:
- 1,181
- Hits:
- 82,994
Bookmarked by starstuffnvoid
24 May 2026
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Deleted Messages can get you in trouble by Riekawrites
Fandom Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types, Heated Rivalry (TV)
20 Apr 2026
- Words:
- 24,372
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 435
Bookmarked by starstuffnvoid
23 May 2026
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Summary
“Luch-Shane,” Ilya says, catching himself only at the last moment before he breaks their no pet names in the workplace rule. “Why don’t you get some air, yes? We can-”
Shane’s anxiety takes a quick backseat to annoyance once more, at being handled like a child instead of a grown man, like he hasn’t been doing this just as long as Ilya, like he needs someone to tell him when to take a break.
Like he deserved to have everything taken away from him because he couldn’t handle it to start with.
“I’m fine,” he says, voice icy.
The step he takes away is too big, farther than he meant to get from Ilya’s side, and the air between them feels both charged and icy.
He isn’t quite bold enough to try and fix it.
(shane is married and on the same team as his husband) (and all it cost him was his whole career and the life he spent years building beforehand) (but it's fine, really) (it's all so very, very fucking fine)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 18,140
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Comments:
- 260
- Kudos:
- 2,977
- Bookmarks:
- 760
- Hits:
- 20,959
Bookmarked by starstuffnvoid
22 May 2026
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“Just-” Ilya starts, intending to tease, the offer of a massage more about getting Hollander back in a more relaxed headspace than anything else, but then the wire-tight tension in the muscles under his fingers registers, and he frowns, pressing testingly before making a noise of disapproval. “Fuck, Hollander, you are secretly doing crime or what?”
“What?” Hollander asks, confused, starting to lift his head before Ilya pushes it back down absently, focused now on feeling out the knots Hollander seems to be completely made of. He’s felt tension in Hollander’s shoulders before, usually during coaxing little squeezes while coaching him through learning how to deep throat, but he’s always written it off as nerves from learning something new.
Now he wonders if Hollander is just nerves, period.
(the "ilya massages shane" fic inspired by hudson saying that playing shane made him sore because he was so tense all the time)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 11,123
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Comments:
- 173
- Kudos:
- 2,502
- Bookmarks:
- 450
- Hits:
- 15,282
Bookmarked by starstuffnvoid
21 May 2026
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“-can’t see each other again,” Ilya says, looking only at Shane’s hand, holding it so, so gently and stroking over Shane’s skin so, so softly. The soothing feeling of it makes it very hard to focus, but Shane tries very hard to do it anyway. “I tried-we tried, but this can’t happen again.” It takes a moment, but Shane finally manages to make sense of the words, and he lets out a soft noise of understanding.
Ah. He’s apologizing that he won’t be able to see Shane in the hospital again before he leaves.
“I understand,” he says, and he does. It was probably really hard for Ilya to get here even once, and it can’t be very long before his plane leaves. He’s sad, of course–they didn’t even get to spend time together, really–but it’s not like this will be the last chance they ever have to see each other. He gives Ilya his best attempt at a smile, and if it comes out a little sad, too, all Ilya does is reach out to stroke the backs of his fingers gently over his cheek.
(ilya goes through with his plan to break up with shane in the hospital) (the problem? shane is too high to understand that he's being broken up with)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,369
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 330
- Kudos:
- 5,204
- Bookmarks:
- 1,051
- Hits:
- 27,286
Bookmarked by starstuffnvoid
21 May 2026
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He gnaws at the guilt of his own actions the way Anya does her chew toys for days after, Shane clearly picking up on something going on with him but also giving him space to work it over in his head until he’s ready to share.
Right up until they’re out at team dinner and the two other smokers at the table excuse themselves for a smoke outside and Shane looks to him expectantly-
-only to frown when Ilya stays where he is.
