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Derek finishes the last line of the novel and just sits there. He isn’t sure what to think or feel. He flips to the next page to see if it was maybe some sort of joke. Instead of a typed alternate ending, he finds a penned message.
RIGHT?! Worst ending ever, huh?
Look, I’m putting my phone number in here because I desperately need someone to help process all the feels I’m currently having. I’m doing this because I know you’ve read this book, so you must have some of the same feels. I would hope so anyway. Why am I resorting to pleading with a complete stranger to text me? BECAUSE THERE IS NO FANDOM FOR THIS BOOK! Believe me, I’ve checked. Plus none of my friends will read it because they saw how I reacted to the ending. So, I literally have nowhere else to turn.
Scrawled at the bottom, is the local area code followed by seven other numbers. Derek stares at the page, and then he reads through the message again. This has to be some sort of joke. What kind of idiot would put their phone number out there in the world for any stranger to call? Then again… Derek’s eyes catch on the words “all the feels” and knows that that’s what he has.
Hello?
Why the question mark?
Who is this?
I found your number in a book…
OH GOD!
THANK YOU!
CAN WE JUST!
I’m sorry?
YOU’RE SORRY? WHY ARE YOU SORRY?
Why are you shouting?
BECAUSE
Sorry. I’ve just had the feels for a long time now.
You’re the first person to actually text about the book.
I didn’t mean to yell at you.
Well. I did, but I thought you were one of us, so I figured yelling would work out.
‘one of us’?
Oh god. Nevermind.
…I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel right now…
Because I was yelling at you?
No. Because of this damn book.
RIGHT?!
ALL THE FEELS.
It’s been almost a year too.
Instant tears.
I just finished it and thought the ending was a joke.
SAME!
I did not see the whole Josephina thing coming.
Totally called Raymond/Kevin though.
How did you not see the Josephina thing?
It was so obvious.
They text back and forth about the book. Eventually, the conversation moves to other books and movies and shows and music. They don’t share much personal information, just that they are both guys studying at UC Berkeley. Derek doesn’t fall asleep until nearly four in the morning.
#
“Yo! What’s up?”
“God, you’re loud.” Stiles says as he slumps down deeper into his chair. They have a few minutes before their linguistics class on language acquisition begins.
“Are you having one of your ‘reading-hangovers’ again? Because, dude, you knew you had class at eight this morning. You aren’t allowed to start a new book on Wednesday nights; it never works out.” Scott’s voice is still loud as he lectures Stiles.
“Wasn’t reading.”
“What were you doing then?”
Stiles sits up to look at his best friend. “You remember that one book?”
“You read, like, five books a week, Stiles.”
“Yeah, but that one that was like the worst book? I complained about it for weeks. I think you might’ve punched me over this one…or was that Twilight?”
“I definitely punched you for Twilight.”
“Fair. But anyway. This one, I read it like a year ago and it was just like the absolute shittiest ending and I despised it for a while, but I still talked about it because I had to process it.”
“Oh yeah. I remember that. God, you were obnoxious.”
“Did I ever tell you that I put my number in the back of it?”
“Oh my god.”
“So this guy texted me last night, and he was reacting the exact same way because he had just finished it and couldn’t process. We talked until four. We’ll probably never talk again. It was basically the literary equivalent to a one night stand.”
Their professor begins his lecture before Scott can comment on how much of a loser he thinks Stiles is.
By the time class is done, Scott’s forgotten about their earlier conversation. They move together to find Kira to grab some lunch before Kira and Stiles’ Victorian literature class.
“Think Grumpy Gorgeousface will be here today?” Stiles asks as they’re their tossing out their trash. This is one of his favorite classes of the semester, and his days are made slightly better when Mr. Eye Candy is present.
“Oh my god. Kira, will you please find out this kid’s name? I’m tired of hearing about him all the time. You should find out if he’s even into guys too, just to be thorough,” Scott says.
“Why do I have to?”
“Because Stiles is too chicken-shit to do it himself, and I’m not in your class.”
“Shut up, Scott. I don’t talk about him that much. I talk about him a healthy amount, in reference to this class.” They both laugh at him for that. Stiles sulks and moves away from them as they say their heartfelt goodbyes to one another.
