toomuchboringfiah_3



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    A fiery plane crash claims Ilya Rozanov’s life in January. By April, Shane Hollander is dead of a broken heart. The truth dies with them.

    Yuna Hollander will do anything to get her son back, including hiring a shady shaman to resurrect him. There’s just one complication — Shane isn’t coming back alone.

    Now there are codependent (not)zombies in her house wearing Ilya and Shane’s faces. When they inexplicably act more like a married couple than the bitter rivals she expected, Yuna is convinced that they came back wrong.

    It’s easier than admitting she never understood them from the start.

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    6/6
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    07 Aug 2026

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    this is real masterpiece. mama bear Yuna i love u😭

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane Hollander is a man who thrives on structure, routine, the solid ground of a ten-year plan. Ilya likes that about him, likes the embracing squeeze of having a life organized in tandem with Shane.

    No one would call Ilya a man who thrives on structure. But it’s there, if not in his DNA then in the patterns of his brain. A call-and-response of: they do this, I do that.

    When Ilya’s life is flayed open for the world to dissect, how will they push-and-pull their way back towards what was once a well-organized life?


    “I thought we could go through the schedules and figure out what days we’ll be in the same cities this season, or when either of us have a couple of days off in a row. Maybe make a shared calendar, so we c—”

    “A sex calendar? Your parents are arriving in thirty minutes, and you are proposing making a sex calendar?” Oh, this was delicious. He’d be able to eat out on this for years, if Shane was willing to give him that long.

    “It’s not a sex calendar! It’s just … when we might be able to see each other,” he finished, already sounding defeated.

    “And what are you planning on doing when we are seeing each other? Not fucking?”

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    08 Aug 2026

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    i like when we put ilya's deepest thoughts on the table🥲

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya Rozanov is many things—a pain in Shane Hollander’s ass, hockey’s biggest playboy, a better chirper in his second language than most people are in their first, the only player who can challenge Shane for the title of “best of his generation.” But when Shane and Ilya get stuck next to each other on a long-delayed flight to the MLH Awards, Shane realizes something else about him: Ilya Rozanov is hot.

    ***

    Shane and Ilya never hooked up at the CCM shoot. Seven years later, they end up on the same flight from New York City to Las Vegas.

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    09 Aug 2026

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    「His libido is battling his brain. His libido’s winning.」is shane'as motto lol. my boys are two losers who fall in love with their rival in one conversation😭😭

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    “This is just crazy,” J.J. said. “Give me that, Pike, I’ve got one he absolutely can’t pass.”

    “Oh, so you’re saying it’s my fault?” Hayden asked.

    “Skill issue.” J.J. paused. “Ok. Pedro Pascal.” His voice was smug. 

    A long silence stretched while Shane Hollander looked at the camera, seemingly deciding whether it was worth it to lie.

    “No!” J.J. said, horrified. 

    “Pass… I—What?”

    “The entire internet wants to fuck this man!”

    “Okay?!” Shane Hollander said, throwing his arms out. “I don’t know what to tell you!”

    “Jesus Christ, okay.” Hayden shuffled behind the camera. “Ilya Rozanov.”

    A flush bloomed across Shane Hollander’s freckled face, intensifying so fast it looked like his face was on fire. 

    “Uhm.” He pressed his lips together before his shoulders dropped in resignation. “Smash.”

    Or: A clip of Shane Hollander playing smash or pass goes viral and Ilya wants to eat him alive.

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    09 Aug 2026

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    smash smash smash

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane: Is this Ilya Rozanov?
    Unknown number: no
    Shane: Oh, but the dog collar had this number.
    Unknown Number: What? What dog collar? What are you talking about?
    Shane: I'm Shane Hollander.
    Shane: I have your dog.
    Unknown Number: Is this ransom threat?
    Unknown Number: Did you kidnap my dog?

    Language:
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    09 Aug 2026

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    YESSSSSSSS everyone in my country need to read this and retell this fluently to stay