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Chapter Text

Your POV

You are having a calm, peaceful day in the Avengers Compound. Tony is tinkering, Bruce is experimenting, Steve, Bucky, Natasha, T'Challa, and Sam are training, Wanda and Vision are flirting, Peter is doing World Civ homework, Rhodey is napping, Scott is Skyping his thief buddies, Thor is visiting Heimdall, and you are reading Harry Potter for the kajillionth time. It is a fairly normal day.

You shift a little to find a more comfortable position on the couch, and snuggle in your hoodie and blanket, submerging yourself into the wondrous world of J.K. Rowling. Reading the part where [*SPOILERS*] you find out Sirius is innocent and Scabbers is Wormtail and guilty never gets old.

Thor suddenly barges into the room, and you lower The Prisoner of Azkaban . "Hey Thor. How's Asgard?" you say in greeting.

Thor frowns. "I bear solemn news, [Y/N]."

"What happened?" you ask with concern.

"I'll say once the rest of the team are here."

"FRIDAY, can you tell everyone to get over here?" you ask.

"Of course, [Y/N]," FRIDAY responds. In a few moments, the rest of the Avengers are there.

"Yo, wassup, Thor!" Clint shouts.

"A new problem for us," Thor says, still frowning seriously. You frown as well. Usually Thor is so cheerful. This must be a big problem.

"What is it, Pointbreak?" Tony asks.

"Loki has once again faked his death, and Heimdall has found him on Midgard, but he can no longer find him," Thor says.

Everyone sighs. "Not again," you say.

"Why are we even surprised? This is like the third time!" Scott says.

"Fifth, actually," Bruce corrects.

"Really, it's been that much?" Scott says in legitimate surprise. "Huh. We should really stop assuming he's dead."

"We really should," Sam agrees.

"Where did Heimdall see him?" Vision asks.

"In Queens, of the State of York the New," Thor answers.

"Queens!" Peter says worriedly. His aunt lives there, so he naturally is worried for her wellbeing.

"What could he be up to this time?" Steve wonders.

"Nothing good, I'm sure," Natasha says.

"We need to find him and stop him before there's a hole in Queens," Bucky says.

"Agreed," T'Challa says.

"How do we find him?" Wanda asks.

"FRIDAY can search for him," Rhodey answers.

You stay quiet as the rest of the Avengers make a plan to stop Loki hopefully once and for all. You are the newest recruit, and everyone, other than maybe Peter, has more experience than you at superheroing. They could make a better plan than you ever could.

"That sound good, [Y/N]?" Steve asks.

You smile. "Of course, Cap. Tell me what to do, I'll do it."

Steve assigns jobs to everyone and they get on a quinjet heading for Queens.

You land in Queens. You hurry to your position, making sure the earpiece works. Thor, Steve, Tony, and T'Challa are heading for Loki. Sam, Bucky, Rhodey, Natasha, Clint, and Scott are just behind them. Wanda, Vision, Peter, and you are securing a perimeter silently, getting people out of the five block radius of Loki. Bruce is in the quinjet, ready to come and help out if it's a Code Green.

You listen to what's going on with Thor, Steve, Tony, and T'Challa. "Loki!!! We know it's you!!!" Thor roars.

"I see you and your pesky team have found me, how delightful," Loki says.

"Alright, what do you have planned, Rock of Ages?" Tony asks in annoyance.

"Nothing you need to know, Stark," Loki replies.

"Loki, you're coming with us!" T'Challa says.

"Am I though, Your Highness?" Loki responds.

"Yes, you will, Loki," Steve says.

"Ah, Captain, I'm afraid I'm not really here."

Tony swears a little. "It was an illusion! Loki could be anywhere near you guys!"

You hold your hands out, feeling the fire light in your palms, as you ready yourself for an imminent Loki attack. You hear Wanda scream and you run to find her, careful not to set anything ablaze. Loki is standing over Wanda who is on the floor, not moving. This angers you, and you charge forward with your flames.

"Ah, it's Blaze," Loki says. "I'm afraid I don't know you all too well."

"Are we gonna stand here and talk or am I gonna kick your arse?" you ask.

Loki smirks. "Neither." He runs the rest of the distance between the two of you and draws a knife. You block his attack and throw a ball of flame at him. He dodges just barely and the fireball hits a Honda behind him. "I'd be a little more careful if I were you."

You are mad at him for all the grief he's caused the team, especially Thor and the rest of Asgard, and you know he's just provoking you for the fun of it.

You set both of your hands on fire and come at him. Loki dodges and sticks his knife in your face. You grab the knife and melt the tip off. You punch Loki in the face with a fiery fist. Just as Loki recovers, he gets hit in the back of the head with Mjolnir. Loki falls to the ground and you see the Vision behind him.

"I thought you could use some assistance," Vision says.

"I mean, we are a team, aren't we Vis?" you say. You step away from Loki and move towards Wanda's unconscious body. "She doesn't look hurt."

Right then Thor lands next to you and Vision. "You have vanquished Loki, Vision and [Y/N]!"

You stand back up. "Yeah, Thor, can you take Loki back to the quinjet? So Vision can help his sweetheart," you say teasingly.

Thor chuckles. "Yes, Vision must help his lover."

"Will you two please stop?" Vision asks uncomfortably.

Scott enlarges out of nowhere next to Vision and leans on his shoulder. "Naw, Vis, it's been, what, two, three years? How have you two not kissed yet?"

You know Vision would have a red face if his face was not already naturally red. "Please, just stop."

"Oh, are we making fun of Vision for not being with Wanda yet?" Tony says over the comms. "Count me in."

"I'm in on this too, Vis," Natasha says.

"Sorry, Vision. One time Nat was bugging me about this and I ended up jumping out of a quinjet without a parachute," Steve says.

You laugh. "Is that true, Nat?"

"Yep, y'know, Steve, Kristen really would've said yes."

"Romanoff!"

You laugh once again. "Okay, who here has had a good love life? We need to hook Vis up with some advice!" Sam says.

"I've got Pepper," Tony answers.

"Steve had Peggy and apparently could've had Kristen, whoever she is," Bucky says.

"I have a wife and three kids, guys," Clint responds.

"I had a thing with Jane," says Thor.

"I have Nakia," T'Challa replies.

"Um, I dated this one girl, Liz, for a hot sec, but her dad was a supervillain, so, yeah... I have a crush on this one girl, so if anyone has advice..." Peter says.

"We'll help ya too, Pete. As for me, I got married and had a daughter. But when I burgled Vista Corp, my wife divorced me. But there is someone I'm looking into..." Scott says.

"So we need to help Vision, Peter, and Scott get the girl, guys," Rhodey says.

"What about you, [Y/N]? Anyone you interested in?" Steve asks.

You shrug. "No one at the moment, I don't think."

"This is hilarious , but can ya guys get into the quinjet? Thor and I are waiting here with Loki," Bruce says.

"Thank you, Bruce," Vision says, clearly uncomfortable.

"Oh, this conversation will continue when you're in the quinjet, Vision," Bruce responds.

"Okay, Vis, you take Wanda," you say, winking at him. He gently lifts Wanda off the ground and flies elegantly to the quinjet.

"Well done, Vision, well done," Tony says, making you laugh and Vision grow more uncomfortable.

The Avengers quickly rush to the quinjet to go to the Compound. Vision quickly hides himself from the team to avoid the uncomfortable situation of conversing about his flirting with Wanda. Unfortunately for him, Scott shrinks himself to go through the vents to find him. Scott comes back, dragging Vision by his cape. "Vis, you've got to be there when Wanda wakes up!" Scott drags Vision to a chair by the metal cot he had laid Wanda down on and pushes him down to sit. "Now stay there and do cute, lovey, emotional things when she wakes up." Vision doesn't bother to fight against Scott, knowing it'll happen someday and secretly wanting it.

"How long have you known about me and Wanda?" he asks.

"Since I first met you two," you say.

"Heck, we could tell during Sokovia, Vision," Steve says.

"Is it that obvious?"

"Oh yeah, it is!" Rhodey says.

"So, Pete, Scott, who are these girls I'm hearing about?" Natasha asks.

"So, uh, there's this girl, MJ, she's in aca-deca with me," Peter says.

"Ooh, the smart girl from academic decathlon? You, Scott?" Bruce says.

"Um, the daughter of the guy who made my suit. Her name is Hope. She's like a super smart quantum physicist," Scott says.

"A quantum physicist? And the daughter of Hank Pym?" T'Challa says.

Scott smirks. "A little more than a scientist, but I'm sworn to secrecy."

Everyone continues to tease the three lovebirds as they arrive at the Compound. Wanda wakes up and has a cute moment with Vision, which makes everyone happy for the two of them. When you all get to the Compound, Thor sets Loki in a glass prison.

"Loki will still be unconscious for maybe fifteen minutes, my friends," Thor informs y'all.

"Chill," you say, which, thinking about it, is a little ironic, given your powers.

"When he wakes up, we need to find out what he's doing in New York," Bucky says. "Nat, can you standby to question him?"

"Sure can, Buck," Natasha replies. "I'll call for assistance if needed.

You leave and go back to Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban , figuring Natasha has it covered. You got Loki fairly easily, without major injury to Wanda or anyone else and limited collateral damage. It was only really that car you accidentally burned. Everything will be fine!

Except, this is Loki we're talking about.

You never have any idea what's happening.

But, it's not going to be fine.

Chapter Text

Natasha's POV

Natasha walks into the room where Loki is contained. Loki is standing, is back to Natasha, arms behind his back. He stands in the glass containment box, similar to the one used when the Avengers and S.H.I.E.L.D. first captured him. Loki turns to Natasha, a smirk on his face.

"This feels all too familiar, Agent Romanoff," Loki says. "When we first spoke in this format, it was due to the fact that I had stolen the Tesseract. Tell me, what are your reasons now?"

"I am hoping you'll tell me," Natasha says. "What are you doing on Earth?"

Loki shrugs. "Nothing much at the moment, I'd say so."

"Then why come to Earth?" Natasha asks.

"Oh, Midgard--or Earth, as you call it--is better suited to my needs than other worlds in Odin's reign," Loki says calmly.

"And what are your needs?"

Loki shudders. "Anything is better than the Asgardian prison."

"Well, you're back in a cell, Loki."

"Trust me when I say this is better."

"You aren't exactly the most trustworthy individual," Natasha says, a hint of doubt in her voice.

"Neither are you, Agent Romanoff," Loki says, stepping forward in his cell. Natasha keeps her same emotionless face on, but fails to cover her look of dismay for a split second. "If I can recall from our first conversation, you have a very red ledger, dripping with blood. Tell me, has that changed at all?"

Natasha smirked. "Oh, it's just as red. Red with the blood of evildoers."

"And red with the blood of civilians. Oh yes, in my brief moment of freedom, I saw what happened. Tell me, what is the blood count of everyone who died in your battles?"

"Lower than what it would have been if I didn't interfere."

"I see." Loki stepped back from the glass. "Well, you have absolutely no reason to hold me. Have I done anything that would suggest I have plans? Because I don't. Oh well, I doubt you'd feel comfortable letting me go. Give my brother my regards." With that, Natasha leaves, frustrated with the frost giant.

Loki's POV

No .

Thor's POV

Thor stands in the hall, waiting for Natasha to come, bearing news of Loki. Natasha comes out, frustration displayed on her face. "Natasha, what news do you bear concerning Loki?" he asks.

"None," Natasha says. "He claims to be here for no reason, just because he likes Earth. I don't believe a word of it, but all he's done is manage to change the subject."

Thor sighs. Loki tends to do that a lot. "Let me try. I'm his brother. Maybe I can figure something out."

Thor walks into the prison, Loki's eyes piercing into his own. "Hello, brother," Loki says. "Did you finally decide to speak to me, after all this time?"

"Yes, I have, in fact," Thor says. "After we've found three Infinity Stones in a small span of time, I figured it might be wise to see what is amiss in the universe. I figured that might be a little more important."

"And what have you found?"

"Nothing much other than whispers of an Infinity Stone on Xandar," Thor admits. "Maybe I should have dedicated more time to our brotherhood, Loki."

"Perhaps," Loki says, a hint of sadness on his features. "As I told Agent Romanoff, I have no malignant plans for Midgard. Other than my previous crimes, I see no reason to hold me here."

"You escaped the prison on Asgard. You have yet to fulfill your sentences of treason and murder," Thor reminds Loki.

Loki cocks his head. "No, I haven't. But would not my aid against Malekith reduce my time?"

"It has, in my book. If you had not escaped prison, you would've been out sooner, brother."

"I see." Loki turns away from Thor. "Carry on with thy duties, brother."

Loki's POV

Oh, certainly no .

Wanda's POV

Wanda had heard what had happened when Thor and Natasha had tried to question Loki. Now, as she walks determinedly across the hall, she decides that she must try to find answers herself. She swings the door open to find Loki calmly sitting on the floor, the same smirk still on his face.

"Ah, Scarlet Witch, is it not?"

"Cut the jokes, Loki. Why'd you come here?!"

"A little short on patience today? Well, I apologize for our earlier meeting today that resulted in your unconsciousness. Trust me, Blaze and Vision avenged you."

"Why. Are. You. Here?"

"No particular reason." Loki smirks. "Now why are you free while I'm in prison?"

"What did you say?" Wanda asks angrily.

"We both have done dreadful things, Miss Maximoff. So why aren't our roles reversed?"

"Because one of us is still a criminal," Wanda snaps.

"From a certain point of view."

Frustrated and angry, Wanda storms out of the room.

Loki's POV

Possibly .

Vision's POV

Vision finds Wanda storming down the hallway. "Wanda, what is the matter?"

"Loki, that jerk," Wanda mutters.

Vision pulls Wanda into an embrace and she leans against his artificial body. "I know he is. What did he do?"

"Well, I just went in to question him. Got nothing. Nat and Thor also tried. He just turns everything around and makes it personal ."

"Perhaps I can try. After all, I'm an android. I'm not supposed to be personal," Vision suggests.

"But you are, Vis."

"He doesn't know that." Vision broke from the embrace. "I'll go now." He gives one last smile to Wanda and goes in to question Loki.

Loki is sitting on a small chair when Vision enters. He smirks. "The Vision, correct?"

"You are correct, Loki," Vision says calmly. "What are your intentions on Earth?"

Loki shrugs. "Perhaps I haven't thought that far yet."

"Then why Earth?"

"As I told your friends, it is preferable to the other Realms of Asgard. I'm afraid you won't get a better answer. So keep sending the Avengers, you won't find anything."

"I'm told you have a knack for personal discussions," Vision says calmly. "Is that tiring? You've done it thrice, but not with me."

"Doing that with Miss Maximoff was enough to get to you," Loki replies, a smug look on his face.

It is true , Vision thinks. Hurting her hurts me .

"Love is a strong motivator," Vision admits. His anger grew, but he couldn't let it control him.

"Oh, I'm aware." Loki smirks. "Tell me, is it not also a weakness?"

"A weakness that strengthens the one lucky enough to have it."

"I'm afraid you don't know what a weakness is, Vision."

Vision turned. "Very well, you will not reveal anything."

Loki's POV

Fascinating, but no .

Steve's POV

"So we know nothing?"

"That is correct, Captain Rogers," Vision affirms.

Steve sighs. "And how many have questioned him?"

"Everyone but you and [Y/N]," Wanda answers.

"I'll go try, I guess." Steve strides to Loki's cell. When he gets there, Loki has his back to him.

"Captain Rogers, the soldier out of time," Loki says as he turns to face Steve. "Still haven't given up on finding the reason for my appearance here? Because you won't find one."

"I can still try Loki." Steve begins to circle around the tubular cell. "But it doesn't matter too much. You're here because you stole the Tesseract, mind controlled some friends of mine, and brought the Chitauri to attack New York. Even if you were planning on doing nothing, you still have done plenty of crimes."

"You are correct, Captain. So why are you convinced that I have troublesome plans?"

"One hundred percent of your appearances before have led to mass destruction. So what are the odds you have something sinister planned?"

"There's a first time for everything."

"Yes, there is. But forgive us for doubting the word of the God of Mischief."

"Understandable." Loki smirks. "But if there is a reason, you won't find out."

"Lucky for me, there's still another Avenger."

"Ah, Miss [L/N]? Please, send her in. I'm intrigued by her."

Steve hesitates, not knowing if it would be a good idea to bring [Y/N] to Loki if Loki was so keen for it.

"She is probably the only one that can learn a hypothetical reason why I'm here."

Steve sighs. "Maybe." He turns and leaves Loki in silence.

Loki's POV

If all else fails, him. But let's see what Blaze has to offer .

Your POV

You're still reading Harry Potter when Steve walks into your room. "[Y/N]? Can we talk?"

You close the book and sit up on your bed. "Yeah, sure thing, Cap."

Steve comes and sits down next to you. "Loki is being worse than we've expected."

"He is?"

"Yeah. And he's told me that he'd maybe talk to only one of the Avengers."

"Everyone but Peter and I have questioned him." You sigh.

"Loki specifically mentioned you , [Y/N]." Steve hesitates. "I know you dislike doing this sorta stuff, but we might need you to."

You sigh. "Well, Peter can't do it anyway. His aunt would kill us all if he did. I'll go."

"If you ever feel like you need to leave him, leave. We've all left him today."

"Okay."

"And I'll be just outside the door, [Y/N]. If you need help, I'll be there."

You take a deep breath. "Okay Steve. I'll be there in ten minutes."

You throw something on that's better suited to the situation. When you're ready, you go to the hall his cell is in. Steve is waiting outside. "You need anything-"

"I know, Cap. I got this." Steve can be really protective of the team. He knows everyone can handle themselves, but that doesn't necessarily mean he should let the team handle themselves. Steve just doesn't want you getting hurt. But he knows you kick arse, so he'll stand back and let you do your job.

You open the door to face Loki. He is staring right at you, the hint of a grin on his face. "So we meet again."

"Only because Cap asked me to. He said ya said something about me."

"Indeed I did, Miss [L/N]. Indeed I did."

You shrug. "So why d'ya wanna talk to me?"

"I find you quite... intriguing ."

"And why is that?"

Loki smirks. "We'll have to wait and see. I believe your job is to question me, Miss [L/N]."

You sigh. "Why come to Earth?"

"I want something in my life."

"And what would that be?"

"What do you want out of your life?"

That question throws you off guard. "I'm not sure I know."

"It is a difficult question. But when you know the answer you, my dear, will stop at nothing to reach it."

"That doesn't answer my question. Why are you on Earth?"

"I think what I need might be here."

"And what is that?"

"Now, that is a little secret of mine."

"What are your intentions in this world?"

"Oh, believe me, Miss [L/N], you'll be surprised. So will your pesky friends."

Loki's POV

Yes! Definitely yes!

Your POV

Suddenly you hear alarms sounding. You turn to Loki. " What did you do?"

Loki smirks. "You wanted to know what my intentions are. It's time to find out.

"[Y/N]? Are you okay?" Steve asks through the comms.

"Yeah, I'm fine. What's going on out there?"

"When Loki knocked out Wanda, he must have done something to her."

You turn to face Loki, your face not hiding your anger. "What did you do to Wanda?"

"Simple spell, really. Don't fret, she'll be fine." He snickers. "But I also used an even simpler spell." Suddenly, he disappears.

"Steve! I've got a problem!"

"What is it, [Y/N]?"

"We locked up one of Loki's fake selves."

You hear Steve swear. "Where is-" The comms fail.

"Loki?!" you shout. "Show yourself!"

You hear a voice behind you. "Trust me, this is the real me."

You flip around to see him standing confidently between you and the door. "What are you doing?" you ask.

"You'll see. I believe we were interrupted last time we fought."

You ignite your hands. "You aren't getting away with this!"

"Oh, I will."

You throw a fireball at him, and he deflects it with his magic. "I love your abilities, but let's change the playing field." Loki's hands start glowing and you cautiously look at them. Suddenly, Loki hurls the golden-green light at you. Unable to deflect or dodge, it hits you dead on. You don't feel any different though. Your hands extinguished themselves, but other than that you're fine.

You raise your arms in a fighting stance, and ignite your hands. Well, you try to at least.

I can't use my powers! I can't use my powers! You panic as you try to ignite your powers again.

" That wasn't as simple of a spell." Loki smirks. "Don't worry, you still have your powers, my dear. You just can't access them." He draws a knife. "How well can you fight without them?"

You gulp down your fear and prepare to fight. Lately, Natasha, Bucky, and Steve had been teaching you and Wanda how to fight without your powers. You much prefer your fire, but fists can also work.

Loki closes the gap between you and him and begins to fight. You fend off his attacks, but you know he's toying with you. He could defeat you in seconds if he wants to.

"You aren't too bad, [Y/N]. Besides, we'll have plenty of time to improve your skills."

"What do you mea-" Before you can finish, Loki slams the hilt of his knife into the side of your head. Your vision darkens and you lose your balance. Before you hit the ground, Loki catches you in his arms. You slip into unconsciousness.

The last thing you hear is Loki gently whispering in your ear, " This is what I mean."

Chapter Text

Steve's POV

Steve leans against the wall, waiting for y/n to come out. She is interrogating Loki, after Loki's request to speak with her. Steve worries for her. Y/n is new to superheroing, and Loki isn't known as the god of mischief for nothing. He doesn't want y/n getting hurt.

Suddenly, Wanda comes, strutting down the hallway. "Wanda, everything okay?" Steve asks. Wanda doesn't answer, and comes close to Steve. "Wanda?" Wanda remains silent, and Steve grows worried. He looks into her bright green eyes. Red wisps gather around her hands. Steve looks worriedly into her glowing red eyes as she wields her power. At least, they should be red. Instead they're green.

"Crap!" Steve says as he dodges her blast of energy. FRIDAY blasts an alarm. Darn you, Loki! "Y/n, are you okay?" Steve asks as he and the other Avengers try to stop Wanda.

"Yeah, I'm fine. What's going on out there?" Y/n answers.

"When Loki knocked out Wanda, he must have done something to her."

After a few minutes, y/n shouted, "Steve, we've got a problem!"

"What is it, y/n," Steve asks anxiously.

"We locked up one of Loki's fake selves."

Steve cusses, desperate for y/n. "Where is Loki, y/n? Do you see him?"

The response is static.

Steve rips the comms out of his ears. "Y/n's in there alone with Loki, who's not in his cell. Loki did something to Wanda to distract us!" he shouts to the team.

Peter falls off the ceiling next to Steve after Wanda attacks him. Steve and Clint check to make sure he's okay. "Mr Barton, Miss Romanoff told me something she did when you were mind controlled by Loki. Mental recalibration, I think?"

"Should work," Clint says. "Buck! Mental recalibration!"

"Already on it!" Bucky shouts back as he rams his flesh fist into the back of Wanda's head. Wanda falls onto the ground, and Vision is immediately at her side. "Sorry, Vis. I tried to hit only just hard enough to knock her out."

"I understand, Sergeant Barnes," Vis says, completely forgiving.

"Vis, stay here with Wanda. Everyone else, let's deal with Loki," Tony says.

Sam tries to open the door, but it doesn't budge. "Will someone with super strength do something about this?" he says as he steps aside.

"Indeed, my friend," Thor says as he knocks Mjolnir into the door, sending it flying into the room.

The Avengers storm in, ready to help y/n and stop Loki.

"Hello, Avengers," Loki says menacingly, or rather, the Lokis. Loki is using magic to make illusion versions of himself, twenty of them. Each one of them is carrying an unconscious y/n.

"Brother, what is the meaning of this?" Thor shouts.

"Someday, you'll understand," Loki says pensively. He snaps out of his thoughts. "For now though, it's my little secret."

"Let y/n go!" Steve shouts, worry filling his eyes.

"Unfortunately for you, Captain, you don't have the option to tell me what to do."

"And you have limited options as well," T'Challa says. "Let her go, and maybe we can conduct in a civilized manner."

"Tempting bargain, your Highness, but no."

"Thor, is there a way to know which Loki is the real Loki?" Scott asks. Steve looks around and sees Scott is nowhere in sight. He smirks. Scott certainly knows how to use the element of surprise.

"Yea, the fake ones will let an airborn object right through it," Thor muttered.

"On it. Stall for me."

"Why y/n, Loki? You didn't break out until I let her in, why her?" Steve asks, trying to give Scott time.

"I was curious. Besides, I can't abduct someone who's insufferable. Gods, I'd probably give some of you back."

"I'm gonna take that as a compliment," Tony says, already knowing Loki is referring to him.

"Okay, guys! The real Loki is the second to the left and I'm right above him! Do you want me to attack? I'm afraid that if I do, I'll hurt y/n," Scott says.

"Anyway you can attack without hurting her?" Steve mutters.

"I'll probably be fine, I'm just paranoid. I'm super worried about y/n," Scott says.

"Aren't we all?" Natasha says softly. "Go for it."

Scott enlarges as he contacts Loki's shoulder, whipping around them, trying to get him to fall over. Loki doesn't budge and uses Scott's momentum against him, knocking him to the ground. "Fools! I'm no mortal, I'm a frost giant! Your strength is insignificant compared to mine!"

"Yep, did not think of that," Scott says as he stands up. "Just hand y/n over, and it'll be a heck of a lot simpler, Loki."

Loki laughs. "Certainly not. Farewell." Loki uses magic to create dozens more illusions until there is at least fifty in that room. Steve tries to keep up with the real Loki, but soon looses him in the ground. He can't throw his shield at the Lokis in order to find the real one; it could hurt y/n or another member of the team. Then suddenly, all the Lokis are gone.

"Wanda!" we hear from the hallway. Steve runs to see what's happened.

"Oh no!" he says.

"You aren't too bad, y/n. Besides, we'll have plenty of time to improve your skills," Loki tells y/n.

"What do you mea-" Wanda gasps as Loki thrusts the hilt of a knife into her skull.

"This is what I mean?" Loki whispers as he catches y/n's limp body.

Please, don't, Loki!

"Oh, Wanda, someday you'll understand."

Ow!

"Oh, your friend, Barnes, just knocked you out. But let's keep you right here right now."

Why are you doing this?

"I have my reasons."

Wanda watches as the Avengers try and fail to stop Loki from disappearing with y/n.

Please!

"I have one more thing I need from you, Miss Maximoff." Wanda's vision switched to her, attacking Vision.

No!

"Oh, yes! You're going to fight your friends until I get y/n to the safety of my lair. Don't worry, I still won't use you to kill them. And once I get away, I'll leave your head. For now."

Please!

But Loki didn't respond to Wanda's screams and begging, forcing her to fight until he left.

Loki smiles contently as he, through the use of magic, watches as the Scarlet Witch stops the Avengers from even leaving the Compound. Sighing, he stops controlling Wanda's body. Fun can only last so long, Wanda.

"Where did you take y/n? Wherever you are, we'll find you!"

And I welcome your attempts, but you won't find her. She's my little pet now, and you won't be getting her back.

"Please..."

Loki didn't respond, and cut Wanda's end of the communication. Loki focused on his reality: a living room with sparse amounts of furniture. He gently places y/n on a sofa, brushing h/c hair out of her face, smiling.

Now, for the next phase of my plan!

•••

Y/n's POV

You wake up, your head throbbing. You groan, neck sore, presumably from sleeping in an odd position. You woke up in a sitting position, but you didn't want to get up yet, so you tried to go back to sleep. You couldn't hear anything around you, so you assumed the other Avengers had dealt with everything. Unable to sleep, you move your arm to rub your sore neck. Except, your arm is being stopped at your wrist from moving by something coarse.

You flicker your eyes open, curious to know what is happening. The room you're in is dark, and it takes a few minutes for your pupils to dilate. Squinting, still not adjusted to the lack of lighting, you look to see where you are. You see a table with some items on it, but you can't tell what the items are. Beside the table is a chair and a bar stool. The floors are tile and the walls are cement. You shiver, the temperature being lower than you'd like. A few lights dangle from the ceiling, but aren't turned on. A heavy looking steel door is several feet in front of you. You move your attention to yourself. You're seated on a semi-comfortable wooden chair. You're arms are stuck to the sides. You bend over to see that your wrists and arm just below your shoulders are tied to the chair. Growing steadily worried, you struggle against the coarse rope, but you can't unravel it. Curious, you kick your legs, or, rather, try to kick your legs. You bend as far forward as you can to see ropes tying your ankles to the wood in the chair near the bottom, attaching the two front legs together.

Where the heck am I? you think as you struggle against the bonds. You recount everything you can remember since Thor came back. Loki's on Earth. He was in Queens, so you and the other Avengers went and captured him. Steve asked you to interrogate Loki. During the interrogation, the others were attacked and Loki attacked you. He used magic to stop you from using your powers. Then he said something odd, something about time to improve your skill. Before you could ask what the heck he was talking about, he knocked you out. Oh, gosh! Did Loki kidnap me?!

You try everything to escape. You try physical strength (not strong enough to break the ropes), your powers (still can't use them), and undoing the knots (too complex to do with one hand), but it was all in vain.

"Hello, my darling," a smug voice says. You look up and see Loki standing a few feet away at you, smirking at your plight. While you were preoccupied trying in vain to escape, he must've entered the room.

"What do you want?" you say hostilely.

"Touchy, aren't we?" Loki mused. "I want a lot of things, and you happen to be one of them. One of the few things I want that I have, in fact."

"Why me?"

Loki comes closer, right next to your chair and begins to circle around you. "Several reasons."

"Like?"

"Oh, I couldn't stand abducting some of your friends. Insufferable, I tell you! I applaud you for the patience you must have to live in the same building as them. I considered Captain Rogers and Miss Maximoff, but you fit my other requirements better than they do."

"And what are your other requirements?" you ask, getting annoyed with Loki's vague answers.

"Now, let's save that for later, my dear," Loki says as he plays with your hair as he circles around you. You straighten and tense as he does.

"Let me go!" you say desperately.

"I'm afraid I can't, my pet." Loki comes in front of you. He reaches his hand out, and you flinch. He places a cold hand on your face, shifting your gaze to lock into his piercing green eyes. He is gentle, but firm, meaning you can't break away. You hold your breath, terrified. "You're going to stay down here as long as I need you here. As you know, magic is hindering the use of your powers. You're bound with Asgardian rope—even if you had a mortal knife, you wouldn't be able to cut them." Loki moves his hand and you exhale. He brushes your hair behind your ears as he smiles gently. "But fear not, my darling. I don't intend to hurt you. In fact, you're much safer now that I have you. You're friends, I'm not so sure what will become of them yet."

"You do with one of them. You mind controlled my friend!"

"Oh, yes, the Scarlet Witch. I did mind control her, didn't I? Don't worry, as of right now, none of your friends are hurt. She and I had a nice little telepathic conversation while I abducted you, and the rest of the team won't think she betrayed you. And I can turn the mind control on and off. It's off, for now, at least." Loki moves behind you and puts his cold hands on your neck. You try to get away from his hands, but the bonds don't let you move much. He begins to massage your neck in its sore spots, which, on the one hand, feels really good, but on the other hand creeps you out. "Have you ever been abducted before?" Loki asks quietly.

"N-no," you say nervously. You are new to being a superheroine, and, despite the commonness of the risk, you had yet to be captured by the enemy.

"I wouldn't expect so. Captain Rogers and Miss Maximoff seemed quite protective of you, as I'd assume the rest of your team is. If another were to capture you, that would be unfortunate for the captor." He pauses, and you sit, struggling a little, tense, while Loki massages your neck. "I'd assume you've heard...negative things about captivity. While I'm sure it's still not the best situation you could be in, I certainly won't treat you foully. In this instance, you are both my captive and my guest. Does this feel better?" Loki moves his hands away from you and you gasp in surprise. What used to be pain has changed into some other sensation. It isn't numb, no, you can feel it. It's more like the feeling you get when you are in a hot tub: relaxed, loose, pleasurable.

"How?"

"Magic. But tell me, does it feel better, or do I need to try another sensation?"

"Yeah, it feels better," you say in amazement.

"Anything for my guest."

"Anything? How about freedom?"

"I can only kidnap one Avenger, my pet. I can't kidnap Captain Rogers for you."

"Not that freedom!"

"Hm? What other freedom is there?" Loki says with a joking smile. He heads for the door. "I have places to be, my dear, but I'll return shortly. Don't burn the house down. I've heard that's a farewell expression on Midgard, and it is particularly appropriate now, don't you think?"

"Haha, very funny," you say in annoyance.

Chapter Text

Loki's POV

Loki quietly shuts the door to y/n's room. He had planned on going on an errand, but instead, he leans against the door, slowly falling to the ground. He rests his head in his arms, distressed.

What have I done? he asks himself. She's terrified, what was I thinking? I should've made a more diplomatic approach! Loki considers the events after diplomacy with the Avengers and, once again, realizes it'd fail.

Loki straightens and takes a deep breath. I can't be having second thoughts. This is the best option, and y/n is much safer now that she's here. And I know that it will work, eventually. It could take days, months, or years, but it'll work eventually.

