Chapter Text
A horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight.
Rossiter W. Raymond
Shiro was shouting at him over the coms again. Really, Lance was trying his best here. It wasn't his fault that the "uninhabited" planet was completely covered in huge, angry, murder robots. Lance kicked a droid that was coming for his ankle. Okay, so some of them weren't huge. Angry, murder robots of various sizes-
Lance ducked down as he came under heavy fire again. No way were these cargo boxes going to hold against the onslaught. He would have to move soon.
"Lance, just get out of there!"
As if that wasn't what he'd been trying to do already. Honestly. This wasn't even supposed to be dangerous. This was a recon mission to find out what had happened to the people living on this planet. Apparently- and Lance was just taking a wild guess here- they were murdered by robots.
A crate above Lance exploded. He sunk down further. Something with more fire power must have shown up.
They weren't Galra though. But it just figured that other things in the universe would be trying to kill him. It wasn't like the Galra were the only beings capable of mass violence.
Lance felt the crate he was huddling behind give a great shudder.
Time to move.
He took a deep breath, waited for the constant firing to ease up at least a fraction and then he rolled. He was trying to get to the door way. He just had to get behind the computer console and then make a break for it.
The console didn't supply as much cover as he thought it would and he had enough time to realize he had made a pretty bad mistake before he got punched in the head.
That's what it felt like anyway.
He hit the ground with a grunt. His helmet slammed into the floor and he felt pain explode through his skull.
For one brief moment, he didn't move.
Still alive.
Lance activated his shield and curled up behind it. His arm jerked as shots pelted off the barrier. The shield buzzed angrily and Lance hoped it didn't go out on him.
He tried to drag air into his lungs, quickly assessing the pain he felt. His head hurt from the blast that had grazed him and the knock it took when he hit the floor, but he was conscious.... So... all good then.
Blinking, he realized the hissing sound he heard wasn't just in his head. There was actual air escaping his helmet. He felt a stinging in his nose, reminding him that Pidge had told them before the mission that the air here was not breathable for humans.
He was losing oxygen.
That shot had managed to warp something, crack the protective casing.
He became aware that his team was talking, but it was muffled by static and something that sounded like waves beating a distant shore.
Lance scrambled. He was a mess of limbs, trying to hold his shield and fire blindly with his bayard. He made it to his feet only to be sent sprawling again by a blast hitting his shield. His arm ached and he felt like the muscles there were shuddering around his bones. He briefly imagined his arm breaking from the strain before he shot a small robot that had made its way around the console.
"Stuck," Lance forced out, surprised at how his voice sounded like he was choking.
"Lance? Are you hurt?"
Lance made a noncommittal noise in the back of his throat. He hadn't thought so, but his head was swimming and his eyes were starting to burn. The crashing waves were getting louder.
The air was probably poisoning him or something.
"Okay. Okay. Pidge is closest. Keith will be there soon too. Just hang on." Shiro sounded as though he was fighting pretty hard. It made guilt tug at Lance's stomach. He really needed to get up and fight or at least escape.
He felt his eyes watering and really? This was not the time to be crying. However, he found the tears to be remarkably irrepressible as he blinked the wetness from his eyelashes. There was a pain in his chest as he drew in short gasps of air.
His arm gave another great shudder and that one really hurt. Lance bit his lip and tried to scoot himself towards the door. There wasn't much left of the console to protect him anyway.
Lance craned his neck, gauging the distance from his current position to the door. It was hard to tell with how blurry everything had become.
Stop crying.
Lance felt embarrassed and frustrated with himself. It didn't even hurt that much-
"Lance!" Pidge was shouting his name from just beyond the doorway. "Are you hurt?"
Not hurt really. Maybe having some kind of panic attack? Shiro got them sometimes. Was it normal for his head to ache like this?
"I'm fine," Lance forced out.
Pidge snorted.
"You don't look fine." She had been peering carefully from her position in the hallway. "Hang on."
Pidge ducked away and Lance wondered what she was going to do. He could hear the robots getting closer. He probably only had a few ticks-
Everything went silent.
