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Let It Burn So Bright

Summary:

Upon returning from his cut-short tour and reuniting with his family, he felt the happiest he had been in weeks: finally home. And nothing could change that, not even the fire brigade’s clanging bells as it rushed past, or the frantic yells of the firemen. Until –

“It's coming from the Barnum Museum!”

His world shattered.

Notes:

Greetings all! I’m new to AO3, this is my first fan fiction and what better way to start than making myself cry by doing a study of that scene
Reviews are greatly appreciated, I’m new to this rodeo and need all the tips I can get!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: All The Stars We Steal from the Night Sky

Chapter Text

• Phineas •

Phineas Taylor Barnum considered himself a straightforward man. He approached problems logically and carefully - but always retained that spark of passion that brought his many ideas to life. Upon returning from his cut-short tour and reuniting with his family, he felt the happiest he had been in weeks: finally home. And nothing could change that, not even the fire brigade’s clanging bells as it rushed past, or the frantic yells of the firemen. Until –

“It's coming from the Barnum Museum!”

His world shattered.

 

• Anne •

She was standing outside the building, catching a breath of fresh air after the show, when she heard it. Yelling. Screams. The crackling, popping, roaring of... Anne whipped around, frantically scanning the building. Saw her friends, saw her family streaming out of the open doors. Saw glowing flames licking the window frames, and black smoke filling the night sky.

Fire.

Her world shattered.

 

• Phillip •

He stared in horror, unable to comprehend the sight before him. The circus which he had despised and shamed, the circus which he had to come to respect and even admire, the circus which he joined, he helped run – the circus that was his home. Collapsing in a hellish blaze. Turning to face his friends, he counted each soot streaked face; ensuring everyone was safe. Lettie. Charles. W.D. Anne?

“Where’s Anne?” he cried, panicked. “Has anyone seen Anne?”

The crowd muttered between themselves, calling for the missing trapeze artist. She did not appear. Not wanting to believe himself, Phillip slowly turned to face the burning circus.

She was still in there.

His world shattered.

 

• Anne •

She sprinted towards the blaze, shawl wrapped tight around her shoulders. Feet pounding on the cobblestones. Eyes wide with terror and brimming with tears.

“Anne!”

“W.D! What is – why-” she choked, barely able to form a sentence in her panic. “Where’s Phillip?”

He hung his head.

“We couldn’t find you. He...”

Realisation dawned.

“No. NO!” she howled. “PHILLIP!” Tears fell freely as she wept.

Her world was in flames.

 

• Phillip •

He sprinted through flames. Eyes stinging from the heat, he screamed.

“Anne! ANNE!”

But Anne was nowhere to be found.
Coughing, Phillip shielded his face from the heat as he pressed on, further into the inferno. Soot and smoke swirled around him, enveloping him. Choking him. Seats and props lay in disarray, reduced to scorched skeletons of wood. Oh, how he wished for Anne to appear. For her warm eyes to colour this black and red world, for her smile to light up the cold night. Frantically he searched, on and on. For just a tell-tale glimpse of her violet leotard amongst the rubble. Still nothing. The building rumbled, the very foundations destroyed by the blaze. Phillip glanced up, hoping to see her swinging on a trapeze across the stage as they had once done together. Instead he saw the open sky, saw the lonely white moon staring back at him, as the roof crashed down around him.

His world was in flames.

 

• Phineas •

P.T. Barnum watched as his apprentice ran into the circus to save his lover. Watched as she ran up behind them. Watched as his family cried as their home burned. As his friend was trapped inside that burning home.
P.T. Barnum watched as his own feet carried him towards the blaze, barely recognized his own voice as he screamed for Phillip. He sprinted towards the stage, on which the fallen roof lay in pieces, burning viciously. Like a bonfire.

Or a funeral pyre.

Barely able to contain a sob, he stumbled to his knees in front of the debris and begin to desperately scrape away stone and flaming wood. Searching. Searching. Searching. Then-

“Phillip!”

The man lay twisted on the stage, crushed by planks of wood from the burnt rafters. A trickle of blood ran down his ash coated face. His eyes were closed. 

His world was in flames.

 

• Anne •

She hugged her brother tighter as she stared at the entrance to the circus, silently willing Phillip and Barnum to emerge, safe and sound. They didn’t. Sooty tears slipped down her face as she stared into the blaze. Hoping.

And then a hazy figure. Stumbling out, through the burning doors. Barnum! And in his arms...

And just like that, her world crumbled all over again.