Kira nor Stiles mention Grumpy Gorgeousface again as they make their way to class; Kira does smirk at him though when he doesn’t show. Stiles totally doesn’t mope throughout class; really, he doesn’t.
#
Derek decides to skip his two afternoon classes in favor of a nap. The noise of voices and banging pans rouses him after a couple hours of peace. He ventures out of his bedroom to find his roommate and her best friend in the kitchen. Lydia’s rooting around in the pantry, and Danny’s perched on the counter looking at his phone.
“What are you looking for?”
“Ingredients.” Danny answers without moving his eyes from the small screen.
“Our boys are turning twenty-three tomorrow, so we’re making them a cake.” Lydia explains as she pulls various items out of the cupboard. “Since they are huge chocolate fans, Danny found a recipe for a deep dark chocolate cake.”
“Sounds delicious. I’ll be back later, don’t burn the apartment down while I’m gone.”
“I’m supervising, don’t worry,” Danny says with a dimpled grin pointed at him.
Derek takes that as reassurance and turns back to his room to fetch the book he needs to return. As he walks to the library, he wonders if the next person who checks it out will respond to the message in the back. Part of him wants to rip the page out so that no one will. But he doesn’t, he lets it go back into the system, scrawled message and all.
He briefly considers sending a text to the guy asking for a recommendation, but doesn’t want to seem bothersome. Or like he’s in desperate need of communication. Instead, he moves to his favorite section and starts scanning the shelves. Eventually, he finds something that seems interesting.
He makes it about halfway through the book before caving in; he wants to know if the guy’s read it yet and what he thinks.
Of course I have.
Honestly, I’ve read pretty much everything.
And all the fan-fiction of the good stuff.
Which I probably didn’t need to share. Seeing as you’re not one of us.
What does that even mean?
Don’t worry about it.
So. Where’re you at? Has Crenshaw found out about the dungeon yet?
Nope.
Oh. Sorry.
Perkins just found the intruder.
Oh man! That is such a suspenseful part! Why are you talking to me? You should be reading.
Derek’s phone is only idle for two and a half pages.
#
Hey!
What do the letter T and an island have in common?
I don’t know, what?
You don’t have any guesses?
Not even one?
Nope.
Lame.
Tell me the answer.
The suspense is killing me.
I don’t just give punch-lines away. You have to work for it.
“You can’t keep calling him a one night stand if you continue to text him. Every single day. For over a week,” Scott’s saying as Stiles types out the last message.
“Well I don’t know his name, so,” Stiles says with a shrug. “What else am I supposed to call him? My literary soul-mate?”
“Awe. Yeah, that’s cute,” Kira tells him from where she’s lying on Scott’s bed. The three of them are hanging out in Scott’s dorm before heading out to a party for the night.
What’s the answer?
Guess something.
I could just Google it…
But you wouldn’t.
“Why haven’t you asked his name yet?” Scott asks him while pulling a couple shirt options from his closet.
“Because anonymity is a thing. No, not that one” Stiles says, making a face at the burnt ochre shirt. “Why do you even own anything in that color?”
“Whatever, dude.” Scott makes a face back. “What do you even text him about? He can’t possibly read as much as you do.”
“We talk about all kinds of things–” The phone buzzes in his hand distracts him.
Tell meeeeee.
What’s the magic word?
“Oh my god. You are so gone on this guy.” Scott’s voice pulls him back into the room.
“Leave him alone,” Kira says. “Stiles, you should see if he’ll be at the party tonight. Maybe you’ll get to meet him…”
A tree?
I don’t know.
Nope!
Good guess though.
Can I have the answer now?
If you ask nicely.
Please?
“Stiles!”
“What, Scott? You don’t have to yell; I’m right here.”
“I do when you’re not paying attention. Kira said your name like four times.”
“Sorry.” Stiles sheepishly looks at Kira. “What’s up?”
“You should invite him to the party,” she tells him, nodding at the phone that’s buzzing in his hand.
“And also ask his name because it’s weird that you don’t know it.”
“You’re weird. And no, it’s only been a week,” Stiles responds. “There’s no need to freak him out.”
Come on.
I said please.
Fine. Pretty please?
Pretty please with a cherry on top?
I don’t like cherries.
But sorry, the please was enough. My best friend’s girlfriend was distracting me. They’re both being annoying and intrusive.
…
What?