For a moment, Lance thought his hearing had gone, but then he heard his name; his name and the rushing of water. Pidge was scrambling toward him, roughly pushing his shield away and turning his head to look at the side of his helmet.
"What happened?" Lance deactivated his shield, realizing he was no longer under fire.
"I've been patching into their frequencies and shutting them down." Pidge motioned to a device in her hand. Lance didn't recognize it, for all he knew she had just made it in the past varga while they were on this planet. "Did you get shot in the head?"
"Grazed," Lance answered automatically. His voice sounded weird to him. Kind of far away.
"No, Lance. This is a direct hit. You're lucky you didn't get your head blown off. Your armor is all warped." Something beeped and Pidge let out an irritated huff. "You're leaking. No wonder you're out of it."
"Leaking," Lance repeated. His immediate thought was his tears and he wanted to say that he couldn't help them, but then she was tapping the side of his helmet.
"It's cracked." Pidge seemed to notice something in Lance's expression and her eyes softened. "Hey, does it hurt a lot?"
Lance's eyes really stung. Now that she was asking and he wasn't alone anymore, he could catalogue it properly. Pain in his head. Pain in his eyes. His nostrils were beginning to feel like they were burning and he had an itching in his lungs that felt all wrong.
"Breathing hurts." He settled on.
"Hang on," Pidge hit a few buttons on her arm. There was the beep of the scan. Lance waited.
"It's weird. You should still be getting enough oxygen... Can you stand?"
Lance sat up. Even though it made his head spin and he had to shut his eyes against the colors that shifted and blurred. The room was rocking from side to side, like a boat caught up in a storm.
"Whoa, whoa, wait, wait, wait." Pidge grabbed his arm, while her scan blipped and flashed. "Hold... still." She was speaking slowly now, her full attention on the readouts she was receiving.
Lance felt a burning sensation in his mouth. The inside of his cheeks lit up on fire and he felt saliva gather in his mouth as nausea started to set in. More tears slipped down his cheeks and he shut his eyes tight, partially because he was embarrassed, but mostly because the pain had spiked exponentially there.
"Hang on. Hang on." Pidge sounded flustered. "How is- they shouldn't- that's actually amazing. They must be programmed differently. They aren't receiving an outside signal. They're acting on their own."
Lance thought there was a copper taste mixing into his saliva. Pidge made a startled sound before slapping one hand to Lance's helmet. Lance winced at the contact.
"Sorry, I need to stop them. Your helmet is letting them though." Pidge was frowning. "They should still be able to receive a signal. I need to turn them off."
"What?" Lance finally forced out.
"Microbots, you have these little speck robots trying to break down your tissues. They’re incredible."
Lance opened his eyes and scowled at Pidge through the pain. Seriously? Microbots. Of course.
"I mean, they’re incredible and awful. Keep your eyes shut. Maybe it will impede their progress."
Lance was slow to realize that Pidge's warning literally meant: 'little robots are eating your eyeballs; maybe your eyelids will stop them.'
Real fear was just beginning to set in when Keith finally showed up.
Pidge explained in a rush what was happening as she pressed buttons on her device.
Lance was trying to breathe, but there was either damage there or he was panicking from the idea of microbots eating away at his lungs.
"Slow your heart rate," Keith instructed. He was watching it blip across Pidge's scan and he noticed the way it was starting to go faster and faster.
This wasn't a slow heart rate kind of situation. Lance opened his eyes so he could glare in Keith's direction. Keith's face twitched and he glanced away at Pidge.
"His eyes are all bloodshot."
"Bursting capillaries in his sclera." Pidge explained briefly. "Lance," Pidge didn't look up, but worry flickered across her face, "you're going to be okay. Close your eyes."
Lance started blinking rapidly. It was stinging sharply and Pidge was blurring out of focus.
"Pidge." Lance coughed. "It's hard to see."
"Hang on, hang on. Close your eyes." There was a long moment of near silence as Pidge studied her device. Lance could hear her sucking air in through her teeth in frustration and her fingers tapping too harshly. Keith was talking into the comlink. Updating the rest of the team on the situation. Lance kept hearing a voice in his ear, but it was hard to hear over the static that had filled his head.
