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A one night stand a couple of years ago has Sirius comparing every date to a man he can’t find. That is, until James throws himself an engagement party.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,847
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 80
- Kudos:
- 3,151
- Bookmarks:
- 353
- Hits:
- 27,545
Bookmarked by whirlPoolProductions
09 Oct 2025
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“A 97 percent?” her mother asks, eyes never leaving the page of the exam booklet that she’s studying.
Lily nods, realizes her mother can’t see her, and replies, quietly, “Yes.”
Her mother hums. It’s an uncertain hum, with an undercurrent of disdain. Lily is very good at interpreting her mother’s hums.
“Well, that’s not bad darling.” A pause. Lily waits for what is inevitably coming. “But where did the other 3 percent go?”
OR
In her fifth year at Hogwarts, Lily Evans begins to dissolve. This is a story of hunger, pressure, what it takes to exceed expectations, and what it means to survive them.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 57,112
- Chapters:
- 15/15
- Comments:
- 520
- Kudos:
- 1,344
- Bookmarks:
- 414
- Hits:
- 38,740
Bookmarked by whirlPoolProductions
08 Oct 2025
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Nothing has changed between Dave and Karkat since Karkat came out as gay. Nothing at all. Dave is fine with all of this.
Series
- Part 1 of Because You're My Favourite Movie
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,109
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 65
- Kudos:
- 594
- Bookmarks:
- 65
- Hits:
- 5,686
Bookmarked by whirlPoolProductions
07 Oct 2025
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Never Have I Ever had a crush on Remus Lupin by ilbaritz
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
09 Jun 2022
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"Never Have I Ever had a crush on Remus," Dorcas says mischievously.
Sirius drinks.
Lily drinks.
James drinks.
Marlene drinks.
Mary drinks.
Peter drinks.
Remus gapes, Sirius splutters, everyone laughs. Explanations are in order.Series
- Part 1 of Hogwarts shenanigans
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,009
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 167
- Kudos:
- 5,560
- Bookmarks:
- 866
- Hits:
- 68,921
Bookmarked by whirlPoolProductions
07 Oct 2025
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During a quite frankly ridiculous game of spin the bottle, Lily discovers something about Sirius that ties them together, and also, somehow, seems to make him think she's his psychiatrist. Or: how Lily Evans accidentally became the Marauder's matchmaker.
Bookmarked by whirlPoolProductions
07 Oct 2025
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Pining, Parchment, Plotting, and Pranks by Ellisabelle
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
30 Oct 2019
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“Idea parchment,” James said. He unfolded it and smoothed it out. “You want to get them together, right? That’s why you came to me?”
“Yeah,” Lily huffed, which was ridiculous because he was right, that’s why she came to him. But it was supposed to be her idea, because she wanted to help her dear friend Remus, not James or Sirius. But it was so nice to be able to talk about this with someone, and James looked so pleased and excited.
“Good,” James said. “Good, because they need to get together, they would be so happy and so good together, and Sirius will stop sighing like a lovesick puppy and just snog him instead.”
In which Lily considers changing Houses, James blushes a lot, Sirius is his usual dramatic self, Remus mopes, and Peter knew everything all along.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 12,217
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 8
- Comments:
- 101
- Kudos:
- 4,020
- Bookmarks:
- 961
- Hits:
- 37,831
Bookmarked by whirlPoolProductions
07 Oct 2025
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“Dave,” he starts slowly, voice thick and stuffy. “You are doing such a remarkably poor job of comforting me that I’ve been genuinely stunned out of being upset for a second."
Bookmarked by whirlPoolProductions
07 Oct 2025
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not good
How do you tell your childhood best friend that you like to take it in the ass and bathe in rivers of alien ejaculate? Not, like, in a gay way, but like. In a bisexual way. But not like in the bisexual way where you like dicks and you like vaginas, but more in the bisexual way where you’re happy with whatever’s down there but are now incredibly, incredibly attached to a specific particularly ineffable set of wriggly alien genitals? You know, like, in a way that involves absolutely none of those actual words for the easy digestion of a simple not-a-homosexual?
Bookmarked by whirlPoolProductions
07 Oct 2025
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EB: i don’t know why i have to say this but let me be clear:
EB: furries are not sexy!!Bookmarked by whirlPoolProductions
06 Oct 2025
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“All I’m saying,” Karkat continues, pointedly ignoring Dave’s stupidity, “is that we’re practically – I mean, I know you don’t want – well, you know, we’ve been doing the whole feelings jam thing for a while now, and… and if you’re really so confused by the… other parts, it doesn’t have to be a huge deal to try it!”