 

• Phineas •

He stumbled out of his circus, Phillip held in his arms. The man was unconscious, having long ago succumbed to the heat and pain. By God he just hoped he wasn’t too late. Phineas limped towards the gathered crowd and carefully placed Phillip on the ground, wincing as he was able to take in the man’s injuries for the first time. Bloodied gashes littered his torso, his shirt and trousers were torn and stained, his face and arms were covered in bruises, and he appeared to have at least three broken ribs. Flooded with terror, he quickly checked Phillip’s breathing. It was there – barely. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Anne Wheeler sobbing into her brother’s chest as he held her, staring morosely at the apprentice's mutilated body.
P.T. Barnum sat back and watched numbly as fireman came and lifted Phillip onto a stretcher, watched as they carried him away hastily, watched as his performers wept and his circus burnt.

As his world crumbled.

I am not a stranger to the dark.
Hide away, they say,
'cause we don't want your broken parts.

Chapter 2: It's Not a Secret I Try to Hide

Summary:

He sat, dirty faced and panting, on the steps of his circus; all that remained from 3 nights ago. 3 days of sifting through rubble, shifting stone and dragging planks. 3 days of loneliness. Of enduring the stares, whispers, glares from passers by. Of having to watch the faces of his performers, friends, his family as they staggered through the remains of their one, real home. Knowing that somewhere in a stark, cold hospital ward, his apprentice lay comatose in a bed as a trapeze artist wept beside him.

Notes:

I have too many damn feelings about these characters

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

• Phineas •

He sat, dirty faced and panting, on the steps of his circus; all that remained from 3 nights ago. 3 days of sifting through rubble, shifting stone and dragging planks. 3 days of loneliness. Of enduring the stares, whispers, glares from passers by. Of having to watch the faces of his performers, friends, his family as they staggered through the remains of their one, real home. Knowing that somewhere in a stark, cold hospital ward, his apprentice lay comatose in a bed as a trapeze artist wept beside him.

 

• Anne •

Anne sang to him. She sang of the circus; of her friends within it; of their love, as he had sung to her so long ago on that stage. Icy glares from the nurses would have once silenced her, but she cared what they thought no longer. Phillip had nearly died in a circus he didn’t belong in, working with people he was forbidden from mixing with, loving a freak hated by the very world he came from. As fresh tears brimmed in her eyes, she gripped his hand tighter.

“When the sharpest words wanna cut me down..”

“I’m gonna send a flood, gonna drown ‘em out..”

“I am brave.. I am bruised.. I am who I’m meant to be.”

She hung her head.

“This is me.”

Phillip’s fingers might have twitched, for even just a fleeting moment. Eyes wide, Anne leant forward, not daring to believe herself.

“Phillip?”

But the moment passed. He was still. And the trapeze artist wept beside the showman’s apprentice.

 

• Phillip •

Darkness. All he knew. Darkness. And then, slowly but surely. Light.

“What if we.. rewrite.. the stars...”

A shaky breath.

“Say you were.. made to be mine...”

Another.

“Nothing could... keep us apart...”

“You’d be the one... I was meant.. to find.”

Anne.

He fought through that darkness. He opened his eyes and there she was. Her fascinatingly onyx eyes gazed down at him in shock, tears of crystalline transparency streaming down her face. And her face: wonderfully strong yet fragile with emotion, coloured with stunning shades of brown. Twisting locks of mahogany tumbled down her back, and a simple woollen shawl rested upon her shoulders. His rough, calloused hand was clasped in her delicate fingers. In that moment, she had never looked more beautiful.

“You’re here,” he rasped. Anne's wet eyes sparkled as she gripped his bandaged hand tighter.

Then she kissed him.

It's up to you, and it’s up to me - no one can say what we get to be.

Why don’t we rewrite the stars? Maybe the world can be ours.

Tonight.

Notes:

I love these two more than I love myself honestly
Short chapter but wanted to put this on for iDragonSpyro - they requested this scene and I already had it deep in the depths of my computer memory, so now seemed the perfect time to whip it out! Hope you like it :)

Chapter 3: But When I Stop and See You Here

Summary:

She heard her friends before she saw them. Charles' roaring laughter, Lettie’s shouts of joy, even W.D chuckling. As they trouped through the doors of the hospital wing, in all their radiant colour, grinning wider than Cheshire cats, it was hard to believe that 5 nights ago, they had emerged from their flaming home, coughing from smoke and tearful in mourning.

Notes:

Ok so the movie didn’t show the circus coming to visit Philip but I’ll be damned if every single one of them didn’t parade in to say hi at some point
So I’m gonna write it now oh boy

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

• Anne •

She heard her friends before she saw them. Charles' roaring laughter, Lettie’s shouts of joy, even W.D chuckling. As they trouped through the doors of the hospital wing, in all their radiant colour, grinning wider than Cheshire cats, it was hard to believe that 5 nights ago, they had emerged from their flaming home, coughing from smoke and tearful in mourning.