"Keith can you get him up?"
"Yeah." Keith was grabbing his arms and hauling him to his feet. Lance felt the world pitch and sway beneath him.
He groaned in protest, but he tried not to be completely dead weight. Keith was strong, but Lance was tall and awkward to carry. Lance would have to try and walk a little bit.
There was a lot of fast talking and all he was able to catch was the way Pidge's voice wobbled at the end of her sentences.
She sounded so frustrated. He needed to tell her it was alright, don't be mad. He was okay.
Lance opened his mouth and felt all of the pooling saliva slip out. But it was too warm and metallic tasting and when he opened his eyes he saw the bright red that had splattered across his visor.
It was the last thing he saw.
This was the third time that Pidge had to explain retinal detachment to Coran. Everybody could see that she was becoming more and more irritated as Coran kept asking for clarification.
"So this is not something that humans usually heal from without some form of surgery?"
"No," Pidge bit out.
Coran hummed. "And the globe rupture, you said that is also an injury that would require surgery?"
"I- I think- I don't know. Probably." Pidge pushed her glasses up into her hairline and rubbed at her own eyes. She let out an exasperated groan.
"Pidge," Shiro moved closer. They had all been standing outside of Lance's pod for over a varga and the lack of a clear assessment of Lance's condition was wearing on them. It didnt look good though. "Pidge," Shiro repeated as he set a hand on her shoulder.
She shrugged hard, attempting to dislodge him. When that didn't work, she ducked away and waved him off.
"I don't know enough, okay?" Pidge snapped. "I don't know enough about human anatomy and I don't know enough about eye injuries and I didn't know enough about the robots to stop them either."
Hunk had stepped forward, though he didn't try to reach out to her. "Pidge, it was an emergency situation, it was scary and you were rushed-"
"They're always emergency situations! They're always scary, they're always rushed-"
"It's not your fault," Shiro broke in.
Pidge shook her head, her words got lost somewhere in her throat. They choked her and she felt tears spring to the corners of her eyes, but all she could think about was how Lance had sat there and let her work. How he thought she would fix it. Even after they got him to a Lion and Keith pointed out that Lance's face was turning red as the superficial layers of skin were eaten through. Even as Lance's eyes were being slowly blenderized in his head. He’d gone quiet and waited for her.
He cried and he waited.
Pidge abruptly turned on her heel and fled from the room. Several voices called out at once, but she couldn't stand it for one more second.
She hadn't been smart enough. She hadn't been quick enough.
She ran away.
She had been running at a full sprint for a long time when arms grabbed her around the middle and pulled her to a forceful, shuddering stop. She kicked and yelled and she wasn't crying because she didn't have the right to do so.
Damn Keith for being faster than her and damn him for being stronger too.
"Let me go!" She demanded. Keith didn't reply, but he loosened his grip enough that she was able to wiggle further away.
"Let me go," she repeated through clenched teeth.
"You need to calm down."
Sometimes there were flashes of Shiro in Keith's words. They were echoes from Keith's past that would come reverberating up and out in the way he spoke.
"Calm down," Keith repeated. Pidge stopped struggling. He was right. She didn’t have the right to be this upset. This wasn't even about her.
"It's not your fault." Keith spoke slowly as he let her go. He kept one hand on her wrist in case she ran off again.
"It is though. I should've moved him right away. The longer we stayed the more of those things got to him. I thought I could stop them."
Pidge hadn't been able to stop them until they were back on the Castle of Lions. Not until Lance was in the infirmary and fallen unconscious from shock and pain was she able to send out a signal that killed the bots’ programming.
"It's my fault."
"Fix it then."
Pidge blinked. Those weren't Shiro's words, those were all Keith.
"If anyone is going to figure out how to help him now, it's going to be you. So do it." Keith dropped her wrist and she blinked rapidly, clearing her tears away. She felt stunned and overwhelmed, but she was needed.
"Okay,” she whispered.
She wouldn't fail this time.
The first thing Lance become aware of was that he was way too cold. The next thing was that he was falling.
His head buzzed with the memory of pain and fear. He wondered if the cold was from the waves hitting him.
