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Jeremy was absolutely never allowed to swear. Ever.
It didn't matter how many times Squip cursed him out, if he said so much as a syllable of a swear word he got his ass beat. Michael,-his best friend since diapers, practically- Jake, and Rich all teased him for it in the beginning, but when they met his dad enough times for the cheery facade to fall away, they stopped.
All four boys sat together in every class, their desks always huddled together. One teacher in particular had a problem with this- and Jeremy, in particular. Her name was Mrs. Grebe (everyone felt bad for her wife, even if they hadn't met her) and she particularly enjoyed sending children home with notes so they could be punished even worse.
It was the first period of the day- math, unfortunately- and Michael had been tossing paper stars at Jeremy's head all period, so he turned around and tossed a paper ball at him- only to be caught by Mrs. Grebe, who looked like Christmas had come early. Michael tried to put the blame on himself, but nothing could stop the lizard-like woman when she started something, so Jeremy found himself with a note stapled to his shirt, and the instruction to "Make sure your parent sees this."
As soon as school was over, Jeremy trudged home, only to see his sole parent (who bore an uncanny resemblance to Keanu Reeves) reading the newspaper at their dinner table. With more force than was necessary, Jeremy yanked the note from his shirt and passed it to Squip, who sighed as they smoothed out the paper.
It read, in sickly yellow marker, the most sassy thing Jeremy had ever received from a teacher.
Dear Parent/Guardian,
Maybe if you showed your child more attention at home, he wouldn't act as much of a fool in class.
Mrs. Grebe
Jeremy looked up, only to see something akin to rage on Squip's face. Fuck, I've done it now, this is how I die. Jeremy thought, backing away slowly from the table.
"Who the hell does she think she is?" Squip glared, and Jeremy breathed and internal sigh of relief. He would live to see another gay, Michael filled day. "Tomorrow, you go and tell her to mind her own damn business before I come up there and beat her ass."
Jeremy was in a state of shock, both at the note and the message he was supposed to pass on.
"Are you sure?"
Squip looked up, his eyebrows furrowed. "Excuse me?"
Jeremy fidgeted under his momdad's gaze, worrying the hem of his shirt. "Well, I mean, I was just making sure you want me to say it like you said it."
"Tell her to mind her own damn business before I come up there and beat her ass."
"But are you su-"
"Jeremy, if I have to repeat it again I'll smack the shit out of you."
"Okay, okay, I've got it."
Jeremy ran upstairs, not to play video games for once, but to practice his lines. After all, his strict, sassy father had just given him permission to curse out his most hated teacher, he wanted to get it right.
"They told me to tell you to mind your own DAMN BUSINESS-" Jeremy stopped, shaking his head. "No, no, that's too loud."
This went on for an hour, and after dinner Jeremy decided to go to bed early, he had a big day tomorrow after all.
When the bus came the following morning, Jeremy was greeted by the usual "HEY ITS JERMEY HE'S ON THE BUS GUYS!" by Michael as he walked down the rows of grey, graffitied seats. Michael was the only friend he had on this bus, so it made things a little weird but Jeremy appreciated the support.
Jeremy sat down next to Michael, and put his head in his hands.
"What's wrong, dude? You look a little sick." Michael asked, concerned.
"Bro, I can't tell you right now, but just know that it's about to go down in Mrs. Grebe's." Jeremy said, attempting to calm down. "Just be there when I get into class, okay?"
"Sure."
After a long bus ride talk about gerbils, pizza, and capitalism, the bus unloaded the teenagers to school. With every step towards his first period class, Jeremy felt more and more anxious.
Mrs. Grebe was there, of course, talking to students as they entered her classroom. She greeted most of them with a "Hi." or a "Good Morning." as soon as she got to Jeremy, though, her eyes narrowed, as did Jeremy's.
"Jeremy."
"Mrs. Grebe."
One look to his left, and Jeremy saw Rich, Jake, and Michael staring back at him, expectant. It was about to go down.
"Did you let a parent read the note?"
Jeremy breathed deep, and turned up the sass. "Yes I did."
"And what," Mrs. Grebe was talking louder, as if to make an example out of Jeremy to the rest of the class. "did they say?"
"They told me to tell you," Jeremy paused for effect, and then it went all to hell. "TO MIND YOUR GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING BUSINESS, BITCH."
The class was in an uproar, and Mrs. Grebe attempted to stop him, but he was on a roll, now, and Jeremy wasn't stopping.
"YOU LITTLE BITCH. LIL DUMB TEACHING BITCH. TWO PLUS TWO NOT KNOWING WHAT THE FUCK IT IS BITCH. CROSS EYED, LONG TITTY NO NIPPLE HAVING ASS BITCH."
In the background, Michael was having a fit, screeching "OOOOOOH HE SAID SHE AINT GOT NO NIPPLES!"
"LIZARD LOOKIN, BUG EYED MOTHERFUCKER." Jeremy went on for several minutes, and wanted to continue but a teacher had heard from outside the classroom and dragged Jeremy to the principal's office, every class that had heard him screaming in their approval.
In the end, Jeremy was suspended for three days, and he wasn't looking forward to seeing his dad when he got picked up.
"Jeremy, I told you to say two curse words, and you said seventy six."
Jeremy was grounded, but it was totally worth it, and he became a school legend, along with Mrs. Grebe, who retired three weeks later. The students had no respect for a woman who had been called a no nipple having lizard looking bitch.