Together, we'll save the world.

Bucky's POV

What did Loki do?! Bucky's head screams at him as he tries to stop the Lokified Wanda. Wanda uses her power to drop a beam on Bucky. The beam doesn't hurt him too much, but it pins him to the ground. Before Bucky can lift the beam, Wanda builds up a  ball of crimson energy and aims at Bucky. Bucky flinches, but the energy never hits him. The beam is thrown off him and Bucky quickly stands back up to see Wanda falling to her knees, tears streaking down her face.

Bucky crouches down in front of Wanda. "Wanda?"

"I'm so sorry," Wanda says with a shaky voice.

The other Avengers are a few feet away. Vision looks anxious to see Wanda. "Just a sec," Bucky mouths to him. Vision nods.

"It isn't your fault, Wanda," Bucky says in a hushed voice.

"I stopped you from stopping Loki, and I could've hurt you." There is a moment of silence. "How do you live with the guilt?" she says quietly, only loud enough for Bucky to hear.

Bucky sighs. He knew he'd get this question at some point from her, but he had hoped she'd ask Clint first. "It's hard at first, but it gets better. Because it wasn't you, Wanda, it was Loki. You are the victim, not the villain. Tomorrow, you won't be perfect, but it gets better, and slowly the guilt leaves. I know it, Clint knows it."

"Clint?"

Bucky smiles. "You mean he hasn't told you?"

"...No..."

"Oh, you better ask him. Loki mind controlled him when Loki first showed up on Earth?"

"Really?"

"Really. Now, why don't you go rest, Wanda. The rest of us can sort out this mess right now," Bucky says as he helps Wanda up.

"No! While Loki was controlling me, he also talked to me. I might have something that can help!"

"After you rest, Wanda. We don't wanna pressure you right now." Bucky gestures for Vision to come. Vision comes and gently leads Wanda away from the crowd, giving Bucky thanks for comforting Wanda in a way he couldn't.

Bucky looks at the rest of the team, all looking defeated. Y/n's become like a little sister to us all. By kidnapping her, Loki took away the person that's managed to glue us all together, though y/n doesn't really know that she does that. "Do we have any idea where Loki could've taken y/n?"

"I'm currently using every mean available to search for Miss l/n, but I can't find her," FRIDAY says.

"Keep looking for her, FRIDAY," Tony says.

"I'm gonna go talk to Wanda, make sure she's okay," Clint says.

Loki's POV

Midgard, Asgard, Knowhere, Xandar, Loki thinks to himself, reminding himself of the intricacies of the plan. And, linking it all together, y/n. Loki sighs as he makes his way down the stairs leading to y/n's prison. It would be much easier if he could just tell y/n his plan, but if she knew what was to happen, it wouldn't happen. That, and heroes are always so pesky. They either don't believe you or they think you're always trying to kill them. Loki can't just talk to a hero about this, it would make everything much worse than it already is.

Loki pushes the door open. The first time he'd visited her, she didn't notice him until he had spoken to her, as she had been desperately trying to escape. This time, though, at the first sound the door made it opened, y/n moves her attention to Loki. Her eyes are wide with fear. Her eyes always seem to display her emotions more than anything else. Her body is tense, and her lip quivers slightly. Loki steps closer to her, smirking at her helplessness. What was so pleasing seeing her like this? Seeing her as his? Though Loki still feels guilt over the terror he's inflicted on y/n, it was too great a pleasure to see her where she belongs.

"Good afternoon, my pet," Loki drawls in what would appear to be uninterest.

"Let me go!" Y/n says desperately, fear written all over her face and resonating in her voice. Her eyes are pleading for mercy she will not receive. Loki receives both pleasure and guilt from the scene in front of him: guilt for the terror y/n is experiencing, and pleasure for finally having her in his grasp after so long, biding his time, waiting for this golden opportunity.

"I'm afraid I am unable to do so, my darling," Loki sneers. His eyes twinkle in anticipation. Loki walks toward her until he is right in front of y/n and extends his hand to her soft cheek in a gentle fashion. Y/n flinches away from his hand. He advances his hand again and cups y/n's face in his hand, brushing stray strands of hair out of her face with the other hand before he places that hand on her other cheek. Loki locks y/n's fearful gaze with his own in the most gentle way he can. Those brilliant, e/c eyes are so full of fear. He could almost hear her heart rate, the fast beats of the anxiety she is experiencing. She takes short, uneven breaths. Her lower lip is trembling ever so slightly, as if she is trying to hide it. Her brows are scrunched in fear. Loki studies her features as y/n stares back fearfully, too intimidated to speak. As time goes on, her fear grows, but y/n dares not speak at the moment. Loki smirks. "Oh, you are adorable when you are scared, my pet." He isn't lying.

"Please..." Y/n begs quietly, her gaze still locked with Loki's. Loki could feel her shaking from fear and he begins to feel pity for her. This is obviously a terrifying experience for her. Loki sees tears starting to form, threatening to spill down y/n's warm cheeks.

"I do not fault you for your fear, my darling," Loki says. He uses his thumbs to lightly caress y/n's trembling lip as he looks at her with sympathy. She tenses as Loki does so. Her body continues to tremble as a couple tears run down her face. Loki quickly wipes them away with his thumbs. Her cheeks turn a light pink as she tries to break from his grasp. But Loki's grip is firm, and he doesn't let go. "My dear, I will not think any less of you for your tears." Nevertheless, y/n tries and fails to hold her emotions in check. Her eyes are wide, despite the tears they are full of.

"Plea-"

"Hush, my pet. No harm will come to you on my watch. Sh, it'll be alright," Loki interrupts, a soft smile on his face for y/n. He uses his hand to comb through her hair while another remains firmly cupping her face. It is now that Loki truly takes time to fully appreciate how she looks. She is quite stunning, isn't she? Now, he longs to see her smile. Despite how adorable the scared y/n is, people almost always look better when they're happy.

Deciding he ought to let y/n calm down on her own, Loki gives y/n one last encouraging smile and walks off to leave y/n to her own devices.

Clint's POV

Clint knocks softly on Wanda's door. He quietly enters to find her curled up in the Vision's arms. She shakes in his arms as she sobs. Vision is speaking softly, trying to soothe Wanda. Vision nods to Clint, Wanda's surrogate father. He sits down next to the couple and helps Vision calm her down. Once Wanda has run out of tears, she turns to Clint.

"Clint, I need to tell you-"

"I know, Wanda. You can tell me."

"While Loki was mind controlling, he could talk to me telepathically. He was much too vague to get a good answer, though. But he said that the mind control was still in me, but Loki could stop receiving receptions from me. But he said it was only temporarily turned off," Wanda explains.

"So he could mind control you again?" Vision asks worriedly.

"Yes, but maybe I can start a conversation with him now! And I could try and get a straight answer out of him, or at least have him prove to me that y/n is alive."

"You're right," Clint says thoughtfully. "We could trick him into saying something that gives away where they are."

"Exactly. I can try now-"

"No!" Clint and Vision say in unison. "You need time to recover, Wanda," Vision tells her.

"We don't have time for that! For all we know, Loki is torturing y/n as we speak! We need to find her as soon as we can, and I have the best way of finding them!"

"Please, Wanda. Just rest a few more minutes, please," Vision pleads with her.

Wanda sighs. "Okay, Vis. But just a few more minutes."

Clint stands up. "I'll tell the others your plan. And we'll didn't y/n. Whatever it takes."

Clint lightly closes the door behind him and he half ran to Tony. "Tony, Wanda might be able to communicate with Loki!"

"Wait, what?"

Clint paused to catch his breath. "Wanda said that Loki talked to her telepathically while he mind controlled her. Maybe she can talk to him again and at least get proof that y/n is alive. Better yet, maybe she can trick Loki into saying something that will help us find y/n!"

"Telepathy, huh? Maybe Bruce and I can whip something up to aid us here," Tony responds.

"Like what?"

"Maybe I can find a way to track where Loki is from Wanda's end. Maybe...Bruce is much better with the brain than I.... And if all else fails, we could ask T'Challa's sister for some help."

Chapter Text

Tony's POV

"Last Peter told me, Shuri is working on some huge technological breakthrough over in Wakanda," Tony tells Bruce. "I'd hate to draw her away from whatever she is concocting in that glorious lab of hers. Besides, I think the two of us can handle this. You know about the brain and electromagnetic rays, and I know about building the machines that make your knowledge useful."

"You sure, Tony? Look we're dealing with gods and magic. Our science is light years behind theirs," Bruce questions.

"Well, I sure hope I am, for y/n's sake."

Bruce sighs. "Alright, we do this, but if doesn't work out, we're calling Shuri."

"Naturally."

"You better not make another Ultron."

"No, this is gonna be more like another Vision, actually, that is, if it were sentient."

The duo quickly plan out the machine, it being based off of electromagnetic waves, which are simple enough, especially when the world's expert on gamma radiation is building the machine. Once Bruce makes the concept, he and Tony hurriedly build the machine in Tony's laboratory. It doesn't take too long, since Tony already had parts in a half finished project that they redirect for a newer and more important use. 

Tony works late into the night. Bruce leaves for bed at ten, as a full night of sleep aids Bruce in taming the Hulk. But since Tony didn't have the alter ego of a giant green rage monster, he forsakes sleep, the thought of y/n keeping him awake. After all, sleep is for the weak, isn't it?

Loki's not the best at making plans, is he? Tony thinks, welding different machinery together. But very good at pissing people off. Let's do a head count here: the Redhead Assassin Without a Soul, Legolas, the Capsicle, Anger Management Issues, the Thundah from Down Undah, the Newest Skywalker, the Millennium Falcon, the Action Figure, the Light Show, Me But With Bigger Guns, Siri, the Cat in the Hat, and "Radioactive" by Imagine Dragons. Loki pissed us all off, like that, he says, imagining the sound of a snapping finger. Tony fires up the torch again. For his own sake, I hope he hasn't hurt y/n, because I'm not the only one that wants to kill him right now.

He takes a swig of water before he connects his new piece to the almost finished machine. Tony yawns and smiles in amusement. I wonder when I last slept. I really don't know. He takes a seat as he fiddles with the machine with a flathead screwdriver, idly checking to see if it works. He looks over at the picture of y/n and Peter together at Disneyland with Cuzco from Emperor's New Groove, the two of them smiling, having a great time at the park.

Now, where could Loki have taken you, y/n? And what would he want with you? Tony sets the screwdriver down and grabs the framed Disneyland photo Peter had sent him when they were at Disneyland. He looks longingly at y/n, worrying for her wellbeing and missing her. I promise we'll get you back, y/n.

•••

Bruce's POV

"Tony? Tony?" Bruce says as he shakes the man sleeping on the chair in the lab, screwdriver next to him. Tony stirs slowly.

"What is it, Bruce?"

"We need to finish our machine so we can find y/n, Tony," Bruce says softly. 

Tony shoots up once he hears y/n's name. "Right! Loki! Y/n! I'm almost done, it's just one more thing we need to add." Tony hurriedly attaches the final part. "Alright, it's done. We can use it once I make myself some coffee."

Tony runs to the kitchen and accidentally scares Scott in the hall. Bruce rolls his eyes and smiles before he begins to transport the machine to an easier part of the lab to access. 

"FRIDAY, can you tell the team to get here ASAP?" Bruce asks the AI.

"Of course, Doctor Banner," says the disembodied Irish voice. 

Soon, the team is in the room, Tony drinking coffee as he helps set up the machine. Bruce quickly explains to Wanda what the machine will do. "Once you and Loki begin telepathically speaking, Tony and I will use the machine to try to see where Loki is. It might take some time though, so stall." When Wanda nods, Bruce pulls a chair our for her next to the machine. "We're going to stick electrodes to your head, but it won't hurt and it won't mess with your neurology." When she nods, Bruce sticks electrodes around her head. 

"Alright, Wanda. It's up to you to get Loki to talk," Tony says. "You ready?"

"Yes."

•••

Loki's POV

Loki chuckles as he feels Wanda's desperate attempts to contact him. I don't have anything vital at the moment. I may as well entertain her. He opens up communications between her and him. And how may I be of service, Miss Maximoff?

"Where. The. Heck. Did. You. Take. Y/n?" Wanda asks in fury.

Oh, I'm sorry to tell you I can't say. Loki quickly looks through Wanda's eyes to see the Avengers surrounding her and some type of Midgardian machine.

"What do you want with her?"

Loki laughs. You're asking all of the questions I can't answer, Wanda. Try to think of one I can.

"I hate you so, so much because of this."

That was hurtful and uncalled for.

"Uncalled for? You really think that was uncalled for?"

No, I suppose it wasn't.

"If you've hurt her, or killed her, I swear-"

Now, what's the fun in killing her? And why would I unnecessarily hurt her?

"Then prove to me she's alive."

As you wish. Loki allows Wanda to see what he sees. He's in y/n's prison. Just as before, y/n is bound to a chair. Her head leans forward in unconsciousness. As I said, she's alive and unspoiled.

"For now. But what about tomorrow?"

She'll be alive and unspoiled.

"And you are the god of lies."

Trust that y/n is well and will continue to have good health. There's not much more I can say than that. In boredom, Loki begins to mess with y/n's h/c hair, delicately twirling strands of luscious hair in his fingers. Loki feels Wanda tense as he does so. 

"Why her? You could've taken any of us, but you chose y/n. Why?" 

Now, that is a discussion for another day.

"And when is that?"

When more pieces of my plan fall in place.

"What is this plan of yours?"

Now, why would I tell you my plan, Wanda, when you are so determined to do everything to stop me? Loki says as he gently strokes y/n's hair playfully. He smirks as Wanda hesitates to answer. When she doesn't answer, he continues. You and the rest of the Avengers assume far too much. You know nothing of what is happening now. Someday, you'll thank me for all I'm doing now. I await that day, and I'm very patient. 

"What on Earth is that supposed to mean?"

It means someday you'll regret trying to stop me, as will your friends.

"You're delusional."

So I've been told. Loki continues playing with y/n's hair, and he feels Wanda's anger over that simple act.

"Don't you dare touch her, Loki!"

She's my captive, Wanda, I can do as I please. You have no control in this arena.

"Stop it!"

Would you prefer this? Loki tugs on y/n's hair with one hand, pulling her head back to expose her throat. He conjures a dagger in his other hand and holds it above y/n's neck. I'd hate to make a mess. Blood is so difficult to clean up, and this blade is new. But I will if I must.

"No, no, no, no! Loki! Put the knife away!"

I will if you do a little something for me, Wanda, Loki says, smiling.

"What is it?"

Prepare yourself for anything.

"That's an odd request for a villain to have for a hero."

And you will listen if you want your friend to live. You'll thank me on an upcoming date. 

"I will! I promise!"

I'm trusting you, Miss Maximoff. If I were you, I'd do as I say. Loki makes the dagger disappear. He gently repositions y/n's head to the position it was in before. He continues to stroke y/n's hair as if he'd never threatened to kill her before. Any more questions? No? Then you might want to consider awakening.

•••

Tony's POV

"Darn it! Darn it!" Tony says as he looks at the results. 

Bruce looks over his shoulder and sighs. An hour ago, Wanda had contacted Loki. Of course, he was uncooperative, and threatened to slit y/n's throat. During the session, Wanda quickly fell unconscious, but her brain waves showed that she was holding and steady conversation. Not too long later, Wanda woke up gasping, rapidly explaining what she heard and saw. Everyone was relieved that y/n was unharmed, furious that Loki threatened to kill her, and confused by Loki's demand and his mentions of his plan. 

"It didn't work," Bruce says as his face falls. 

"Darn it! I really thought we had it!" An idea comes into his head. "Hey, you know anything about quantum entanglement, Bruce?"

"A little bit."

"You don't think Wanda and Loki-"

"Are entangled? It's possible..."

"Did I hear quantum?" Scott says as he walks into the lab.

"As a matter of fact, you did, Action Figure."

Scott smiles. "I know some quantum physics experts that might be able to help."

"Who?"

"Hank Pym, Janet van Dyne, and Hope van Dyne."

•••

Loki's POV

Loki laughs as he thinks about Wanda's attempt at a telepathic interrogation just over an hour ago. He smirks as he enters y/n's cell. She is still asleep, as Loki suspected, remembering the tiring events she has suffered through. He tidies her hair and strokes it comfortingly.

"I'm so sorry, for everything," Loki says out loud to the unconscious y/n. "Abducting you, limiting your powers, threatening to slit your throat. I'm so dreadfully sorry, though you probably don't believe me." Loki picks at his left palm nervously. "Someday it'll all make sense."

Chapter Text

Your POV

You awaken with a start at the sound of the steel door scraping across the tile floor. You tense and warily watch as Loki enters. He remains silent as he circles you, his gaze as piercing as a saber. You try to follow him with your eyes, but your neck has other plans. To save yourself from a lot of easily avoidable pain, you look forward, grimacing and biting your lip. You hear Loki's footsteps stop and feel his hands brushing hair away and putting his hands on your neck. You shudder as his icy hands rub your sore muscles. You wish you were on a bed, curled up, with a book, with no need to worry about an evil Norse god. 

Before you know it, the pain in your neck is gone. "Th-thank you," you say quietly. It doesn't feel right to be grateful to Loki of all people. 

"My pleasure." 

All your pleasure, none of it mine, you think. Well, I guess the neck thing isn't bad. 

You watch as he walks away and grabs the chair that is by the table and brings the chair to sit facing you. He sits in front of you, a smile playing across his lips. "Sleep well?"

"I guess," you say after a moment of hesitation. Your voice is shaky and quiet. You chew at your lower lip in worry. 

"I'm sorry for the discomfort," Loki says. "We'll just have to work around that."

You want to shrink away, melt into the chair, anything to escape this feeling of helplessness. Though you hate to admit it, there's nothing you can do. Your fate lies in the hands of Loki Laufeyson. You aren't exactly able to fight back against anything. You have had good fortune thus far. But that can turn around at any moment. You shudder thinking about it.

"Now, now, what did I tell you? You need not be frightened of me, dear." You shift as much as you can and face the ground. You feel Loki's gaze boring through you like a bullet. "I do intend on keeping my word. I did promise you'd be unharmed." Do you honestly expect me to believe that? You didn't respond, not knowing how to do so. 

Suddenly, his fingers are under your chin, pulling it up gently. "I swear I will not hurt you, y/n." You make eye contact, your eyes wide. You bite your lip to stop it from trembling. Loki shows no signs of hostility. Only concern. His eyes holds kindness, his lips are curved in a sympathetic smile. How can he look so concerned when he's the reason I'm here?

"Please, at least tell me why I'm here," you say in your trembling voice. 

"I'm sorry, but I can't. Not yet, at least."

"W-why?"

Loki sighs. "It's...complicated. You'll understand one day." Loki smiles kindly at you. "But, I swear, on my mother, I will not hurt you, nor will you be hurt by others. You're safe here, with me, protected." 

On his mother? You think back to everything Thor told you about his family dynamic. I think he said Loki and Frigga were close before Frigga was killed. You push back other thoughts that threaten to overtake you, thoughts you would prefer to not have. 

"But I'm safe at home," you mutter quietly.

"Your friends would try to protect you, yes, but they can't. They're brutally unprepared. I know what is to come, and I can keep you safe."

"Why do you want me safe? Why protect me?"

"I know you must be tired of hearing this, but now's not the time."

"What about them?" you ask worriedly. You'd never forgive yourself if the rest of the Avengers got hurt, or worse, killed.

"Your friends? I'm hoping they all survive." Loki moves his hand from your chin to your cheeks, flicking a stray tear away gently. 

"W-why me? Why not anyone else on the planet?"

"That is quite a tale," Loki replies with a smile. "One I'll tell you shortly."

"Why won't you tell me anything?" It doesn't sound like he's refusing to tell me. It sounds like he can't tell me. Which is...odd.

"My darling, I need some events to happen, and I don't know if they will if I tell anyone what I need, including you." Loki moves his hand from your face and you let out a sigh of relief. "But fear not, my pet, you'll benefit from this, I promise."

None of this makes sense. You scrunch your eyebrows in confusion. He keeps trying to comfort me, trying to tell me he's protecting me, but he kidnapped me and tied me to a chair for Pete's sake! How does this make any sense to him?

"It's a lot to process, I know," Loki says. "Someday you'll thank me."

"Someday I'll thank you for tying me to a chair and using magic on me?" You sound very unimpressed. What is he playing at exactly? None of this makes any sense at all.

"I'm certain, my darling, you will be thanking me."

Loki's POV

This isn't going as planned. Loki had intended to make y/n more comfortable until some arrangements could be made. Instead, he was both scaring her and angering her. Fear and anger. Not two of Loki's preferred emotions. He's had his fair share of them, rather, more than his fair share. Much more than a fair share. He didn't want to inflict those emotions on her.

She did have a point though. Despite everything he's told her, she's still tied to a chair. He still kidnapped her. He still ripped her from her home, from her friends, from her life. How could she ever feel safe around me, regardless of how I treat her? Perhaps I should have kept her unconscious? I could do that now, I suppose, but that very well could make it much worse. Loki sighs. I just have to keep this going. 

Loki looks into y/n's warm eyes with sadness. So much fear and anger. She doesn't seem to know what to say, and neither does Loki, for that matter. This is not going in the direction he wanted it to. 

"How long are you keeping me?" Y/n's voice shakes slightly. "Are you going to keep me my whole life?" Her breathing hitches and tears threaten to flood out. Tears of fear and anger

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, darling. Not nearly that long. Just a short while. When our business together is done, you can leave, my darling." A glint of hope radiates in y/n's eyes and Loki smiles. "It will be over before you know it. Any more questions?"

"Y-yes," y/n stutters. She hesitates, not seeming to know how to put her feelings to words. "What type of spells did you use on me?" She puts emphasis on the plural ending of spells. 

"I've used three spells. One to prevent you from releasing any flames, one to heal you, and one to keep you in homeostasis. Nothing more, nothing less."

"What does the third spell mean?"

Loki smiles. He had spent a long time completing the spell, knowing it would be of utmost importance in caring for her. "I'm using magic to maintain your body's stability. Anything that needs to go into your body is magically transported into your blood stream. Anything that needs to go out of your body is magically transported out. Food, water, menstruation, and everything else is taken care of, so you do not have to worry."

"I, uh, thank you," y/n says, stumbling through her words.

"You are most welcome, my dear." Loki gently cups her face in his hand. He wipes a few tears away with his thumb, his lips slowly curving up. I wish I could tell you. I wish it didn't come to this, me kidnapping you. But we can't get everything we wish for always, can we? When Loki had touched her just barely, she had flinched, as she had done every other time. But this time, it's different. Y/n starts to lean in to the touch ever so slightly, tears falling. Loki dries her tears and strokes her hair with one hand while still holding y/n with the other. "I'll keep you safe, darling. Don't be frightened. You'll be safe."

"How can I trust you?" Y/n asks quietly, so quiet Loki can barely hear her. 

I suppose I'm not the most trustworthy person in her eyes. "I suppose there's no way to prove my trustworthiness. I swear I've been honest. I only lie when I must, and would I lie now? There's no reason to."

Your POV

Should I trust him? You consider everything he's done. So far, he hasn't really lied to you. But he hasn't actually told you anything really. You still don't know why any of this is happening. "I don't know if I can trust you."

"Which is understandable. I want your trust, but I understand it's probably impossible for me to attain. But please believe that I won't hurt you, that you don't need to fear me."

"I-I'll try, I guess," you say uncertainly.

"Thank you for the effort. Now, I wish I could stay, but I have places to be, things to do. I'll return shortly. Until then, maybe you should get some rest. You look exhausted." Loki stands up and leaves the room, leaving the chair in front of you. Leaving you confused, alone, and tired.

Loki's POV

Loki strolls through the streets of New York with purpose until he's outside a certain building. Bracing himself, he steps in.

He's teleported into an interior room. Smart strategy. The walls are lined with books and magical relics. Behind Loki, a voice rises.

"Loki, son of Laufey. Very bold of you to come here."

Loki turns to see just who he was hoping to find. The man floated toward him, wearing blue robes and the royal red Cloak of Levitation. 

"Doctor Strange. I believe that is your preferred title. I come bearing a warning."

"And why are you warning me?"

"Because of what you're wearing around your neck. The Eye of Agamotto, home to the Time Stone. That is why I am warning you."

Chapter Text

Hope's POV

Hope walks through the doorway into the Avengers Compound worried. When Scott called, he seemed panicky. Hope hadn't heard him so worried before. She knows the Avengers fought Loki not too long ago, but she doesn't know what else has happened lately with the Avengers.

Hope is accompanied by her parents, Hank and Janet, as well as a woman she has never met, Shuri, who says she is the sister of the Black Panther. Scott said something about quantum entanglement and a need for quantum physics experts. If anyone knows about quantum physics, it's Hope's family. Hank and Janet invented the Ant-Man and Wasp suits. Hope helped with the new suits for herself and Scott. And Shuri seems to know about this field as well.

When they finally found the Avengers, Hope, Hank, and Janet attacked Scott with questions, Shuri doing the same to T'Challa.

"Guys, guys! We'll explain!" Scott tells the trio launching questions at him.

"You better. What the heck happened? I've never heard you so desperate!" Hope says.

"Okay, look. Loki showed up in Queens and we went and captured him. It was really easy, too easy. He waited for the perfect opportunity and, and-"

"Loki did what, Scott?" Hank asks.

"He took, he took [Y/N], Hope. He took her." His voice cracks as he tells her this.

"Oh my gosh, Scott, I'm so sorry," Hope says, pulling Scott into a hug. She hasn't ever met [Y/N] before, but she knows she's close with Scott and the rest of the Avengers. 

"It's a long story, but Wanda might be quantumly entangled with Loki, and you guys know quantum physics like no one else. And, I mean, you found Janet when we were quantumly entangled, maybe you can find Loki-"

"So you can find [Y/N]," Janet finishes. 

"Would Stark mind if we use our lab? Well, he better not, all of our entanglement tech is in there," Hank says.

"There's a clearing out back, and I'm sure everyone'd be cool with it if it's gonna help us find [Y/N]," Scott answers.

At that moment, Tony Stark comes to greet them. "Thank goodness, the quantum experts. Thank you so much for coming!"

"It isn't much of a trouble, Mr Stark. We'll help you with your missing persons case," Hope says.

"Thank you. I just finished talking to Shuri, who's like a teen prodigy. We're expanding past Bruce and I because we tried, but it didn't work."

"What did you try?" Janet asks.

"Well, at first we thought it was a like a radio signal, but instead of radios, it's Wanda's and Loki's minds. But that didn't prove true. So we had the idea that maybe they're in some form of quantum entanglement, and we know you're the experts."

"We'll find her. We've already found one person through quantum entanglement," Hank says, holding Janet's hand. "Scott said there's a clearing outside. Our equipment will need to be out there."

"Of course, here, I'll take you out there." Tony leads them outside, everyone else joining up with them half way. "This big enough?" He says it sarcastically, thinking the equipment wouldn't be that large.

"Barely," Hope says with no explanation. Scott takes the lab from Hank and runs out into the middle of the field, sets it down, and runs back. Hank pulls out the remote and presses the enlarge button.

The lab grows in an instance to the size of a skyscraper. It covers most of the clearing. "Dang," Bruce says.

Without paying much attention to the now huge skyscraper, Hope, Scott, Hank, and Janet walk in, everyone following after in confusion. 

The entrance isn't exciting. It would appear abandoned if it weren't for the obvious trail of footsteps in the dust, leading to the elevator. They all fill the elevator and go up to the top floors. The impressive ones.

Scott, Hope, Hank, Janet, and Shuri are pretty unaffected by the massive quantum lab. The others are all on varying levels of amazement. It isn't everyday they see a skyscraper enlarge and a giant quantum lab. Scott used to be like that, until he ended up being there almost as often as Hope.

They sit down and the Avengers tell Hope, Hank, Janet, and Shuri what exactly happened. How they captured Loki in Queens, how they interrogated him, how he mind controlled Wanda and kidnapped [Y/N]. How they tried using radio waves to use Wanda to find Loki, and all they got out of the was a cryptic message from Loki.

Quantum entanglement is possible. And Hope knows how to find someone that's entangled, as she's done it before. And Loki is basically a scientist. It is well known in the scientific community that magic is science that is currently incomprehensible. That would make Loki a scientist. Hope would not be surprised if he knew a thing or two about quantum entanglement.

Luckily, between herself, her parents, Shuri, Bruce, and Tony, Hope is sure they can find [Y/N] if Loki and Wanda really are entangled. 

•••

Your POV

You drum your fingers against the wooden chair, bored out of your mind. You don't know what is better: being tied to a chair and left alone with nothing, or being alone with him while tied to a chair. Before you can ponder on this question, the door opens.

"Good evening, my dear," Loki says as he flips the chair in front of you around to face the door. You are already trembling ever so slightly before he has time to sit down, straddling the seat, arms on the top of the back, slightly leaning forward. You know how this will go. You'll panic, and Loki will comfort you. Well, comfort is the best term you've come up with. But it doesn't make you feel better. It puts you more on edge. You have no clue what Loki's intentions are. Is he trying to manipulate me? Is he trying to throw me off guard? Is he waiting for me to calm down, just to continue whatever he's planned for me? What does he want with me? 

"[Y/N]?" you suddenly hear Loki ask. You flinch out of your thoughts, wondering how long you had been zoned out. You look up at Loki and see his face of concern. You don't know why, but he always seems concerned. You don't know if he's concerned about you or something else, but he's always concerned. You don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. "Do I really scare you that much?"

"Yeah," you answer quietly, chewing on your lip.

Loki sighs. "I suppose that is to be expected, given the circumstances. You have been abducted and stripped of your powers. You have no previous experience of abduction and you do not know what is to be expected. I cannot fault you for your fear, nor do I think any less of you for it." When you don't respond, Loki continues. "I understand your fear."

"What? How?" you ask quietly. How could he understand? What, has he been kidnapped before?

"You seem surprised. I'm familiar with being captured by the enemy."

"I'm sorry if, if this is personal, but when? What happened? Who did it?"

"No need to apologize, my darling. Most recently, I was captured by your friends and brought to Asgard. Unbeknownst to my brother, I was tortured. I have the scars to prove it. If Thor had known, he would never have allowed it. Though we have our disagreances, we both have always believed in civility of imprisonment."

You suddenly are empathizing with Loki somewhat. You had no clue. If Thor didn't know, how would you know? But he was tortured. Loki has done terrible things, but no one should be tortured. Torture, it's barbaric! No one should ever be tortured! No one could ever deserve it! It's absolutely inhumane! 

"It would appear that you share a similar ideology, dear," Loki says, referring to the disgust and shock you aren't bothering to hide. "I was about to tell Thor, when he interrogated me. But I couldn't bring myself to taint his imagery of his father, Odin. Thor truly does love him, and I don't want to drive a wedge in their relationship anymore than I already have."

"Thor would want to know," you respond, louder than your responses have been lately. You also don't stammer or fumble your way through the sentence. "Does Odin know?"

"My best guess is that he ordered it," Loki admits quietly. "I don't want Thor to remember his father this way. Though, I do agree, he would like to know. Perhaps someday he will."

"I, I'm sorry," you mutter. 

"I appreciate the concern, though it is quite alright. I'm not there anymore. But, I'm sure you can see why I won't hurt you. I understand how it is to be tortured. I don't want anyone to ever be tortured. And that includes you, darling [Y/N]. Now, what to do, what to do?" You look up at Loki in confusion. What is he deciding? "How about this? In two days, perhaps I could untie you. Of course, I wouldn't be letting you go, but I'm sure you would prefer this over your current status. Hm?"

You perk up with hope. "Really?"

"Really. I have no reason to lie to you."

"Plea-"

"Then it's settled," Loki replies, cutting you off. He smiles, placing your hair behind your ears. "There is something that requires my attention. I must be off. Farewell, [Y/N]." Loki turns and leaves, leaving you grinning. He'll untie me! He actually wants to untie me! Yeah, it's not like he's letting me go, but I'll be able to stand, to move! That's something!

•••

Wanda's POV

After some time, Hope finds Wanda, telling her that they're ready. Hope, Hank, Janet, Shuri, Bruce, and Tony had worked to make a new machine for her to contact Loki and track him. Wanda and Hope ran to the machine, ready to find Loki and rescue [Y/N]. 

Hope has Wanda sit on a chair. Scott and Janet briefly explain what it's like. Apparently, Janet had communicated to Hank and Hope through Scott before. After every bit of explanation is done, the machine is turned on and Wanda latches on to her connection with Loki, desperately trying to open communications.

"Yes, Wanda?" Loki starts.

[Y/N]-

"Is absolutely fine!" Suddenly, Wanda is seeing through Loki's perspective. Just like before, [Y/N] is tied to a chair and asleep. "See? Unhurt, just as I promised! I have absolutely no reason to hurt her! I wouldn't want to end the life of such a pretty little hero, would I?"