Arms were around him and he thought that they must have caught him. He didn't remember the initial contact or how long he'd been there in those arms, but now he realized he was being quietly spoken to.
"Lance," Coran's voice echoed around in his head, "open your eyes slowly."
He squinted, knowing the light was always too harsh after being in a pod and, while he was greeted by the usual pain, he was not greeted by the typical light.
Blinking, he tried to make sense of it. He wouldn't say it was complete darkness. There was a large blurry blob that was oscillating in his line of sight.
"They don't look right." Apparently, the blob was Hunk shaped.
"No, they don't." He recognized Coran's voice, but he couldn't line the voice up with the vague figure that hovered into his vision and tilted his head up for inspection.
Startled, Lance let out a gasp and jerked away.
"It's alright, my boy. Calm down now. I'm here, Lance. Can you see me?" Coran spoke slowly, carefully keeping the worry out of his tone.
Lance's memories came tumbling back in disorganized chunks. Pain and fear and blood.
"I can't-I cant- it's not-"
"Calm down. It's going to be alright."
It was going to be alright? He couldn't see anything except for faint blurry shapes!
"Is this- is this... is it forever?" Lance felt like his tongue was getting stuck to the top of his mouth. The word ‘permanent’ came to his mind a moment later and he wished his brain would process faster so that he didn't sound so stupid and scared.
There was a long stretch of silence that filled the room.
"We're going to see what we can do. We just need some time." Coran didn’t sound very convincing.
Lance felt dread and panic fill his chest. His breathing picked up and he felt Hunk's arms tighten around him. This was permanent. This was permanent.
"We're working on something. It's okay,” Hunk muttered into his hair.
"Lance," Shiro's voice echoed from the left somewhere. Lance jumped, not even realizing their leader had been in the room with them. Who else was here? Lance couldn't tell...
"Hey, take a breath." Hunk’s arms loosened slightly from around his friend, now worried he might be impeding his breathing.
What was he going to do? What was he going to do now? He wouldn't be able to shoot like this or fight like this.
He wasn't going to be a paladin anymore.
"Hey man, it really is going to be okay."
He really wasn't going to see his mom again.
"Lance, my boy, breathe." Coran was gently stroking the side of his head, smoothing his hair down.
Lance pulled in a noisy gasp before he choked and let out a strangled sob.
"That's alright. That's alright." Coran's hand landed on his back.
"It's not though!" Lance blurted out before he dissolved into tears. "It's not alright. I can't see any of you!"
"I know." Coran swallowed thickly. "I know. You're right." Coran leaned in closer. "But we're going to think of something. So just hold on."
Lance may have nodded through his tears. He wanted to hold on like Coran said, but as Hunk gathered him back into a tight embrace, he felt completely lost, like he was drifting away out into open water.
“Hold on, hold on.”
They had suggested he stay in his room. Obviously, he understood why, but he had woken up to find himself alone. And with the way his stomach kept dropping and his chest kept tightening in despair, he wanted to be anything, but alone right now. Before, he had fallen asleep quickly with Hunk nearby, consoling him, but now Hunk must have been called away for some reason.
Lance thought of Blue and he felt the need to visit her. She usually could make him feel better. He pulled his feet over the side of his mattress and cautiously stood up.
He thought he heard scurrying around his feet that indicated the mice were there, but when he looked down he couldn't even distinguish the shape of his feet from the floor. Everything was just a dark, dark grey. He wondered if it would be worse to just be completely blind. The little bit of vision he had was useless. He couldn't do anything like this. Could he even find his way to his Lion’s hangar? Lance scrambled towards what was, hopefully, his door. He knew he was panicking now and he knew that he shouldn't try to move around without being able to see, but he felt the urge to run away, to fight and scream and-
His door slid open somewhere to his right. He'd been about to walk into the wall.
"Whoa, you're awake." Hunk stepped in closer, trying to catch Lance's eye out of habit. "Sorry, I had to step out for a bit."
Lance was standing completely still. His fingers were outstretched and brushing the wall in front of him while his gaze fell blankly towards the floor.