(how and why ilya finally gives up smoking)
Bookmarked by starstuffnvoid
20 May 2026
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Summary
“Hi,” Ilya says, his attempt at making his voice a purr lost to how fucking happy he is, to have this, to see Shane Hollander in a way no one else ever gets to. He crosses the room and kneels over him, pulling him up into a kiss that Shane gives him easily, making a sweet, soft noise that makes Ilya want to bite him with how cute it is. Instead, he gets a handful of the edge of the soft, fuzzy blanket to whip it off of Shane and replace it with his own body-
-only to be stopped when the blanket turns out to be far, far fucking heavier than he anticipated, pulling him up short when his attempt at a flick ends with barely moving the edge before it flops back down with audible weight.
(ilya versus shane's weighted blanket)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,155
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 244
- Kudos:
- 4,577
- Bookmarks:
- 1,031
- Hits:
- 25,766
Bookmarked by starstuffnvoid
20 May 2026
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Shane should be here right now, should be in Ilya’s house. Ilya should be teasing him about being picky while going through delivery options for food on his phone. Shane should be discovering that Ilya has ginger ale in the fridge and the protein bars Shane mentioned liking in an interview in his pantry. He should be making out with Shane on the couch, sneaking a hand into his pants, teasing him about whether they can beat the deliveryman and arrive before he does. Shane was supposed to spend the night tonight, the Montreal team not set to leave until tomorrow afternoon because of potential bad weather in the morning. Shane should be fed and showered and ready to curl up in bed with Ilya tonight.
But Shane is in a hospital.And Ilya is here.
He pulls up Jane in his phone again. He presses call.
“Hey, you’ve reached Shane Hollander-”
Ilya closes his eyes and lets Shane’s voice roll over him.
(canon divergence in which shane getting injured happens during a game in boston) (...which means shane then gets to go home with ilya to recover)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 24,930
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Comments:
- 504
- Kudos:
- 6,105
- Bookmarks:
- 1,530
- Hits:
- 46,904
Bookmarked by starstuffnvoid
20 May 2026
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“That’s not-” Shane starts, but he stops himself. Ilya tilts his head slightly in question, but Shane bites the inside of his cheek and then shakes his head slightly, cheeks flushing. “I do trust you,” Shane says.
“But not with your car?” Ilya asks. “You are afraid I will drive all the boring out of it?”
Shane rolls his eyes.
“It’s a good car-” He starts in another refrain of one of his favorite summer songs.
Ilya rolls them and pins his boyfriend under him before he has to hear about four wheel drive and gas mileage again.
There are far better uses for Shane’s mouth, after all.
(in which ilya learns that being a passenger in the car knocks shane tf out)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,060
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 187
- Kudos:
- 3,921
- Bookmarks:
- 845
- Hits:
- 21,623
Bookmarked by starstuffnvoid
18 May 2026
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Beneath the roiling irritation, Shane is pretty sure he’s going to feel stupid in about an hour about this argument.
Right now, though, he’s in the middle of it and annoyed enough to stay there.
“-any fucking sense,” he says, slapping the dishtowel in his hand down on the counter and only succeeding in winding himself up further when it hits a little puddle of dishwater that sprays droplets on him.
Unfortunately, the easiest outlet for this frustration is also the person who started this argument in the first fucking place: Ilya.
“It does not need to make sense,” Ilya says, arms crossed over his chest in a way that says he’s feeling just as ready to commit to the world’s most stupid fight about nothing as Shane is. “Is about feeling.”
“And you feel like you would love a worm?” Shane asks, mirroring Ilya’s posture in a way that’s meant to be mocking.
From the way Ilya’s jaw tightens, he noticed, and it sends a petty little thrill through Shane.
(ilya tries to be sweet and let shane know he would love him even if he was a worm) (somehow it ends up turning into a fight)
Bookmarked by starstuffnvoid
17 May 2026
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“...oh,” his mom says. “Oh, honey, you were seeing someone? You never said anything.”
“It’s-it’s complicated.” He catches the present tense too fucking late to do anything about it, and he barely resists the urge to either groan or slip forward to start beating his head against the coffee table.
Fuck his fucking life.
“You’re still…seeing this person?” His mom asks, and the amount of control he can hear her exerting is almost painful. “Who is-”
“Yuna,” his dad cuts in, voice quiet, “maybe give him a second, yeah?”
Yeah, Shane agrees in his head. Give him a second.