Why did you take her? 

"I forgot that you've yet to learn patience. Your friend hasn't asked me that for some time. Patience! You'll know in due time."

Could 'due time' hurry up a bit?

"That all depends on how well your friend here cooperates, Wanda. Trust me, I want everything to go as fast as possible also."

What do you mean? What do you want her to do?

"Can't say. But it won't be too difficult for her, hopefully. And it's not leading to a malevolent endgame at all. I just require her assistance on some matters, that's all. Then she'll be back with you safely. I merely am borrowing her for a few months or so."

Wanda struggles to say her next question, not sure how Loki will answer. How is she?

"Oh, she's been quite scared since she first awoke. Can't say I blame her. She's only just accepted that I'm not going to hurt her. Or, at least, it would appear so. She might still be uncertain. Naturally, I've reassured her countless times that she'll be safe and unhurt. She knows that this is only temporary and I'll free her eventually. I'm not trying to scare her, no, not at all! It seems that in some ways she is beginning to calm down and accept her circumstances with less fear. I've naturally attempted to cheer her up. I got her to smile earlier today. Quite a large step, wouldn't you say so?"

Wanda isn't so sure how to feel about any of that. She doesn't want [Y/N] scared, but she isn't so sure about her coming to accept captivity and not fearing it. 

"Anything else? I have a busy night, Wanda, and I'd like to get to that once I can. No? Farewell, then."

•••

Hope's POV

"Crap!" Hope shouts, seeing the results.

"What's wrong?" Scott asks worriedly. 

"When Wanda sees [Y/N], she isn't actually there. Loki's using illusions! We know this because, to drastically simplify the science, we can tell what life forms are near. Not once was there an enhanced female human nearby Loki. We have a location for Loki, but not [Y/N]. Loki isn't taking any chances. He's not making it easy for us to find [Y/N]."

Chapter Text

Your POV

You don't have any means to know the time or date. Your cell has no clock and no windows. You hadn't thought much about it before, too blinded by panic. But now that you were given a time restraint, you wish there is something that can give you the time. Something, anything. 

Loki could walk in there in ten seconds, five minutes, four hours, one day, a day and a half, who knows? Before, you could live with being alone for hours on end. Any minute alone was a minute without Loki. 

You never thought you'd look forward to seeing Loki.

Sure, he could visit before the two day limit, but even if he did, you could ask him for the time, and he might tell you. Then you would at least have an idea of how long to wait. But if he doesn't tell you, then you know you'll be even more anxious. 

You also have no idea how long you've been here. Few days? Weeks? Months? You never even thought of it. How long ago was it that Thor dropped by and told the rest of the Avengers that Loki was in Queens? How long can a person sit in a chair the way you are? Your wrists, ankles, and upper arms ache horribly, and you wouldn't be surprised if your skin was chafed and bloody. It doesn't help that moving at all means rubbing against the ropes, that sleeping means putting all your weight against the ropes, and that, occasionally, when sitting (which has its own array of problems when done too long) becomes unbearable, the only other option is leaning into the ropes. 

Being untied seemed like heavens.  

To think that I'm desperate to see my captor. Is this how deep I've plunged in this whole mess? And heck, he might not even untie me in two days. He could wait an extra day or so and I wouldn't know. I'd have no way of knowing. "Gosh, how did I get into this mess?"

"I would think you signed up for this when you joined the Avengers."

You flinch when Loki speaks, not remembering hearing him enter. "How do you do that?"

"Do what?" he asks as he sits down facing you. 

"Get here silently? Are you secretly a teleporter?"

"[Y/N], dearest, I'm not doing anything. You get stuck inside your head, wrapped up in fear and anxiety. I'm not trying to come silently. This door isn't the best. It's heavy and needs to be oiled. It makes a lot of noise opening and closing."

"Oh. I didn't think-"

"That you were that closed off from the world? Circumstances considered, I doubt it's abnormal. I just gently pulled you back out of your head whenever needed."

“Oh, I, uh, okay.” You swallow nervously. As always, panic alarms are blaring in your head, so loud that it takes so much effort to do simple things, such as stringing sentences together. You feel your breathing pick up despite your efforts to maintain control. Time...time...need to ask Loki...how long...what time...need to ask him….

“Sh, [Y/N], take some deep breaths, dearest,” Loki says as he tucks your hair behind your ears. "Breathe, empty your mind, you're safe." His thumb brushes against your temple before he drops his hand back to his lap. 

"Easier said than done," you mutter. 

Loki smiles warmly. "I know, I know. Take your time."

"Time, yeah, time," you say, sure you sound crazy. Your chest rises and falls rapidly. You know you're hyperventilating, but, honestly, why does that matter? It's not like you're going anywhere. You repeatedly clench and unclench your fists, unbothered by the way your palms sting when your nails dig too deep in your skin. Time...time...what time is it? After a minute or so, you speak up. "Wh-what time is it?"

"Quarter to one."

You aren't sure what exactly you expected, but you didn't expect him to just straight up tell you the time. "Date?"

"March 11."

March 11! Oh, when was I kidnapped? It was March, I know that. Third, maybe fourth? I've been here for a week? What the heck? A week of being tied to this godforsaken chair and stuck in the company of this wannabe god! And, oh gosh, I've been away so long. Gosh, it was Bucky's birthday yesterday! Gosh, I can't stay here anymore! I have to leave!

"You've been here for eight days, [Y/N]."

"How much longer?"

"I'm not certain, unfortunately." Loki stands and walks behind you. The hair on the back of your neck points up. He places both hands on your shoulders and pushes you against the chair. "And before you ask, it's been two days. As promised...." 

You almost fall forward, with only Loki holding you back against the chair as he uses magic to remove the bonds. You didn't realize you were leaning that much into the bonds. Your feet drop to the floor and your arms sway a little before your hands catch the back of your chair. Your body burns. "Oh gosh, that hurts, gosh." Moving is pain. Your joints are screaming as they go into positions they haven't been in for over a week. Your muscles are on fire, contracting for the first time in so long. Your ankles, wrists, and upper arms are the worst. Any movement of theirs brings tears to your eyes as they burn with pain. 

"Gently, gently. Go slowly. I know, it hurts. Don't push yourself." Loki's grip on your shoulders loosens. "Can you stay sitting?"

You nod. "'Bout th' only thing I c'n do."

Loki lets go and walks around you to face you. "Nice and slow. It'll hurt, but the only way to help is moving, [Y/N]." He offers his hands to you. "I'll help you. Go at your pace and only your pace." 

There's not much else I can do.... Slowly, painfully, you move your arms. Your nerves scream as your shoulders move. Your exposed wrists burn from touching air instead of rope. You bite your lip to hold back small sounds of pain. After an agonizing moment, you reach Loki's hands. You hold onto them tight and take strained breaths. "You're doing wonderfully, darling," he says as he rubs the backs of your hands soothingly. 

You slowly lift your feet off the ground. Your ankles throb and your vision clouds with tears. Your knees, which were stuck at a forty-five degree angle for just over a week, are horrible. It's a wonder that your nerves haven't spontaneously combusted from the frantic electrical impulses going back and forth from your knees and your brain. You struggle to bring your knees to a ninety degree angle, unable to hold back whimpers of pain. When you straighten your ankles and put weight on your feet, tears slide down your cheeks. 

You take a minute to calm down, during which Loki once again encourages you. "This will be the hardest. Your arms and legs and back and hips are needed. But you've done marvelously, [Y/N]." 

You nod and take some deep breaths. "And you'll help me up?" you ask timidly. 

"Of course I will. Are you ready?"

You nod tiredly. Loki lightly pulls on your arms, which only adds to the pain in your shoulders. Can't...let that...stop me…. You start leaning forward, much to the dismay of your hips. Your arms and legs shake with tension as you ever so slowly stand up. It is agonizing, but you know you can't sit in that chair forever. You throw out every intention of not showing pain as you shed tears uncontrollably. Your back aches like it never has before, your knees struggle to straighten, your ankles are stiff, your feet are unused to holding your body up, your wrists burn when either you or Loki move, your shoulders feel like they'll pop out of their sockets, your upper arms are somehow both numb and in pain, and your head is screaming at you to stop moving. 

Then, finally, you're standing. Gosh, gosh, gosh, I'm standing, oh gosh, it hurts! Loki takes his hands from yours and wraps his arms around your torso. Normally you'd hate that, but now you're glad for anything at all to lean against and keep you from falling. You sob against Loki's chest. Your legs are shaking and you hope that you don't collapse. 

"Sh, it's alright now, you did amazing. I'm going to help you get better, I promise." You feel his hand card through your hair comfortingly. You gently raise your hands to hold onto Loki's arms, afraid you'll fall. 

Your vision tilts one way and the other. You close your eyes but still feel like you're on a rocking boat. "Dizzy, 'm dizzy."

"I'm sure you are. I'll take good care of you."

"D-Don't wanna walk."

"I know, I know. You don't have to walk. You've done so much already. You can rest now."

You open your eyes to find your vision darkening. "Passin' out."

"I'll catch you. Rest. You deserve it."

Your knees buckle and you never hit the floor. Suddenly, you're being moved around, and it hurts. In the end, a combination of pain, dizziness, fear, and exhaustion bring you to unconsciousness. 

Loki's POV 

Loki glances at [Y/N]'s face and chest to see if she truly did pass out or not. The answer is an obvious yes, she is out cold. Well, no point in standing here all day. 

He turns and leaves the room, kicking the door shut behind him, making sure to remain as quiet as possible so as to not disturb [Y/N]. He walks up a set of stairs and takes a left turn at the top. He pauses in front of a doorway before turning back and going past the stairs to the right. 

Not quite ready. 

Loki takes [Y/N] through a doorway into a small room. The walls are almost completely lined with bookshelves. The exception is where a couch, with pillows in the corners and blankets draped over the back, is placed against the wall. He carefully places [Y/N] on the couch. He drags a chair from a table in the center of the room next to [Y/N] and sits down. 

[Y/N] stirs slightly and grimaces in pain. "Sh, it'll be alright, I'm taking care of you. Right now, I need you to sleep, darling." Loki places his hand lightly on her forehead to perform the spell. There are numerous levels of consciousness, and [Y/N] isn't in a deep level at the moment. The slightest hint of pain will wake her, which isn't ideal. But pushing her deeper, deeper into unconsciousness is a simple solution. Within seconds, she's in a deep sleep. 

Loki lightly trails his hand down [Y/N]'s face and neck to her shoulder. He gently rubs her shoulder and, with his other hand, takes her hand gently. "This is going to hurt, that's why I put you to sleep." After taking a deep breath, Loki casts his healing spell. The unfortunate thing about healing spells is that they cause a spike of pain before the wound is healed. With small injuries, it isn't noticeable. The larger the injury, the bigger the spike of pain. If [Y/N] couldn't stand without passing out, Loki doesn't want her awake for that spike of pain. He tried to remove as much pain as he could before by getting her to move. Yes, it hurt to move, but that got blood flowing and helped muscles that had gotten stiff. If magic weren't a possibility, that would be the only option. 

[Y/N] flinches very suddenly, but settles back down. Loki gently lifts her head to place a pillow under her head before he drapes a blanket over her. 

"Sleep well, little hero."

Chapter Text

Peter's POV

Peter sighs as his phone buzzes. Ned, May, or whoever is texting him didn't choose a good time. Peter checks his phone and sees it's Ned. He sighs. His best friend doesn't know what happened, he doesn't know it's a bad time. He can't be given blame because Peter didn't tell him. 

Ned: hey, I got a Lego Star Wars set of a Star Destroyer. Wanna come over?

Peter: sorry, not a good time ): got crazy Avengers stuff going on

Ned: yeah I saw what happened. Loki in Queens. Good job getting him :)

Peter: yeah about that. Hasn't been told to the public yet, but Loki escaped. 

Ned: WUT

Peter: that's why I can't come over. Wish I could. We totally should build the Star Destroyer later though 

Ned: you ok? How did Loki escape? R the rest of the Avengers ok?

Peter: ...most of us are

Peter explains to Ned how Loki escaped and abducted [Y/N]. In the end, Peter is glad he didn't just turn his phone off. Telling Ned what happened is like taking a huge weight off his shoulders. Only the other Avengers and Aunt May know what has happened. Peter also tells Ned what they've done to try and find [Y/N], and how, as of yet, none of it has worked. 

Ned: wow...r u ok? Emotionally?

Peter: who knows? Ngl [Y/N] is kinda like the older sister I never had

Ned: anything i can do? I can get your school/home work to your place

Peter: that would be great. Drop it off with May, I've been staying at the Compound since Loki took [Y/N]

Ned: ok lemme know if I can help

Peter: will do

"Peter?" FRIDAY asks through the speakers in Peter's room. 

"Yeah FRIDAY?"

"Mr Stark needs to see you, as well as everyone else in the lab."

"Okay, thanks FRIDAY." Please be something good, please be something good! Peter hurries to the lab as the rest of the Avengers pour in. 

Several screens are out for a facial recognition search. If Loki is in any camera anywhere, that footage will go through that system. Before Peter can really look at it, Tony is speaking. 

"Today's the day. Look who FRIDAY found." He taps on a screen and enlarges a picture of Loki in a suit. "He's in Brooklyn. FRIDAY hasn't found [Y/N], but it's pretty hard to take a walk when you're tied to a chair and terrified for your life because a manic god thought a good vacation would be kidnapping you." Tony fists his hands in anger before continuing. "She might not be in Brooklyn, she might not be in New York City, she might be out of state, she might be in a different country, for goodness' sake she could be on another planet. But if we can capture Loki or follow him back or something , we can rescue [Y/N]."

"Then what are we waiting for?" Peter asks. "We need to find her!"

Everyone hops onto the quinjet and FRIDAY flies like it's the end of the world to get to Loki's position in New York. While there, they try to make a plan. 

"I don't think capturing Loki is the wisest course of action," Vision asserts. 

"Why?" Scott asks. 

"When we captured him last week, we did exactly what he wanted," Vision explains. "He wanted to choose which Avenger to abduct, and our interrogations of him allowed him some time with each of us to decide which one of us he would abduct. He had a plan of escape, and he easily put his plan to action and took [Y/N] with him. If we capture him again, he may very well be getting exactly what he wants."

"Loki did say that he considered taking me or Cap. He might still want us," Wanda adds quietly. 

"Capturing Loki might also hurt [Y/N]," Peter says slowly. 

"How?" Rhodey asks. "Wouldn't keeping the crazy god away from her help her?"

"Every other time you've captured Loki, you were looking for an object, and any people he took were mind controlled, so they could still move around. [Y/N]'s not under his control. She's tied to a chair. She can't eat or drink on her own." Peter lets out a shaky breath of anger. "Whatever food or drink she's had, Loki's hand fed her. If we capture him, it doesn't guarantee he'll tell us where she is. So [Y/N] could die of dehydration after three days, or less. Maybe Loki hasn't given her any water the past few days." This has been at the back of Peter's mind for some time now. He can't imagine what it would be like to be in her place. It is absolutely horrible what Loki has done to her. His hands shake slightly from anger. 

"We should follow him," T'Challa says. "He can lead us back to [Y/N], or at the very least knowing where he's going now might somehow let us know where he will be going or has gone, and maybe we can get a clue as to what his intentions are."

"It would likely be the latter," Thor says. "Once him and I were on Vanaheim together. There was a group there that didn't have particularly warm feelings for Asgard, and decided they wanted to follow us some distance. I'm sure they had some plan, but they were a bit too dead to ask about later. I wouldn't have noticed anything until they began to attack us. Loki noticed them almost immediately."

"Well, we don't have much of a choice," Steve says. He tells them the plan. The quinjet begins to land. "Let's go save [Y/N]."

Once Peter gets off the quinjet, he climbs up a building and looks down at the street. He can see Loki underneath him. "'Kay, he's below me," he says into his comms. Loki is in a suit and is holding a bag. "He's got some sorta bag, but I dunno what's in it." 

Natasha is feigning reading a book not too far from Loki. "Rectangular in shape, has hard sides. Can't tell what it is either. Could be a box."  

"Hope, Scott? Could you get a look?" Steve asks. 

"Already on it , " Hope says. "It's a box, and we can't get inside it."

"What sort of box is it?" Bruce asks. 

"Uh, it looks like something you'd get at some store. Cardboard, cheap, has a logo on it," Scott answers. 

"What logo?" Clint asks. 

"We can't see all of it," Hope says. 

"There's a price tag over it. Idiot salesman. Not helping us out here. Last letter is 'S' and the first one is 'C?' 'O?' 'G?' We can only see the first half and it curves kind of like those letters," Scott explains. 

"He's turning down that alley," Peter informs as Loki heads down that direction. Bucky is in the alley, and Peter is above it. Sam is on the other side. 

"I see him," Bucky whispers. Peter watches as Loki heads toward Bucky, who's giving cash to a homeless man, head averted from Loki. 

"Now's as good of a time as any to say I know I'm being followed," Peter faintly hears Loki say. Crap!

"Nat and I are going to cover the side we're on. Sam and T'Challa take your side. Thor and Peter up top. Scott and Hope, stay small and out of sight. Buck, keep him distracted. Everyone else, head over here onto either side or up in the skies," Steve orders. Sam, T'Challa, Steve, and Natasha get to their positions quickly. Thor flies up to the building opposite Peter. The rest of the Avengers gather around to surround Loki. Everyone is close enough to hear the two in the alley without comms. 

"I'll give you an extra ten if you get somewhere safe," Bucky says quietly to the other man in the alley. The man gladly takes the ten dollar bill and leaves, somewhat startled when he sees more Avengers. Bucky turns to look at Loki. "Where did you take her?!"

"Somewhere safe," Loki answers. "Why so hesitant to capture me?"

"Isn't that exactly what you want?"

"No, actually I would like to check up on [Y/N] right now. We wouldn't want her to be lonely, would we?" Loki sighs. "I really should go, she'll be very confused when she wakes up, and she gets so frightened when confused. She'll need someone to explain everything to her before she starts panicking herself into a heart attack."

"How about you tell me where [Y/N] is and I'll explain to her that we captured you and that she's now free?" Bucky suggests coldly. 

"Tempting offer, but I'll have to decline. You wouldn't even be able to go through the door. If you and your friends will excuse me, [Y/N] needs me."

"I disagree."

Then things start getting violent, which isn't all that surprising. Loki is very adept at making everyone hate him. Bucky is nowhere near as strong as the frost giant, but strength isn't everything in a fight. He used Loki's own momentum to his advantage. On either side, the team starts to converge. 

"Should we go in, Cap?" Peter asks. 

"Heck yeah. Let's go."  

Peter jumps down and shoots his webs at Loki, aiming to stick him to a wall. Loki makes a magical shield to protect himself. 

"Not to be rude, but this isn't a good time. [Y/N] needs me right now." Naturally his comment doesn't make the Avengers stop at all, and he has to defend himself. After a few minutes, he rolls his eyes. "I'm going now . Stop trying to be heroic and rescue someone who doesn't want to be rescued."

"The heck are you talking about?" Sam asks angrily. 

"Clearly I am much better at protecting her than you Avengers are. Trust me, she'll need that protection."

"You think you're protecting her?" Thor roars in outrage. "How would you define protection? Abduction? Ropes binding the protected to a chair? Keeping the protected terrified?"

Loki rolls his eyes. "Why would I bother to explain it to you when you won't try to comprehend? I really must get going. She'll wake within the hour." He releases a spell and after a sound like glass cracking and a weird light, Loki disappears. 

"Darn it!" Steve says. A second later both Hope and Scott enlarge to normal size. "Weren't you both in the bag still?"

"I dunno what he did just now, but one second we were and the next we weren't," Scott answers. 

Darn it! We were closer than we've ever been to finding her! But he slipped through our fingers again! Peter takes a deep breath. "What do we do now, Cap?"

"I don't know, kid. I don't know."

•••

Some time ago

Loki's POV 

Everything hurt . Loki couldn't move, couldn't see. Is this what death is? Neverending pain? This was not what he expected when he let go and fell into the abyss next to Asgard. Why had he thought dying would be the best option? He was so overwhelmed by everything. Learning the truth of his heritage, Thor's banishment and return, losing to Thor. But was that enough to die for? That didn't feel right. It felt like an overreaction. Which was very uncharacteristic of Loki. 

He felt himself being moved, dragged over the ground by his legs. It made his nerves scream, but there was nothing he could do to stop whoever or whatever was taking him who knows where. The ground was rocky underneath him, which didn't help his breaking body at all. Whatever was dragging him was harsh and unforgiving, and did nothing to make it any more comfortable for Loki. 

If I'm not already dead, please just kill me so I can't be in this much pain anymore . 

Whoever was dragging him stopped and dropped his legs. His legs landed hard and Loki let out a cry of anguish. How could such pain even exist? He began to see somewhat. The back of his mind said his eyes needed to adjust to the lighting and that's why he couldn't see. The creature that had dragged him was bent over him, and kept turning Loki's face this way and that. Loki felt he should know what life form was looking down on him, but he couldn't say. 

"Is it an Asgardian?" someone asked in a language not from any of the Nine Realms. Loki thought of what other languages he knew to try and learn where he had fallen. Kree? Xandarian? Groot? Skrull? Chitauri? Chitauri! That's what it was. He had been found by some Chitauri. No, no, no! Not the Chitauri!

"Maybe. It's from the Ten Systems or whatever they call themselves," the Chitauri examining him answered. 

"Should we kill it?"

Please, kill me. Anything else you could do would be so much worse. I'm of no use to the Chitauri, or anyone else for that matter. Kill me!

"Don't," said a third Chitauri that stepped into Loki's field of vision. A Chitauri Loki recognized as the Other, their leader. "Three Infinity Stones reside on some of the Nine Realms. It may be useful in gathering them."

Infinity Stones?! What do you want with those?! One on its own is powerful enough! What could you possibly want with three of them!  

"Help me carry it up to him," the one who had examined him ordered the one to first speak while the Other walked away. "I'm not dragging it up all those stairs."

No, no, no! Just kill me! I'm not going to gather the Infinity Stones for you! Save yourselves some time and kill me! A wave of guilt crashed over Loki. The Stones aren't on Asgard. And Thor destroyed the bifrost. Thor can't stop the Chitauri. He doesn't know the secret passageways I do. Could Odin summon that much dark magic? Would he? What realms would they be on? Oh, what did Mother tell me about the Infinity Stones? Bor hid the Aether somewhere in the Nine Realms, but no one knows where. A powerful sorcerer wielded the Time Stone on Midgard centuries ago. Odin hid the Tesseract on Midgard. The Aether is the safest. But Midgard?! Why did it have to be Midgard?! They couldn't possibly ward off the Chitauri! And if they use me, they wouldn't be able to defeat me! Unless Odin gets Thor to Midgard, it's not just Midgard at stake. Two Infinity Stones! The universe is at stake! Thor would go in a heartbeat, he would fight off the Chitauri, and would benefit from that Foster girl afterwards. But would Odin actually make the way for him?

Chapter Text

Scott's POV

Darn it, darn it, darn it! We were so close! But we failed [Y/N] again! Darn it! The Avengers load off the quinjet in the Compound's hangar. They go inside the main Compound in defeat. Scott and Thor are in front. They take a turn and see something shocking. "What the?!" Scott says angrily. Thor doesn't say a word. He throws his hammer at what is causing the disturbance as the others walk in. 

The problem? Two people showed up unexpectedly. 

Loki and [Y/N]. [Y/N] is asleep on the couch. She most likely fell unconscious. Scott has his doubts that she could comfortably sleep while in Loki's presence. Loki is sitting on the couch's arm rest. Mjolnir goes flying through the air and straight through Loki, or rather the illusion of Loki. If Loki is an illusion, then so is [Y/N]. 

"The heck are you doing?" Scott demands of Loki. 

"Showing you exactly how our friend here is faring," Loki answers. 

"Why?" Thor asks in fury. 

"Because clearly you think I'm going to do something horrible to her when I have no intention to . None whatsoever. She's my guest."

"Uh huh. And I was Hydra's guest for seventy years," Bucky snaps back, voice dripping with sarcasm. 

"I am nothing like anyone from Hydra. I intend to save your world, not conquer it."

"Not like every other time you've been here?" Steve says with a cold intensity. 

Loki rolls his eyes. "I would've been perfectly fine with diplomacy, but no, you all have to jump to conclusions every few seconds. You're impossible."

"We don't negotiate, Elsa," Tony says, once again giving Loki a nickname. 

Loki rolls his eyes. "You're proving me right. But let's return to the matter at hand. [Y/N] here has been doing marvelously." Loki turns to Bruce. "You're a doctor. Prove me right." He gestures for Bruce to step closer and examine [Y/N]."

Bruce cautiously approaches [Y/N], carefully watching Loki before he studies her. "She's a bit pale and sweaty, though those physical symptoms could very well have psychological causes. Her breathing is typical for sleep. She seems to be sleeping peacefully. Though she doesn't look very well rested. Again, that could be completely psychological. She could be suffering from insomnia, or even require more sleep than normal. Or maybe she normally sleeps restlessly, unlike now, and doesn't rest enough. Or she could be stopping herself from sleeping, scared of what could happen when she's asleep, or a number of other explanations. She doesn't seem to have any injuries. Except her wrists. They are slightly chafed, though it's hardly concerning. I would expect them to be in a worse condition than they are, being tied up for over a week. Her ankles and upper arms probably look very similar. It looks like she's hydrated and eaten enough." He sighs. "From what I can tell, while the symptoms [Y/N] is displaying can be caused by physical exertion, they can also be caused by psychological distress. I wish I could say more, but...." He lets his sentence trail off as he slowly moves his hand as if he would set it on [Y/N]'s shoulder, knowing his hand will go right through her.

[Y/N] recoils, gasping, backing herself toward the back of the couch. "Don't touch her!" Loki says with agitation. Bruce slowly steps away, surprised by [Y/N]'s reaction. "It is rather unsettling to be touched in this form, much more so when asleep, unaware you're in this form, or the first time you're in this form, all of which describe [Y/N]," Loki explains as he stands up, lifts [Y/N] into his arms, and sits down with her on his lap. Scott feels a new surge of anger as he watches Loki hold her. [Y/N] huddles against Loki's chest as if hiding from some unseen threat. Loki's arms wrap around [Y/N] protectively as he softly murmurs to her. "There, there, you're safe, little hero. There's no need to worry. I'll protect you." 

Scott glares at Loki. Protection? Safety? Uh huh, that's comforting. Can't you tell that you terrify her? That she would rather be anywhere and with anyone than with you? 

[Y/N] calms down, leaning against Loki and once again sleeping peacefully. "As Doctor Banner said, [Y/N] is physically well, but is experiencing psychological distress. And she has every right to be scared. She doesn't understand many things due to inexperience, and change tends to frighten humans. But as she settles in, she'll experience less fear."

"And how do we know this is actually her?" Wanda questions. 

"The way she reacted to being touched, Loki couldn't have engineered that," Thor answers quietly. "He is right in saying that it is unsettling. This really is [Y/N], not a creation of Loki."

"You're finally learning, congratulations," Loki says sarcastically. "Now, how about we construct a deal?"

"The heck do you want?" Natasha asks coldly. 

"For you to stop intervening in our affairs," he responds. "We're very busy and would like you to stop meddling in our business. And when you Avengers get yourselves involved in my business, we tend to be destructive. I see no reason to drag civilians into any of this if you do your part. Stay out of this, and it will only be [Y/N] that gets involved, and civilians will maintain their normalcy. If you get involved, whether accidental or intentional, one of us will inevitably draw civilians into this. None of us would want that. You're sworn protectors, and civilians would be such a hassle for [Y/N] and I. We would get done so much sooner, and I could bring her back to you all the sooner."

"You really expect us to do that?" Sam asks. 

"I expect [Y/N] will want you to." This throws everyone off guard. "You must not know her as well as you think you do. She is such a gentle, caring soul. She won't want you to put others at risk because of her."

Scott hates to admit it, but Loki is right. [Y/N] won't want civilians to be at risk if it can be prevented. 

"Fine," Steve says, surprising Scott. "We'll play by your rules. But if you hurt [Y/N] or disturb civilian life when we follow our end of the deal, we will hunt you down."

"As is to be expected. We resolved this faster than I thought. I'm impressed. But, I do have things to do. [Y/N] and I will be leaving now." Before anyone could respond, the illusions of Loki and [Y/N] dissipate. 

"Cap, why did you do that?" Rhodey asks. 

"You really think we're gonna do what he wants? We'll lay low, keep the technological search for them going, and prepare to take Loki by surprise."

•••

Your POV 

When you wake up, you're scared. 

You open your eyes and see Loki has laid you on a couch and covered you with a blanket. There aren't ropes binding you. Your arms are at your side, your hands shaking. Your breathing hitches as you contemplate your situation. I'm untied, I'm on a couch and have a blanket. That's better than before. Where's the catch? What benefit could Loki have from this? What does he want from me? What does he want me to do? 

You had dreamt of being attacked by someone, something , and you were completely defenseless. Its touch felt as if it would tear you apart and there was nothing you could do. Before you were doomed, the attacker left. In his place was a man with raven black hair. You could not as of then recognize him. He held your trembling body and whispered to you. "There, there, you're safe, little hero. There's no need to worry. I'll protect you." You knew that voice. The man was Loki, and you knew it. Yet you still leaned into his touch and felt protected. That was the worst part. You knew he was Loki, and you remembered everything he had done to you, and you still felt safe with him. You wanted to be held by him forever and never leave him. That is what made your dream nightmarish. 

There's a window above the couch. It shows a view of a small backyard. You're in the suburbs. Somewhere. You can't see anything to indicate an address, just a wooden fence and the back of another house. The walls have bookshelves. Some shelves have books, some have boxes, some have other oddities. 

It all gets so much worse when you look away from the wall with the window and to your left. You gasp when you see Loki sitting in a chair next to you, reading a book. How long has he been watching me? What will he do to me? Oh gosh, gosh, gosh! Your vision clouds with tears. You can't move. There are no bonds holding you, but you're paralyzed with fear. You bite your lip and hold back tears. You're hyperventilating, as you always do. Everything is the exact same yet completely different. 

Loki lowers his book and looks you in the eye. He looks somewhat apologetic. "I didn't realize you were awake. Did I keep you waiting?" You don't answer. Your tongue feels like lead. You're quivering like wind chimes in a storm. You can't stop warm tears from slipping down your cheek. "Oh, dearest, I'm so dreadfully sorry. If I had noticed when you first awoke, I could have prevented this initial panic. I should've been more vigilant."

Why is he apologizing to me?! Why can't he make sense for just two seconds?! Nothing has made any sense since he kidnapped me, and everything is so confusing?! Why?! 

"My darling, I know that this is new and that you're confused. You had somewhat settled into our pattern of you being alone in the basement with my occasional visits. Yes, you still didn't understand, but consistency lessens fear. And now that the pattern has been removed, you have no idea what to expect. Everyone would feel similarly in your situation, dear." You hold your breath as Loki brushes his thumb against your cheek. "You need some sort of routine, [Y/N]. Once you are living consistently again, your fear will be minimized. And since I won't need to change your routine again, you can live consistently during your stay, and you can recover psychologically. This has been quite the experience for you, and you will need to emotionally recover, and I know you will recover. So I will explain to you what you are to do."

Gosh, what could he want from me?!

"Would you like to sit? Stand? You're welcome to move, and you don't look very comfortable." His voice is laced with concern. 

Why do you care?! You are in fact uncomfortable. You didn't want to move, terrified that Loki didn't want you to move and not wanting to aggravate him. Physically, your position is fine. But you feel like Loki is towering over you. You move very carefully, remembering how much moving hurt before. You're surprised when you aren't hurting. You faintly remember Loki saying something about taking care of you, and you wonder if he did something to make you heal faster. You bring yourself into a sitting position on the far end of the couch, afraid your legs are too shaky for you to stand or walk away. You look down at your hands in your lap, not knowing what to do. You hold your breath when you see Loki move in your peripheral vision. He stands up and walks closer to you. You wince and sink further down. Loki sits next to you, his hand on your shoulder. You flinch at his touch, holding back sobs. 

"I have a room for you. Not this one, certainly not. One with a bed for you, with a door that locks." When you hear the last word, you let out a sob and cringe away from him. Loki rubs small circles into your shoulder with his thumb. "Sorry, allow me to clarify. I can't lock you in. You can lock me out. I thought you would like the privacy and some control in this situation." You nod and cry with relief, pulling your legs up and hugging your knees. "Oh, dearest, I wouldn't dream of keeping you locked up. But let me continue. You can do what you desire for the most part. As long as you stay inside and don't hurt either of us, I will most likely allow it. I'll even bring you things, within reason, for you to entertain yourself. Though, if you enjoy reading, there are plenty of books here you can use." He pauses, giving you a moment to absorb what he said. Loki moves his hand from your shoulder and gently rubs your back as you hide your face against your knees, tears falling. "I will require of you something though."