"Hey, you okay?" Hunk reached an arm forward, but left his hand hovering by Lance's elbow. He didn't want to startle his friend, but at the same time Lance looked like he needed comfort. Actually, he looked too pale, like he was going to-
"I'm gonna throw up."
Lance hunched over, smacking his forehead against the wall before Hunk could stop him.
"This way, come on come on." Hunk grabbed him into an awkward side hold and dragged him to the small connected bathroom. Lance had started to heave before Hunk managed to aim him toward the toilet. Luckily, Lance hadn't eaten anything when he got out of the pod, so there was nothing to bring up. However, his stomach cramped and hurt and his knees shook from the intensity of it.
Only a bit of bile came up and he spat with distaste, unsure if he was hitting the toilet bowl or not.
"That's okay," Hunk mumbled. He must have missed the toilet then.
Hunk brushed his friend’s fingers with a hand towel that he had found. Lance grabbed it and wiped at his face roughly. Without thinking, he turned his head to look at the mirror to check to see if any sick had gotten on his shirt.
Everything was just a mass of darkness.
Lance choked back the helplessness growing in his chest.
He didn't want to cry. He was supposed to be brave and hold on.
Hunk carefully took the towel from his friend's loose fingers and gently wiped at a damp spot of sick on Lance's shirt.
Before he could stop himself, Lance burst into bitter tears.
Hunk stayed with him. He let Lance cling to him and sob into his neck.
At some point, Hunk had moved them out of the bathroom and onto Lance's bed. At the height of his breakdown, there was a roaring in Lance's ears and he balked at the disorientation. Unable to properly hear or see, he shouted without meaning too.
He didn’t want to be lost.
Hunk wrapped his arms around him tightly.
"I'm here, I'm here. You're in your room. We're on the Castle of Lions. You're with me. It's okay. It's okay."
After nearly a varga, Lance tried to compose himself. He had to be okay. He had to. Lance took in a huge gasp of breath. He forced away the last dregs of panic and uncertainty that lingered.
"Sorry, Hunk," he managed to rasp out. Lance leaned away, his shoulder bumped the wall and he stopped moving entirely. He readjusted his sense of where he was. He was crammed onto his bed with Hunk, who probably didn't have enough room, and the door would be somewhere to the left. The game system had been shoved against the wall, out of the way so Lance wouldn't trip. They should probably just take it out. It wasn't like he could play it.
"You don't need to apologize. I would have freaked out too."
Lance bit down on his bottom lip, ceasing the trembling there.
"You didn't eat anything earlier, do you want something? Anything you want, I'll make it."
Lance thought of managing utensils as he stared at the darkened shadows that were his folded hands in his lap.
"Just some ration bars. I don't need anything else."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah." Lance felt his mouth grow dry. The bars were tasteless, but they would be easy enough to hold and bring up to his mouth to eat.
"Okay, if that's all you want...." Hunk trailed off. He was giving his friend a chance to change his mind. He knew Lance hated those bars.
"That's all." Lance scooted down and flopped backwards onto his pillow. He shut his eyes, tired of trying to make sense of the vague shapes surrounding him.
Lance's hand was trailing along the wall. The past few days had been a blur in every sense. Initially, he had clung to Hunk and cried himself to sleep over and over again, until he lost track of the days completely. But now he needed action. It was only a matter of time before they had to fight the Galra and Lance was either going to be able to help or he was going to be useless.
Lance had woken up that morning to a familiar feeling pulling at his mind. There was confusion and concern, but mostly impatience. Blue was calling him.
She had been trying to reach out to him for days, but Lance's own thoughts had grown too loud for him to hear her.
He had convinced Hunk to go back to his own room to sleep that night and then he had made his move. He hadn't wanted help. He needed to do this on his own. It would take a long time, but if he couldn't walk to his own Lion then there really wasn't any hope for him.
Lance's hand found empty air and he didn't know if the corridor turned right or if he had reached an intersection.
Lance took a deep breath and walked forward with his arms outstretched. He wasn't running into a wall, so the hall must keep going. He reached out again for the wall on his right and breathed a sigh of relief when his fingers met cold metal.