Charles appeared to have made one of his famously outrageous jokes, and the cluster of performers paraded down the room, seeming completely oblivious to the dirty looks and shocked stares provided by the nurses and patients alike. Except two. Anne sat at the end of the ward, smiling softly as the boisterous troupe, led by Lettie, made its way towards them.

 

• Phillip •

Phillip lay propped up in bed, smirking at his friends' excited faces. Although still hurt, he was recovering fast, and had asked Anne if he could see his friends. The entire circus coming wasn’t exactly what he had expected, but he appreciated the gesture.

“PHILLIP!” That was Lettie.

“Still short Carlyle?” Charles, of course.

“Philip,” declared W.D, “I was wrong about you. As soon as you realised my sister might still be in that building, you ran in without a moment of hesitation to save her. And for that, I am grateful. That being said, if you break her heart, I will break your legs.”

Charles snorted from the foot of the bed. Anne beamed at her brother, then turned to Phillip, who was only feeling ever so slightly terrified.

“I’m glad you guys could all come – how did you even get in?” he inquired.

“Oh, yeah, about that...” Lettie trailed off, as a band of doctors and receptionists burst through the doors and strode towards the group.

“Excuse me sir, are these freaks,” the leader spat, glaring at the now silent group, “bothering you?”

The room grew quiet. All eyes turned to Phillip.

He spoke calmly and firmly. “No, my friends here were just visiting me. Unless your policies change so rapidly you no longer allow visitors?”

The man appeared undeterred. “Yes, visitors meaning decent folk, not.. these things.

The circus troupe seemed to shrink even smaller, humiliated and afraid. Phillip remained still, but a furious fire burned in his eyes.

These things are some of the kindest, brightest, most unique people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. I'd say that's decent. As for you sir, I suggest you back off. Now.”

The doctor wavered, then, glaring at the gathered ‘freaks’ a final time, he spun on his heel and lead his posse out of the ward. The room was quiet once more.

Lettie sniffled. “Did you mean that?”

“Mean what? Of course I did! You guys are my friends - you're not freaks, you’re human beings, and no one has any right to treat you like anything less than one,” he replied.

His friends remained silent. Then Anne kissed him again.

“I love you Phillip Carlyle, and don’t you ever forget it,” she breathed.

He grinned, a blush rising in his cheeks. Charles whooped in the background somewhere.

“Finally! All those pining glances had been killing me!”

Then the troupe dissolved into laughter, chattering like nothing had happened at all, and making love hearts with their hands aimed at Anne and Phillip.

He smiled. Who needed fame and fortune when you had the greatest show on earth, and the greatest friends a man could ask for?

It's everything you ever want,

it's everything you ever need.

And it’s here right in front of you,

this is where you wanna be.

Notes:

I needed something happier for a change also Charles is underappreciated so more of him

Chapter 4: You Think It's Easy

Summary:

They had danced and drunk, and forgiven him. But it just didn’t feel right.

Notes:

Ok so I went and saw the movie a second time because I l o v e it and I’ve been inspired to write even more chapters?? This one is set after the scene where Phillip decides to put his remaining money into restarting the circus, but before the final scene – basically the rebuilding of the circus and their family
Who’s ready for a feels fest? ;););););)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

• Phineas •

He didn’t believe them. Not for a second. After everything he’d done, they just forgave him. Snap, and months of neglection, abandonment and, although he hated to say it, discrimination, were erased. Like he had never closed those doors. Left his beloved circus for fame, fortune and a beautiful woman. Pushed away everyone he held dear, driven only by his ever growing hunger for more, and more, and more. They had danced and drunk, and forgiven him. But it just didn’t feel right.

 

• Anne •

P.T. Barnum had never looked sadder. Anne had loved watching him from her trapeze, leaping about the stage with all the excitement of the little boy inside of him; a showman in his element. Now that shining grin and booming song was replaced with a permanent frown and a mutter you had to lean in to hear. He barely met his friends' eyes, and rarely spoke up in conversations. In short, P.T. Barnum was bottling it all up. Anne knew because she had done the same many times before. And she knew exactly how to help him.•

 

•Phillip •

Phillip was confused to say the least.

“Let me get this straight. You want me, Barnum's apprentice turned partner, recently injured in a fire he still blames himself for, to get him wildly drunk, reach a point where he breaks and the floodgates open, at which point you and the rest of the troupe will walk in and tell him how you do truly forgive him, and love and need him?”

Anne nodded.

“Yes. Do you think you can do it?”

He thought for a second, then smirked. “I used to be a playwright - I think I can do this.”