Oh gosh, what does he want?! Oh gosh!  

"Do you remember before I brought you here, I told you that you would have plenty of time to improve your skill in defending yourself?" You do. You had been struggling to fight him in hand to knife combat. He said you weren't bad and would have time to improve. Right after that he hit you on the head and next thing you knew you were tied to that godforsaken chair. You look up and nod slowly. "Good, good. I am going to teach you how to fight without your combustible abilities."

What? Why?! How does that benefit you? You kidnapped me just to teach me how to fight? No, there has to be more!

Loki sighs. "Your friends have been very persistent in attempting to take you from me. Though, hopefully, I convinced them to stop."

"What?" you ask very quietly. They wouldn't abandon me! Loki must've done something to persuade them! What did he do?!

"There's that lovely voice of yours. I made a deal with them. Honestly it was less of a deal and more of a solemn reminder. You see, if they were to actively look for you, civilians would inevitably get drawn into our affairs."

"Y-You threatened civilians to stop them from, from trying anything?" you quietly accuse, horrified. 

"Oh, darling, of course not. Like I said, this is a reminder, not a deal. I most likely would not intentionally threaten the public but, let's be honest with ourselves, conflicts involving the Avengers and myself tend to cause damage and people tend to die. But, if your friends stay in their Compound, then no civilians would be at risk. I believe this arrangement will be beneficial to all involved. Civilians go on with their mundane lives, I don't have the Avengers hunting me, we finish our business faster, and I can deliver you to your friends all the sooner."

His plan would work if your friends cooperate. And you doubt they will. "No, no, no, no!" You hug your knees tighter and forget holding back emotions. "Oh gosh, no!"

"[Y/N], dearest, what's wrong?" Loki asks worriedly. 

"They, they won't listen to you! They're so, so worried 'bout me, they won't think right, and, and, you're right, people will get, get hurt," you sob, gasping for breath. 

"Sh, sh, it's alright, [Y/N], it's alright." Loki pulls you toward him and wraps his arms around you in an embrace. You don't, you can't resist. You don't want to anger him, and you can't bring yourself to do anything other than cry. "I spoke with your team. They already agreed to stay out of my way. Dearest, they'll leave us be. I told them you would want it, so they agreed to our terms. It's alright, darling, everything's alright. Sh, everything will be alright. And even if they do decide to get involved, I'll do everything in my power to limit casualties, okay? I don't want anyone getting hurt, same as you. I convinced them to listen to me, to listen to you." 

You cry on his shoulder for quite some time. The whole time, Loki holds you and tells you that no one will be hurt. He promises to tell the Avengers that she doesn't want them to look for her in order to protect the public. He strokes your hair softly, delicately. You don't know what time it is or how long you cry. All you know is that you're terrified the public will be harmed, and, in some way you can't possibly understand, being held by the god who took you from your friends, your home, your life, is the most comforting thing you've experienced for so long. 

Chapter Text

Loki's POV

After some time, [Y/N] calms down. One can only panic for so long  before exhaustion hits. She continues leaning against Loki's chest and loosely hugging her knees. She quivers somewhat, an aftereffect of the tears she had shed. But she isn't crying anymore, and her breathing has evened out. She hasn't spoken or tried to move away from him. Loki isn't sure if that's because she's too exhausted or because she's too scared to speak or move or because she's too overwhelmed to even think about speaking or moving yet. He decides to wait a few more minutes, not wanting to overwhelm her more. He continues holding her, rubbing her back and stroking her hair.

After not too long, [Y/N] speaks up. "L-Loki?" she asks, so quiet he wouldn't have heard her if he wasn't holding her.

"Yes, dearest?" Loki answers quietly.

Loki feels her fidget nervously. "I, I'm cold, can, can I have a blanket, p-please," she stutters.

It's not that cold , Loki thinks worriedly. Then again, I'm a frost giant, and she's a flame dispensing Inhuman. She and I could have entirely different temperature preferences. "Of course, darling." He reaches behind them for the blanket on the back of the couch. [Y/N] still makes no attempt to move away from him. "Can you move off of my chest? So that I can wrap the blanket around you? You can lean on me again after you're wrapped in the blanket, if you'd like that. If you're too tired to move, I'll help you." Loki makes sure to speak very carefully and quietly in order to not scare [Y/N]. 

"I, I can move," she answers quietly. She pushes away from Loki quickly, pressing in on herself. Loki takes the blanket and gently sets it on [Y/N]'s back. She wraps it tight around herself, and Loki carefully pulls her hair out from underneath the blanket. [Y/N] presses herself against the couch, away from Loki.

"Is that better, dear?"

[Y/N] nods. "Thank you."

"You're most welcome." He watches her as she hugs herself tightly. He lightly rubs her back, hoping to not scare her more. I didn't think I would terrify her by telling her about my visit with her friends. I need to be more careful with her. "[Y/N], darling, would you like me to show you around the house?" 

She looks up at him in confusion. "Can I, am I allowed to go around the house?" Once she finishes speaking, her eyes widen in fear.

"Did you think you weren't?" Loki asks worriedly. [Y/N] nods fearfully. "Oh, dearest, of course you can. Consider this house your temporary home."

[Y/N] visibly relaxes a touch. She looks down at her hands. "Thank you. Can you show me around? Please?" She responds softly.

"Certainly, my darling."

•••

Your POV 

You carefully stand up, drawing the blanket around you. Your legs still feel shaky, but you think you can stand for an extended period of time if you don't push yourself. Walking, you aren't so sure about. You try taking a step forward, and you are somewhat successful. It was less of a step and more of a stumbling limp. At least you didn't fall down.

"Would you like me to help you walk?" Loki asks calmly.

"Yes, thank you." Loki stands and holds out his arm for you. You cling on to him, using him for balance.

"I healed you, but you still haven't walked in just over a week. It will take some time for you to recover, but it shouldn't be too long. Give it a day or so, just walk when you can."

"Alright, thank you."

What if I do something he doesn't like? He keeps promising not to hurt me, but will he? If he gets angry, will he hurt me? I can't risk it! I need to do what he wants right now. Let him hold me, let him give me a darn tour of this place, let him help me walk, whatever he wants, and I need to know what he doesn't want! And even if he doesn't hurt me, he could kill me, or my friends, or worse…. You have worried about this since you woke up on the couch. Every little decision has been haunted by this fear. Every time you ask a question, you're terrified Loki won't like it. You're treading on thin ice, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

You, with the help of Loki, slowly leave the room with the couch, bookcases, with a table and a few chairs in the center of the room. It takes a long time for you to move around, even though you're going as fast as you can.

"I'm sorry, I'm going as fast as I can, but I'm still slow, sorry."

"Don't ever apologize for your health," Loki responds without hesitation. "Not to me, not to anyone else. Just do your best. If you can't do something, then don't. Go at your pace, and let yourself heal. If you want to slow down, please do so. I don't want you getting hurt."

When you finally make it past the door, you're in a hallway with wooden floors. There is no furniture and the hall is narrow. The walls are cream colored. The room you just came from is on the far right end of the hall. You slowly stumble along as Loki takes you down the hall.

The next entrance doesn't have a door. The floor is carpeted with a deep green color. There are two brown couches facing each other in the center of the room, coffee table in between them. Loki helps you to the closest couch, which you sit down on. A television set is on a table against the left wall. There's a cabinet built into the table, which probably has the DVD player or whatever is with the TV. Against the right wall is a shelf with notebooks, paper, pencils, pens, and other office materials. The back wall was a large sliding window, from floor to ceiling, which could also be used as a back door.

"You're welcome to use the television if you'd like, or to go out into the backyard, or whatever else you'd like to do here. I would take you outside, but there's not much, and it's getting cold out there." Loki gives you a look of concern. Do you need to take a break, or can we continue?"

"I, I don't need a break," you say, hoping you're right. 

"If you ever need one, tell me, and we'll stop." He helps you up and out of the room. You continue to the left until there's a right turn. The right half of the room is a kitchen and breakfast nook. The oven, fridge, and whatnot is up against the far wall, and an island is in the middle with bar stools on one side and salt and pepper, a knife block, and a napkin dispenser on top. The breakfast nook is by the right wall, poking out of the rest of the wall, and surrounded on three sides with windows. The left side is a living room with little furniture. There is a brown couch and a desk, green rug underneath both of them. Between the two rooms is the front door. The living room has some small windows showing the front yard. The floor on both sides is wooden, like the hallway. 

"This is self explanatory. Again, you're welcome in here for whatever reason. You can eat anything we have as well, but please come to me first. The homeostasis spell I put on you needs to be removed or modified if you want to eat. Unfortunately, though, I can't let you out the front door as of now." You glance back at the knife block, surprised Loki would leave that in reach. Then again, you know that those knives wouldn't be able to pierce his skin. 

Loki helps you limp along the hall past a stairway to the next door. He doesn't open it though. "This is my bedroom. For the sake of privacy, I ask that you don't enter unless it's necessary. I won't go into your room unless I'm needed." You make a mental note to not go into his bedroom. It's a reasonable demand, and you don't think much of it. At least it makes sense.

You and Loki walk to the final room. Loki opens the door and helps you inside. "Welcome to your bedroom." Against the back and left wall is a twin bed loaded with blankets that Loki helps you hobble to. Next to your bed is a desk and chair with a lamp and your phone connected to a charging table. You haven't given much thought to your phone, figuring that getting kidnapped meant goodbye. You didn't think Loki still had it and that he would freely give it to you. You sit on your bed and look around. There's a closet built into the right wall that Loki walks towards. There's another door next to the closet. The back wall has a window jutting out from the wall, with a cushioned seat next to it. Underneath the bed you can feel a chest with the back of your legs. Loki walks back to you with some sort of cloth in his hands. 

"I thought that this would be easier to wear than the blanket," he says as he hands you a black hoodie. You let the blanket fall off of you and pull the hoodie on, thanking Loki. You pull your hair out from the hoodie, surprised by how it feels. Your hair is greasy and sweaty, especially your roots. By pushing hair out of your face, you learn your face is also very sweaty. I guess it makes sense. I haven't showered for a week, and I've done more physical things today than I have for a week. You put your hair in a makeshift bun you know will fall out in a minute or so without your hair tie and put your hood back on. Three birds with one stone. Hair stays out of my face, it keeps my head warm, and there's one less reason for Loki to touch me, since he's obsessed with my hair or something.

"Again, this is your room, and I'll stay out of here, unless you want me in here or there is an emergency. There are clothes in the closet, though I don't know everything about Midgardian clothing, so please forgive me if there are any problems. I can get you more if needed. The door leads to a bathroom. Again, I don't know everything about Midgard, if there are problems, you and I can sort it out. You can come in and out whenever, and you can always lock the door."

You nod, looking at your phone. "I'm guessing I can't call or text, can I?" 

"No, you can't, but you can use your phone for entertainment."

"Does 'can't' mean I'm not allowed to or that my phone cannot possibly do that?" you ask nervously.

"Your phone can't do it. I'm sorry, but I can't take any risks with you, my dearest. When this is all over, I'll bring your phone back to normal for you." 

You nod slowly. "Okay. Is there anywhere else?" you ask, remembering the stairway.

"Yes, though, unfortunately, I don't think you can walk there. I'll have to carry you." Loki steps closer to you and stoops down, putting an arm below your knees and his other arm on your back. He picks you up carefully, and you wrap your arms around his neck, careful to not pull on his hair. 

While you dislike being carried by Loki, you know he's right. You need to rest. Your legs hurt badly now. Loki carries you out of your room and down the hall to the stairs. You know there is no way you would be able to walk up and down the stairs. 

Tired, you rest your head against Loki's shoulder, your forehead touching his neck. His skin is cold, and it feels good on your head, even though you're shivering. Under radically different circumstances, you would think this is comfortable and maybe even fall asleep, those 'radically different circumstances' being if Loki wasn't evil, hadn't captured you, and was a friend.

•••

Loki's POV 

Loki carries [Y/N] downstairs, careful to not jostle her around. She tiredly rests her head against his shoulder, with her forehead touching his neck. She seems very warm and sweaty for someone who is shivering, but she is a fire powered Inhuman while I'm a frost giant. She probably thinks I feel really cold.

When he reaches the bottom of the stairs, Loki turns right and opens a door to show [Y/N] a large room with padded flooring. The previous resident and legal owner of the house is a gymnast, which proves quite advantageous since she likes to practice at home. "This is where I'll be teaching you how to defend yourself. Can you stand?" [Y/N] nods and shakily stands when Loki sets her down. He helps her to a box at the end of the room. He opens the box and hands her one of the objects in it.

"The blade isn't sharp. It's designed for training." He grabs another for himself. "Have you ever used a knife as a weapon?"

She shakes her head while she examines the knife she's holding. Loki internally winces when he sees the way she's holding it. "Hold it like this, darling," he says while demonstrating the correct position. "Move your thumb just a touch. Perfect." 

They continue for half an hour or so. Loki teaches her the most rudimentary lessons, mainly on different positions to hold the knife and how to be safe with blades. [Y/N] listens attentively and learns quickly. Loki smiles, knowing that, given practice and the right training, [Y/N] will become a formidable opponent while holding a dagger. 

He quickly loses the smile when she collapses.

[Y/N] is demonstrating a reverse grip when she starts to fall. Loki drops the training blade and catches her. She lets go of her own blade and weakly holds onto him. Loki helps her sit, leaning against the box. "[Y/N], dearest, tell me how you're feeling," he says as he examines her, looking for any sign as to what is wrong.

"Tired, cold, sweaty. My muscles hurt, my legs hurt most but all of them hurt. My head feels fuzzy and hurts. I don't feel so good," she answers, teeth chattering.

Chills, sweat, fatigue, muscle pain, weakness, headache, and feeling disoriented? Loki puts the back of his hand on [Y/N]'s forehead. She's burning up. "You have a fever, [Y/N]."

"I do?" she asks worriedly.

"Yes, you do. I'm going to carry you to your room, alright?" She nods tiredly and weakly holds on to Loki as he picks her up and brings her upstairs to her room. 

I should've noticed the symptoms earlier! I knew she was sweaty and cold. Yes, she has muscle pain and weakness from earlier today, but those are also symptoms of a fever. I should've let her rest! This is my fault!

When they get into her bedroom, Loki hurriedly sets her down on the bed. He goes to the bathroom and wets a washcloth. When he comes back, [Y/N] is trying and failing to sit up. "Darling, please, you need to rest. Please, lie down. I'll take good care of you." 

•••

Your POV 

You let Loki maneuver you into a different position on the bed. You're so tired and want to sleep. Everything is sore and your head feels like it's stuffed full of cotton balls. Your bed is so soft and so warm and feels like heaven . 

Loki uses a wet washcloth to wipe the sweat off of your face. He talks to you the entire time, but you're too disoriented to understand most of it. You only understand and remember little pieces of it, not even always full words.

"...not sick…-tress can…-en immune…be okay...don't worr-...."

You moan softly. "'m tired...wanna sleep."

"...know…-eep, not…-nish...be quick...shh...okay."

"Don' know what you sayin'...'m gonna sleep." You close your eyes, and soon you're dead asleep.

Chapter Text

Loki's POV 

"Sh, it's alright, darling, I'm right here." Loki holds [Y/N]'s hand as she shudders and murmurs in her sleep.  It is midnight, and her fever hasn't gotten much better. He's stayed at her bedside all night, worried her fever will get worse. He's done everything he could. Is there a spell that could help? If she weren't Inhuman, yes. The small amount of Kree genetics Inhumans have counteracts the spells used to cure viruses. Thus far, a spell has not been found that works with both human and Kree genetics, and Loki isn't going to experiment on his dearest unless it's his only choice. 

[Y/N]'s eyes slowly flutter open. With his other hand, Loki cups her face, gently rubbing her temple. "[Y/N], are you feeling any better?" he asks softly. She's probably very disoriented still. She might not remember that she's ill, or even that I took her. Maybe she'll be confused, maybe she'll be scared, or experience any other emotion. She could be more talkative, or not talk at all. Who knows?

[Y/N]'s eyes slowly focus on Loki. Once they do, she looks at him in terror, tears starting to form. Her chest rises and falls rapidly. Loki gently squeezes her hand, hoping to comfort her. "Dearest, I'm right here. I'll protect you. You still have a fever, but I am doing everything I can to help you."

[Y/N]'s lips quiver as a few tears dash across her face, which Loki softly wipes away. But the tears don't stop. They flood out as she shivers under the blankets. For a few minutes, [Y/N] doesn't say anything and only cries. Loki does his best to comfort her, but none of his attempts hit true. After those few minutes, [Y/N] speaks up.

"I, I'm sorry, I'm s-sorry, please, I'm, I'm sorry," she sobs. 

Loki gives her a confused look. "Dearest, whatever could you be sorry for?" 

"I'll, I'll be good, I, I promise, please, I pr-promise."

"Darling, can you tell me what you're apologizing for?" What in the name of the Nine Realms could she be apologizing for? Have I somehow made her feel like she did something wrong? And what does she mean, promising to be good? 

[Y/N] cries harder. " Please! I'll be good, I swear, please don't, don't, don't…." She doesn't finish her sentence due to her increased sobs.

"Don't what? What do you not want me to do, dearest?" Loki asks as softly as he can, worried he'll only scare her. 

"Please, please, please, don-don't hurt my, my friends, please, I'll be good, I'll, I'll do everything you want, please. If, if you need to, hurt, hurt me instead."

Loki feels as if a brick was just slammed into his face. What did I do to lead her to the assumption that I would hurt her friends if she doesn't do what I want? And what is she apologizing for? What does she think I want her to do? She hasn't done anything that could be considered wrong! 

"I'm not going to hurt your friends, and I'm not going to hurt you, [Y/N], no matter what you do." He hopes this will comfort her, but she gets very pale.

"You, you won't hurt them? So, so, you will kill them?" she asks in terror. 

" No . I will not harm your friends or you in any way, and nothing you do can change that." He gently traces the side of her face and squeezes her hand. "I just want you to be safe."

"I know, I know, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please, please don-"

"Will you please tell me what you're apologizing for, darling? I'm confused. You haven't done anything wrong." 

[Y/N] scrunches her eyebrows and her sobbing slows. "I, I haven't?"

"No, [Y/N], you haven't. What do you think you did wrong?" Loki wipes away her tears, hoping there won't be much more left.

[Y/N] looks away from Loki, her cheeks turning pink. "I, I, I got sick," she tells him very quietly. "You, you wan' me safe, and, and I'm not. Please, don' hurt 'em, please, please."

"Oh, dearest, you poor thing," Loki croons as he smooths back her hair. Externally, he appears quite calm, while internally he is anything but calm. Does she normally think this, or is she saying this because her fever is making her less logical? Does she really think I'll hurt the other Avengers if she does something I don't want her to do? That I would be angry with her for getting sick, something completely out of her control? He thinks back to the events after she awoke untied. She never moved unless he directly told her she could, she apologized over seemingly little things or things out of her control, thanked him for everything, asked for anything she wanted, listened attentively, and responded positively to all of his suggestions. Loki mentally slaps himself. I should've seen all of that before now and stopped this at the beginning. For heaven's sake, she probably got ill from worrying about "being good." He sighs internally. She still is feverish, and not thinking straight. And she clearly doesn't believe me when I say I won't hurt anyone. I need to go along, just until she gets better and can reasoned with.

"[Y/N], dearest, you've been so good. You've done nothing wrong, nothing at all. We all get ill from time to time, it's not your fault. I'm not angry with you for being ill. You've been nothing but good. Thank you for being so good for me, darling." 

[Y/N] takes a few deep breaths and holds onto Loki's hand tightly. "Sorry for, for panicking."

"And I'm sorry for not being clear. You have been so, so good for me. I'll protect you, and I'll help you recover." 

[Y/N] smiles slightly as she leans into Loki's hand on her face. She looks away from Loki tiredly and faces the corner of her room directly across from the foot of her bed. Her eyes widen and her face pales. It looks like she's seeing a ghost. "No, no, no!"

Loki looks at where she's looking and sees nothing out of the ordinary. "Dearest, what's wrong?" 

She turns to look at Loki wide eyed and terrified. Before he can register what is happening, her arms are wrapped around his torso and she is flush against him. "Loki, please, don't let him hurt me again!" 

Loki wraps his arms around her waist and instinctively glances back at the corner. She must be hallucinating . But who does she see? "He won't touch you, dearest, no one will. I'll protect you."

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" [Y/N] sobs into his shoulder. "I'll be good, I swear, thank you, thank you!"

"I know you will be good for me, my darling. I'll keep you safe. He won't hurt a single hair on your head." [Y/N] continues sobbing as Loki holds her, thanking him for protecting her from this mysterious "him" and promising to "be good." Loki strokes her hair as he contemplates the situation. 

Who is she seeing? She is terrified of him, even more so than she is of me. She begged me to not let him hurt her "again." Who is he, and what did he do to [Y/N]? She said before that she had never been abducted before, and I know she wasn't lying. Come to think of it, I know nothing of her past. Could this "him" be a family member or significant other that abused her? Whoever he is, I need to pay him a visit and make him wish he had never laid his eyes on [Y/N] .

Soon, [Y/N]'s sobs die out as she falls asleep once again. Loki carefully places her back on her bed and covers her in blankets. He wipes her tears and cleans sweat off of her forehead. She looks peaceful in her sleep, not like she just hallucinated her past abuser and sobbed for twenty minutes. 

Loki glances at her phone for the time. Quarter to one in the morning. He leans against the desk, head on top of his arms, promising himself he'll stay up, only to break that promise in just a few minutes.

•••

Loki's POV, Some Time Ago

The Chitauri dragged him up a set of stairs, a long one. To Loki it was a blur, and all he can remember is the pain and the fear he felt. After quite some time, the Chitauri finally got him where they wanted him. The Other lead the way as the two others followed, dragging Loki by his arms. Please, for the love of Eternity, just kill me! I am useless to you! And, for heaven’s sakes, don’t go after the Infinity Stones! Loki tried to tell himself he was useless to the Chitauri, but he knew he wasn’t. He knew roughly where two of the Stones were. 

Finally, the Chitauri stopped. The two dragging him dropped him on the ground. Loki moaned in pain, unable to move. They pulled him back up after a moment, this time keeping him on his knees, holding his shoulders to keep him from falling. His neck was limp, and he sagged forward. He couldn’t see what was in front of him and why the Chitauri took him here.

“My Lord, we found something that may aid in your search for the Infinity Stones,” the Other announced. Lord? I thought the Other was the Kree leader? Who is this lord? “It is from a world that may have some connection to one or more Stones. We are unsure which planet it is from exactly, but it may lead you to the Stones, given the right persuasion.”

“I already know who this man is,” a deep voice said. “I am the one who led him here.” What in Allfather’s name is he talking about, leading me here? “Help him look up.” A second later, one of the Chitauri grabbed a fistful of Loki’s hair and pulled his head back. Loki was then able to see who the mysterious lord of the Chitauri was. He was in fact no Chitauri, but rather a titan. No. It can’t be. The only titan that was left was Thanos. The Mad Titan. The homicidal maniac who thought the universe was overpopulated, and his response was to kill half of all life, planet by planet. He wants the Stones? If he gets all six, he could have infinite power. He could destroy half of all life in the entire universe. He could destroy half of all life in every universe of the multiverse.  

“You have gone through a great deal of things recently, son of Laufey,” Thanos said, stepping down from his floating stone throne. How does he know I’m Laufey’s son? “King for a few days, you murdered your biological father, fought your foster brother, and didn’t get your foster father’s approval. All leading to this moment. You might feel lost and abandoned, but you aren’t. I led you right to me.” Thanos gestured to the Other to give him something. The Other walked past Loki’s line of vision. “You’re normally a level headed man. Not recently.”

The Other walked back to Thanos holding a scepter. Near the tip is a glowing blue stone. No! He already has a Stone! “The Chitauri has had the Mind Stone for millenia, with little need of it. Fortunately, they have allied themselves with me. I’m sure one who was raised on Asgard, such as yourself, would know who I am. I know there are three Stones in the Nine Realms, and the other two I have yet to learn. One such as yourself would be able to bring me the Stones on the Nine Realms. The Mind Stone is very useful. Even here, I was able to use it to influence your thoughts and actions to lead you here.”

You what ?! You used that Stone on me?! You’re the reason why my life fell apart?!

“I wouldn’t say your life has fallen apart. Your destiny has arrived. Yes, I know your thoughts. Every thought you have had since I first entered your mind. Thank you for letting me know about the two Stones on Terra. As for the other, I’m sure you’ll find it eventually.” 

Loki’s face fell. Without even knowing, he had told Thanos the location of two of the Stones. “I, I won’t get you the darn Stones, no matter what, I will, will always fight against you. You may as well kill me.” Loki’s voice was hoarse and quiet. He was unsure if Thanos heard him verbally, but either way Thanos heard his thoughts.

“I’m sure you’d try to be rebellious, but you simply can’t. Your mind will betray you. I won’t risk sending you unless I know you’ll be compliant. This Stone can do much more than influence your thoughts. I can control your thoughts and actions entirely.” Thanos walked closer to Loki. Loki couldn’t even look up without a Chitauri pulling out his roots. He couldn’t escape Thanos despite his desire to. Within a few seconds, the tip of the scepter touched Loki’s chest and the Stone glowed brighter.

Loki feels a sense of calmness wash over him. Why was I so scared about him doing this to me? Everything feels so peaceful . He then feels a need to do everything that Thanos asks of him, no matter the cost. A nagging voice in the back of his head tells him that this isn't right, but how could that be true? For the first time in his entire life, Loki feels like he belongs. Isn’t that a good thing?

“Laufey is dead, and Odin has disowned you, Loki of Asgard. But, with your loyalty, you have become one of the children of Thanos.”

•••

[Y/N]’s POV

Your eyes flutter open and you find yourself on the bed Loki gave you. You look back where you saw him earlier. How did he get here? Has he come after me? What happened to him? Where is he now? you think nervously. Loki keeps promising to protect me. Did he actually do so? 

You look to see if Loki is still with you. You don’t know what you expected, but it wasn’t Loki leaning on the desk, sleeping. You look at your phone for the time. Three in the morning. You don’t blame Loki for sleeping. You probably would too. 

The room smells like a mix of cherry and lavender, and you see some candles that are lit around the room. You don’t think they were there when you first saw the room. You feel much better now. You still feel a little sick, but nowhere near as bad as before. Loki told you repeatedly that he was taking care of you. You wonder if he used any more spells on you. You won’t know until Loki wakes up.

You roll over and try to go back to sleep. But everytime you close your eyes, you see his face. I’d rather not get any sleep than keep seeing him . You roll over onto your other side, facing Loki, who is no longer sleeping peacefully. You can’t see his face. His forehead is resting against his elbow. But you can tell his breathing is shaky now. He flinches harshly and takes a few heavy breaths. Loki quickly regains his composure and looks up.

“Did I wake you?” he asks drowsily.

“No,” you answer quietly.

“Are you feeling better?” You nod nervously. “Good, good,” he says as he rubs his eyes. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep.” Loki pauses. “How much do you remember?”

“All of it, I think. But none of it really makes sense.” You glance at the door. “Is he gone?”

Loki’s face softens. “He wasn’t here at all. You were hallucinating.”

Relief washes over you. He hasn’t found me. He’s still in prison. I don’t have to worry about him . “Thank heavens,” you mutter.

“Is he someone I should worry about? Is he trying to find you?” Loki asks worriedly. “If he is, I swear I will protect you from him.”

“No, he’s in prison.”

“Good. Who is he?”

You shake your head. “I don’t want to talk about it.” Please don’t make me tell you about him, please, I can’t deal with that right now .

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. I’m sorry about what he did to you, how he hurt you. You shouldn’t have had to go through that,” he says solemnly. 

You grip onto the blankets tightly. It’s bad enough that you have Loki to deal with. You don’t need to be shaken up by the past now, not when the present is hard on its own. Please, don’t ask me any more questions about this. “Please, I, I don’t want to keep talking about this,” you tell him quietly. 

Loki nods. “You said you’re feeling better. By how much?”

“I think I’m still sick, but not like I was before,” you answer, grateful Loki changed the subject.

“That’s good. What symptoms do you have?” he responds before reaching his hand out toward your face. You flinch violently. It’s okay, [Y/N], it’s okay. You aren’t there anymore, it’s alright. “I’m only going to check your temperature.” 

You nod shakily before he puts the back of his hand on your forehead. “Sorry, I’m really shaken up right now. I’m still cold and tired, my head hurts, but nowhere near like before. It feels like how I normally feel when sick, so not that bad.” 

“Any feelings of disorientation?” Loki asks as he removes his hand from your forehead. You shake your head. “Good, good. You’re doing a lot better.” He pauses for a moment, eyeing you with concern, almost as if he is trying to make a decision. “You still need rest though.”

You shake your head. “I can’t sleep. I keep seeing him,” you tell Loki quietly.

“I could help with that, if you would like me to,” he says.

“What do you mean?”

“I can guide your mind towards a more pleasant memory. Now, keep in mind that no individual memory is in a vacuum. All of your memories are connected, so it is possible that, over time, you’ll find your way back to him .”

“Wanda does something kind of like that for me sometimes. It doesn’t always work, but it’s better than nothing.”

“Would you want me to do that then?”

“Yes, please, that would be nice.” 

“Absolutely.” He pauses. “I’m going to put my hand on your head, alright?” he asks, most likely because of how you reacted earlier. You nod as you get into a more comfortable position on your side. Loki puts his hand on your forehead palm down. “Think about what memory you want.” You think of the same memory as you do everytime Wanda does this to help you sleep. You nod to tell Loki that you are ready. You feel yourself growing very tired and unable to open your eyes. You feel Loki take his hand off of you, and then you are asleep.

Chapter Text

Loki’s POV

Loki brushes some hair off of [Y/N]’s face before he exits her bedroom. Her fever has gone down enough that Loki isn’t worried. The best remedy is rest. With her fever taken care of, Loki has more concerns. He never expected [Y/N] to have as dark of a past as she does. He never thought he’d see the look of terror on her face while she hallucinated a mystery man, a man that hurt her. There is a lot more to [Y/N] than he knows. 

Loki goes into his own bedroom, a mirror copy of [Y/N]’s, and sits on his bed, taking a notepad and pen off of his desk. Her past is hers to share. I won’t search for answers. But it would be wise to keep a list of what I do know, in order to help her feel safe . There is the obvious. [Y/N] was hurt. But, based off of her actions, Loki can theorize more. Even if he is wrong, it would be better to be overcautious than to be careless. 

• [Y/N] was hurt by a man.

• I am the only one to ever abduct [Y/N].

• The man who hurt [Y/N] is in prison.

• [Y/N] had to “be good” for the man who hurt her.

• She has had nightmares about the man who hurt her. Frequency is unknown.

• Maximoff guided [Y/N]’s mind away from memories of this man.

• [Y/N]’s fear of me is nothing compared to her fear of this man. 

• “Being good” may have included:
• Asking permission for literally everything,
• Obeying the man’s orders,
• Responding positively to everything coming from the man,
• Apologizing when falling short,
• And more.

• [Y/N] may be reverting back to her behaviors while she was being hurt, fearing I am like this man.

• [Y/N] asked to not talk about her past. This is a good sign. If she were completely reverted back to old patterns, she would have told me since I asked. Even better, she did not ask permission to not tell me, she asked to change the subject. Breaking multiple of this man’s rules, proving that she is not entirely reverted.

• [Y/N] may feel at fault for things entirely out of her control.

• There were no signs of any of this before I untied her, at least not any I can think of.

• [Y/N] may jump to conclusions. I could be confusing her by not giving a set of rules to follow. It is also possible that the man never told her his rules, and she had to learn for herself, hopefully before she was punished.

• This may be because [Y/N] is Inhuman. If so, there may be self-esteem issues surrounding her powers.

• Maximoff knew, meaning the other Avengers may have known. That may explain how protective they are of [Y/N]. They may think I will be like the man.

• [Y/N] still thinks I am like this man, but she thinks her friends will be hurt, not her, and she begged for me to hurt her instead.

• Sudden movements frighten her.

• Touching her may frighten her.

• Loud sounds (vocal or not) may frighten her.

• [Y/N] may at least partially believe the lies the man fed her about how she has to “be good.”

• [Y/N] may try to hide how much she is affected by the man.

• [Y/N] did become sick from worrying about “being good.”

