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Jim is drunk. And Martin knows him well enough to know that Drunk Jim is a total bloody nightmare.
His drunk neighbour stands at the door, leaning against the doorframe. His dog sits beside his feet, staring up at Jim, whilst Jim wobbles on unsteady legs, face flushed and sweaty.
“Hello, Jackie,” Jim says, slurring.
“It’s Martin, Jim,” Martin says, eyebrows raised.
Jim giggles. “Oh y-yeah. Hello, Martin.”
He sighs. “Hello, Jim. What d’you want?”
“I… I’ve actually g-got important something I want t-to ask you and Jackie.”
“Can’t it wait?” he says. He’s shitting hungry and he wants his bloody beef.
Jim stares at him, smiling weirdly. “N-Not really.”
“What’s going on?!” Adam yells, walking into the hallway. He stops when he sees Jim, sighing. “Oh, hi, Jim.”
“Hello, Jonny,” Jim says, grinning.
“Adam,” he mutters under his breath.
“Look, just come in, then,” Martin says.
“Dad!”
Jim grins. “Th-Thank you, Martin.”
“Dad!” Adam hisses.
Martin leans close to Adam and whispers, “Look, I don’t want him either. But he says it’s important.”
Adam sighs. “Whatever.”
Martin opens the door wider, allowing Jim inside. Jim smiles and stumbles over the threshold, Winston ignoring his mumbled commands to wait and instead running full speed down the hallway and into the living room.
“What the…?” Jackie says, sticking her head into the hallway. She sees Jim and sighs. “Hello, Jim.”
“H-Hello, Jackie.”
“He said he’s got something important to ask us,” Martin says, only to jump when hands clamp against his bare shoulders. “Shitting hell!”
“Ha, got you, Professor Bosoms!” Jonny says, grinning and laughing like a right div.
“Shut up, you little shit,” he says, and Jackie shoots him a glare.
Jonny laughs. “What’s weirdo doing here?”
“W-Weirdo?” Jim mumbles, turning his head.
“Oh, nothing, Jim,” Jackie says, glaring at Jonny. As Jim hums and wanders past her into the living room, she mutters, “Don’t call him that in his earshot, Jonny.”
“Sorry. So, I guess no food for a while?”
“Nope, not until Jim’s done with his important question,” Adam says, folding his arms. “Bloody brilliant.”
“Oh get over yourselves,” Martin says. “I’m the hungriest of us all.”
“Only because you spent all day reading your library book and forgot to eat,” Jackie says, and Adam and Jonny snort.
“It was an interesting topic,” Martin says defensively. “I mean, who doesn’t like physics?”
“Basically everyone,” Adam mutters.
“Uh, c-can we talk now?” Jim calls, and Jackie and Martin sigh.
“Okay, coming, Jim!” Jackie says, and they all trail into the living room.
They find Jim sat on the two-seater sofa, Wilson sat on the other side of the room. Jim holds a bottle of gin and takes a swig.
“Uh, are you okay there, Jim?” Jonny says, and Jim splutters on the alcohol.
He laughs awkwardly, saliva and gin all over his lips and chin. “Um, y-yes, I’m fine, Adam.”
“Jonny.”
Shooting Jim a concerned glance, Martin and Jackie sit on the other sofa whilst the nosy boys hover in the doorway. Jim puts his bottle back in his pocket, wipes his face and leans forwards in his seat, smiling groggily.
“So, what’s this news, then?” Martin says, prodding at his bellybutton (he’s recently become fascinated by bellybuttons); Jackie glares at him and grabs his wrist to stop him doing it.
“Not n-news so much as a q-question,” Jim says, slurring worse than ever.
Jackie raises her eyebrows. “Well, what’s the question?”
“Oh, I see,” Jim says, giggling. “Um… w-would you two, J-Jackie and Martin, w-want to, uh… go out with me?”
Martin and Jackie stare at each other.
Jonny laughs.
“What. The. Hell?” Adam says, eyes wide.
Jim’s smile slips from his face, his face flushing redder than before. “Err.”
Martin stares at Jim instead, unable to believe what he just heard. Of course, it’s no bloody surprise that Jim asked Jackie out (he’s had a crush on Jackie for as long as Martin can remember), but to seriously want to go out with Martin as well? What the hell?