What is the answer????
Oh yeah!
They’re both in the middle of water!
I’m not sure that was worth the wait.
Whatever. That joke is gold.
Well, actually it’s more of a riddle.
Here’s a joke…are you ready?
Hit me.
“Stiles, come on!” Scott’s standing in front of him about to whack him with a foam finger. “We’re ready to go!”
“Alright, geez.” He scrambles up out of the beanbag chair to follow the other two out of the room.
“Are you going to be texting him all night?”
“Maybe…”
Again with the suspense.
Sorry! Best friend again.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
To.
To who?
It’s to whom, you illiterate fool!
Ha. Just kidding.
I have a better one…
Is it really better?
My friend recently got crushed by a pile of books…
He’s only got his shelf to blame.
Oh, we’re doing puns now?
Okay…
What does a nosy pepper do?
Make you sneeze?
It gets jalapeño business.
Hahahahaha.
That was a great one.
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese.
There were two muffins in an oven...
No.
That was my sister’s favorite joke for years.
Because it’s funny.
Okay. My best friend keeps poking me.
He says I need to put my phone away.
I’ll leave you with this: Seven days without a pun makes one weak.
#
“Okay. What is going on with you?” Lydia asks as she falls down next to Derek on their couch. “You used to be the guy that would constantly forget to grab his phone before leaving. Did you get a boyfriend and not tell me?”
“No.”
“Oh really? So, if I were to look in your phone there wouldn’t be a string of messages to a boy?”
“That doesn’t mean I have a boyfriend. It means I have a friend, who happens to be male.”
“You don’t make friends. Your surly face makes sure of that,” she tells him with a grin, softening her words.
“He hasn’t seen my face, so its surliness hasn’t ruined anything yet.”
“Is this some sort of online dating thing? Derek, you know how dangerous that can be! Give me his name, I’ll have Danny look a few things up to make sure this guy isn’t planning on killing you or something.”
“He’s not going to kill me – his dad is a cop. It’s not any sort of online dating, and I don’t have his name.”
“How do you not know his name?”
“It hasn’t come up?”
“You know his father’s occupation, but not the guy’s name. How?”
“We text?” Derek shrugs. “We started talking because there was this book, this terrible horrible book, and he left his number in the back of it because he wanted to talk to someone about how terrible and horrible it was.”
“That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. Then again, this is you.” She grins again. “So, what else do you know about him? What does he know about you?”
“We’ve talked about our majors, his is English; our ages, he’s twenty-two; our mutual appreciation of both genders.”
“Well, shit. Why aren’t you dating him?”
#
The following week Stiles makes sure his phone is on silent before sliding it back into his pocket before class. Kira’s sick, so he has to make sure his notes are at least somewhat legible today. It shouldn’t be too hard; he’s read David Copperfield a couple times now, so taking notes on it is cake. If there’s something Kira doesn’t get he can easily walk her through it like he did for the last book, even though she was in class every day.
He’s bent over pulling his battered copy of the novel from his bag when he hears someone clear his throat. Stiles looks up to find Grumpy Gorgeousface frowning down at him while he shifts from foot to foot in the middle of the aisle.
“Oh! Sorry, man!” He scrambles upright and kicks his bag out of the way to allow the man to pass; which he does, silently. They’ve been in class for almost two months now, and Stiles has heard the guy say around five words. Unlike Stiles, who takes part in nearly every discussion.
This time, one of his comments defending Steerforth’s actions spurs on a rousing debate with some other students. He has fun instigating them, something Professor Baccari has clearly noticed; she curbs the debate after a few minutes after shooting a stern look at Stiles. He takes that as his cue to shut up for the rest of the time.
Near the end of class someone on the other side of the room asks about when the midterm will be. Stiles jots down the date and a couple tips Baccari offers before she continues on.
“She said Friday, right?”
Stiles freezes. Grumpy Gorgeousface is talking to him. Stiles just bobs his head in something resembling a nod in response. He’s sure he looks like a complete idiot.
Baccari wraps up soon after that. The moment she calls it a day Grumpy Gorgeousface is already packed up and moving down the aisle; Stiles hasn’t even recapped his pen. He watches him until the leather of his jacket is no longer in sight.