Loki sighs as he looks over his list, his cursive covering an entire page. Much of it is speculation. Very little is confirmed. Loki sets the notepad on his desk before he begins to change before laying in bed. What’s going to happen when she wakes up? Will I be able to convince her that I won’t punish her? Even if I can, she may still act like I will, acting completely out of habit. Loki laughs softly at the absurdity of all of this. She needs someone to talk to, and she certainly won’t want to talk this out with me. Loki ponders this dilemma for a moment. [Y/N] certainly won’t want to tell Loki all of her feelings. She may do so if she thinks he will force her to anyway. Loki hopes that isn’t the case. All of this is very traumatic. She shouldn’t have to keep this to herself. I wish that I could comfort her, but I don’t think I can. Loki rolls over and gets comfortable, deciding to sleep on the problem. He hasn’t gotten much sleep since meeting [Y/N], which Loki is starting to regret. It’s been a long week, for both him and [Y/N], though most certainly worse for [Y/N]. Both of them need rest for what’s in store.

•••

Your POV

You don’t want to wake up. You don’t want to deal with reality. Your sleep wasn’t plagued with trauma. Your dreams were pleasant. Reality is a living nightmare. 

You look around and find yourself alone. Loki isn’t here this time, watching you while you sleep. You shudder thinking about it. Loki has done it three times. At least, three times you know of. It’s as if Loki cares nothing for your privacy. Which he might not. Who knows what he thinks of you? A slave? A pet? Eye candy? A hostage, ensuring your friends’ cooperation? Someone to keep him company? An ally, given enough manipulation? An experiment? Who knows?

So much of everything is unknown. You’ve never been this far in the dark. You always had an idea of what was happening, what was expected of you, what you had to do. Now you are in the hands of the most cryptic being in the universe. It’s easier to understand quantum mechanics than what is going through Loki’s head. You would feel so much better if you even knew just a fraction of what was happening. At least, you hope that Loki hasn’t planned anything for you that would make you feel worse if you knew.

You slowly stand, walking carefully to your, no, the bathroom. None of this is yours. None of this is permanent. They can be taken away at any moment. Nothing can be taken for granted, not even the air you breathe. You own nothing here. Loki could take everything away with a snap, including your life and the lives of everyone else. When you make it to the bathroom, you gasp when you see your reflection. Looking back at you is a tear stained face, your mascara from the day you were captured darkening your face. There are dark circles under your eyes, emphasized by your ruined mascara. Your eyes are bloodshot. Your hair falls in greasy, tangled clumps framing your face. You haven’t looked anything like this since….

Before you think about anything else, you grab some spare clothes from the closet and turn on the faucet in the tub. You triple check that the door is locked before stripping and getting in the tub. Though, of course, the lock would be a minor inconvenience if Loki wanted to enter. There are probably dozens of ways he could get in. You pray that Loki stays away. It’s one thing to watch you while you sleep. Creepy, but, circumstances considered, semi-bearable. It’s a completely different thing to do really anything now.

You work hard at scrubbing yourself. Nine days worth of sweat, dirt, and tears have built up on you. Well, not nine average days. Nine days of constant trauma. You can’t help but cry. You hate how vulnerable you have been in front of Loki. He can, and probably will, use everything against you. It’s comforting to be alone, to not have Loki pretending to care for you. You can express all of your emotions without fear of manipulation. You wash your hair, wincing when you pull on your hair in an attempt to free the tangles. You wait until you can stop yourself from crying before you wash your face and get out of the tub. You want to at least for one moment look as normal as possible.

You get dressed in jeans, a black hoodie, and white Converse and French braid your hair. You leave the bathroom, not sure what to do. This is the first time you have been alone and untied. You grab your phone from its charger and turn it on to see what it can do. You have some messages in your voice box, as well as new texts and emails, but you can’t find a way to answer back. You can look at social media, but can’t add anything yourself. You can access everything on your phone, except what you really want. I need to talk to someone , especially after last night. That someone can’t be Loki. I don’t want to make myself more vulnerable to him. You sigh as you put your phone in your back pocket. Looking for something to do, you grab the clothes you were wearing before. You fold your combat suit and set it in your dresser and hang the hoodie up. You investigate the room, starting with the candles. They weren't there when Loki first brought you here. They smell like a combination of lavender and cherry. All of them are still burning, and most of the wax remains unmelted. Asgardian maybe? It would explain the efficiency and scent. You pull the chest out from under your bed and open it to find spare blankets, sheets, and pillowcases. There are small shelves against the walls, all of which are bare. 

Which leaves you with the options of sleeping, playing Minecraft, sitting around, or venturing out of the room. You don't want to risk nightmares, so no sleeping. Minecraft will depress you, because you always play with one of your friends, and you can't now. And you're going to go insane without something to do. You do your best to remain calm as you try to remember what Loki has given you permission to do. He said I can go around the house. He said I can read the books in the room down the hall. You take a deep breath. It’ll be fine. Loki won’t mind. But I can’t read unless I get a book myself. Your entire life, you have read to escape the world. A good book can distract you enough to relax. You darn well need some escapism now.

Your hand shakes as you turn the door knob. You tense as you open the door. The hallway is empty. You slowly walk forward, one foot in front of the other. You rush past the doorways. You have no idea where Loki is, and you would like to keep it that way. You have never wanted to be alone so much in your life. When you make it to the final doorway, you look back down the way you came to make sure Loki isn’t behind you. You sigh with relief. I’m halfway done. All I need to do is go inside, find a book, and go back to my, no, the bedroom. You take a deep breath and open the door. 

You gasp when you see Loki sitting on the couch, reading a book. It’s as if time stopped all around you, with only you and Loki unaffected. Loki looks up from his book before softly smiling at you. “Good morning, my darling. Did you sleep well?” Your heart is pounding as if it is trying to launch itself out of your ribcage. You want to run, you want to hide, but you can’t. Your go-to fear response is to freeze, leaving you incapable of moving. You examine Loki’s face, hoping to know what type of mood he is in. He is still smiling at you, though one of his eyebrows is raised in concern. Why am I trying to read his expressions? He is the God of Lies. He probably can hide his emotions easily. You pray that he isn’t angry. You don’t know why he would be, but it’s not like anything has made sense since you met Loki. “[Y/N], I need you to take some deep breaths for me,” Loki tells you gently. “I know that you’re scared. There is nothing wrong with being scared. But I need you to calm down a touch. Can you try for me?” You nod frantically, not wanting to disappoint. You close your eyes and try to focus on your breathing. You start with short breaths, slowly elongating each breath until long, deep breaths feel natural. Bruce taught you that trick for when you have nightmares. Soon enough, you settle down a little. Your terror is there, but it isn’t manifesting as blind panic. 

You open your eyes and look at Loki before looking down at your feet. “Is this, is this better?” you stutter. You shove your hands in your pockets, not knowing what to do with them.

“Much better.” Out of your peripheral vision, you see Loki stand. “Did you sleep well?” You nod. Loki’s anti-nightmare spell worked. “Good. You needed the rest. How are you feeling?”

“Better,” you answer quietly.

“Brilliant. And your legs?”

“They’re bearable.”

You tense as Loki approaches you. “Perhaps it would be best if you sat down, dearest. I don’t want you pushing yourself.” You nod and walk to the couch. Loki walks next to you and for once doesn’t touch you. You sit on one end of the couch while Loki sits on the other, leaving a gap between you and him. You bounce your leg and look at your lap, feeling Loki watching you. You hear him sigh. “[Y/N], dearest, there is something we have to talk about. It is extremely important.” 

“Okay,” you answer nervously. What could there be to talk about? Loki refuses to tell me everything. 

You look at Loki, who’s face softens. “Last night, you begged me not to hurt anyone and swore you would ‘be good.’ You thought I would punish you because you were sick. I am worried about you, [Y/N]. If you don’t want to tell me about your past, then don’t. I am not entitled to know. But I think you might be reverting back to patterns from when you were hurt. I am not like him, dearest. I am not going to hurt anyone. I am not going to punish you for not doing what I say. I am not going to create a long list of rules for you to follow. The reason I brought you here is because you were in danger, and I have to protect you. I want you to be happy. I swear, on my mother, I am being honest. I understand that many of these patterns may be habits, and you will react as if I am him. I swear, you will be protected. Anyone that seeks your suffering will answer to me, as will any who have already brought you suffering.”

You look down at your lap, unsure of how to respond. You shift uncomfortably and nod, attempting to hide your emotions. You glance at Loki, who is eying you with concern. You look away and fold your arms, hugging yourself. You struggle to keep your breathing steady. Why does he keep bringing this up? If he really cared, he would drop it! At the same time, you are surprised that once again, Loki swore on Frigga. He’s sworn to not hurt me, and sworn that he is being honest. If he is being honest, he won’t hurt anyone, and the reason he kidnapped me was to protect me? But that makes no sense!

“You are very brave, dearest.” You look at Loki in surprise. What on Earth is he talking about? I keep breaking down in tears in front of him. “Do you think you aren’t? Without fear, bravery and courage could not possibly exist. Yes, you are scared, and you have every right to be. But look at what you’ve done. This is your ninth day here, and you could have told me everything about your team, or pledged your service to me. Instead, the only new information I have is that you were hurt, you have stayed loyal to your friends, and you have worried about the lives of others over your own. You have been very courageous, and I admire you for it.”

You look over at Loki again. He looks sincere, but looks can be deceiving. “Thanks,” you say awkwardly.

“You are most welcome, darling. I am so sorry about all of this. I wish it never came to this. But this had to happen, for both our sakes. And I am so sorry about before, when you were hurt. I understand that you don’t want to talk with me about this, which is why I have a gift for you.” 

“You do?” you ask in surprise.

“Most certainly. Miss Maximoff and I are still telepathically connected. You said I mind controlled her before, when I actually can control her body, not her mind. And I can let her use my body for short periods of time. You don’t want to talk with me, so why not talk with someone you trust?”

“Really?”

“Really. As you know, I have been through something similar. I was alone then, with no one to turn to. I don’t want you to have the same fate, and I know that you don’t want to tell me about all of this.”

“Would you be listening the entire time?” you ask nervously. If Loki is going to listen to me, I’ll have to limit what I tell Wanda .

“If you want me to, but I assume you won’t.”

“When?”

“Now. Allow me a moment to prepare though.” Loki closes his eyes and seems to focus. “As a warning, I am stronger physically than your friend is. It will take her time to adjust to my body. She might hug you too tight on accident, or something similar. She isn’t trying to hurt you, she just isn’t used to my strength. I will warn her as well.”

You nod, growing excited. He’s actually doing this! I can’t believe it!

•••

Wanda’s POV

“Wanda.”

Loki? What do you want now? Wanda tries to open her eyes, but her eyelids don’t budge. What are you doing?

“I need your help.”

I am not going to do your dirty work!

“I don’t need that type of help. I need you to talk to [Y/N].”

This throws Wanda off. You really want me to talk to her?

“Yes, I’ll give you partial control over my body. [Y/N] needs someone to talk to, and she doesn’t want to talk to me. I understand that she doesn’t trust me, but I am worried about her. Please help her.”

What happened? Why are you worried? Why does she need to talk to someone?

“Perhaps it is best if [Y/N] explains. I don’t fully know what is wrong. Before we begin, please remember that I have more physical strength than you. Be careful when touching her. It will take you some time to adjust to my body. Please don’t hurt [Y/N]. She has enough hardship already. Are you ready to start?”

Without hesitation, Wanda answers. Yes.

•••

Your POV

You watch as Loki concentrates, waiting for your chance to talk to Wanda. “Dearest, Wanda will be with you...now.” Loki flinches, and he looks around at his surroundings. Or, rather, Wanda flinches inside Loki’s body and looks around Loki’s surroundings. “[Y/N]?” she asks worriedly when she sees you. 

“Wanda, is, is that really you?” you ask, not quite believing this is happening. “What, what’s something only we know?”

“Uh, we watched an old PG movie together, but PG-13 wasn’t a rating back then, and R covers more things now than it did then, and there was a scene with light nudity, and we didn’t know that was allowed in PG movies before. I don’t remember what the movie was, it wasn’t too good anyway, but we could not stop laughing, and we never even finished it,” Wanda says. It’s odd to watch. She is speaking with Loki’s voice, but you can recognize Wanda’s vocal patterns. You are looking at Loki’s face, but you are seeing Wanda’s facial expressions on his face. You aren’t focused on that though, not now, when it’s Wanda you’re speaking to, not Loki.

In front of Loki, you have been holding back tears. You don’t want to make yourself any more vulnerable in front of him. You don’t care if Wanda sees you cry. You close the gap between you and Loki’s body and lean against Loki, letting your tears fall. Wanda wraps Loki’s arms around you only barely. You wrap your arms around Loki. “Wanda, I know Loki’s stronger than you, but I’m not a porcelain doll.”

Wanda holds you tighter. “Is this too much?” she asks, Loki’s voice etched with worry.

You shake your head and hold on tighter. “Thank you for all this,” you say in between sobs.

“No, you don’t have to thank me,” Wanda responds. “What happened? Loki said he was worried about you. I don’t believe him, but I sure as heck am worried.” 

You tell Wanda everything. She is completely silent as you tell her about everything that has happened to you. You feel Loki’s body tense at times, such as when you tell Wanda about your hallucinations. You cry throughout your entire tale. Saying everything aloud helps you process it all. You hold onto Loki tightly, as if the second you loosen your grip, Wanda will disappear. 

“I’m so sorry, [Y/N], I’m so sorry,” Wanda says when you finish. “But I’m glad he hasn’t hurt you. We all were terrified that you were being tortured.” Wanda explains to you how she and Loki had spoken telepathically, that they tried to use that connection to track Loki, but that he was only showing Wanda illusions of you, and was nowhere near you. FRIDAY found Loki in Brooklyn and the Avengers fought him momentarily, but he escaped. When they came back to the Compound, there was an illusion of Loki and you unconscious. Loki told them that if they didn’t do anything to try to find him or you, no one would get hurt. You knew about Loki’s deal, but you didn’t know he had been in touch with Wanda. 

“So no one has any idea what the heck Loki wants?” you ask, hoping the others know something you don’t.

“We don’t. He hasn’t used your knowledge or abilities. It could be that he needs a hostage to stop us from trying anything, and you don’t fit into his plans in any other way.”

“He told me that I’m in danger, and that he’s protecting me before he swore on Frigga. But why would he care if I’m in danger? And I’ve been in danger most of my life! Why does he suddenly care whether I live or die?”

“I don’t know. And why is he teaching you how to fight? Wouldn’t that obviously be a bad idea?”

“Maybe not,” you wonder. “I wouldn’t be able to defeat him, not for years. And even if he and I had equal skill, he still has the advantage of greater physical strength. Not to mention that Earth-made knives can’t pierce his skin. So maybe it’s a last resort, if somehow whatever he wants to protect me from gets through him, I still have a fighting chance. He has to keep the spell that stops my powers on me, because he’s a frost giant, so my powers might affect him a lot. So now he has to teach me other forms of defense.” 

“But why is this different? All of us are in danger. Heck, he’s been a big part of the danger we’re in for a long time. But all of a sudden, he’s worried about your safety,” Wanda adds. She pauses for a moment. “Loki did say that this was temporary. Maybe there is something that is specifically dangerous to you that we don’t know about. So he kidnapped you so that whatever he’s protecting you from doesn’t know where you are. And then he’ll free you when either he or us stops whatever has Loki so worried.”

“Which leads us back to the question of why he cares. Why would he care if I died? That would just be one less Avenger to deal with. Heck, the first thing he did when he escaped his cell was make sure I didn’t use my powers on him. I don’t know how much fire hurts him, but I’d imagine that it would be a problem. If I died, then he wouldn’t have to worry about my fire. So maybe he does have a use for me, but not necessarily now, but Loki has to stop my death for whatever he wants me to do in the future.” You laugh at the mess you’re in. “Of course, all of this is assuming that I actually am in danger and that he isn’t lying.”

You feel Loki’s body shudder. “If he is lying, why?”

“I don’t know.” You ponder for a moment. “We both know that his family is a mess. Giving and receiving love is a fundamental human need. When was the last time someone was affectionate towards Loki? Maybe that's what this is about."

"He should've gotten a dog instead," Wanda says. "So maybe he just wants a friend. Or maybe he did have other intentions, but now he's distracted by you. He tried to comfort you almost immediately. And now he's realizing how much he missed having a family, and he's trying to replicate it as much as he can with you."

"The opposite of Stockholm Syndrome," you add, deep in thought. "Which begs the questions:  how desperate is Loki? What lengths will he go to to preserve this? Even after whatever is supposedly dangerous to me passes, will he keep me here so that he has someone to be affectionate with? Will he want me to return the favor, to give him love? And is this ‘love’ he’s showing actually love, or is it some twisted disguise for ‘love?’ If so, does Loki think that he is showing me love?”

“And what type of love are we referring to here? Friendly? Familial? Romantic? Or is it a general, selfless love for others?” Wanda adds. “I would guess not selfless love, considering everything he’s done.”

“Whatever type of ‘love’ this is, it isn’t healthy,” you respond. “It’s obsessive. Loki could literally be addicted to this, and if he isn’t now, if something doesn’t change, he will be. He gets a big rush of dopamine or whatever the frost giant equivalent is every time he does something affectionate towards me. That’s what happens to all of us when we love someone, love is addictive. And since it’s been so long since Loki was in a place where he could feel or show love, how could he not be obsessed?”

“Which means we have to get you out of here as soon as possible,” Wanda replies.

“No, no! Loki’s right! If you try to find me, people will get hurt! I know everyone would do their best to prevent casualties. But casualties are inevitable. Hopefully, Loki will release me soon enough. You need to focus on stopping whatever has Loki worried about me, because then he’ll release me!” 

“If Loki is telling the truth. He’s the God of Lies, everything he said could’ve been a lie and we would never know. All we can do is speculate. Maybe the only one you’re in danger of is Loki.” Wanda sighs. “I promise, I’ll make sure we look into anything that might be a threat to you, but we have to keep on looking for you, just in case.”

“Please, don’t let anyone get hurt,” you beg.

“I’ll do my best, you know that. Anyway, how much do you think Loki knows? About you?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think he knows anything about, well, you know. If he did, I think he would have made a lot of different choices about his interactions with me, since he at least wants to make it look like he cares about me. I’m guessing he knows only about my powers. My strengths, my weaknesses, and he knows from personal experience that I am not that great with hand to hand combat. But it wouldn’t be hard for him to learn a lot about me. Just look at some older news articles, and he’ll know. He hasn’t asked me for any sort of information though, and actually said that he wouldn’t pry. He knows I was hurt, thanks to my hallucinations, but he doesn't know any of the context. He keeps saying that I don’t have to tell him what happened if I don’t want to.”

Wanda sighs. “All of this is crazy. They should’ve just given him a dog on Asgard, then he would’ve been fine.”

“I think he’s more of a cat person, but it would have been even better if Odin actually knew how to be a father. Then we wouldn’t have to worry about Loki at all.”

“So you think Loki was a victim?”

You shrug. “Partially. I mean, Odin lied to him his entire life, and he raised Loki to think every frost giant is a monster. It doesn’t excuse what Loki has done, but it does help explain it.”

“Fair. Did Loki tell you how long we could talk?”

“No, he didn’t.” For the next fifteen minutes, you and Wanda talk. Wanda tells you what is happening at the Compound. None of the Avengers are coping very well with your kidnapping, though some are doing worse than others. Your heart aches for them. You ask Wanda to make sure everyone takes care of themselves. Starving themselves or depriving themselves of sleep aren’t going to help you. You make a few requests, some of them serious, others not so much. You find yourself laughing when Wanda tells you some of the less serious stuff at the Compound. This is the first time you’ve truly laughed in what feels like forever. 

But, unfortunately, it can’t last forever.

Loki’s face drops. “Loki just told me that we need to wrap up.”

You rub your sleeves across your face, wiping away any remaining tears. “Does it look like I’ve been crying? I don’t want to keep looking helpless in front of Loki.”

“It’s not too obvious. You’ll be fine.”

You hug Loki’s body tight. “Thank you so much for all of this,”

Wanda hugs you back. “I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. Please be careful.” 

“You too. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

Once you finish your sentence, you feel Loki finch in your arms. You push away from Loki and back away, back into the opposite side of the couch. Loki looks at you with the warm smile he always has for you. “Did you enjoy?” 

You nod. “Thank you,” you answer, more earnest than you wished. 

“You are most welcome, dearest.”

Chapter Text

Sam’s POV

Sam leaves his room and heads towards the kitchen to make himself some lunch. Eating would be a good idea. After skipping breakfast and working out for a few hours, eating would be a very good idea. Sam stops when he gets to the living room and sees Bucky lying on the couch, reading a book. “How long have you been here?” Sam asks. Bucky had been in that same spot the day before. 

“Hm? Oh, I dunno,” Bucky responds, not looking away from his book. He’s about three quarters of the way through, and another book is on the floor next to the couch. Sam walks closer to see what book he’s reading. The Fellowship of the Ring . And on the floor is The Hobbit . 

He reads fast because he takes information in faster than most people because of the serum, but that still would have taken a long time for him to read . “When did you last sleep?”

“Not sure,” Bucky admits. “I’ll live.” Sam sighs and pushes the book down to see Bucky’s face. There are dark circles under his eyes. Bucky rolls his eyes. “Could you not? I’m trying to read.”

“You need to sleep!” Sam tells him. “And eat, since I’m guessing you haven’t done that either.” Sam takes the book out of his hands and puts the cover’s sleeve in it before pulling Bucky up. “C’mon, we’re getting you something to eat. And then you are sleeping. I will knock you out if I have to.”

Bucky sighs. “Fine.” He walks with Sam to the kitchen, his movements sluggish, worrying Sam. When did he last sleep? It feels like I’ve been telling him to sleep almost every day since Loki took [Y/N] . He must’ve slept every few days, right? In the kitchen, Sam reheats some alfredo's someone made the night before for himself and Bucky. They sit down together in silence. Sam keeps an eye on Bucky. He isn’t sure how tired Bucky is, and if he should be worried about potential passing out or not. 

They both turn to look at Wanda when she comes running. “There you are, I’ve been looking for you.” Her eyes are wide, giving her a look of anxiousness. What on Earth happened? “Loki contacted me again.”

Sam and Bucky stand up. “What happened? What does he want?” Bucky asks, worry in his voice.

“I’ll gather everyone in the living room,” FRIDAY says before Wanda can say anything. The three wait anxiously until everyone else comes to them. Sam keeps a close eye on Bucky still. He is taking [Y/N]’s abduction harder than the others. Which doesn’t surprise Sam at all. This is what led to the sleep deprivation and starvation, Sam assumes. 

After a few minutes (that felt like forever), everyone is in the living room with them. “What happened?” Bucky asks softly from his seat on the couch. His elbows are on his knees and his head in his hands. 

“I was standing, about to leave my room, when I couldn’t move or open my eyes. Loki was talking to me. He said he needed me to do something. I thought he was going to make me do something here, attack you again or have me steal or something like that. Instead he made me talk with [Y/N],” Wanda starts.

“Is she okay?” “Was she hurt?” “Wait, what?” “Why?” Those questions and many others are thrown at Wanda. Everyone is anxious to know what happened and why. 

“Hey, let her continue!” Steve shouts above the questions, shutting everyone up for Wanda when no one showed any signs of stopping.

“He said he was worried about her, and that he wanted [Y/N] to have someone she trusts to talk to. So he gave me some control over his body. I could see where he was. He was sitting on a couch next to [Y/N]. And then I talked to her. She told me everything that happened to her.” 

Wanda tells them about how Loki had [Y/N] tied to a chair for eight days in a cold basement. He would see her often, terrifying [Y/N]. For some reason, Loki has been relatively kind, all things considered. Which only managed to terrify [Y/N] more, and for good reason. She thought he could be manipulating her, which is probably true. Loki promised not to hurt her, and told her he had been tortured on Asgard (this surprises and worries Thor, who apparently had no knowledge of such). 

Loki untied her, and [Y/N] was in pain because she moved, something she had not done in eight days. She was in so much pain that she passed out in Loki’s arms. She woke up on a couch, Loki sitting next to her, terrified, but no longer in pain. He told her that he wanted to teach her how to use knives (the most confusing part of all this). Then Loki told her about his illusionary visit to the Compound and the deal made. [Y/N] panicked. She knew they wouldn’t care, that they’d look for her regardless so long as they were subtle. She didn’t want anyone to get hurt. Loki held her and she cried on his shoulder. 

Even after the tears stopped, Loki held her, and [Y/N] did nothing because she didn’t want to anger him. Loki only let go when she asked for a blanket to keep her warm, which he did give her. He asked her if she wanted to have a look around her prison. She said yes because she didn’t want to know what would happen if she said no. She could barely walk, her muscles unused to holding her weight up, so Loki helped her not topple over. Loki had gotten a small house somehow, and that’s where he is keeping [Y/N]. He gave her a bedroom to herself and said she could lock herself in to keep him out if she wanted. 

Loki started to teach her about knives, but she soon collapsed, having gotten a fever. Loki carried her to bed, and she quickly passed out. She woke up in the middle of the night, crying. Loki was at her bedside. [Y/N] cried for forgiveness, her fevered mind thinking Loki was angry at her for her sickness. She promised she would be good (everyone shudders when Wanda says these words). She thought Loki would punish her by hurting them. Loki didn’t understand what was happening at first, but once he did he promised he was not angry and that she had been good. [Y/N] calmed down hearing that, but then the hallucinations began. She saw Lord, the despicable bastard that hurt her. [Y/N] begged Loki to protect her, and he promised he would. She soon fell asleep, crying in Loki’s arms. 

A couple hours later, she woke up again, more level headed, unable to sleep. Loki told her she had been hallucinating when she asked where Lord was. He used some sort of spell on her to help [Y/N] sleep without nightmares. 

[Y/N] woke up again, alone, today. She eventually built up the courage to grab a book from another room. Unfortunately, Loki happened to be in that room. The sight of him brought [Y/N] to the brink of a panic attack. Loki got her to calm down enough for him to talk to her though. He promised he wouldn’t hurt anyone, that he wasn’t like Lord. Loki didn’t know who [Y/N] saw in her hallucinations, implying that he doesn’t know anything about her past. 

Then Loki let [Y/N] talk to Wanda. “We talked about a lot of things. [Y/N] has no clue why Loki took her. Loki actually said that he could not tell, not that he would not. Which doesn’t explain much. But we have a couple theories.”

“Such as?” Natasha asks.

“Well, he’s repeatedly told her that he is protecting her from some sort of danger. There might be someone or something out there we don’t know about that Loki does know about that is specifically dangerous to [Y/N]. Maybe he needs her alive for something down the road, so he can’t let whatever it is kill her now. Or he could be lying about that and have something else planned for her.” Wanda sighs, running her hand through her hair. “What I’m more worried about is this. We all know that his, uh, familial life isn’t ideal. Especially if he wasn’t lying about Odin ordering his torture. I know that you care about him, Thor, but I don’t think he really realizes that. He probably thinks he’s out on his own. Well, almost immediately, Loki was sympathetic towards [Y/N]. And now he’s letting her cry on his shoulder and letting her talk to me. Love is a universal need. Maybe this chance to show affection, no matter how messed up, is distracting him from whatever his plan is. Or maybe that was the plan, to find someone that he could love.”

“That would work with the insufferable jab from before,” Tony points out. “Y’know, kidnap the kind, sweet girl that would apologize if you ran into her, not the guy with no filter and will get incrementally more sarcastic.” 

Sam watches as Bucky tenses, hearing Wanda and Tony’s words. 

Wanda continues. “She also made me promise to make sure none of you did anything stupid. Like starving yourselves or refusing to sleep or overworking yourselves. She told me to do whatever is needed to stop you.” 

“Wait, are you saying you’re going to mind control us to take care of ourselves?” Clint asks. 

“If needed, yes. I promised [Y/N] I’d do what I could to keep you guys from being idiotic like that.” Some people sigh, resigning to their fate. 

“Is there anything else [Y/N] or Loki said?” Bruce asks.

“That was all that was important. [Y/N] and I talked for fifteen minutes after we handled all of that, we talked about a lot of non-important things to Loki,” Wanda answers. 

Tony sighs. “Well, FRIDAY has it all recorded. I’ll go through it, see if I can come up with anything. You’re welcome to join.” He heads back to the lab.

Bucky stands up to follow. “No.” Wanda and Sam say simultaneously.

“You heard me, you are going to take care of yourself,” Wanda says. 

“And you did kind of promise me you’d get some sleep,” Sam adds. “I will let you know if anything important happens, okay? But you need to sleep. You’re not helping [Y/N] by depriving yourself of sleep.”

“Fine,” Bucky mutters, going back to his room, Wanda and Sam following.

Before they got to Bucky’s room, Wanda had them stop in front of [Y/N]’s, a door away from Bucky’s. “There was something else [Y/N] asked me to do, but I thought it was more private so I didn’t say it before.” She uses her powers to bypass the electronic lock on [Y/N]’s door and heads inside, followed by Sam and Bucky. The two men watch as Wanda pulls a box out of [Y/N]’s drawers. “She wanted to make sure you had this,” Wanda says, giving Bucky the box.

Loki’s POV  

Loki watches [Y/N] as she wraps her arms around her chest and looks down at her lap. Her eyes are glistening, showing how close she is to tears. Loki contemplates his next move, not wanting to frighten her. “I’m glad I could help you. Is there anything else I can do for you?”

[Y/N]’s eyebrows furrow. She gives Loki a quizzical look. “What, what do you mean?”

“Would you like something to eat? Drink?” Loki asks, narrowing the question for her. Open ended questions might be a bit too much for her right now . “Or is there something else I can get for you?” he adds, keeping the question more focused but open to multiple answers.

“I, uh-” [Y/N]’s eyes dart around, looking for something. She closes her eyes and takes a few deep breaths. “Yes, I, I’d like to, to eat,” she stutters. 

Loki smiles warmly. “Very well, I am happy to be of service, dearest.” He stands and offers his hand to help [Y/N] stand. [Y/N] hesitantly takes his hand, and Loki pulls her up. She glances back at a shelf before looking at the ground. Loki tilts his head. “Something caught your eye?” [Y/N] looks up at him in surprise before staring back at the floor, nodding her head slightly. “Darling, you don’t need permission,” Loki starts gently. “Remember? I’m not making any rules for you.” [Y/N] stays frozen for a couple seconds, and then briskly walks to the shelf. She grabs a couple of books and holds them tightly across her chest. She heads back to Loki, staying out of arm's reach. “I won’t take them from you, I promise,” he assures her. “After you,” he says, gesturing for her to leave the room. 

[Y/N] hesitantly walks out of the room, into the kitchen, followed by Loki, who keeps a respectful distance. When they head inside, Loki walks past [Y/N] to the table at the breakfast nook and pulls out a chair for her. [Y/N] sits, hesitant, presumably due to Loki being so close behind her. “What would you like, my dearest?” Loki asks softly. 

Loki watches her tense. “I, um, what do you have?” Loki lists off some options for her, speaking slowly and clearly. After a moment, [Y/N] bows her head slightly, looking at her lap. “You, you don’t have to, to cook for me, if it’s too much trouble. I, I can make myself something to, to eat,” she says, sounding almost guilty.

“No, it’s no trouble at all, darling,” Loki assures. “Can we be honest with each other, though?” Immediately, [Y/N] gets tense and starts shaking. “No, no, I’m not angry at you, dearest. Just worried, that is all. If you don’t want me to cook for you, that’s alright. I don’t want to overstep. If you don’t want me to, say the word, and I won’t do it. But I can’t do that if I don’t know what you want. If you don’t want something, you can tell me. I won’t get angry or offended. You don’t have to be subtle or ask in a roundabout way. Do you understand?”

[Y/N] nods. “No, it’s, uh, I, I don’t want to be difficult, or to be a burden,” she tells Loki quietly. “I wasn’t lying, I swear.” Her voice cracks at the end.

“Sh, it’s alright, I believe you, dearest. I didn’t mean to imply that you were lying. I just had to make certain you knew you could say no. I wasn’t certain whether you were trying to subtly say no to me cooking at all or not. But you really are too kind. It really isn’t any trouble. I am happy to help. But if it makes you uncomfortable, I won’t take offense. You can absolutely make something for yourself.”

[Y/N] lets out a breath. “I, I don’t think I should be cooking now, I can’t, I can’t stop shaking,” she admits. “So, you, you can cook.”

“Okay, I am more than happy to do so. What would you like?” Loki repeats what there is available. [Y/N] gives her answer after a moment’s consideration. “May I touch your shoulders? If you recall, I have to modify the homeostasis spell before you can eat. Right now, it is giving you every nutrient you need, and will continue to give that same amount, no matter how much you eat. I need to modify it so that it will adapt to whatever eating habits you have. Or I can remove it completely, if you’d prefer that.”

[Y/N] nods. “It, it can stay. And, yes, you can touch my, my shoulders. Thanks for, for the warning.”

“Don’t mention it,” Loki responds calmly as he gently rubs [Y/N]’s shoulders. “I didn’t want to frighten you. I’ll ask if I can touch you if need be, alright?” Magic flows through Loki’s fingertips into [Y/N]’s body. [Y/N] shudders. Loki chuckles softly. “It’s an odd sensation, isn’t it? It’ll go away once I’m done modifying the spell.” A moment later, Loki removes his hands once the modifications are complete. “And there you are.”

