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They Say 3 a.m. is the Hour of the Wicked. They Weren't Wrong, but I Didn't Expect "Wicked" to Mean This.

Summary:

Remember the last time you actually slept before 3 in the morning? Neither does Izuku, thanks to the #alwayslit conversations from the hellhole known as the group chat. Where the pizzas are always b o n e l e s s and the shade constant, Izuku wonders what he's done wrong in his life to deserve the constant salt from the active landfill.

Notes:

Group chats are hilarious, okay?

(See the end of the work for other works inspired by this one.)

Chapter 1: Son, Your Mother and I Would Like a Word With You.

Summary:

A simple family of four discuss rising tensions and concerns between AllMightUpTight and Xx_IAmTheAngelofDeath_xX.

Notes:

KiriShiaLabeoufff as Kirishima Eijiro
DenkMeme as Kaminari Denki
Xx_IAmTheAngelofDeath_xX as Bakugou Katsuki
AllMightUpTight as Midoriya Izuku

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

KiriShiaLabeoufff has entered the chatroom

KiriShiaLabeoufff has added DenkMeme, Xx_IAmTheAngelofDeath_xX, and AllMightUpTight

Xx_IAmTheAngelofDeath_xX: what the fuck is this?

KiriShiaLabeoufff: gm 2 u 2 bro

Xx_IAmTheAngelofDeath_xX: it's 3 in the fucking morning

DenkMeme: dude how old r u? u should know by now our age group dsn't sleep properly

DenkMeme: #teamnosleep

KiriShiaLabeoufff: yea seriously. Real men get no sleep

KiriShiaLabeoufff: #teamnosleep

Xx_IAmTheAngelofDeath_xX: I'm almost proud. You both created two full sentences. Why can't you be this intelligent in class

AllMightUpTight: Same could go to u, Kacchan. It's almost scary not seeing vulgar vocabulary in your sentences

Xx_IAmTheAngelofDeath_xX: okay, who the hell is this dickwad? and once again, what the fuck is this?

KiriShiaLabeoufff: wow how sleep deprived are you rn?

DenkMeme: eijiro, u kno his one-track mind only works in battle :P

KiriShiaLabeoufff: u rite

Xx_IAmTheAngelofDeath_xX: I know where you go to school fuckers. Do expect a can of whoopass sitting on your desks if you don't answer my goddamn questions

KiriShiaLabeoufff: sigh.

KiriShiaLabeoufff: will u do the honors denki

DenkMeme: well son

DenkMeme: when mommies and daddies love each other very much

DenkMeme: they r prone to argue over stupid shit

KiriShiaLabeoufff: sometimes traumatizing their children/child in the process

Xx_IAmTheAngelofDeath_xX: what the hell do I have to do with that shit? and who the fuck is this other scrub?

KiriShiaLabeoufff: well ur mother and I have been concerned over ur situation w/ midoriya

DenkMeme: and we've deduced the obvious sexual tension between u 2

AllMightUpTight: I didn't sign up for this. bye

AllMightUpTight has left the chatroom

Xx_IAmTheAngelofDeath_xX has added AllMightUpTight

Xx_IAmTheAngelofDeath_xX: i'm not done with you yet, bitch

DenkMeme: yea ur ass is grass

KiriShiaLabeoufff: and he's going to mow it

AllMightUpTight: leAVE ME ALONE

DenkMeme: midoriya

DenkMeme: dn't tell me we're cockblocking you and bakugo rn

Xx_IAmTheAngelofDeath_xX: wait

Xx_IAmTheAngelofDeath_xX: you mean

Xx_IAmTheAngelofDeath_xX: this random fucker stalking this chat is deku

AllMightUpTight: I'm just as excited being here as you are kacchan

DenkMeme: ohhhhh

DenkMeme: someone's salty

KiriShiaLabeoufff: it's 3 a.m. babe

KiriShiaLabeoufff: unless u have dean and sam w/ you, it's basically a death wish not having salt

DenkMeme: the only protection I need at 3 am is jesus

KiriShiaLabeoufff: that's not wut u said last night ;)

Xx_IAmTheAngelofDeath_xX: heLLO I AM STILL HERE

KiriShiaLabeoufff: that's wut I mean son

KiriShiaLabeoufff: there's a fine line between listening to

KiriShiaLabeoufff: wut's in our heads and in our pants

KiriShiaLabeoufff: that we as men must take seriously

KiriShiaLabeoufff: so that we can avoid situations similar to urs and midoriyas

AllMightUpTight: we don't know what ur talking about

Xx_IAmTheAngelofDeath_xX: you fuckers

Xx_IAmTheAngelofDeath_xX: there is nothing going on between us

Xx_IAmTheAngelofDeath_xX: AND STOP SPEAKING FOR ME SHITTY DEKU

Xx_IAmTheAngelofDeath_xX: plus, what idiot makes a stupid username like that

AllMightUpTight: I don't know kacchan

AllMightUpTight: did you ask a twelve year old to come up with yours?

AllMightUpTight: maybe you should stop hooking up with them on Roblox before you get arrested for pedophilic actions

KiriShiaLabeoufff: daaaaaaamn midoriyas got balls

DenkMeme: who are u and wut have u done w/ my son?

Xx_IAmTheAngelofDeath_xX: OI, YOU ASKIN FOR A FIGHT

KiriShiaLabeoufff: yea a wand fight

AllMightUpTight: I'm asking for some peace and quiet so I can sleep

AllMightUpTight: SOme of us want to do well on our hero exercises tomorrow

DenkMeme: wow. My baby boy can be kind of scary without his sleep

Xx_IAmTheAngelofDeath_xX: WHO THE FUCK AM I TO YOU?

KiriShiaLabeoufff: now you've done it babe. you've upset the emo of the family

DenkMeme: when aren't they upset bby

KiriShiaLabeoufff: oh shit

DenkMeme: wut

KiriShiaLabeoufff: the one time I give my other son attention, it's to something I don't want to c

DenkMeme: oh yea a test. good thing a little electricity can wake up the brain

AllMightUpTight: I'm pretty sure that's the equivalent of taking steroids

DenkMeme: I brought u into this world and I will just as easily take u out of it

Xx_IAmTheAngelofDeath_xX: Oh yeah. Haven't heard that one before

KiriShiaLabeoufff: Don't sass your mother you heathens

AllMightUpTight: wouldn't be the first time you were called that, huh, Kacchan?

KiriShiaLabeoufff: not to kink shame or anything, but u guys have got some weird ass pet names

DenkMeme: unless that's a safe word

Xx_IAmTheAngelofDeath_xX: It's almost 4 in the morning. I am going to fucking sleep.

KiriShiaLabeoufff: don't forget to kiss midoriya gn wherever ur at

DenkMeme: probs in his bed but it's meh peace

AllMightUpTight: I'm blocking all of you :)

KiriShiaLabeoufff, DenkMeme, AllMightUpTight, and XxIAmTheAngelofDeath have left the chatroom

KiriShiaLabeoufff has entered the chatroom

KiriShiaLabeoufff: https://youtu.be/ra9iqpbP7os

KiriShiaLabeoufff: :)

Notes:

Hey guys. As you've probably noticed, this is my first work of writing on this website. If you all are interested in this so far, I will continue to post content on it. I hope you found this chapter amusing and will continue to do so for future chapters. Always remember to have your salt at 3 a.m.