He could do this.
Coran tried to keep his mouth from quirking down into a frown.
The castle had video surveillance in place and while it wasn't in every hall and room, he was able to keep track of Lance's progress as the boy made his way to the hangar.
It was the middle of the night so Lance probably thought everyone was asleep, but Pidge was awake, working on the same project she had been tinkering with for the past few days. Allura had only just left to rest not too long ago; she had been up worrying. Shiro would be up soon, driven out of his room from nightmares or worry, Coran wasn't sure.
Then there was Coran himself. He hadn't yet been to sleep. With one paladin down, an attack from the Galra would be especially dangerous. He had just been checking his long and short distance scans when he had noticed the little blip on the castle's monitor, tracking Lance's progress through the ship. He brought up video on one of his screens and was watching the boy intently.
He didn’t want to tell Lance he had set the Castle to keep track of his biosignals and to track his location, but it was for his own safety.
He winced as Lance took a turn too sharp and slammed his shoulder into a wall. The boy stumbled, but managed to keep his footing. Again, Coran debated intervening. But something in the way Lance was moving resolutely forward made him hesitate. Lance was trying to move on his own; to get to Blue.
Coran decided to wait and only intervene if Lance got too close to an airlock or anything like that.
Over a varga later and Lance was finally close to his goal.
Coran glanced up at his monitor that displayed Blue in her hangar.
"You take care of him," Coran murmured under his breath. It was easy to imagine that the Blue Lion was staring right through the screen, meeting Coran's worried expression.
It will be okay.
Lance knew Blue was there and waiting for him, even without being able to see her, he was sure of it. Just as sure as he was of his own heart beating in his chest and the blood coursing in his veins. He could feel the warmth that was Blue encircling his mind and urging him forward. The ramp was already down and in a few moments he was nearly collapsing into the back of the pilot's seat with shaking hands.
"Blue..." Lance's voice stuck and he swallowed before trying again. "Hey. Hey, girl."
There was a greeting, an invitation to stay...
Not really words, but Lance understood Blue.
He shuffled around the chair, his fingers found the armrests and he lowered himself down slowly. It felt like he hadn't moved without hesitation in ages. Outside the cockpit, the world was dark and filled with looming shapes and the unknown. But Lance knew Blue. He didn't have to look to know his chair, his controls, his Lion…
Still. Still his Lion.
"I'm- I'm having some trouble." Lance licked his lips. He didn't know how much Blue had figured out. "I messed up. I got hit in the head- there wasn't enough cover, I should have moved- I got hurt."
Blue rumbled slightly, an encouraging purr.
"I don't know if- I don't think I can pilot you anymore, girl."
The words were barely out of his mouth before he felt a sharp pull in his chest. He took a startled breath before he was yanked forward, plunging into cold water. The cold bit at him as icy pain stabbed through his skull.
Lance blinked.
All at once there was color and shapes and he gasped at the sight of it all.
Everything has quintessence.
The hangar pulsed with light and beyond that Lance could see the castle and the other Lions and there was Hunk and Shiro and Keith and Pidge, awake and pacing in her lab.
"Is this how you see? Is this through your eyes?" Lance felt his own words echo around his head. "Blue?" There was a moment of silence as everything began to fade away.
Eyes are not always needed to see.
The hangar faded away and Lance could see inside the cockpit. He looked down at his hands and flexed his fingers. Lance could feel tears forming in his eyes. This could work. He could still be useful. Maybe he wouldn't be worthless after all.
You will be alright.
"Lance, wake up. Wake up, my boy."
Lance jumped at the hand placed on his shoulder. He had blinked open his eyes and only been met with a dark looming shadow. He didn't realize it was Coran until he had fallen to the floor in his attempt to get away.
"Alright, alright. It's only me. Don't be afraid."
"Coran," Lance was looking around the cockpit, the darkness surprising him. He'd fallen asleep, but he'd thought for sure that he would be able to see when he woke up.
"You gave everyone else a fright. They didn't know where you were."
"Sorry." Lance reached out, trying to find the pilot seat, but Coran grabbed his hand instead. Lance was probably far from his goal, grasping at air. Coran was quick to pull him to his feet.
