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what thing it is (that people most desire) by Jinxed_Ink for noah_czerny
Fandoms: 人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
05 Jul 2020
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Summary
"I never had any intention to marry.”
“Never?” there was an odd light in Qingqiu’s eyes, an indecipherable tension in his voice.
“Once,” Yue Qingyuan corrected. “When I was very young. There was someone I believed I would marry, then.” The world had seemed much simpler, at sixteen. For all the danger that plagued their lives, they had both been so certain of each other.
“Youthful folly,” Qingqiu said, his smile sliding sideways. “I know something of that. I came to my senses, eventually. I see your Majesty did, too.”
In which Shen Jiu deals with his feelings of abandonment the sensible way (by disguising his identity and blackmailing the person who abandoned him into marriage) and Yue Qingyuan accidentally falls in love with the same person twice.
Very, very loosely based on the Arthurian legend "The Wedding of Sir Gawain and Dame Ragnelle"
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 9,972
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 167
- Kudos:
- 2,498
- Bookmarks:
- 579
- Hits:
- 16,983
Bookmarked by throwaway4bookmarks
28 Aug 2021
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A college summerstock theatre AU, in which perpetual funnyman Richie discovers that maybe he can play a romantic leading role, after all.
Bookmarked by throwaway4bookmarks
20 Mar 2020
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The nurse double checks that her bracelet matches the bassinet before they’re separated: Margaret Tozier, Baby Tozier- just as they should be.
“What name did you decide?” she asks.
“Richard,” Maggie smiles.
The nurse chuckles a little. “You don’t hear as much of that one as you used to, since Watergate.”
Series
- Part 2 of Keeping it in the Family
Bookmarked by throwaway4bookmarks
20 Mar 2020
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For the most part Richie and his sister have a doctrine of mutually assured destruction. They could obliterate each other with their parents given the slightest provocation. To keep things at an even keel, they steer clear of each other as much as possible every other day of the year, but on Thanksgiving? Kids Table is like their NATO.
A series of Tozier Thanksgivings, from '85 to '19.
Series
- Part 1 of Keeping it in the Family
Bookmarked by throwaway4bookmarks
20 Mar 2020
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love is the thing with wings (tweet tweet, richie) by lizifer
Fandoms: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
17 Nov 2019
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no · @raisedbyparrots• 5 h
stuck in the window seat beside a sad tall dude who has 85 elbows somehow, thank god this is a short flight
this is interesting- he's writing a text message LOVE CONFESSION and is concentrating so hard on it that I don't think he's noticed me reading every word 👀
Love interest is named EDDIE, and he has a WIFE #planemanloveseddie
Bookmarked by throwaway4bookmarks
14 Mar 2020
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“Jesus Christ,” Eddie muttered. Maybe there was a curling iron around here somewhere he could electrocute himself with. He scrounged a few safety pins from the counter and passed them to Bev without looking directly at Richie. He knew he was being a little bitch, but he could not let on how jealous he was. Their friendship barely survived the Christmas Richie got a Sega.
- In which Eddie mistakes wanting to be ON Richie for wanting to BE Richie -
Bookmarked by throwaway4bookmarks
13 Mar 2020
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It wasn’t immediately obvious to the Losers that something was wrong with Richie after the Deadlights. After all, his eyesight had always been shit.
Bookmarked by throwaway4bookmarks
13 Mar 2020
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Ben Hanscom ✔ @benhandsome
Hey @richietozier, we’re having real trouble putting together our new bookcase. Think one of the brackets is warped. Don’t suppose you have a long, rigid tool that could help us out? #dicktozierRichie ‘The Second Best’ Tozier ✔ @richietozier
replying to @benhandsome
Oh yeah, sure Ben! Always happy to help a friend out. How about this one, will it do? #dicktozier
[attached image is a close up of Eddie’s middle finger]Eddie ‘The Functional’ Tozier ✔ @eddietozier
replying to @richietozier @benhandsome
Can I suggest this one instead? Overcompensating much, Ben? #dicktozier
[attached image is a photo of Ben’s incredibly bulging bicep, shirtless and flexed. It looks oddly as though it might also be oiled]Richie Tozier, famed comedian, shy debutante and adored husband of the Internet, gets his own trending hashtag after Bill accidentally reveals too much in a DVD extra. He also gets an Oscar nomination, but no-one's talking about that. Unfortunately.
Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 12,279
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 229
- Kudos:
- 2,896
- Bookmarks:
- 263
- Hits:
- 25,715
Bookmarked by throwaway4bookmarks
09 Mar 2020
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my whole trajectory’s toward you, and it’s not losing momentum by theappleppielifestyle
Fandoms: IT (2019)
05 Mar 2020
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Beside him, someone stirs.
Eddie turns towards it, thinking of sleepovers with the Losers, of Richie knocking on his window at 10pm and crawling into Eddie’s bed when he lets him in.
His eyes adjust. It still takes a second.
“Morning, babe,” says a man, a full-grown adult man, in his fucking bed.
(Or, 14 year old Eddie gets a glimpse into what's coming.)
Bookmarked by throwaway4bookmarks
07 Mar 2020
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Eddie grabs Stan’s arm and yanks him farther along, to the end of the driveway. “Okay, listen. We were childhood friends. We went to the same summer camp every year, from age eight to, like, fifteen. That’s it. And we were penpals in between, but, anyway, I ran into him last week in New York. I was having a terrible week, and suddenly he was there, and I was like, 'Bill Denbrough?' And he smiled and he was like, ‘Oh, hi, Eddie.’ And he’s like glowing, and he says, 'I live in L.A. now and it’s great and I’m so happy,' and I was like, hmm, happy, what’s that like, so I quit my job and I moved out here. And I know that sounds crazy, like I moved here for him, but I didn’t move here for him, he just happens to live here. As do four million other people. Thirteen million if you include the entire metro area. So, I am not crazy.”
+ When Eddie runs into a childhood friend, he moves to L.A. on a whim. | Crazy Ex-Girlfriend AU
Series
- Part 1 of They say love makes you crazy
Bookmarked by throwaway4bookmarks
23 Feb 2020
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Richie makes a deal with the devil and Derry pays the price. The Losers reunite to deal with the consequences.
"Behind him, almost imperceptible, he hears the footsteps. Richie’s heart jumps in his chest and he lets out a rush of air but before he can turn Pennywise is in his ear saying, REMEMBER RICHIE: DON’T LOOK BACK.
“Okay, okay.” Richie says, every muscle in his body aching to turn around. "Old school, I can dig it.” "Russian translation now available, courtesy of the amazing YellowGrass: //ficbook.net/readfic/8913444
Series
- Part 1 of Orpheus Had No Follow-Through
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 37,703
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Comments:
- 311
- Kudos:
- 1,585
- Bookmarks:
- 420
- Hits:
- 21,563
Bookmarked by throwaway4bookmarks
09 Feb 2020
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Jaskier is an affectionate man. It drives Geralt mad, but in more ways than he knows how to put into words.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,203
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 12
- Comments:
- 663
- Kudos:
- 26,743
- Bookmarks:
- 3,172
- Hits:
- 228,754
Bookmarked by throwaway4bookmarks
31 Jan 2020
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now we're under the covers by plinys for OfTheDirewolves
Fandoms: IT (Movies - Muschietti)
06 Nov 2019
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“What if it isn’t a 'girlfriend' that I want to bring home for Thanksgiving?”
[or: Richie lies and says he has a boyfriend to bring home for Thanksgiving, and when Eddie is faced with a Thanksgiving alone since he has no home to go back to. Richie comes up with what is either the world's best plan or the world's worst plan.]
Bookmarked by throwaway4bookmarks
21 Dec 2019
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In which Richie is always pretending to be Eddie’s boyfriend, Eddie fucking hates it, and finally Eddie decides two can play that game (it is not a total disaster… depending on your definition of total disaster).