Maybe give him a decade while they’re at it.
(when shane's old fake id falls out of his wallet around his parents, he has to explain that it was to book hotel rooms before he was 21)
(...and then he has to explain why he needed to book those hotel rooms in the first place)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 21,781
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Comments:
- 705
- Kudos:
- 10,513
- Bookmarks:
- 2,312
- Hits:
- 58,249
Bookmarked by starstuffnvoid
17 May 2026
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Ow.
It’s all Brian can think as he shrugs out of his leather jacket and braces himself at the sink in the Toretto kitchen, eyes squeezed shut against the throbbing in his head. That, and you idiot, for letting his guard down long enough for Vince to knock him out with the butt of a rifle.
Bookmarked by starstuffnvoid
17 May 2026
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“You are planning to rob me or what?” He hears Rozanov call, and he can’t help but smile slightly even as he rolls his eyes, closing the door to the linen closet and feeling strangely lighter than when he opened it, reassured that he’s just trying to read into a blank page, that today doesn’t mean anything more than Rozanov doesn’t mind him being around, which is strangely flattering.
“I don’t know,” he calls back. “Don’t Russians like diamonds and fur and stuff? Where should I start looking if I want to know what my options are?”
He hears Rozanov laugh, and it makes him smile.
When he joins him in the living room once more, Rozanov tugs him down to lean against him again. Shane goes easier this time, settling into it, knowing it doesn’t mean anything other than the fact that he just happens to be the closest warm body, the person on Rozanov’s roster who filled today’s slot.
(the tuna meltdown doesn't happen) (this does not mean they get ANY better at communication)
(or: how shane didn't realize he had a boyfriend for several months)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 23,094
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 903
- Kudos:
- 13,572
- Bookmarks:
- 3,955
- Hits:
- 108,410
Bookmarked by starstuffnvoid
16 May 2026
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“You…wanted to see me?” He asks, barely resisting a wince at how awkwardly it comes out. “After yesterday-” He stops, swallows.
Hollander makes a face–one of Ilya’s favorite faces, in fact–that says he’s a little embarrassed about what he’s about to say. Ilya feels his chest go a little tighter, wondering if Hollander has had time to reconsider, if he’d even planned to reach out after the game, apologize for spooking and running, ask to come ba-
“Did something…happen yesterday?” Hollander asks.
Ilya stares at him.
(the accident that takes shane out for the season happens the day after the tuna meltdown) (...it also takes his memory of the tuna meltdown with it)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 22,217
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 296
- Kudos:
- 3,883
- Bookmarks:
- 833
- Hits:
- 25,959
Bookmarked by starstuffnvoid
16 May 2026
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Public Bookmark 709
Mystery Work
Part of Crypto
Summary
This is part of an ongoing challenge and will be revealed soon!
Bookmarked by starstuffnvoid
09 May 2026
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Summary
When you’re going up in flames, sometimes other people can smell the smoke. On the flip side, at least: when you’re on fire, sometimes other people can feel the warmth.
Or, scenes from Home Economics, told from the perspective of everyone else.
Series
- Part 10 of my heated rivalry anon fics
- Part 2 of homegrown
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 25,161
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 1,410
- Kudos:
- 9,299
- Bookmarks:
- 2,151
- Hits:
- 124,660
Bookmarked by starstuffnvoid
25 Apr 2026
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The Swiss National League doesn’t care about the legendary Hollander-Rozanov rivalry. When the MLH can’t negotiate with the Hockey Players’ Union in time to prevent a hockey lockout at the start of the 2015 season, the Zürich Lions jump at the chance to sign both Shane and Ilya to short-term contracts. For four months in Switzerland, they share a team, a line, a house, and a bed.
Then the lockout ends in January, and it’s time to go back. Back to different countries, cities, lives. Beds.
Reentry is harder than expected.
Series
- Part 8 of my heated rivalry anon fics
- Part 1 of homegrown
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 38,174
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 3,922
- Kudos:
- 30,631
- Bookmarks:
- 12,856
- Hits:
- 578,880
Bookmarked by starstuffnvoid
25 Apr 2026