Stiles sighs and pulls out his phone to lament to Kira about missing a chance to talk to the gorgeous grump and to let her know when the midterm will be. He gets distracted by the alert that he has fifteen unread messages from the contact saved Mate of the Literary Soul.
This is the most boring class ever.
Why am I here?
The professor is my sister’s best friend so I skip class a lot.
It’s so pointless to come because attendance doesn’t matter and I know the material.
But there’s this guy that sits in front of me.
He might be the reason why I’m here…
And maybe why I show up as often as I do.
God. His voice.
Seriously. The things I would do to him.
I’m not sure why I’m telling you this.
Maybe because you’re not answering.
Or because I don’t know you, so you can’t use this against me.
I just asked him a question………
………he didn’t even look at me to answer.
He probably thinks I’m an idiot.
Oh I will definitely use this against you one day.
Is the guy hot?
Stiles shoots the messages off without hesitating. Scott still thinks it’s weird that they haven’t exchanged names, but whatever. That reminds him, he was going to text Kira. He doesn’t hear back from either one of them while he heads back to his dorm.
He grabs a book from one of the stacks on the shelf above his bed before heading back out. By the time he makes it to his favorite reading spot, the upper room of the library, his phone has gone off twice.
So hot.
But not in the traditional way…
Because that makes sense.
Whatever. It does.
His voice sounds like sex.
Does he know?
That he’s the reason you get up in the morning?
God. Shut up.
You’re the one who started it.
Does he?
Did you miss the text where he thinks I’m an idiot?
That sounded like your assumption.
He doesn’t know.
Probably never will.
That’s depressing.
It’s life.
That’s even more depressing. Wow.
Why is this your mentality?
Are you butt-ugly?
Wouldn’t you like to know...
Stiles drops his phone to the couch beside him. That’s the closest they’ve come to outright flirting, and it’s while they’re talking about some other guy. Some other guy who apparently has the sexiest voice ever. Not that Stiles cares. Nor does he care about superficial things like looks… His phone lights up.
I’m not.
Someone’s conceited.
But if you really aren’t ugly, why wouldn’t you talk to him?
Bad past experiences.
Oh yes. The past can hurt. But from the way I see it, you can either run from it or…
Learn from it.
I don’t need life lessons from a monkey, thanks.
Idk, man. Rafiki was pretty wise. Simba turned out alright after listening to him.
He became the king of all lions.
#
Derek stands against a wall uncomfortably as people mingle around him. These things are never fun. He should’ve just made up an excuse on why he couldn’t make it.
His phone vibrates in his pocket; he knows Laura will threaten to punch him for being rude if she catches him with his phone out, but he risks it anyway.
Don’t you just love the smell of books?
I mean, reading online or an e-book can be convenient, but nothing beats that new book smell.
Can you think of an excuse?
Your girlfriend just went into labor.
I don’t think that will work.
Fine.
What kind of excuse are you looking for?
I’m at a party and want to be anywhere else.
What kind of party is it?
Maybe Studly McSexyVoice will turn up?
I doubt it. It’s a dinner party with only my sister’s friends.
I’m fairly certain they don’t know each other.
Shit.
What?
Did he show up?
Are you going to try and woo him?
“I swear to god, Derek, if you are playing that stupid bird game–”
Derek slides his phone back into his pocket and turns to face his sister. “I wasn’t. I was texting a friend.”
Laura squints her eyes at him for a moment before reaching out to swipe his phone. He only lets her because they’re in public, and he doesn’t want to attract everyone’s attention for wrestling his phone back. “‘The Novelator’ wants to know what’s happening, and I want to know who ‘The Novelator’ is and why texting him is more important than my party. Also, who is ‘Studly McSexyVoice’?”
“God. Can you not?”
“Spill or I’m going to steal this number and send all your embarrassing baby pictures to it.”
“He’s a friend I made through our mutual dislike for a particular book,” Derek says, hoping the short version will suffice for her. She just stares at him in return, waiting for him to finish. “The other one, which he named by the way, is an attractive guy…from one of my classes.”
Laura’s smirk tells him that his hesitation gave him away. She’s handing his phone back and spinning away in the next instant before he can even attempt to stop her.
#
A knock on his door distracts him from the way MofLS isn’t answering.
“Yo!” Scott greets once Stiles pulls open the door. “Can I hang out here for a while? Danny’s got Ethan over, and Kira’s down at her parent’s for the night.”