But… Jim looked serious. And now he looks humiliated. Did he get himself drunk just to work up the courage to do this?
Jackie stands up. “Boys, go check on the dinner for me?”
“But—”
“Go!”
Obviously wanting to continue watching this awkward scene (the little shits), Jonny and Adam sigh and grumble as they leave the room and trail into the kitchen. Jackie shuts the door and sits back down, reaching for Martin’s hand.
Jim stares down at his hands, glasses slipping down his nose.
Jackie squeezes Martin’s hand and glances at him, but he has no idea what she’s trying to tell him; unlike a lot of people, Martin is really shit at reading facial expressions. In the end, Jackie sighs.
“Jim, we…”
“I-I’m sorry, Jackie,” Jim says. “I d-didn’t mean to make things awk-awkward. Sorry.”
“No, it’s… okay,” Jackie says, but her tone doesn’t do her words justice.
Jim smiles awkwardly, stumbling to his feet. “I-I should go.”
He grabs Wilson’s lead and staggers out of the living room, through the hallway and collides heavily with the shut door.
“Shit!” Martin says, getting to his feet and dashing out of the room.
He pulls Jim away from the door and opens it for him, and watches the very drunk Jim stagger out of their house and down the driveway. And then he shuts the door and leans against it, letting out a deep sigh.
“Well, that was interesting,” Jonny says, smile as irritating ever.
“Yes,” Adam says, smirking. “I never thought I’d hear our pissed neighbour ask Mum and Dad out at the same time. Very interesting.”
“Shut up, you two,” Jackie says. “It’s time for dinner.”
But, seriously, what the shit are they going to do now?
---
Jim groans, his head throbbing even after nursing his hangover for several hours, and wonders if he might be sick again. All he can think about is last night, getting totally drunk and then getting a ridiculous idea to… oh God, he asked Jackie and Martin out, didn’t he? Why is he so stupid?
Still, he has to make amends, to apologise for putting his neighbours through something so embarrassing. Which is why he walks up to the front door of the Goodman family’s house, stomach churning with more than just nausea.
When the door opens, Jackie stares at him with wide eyes. And then she blushes slightly, ducking her head. “Oh, hi, Jim.”
“H-Hello, Jackie,” he says, gripping Wilson’s lead handle tightly and rubbing his fingers over the leather. “Can I… talk to you?”
“Um, yeah, I suppose so. Come in, Jim. It’s Jim, Martin!”
Martin walks out of the kitchen, not wearing a top. Just like the dozens of other times he’s seen Martin topless these last few months, Jim hopes he isn’t blushing.
“Oh, it’s Jim,” Martin mumbles, more to himself than anyone else.”
Jackie steps to the side and lets Jim into the house, and he and Wilson wander into the living room. His head throbs again.
Once the three of them are sat down, Jim begins his heavily-rehearsed speech. “Um, Jackie, Martin, I… want to apologise for last night. I was very drunk and I guess I decided to do something I was too scared to say because I was drunk. And I… I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. Sorry.”
Jackie and Martin look at each other, and Jim wishes he could know what their expressions mean. And whilst Martin looks like he wants to die of embarrassment, Jackie smiles and…
And reaches across the gap between the sofas and pats Jim’s hand. What?
“Jim, we…” Martin trails off, bright red.
“Jim, we’ve, um… we had a long chat last night,” Jackie says, and Jim just stares, eyes wide. “And we’ve decided something. We… we’d like to try your suggestion.”
Jim finds himself gasping, still staring. “But… I thought you didn’t want me.”
Jackie’s smile falters. “No, we didn’t mean it like that, Jim. It was just… a lot to take in.”
Martin nods. “Yeah, that’s it. Look, we’ve known you for ages and you’re a bit weird, but—”
“Martin!” Jackie says.
“But so am I,” Martin finishes, staring at her. “And, well, it’s worth a try, isn’t it?”
Jim stares at them both, a smile twitching on his lips. “R-Really?”
Jackie nods, smiling again. “Yes, really. What do you think?”
“I, I… this is amazing, Jackie, Martin,” Jim says, grinning. “Thank you so much. I…”
He doesn’t know how things will work out, but this is going to be amazing. Totally amazing.