“Thank, thank you,” [Y/N] says, still shaking. She wasn’t shaking like that until I asked her to tell me if she didn’t like something. What went wrong there?  

Loki decides to wait before asking, to at least get the food started. “How about you read, and I’ll start cooking? Maybe the reading will help you calm down, stop shaking,” Loki suggests. [Y/N] nods, and opens up her book while Loki goes to wash his hands.

Your POV  

Reading does help, though it does take a few tries to turn each page. You had grabbed Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban , what you had been reading pre-kidnapping. Since you are so close to the end, you had also grabbed Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire . Normally, you would be sitting in an unorthodox position, holding the book up while reading. But, you are shaking so much that you can’t read anything if you’re holding the book. The book is set on the table, your hand pressing down the center to keep it from closing itself, shakily turning the pages every couple minutes. But, it does help to read, to distract yourself in a story, to give you something other than Loki and him to think about. 

But you aren’t entirely distracted. Every once in a while, you look up to observe Loki. If two weeks ago, someone told you that you would be reading Harry Potter while Loki cooked pancakes and eggs for you, you would have said they were crazy. But here you are. Loki’s hair is pulled back in a loose ponytail. He is wearing clothes more casual than the armor he wore when he kidnapped you, with no metal in sight. His sleeves are rolled up to his elbows. His face is calm and serene. His movements are deliberate, and he is focused, too focused to notice you staring. Or, if he does notice, he doesn’t care. But after a moment, you look back down at your book. Then you look up after a bit. It eases your anxiety to know where Loki is, that he isn’t silently creeping up on you. And you go back to your book. And thus the cycle continues.

“Would you like to drink something?” Loki asks as he flips some pancakes. 

“Um, what, what do you have?” you ask timidly. 

“Water, milk, a few fruit juices, and hot chocolate,” he answers. 

“Hot chocolate? Please?”

“Certainly.” Loki goes back to cooking, and you go back to reading. 

A few minutes later, you see Loki walking towards you in your peripheral vision. “Here you are,” he says, setting the plate, fork, and mug down on the table. You thank him and shakily take the fork. 

The smell is intoxicating. You had forgotten how good food smells, having had zero contact with food for so long. You take the scent in, relishing it, before you begin to eat. And, good heavens, does it taste good. You have always liked pancakes, but you don’t remember them tasting this good. “These are delicious,” you tell Loki after you swallow.

“Thank you. I only started cooking in the past few months, and pancakes aren’t on Asgard, so I honestly didn’t know if they tasted right when I cooked them before. I liked them, but wasn’t sure if they tasted like they were supposed to. I’m glad to know that I can in fact cook these well.” Loki sits across from you with his own plate, sliding your book across the table away from his spot. 

“Thank you for these,” you say before you take a sip of hot chocolate. The hot liquid warms you up inside, a sensation you haven’t felt in what feels like ages. 

“You’re most welcome, my darling.” He lifts his own mug. “I will admit I haven’t actually tried this before.” He takes a drink and smiles against his mug. “I have been missing out.”

You and Loki sit in silence, eating. You stop shaking eventually, more relaxed than before. More relaxed than you’ve been since abduction, actually. Which doesn’t really make any sense, being more relaxed now, when everything is happening and you can’t make sense of it. But it doesn’t last long.

“Dearest, may I ask you something?” Loki’s voice is gentle, but still makes you flinch. You nod hesitantly, refusing to look up at Loki. “I said something that scared you. I would hate to repeat that mistake. Could you tell me what it was?”

You chew your bottom lip, trying to formulate the words you need to answer. “Well, um, he would say things about us having to, to be, hon, honest to each other, and, it, it wasn’t ever good for me.” Whenever he said that, you knew soon enough he would hurt you again. “ He would trick me in, into saying something wrong.” You keep looking down, not wanting to make eye contact. You fiddle with the hair tie keeping your braid together nervously.

“I’m sorry,” Loki responds quietly. “I’m sorry that happened to you, and I’m sorry I reminded you of that. I won’t say anything of the like to you from now on. If I ever do or say anything else that takes you back to then, please tell me. I will do what I can to make you more comfortable and to remove reminders of anything unpleasant.”

“Thank you,” you reply, barely audible.

Chapter Text

Your POV

“Is there anything else I can do for you?” Loki’s voice is as gentle as always. You steal a glance at him before looking down at your empty plate. You shake your head. “Please let me know if there’s ever anything I can do for you, dearest. I am more than happy to help you with whatever you may need.” You nod, fiddling with your sleeve, feeling Loki’s gaze on you. “May I take these to clean?” Loki asks you softly, gesturing to your dishes. You nod again. In a moment, the only things left on the table are the Harry Potter books. 

You open Prisoner of Azkaban up to the last several pages. You struggle to focus, Loki still being in the room. He puts your now clean dishes back in the cupboards where they came from. So he has magic that can clean things? Pre-abduction you knew Loki was a sorcerer. Kind of hard to be an Avenger without knowing about the person who caused the formation of the original team of Avengers and kept causing more problems every few years. But he seems to have more range than you imagined. You knew about the illusions, duplication castings, and telepathy. But that might only be scratching the surface. Now you know he can heal, clean, and teleport objects or substances. Not only that, but his telepathy is more than you thought. You had originally thought he could only control people to do his bidding for short periods of time. Now you know that he can communicate telepathically, let others partially control him, and do whatever he did to help you sleep. If anything, it’s terrifying how little you know, even with what you’ve learned recently.

Soon, Loki leaves the room. You take a few deep breaths, gripping tightly onto the book. You look through the glass partially surrounding the breakfast nook. You close the book and stand, holding the books tightly. You quietly walk to the hallway, not wanting to be noticed by Loki. After checking for Loki, you hurry across the hall to the room with the back door. He said I can go out back. You look over your shoulder one last time before sliding the glass open and walking out, closing the door behind you.

For a moment you simply stand there. You close your eyes as the wind blows, savoring the feeling. You had missed the feeling of the outdoors. You open your eyes and look around. The door leads to a stone porch. Connected to the ceiling is a porch swing, and in front of that is a short table. The porch is fenced off from the rest of the backyard. The lawn is well maintained and a few trees are spread across the lawn. Next to the house is a garden with various vegetables. The garden is also well maintained. 

Shivering a little, you walk off the porch and to the grass. You lie down, sprawled across the grass like a snow angel, books beside you. You close your eyes and focus on the wind brushing past, the cool grass underneath you, and the sun’s rays warming you. You stay like that for some time, soaking up everything there is to enjoy. You smile, hearing an occasional bird cheep. 

After a while, you stand up and walk to the fence. It’s a simple wooden fence and should be easy to jump over. That is, if Loki wasn’t living there. I am certain there’s going to be something stopping me from hopping the fence, but just in case… . You jump up, making a motion as if you are slapping the air on top of the fence. You don’t slap air, but you do slap something. Something bends around your hand as you push. There’s maybe half an inch of stretch capacity. While it looks invisible normally, when you had touched it for a split second you could see the barrier light up. It looks like it was taken from Star Wars or some other science fiction movie. It creates a dome surrounding the property. 

You step back away from the fence. You knew that there would be no chance of escape. But knowing an impenetrable force field is surrounding you like a cage isn’t a comforting thought. You turn around and walk back to the spot where you had laid down. You open the book, shakily breathing. You sit cross-legged and read, needing a metaphorical escape. Soon, you finish Prisoner of Azkaban and open up Goblet of Fire . You glance at the porch every once in a while, checking to see if Loki is there. But he never is.

You read for hours (you can estimate the time from the sun). Now, you are lying down on the grass again. You are curled on your side, no longer wanting to hold your arms up for you to read. The air has gotten colder, but it’s bearable. And you’re close to finishing Goblet of Fire now, so you’d rather go inside when you’re done to get Order of the Phoenix and either stay inside or grab something to keep you warm. Or maybe sleep. 

Loki’s POV

Loki had given [Y/N] her space that day. He scares her half to death every time they are in the same room. If she’s going to have any sense of security, he can’t be constantly hovering over her. He wants to comfort her, to care for her. But that simply isn’t realistic. All he can do is offer the invitation and let her accept if she so desires. He had stayed in his bedroom for the most part. Loki had wanted to stay in the house for at the very least [Y/N]’s first week of free reign to make sure the transition runs smoothly. Unfortunately, Loki doesn’t often get what he wants. And [Y/N]’s care isn’t the only responsibility of his. So he had left for two hours, working on something else, and he is only returning now.

Loki teleports into his bedroom a second before a loud clap of thunder. He can hear rain hitting against the window. Loki sighs before opening the door to check the doors and windows are all closed. He forces himself to take heavier steps than usual, announcing himself to [Y/N], but he doesn’t see her. Not until he checks the backdoor and finds her curled up on the lawn. 

Loki runs out into the downpour to [Y/N]’s shivering body. Is she hurt? Hel, she must be freezing and soaked by now. This isn’t going to help her recover from her fever. If she wants to be out here, she absolutely can. I’m not going to control her life, even if I think it would be wiser for her to be indoors. But I have to make certain she is well. His thoughts race and he approaches [Y/N]. When he gets closer, he slows down, not wanting to scare her. 

Loki bends down next to [Y/N] and finds her to be asleep. Her clothes and hair are drenched and she shivers, curled up as small as possible. Her thumb is in between the pages of her book, marking her spot. Sadly, that book and the other one not far from her are soaked. Loki gently takes the book from [Y/N] and uses the book jacket to mark her spot. “Dearest?” Loki croons softly, brushing tendrils that had escaped [Y/N]’s braid out of her face before he lightly shakes her shoulder. “Wake up, dearest.”

[Y/N] shifts a little, bleary eyes opening. She wraps her arms around herself, still shivering. “C-Cold,” she tells Loki tiredly, teeth chattering. 

“I know, shall we get you warmed up?” She nods slowly but doesn’t move. “Do you want me to carry you?” Loki asks slowly. 

[Y/N] hesitates to answer, her eyes drooping. “Ju-Just this once,” she mutters under her breath, forcing herself to keep her eyes open. 

“As you wish.” Loki scoops her into his arms after handing her books to her. [Y/N] loosely wraps her arm around his neck, her other arm holding her books. She rests her head against his shoulder and closes her eyes. “Darling, can you stay awake please? Just until you’re warmed up?” [Y/N] sighs and forces her eyes open as Loki walks towards the backdoor. “Thank you, dearest. I’d like you to stay awake if possible. I don’t want to do anything without your permission.”

[Y/N] nods against Loki’s shoulder. She looks up at him, forcing her eyes wide open. She frowns. “You’re soaking wet.”

“As are you,” Loki responds, surprised by [Y/N]’s concern. “No harm done.”

“Sorry,” she replies quietly, looking down. “I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

“I know you didn’t, but I assure you there’s no need for your apology. I would do it again in a heartbeat.” [Y/N] scrunches her eyebrows, which she normally does when she’s confused. Soon she stops, fighting herself to stay awake. When they are both under the porch, Loki uses his magic to dry himself and [Y/N]. [Y/N] jumps when the tingly feeling of magic courses through her. “My apologies, I should have warned you, darling,” Loki says as he slides the door open and carries [Y/N] inside. Once inside, Loki conjures a blanket, wrapped around [Y/N]. She snuggles against her blanket as he carries her to her bedroom. 

Inside her bedroom, Loki sets [Y/N] down on her feet in front of her closet. “Let’s get you something more comfortable to wear.” They enter the closet, [Y/N] holding her blanket around her. Loki picks up the clothes for her while letting [Y/N] choose what to wear. They leave the closet, Loki holding a T-shirt and a pair of joggers. Thankfully, [Y/N] is awake enough to take her clothes and change herself in her bathroom. While [Y/N] changes in her bathroom, Loki uses his magic to dry her books without damaging the paper or ink. He sets them down on the desk for her. 

[Y/N] comes out of her bathroom, barely able to keep her eyes open, wrapped in her blanket. Loki pulls back her covers for her to get in bed. She does so, still shivering, covering her body, including her head, with her blankets to try to warm up. Loki snakes his hand underneath the covers to feel [Y/N]’s forehead and back of her neck. “You’re freezing,” he mutters worriedly.

“I can tell,” [Y/N] says, her voice muffled by the blankets. “Do you have some magic or something that can help?”

Loki hesitates before using his spell on his hand touching [Y/N]’s’ forehead. “I can do this.” His hand heats up like an electric blanket. [Y/N] grabs his wrist and holds his hand against her. “Feels good,” she says. “Can you do more?”

Loki hesitates again. “Can you look at me, dearest?” After a moment, [Y/N] pulls down her blankets to see him. “I can do this with my entire body. You won’t be able to stop yourself from sleeping for much longer, so if I were to do that I would either have to hold you or we’d have to share a bed or something . I will only do that if I have your permission. But I would like to state that none of this is meant to be sexual in any way. Even if we share a bed, it’s not sexual. I am simply trying to keep you warm. I have no other intentions. Understood?”

[Y/N] nods, half asleep. “I don’t want anything sexual either, but would you please do more?”

“Of course. And if you ever want me to stop, let me know.” Loki takes his hand off of [Y/N] forehead, and she leans toward where the touch was coming from. Loki uses magic to change himself into something more comfortable. It’s also thinner, making it easier for Loki to warm [Y/N] up. 

She moves the blankets for Loki to lie next to her in bed. Loki starts using the spell and [Y/N] cuddles up against him. Loki wraps his arms around [Y/N], holding her close. “Is this alright?” he asks her softly. She nods, eyes closed. “Don’t hesitate to say if you change your mind.” Loki gets no response, [Y/N] already being asleep.

Chapter Text

Your POV

“Darling, come here,” Loki says while leaning against the doorframe. Not wanting to anger him, you quickly approach him, unable to look up at his face. When you’re close enough, Loki puts a finger under your chin and tilts your head up. He looks at you, gentle as always. “I will always protect you and keep you safe. Understood?” You nod, not knowing how else to respond. “Everything I do is for your own good, do you understand?”

You look down nervously. Loki’s voice is soft as silk, same as always, but something feels off about him. It feels like Loki is leading up to something. Something you won’t like. Regardless, you answer how Loki wants you to. “Yes,” you barely manage to say, your voice quiet and shaky.

Loki’s thumb rubs soothingly against your jaw. “You need not be frightened, dearest. I’m not going to let anything touch you. To do that, I need to put in place precautionary measures.” Something isn’t right. Maybe you’re only paranoid, but either way your instincts are telling you to run. But you can’t, not if you want to please Loki. You can’t control your lip trembling, your shaking hands, or the few tears that slip down your face. “Sh, darling, please don’t cry. There’s not one thing I do that isn’t for your safety,” Loki says as he thumbs away your tears. He puts his other hand on your back and pulls you into an embrace. He keeps his hand firmly on your head, pushing it into the crook of his neck. Instinctually, you had put your hands up when Loki pulled you to him. They now rest against Loki’s chest, shaking. “Hush, everything will be okay. It will be scary at first, but you’ll get used to it.”

Before you can ask Loki what he’s going to do, your head starts to hurt. The origin of the pain is Loki’s hand on your head. Loki’s hold on you is tight and despite your struggling to be free of this pain, his grip doesn’t relent. “What, what are you doing to me?” you ask, terrified of the answer.

“Sh, it will be over soon my dearest. Then you’ll be safe,” Loki croons. A moment later, the pain subsides. You find yourself craning your head up to look at Loki. Your body moves on its own. You try to force yourself away from Loki, but your body doesn’t do what your mind wants it to. Loki smiles softly. Perfect. This will help me keep you safe, darling , Loki says. You hear his voice in your mind, and you don’t see Loki’s lips moving. 

You wake up with a gasp. The first thing you see is Loki’s chest less than an inch away from your face, making you gasp again. Your head is resting on his upper arm. His arms are wrapped around your torso, holding you close to him. If you tilt your head as much as you can, you can see that Loki is asleep. His body still radiates heat. Shakily, you try to push yourself away from Loki, but you can’t break out of his hold. And you don’t dare wake him up. 

Between your nightmare and sharing the bed with Loki, you can’t hold back your tears. You cry silently and hope to not wake Loki with your tears and shaking. In general you don’t want Loki to see you emotionally vulnerable anymore, but you are even more terrified of what will happen if you wake him up. 

How didn’t I think of it before? If Loki is so obsessed with protecting me, he could do the same thing he did with Wanda to me. If he takes away my autonomy, he can control where I go and what I do. He can watch me constantly. He can communicate with me whenever. Even if he freed me, I would never be safe from him. He could’ve done it already without telling me. If he didn’t, I have no way to protect myself if he decides to do it. 

Your mind continues to race with these thoughts. It doesn’t help that Loki is holding you securely. All he’d have to do is do the spell. In your nightmare he had to touch your head, but that doesn’t mean that’s how it works in real life. Maybe he could do it without moving a muscle now that he’s touching you. You continue crying while thinking about this. You cry against Loki’s chest; there isn’t much of a choice for you to do otherwise. Sobs wrack your body. You try to control yourself, not wanting to wake Loki with your shaking. You can’t handle that right now.

Loki’s POV

[Y/N]? Loki slowly wakes up, feeling [Y/N] shaking in his arms. Loki has gone in and out of sleep since lying down with [Y/N]. Not once has she woken up in the twelve hours they’ve been in her bed together. Everytime Loki tried to move off her bed, [Y/N] only cuddled closer to him and held onto his arm tighter, convincing Loki to stay. But now it seems [Y/N] has awoken.

Loki looks down to see [Y/N]’s face buried into his chest while she trembles. Other than shaky breaths and soft sniffles, she doesn’t make a sound. Loki tightens his hold on her, holding her closer to him. “What’s wrong, dearest?” [Y/N] stiffens before looking up at his face. Her face is tear stained and her lip trembles. Loki can see the fear in her eyes. Before he can say anything else, she quickly buries her face into his chest again. Loki feels her try to breathe regularly and to not cry. She only succeeds in crying harder. 

“Do you want to tell me what’s wrong?” Loki asks softly. [Y/N] shakes her head against his chest. “That’s alright, darling, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” [Y/N] attempts again to stop crying and once again fails. Loki massages her back gently, hoping to sooth her. “It’s alright, dearest. Sometimes all we can do is cry our feelings out. There’s no shame in that.” 

Loki falls silent, letting [Y/N] cry in peace. He keeps holding her and massaging her back, hoping the gentle touch will help her. [Y/N] cries and cries and cries. Loki wonders what could be the reason for her tears. She was so frightened when she realized I woke up. Am I the reason for her tears? Does she not want to be held? But she does want to cry against me it seems, so it may not be that. But she may be doing that to please me, I suppose. Did she have a nightmare? About him ? Poor thing doesn’t need anything like that happening to her now. Is she hurt? Sick?

Loki tries to ask [Y/N] things without prying. “Are you hurt?” “Do you want me to leave?” “How can I help?” Everytime, [Y/N] shakes her head as if she’s pleading with him to not speak. So once again, Loki falls silent. He holds and massages her, willing to do so as long as needed. 

After several minutes, [Y/N]’s sobbing slows. Soon, she stops crying. Loki continues holding her, not wanting to frighten her with sudden movements. [Y/N] stays still, face buried in Loki’s chest and wrapped in his arms. Loki feels her fiddle with his sleeve, her hand having rested on his shoulder since last night. After several minutes, Loki decides to try to speak to her again.

“Feeling any better?” he asks. 

“Little bit,” [Y/N] answers, her voice muffled by Loki’s chest. 

“Good, good.” Loki waits a few seconds before asking his next question. “Do you want to talk about it?” [Y/N] fervently shakes her head against his chest. “We don’t have to if you don’t want to. I’m always here for you if you ever want to talk about anything. But don’t if it makes you uncomfortable.” [Y/N] nods and Loki continues. “Do you remember last night when I woke you up?” [Y/N] again nods. “Good, good. I wouldn’t ever sleep with you without your consent, dearest. I just hoped you remembered consenting last night.” She nods again. “Do you want me to leave? Or to get out of your bed? Or do you want me to stay?” [Y/N] doesn’t respond. Loki can feel her fidget more. “Please, speak your mind dearest. If you don’t want me here, please tell me. If I don’t have your consent, I shouldn’t be here holding you. I will honor your wishes.”

“Can, can I be alone? P-please?” [Y/N] stutters.

“Of course, darling, of course,” Loki says as he unwraps his arms. She backs away from him, letting him get off her bed. Loki swiftly stands up. He gives [Y/N] one last look before walking out and closing the door behind him. 

Your POV

You don’t dare tell Loki why you were crying. If you tell him details, you may be giving him an idea on how to ‘protect’ you. If you only tell him it was a nightmare, he might try to pry. Or he could assume the nightmare was about him , and you don’t want to have Loki trying to comfort you over something you don’t want to think about.

Last night, Loki told you he would leave if you ever felt uncomfortable with him holding you on the bed. You didn’t think he’d actually stay true to his word. That’s why you never said anything when he woke up. But here you are, no Loki in the room or on the bed.

You get off the bed wrapped in the blanket Loki summoned last night and walk to the window. The window sill is wide enough for you to sit on, and there’s a cushion that looks comfortable enough. You sit down on it, leaning against the wall on the side and resting your feet on the other side of the cushion, your chin resting against your knees. You use your palm to wipe any tears away as you look outside. You pull the necklace you wear out from underneath your shirt. Thank heavens Loki doesn’t know about it. It’s only a necklace, but it has immense meaning to you. Better to keep it hidden in a hostile environment than to risk anything happening to it. 

You rub your thumb against the charm. The black curved charm has a small indent from you repeatedly doing this action when you’re stressed. The indent isn’t very noticeable, the material is durable enough to last for a long time. It’s only there because of the near constant rubbing from when you were younger. But as time has gone on, you haven’t done it as much. Though you’ll probably start up the habit again now. 

You try to think logically about what’s happened. Well, he probably isn’t going to do the spell on me if he plans to teach me self defense. If he could control me, he could fight for me if needed, so there wouldn’t be any point in teaching me. And he was able to put the spell on Wanda quickly. He wouldn’t have kidnapped me, he would have just put it on me and left me alone. Well, maybe not. If he’s so obsessed with me he probably would have still taken me. But he wouldn’t have promised to free me eventually, would he? So maybe he won’t...but it’s always a possibility. And if anything happens that worries him, he may decide it’s a worthwhile option. 

You stare at the door before looking back out the window. You know you have to leave your room eventually. Loki will have you come out to teach you self defense at some point, and you won’t be able to keep your sanity while confined to one room for long. Being tied up before was really starting to get to you, and you don’t want something like that again. But for now, the best thing for you to do is to sit on the window sill with your necklace and hope for the best.

Chapter Text

Your POV

You sigh as you close Goblet of Fire . You were surprised earlier to see the books on the desk, no evidence of them ever being out in the rain. You can add that to the list of things Loki can do with his magic. And now you’re in the same position you were in yesterday. Wanting a book but being terrified to leave the room to get one. You grab the books and shakily stand up and walk to the door, hesitating before opening it. The hallway is empty. You cautiously walk down the hall to the room with the shelves. Please don’t be in there , you think, not wanting to have to go through yesterday’s experiences again. 

Thank heavens . You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding when you don’t see Loki anywhere in the room. You close the door behind you and walk to the shelf with the Harry Potter books. You return Prisoner of Azkaban and Goblet of Fire and take Order of the Phoenix off the shelf. After a moment of thought, you grab Half-Blood Prince too, since you’re going through the books so fast. With that same thought, you look around at the other titles. While you love Harry Potter to death, there are only so many times you can read it back to back. When you finish Deathly Hallows , you’re going to need something else to read. You look around for a moment, seeing some books you’ve read before that were decent and some books you’ve heard good things about. 

Your heart almost stops when you hear footsteps just outside the door. The door opens and you tense, knowing exactly who is now in the room. You can almost feel Loki watching you. You hear his footsteps approach you. You’re as tense as a guitar string about to snap when Loki stands next to you. You hold onto the books you grabbed tightly and look down. You adjust your arms slightly, wishing you had thought to wear a hoodie or something. 

“You’re a fast reader, practically reading two books in one day,” Loki comments casually. You steal a glance at him and find that he’s scanning the shelves. “I’ll need more books to keep you occupied.”

“It, it was just one,” you stutter, not expecting Loki to say something so casual. “I, was, uh, I was mostly finished with one before you, uh, y’know .”

Loki nods. “I see. My apologies for preventing you from finishing, darling. Still, it wasn’t a thin book you finished in a day.”

“Thanks?” you respond, not knowing what to say.

“You’re most welcome, dearest. Now, tell me, what books would you recommend to me?”

Loki’s question takes you by surprise. He wants my opinion on...books? “Uh, what, what type of books do you, uh, like?”

“I am in the mood for fantasy at the moment, though I will read from any genre,” Loki answers. 

“Okay, uh….” You scan the shelves in front of you, looking for titles you know well enough to recommend. “ Harry Potter is, is my favorite series. The Hobbit is really good. Uh, Narnia is good. Percy Jackson is pretty good. Diamond Throne is, is fun. Steelheart is good. I, I haven’t read Mistborn , but he also wrote Steelheart , and I, I’ve heard good things about Mistborn . Princess Bride is really good.” You start to worry if you’re giving too long of a list. “Um, I can tell you more, if you want.” 

You glance at Loki, looking for his reaction. He gives you a soft smile. “Maybe later. Thank you for your recommendations. You said Harry Potter is your favorite?” He continues after you nod. “May I ask why?”

“It, it isn’t my favorite because of how well it’s written. The writing is good, but it, it isn’t the best. It’s my favorite because, because of, uh, I have an emotional attachment,” you explain, trying to be vague. Said ‘emotional attachment’ is not something you want to talk to Loki about.

Loki nods. “I understand the feeling, and I trust your judgement.” He scans the shelves once again and quickly finds the Harry Potter section. He grabs Sorcerer’s Stone and reads the preface. “Interesting. Thank you for the recommendation, darling.”

“You’re, you’re welcome,” you respond, still shocked by the conversation. 

“Before you leave, may I ask another question?” You nod hesitantly, wary. “What do you enjoy outside of reading?” Once again, Loki throws you off with his question. After a moment of your hesitation, he continues. “Dearest, I don’t expect you to only read during your stay. I will provide other things for your enjoyment.” He pauses, tensing slightly himself. “May I give you some advice?” You nod, confused as to what advice Loki could possibly give you. “I was imprisoned on Asgard after the failed invasion. Part of my sentence was to not interact with other prisoners. Fortunately, my mother visited me often, and she gave me books to pass the time. It was a kind gesture, and certainly better than the alternative, but having nothing to do but read other than her weekly visits was horrid. I couldn’t make myself pick up a book for four months after Malekith was defeated. I don’t want you to live through that torture too.”

“I, I’m sorry,” you say quietly. 

“You don’t have to be, darling. My advice is to not limit yourself. Reading, something you enjoy, can become torture. Your bedroom, a place of refuge, can become your prison. I am not saying you shouldn’t read or stay in your bedroom, only that you should—what’s the Midgardian phrase? Mix things up?”

You nod. “Thank you for the advice,” you respond quietly. 

“You need not thank me, dearest. Don’t hesitate to ask for anything.” Loki starts to walk away, and you relax slightly. “I’ll be leaving later today. I’ll be back before dark,” he adds before he leaves the room. 

Where is he going, and why? You don’t let yourself brainstorm ideas. Heaven knows what sort of things he could be doing. You don’t need to let your mind run wild, wondering what he’s doing, if it has something to do with why he kidnapped you, and if he is going to hurt someone. Not now, at least. You hesitantly walk towards the door, peeking down the hallway. You watch as Loki walks into his bedroom and closes the door. You speed walk to the bedroom Loki’s given you despite wanting to run as hard as you can. But you’ll make more sounds if you run and maybe attract Loki’s attention. 

Once you’re inside the bedroom, you lock the door. Your muscles relax as you lie down on the bed with the books. Before you open Order of the Phoenix , you ponder on what just happened. What on Earth is Loki up to? Why is he so insistent on making me comfortable? Is he trying to lower my guard so that he can do something? Or is he being genuine? Loki has spent a good deal of time imprisoned before, I suppose he might not want to make me go through the same things he did. But everyone always describes him as vengeful, and if that’s true he wouldn’t mind treating me like a typical prisoner, or worse, unless he has some reason not to, right? Actually, Loki has mentioned his imprisonment a few times, but never in a hateful way. More like he wasn’t comfortable telling me, but chose to anyway. Is he trying to make me sympathize with him? If that’s the goal, I do feel sympathy for him to an extent. I darn well know now that being captured is not fun, and I have had it so much better than Loki so far. Of course I sympathize with him for being in solitary confinement and being tortured!  And it isn’t hard for me to sympathize with him for how horrible Odin has been to him from both his and Thor’s accounts. But that’s as far as it goes. I acknowledge that he’s been through a lot of terrible things, and I wish they didn’t happen to him, but that doesn’t excuse his actions. But maybe Loki is trying to slowly get me to sympathize with him more and more until I have Stockholm Syndrome or something?

You bury your head in your hands, sighing. Gosh, why does everything always have to be so confusing with him?! Why can’t he just be straightforward?! Why does he insist on being kind while keeping me trapped? He gave me advice when he’s the reason I’m here! And it doesn't make it any easier to understand because Loki actually gave me pretty solid advice. Why is this happening to me? What did I do to deserve this?

After a few minutes of thinking, you decide that you need to stop stressing yourself out. You start reading Order of the Phoenix , letting your mind be carried away to a fictional world. 

Sullivan’s POV

Sullivan takes heavy breaths, doubled over, trying to catch his breath in the few precious seconds he has to spare. He pulls his mask up slightly, just enough that his mouth isn’t covered. A moment later, Sullivan pulls his mask back down and points his pistol in front of him again. He walks as quietly as he can down the row of shelves. This location was supposed to be secure. It was supposed to look like some warehouse for an online shipping company. Sullivan can’t think of how someone could have found them. 

All he knows is that the person who found them might be one of them . An enhanced. Inhuman, probably, considering how many of them there are, but this person could be any one of them. 

The only thing Sullivan can do is escape and warn the others. He is so close to the exit now. But once he leaves the row he’s in, Sullivan will be out in the open. An easy target for whoever this person is. There already are a handful of bodies on the floor between Sullivan and the door, a testament to the danger he is in now. 

But no one is there. For now. And if Sullivan doesn’t go now, the enhanced could find him and kill him or come back to this spot. After a quick prayer, Sullivan runs out, gun raised. Out of nowhere, the enhanced grabs Sullivan’s wrist from behind. Where did he come from? The enhanced raises Sullivan’s wrist and puts pressure on his wrist. It feels weird, and Sullivan starts to lose feeling in his wrist and hand. He drops his pistol, his hand gone limp. Before Sullivan can do anything else, the enhanced has pushed him up against a wall. His front is against the cold wall while the enhanced has twisted Sullivan’s arm behind his back and puts his weight against Sullivan, pinning him to the wall. Sullivan thrashes around in the enhanced’s grip, but it’s like the enhanced barely feels it. 

“What does S.H.I.E.L.D. want?” Sullivan asks gruffly, assuming this enhanced is working for them. Sullivan can only barely spit out the word ‘S.H.I.E.L.D.’ without yelling about how idiotic they are, protecting enhanced above actual humans.

“I’m not with S.H.I.E.L.D., but I do want information, and you are going to give it to me.”

Your POV

You are sitting on one of the couches in the front room, making a list on your phone’s note app. After a while of reading you considered Loki’s advice. It doesn’t seem like a bad idea, to expand past reading for hours on end every day. You love reading, but you suppose Loki is right in saying that it can become torture if done too much. It feels weird, trying to come up with things you like or things you’d be willing to learn how to do. They all have to be things you would do alone since the only person you can see is Loki. You are used to doing things with at least a handful of the Avengers since all of them either live in the Compound all the time or are there often enough. You never thought that would be a luxury. 

You glance at the window, seeing the darkened sky. Where is Loki? He said he’d be back by now. When you first stopped reading, you realized just how dependent on Loki you are. You can’t leave the house. The only person you can interact with is him. He provides all of your basic needs. What if something happens to him? If Loki dies, what happens to you? Will the homeostasis spell even work if he’s dead? Will anyone be able to find you before it’s too late? You look out the window again, the street lit up by lamps. Where are you?

“You look troubled.” You whip around to face Loki, who is standing in the doorway to the hallway. How did he get there? “My apologies, dearest, I didn’t mean to startle you.” Loki walks to the couch opposite you and sits down. “What troubles you?”

You, of all people, are really going to ask me that? you think, annoyed. “I, I just was wondering where you were. I thought you weren’t back yet,” you answer quietly after a moment, gripping the ends of the sleeves of the jacket you are wearing. 

“You were waiting for me?” Loki almost sounds surprised.

