Chapter Text
Prologue
The boy was having a great day. His father took him and his best friend out on the speed boat. The three of them spent the day doing a mixture of fishing and tubing. They didn’t bother to keep any of the fish they caught, preferring to just throw them back in the water and watch them swim away. The father gave both him and his best friend a beer with a wink telling them not to tell their mothers. This is where he feels most alive out on the water. It’s his little paradise.
It was dark by the time they returned back at the house. All three of them were looking a little red from the sun, but they didn’t care. A little sunburn is so worth a day on the water. When they walked through the front door they were greeted with a sweet aroma of the boy’s mothers cooking.
Hunith made her special meatloaf with carrots and potatoes. The four of them sat at the kitchen table. The father Balinor was boosting about how his boy caught a giant catfish and was laughing about how he almost fell off the boat when it was fighting him. Meanwhile Will was stealing some of Merlin’s potatoes and smirking at how no one noticed.
It was when Hunith started grabbing the plates and bringing them to the sink that Balinor stretched his arms above his head as he spoke “well Will ya recon I take you home now?”
“I can walk”
“nonsense its dark I’ll drive you home.” He interrupted Will felling like he shouldn’t be walking that far with it being dark out. “Merl you go get a shower you smell like fish.”
“Oi! So do you” the boy shot back. His father just gave him a smile and got up to grab the keys. “Come on Will lets go.” Will followed the Balinor out the door.
Merlin went up to his room after Will and his father left to grab a change of clothes and then went to get in the shower. After getting cleaned and ready for bed, he went back down stairs. His mother was sitting in her chair watching a movie on the telly.
He walked over and sat on the couch next to her. “Has dad made it home yet?” Hunith laughed at something on the screen and replied “no sweetie he should be home anytime though.” “hmm okay,” he replied finding it strange that Balinor wasn’t back yet.
Merlin pulled out his phone and got on Instagram. Looking at his notifications he seen that Will tagged him in a picture of them sitting on the boat with the waves behind them. After liking it he scrolled through his phone for a little bit.
Merlin started to get this feeling that something was wrong. He looked at the time. They left a little over an hour ago. It should take 20 minutes to drop Will off and make it back home. Will only lives eight-minutes away, so feeling curious he calls his dad. It didn’t even ring instead a deep voice spoke “hi, um… This is uh Balinor, to what can I do for ya?”. Merlin hung up and then found Will’s name and hit call, it rang and kept ringing several times until his best friend’s voice was in his ear “Hello you reached Will, sorry I couldn’t make it to phone but leave a message.” Merlin shut his phone off. This feeling of uneasiness is growing stronger. Will always answers when I call him.
He looks at his mom and Hunith sensing her sons worry, looks at him. “Mom somethings wrong.” Not really sure what to tell him as she is feeling a sense of wrongness as well said “maybe he stopped at Walmart.” Merlin just looks at her like she decided they are going to join the circus. “I really hope so…”
They sat in that room with the telly on not really paying attention. Another hour went by painfully slowly. “Mom?” “I know dear perhaps he went to Mcdonalds?” “At 11pm?” “It’s possible” He could see the worry in her expression and hear the concern in her voice. “What do we do mom?” “Pray that he is at Mcdonalds eating french fries.”
There was a knocking sound at the door. Merlin instantly shot up and ran to the door. He wasn’t sure who would show up at 11:43pm but he wasn’t expecting to see a man wearing a sheriff outfit with a grim look on his face. “Hey son where is your mother?” Merlin looked at up at him slightly confused but non the less said “come in” and stepped aside to give him room. They barely made it through the hall when Hunith was standing there looking very pale.
“Sheriff Dale what are you doing here?” she asked. The man named Dale sighed and said in a solemn tone “hey Hunith you are going to want to sit down.” Merlin felt his heart speed up and his mother looked like she was going to faint. This can’t be happening this can’t be happening. That sense of wrongness in his chest was very quickly turning to a sense of doom.
“No,” Hunith whispered “no… This isn’t happening. Where is my husband?” You could see the worry lines all over her face. She looked like she was about to have a meltdown.