Bookmarked by whirlPoolProductions
06 Oct 2025
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just two guys being dudes being moirails and smooching a little by MisPronounce_and_MisAccent
Fandoms: Homestuck
12 Apr 2021
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DAVE: yeah id be down
DAVE: just two guys being dudes being moirails and smooching a little im not opposed
DAVE: if youre cool with that
A few options flit across your mind. The first is picking up the couch cushion next to you and screaming into it for a solid minute. The next is just screaming, sans-pillow. The third is, of course, throwing in the towel and flinging yourself off the meteor, because it is abundantly fucking apparent that you possess an inherent incapability to maintain any simple, good relationship without getting your feelings in a bullshit fucking twist.
You decide to do none of this.
Bookmarked by whirlPoolProductions
06 Oct 2025
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Dave hadn't expected to have to do any superhero shit that afternoon, and he sure as hell hadn't expected some random gray super to show up and help him out when shit got difficult. Who the hell was this guy, and why did they keep running into each other?
Bookmarked by whirlPoolProductions
06 Oct 2025
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"Dave." Karkat won't look at you. "We're both really messed up people."
---
Dave and Karkat run away together, with mixed results.
Bookmarked by whirlPoolProductions
05 Oct 2025
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A Ten Step Plan For Wooing Karkat Vantas, Featuring A Multitude Of Illustrations By Your Esteemed Authors, As Well As Tips For The Aforementioned Wooing by amazingspaceship for leafduds
Fandoms: Homestuck
15 Apr 2018
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Kanaya, because she's a saint, makes you a list.
The list is entitled "A Ten Step Plan For Wooing Karkat Vantas" and features a multitude of illustrations in purple pen.
"So we're doing this," you say. Your mouth threatens to twitch into something dangerously smile-shaped.
"Yes," says Kanaya. "We are making this happen."
"Hell yes."
Bookmarked by whirlPoolProductions
04 Oct 2025
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Dave Strider thought that getting away from Bro would solve all of his problems. Little did he know, the foster care system has other plans in mind, including rooming him with the grumpiest human in existence: Karkat Vantas.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 110,332
- Chapters:
- 30/30
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 502
- Kudos:
- 710
- Bookmarks:
- 99
- Hits:
- 13,819
Bookmarked by whirlPoolProductions
04 Oct 2025
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You find the first note in your locker on Monday morning.
YOU LOOK NICE IN A SUIT. I WAS TOO MUCH OF A COWARD TO TELL YOU IN PERSON BUT I STILL THINK YOU SHOULD KNOW.
It’s scribbled on a piece of notebook paper in all-caps using a gray marker. Your breath catches in your throat as your eyes skim over the words, and you quickly look up and around to see if anyone’s watching you. Barely anyone is even around and none of them are at all interested in you. All these kids are about to be late to first period, you included, but you couldn’t care less. Someone left an anonymous love letter in your locker.
Bookmarked by whirlPoolProductions
04 Oct 2025
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Karkat learns about touch starvation and gets worried about Dave.
Bookmarked by whirlPoolProductions
02 Oct 2025
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Dave Strider's eyes never turned the color of his soulmates. With his rare eye-color, there's next to no chance they simply share an eye color.
One day he meets Karkat Vantas.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,705
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 24
- Kudos:
- 1,099
- Bookmarks:
- 122
- Hits:
- 7,979
Bookmarked by whirlPoolProductions
02 Oct 2025
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Self Sabotage And Other Symptoms Of A Damaged Soul by LandOfMistAndSecrets
Fandoms: Homestuck
20 Mar 2017
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Ok so everyone knows Dave and Dirk had a long amazing talk that presumably ended with Dave asking him for advice on the Being Not Straight stuff. My problem is, Dave also spent three years with his gloriously gay twin sister on a fucking space rock while he was right in the middle of coming to terms with all this stuff. So I wrote this mostly to reconcile the gap I think exists there, with a bunch of other Dave centric stuff thrown in with it.
Bookmarked by whirlPoolProductions
02 Oct 2025
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DAVE: look its like im standing on a soapbox
DAVE: and yall are hovering around me in the town square of some village with so much goddamn dirt on its cobblestones so you know its in both monetary and moral squalor
DAVE: but not for long cause im about to impart godly knowledge on you
DAVE: about troll romance
Series
- Part 1 of troll gay & other concepts
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 44,171
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 247
- Kudos:
- 882
- Bookmarks:
- 152
- Hits:
- 14,675
Bookmarked by whirlPoolProductions
01 Oct 2025