“Well, not really, I just wanted to make sure you were here,” you stutter, not wanting to tell Loki how you actually feel. 

Loki nods. “Is there anything you need?”

You shake your head. “Not now.”

“Very well. If you’ll excuse me, I just started reading a book, a very fascinating one at that. I would like to know what happens next.” Loki gives you a smile before standing up and walking out of the room. He...he actually is reading Harry Potter ?

Chapter Text

Your POV

You are curled up on a couch in the living room, head leaning against the arm rest. You are on your phone, trying to find a loophole in whatever Loki did to it. So far, you have found nothing. You can’t make calls, text, post on social media, email, or send messages on any app or website. But you have received plenty of messages. Mostly spam calls and junk mail though. FRIDAY automatically took you off the Avengers email lists and deleted all classified information on your phone as a security measure. You also should be able to access FRIDAY on your phone, but that has been disabled it seems. 

You close your eyes, tired. A moment later, you slowly open them to look at your phone for the time. Eleven o’clock. How is it 11:00 already? The day has seemed like a blur to you. And now you need to sleep. You stand up and cautiously walk to the bedroom, hoping to avoid Loki. Thankfully, he is nowhere to be seen and you can safely lock yourself behind the bedroom door. 

You change into sweatpants and a soft long sleeve shirt, plug your phone into the charger, and turn off the lights before climbing into the bed. You pull the blankets over you and let yourself fall asleep. 

Your POV

You bolt up with a shout. Your skin is sticky and your hair is damp with your sweat. Your heart is racing, almost hurting your chest. Your breathing is ragged, and you can’t calm down. Your mind is overly alert, every little movement your eyes catching terrifying you. 

“[Y/N]?” You almost jump out of your skin when you hear Loki on the other side of the door. You hear the door knob rattle as Loki tries to turn it. No, please, go away!  

Suddenly, Loki appears out of nowhere in front of the door. You back away from him into the corner of the bed, pulling the blankets up with you. You can hear your heart pounding like a thousand drumlines are in your chest. Your throat is dry and your tongue is heavy. You stare at Loki, hugging your knees in the corner of the room, terrified to move. 

“This is only a projection,” Loki says carefully as he slides his hand through the wall next to him. His hand shimmers away before reforming when Loki pulls his hand back. “My real body is in the hall. I can’t do anything to you.” You continue to watch Loki with caution. “I heard you scream and came to check on you. Nightmare?”

You nod. Please...just leave me alone.

“A bad one, by the looks of it. I would ask if you wanted to talk about it, but I think I have my answer already.” You flinch when Loki steps away from the door. Instead of walking towards you though, he walks towards the window. He sits on the window sill and glances outside before looking back at you. “If it’s of any comfort, I have nightmares most nights. I wake up and I can’t breathe, my heart is beating too fast, and every little thing seems to be a threat. Some nights I wake up to a half formed spell I made in my sleep. I can’t speak. I feel this overwhelming sense of dread.” Loki takes a shaky breath before continuing. “I would imagine you are feeling something similar.” Loki doesn’t continue for a moment as he looks out the window. “May I tell you what helps me?” You nod, arms hurting from how tight you are holding your legs. “A cold glass of water, a breath of fresh air, and a shower. What do you think of that?”

You nod, not knowing how to respond when your tongue feels like lead. Please, just leave me alone. I’ll take care of myself.  

“How about I fetch you some water and put it on the table by the back door? I will go into my bedroom so that you don’t have to interact with me. You can have the water and take as much time as you need outside. When you are ready, you can shower or go to bed. If you want, knock on my door and I would be more than happy to use my spell to prevent any more nightmares tonight. Would you like to do this?”

You nod. Anything to get you away from me .

Loki smiles at you gently. “I’m putting out the water as I speak.” A moment later, Loki stands and you press your back into the corner. “I’m in my bedroom now. Dress warmly, it’s rather cold out tonight.” The projection of Loki dissipates, leaving you alone. 

You anxiously get up, putting on a coat from the closet and the Converse you wore the other day. You shakily open the door and walk into the hallway. As promised, Loki isn’t in sight. You walk into the back room and grab the tall glass of water on the coffee table. You slowly sip the water and feel yourself start to calm down. You set the glass down on the table when you are finished before you slide the door open. You slip through and close the door behind you. 

You can see your breath as you walk around outside. You have your hood up, coat zipped, and hands in pockets. The cold air bites against your skin and through your pants and shoes. You walk around the backyard, taking deep breaths. This is helping you calm down. Soon, you aren’t shaking from fear, only the cold. You decide to go back inside until you hear a quiet noise behind you.

Loki’s POV

Poor thing , Loki thinks as he walks into his bedroom. She was utterly terrified . He sits down on his bed, waiting. Hopefully [Y/N] comes inside soon. It is rather cold tonight, and [Y/N] has fallen asleep outside before. Loki lies down, one arm propping his head up while the other holds up Sorcerer’s Stone . Loki has enjoyed the book so far and can see why [Y/N] loves it so much. Loki reads for the next half hour before deciding to check on [Y/N] again, make sure she hasn’t frozen herself. 

After a second of concentration, Loki creates a projection of himself in the hallway. He walks into the back room and looks out the window. [Y/N] is sitting on the porch swing, bundled up in a coat. She hasn’t seen Loki yet. Loki walks through the glass door. Just as he does so, [Y/N] looks at him, flinching as he approaches. Loki smiles at her gently. “Only another projection. It’s been half an hour, I only came to check on you since it’s so cold.” 

“I, I’m okay,” [Y/N] stutters. “I, just, I was going inside but-”

“You don’t have to explain if you don’t want to,” Loki tells her, stopping her mid sentence. 

“No, I, I, I need help,” [Y/N] insists. 

Loki’s face softens as he hears her shaky voice ask for help. “What do you need?”

[Y/N] shakily unzips her coat part of the way, enough for Loki to see black fur. He hears a soft meow from [Y/N]’s coat. “She, she was under the swing. I, I was going inside when I heard her. She, she’s so cold. Please, I, I understand if you don’t want her in the house, but please, it’s too cold for her. Please, help me find somewhere safe for her.”

Poor thing . Loki watches as the cat shivers. “Let’s get her inside and warmed up,” Loki says gently. “We can figure everything else out later.” 

“Thank you,” [Y/N] says quietly as she stands up, one arm cradling the cat in her coat as she walks inside. 

“I’m going to come out with my physical body to help with our friend here,” Loki warns. [Y/N] nods and Loki makes his projection disappear. Loki quickly stands up and walks out of his bedroom to [Y/N]. The cat pokes her head out of [Y/N]’s coat and nuzzles into her neck. “Isn’t she precious?” he croons as he walks closer to [Y/N], hoping to worry her less if he focuses on the cat. “May I see her?”

[Y/N] hesitantly nods and unzips her coat. The cat shivers against her body. Loki raises his hand palm facing up to the cat’s face, letting her sniff his hand. After a moment, the cat rests her head on his hand. He scratches behind her ear and she nuzzles into his hand. “So friendly,” Loki says with a smile as [Y/N] hands the cat to him. “And so little.” He sits down on one of the couches with the cat on his lap and pets her as he examines her. She is small, but not a kitten. A couple years old maybe? Her black fur is coated in dirt and leaves, some of her fur matted. She closes her green eyes and snuggles against Loki’s arm, trying to stay warm. She looks relatively healthy though. 

“I don’t think she’s a stray,” [Y/N] says quietly, fidgeting with her sleeves as she stands. “She, uh, she seems so clean and she’s so friendly. She must’ve been lost or abandoned.” 

“It’s a good thing you found her,” Loki tells her. “If you’re right, I don’t know how well she would have survived on her own.” Loki continues petting the cat as [Y/N] stands nearby, seemingly unsure of what to do. “Do you want to hold her?” [Y/N] nods and hesitantly sits down on the couch next to him. Loki gently lifts the cat and sets her down on [Y/N]’s lap. The cat curls up on her lap and cuddles against her. [Y/N] scratches her behind her ears, earning the cat’s purring. “She needs a name. Since you found her, you should be the one to name her.”

[Y/N] doesn’t say anything for a moment as she looks at the cat, head tilted. “What about Shadow? Do you like that?” she asks the cat. The cat purrs as [Y/N] scratches her chin. “I think it suits you. When I first saw you I thought you were just a shadow until you started meowing at me.”

Loki smiles as he watches [Y/N] with Shadow. I haven’t ever seen her smile so much before . He sadly looks at Shadow’s matted fur and feels [Y/N] shivering. “We should get her cleaned up. I can clean her while you shower. Shadow isn’t the only one that needs to warm up.” [Y/N] nods and hesitantly hands Shadow to Loki. “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of her. I wouldn’t dare hurt our precious Shadow.”

Your POV

You look over your shoulder once as you walk to the bedroom. Loki carries Shadow to the kitchen. Shadow rests her head on his shoulder, eyes closed. You look forward and walk into the bedroom and lock the door. You grab some new clothes, your current clothes moist with sweat. You walk into the bathroom and lock that door.

The warm water feels pleasant as it runs down your body. Your muscles relax as you stand under the shower head. You wash your body and stay in the shower afterwards, the water calming you. You turn the water off before it gets cold though and dry off. You put on some leggings, a long sleeved shirt that hangs well past your hip, and the Converse. It is six o’clock now, and you don’t know if you want to go to bed now, so you decided to wear something you could sleep in but is presentable enough. You have tried to be dressed up around Loki in order to keep a barrier of formality between you and him. He isn’t your friend, and it wouldn’t feel natural for you to be overly casual around him. But that rule doesn’t work very well when you invite him to sleep next to you.

You leave the bedroom to look for Shadow, not certain if you can trust Loki with her. They seem to get along with each other, but that doesn’t mean he can be trusted. You speed walk to the kitchen. Shadow is on the counter with Loki standing next to her, drying her off with a towel. “Thank you for letting me wash you. I know you didn’t like the water, but you were so good and let me clean you. And you feel so much better now that you are clean, yes?”

You walk towards the two of them and Loki notices you. “I am going to find some food for Shadow. Can you keep an eye on her?” 

You nod before picking Shadow up off the counter. Loki thanks you before he walks out the door. You carry Shadow to one of the couches on the other side of the room. “Such a pretty kitty,” you tell Shadow as you pet her. She purrs as you pet her. You lean against the arm rest, your legs up on the couch. Shadow curls up next to your chest. You pet her slowly as she purrs, slowly closing your eyes.

Loki’s POV

Loki teleports into the garage attached to the side of the house. After [Y/N] waited for him in the front room before, he can’t just teleport into his bedroom anymore. The Avengers don’t know he can teleport, no one does. And Loki would prefer to keep it that way. But the garage can only be entered through the garage door, so he walks out the front door, into the garage, and then teleports. And he teleports back into the garage to get home. 

Loki leaves the garage and walks through the front yard to the front door. When he goes inside, the first thing he sees is [Y/N] asleep on the couch, a sleeping Shadow curled up and snuggling with her. Loki smiles, conjuring a blanket and setting it on the two of them. “Sweet dreams, dearest.”

Chapter Text

Your POV

You start to stir, feeling something somehow both sharp and fluffy gently dragging against your face. “No, Shadow. [Y/N] had a rough night. Let her rest.” Whatever it is stops touching your face shortly before you hear a disappointed mew and footsteps going away from you. You roll over, groaning. You pull the blanket up around your neck as you curl up. 

You don’t expect to be pressed against something somewhat soft, but here you are. You slowly flutter your eyes open, confused. You look at the couch back in front of you and frown. It’s Loki’s couch. For a moment there I forgot… . You curl up tighter, remembering where you are. 

After a moment building up the courage, you sit up and wrap the blanket around you. Loki and Shadow aren’t anywhere in sight. Last you remember, you and Shadow were on the couch together, and Loki was gone. He had asked you to watch over Shadow while he went to grab some food for her. Crap! I was supposed to keep an eye on Shadow! Crap! You hug your knees as two trains of thought race through your head. Is Shadow okay? Poor thing’s probably terrified, in a new environment with unfamiliar people. Oh, gosh, I didn’t do what Loki told me to do! Oh gosh, this can’t be good for me, oh gosh! Is Shadow okay? Did Loki take care of her while I was asleep? Is she as terrified as I am? Gosh, gosh, what is Loki going to do to me? He’s going to punish me, but how? Is Shadow safe? What’s Loki done with her? Crap, crap, crap! You hide your face against your knees, holding tears back. 

You tense when you hear footsteps just outside the room. The footsteps stop, and you can barely make out Loki speaking quietly. “[Y/N]’s awake now, Shadow. You can see her now.” Almost immediately, you hear several short, light footsteps and feel something jump on the couch. You carefully peel an eye open to see Shadow rubbing against your side. Relieved that she’s okay, you start to pet her. Shadow sits down next to you, leaning against your thigh as you pet her. You refuse to look up when you hear Loki’s footsteps get nearer. Soon, he is sitting next to you on the couch, but he doesn’t touch you in the slightest.

“Shadow has been waiting for you to wake up,” Loki starts. Shadow was waiting for me? Shadow wanted me ? I let her down, I let her down . “I thought it best if you rested, so I kept her away from you to stop her from waking you up.”

“You, you wanted me to, to sleep?” you ask. He, he didn’t want to wake me up? Why?

“You had a hard night, dearest. You slept because you needed it.” You feel his gaze on you. You refuse to make eye contact with him, trying to focus on Shadow. But you can’t stop your lip from trembling in time before Loki notices. “What troubles you?” Loki’s voice is gentle, but you know it’s a deception. He must be livid with you for leaving Shadow unattended. Because of you, Loki had to spend precious time watching over a cat of all things. 

“I, I’m sorry,” you start, trying to stop yourself from sobbing. “Please, I’m sorry, it won’t happen again, please, I’m sorry-”

“What are you apologizing for?” Loki asks, interrupting you. His voice sounds genuinely worried, but you know it’s all an act to put you at ease. Loki knows exactly what you’re apologizing for, he just wants to hear you say it.

“I, I didn’t do as you said,” you confess. “I didn’t keep an eye on Shadow like you told me to. I’m sorry, please, I swear it won’t happen again. Please-” 

“And you think I’m going to punish you?” Loki asks, though you know that is also an act. You slowly lift your head up and nod, catching a glance at Loki’s facial expressions. His eyebrows are raised slightly as he sadly smiles. “Oh, my dearest, there’s nothing to punish you for,” Loki croons. What? What do you mean nothing? Loki leans over you and scratches behind Shadow’s ear. “I’m never going to punish you for anything, darling, ever . Besides, you did exactly what I asked you to do.” 

“Huh?”

“Shadow slept with you for an hour and a half. She was all snuggled up with you, purring so loud I’m surprised you were able to sleep. It wasn’t until ten minutes ago that she woke up and tried to wake you up too.” Loki stops scratching Shadow and leans back. “She’s quite fond of you. But rest assured, you aren’t in danger of punishment, my dearest. I will never hurt you. Never .” 

You fiddle with your sleeve with your hand not petting Shadow, feeling Loki still watching you. “O-okay,” you mutter, not knowing how else to respond. Shadow stands up and climbs between your legs and your chest, and you put your feet back on the floor to give her more room.

“I told you she’s fond of you,” Loki says with a soft laugh. You can’t help but smile as you stroke one hand down Shadow’s head to her bottom and use your other hand to scratch under her chin. Shadow closes her eyes and purrs loudly, making you smile wider. “As for what will happen to Shadow,” Loki starts, tilting his head as he watches Shadow purr, “if she’s lost and someone is looking for her, it is only natural that we return her as soon as possible. But if we can’t find an owner, I see no reason to not keep her, if that is alright with you.”

Your eyes widen as you look at Loki. “She can stay?” you ask, disbelieving.

Loki nods. “So long as she doesn’t have an owner looking for her. I don’t plan on holding anyone but you captive at the moment, not even a cat.” You nod, silently hoping Shadow doesn’t have an owner looking for her (despite knowing how awful that sounds). If Shadow stays, I won’t be alone with Loki anymore. Sure, she’s not sentient, so it’s not perfect, but it’s better than before . “I’m not going to use any magic on Shadow. I have found that magic can greatly confuse animals and do more harm than good. So between the two of us we need to make sure Shadow is fed. I fed her while you were asleep, and one of us can feed her again tonight. And I have set out a bowl of water for her that we need to keep filled.” You nod. I will do anything to keep Shadow here . “I must warn you, I expect Shadow to be...clingy for a few weeks. She is in a scary new environment, but she seems to trust us. And since I may have to leave at any point, you could be subject to her clinginess quite often.” Once again you nod. And I’ll probably be clingy towards her, so this is a win-win situation . 

Shadow turns her head away from your hand scratching her chin, so you put  your hand down. She trusts you, and you don’t want to break that trust by disrespecting her boundaries. Shadow inches forward on your lap, moving closer to Loki. You watch, wondering what she’s up to. Loki looks down at her and Shadow stops moving, staring up at him. Loki smiles down at Shadow. “What are you up to now?” he asks with an amused tone. Loki looks away from Shadow, making his movement very noticeable. Shadow continues inching closer to Loki, close enough that she could rest her head on Loki’s vambrace. Instead, she inches carefully into a different position, putting her head basically above Loki’s hand. Then in an instant she swoops down and bites on the edge of Loki’s vambrace, sticking her jaw underneath the vambrace. 

Both you and Loki laugh as Shadow nibbles on Loki’s vambrace. Loki keeps his arm rigid, allowing Shadow to play with it. “You put up quite a show, trying to not let us know what you were up to,” you tell Shadow as she leans her head down against your thigh while still biting Loki’s vambrace. 

“Aren’t you full of surprises?” Loki asks Shadow sweetly, gently petting her head. His hand brushes against your thigh with each pet. It’s probably accidental, and would be hard to avoid, but it still sets you on edge. But you can’t help but smile as Shadow purrs. “I wonder what you’ll think of this,” Loki says playfully as he stops petting Shadow. You watch as he undoes the buckles on his vambrace and slides his arm away from Shadow. She drops the vambrace onto Loki’s lap and almost looks disappointed. But she stands up and walks off of your lap onto Loki’s and does the same thing as before with his other vambrace, making you and Loki laugh.

“What is with you and his armor?” you ask her, amused.

“She needs something to play with, I suppose,” Loki says while petting Shadow. “I only got food just now, but she’ll need something other than my arms to play with.”

“Maybe look for something shiny,” you joke. Shadow lets go of Loki’s vambrace and instead rubs against his chest, purring. It takes you a moment to realize what you just said. Am I seriously joking around with Loki? C’mon, [Y/N]! Remember who you’re with and what he did to you!

“Oh, I shall. I’m wondering whether the shininess had anything to do with it or if Shadow just wanted to play with me.” Shadow stands up and jumps off Loki’s lap onto the floor, starting to explore around the room. She seems hesitant, like she wants to stay near you and/or Loki. “Go on, we’re right here, see? You can look around your new home.”

Bucky’s POV

“Well, he’s repeatedly told her that he is protecting her from some sort of danger. There might be someone or something out there we don’t know about that Loki does know about that is specifically dangerous to [Y/N]. Maybe he needs her alive for something down the road, so he can’t let whatever it is kill her now. Or he could be lying about that and have something else planned for her. What I’m more worried about is this. We all know that his, uh, familial life isn’t ideal. Especially if he wasn’t lying about Odin ordering his torture. I know that you care about him, Thor, but I don’t think he really realizes that. He probably thinks he’s out on his own. Well, almost immediately, Loki was sympathetic towards [Y/N]. And now he’s letting her cry on his shoulder and letting her talk to me. Love is a universal need. Maybe this chance to show affection, no matter how messed up, is distracting him from whatever his plan is. Or maybe that was the plan, to find someone that he could love.”

“That would work with the insufferable jab from before. Y’know, kidnap the kind, sweet girl that would apologize if you ran into her, not the guy with no filter and will get incrementally more sarcastic.”

Bucky rewinds the audio to the start, holding onto his necklace tightly. 

“What happened?”

“I was standing, about to leave my room, when I couldn’t move or open my eyes. Loki was talking to me. He said he needed me to do something. I thought he was going to make me do something here, attack you again or have me steal or something like that. Instead he made me ta-.”

“You’ve listened to that more times than is good for you,” Steve says from the doorway, pausing the audio. “I can’t pretend to understand how much [Y/N] means to you. But listening to this over and over again isn’t going to help anyone.”

“I’m terrified,” Bucky admits quietly. “I’m terrified of what he’s doing to her.” His grip on his necklace tightens.

“I know.” Steve walks towards where Bucky is sitting in the empty conference room and sits next to him. “I am too. We all are.”

“Do you think Wanda’s theory is true? That Loki is doing this because of some twisted version of love?” 

“Loki isn’t known for being emotionally stable. I think it’s one of many possibilities,” Steve answers. “I don’t think we have enough information to know what he wants yet. Loki’s always been a few steps ahead of us, and I doubt he’s shown all his cards yet, not to mention the few he has up his sleeves.”

Bucky nods. “I wish there was more I could do. But I can’t help but feel like there’s something we’re missing. Something right in front of us.” Which is why he’s spent an hour listening to the audio of Wanda telling everyone what [Y/N] told her. Wait . Maybe I’m looking at this the wrong way. “Or behind us….”

“What do you mean?”

“What if this is connected to other things Loki’s done?” Bucky asks, exiting out of the audio player and pulling up the Avengers’ file on Loki on the screen in front of them. “Everything he does always seems like nothing but a random grab at power. But what if there is a rhyme and reason behind it all?”

“That it’s all been different attempts at the same goal?” Steve asks for clarification.

“Or worse, he’s gotten everything he’s wanted up to this point.”

Chapter Text

Loki’s POV

“It’s alright, dearest, it’s alright. You were dreaming,” Loki says softly, letting go of [Y/N]’s shoulder. He had found her a moment before, sleeping with her head in her arms leaning against the kitchen table, an open book next to her. She was shaking and gasping for breath, nearly falling off the chair because of her trembling. Loki had gently shaken her awake once he was standing next to her. Now that she is awake, Loki steps back, giving [Y/N] some space. [Y/N] backs away from him as much as she can while sitting on the chair in the nook, still shaking. She hugs one leg against her chest and watches Loki warily as he pours some water for her. “Is there anything I can do to help?” he asks as he holds out the glass for her.

[Y/N] shakes her head as she takes the glass from him.

Loki nods, watching [Y/N] with worry. “My offer still stands.” 

She shakes her head again. 

“Let me know if you change your mind,” Loki tells her as he walks out the room, giving her time and space to recover from her nightmare. After a week, they’ve practically built a routine. Loki finds [Y/N] asleep somewhere, clearly having a nightmare. He wakes her up and gives her some water because it helps calm her. Loki asks what he can do to help, [Y/N] shakes her head. Loki offers to use his magic to alleviate her nightmares, and she refuses. He leaves her to herself, saying he’ll use magic if she changes her mind. 

Loki doesn’t know what her thought process is, what she feels about this, or anything else. All he knows is that [Y/N] hasn’t truly slept for eight days. Since then, nearly every time she sleeps ends with a nightmare. She doesn’t go to sleep at reasonable hours, only sleeping after passing out from exhaustion. Maybe she can’t sleep, maybe she won’t let herself sleep to avoid nightmares. Whatever the case, this is taking a toll on [Y/N]. Nothing major has happened yet, but something bad will happen if something doesn’t change, Loki is sure of it.

Coulson’s POV

“Another one?” Coulson asks as he looks at the newspaper May had just handed him. “Whoever’s doing this is working fast, fast enough for us to find out from the paper. The press must be having a field day with this stuff.” Over the past month, several Watchdog locations have been attacked by an unknown someone or someones. They have left nothing to trace them. They aren’t using firearms, so there’s no ballistics to examine. There’s hardly evidence of a struggle in some locations, just a bunch of bodies. Most locations have bullet holes and whatnot everywhere, but it appears that the Watchdogs were firing at the attacker(s), or firing and hoping they got lucky. The causes of death for the Watchdogs have mainly been stabbings, slit throats, broken necks, blunt force trauma, and falling from great heights. So whoever is doing this favors blades and is strong enough to snap necks and push someone into something hard enough to kill them. While that isn’t something an average Joe can do, it can be done by a non-enhanced human.

“Nothing to indicate who did it,” May says. 

“Well, at least it’s the Watchdogs,” Daisy says. “I feel better with less of them in the world.”

“This might draw more people into it,” Coulson responds. “Everyone assumes it’s an Inhuman doing this, and there’s enough people who were supportive of the Watchdogs. They could see this as more than an attack on the Watchdogs, but as an attack on humanity.” Daisy raises her eyebrows and gives Coulson a look shouting, “Really?” “I didn’t say they were being logical. But that’s on the back burner. Whoever’s attacking them might not be so great. Enhanced people and aliens are just like everyone else: some are good, some are bad.”

“And the Watchdogs are a pain in everyone’s arse,” Daisy finishes. 

“You’re certain none of the people we know about could have done it?” May asks her.

“The Inhumans I’m in contact with haven’t been near any of the attacks. Other enhanced people also haven’t been nearby. The only one we know of we haven’t been in contact with is Robbie, and I think it would be pretty obvious if he was the one behind doing this,” Daisy answers.

“Other than that is the Avengers, and I’m guessing we’d know if the Avengers were doing this. Trust me, Stark is not one for subtlety,” Coulson adds. He pauses a moment, his joke about the Avengers giving him an idea. “There’s only one person I can think of that’s a fan of stabbing that might be able to pull this off, but he’s supposed to be in custody. I’d hate to deal with him again, but it would be funny to see his face when he sees me.”

Stephen’s POV

“You do realize how crazy this sounds,” Stephen asks Loki, who nods.

“I’m aware.”

“I’ve meddled with time before, and I’m lucky to have not broken reality.”

“I’m not exactly meddling with time. Think of it as working with a goal in mind,” Loki argues. “A goal that is frighteningly difficult to obtain. It’s estimated we make 3,500 somewhat conscious decisions a day. Countless people making thousands of decisions daily. Any one of them can cause a chain of choices, leading them into an entirely different life.”

Stephen nods. “I know from experience. One minute you’re choosing what watch to wear, the next you’re sitting across from the guy who tried to invade the planet not long ago, and best of all you’re working with him.”

“I know. You understand time more than most,” Loki says. “The odds are stacked against us, and stacked very high. But as long as I live, I’m going to prevent this.”

“Same, though probably more literally for me,” Stephen adds, referring to the Eye of Agamotto around his neck. 

Your POV

You are really tired of these nightmares. All you want to do is sleep . Sleep for a long time, without nightmares, and try to live as normally as you can while cooped up in the house your kidnapper put you in. But every time you sleep, you are plagued with nightmares. There are two categories: the Loki nightmares and the him nightmares. The him nightmares were the minority to begin with, and over time they’ve lessened and lessened. They’re still about horribly traumatizing things, but they’re horribly traumatizing things of the past. Everything with Loki is happening now, and those nightmares are by far more common. Loki kidnapping you, Loki controlling you, Loki punishing you, Loki hurting the other Avengers, Loki hurting Shadow, Loki killing you, Loki killing the other Avengers, Loki killing Shadow, Loki taking over while you’re too powerless to fight back, Loki being way too touchy with you, Loki manipulating you into doing something awful (a common one is you hurting the Avengers without knowing it until it’s too late), just about anything awful that Loki could do to you. 

If only you could sleep . But the only way you could maybe do that is if Loki does the spell on you. And there is no way you are going to consent to any more magic being cast on you. You don’t understand enough about his magic to know what he’s doing. An innocent nightmare preventing spell could be a cover for his body control spell, or any other spell that would be handy for him.

You’ve tried Googling how to help with nightmares. Based on your search, the best thing you could do for your nightmares is therapy. And how are you supposed to do that as Loki’s captive? The other things are good ideas, but not using blue light before sleeping and keeping a regular sleep schedule aren’t working. You tried to keep a sleep schedule, you really did. It resulted in you waking up a few hours later and being unable to sleep afterwards. And not using electronics before going to bed didn’t work either. 

What you really need is for Loki to release you, to somehow miraculously escape, or for the other Avengers to rescue you. Anything to get you away from him. But the way things are going, nothing will be happening anytime soon.

Loki seems worried about you. Most of the time he wakes you up from your nightmares, and the other times he is there to give his offers. To use his magic to stop the nightmares and to listen to you retell the nightmare. The magic is a definite no, and you aren’t comfortable going into detail telling Loki about your nightmares about him. 

You keep a journal now. When you (hopefully) get out of here, you’re going to tell the others everything. It will be nice to get all of this off your chest. But now that you are living with Loki, if you can keep a record of what happens, maybe that can be used to find out what the heck he wants or what can be done to stop him. And you get the benefit of writing it all down, which helps you sort through your thoughts. You don’t want Loki to know what you’re doing, so you are making a digital record. You made a new Google account not connected to you at all. And you doubt Loki would think you’d make a fake Gmail registered for a fake person named Mattress Lawnmower (they go by Matt for short). You log in on your phone to [email protected] on your secure browser when you need to type something into the journal. You go to your Google Drive and create a Google Doc for that date and write whatever it is. Then you log out of that account, delete search history and data, and move on. It’s not the most secure thing, and you’re really hoping Loki doesn’t know enough about phones to see that as a possibility or to think you might make a fake account with the name Mattress Lawnmower. 

You wish you could tell someone your true feelings now, but you can’t. You can’t even risk Loki overhearing you whispering to Shadow. 

When you walk into the bedroom, Shadow is on the bed, sleeping. She’s been sleeping there more than you have lately. You lie down on the bed, covering yourself and Shadow with the blankets and curling around Shadow. Turns out Shadow’s owner died not long ago and she managed to get out of the house, not liking the crowd of relatives that came to sort out what to do with his possessions. None of them are in a position to take care of a cat now. Between the cat allergies and dogs and landlords banning pets, there was nowhere for Shadow to go. But the family wanted to make sure Shadow was well looked after, for their dead’s sake. 

Someone knocked on the door a couple days ago, asking about Shadow. Unfortunately, the one time someone rings the doorbell, you were asleep. Maybe it’s for the best, you would have certainly tried to let them know you were being held against your will, which couldn’t be good for you or them. Anyway, Loki told them about Shadow. Apparently her previous owner also thought that name suited her, because that’s what he called her too. They told Loki what had happened and all they want is for Shadow to be taken care of. After Loki promised to do so, they had left, thanking him for giving Shadow a home. When you woke up later, Loki told you that Shadow was staying. That was probably the happiest you have been as Loki’s prisoner. 

The feeling of warmth next to you is comforting. Shadow opens her eyes tiredly before walking closer to your head and lying down, your face now covered by her body. After Shadow had done that many times, you had Googled it, and apparently that’s a pretty common thing for cats to do. You run your hand through Shadow’s fur as you lie down with her. You pull the blankets up higher to cover more of your body. You’re both wide awake and deathly tired, but you doubt you’ll be sleeping anytime soon. That’s not why you’re in bed. If you’re in bed, Loki will (probably) not disturb you, hoping you’ll fall asleep. You’re near tears as you open the Solitaire app on your phone, needing something different to do. You are tired of feeling so helpless, but you are so powerless now. There’s nothing you can do. You have tried and tried and tried to find a way to escape, but there isn’t one. And even if there was, you’d be in no shape to escape now. You’d need to be well rested to attempt anything. But you can’t even make yourself sleep.

Chapter Text

Loki's POV

Loki lifts [Y/N] up off the couch and cradles her in his arms. Her head rests against his shoulder as he carries her sleeping body to her bed. She had been curled up smaller than Loki thought possible, so small Loki didn't see her at first when he walked briskly past the room. She was on the couch facing away from the door, and all he could see was some of her hair on the armrest. Her position looked horribly uncomfortable. [Y/N] has had sore muscles all this time from odd sleeping positions and refused to let Loki heal her. The least he can do is to stop new sores from forming and move her to where she'll be comfortable. 

Loki sets [Y/N] on her bed after flipping her blankets up for her to lie on the mattress. He helps her lie on her side, knowing that's how she prefers to sleep. He brings her blankets up to her neck before turning around and silently walking away. 

"Loki…."

Loki is halfway out the door when he hears [Y/N]'s shaky voice. He turns around and walks back to her, mentally cursing himself for waking her. "Dearest?"

"Please...please…." [Y/N]'s voice isn't desperate. Every time she has pleaded with Loki, the source has been desperation. But this is different in a way Loki can't quite figure out. She has barely moved from where Loki placed her. Likely terrified to move if she's begging like this .

"How can I help you, darling?" Loki asks as he kneels next to her bed, hoping to seem less threatening if he's at eye level with her. [Y/N]'s are closed, not squeezed shut in terror. Though, slowly, she is transitioning to her eyes being squeezed shut. 