“There was an accident. The car that hit your husband’s had three teenagers. The driver was drunk and either didn’t see the red light or was unaware of it… There were no survivors.” Sheriff Dale looked like he didn’t know whether if he should try to comfort her or leave. Hunith fell to the floor wrapping her skinny arms around her legs and started sobbing.
Merlin could feel the tears sliding down his cheeks moistening his face. His heart was hurting from the pounding and he could feel the beginning of a headache coming on. “No..” Merlin whispered to himself. “My dad is gone” I’ll never see him again. He can’t be dead? He is always there. Will, Oh god… Will did he make it home? He dreaded the thought of asking but he knows what he has to do.
“Sheriff… Was there… Was there anyone else in my, my dad’s car?” The man looked torn and like he wasn’t sure if he should answer the question. But one look into the boy’s eyes and he sighed knowing he couldn’t deny him the truth. After all he would find out eventually. “I’m afraid Will was in there with him.” That was Merlin’s breaking point. He slid down the wall and just cried knowing not only did he lose his father but his best friend who was basically his brother.
The next day was worse. All Merlin wanted was to be left alone, but people thought otherwise. All day people showed up with flowers and food. They stayed and they talked to them. “It’s going to get better” they would say. Or they would ask “how are you doing?” He wanted to tell them to fuck off but he knew they meant well so he would just say “I need to be alone but thank you for stopping by” and he would go to his room. He couldn’t say he was fine because he lost two out of the three people he loves the most.
Monday his mother made him go to school saying “you shouldn’t get behind on your studies.” Merlin didn’t feel like he could make it through the day. He just wanted to lay in bed and cry the pain away. Didn’t people usually take time off to grief the loss of loved ones? Apparently not if you’re 16. So he left to go to school. He didn’t have any friends at school aside from Will. Oh god… Will. Damn it the tears are back sliding down his cheeks again.
School was a blur, his teachers would ask him how he is holding up and the tears would fall again. It made the teachers uncomfortable which in turn made Merlin feel awkward. He couldn’t really find it in him to care that much though. He just wanted to have his father pull him into one of his tight hugs and have Will slap him on the back and say “we got you Merls, we got you good.” But he knows its wishful thinking and won’t happen.
None of the students bothered him, and the teachers wouldn’t call on him in class. Whether if it’s to let him try to relax or out of fear of making him have a meltdown he doesn’t know or care.
When Merlin made it home he was relieved to see his mother’s car in the driveway. After the day he went through he really just needs to hug his mother and have a cup of her tea. He walked inside and yelled “mom I’m home”. Walking into the kitchen he sees her leaning on the table asleep. Walking over to shake her awake. “mom you’re going to get a stiff nec. MOM!!” There was blood on her face, on her arm and on the table. Next to her was a kitchen knife dripping with a red liquid. Taking out his phone dialing the number. “911 whats your emergency?” a woman’s voice spoke into his ear. “My m-mom, my mom. S-s-she. She is trying to k-ki-kill herself” He was feeling a panic attack coming on. It was suddenly very hard to breath. His mother felt lifeless and looked so pale it hurt. “Sweetie what’s your address?” he just started sobbing “she isn’t breathing!” “There is an ambulance on its way.”
The boy couldn’t believe his luck. In less than four hours he lost his best friend and his father. Then two days later his mother tries to commit suicide. He is sitting beside her lifeless body in the Eeldor’s Hospital. The doctor told him that she is in a coma and could remain in it for a couple hours, couple days, couple weeks, or a couple years, and that’s if she even wakes up. The only family member he has left is his Uncle Gaius. He called him a little bit ago to tell him what happened and he suggested that Merlin moves to Camlet to live with him.
Holding on to his mother’s hand he looks into her pale face. He gently rubs his thumb over the smooth texture of the back of her hand and says in a voice filled with both love and sadness “I love you mom, I can’t believe you did this, but I love you. I’m going to go live with Uncle Gaius but I will come and visit you when I can. Please get well soon I miss you.” With the unending tears and his shaking body he kisses his mother’s forehead and walks out of the room.
He returns to his home for what will probably be the last time. Grabbing as much clothes as he can fit into his suite case and a picture of him, his parents, and Will. He goes outside to sit on the porch to wait for Gaius to come and take him away.