"How are you feeling?"
"I can see."
"What?" Coran sounded close, as though he was peering closely into Lance's face.
"I mean, with Blue, I can see with Blue. It's weird and it kind of hurt my head, but I can see with her. I can still pilot!" Lance wondered if he sounded crazy. He certainly felt a bit hysterical. His head was still pounding from the experience.
"Alright, alright. That's good. I'm so glad."
"You believe me?"
"Of course. The Lions have many abilities; it's just a matter of tapping into them."
"You sound weird." Lance had been listening closely and Coran didn’t sound nearly as happy for him as he thought he would. There was a brief pause and Lance wished he could see Coran’s expression.
"I'm just concerned. Lance, dear boy, you are very pale and you had passed out in the chair. I think you pushed yourself too hard."
"I have to. Coran, I have to,” Lance responded quickly.
"I understand, just- be careful. Please."
"I will be."
Coran patted his hand and led him away. Lance was bouncing on his heels eager to tell the others about his discovery. It was almost like before. If Lance hadn't kept accidentally bumping Coran, he could almost imagine that everything was fine. A side glance and Coran could see the way Lance stared ahead at nothing. His eyes weren't the same shade anymore and his hair was a mess. Something the young paladin would normally have been concerned about.
"What's wrong?" Lance had sensed that they were walking too slowly. Coran reached over and smoothed down Lance's hair. Lance jumped at the contact, but quickly realized what Coran was trying to do.
"Do I look bad?" Lance ran fingers through his fringe, trying to get it to lay flat. He frowned as frustration crossed his face. He hadn't been able to really take care of his appearance. He trusted Hunk to help him run a comb through his hair, but his skin routine had gone out the window.
"You look perfectly fine, my boy."
Lance nodded, accepting the assessment for now. They picked up their pace and Coran was relieved to see Lance was still eager to move forward.
Coran just hoped that this was the beginning of recovery for Lance. Though he still had a long way to go, Coran hoped that Lance knew how long his journey was going to be.
He'll be alright. He'll be alright.
Lance insisted on target practice, even though Coran had advised against it and Shiro had said no outright. His ability to see with his Lion or quintessence wasn't understood by any of them really. Outside of his Lion, it required Lance to concentrate for a long time. And the visuals weren't clear. It wasn't enough to aim and shoot a target.
"A little more to the right," Hunk piped up from the observation tower.
"I know!" Lance growled. He was breathing too hard; the frustration was getting to him. He had been excited at first, thinking he would be able to see with Blue's help, but it wasn't the same as seeing with his own eyes. They had done some simple flying exercises and Lance did well, they had even formed Voltron, but on the ground, in combat, as a sharpshooter, he was quickly realizing he was still going to be useless.
Three more shots went wide and Lance let his rifle fall to the side. This wasn't working.
"That last one was closer," Hunk tried to soothe him. "Hey, maybe your bayard will change to lock on automatically? Coran said they could evolve right? Maybe it will adjust for you."
"Doubt it." Lance bit out. "If it hasn't changed yet, I don't think it's going to." Lance's bayard reverted back to its original form and Lance sat down on the floor with a huff. He just needed to recenter himself again. Not that he would have time to do that in a battle. Not that he would even be allowed on missions if he couldn't shoot a single target.
He was going to end up getting them all killed.
Lance flopped over onto the ground, letting out a watery breath of air.
Don't cry.
"Hey," Hunk spoke softly in his ear. "It's okay. I'm coming down, alright?"
Lance took a breath. "Alright."
The line went silent and Lance took the chance to try and concentrate. This had been easier in Blue. Now all he got was the vague idea of where shapes were. He was trying and trying, but all he had was a headache from all his effort.
Coran had told him not to try and fit a lifetime of training into a few days, but what choice did he have? He had to get back to normal.
Doubt crept into his mind.
This is your normal now.
Lance tightened his hands into fists.
No, he was going to get better at this. He was going to be useful, damn it.
Lance was startled by two sets of approaching footsteps. There was the familiar tread of Hunk and then a smaller, slightly shuffling gait besides him.