 

• Phineas •

After the third recital of Phillip's new theatre monologue, titled ‘A Contemplation on Life, Love and Theatre', P.T. Barnum was becoming rather bored. Not to mention tired, slightly confused, incredibly emotionally unstable and wildly drunk. He signalled to the bartender for another shot of whiskey, gulping it down in one go as Phillip finished the final line.

“So what do you think? It could still use a bit of tweaking, there’s an awkward line in the third verse that doesn’t flow as well, I think it needs to have a slower pace too, you know how it is with monologues right, because -”

“Phillip.”

“Yeah?”

“Please. Talk about something else. Literally anything else,” Phineas muttered, gesturing drunkenly.

“Okay. What abooouuut, uh, you? How are you doing? We haven’t really had a chance to catch up properly, what with the tour, and the fire, and -”

The tour. He remembered the clink of champagne glasses, the flash of newspaper's cameras, the feel of soft lips on his own.

The fire. He remembered the billowing smoke pouring into the sky, the screams of terrified performers, the still body of the very man sitting in front of him –

And the floodgates opened.

High in the sky,

we can see the whole world down below,

we're walking a tightrope.

Never sure, will you catch me if I should fall?

 

Notes:

Oh dear is that a cliffhanger? Sorry I hate them too but dramatic effect
Also I think I should clarify, I had most of these prewritten - I'm not racking out a chapter a day! Bit enthusiastic about the whole 'u-can-share-ur-stories-and-people-actually-like-them' thing

Chapter 5: Disgraced and Disowned, Another One of the Clowns

Summary:

When Anne walked into the bar, she expected to see a sad Barnum having a heart to heart with his partner. What she did not expect to see was him sobbing into his arms on the countertop while Phillip patted his back awkwardly.

Notes:

Sorry for that cliffhanger, I promise you’ll get the full scene, and a fresh bunch of angst, handpicked by yours truly
I'm going to finish this story here, but continue with it in my next fic - I made a series! Look out for that, cus there's plenty more feels to come

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

  • Anne •

 

When Anne walked into the bar, she expected to see a sad Barnum having a heart to heart with his partner. What she did not expect to see was him sobbing into his arms on the countertop while Phillip patted his back awkwardly. She stepped forward hesitantly.

“Mr Barnum?”

He looked up, bloodshot eyes meeting black ones. The ringmaster dried his face with his sleeves, then his mask was back. A mask that portrayed a content man, one that he had worn for weeks. This mask was old, and it was breaking.

“Ah, Anne. What a surprise to see you here too! Me and Phillip were just catching up. I see you managed to bring the entire circus with you!” He smiled weakly. The joke fell flat.

Lettie moved forward. “Cut the crap Barnum. We know you’re not ok. We can see. So stop hiding it from us.”

“I...”

Charles too. “Yeah P.T, we can all tell something ain't right, and now we’re gonna do something about it.”

“But.. I...”

Now Anne spoke. “Mr Barnum, you are our leader. Ah, no, listen,” as he objected half heartedly, “you are the centre of our circus. The spark that ignited the flame, the passion that keeps it burning. And as hard as you may find it to believe, we care for you. When you are suffering, we all suffer. You are a part of this family.”

The man stared at her.

“I don’t understand,” he breathed. “I left you. I shut you out. I abandoned you when you needed me most. I was just as bad as those thugs that attacked you, the ones that.. the ones that burned our circus down.” A tear traced its way down his stricken face.

“Why did you forgive me?”

“Oh Barnum, you old humbug,” Lettie chuckled, “is that what you’ve been so beat up about? Yeah. You shut the doors. You left. It hurt us. But we got up from it. We have done it many times before, and we’ll do it again. We moved on. But then you came back. I saw the remorse in your eyes, and I knew you really were sorry. Some people just don’t change. But you did. So, we forgave you. Everyone makes mistakes, and those mistakes shape the person they become. You have learned from your mistakes, and now you have to lead us once again in rebuilding our circus. So, are you with us?”

The showman stared.

“You forgive me?”

W.D stepped toward him. “We forgive you.”

Slowly but surely, like a sunrise on a new day, a smile grew on P.T Barnum's face. He rose quickly from his stool, jumping down to face his circus. Anne could see it. The wonder in him had returned, the joy that filled his life and all the lives around him.

“Well then!” he cried, as the troupe cheered, “let’s get this show on the road!”

Well it's all an adventure,

that comes with a breath-taking view.

Walking a tightrope,

with you.

Notes:

Lettie is a queen honestly
Happy ending yaaaay
This story will continue in my next fic, 'All I Want is to Fly with You', coming soonish!

Notes:

Will probably continue, I love this movie so m u c h - hope y'all enjoyed :D

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