Bookmarked by throwaway4bookmarks
18 Dec 2019
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The Ladies Book Club of the Ninety-Ninth Precinct by igrockspock for mardia
Fandoms: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
23 Dec 2014
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The rules of the book club are as follows:
1. Book club is called book club. If you have some other stupid name for it, don't say it out loud.
2. No inviting boys.
3. No inviting Gina. She only reads Twilight.
4. No graphic violence (in books, or at meetings).
5. Nothing approximating a romance novel.
6. No setting disagreeable selections on fire.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,335
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 178
- Kudos:
- 2,513
- Bookmarks:
- 435
- Hits:
- 14,547
Bookmarked by throwaway4bookmarks
16 Dec 2019
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Who is the greater fool, (or something like that) asked Obi Wan Kenobi, the fool or the fool who follows him?
Richie is the fool. Obviously. Eddie is the fool who followed him. And now Eddie feels like he can answer Obi Wan with confidence: the greater fool is the one who doesn’t call bullshit on the bullshitter and instead goes, what the hell, why not? It’s not like there’s anything better to do.
Series
- Part 2 of The Greater Fool Series
Bookmarked by throwaway4bookmarks
08 Dec 2019
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Finally, Richie shrugs everyone off, Eddie included, and casts a sort of self-conscious glance around at them before settling again on Eddie.
“Thanks,” he says, and then, “so” – he draws the vowel out in a way that’s both reassuringly Richie-like and mild-to-moderately bizarre to hear coming out of Eddie’s own mouth – “this is fucking weird.”
“You’re telling me,” Eddie says in Richie’s voice.
(In which Richie doesn't entirely manage to shake off the unpredictable effects of the Deadlights, resulting in him and Eddie switching bodies.)
Bookmarked by throwaway4bookmarks
07 Dec 2019
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"Eddie has been turning his memories over in his head like they used to sift through rocks at the bottoms of creek beds as children, looking for buried treasure. He doesn’t know what he’s looking for, exactly, but it feels important.
The memories don’t feel twenty-five, thirty years old; they feel fresh, because he just got them back and hasn’t had the opportunity to go over them until they distort and fade. He feels like he could’ve been sixteen yesterday. He didn’t enjoy being sixteen, but he thinks it was better than twenty-six or thirty-six or the years in between.
He’s sorted them into careful categories that mainly revolve around every time Richie ever touched him, and he still hasn’t managed to figure out if it meant anything."
Before everyone leaves Derry for the last time, Richie tells them about the guy he's dating back home in Los Angeles. Eddie feels extremely weird about it and he can't figure out why, because it's definitely not because he's jealous. Obviously it's not that.
Bookmarked by throwaway4bookmarks
05 Dec 2019
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When asked why he ever agreed to let Stan set him up on a blind date in the first place, Richie would blame a temporary loss of sanity. Like his brain was all clogged up with enough dumb horny energy that he forgot to stop and recall that Stan is straight and has terrible taste in men.
The date goes... not well.
----
this is just 6k and some change of soft self indulgent scene after soft self indulgent scene and that's the god's honest truth
Series
- Part 1 of bad first date
Bookmarked by throwaway4bookmarks
04 Dec 2019
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End Racism in the OTW | Richie Tozier: The Manchild Tour by hellotailor
Fandoms: IT (Movies - Muschietti)
28 Oct 2019
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The Manchild Grows Up: An interview with comedian Richie Tozier, November 2019.
“Everyone in this industry either has a pill habit, or they can’t hold a relationship together for more than two months," Tozier explains. "Or they spend 16 hours a day arguing with people on Twitter. Best case scenario is you find a way to be reasonably well-adjusted about your desperate need for strangers to laugh at you.”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,267
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 177
- Kudos:
- 6,102
- Bookmarks:
- 1,028
- Hits:
- 34,457
Bookmarked by throwaway4bookmarks
03 Dec 2019