"Pidge." Lance sat up quickly. She hadn't been around much. She would do the bare minimum of training exercises with them and then disappear into her workspace. Lance had tried to talk to her, to draw her out, but she wouldn't talk to him.
He knew it was because she blamed herself for what had happened and that she wasn't actually angry with him. But it still hurt.
"Hey Pidge," Lance tried to make sure he was looking the right direction. Pidge was a green blur lit up amongst the darkness. People were easier to see than inanimate objects.
"Hey," her voice creaked like brittle branches in the wind. She coughed to clear her throat. It didn't really work. "I have- I finished it. It took so long, but it's done. Well, this is a prototype. I can make it better. It could be better. I-"
"Pidge," Hunk interrupted, "just show him."
Pidge more collapsed than knelt to her knees besides Lance.
"Hold still, okay?"
Lance nodded. He was struggling to bring her into focus. She was close so if he concentrated hard enough...
Pidge was slipping something onto his face and everything dimmed. Startled, he started to jerk away, but he stopped himself as Pidge reached behind his ears and pressed down.
Her hands fell away and Lance blinked at the dim green blur in front of him.
"Are... are they sunglasses?" Lance asked, furrowing his brow.
"They do look like glasses, but just wait. Are you ready?"
"Yeah."
Lance felt pressure as Pidge pressed something near his temple.
Everything went bright and white. He jumped backwards. Startled by the sudden change. It glared and hurt and it was way too much.
"Sorry, wait." Pidge pressed something on the side near his ear and everything dimmed.
Pidge was giving him such a hopeful look. And her eyes were so red and her hair was a mess.
"You look awful, Pidge."
Pidge released the breath she was holding and pressed shaking fingers into her eyes.
"That's not funny. Can you see or not?"
"I wasn't trying to be funny. I can see you. I mean, it's super weird, you look kind of warped around the edges... Uh, I can see when I blink. What is this?"
"You can see when you blink because it's always scanning for visual information. They gather stimuli and send impulses directly to your optic nerve and your occipital lobe. I can program it to stop scanning when you blink."
"You made this?"
"Yeah. I did."
"You made me robot eyes?"
"They're scanners if anything. They might be blurry or your depth perception might be off, but as you use them you should be able to adjust to them. They detect where you move your eyes so they will pick up anything you look at directly. They wrap around your head a bit more than sunglasses, but they shouldn't be too hard to get used to. If the colors seem off I can adjust them, I can-"
"Pidge, Pidge. You're amazing. The most amazing person I know. Thank you."
"I'm not!" Pidge blurted and she dissolved into tears.
"Whoa, hey, you're okay." Hunk was suddenly there, resting his hand on her back. "He likes them. They're good. You did a good job."
"Yeah, I love them, I mean it." Lance placed a hand on Pidge's shoulder and he felt like he misjudged the distance a bit, but he was ecstatic that he could even see enough to do that.
"I'm so- I'm so sorry, Lance."
"Pidge, come on." Lance shuffled in close. "I never blamed you. Not at all."
Pidge wiped fiercely at her eyes and tried to regain her composure, but her chin was shaking so hard.
"When was the last time you slept anyway?"
"I don't know."
"Okay. Please go sleep, Pidge. They're great, I love them, but I don't want you to hurt yourself. I never blamed you.”
Pidge nodded, though she didn't look like she believed him.
"One question though," Lance grinned. "Do I look good at least?"
Pidge huffed out a laugh. She swiped her arm across her eyes. "They're blue and silver and I based them off those horrible sport sunglasses you found in the Garrison lost and found that time."
"Nice, I loved those."
Pidge wiped her nose with the back of her hand. "Yeah, I know you did."
Lance pulled Pidge into a tight hug.
"You are amazing. Please don't cry anymore, okay?"
Pidge sighed into his shoulder.
"Okay."
Hunk took the opportunity to wrap his arms around both of them.
Lance had shut his eyes, but was still able to see everything. That was going to take some getting used to.
It was good though. This was the best he'd felt in days.
“Thank you, Pidge.”
They both slept better that night than they had in a long time.