“Glad to know I’m your third choice, buddy.”
“Shut up, you know you’re my one and only,” Scott assures him with a large grin. “So, did you have any big plans for this fine Sunday night?”
“Just a new book.”
“Want to watch a movie or play some video games instead?”
His phone buzzes, so he picks up while Scott finishes talking. “Sure, pick something out. He left me hanging mid-conversation. The guy he has a crush on might’ve just shown up at his sister’s party.”
I hate you.
WHAT?
WHY?
Thanks to you, my sister now knows about the guy in my class.
Which means her best friend will know any minute now.
Which means my life is going to be ruined in that class.
Hahahaha.
Sorry.
Sorta.
Scott asks why he’s laughing, so he relays the whole story. Scott just stares at him when he’s done, then surprises him by giving him a serious look and asking, “Think you’ll ever meet him?”
“I don’t know…”
“You know I just want you to be happy, right? I don’t care if it’s with Grumpy Gorgeousface or Mate of your Literary Soul or even Lydia’s crabby roommate she’s always talking about. I just want my best friend happy. Which is why I keep giving you a hard time for not putting the moves on.”
“Really? ‘Putting the moves on’ that’s the phrase you’re going with?”
“Shut up.” Scott shoves at Stiles’ arm. “You know what I mean. If you’re truly happy with just your books and friends, that’s cool, but I just want you to have everything, dude.”
“Man, you’re going to make me cry.”
Scott rolls his eyes. “I’m being serious.”
“So am I,” Stiles says with an exaggerated sniffle. “For real though, thanks.”
#
“I’ll explain further once you all get in groups of four or five with the people sitting around you.”
Derek glares at Julia from his seat in the corner of the room the following Tuesday. He should’ve just skipped class. He knew this was going to happen. Julia had avoided him at the party after Laura had disappeared.
“Hey,” the tiny Asian girl beside the guy – Studly McSexyVoice his mind supplies – is smiling at him. “You okay working with us?”
“Sure.”
“I’m Kira, that’s Oliver and Stiles.”
“Derek.”
“Okay…” Studly Mc Stiles starts, “So she said we could pick any of the novels we’ve read so far, I’m thinking most people are going to go with Jane Eyre which is why I’m leaning toward The Tenant of Wildfell Hall.”
“I’m good with whatever,” Oliver answers.
“That was a good one,” Kira says with a nod.
All three of them turn to Derek. He had actually hated that one the most of all the novels Julia had chosen for the class. He doesn’t want to start anything, though, so he nods his own agreement. Stiles’ eyes stay on him a bit longer than the other two.
“Derek, Oliver, could I get your numbers? I have Stiles’ so I’ll just send out a group text so we can chat that way,” Kira says.
Julia calls the class back to attention while Oliver is typing into Kira’s phone, so Derek just writes his number on a piece of paper before sliding it over to the girl.
He leaves quickly after class, just like always, to make it all the way across campus to his next class. It’s not until after that one that he thinks to save his group members’ phone numbers. He pulls out his phone, opens the message Kira sent earlier, and sees that one of the numbers is already saved.
#
“Kira. Kira. Kira. Whatthefuckisthis? OhmygodKiraKira!” Stiles grabs her arm with one hand while he waves his phone in her face with the other. The two of them were headed to out of class when Stiles had dug his phone from his bag.
“What?”
“ThegrouptextKira. Ohmygod.”
“What about it?”
Stiles flails a bit more. “Look at my phone!”
She takes the device from him and scans over the screen. “Holy shit.”
“What do I do? Oh my god. Wait! Is it Oliver or Grumpy Gorgeousface? It’s Oliver, isn’t it?” Stiles takes his phone from Kira while she pulls her backpack around to pull her own cell phone out.
“Which number do you not have saved?” She asks. He looks down at the screen and rattles off the numbers. “Holy shit,” she says again.
“What?!”
“It’s Derek.”
#
So.
So I’m Studly McSexyVoice?
I’ve never called you that.
Doesn’t mean it isn’t true.
Most people want me to shut up, especially in that class.
But not you.
You think I’m sexxxxxxy.
Why do I like you?
Because we’re mates of the literary souls.
Now…I seem to remember you mentioning something about the things you would do to me…