"Please...no more…." It isn't desperation in her voice, no. Loki has it figured out now. It's resignation. And she isn't awake. She's dreaming of him. Most likely, he's doing something to her in this dream, something awful. And [Y/N] has lost almost all hope. She only has enough to beg because maybe, maybe, the version of Loki in her dream will give her mercy. But that hope is almost dashed away. "It hurts...please…." What am I doing to her in this dream?! If she's dreaming about 'me' torturing her, why would she feel the need to tell 'me' it hurts? No, the pain must be a surprise, something on top of whatever hel this already is. How am 'I' hurting her? 

"Darling, it's alright," Loki says softly as he places his hand on her shoulder and starts to gently rub it. "I wouldn't ever hurt you. This is just a nightmare." Loki pauses. "I can't apologize enough. For everything. There is nothing I could do to set this right. Even still, I will always try. Because you never deserved to be taken from your home and forced into my life. There are reasons for this, and good ones at that, but that doesn't mean this is good. It's only the lesser of two evils. And with whatever choice I made, you'd be hurt. But I would rather emotionally hurt you than let you be physically hurt, likely to the point of death. At least when this is all over, you'll have the chance to recover. You'll be at home, surrounded by those that love you dearly. You'll have their support. I know better than most now that they'll do anything to see you safe. If only they had the same tools as I. Then maybe this would never have to happen. But it does. So much of what has happened has been unexpected. I purposely didn't try to learn much about you, not wanting to make you think I'm an insane stalker. I assumed you have been through trauma, given your occupation. But I didn't think this would spark so many reminders. And I know it makes sense this would happen, but I didn't think I'd wake you up so often from nightmares about me doing Norns know what awful things to you. I don't know if I want to know, not after hearing you plead like that, like you had accepted whatever I was doing would happen regardless of anything you said or did. And to think I'm doing this to prevent harm coming your way. You haven't slept longer than two hours at once in so long. I may not be beating you, but despite my efforts I have hurt you physically, even if not directly. [Y/N], my dearest, you deserve so much better. You should be at home with your friends, having fun with them, going wherever you want, being yourself, seeing someone if you're interested in that, whatever makes you happy. Not stuck in the home of your kidnapper, terrified half to death."

[Y/N] shudders at first under Loki's touch, but slowly settles down. Her muscles loosen as her body finally relaxes. She curls slightly and shifts herself under her blankets a little more, still asleep. Her breathing steadies, and soon it doesn't look like she almost woke up from a nightmare. Loki can't help but smile a little at the sight of [Y/N] sleeping peacefully, burrowed under her blankets and curled up like a kitten. But he has several questions in the back of his head. He gives her shoulder one last squeeze before letting go.

"Sleep well, dearest, please ." 

Avengers' Files

Loki
Threat Level: Severe
Species: Jotun, appears Asgardian
Sex: Male*
Hair: Black*
Eyes: Green*
Skin Tone: Pale*
DOB: circa 940-970 AD✝
Age : appears 35*
Abilities: Sorcery (limited telepathy and telekinesis, illusion creation*, self replication, duplication casting, storing items in a dimensional pocket and later conjuring them, shapeshifting*, able to use several magic objects, etc, many of which are not understood), strength and speed of an Asgardian, high intelligence, use of daggers, scepters, and other weapons, deceptiveness (possibly aided by his sorcery), and knowledge of hidden gateways between the Nine Realms. Possibly has abilities specific to Jotuns.
Known Accomplices: Chitauri (former)

Summation of Incidents Involving Threat:
Complete reports by relevant parties can be found in reports files.

Loki Laufeyson was born in Jotunheim between the listed dates. He is the biological son of Laufey, former king of Jotunheim. Laufey attacked Earth around the time of Loki’s birth. Odin, king of Asgard, fought against the Jotuns, forcing them to retreat. Eventually, Asgard won the war. Odin found the infant Loki, who was apparently abandoned for his small size, and took him to Asgard to raise him as his own. For the next thousand years, Loki was a part of the Asgardian royal family. But he was never told he was adopted, much less that he wasn’t Asgardian.

In 2011, Thor Odinson, eldest son of Odin, was meant to be crowned as king of Asgard. The coronation was canceled after a handful of Jotuns broke into Asgard to steal the Casket of Eternal Winters, which was taken by Odin during the aforementioned war. This attempt was easily foiled, but it led to tensions between the two kingdoms. 

Through a series of events, Odin banished Thor, sending him just outside Puente Antiguo, New Mexico, Loki learned who his biological parents truly are, Odin fell into a coma, and Loki was temporarily given the throne. When Sif, Fandral, Volstagg, and Hogun, four of Asgard’s finest warriors, came to Puente Antiguo to bring Thor back to Asgard, Loki sent  the Destroyer, which was essentially a robot, to kill the five of them. It also caused severe collateral damage. 

After defeating the Destroyer, the five Asgardians returned to Asgard. Loki fought Thor on the bifrost as Loki attempted to destroy Jotunheim. The bifrost was destroyed, and Loki let himself fall off into the void of space below them. He was assumed dead. It is debated whether his intent was to die or if he faked his death to escape Asgardian justice.

It is unknown what happened to Loki afterwards. But we know that he made an alliance with the Chitauri. Loki came to Earth in 2012 by opening a portal via the Tesseract, which was being studied by S.H.I.E.L.D. in a remote facility. Loki used a scepter to mind control Clint Barton, Erik Selvig, and others. He stole the Tesseract and escaped with those he was controlling. 

Because of this, Nick Fury started creating a task force, including Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanoff, and Tony Stark, and brought in Bruce Banner to locate the Tesseract. The task force first saw action in Stuttgart, Germany, where Loki attacked. He was captured and taken to a helicarrier for questioning. On the way, Thor returned to Earth. After some time, S.H.I.E.L.D. allied with Thor to stop Loki and find the Tesseract. 

Unfortunately, Loki allowed himself to be captured. Barton and others controlled by Loki attacked the helicarrier, damaging it severely. This caused Banner to transform into the Hulk. Loki then killed Phil Coulson, an agent with a high clearance level. Loki used this to escape, knowing that S.H.I.E.L.D. would have great difficulty in stopping him if their task force was killed or split up.

Loki went to Stark Tower in New York City, New York to use Stark’s arc reactor to jump start the Tesseract to create a portal for the Chitauri army. The task force, Thor, and Banner, now collectively known as the Avengers, fought Loki and the Chitauri, eventually winning. Loki was taken by Thor to receive Asgardian justice. 

In 2013, Thor and Jane Foster required Loki’s help in leaving Asgard on a secret route to Svartalfheim. They broke Loki out of the Asgardian dungeons, and Loki led them to Svartalfheim and offered his assistance in fighting Malekith, who sought the Aether. In an attempt to destroy the Aether, Loki used illusions to make it look as if he had betrayed Thor, supposedly injuring Thor and handing over Foster to Malekith. This plan did not work, and Malekith obtained the Aether. In the fight that broke out, one of the dark elves impaled Loki. It was assumed he had died, but he survived. It is unknown how Loki survived. 

Loki returned to Asgard and put a spell on Odin, taking away Odin’s memory, before dropping him off in New York City in a elderly living center. Loki shapeshifted to take on the appearance of Odin and returned to Asgard, acting as the king. His reign lasted for a few years. He withdrew from interplanetary politics, letting the other realms act for themselves for the most part. Many realms broke out into revolutions and other forms of violence without Asgard to stop them. Loki's reign lasted for three years. 

In 2016, Thor discovered what had happened to Odin. Odin had broken free of Loki's spell but continued his exile, going to a small town in Norway. After some time, Thor convinced Odin to return to Asgard and take back the throne.

When they returned to Asgard, they had found that remnants of Jotunheim had attacked. The cause was Loki, who had tried to destroy Jotunheim in 2011. While they believed Loki was dead, they gave some blame to Odin for raising Loki to see their race as inferior. It is unknown what Loki was planning, but Thor watched as Loki revealed himself to the Jotuns. He was attacked and was stabbed with a poisoned blade, which supposedly killed him in minutes. After this, Thor expelled the Jotuns from Asgard. When Loki's body was not found, it was assumed that the Jotuns had taken his corpse as a prize.

But Loki has a record of not dying. In 2018, Loki returned to Earth, once again seeking a powerful object: the Darkhold. For the next two years, he would search for the Book of the Damned. This caused several short conflicts between himself and the Avengers and others. These conflicts include:

1. 2018: Attack on S.W.O.R.D. in a remote location in an Arizona desert.
2. 2018: Using his sorcery, Loki manipulated several former S.H.I.E.L.D. agents into giving him classified locations of different objects and persons of interest.
3. 2018: Brief telepathic control over Nick Fury to gain access to top secret S.H.I.E.L.D. vaults not formerly disclosed because of the danger of the contents of the vaults.
4. 2019: Slipping past the Wakandan border to gain access to Wakandan laboratories. 
5. 2019: Brief capture of Vision. 
6. 2019: Unconfirmed reports suggest Loki was at the Hydra base the Avengers attacked when rescuing Steve Rogers, who had been captured the day before.
7. 2019: Unconfirmed reports suggest Loki was involved in a conflict near a former S.S.R. base.
8. 2020: Unconfirmed reports of Loki being seen accompanied by a female minor. Said minor has not been seen by him since, nor has he mentioned her. Odds are these reports are incorrect, but shouldn't be disregarded.
9. 2020: Attack on Avengers Compound. Loki was captured by the Avengers and Thor took him to Asgard. 

Loki recently claimed that he was tortured during his second imprisonment on Asgard. This claim is as of now unconfirmed.

An Asgardian radical broke into the Asgardian prisons in mid-2020, six months after Loki's imprisonment. This radical killed every prisoner, including Loki, believing that they didn't deserve to live. But once again, Loki did not actually die.

In 2021, Loki was in New York City, New York. The Avengers fought and captured him. But they soon learned Loki wanted to be captured in order to get close to [Y/N] [L/N] and capture her. In New York City, Loki put a spell on Wanda Maximoff, allowing him to control her body at will. Using Maximoff as a distraction, Loki captured [L/N]. 

Since then, the Avengers have had contact with Loki five times in almost three weeks. Maximoff attempted to locate Loki through telepathic means, which were unsuccessful. The Avengers confronted Loki in New York City briefly, but Loki disappeared through some unknown spell. When they returned to the Compound, a projection of Loki and [L/N] (unconscious) were there. Loki told them to leave him be and no one but [L/N] would be involved. Finally, Loki contacted Maximoff telepathically, asking her to speak with [L/N].

[L/N] told Maximoff that she had been tied to a chair for eight days. Loki untied her and gave her access to the house he is holding her in. [L/N] was recovering from a horrid fever when she spoke with Maximoff. Loki has not told her his reasons for capturing her, only that she would be in danger otherwise. This was on [L/N]'s ninth day of captivity. There has been no sighting of Loki since, and no contact had successfully been made with him. 

Updated March 12, 2021

*These are typically the physical characteristics Loki chooses to have, but the applicable spells can change his appearance.
✝Because Earth, Asgard, and Jotunheim each have different lengths of days and years, and thus different calendars, estimates must be made in relation to any dates that don't have a direct connection to Earth that has a recorded date.

Your POV

When did I go to bed? You slowly sit up and try to remember what had happened before you fell asleep. You grimace as you turn your neck to the side, still sore from all the times you've fallen asleep any place possible in the house. Stupid nightmares. Wait. I didn't wake up from a nightmare.

You look at your phone for the time after finding it on your desk. Please be more than two hours, please be more than two hours . 5:47 pm. Last time you checked the time, it was 2:00 pm. Almost four hours! You can't help but smile in relief at both the length of your nap and the lack of nightmares.

You take the blankets off and get off the bed while you try to remember what had happened. I was on the couch, bored. Tired of solitaire. I was thinking about watching The Office , but I didn't want to get up to turn on the TV because that seemed annoying and I didn't know what Loki would think about it. And then...now. You sigh, not wanting to think about the most probable answer to your question. Loki carried me here, didn't he? Did he use the anti-nightmare spell on me too? Loki has not performed any magic on you without your permission since he modified the homeostasis spell. But that doesn't mean Loki isn't above performing spells in your sleep. I guess the one time I let him do it, I had to be awake for it to work. So hopefully I was just lucky this time .

You walk into the bathroom to look at yourself in the mirror to help you tidy the tendrils that escaped your bun while you slept. You have been trying to keep your hair up, not wanting Loki to constantly touch your hair. Once the messy knot on top of your head is in a “good enough” state, you leave the bathroom and head towards the door. After so long of living here, you’ve somewhat put a lid on your fear of the rest of the house. Loki isn’t releasing you any time soon, so you may as well try to be comfortable while you’re here. And he does let you be for the most part. He tries to have at least one conversation a day with you, but otherwise he lets you be the one to reach out to him. The only exceptions are when he checks on you after a nightmare, but those are short and practically scripted conversations. The pros outweigh the cons: you get a change of scenery and the odds of having to interact with Loki are much lower than you thought they’d be. It still is terrifying the first few minutes, but you calm down fast enough. 

When you get to the door, you find a piece of paper on the floor, probably shoved through the crack between the door and the floor. You bend down and pick it up to find Loki’s handwriting across it. 

“My apologies for leaving so suddenly, something unexpected happened. I’ll be back around 7.”

Loki has been vigilant about telling you when he leaves and when to expect him back. When you asked what he does while he’s away, he said he couldn’t tell you yet. The same answer to every other question here. You fold the note up and put it in your pocket as you walk down the hall, deciding now is the time to watch The Office . You haven’t watched anything since you were kidnapped. It felt more awkward to watch TV than to read or mess around on your phone. Reading is typically an independent thing, and Loki doesn’t interfere when you read. If anything, he’ll read in the same room as you, but that’s it. But with TV, he can walk in and watch with you, removing a barrier between you and him. And you don’t have any earbuds. You weren’t carrying any when you were captured, and you haven’t found any in the house. Loki always asks if there’s anything he can do to help you, but you aren’t going to ask him to get you some earbuds of all things. He isn’t here to run errands, he’s here to keep you prisoner. The “anything I can do for you?” talk is almost certainly meant to manipulate you into getting more comfortable with him. It’s doubtful Loki would actually follow your requests with good intentions. 

But, if Loki is gone until 7, that gives you about an hour to use the TV while he’s gone. So about one episode of The Office . You walk into that room and turn on the TV while grabbing the remote. There’s a Roku connected to the TV and a DVD player with DVDs lined up in rows beneath it in the cabinet. You turn on the Roku and go to download an app, since there’s nothing on it. 

Did Loki find this stuff for me? Does he ever use any of this on his own? That question comes up a lot. This house seems like the perfect size for two people to live together. And there’s the obvious fact that you have a bed, clothes, and toiletries. There are shelves full of books from Earth, many of which Loki hasn’t touched. Most of the dishes come in sets of two. There are two chairs at the kitchen table, and two stools at the island. The only thing not set up for two are the number of couches. Two out of three rooms with couches have two when two people really only need one. But on the other hand, it isn’t uncommon for you or Loki to lie down on a couch, making each couch hold only one person. The room with only one couch has a table and chairs (two of them), so you and him could either sit at the table together, sit on the couch together, or one of you could sit on the couch and the other at the table. It makes you wonder how long he has planned on capturing you (or another Avenger, since you don’t actually know if his plan was to abduct you this entire time). 

You type in Tony’s streaming platform in the search bar and download it. Basically every streaming service only allows around five profiles, which doesn’t work so well with the size of the Avengers. So Tony developed his own platform without a cap on profiles so that no one had to share and no one had to log in and out of stuff a bunch of times. It’s only available for the Avengers technically speaking, but it’s not a huge deal if we give the login information to family. For example, Clint’s family uses it too. But it isn’t available to the public. Doesn’t even have a recognizable name, just a keyboard smash (Tony calls it Venge, and unfortunately that has stuck), so that it doesn’t become common knowledge and no one begs for it to open. Because it doesn't run like a typical streaming platform (basically you just whatever it is you want to watch. Buy it once and it’s owned, no continually fees for usage. It’s basically just like buying a bunch of DVDs. Tony likes to cover the costs a lot of the time, but since it’s a one time payment it’s pretty affordable for anyone in the Avengers) and Tony doesn’t want to have to keep the software running for hundreds of people when that’s an investment he’s not currently looking at, it’s not available for the public. So when the app begins to download on the Roku, you have to type in a message that will be sent to F.R.I.D.A.Y. If you use the right code, the app will download. But you see this as a brilliant idea. Because you can add a message onto the code.

You begin typing as fast as you can with the remote, not caring for capitalization, punctuation, or grammar, now worried that Loki will return sooner than expected. “8U6P9G this is [y/n] loki has a roku hes letting me use & i can contact you this way & he doesnt know. no idea why im here or what he wants. he leaves a lot now i dont know where what or why. he leaves me be mostly except for when i have nightmares which is a lot. dont sleep well too many nightmares loki normally wakes me up from them. thats all i have just hoping i found a way to contact you please friday dont delete this request i know its more than the code but it really is me trying to tell everyone im alright loki hasnt hurt me just let me know if this works i still get texts emails cant respond to them. thanks & love you all.”

Once it’s done, you send the request, looking behind you to make sure Loki didn’t just watch you find a loophole. The app starts to download and you almost shout for joy. That means F.R.I.D.A.Y. didn’t automatically delete the request for having more than the code and is probably showing everyone right now. A moment later, you feel your phone vibrate. You unlock it to see a text from Tony. 

“I am so glad I didn’t hop on the bandwagon and make Venge public now. Give me a moment. I’m going to make it a requirement to use that code to buy anything.”

Then you get a text in the Avengers group chat from Tony. You haven’t gotten any texts from that since Loki captured you, presumably in case Loki goes through your texts or something. 

“You’ll have to temporarily use the code 8U6P9G to buy anything on Venge. Also get to my lab now.”

Now that you have that figured out, you still have time to watch an episode of The Office . You go onto your profile and start watching. And almost immediately you are laughing at one of your favorite openers on the show. Which is exactly why you specifically wanted this show. All you want right now is something funny as heck. You want to smile, you want to laugh, and you rarely do that now. But if there’s one person that can make you laugh in the first few seconds of an episode, it’s Jim Halpert.

Chapter Text

Loki's POV

Loki steps inside the house and hears voices. He walks toward the voices cautiously. No one but him and [Y/N] should be inside. The enchantments around the house are strong, but there are always loopholes in any good spell. None of the voices sound familiar. Loki listens to them and soon his worry goes away as he hears what is being said. "Identity theft isn't a joke, Jim! Millions of families suffer every year!" Probably the television . Even still, Loki goes to check and let [Y/N] know he's back. He walks just outside the room and looks inside after lightly knocking on the wall next to the doorway. 

[Y/N]'s body goes rigid before she hurriedly fumbles with the remote and pauses the television before turning to look at Loki. She is sitting cross-legged and facing the television on the couch, a blanket loosely wrapped around her shoulders, Shadow curled up in her lap. "Yes?" Her voice shakes through the one syllable.

"Just letting you know I'm back, dearest. Sleep well? When did you wake up? You were still asleep when I left two hours ago."

"Um, yeah, and I woke up an hour ago," [Y/N] answers, looking down. 

"That's good," Loki says as he walks towards the couch opposite [Y/N]. She subtly backs away from him when he sits opposite her. "Twice as long as usual, correct?" She nods. "Good, good." Loki lets out a breath before asking a more serious question. "Any nightmares?" [Y/N] shakes her head. Loki nods, staring at her, deep in thought. "That would be my doing."

"So, you did put the nightmare spell on me?" she asks, a hint of betrayal in her voice.

"No, I can't cast that spell on someone who's already asleep. Besides, I respect your decisions, darling, and have no intention of using any spells on you without consent unless absolutely necessary. What happened this time was unintentional." Loki sets his arm on the arm rest and puts his weight there. "I was going to tell you I was leaving when I found you asleep on the couch. You looked incredibly uncomfortable. It looked as if a wrong move would tear your spine apart. I carried you to your bed, and as I was leaving your room, you started speaking in your sleep. You were pleading with me, whatever I was doing in your dream was hurting you. I knelt next to you with my hand on your shoulder, and I spoke to you. I spoke to you calmly, apologizing for all that has happened. I was about to shake you awake when you settled down. You curled up like a kitten and looked as content as one."

"You just…talked to me? I don't even remember any dreams I had. That, that was enough to help me?"

"Unfortunately, no. Magic was used, unintentionally. I didn't notice until the deed was already done. There is a spell that lets me give one of my current emotions to another in exchange for one of there's. I haven't intentionally used that spell since I was a child first learning basic spells. It isn't all that reliable, and I can't decide which emotions are exchanged. But occasionally, I use that spell without realizing it. It has only happened when I was distraught, terribly worried for whoever I use the spell on. Hearing you beg to not be hurt was heartbreaking. You sounded resigned, like you had already accepted the pain. It felt awful to hear it. I must have worried over you enough to take your fear away. I haven't any idea what emotion I gave you in return. It doesn't help that emotions are complicated. Emotions could present themselves entirely differently in you than me. And we always feel a combination of emotions. We might never know what I gave you."

"But it's over with now, right? Whatever happened, I wasn't having a nightmare and now I feel pretty much the same as always." 

Loki gives her a sad smile. "Dearest, I wish I could say you were right. You're going to feel what I gave you for a few days. Same holds true for me. I am terribly, terribly sorry, darling. I can't apologize enough."

[Y/N] hesitantly nods. "So, are you scared right now since you swapped out my fear for something else? And I'm feeling whatever that something is right now?"

"Yes to both questions. You said you feel the same as before? I could have given you an emotion you were already feeling. For example, I assume you have been very familiar with worry since I brought you here. I was very worried about you when this happened, so maybe I gave you that."

"Sorry," she mutters.

"Don't be," Loki insists. "No matter how you look at it, there is no way to justify blaming you. You aren't at fault, you're far from it."

[Y/N] sinks a little lower, still looking down. "It's pretty obvious that I'm scared right now. So what does that mean?"

"You can still feel what I took from you, and vice versa. There was a pause in your fear before you started feeling it again. I assume I'm feeling whatever I gave you right now as well. Do you have any more questions?" She shakes her head. "If any come up, you are more than welcome to ask." Loki pauses before continuing. "And that applies to anything. You may always ask me questions. I might not be able to give you an answer for everything, but I will answer what I can."

"Not now," she answers quietly.

"Then I'll let you continue with what you were doing." Loki stands up and walks to the doorway. "Again, you have my sincerest apologies," he adds before he leaves.

Bucky's POV

"None of it adds up," Bucky says, gesturing to all the files on Loki. "He isn't consistent. He goes from, what, a mental breakdown on Asgard to obsessing over global domination to being non-aggressive with Thor to silently usurping the Asgardian throne to small, targeted attacks on Earth. And there are years long gaps where we have no idea what happened to him."

"And?" Sam asks.

"We don't have the full story. We never have. It would be like if the only parts of my life you knew about were a handful of things Hydra forced me to do and a little bit about when I first met [Y/N]. What would you think if that's all you knew?"

Sam pauses before answering. "I'd probably think you were kidnapping her and bringing her to Hydra instead of helping her out of a dangerous situation."

"Exactly. Based on what you know, that seems right. But if you look at the details a little closer, it starts to make no sense."

"Like how you act completely different now that you aren't the Winter Soldier. What is it about Loki that makes no sense?"

"Seriously, read through this. He's described completely differently in 2011, 2012, 2013, 2016, and 2018. And who knows what happened to him between all this stuff. I mean, look at this.” Bucky taps on the screen in front of them and turns on a video. “This is from when Loki showed up in 2012. I know it’s blurry, but look at him .” Bucky zooms in on Loki. His skin shines with sweat, and the dark circles under his eyes are a stark contrast to his deathfully pale skin. There is a gleam in his eye neither men have seen when they’ve seen Loki in person. 

“He looks like crap . Looks like he'd collapse if someone touched him,” Sam agrees. 

“Makes you wonder what happened before this." 

"How did no one notice this?" 

"Clint and the others he mind controlled were the ones closest to him. Clint and I talk about, y'know , sometimes. He was very disoriented the entire time, especially at the beginning. He probably never noticed much of Loki's details. The others never got close, and in this lighting it would be hard to see that if you're getting shot at by an alien," Bucky explains. "I guess no one's really gone back through the video of this night until now."

"Okay. What else?"

"He disappeared again in 2016 and wasn't seen until 2018, when he started his search for the Darkhold. Which never went far. In 2012 he immediately had the Tesseract. After a few years, Loki never found the Darkhold, and we have no idea where it could possibly be. It makes me wonder if that's what he was really after."

"Then what does he want?"

"I don't know." Bucky leans against the table and holds onto the edge tightly. [Y/N], apparently . He doesn't dare say that thought aloud. "I'm going to keep searching until I can find something ."

"Buck, you did find something. You've probably done more analysis on Loki than the rest of us combined. Now that I say that out loud, we need to do a better job at doing this early enough to catch things. Sorry for never doing this and making more work for you. But you can't sit here 24/7 reading files trying to find a theory."

"It's not 24/7 if I sleep for seven hours," Bucky shoots back. 

"You get my point. This isn't healthy. Do you think [Y/N] would want you to constantly be in here, reading mind numbingly boring files?"

"She'd want me to figure out what is going on," Bucky argued.

"Yes, she would. But she also would want you to go outside and live your darn life . I know she means a lot to you, more than any of us can understand. She's my friend too and I would do anything to bring her back. But obsessing over that isn't going to help her. If we overwork ourselves, we won't be able to help her if the time comes. You're right, there's a lot of stuff to revisit. But instead of isolating yourself, let us help you, and please let yourself live a little." Sam looks at Bucky sternly before his face softens. "It's what [Y/N] would want."

Bucky sighs. "Alright, alright. I'll go roll in the grass or whatever you want me to do."

"Then you can come straight back here. I'll look over this stuff and see what I can find."

"I'm not coming back here, Sam, not for a while. I'm not going to learn what happened by looking at paper. That was just the start."

Your POV

You take a deep breath as you stand in the hallway. You can do this, [Y/N]. He said he'll answer questions. It won't hurt to ask, even if he doesn't answer. Hopefully. You let out your shaky breath before walking into the living room where Loki is sitting on a couch. On the floor not far away is Shadow, chasing a dot of light. How can an apex predator be so cute? Just before she can 'catch' it, Loki flicks his hand and the dot moves. So he's a living laser pointer too? You think when you don't see Loki holding one and his hand is held in a way similar to when he does other spells. I can add that to the list .

"Loki? Can I, um, can I ask a question?" you ask slowly as you carefully approach him.

"Of course, dearest, of course," Loki says as he makes Shadow's light disappear (much to her dismay. Loki apologizes by picking her up and scratching her chin). He gestures to the seat in front of him, inviting you to sit. You hesitantly do so, not sure how to behave in this situation.

"I was wondering, when did you decide to take me?"

Loki leans back against the couch as he looks at you. "Such a simple question has a complicated answer. I can't tell you everything yet, but I'll tell you what I can." You nod, acknowledging him. A little information is better than none. "I didn't intend on being captured that day. I didn't intend on being spotted. For one second, my spell slipped, and Heimdall could see me. But I used it to my advantage. I was going to wait to bring you here, but if I was going to be in the same room as you, I figured I may as well take you then. If that couldn't happen, I'd capture someone else to lure you to me. I wouldn't have taken anyone else here, no. This place was reserved for you. And with you close to me again, I'd capture you and bring you here. As for when I chose you, it was not long before you captured me. I can't tell you exactly why, only what I've said the entire time. Here, you're safe."

You nod, not entirely sure what to think. "Thanks. Sorry to bother you."

"You didn't," Loki states the instant you finish your sentence. "You aren't a bother, darling. And asking questions isn't bothersome. I'm not a Dursley." You're thrown back by his last sentence. He's…referencing Harry Potter ? Casually? "Surprised by the reference? I've enjoyed reading those books. I'm more than halfway through Prisoner of Azkaban . In an ideal world, I would have had time to read more of them by now. But that doesn't matter right now. You aren't a burden, my dearest. And you have every right to ask questions."

"Okay," you whisper, not knowing what else to say. "I have another question."

"Ask away."

"Do you remember when we first met?" It was long before now. It was the day Loki attacked the Compound. You were living there, but weren't an Avenger. You weren't considering becoming one all that much. The first thing Loki did was trap you in your room. You were terrified and had no idea what to do. Loki claimed he wouldn't hurt you and that he'd leave you alone if you answered his questions. Not knowing what else to do, you complied. You told him you were the only non-Avenger at the Compound and which Avengers were there at the time. He thanked you and next thing you knew, Bucky was waking you up and telling you what happened.

Loki nods. "I must have terrified you. I apologize for that."

"Even then, you said you wouldn't hurt me."

"I did."

You pause, trying to find the right way to word your question. "Why are you so obsessed with my safety? You didn't know hardly anything about me, but you took the time to promise I wouldn't be hurt. And now you've brought me here to keep me safe and train me. I don't understand why you'd care?"

Loki sighs, seeming to have a hard time finding the right wording himself. "When I attacked the Compound, I didn't want any unnecessary bloodshed. I still don't want any. I knew you were there, so I had to make sure you stayed out of harm's way. I asked you about anyone else because that would be faster than searching. I put you to sleep to keep you away from the battle. As for now it's…complicated. I would tell you if I could, but I can't. Someday, I swear, I will tell you everything."

You nod. "Thanks. That's all."

"Don't hesitate to ask any questions that arise."

Chapter Text

Your POV

You smile as you read the text you just got. Apparently Bucky has been struggling with everything since Loki kidnapped you. He's been working to find a way to bring you home, but maybe working too much. But he's been convinced to have some time to himself every day, thank heavens. He texts or calls you then. You can't answer, and he knows that. But you can listen to the voicemail and read the texts.

"Nothing new since when I said we don't know Lokis whole story. Kind of hard to figure this stuff out when no one was looking for it before & Loki is who knows where with you. But I think I might have the right idea. Nothing adds up Loki is hiding something. Anyway watching Peter right now is the funniest thing. He just found out the girl he likes has known he's Spiderman for a long time. Between that and her asking him out he's constantly panicking a little. I feel bad but at the same time it's fun to watch. Scott mastered the art of catching cheese balls in his mouth. Whenever he walks into the kitchen at least 1 of us throws a cheese ball at him you'd love it. I love you [Y/N]. I swear we are going to get you out of there & Loki won't ever touch you again. I'll see you soon. Hang in there."

Bucky's texts are always so sweet. He always lets you know how the search for you is going and how the others are doing. Then he promises to bring you home safely. You wish you could respond. If you could talk to someone, anyone other than Loki, everything would be much more bearable. And it would help Bucky too if you could talk to him. While you're glad that he's working to find you, it's sad to hear how much this has hurt him. 

And it's not just him. All of the Avengers have been having a hard time since you were kidnapped. Obviously, you're the one suffering the most because of this, but you can't help but worry about your family. You feel awful, knowing that they're forgetting to live their lives because of you. You've been missing for twenty-two days. They've been losing sleep, forgetting to eat, and overworking themselves for twenty-two days. You can't help but feel bad.

You close out of the message app and stand up off the window sill. I need something different . You grab a jacket and head outside to the pine tree at the edge of the backyard. You climb onto one of its lower branches and sit on it, leaning against the trunk. You climb up here every few days when you need a change of scenery. Plus, you can see outside the dome you're trapped in. Any information you can get on your surroundings will help.

The next door neighbors are a young family. Mom, dad, two kids, twins maybe, ten at the oldest. The house on the other side has children playing in the backyard, but they're different kids everyday. Their parents will tell them it's time to go home after a while. Your best guess is they're visiting grandparents or something. In every direction there are snow-tipped mountains in the distance. Houses spot the area, only broken up by roads and a school. There are street signs, but they aren't close enough for you to read what street and city you're at. A tree covers up the sign on the school, so you can't look that up either. 

No one can see you. There was a time when some kids were sitting on the roof next door, and you tried to talk to them. And either they're very good at pretending they didn't hear a stranger, or they couldn't hear or see you. You try not to pay attention to the twins next door as they start playing soccer together. You have the urge to shout at them, to hope against all logic that they can hear you, that they'll be able to help you. Better to ignore them than to lose your voice screaming at a force field.

You jerk your head towards the backdoor when you hear it slide open. Loki steps outside and looks around until his eyes finally land on you. You tense when he starts walking towards you. He smiles at you as he gets closer. "I see you've found a nice spot for yourself. Mind if I join you?" 

No, please, go away! "Sure," you answer hesitantly. Loki walks closer and grabs onto the branch above him and is about to start climbing. "That one's covered in sap," you mumble.

"Thank you for the warning," Loki responds as he grabs onto a different branch. In a minute, he sits on a branch not far from yours. You look away from him, grabbing a nearby branch for balance. You can feel him staring at you as the two of you sit in silence. Finally, he breaks the silence. "How are you feeling?"

Why would you ask that? You hunch your shoulders, trying to think of how to respond. The correct answer would be that you're exhausted, you're terrified, you're confused, you're stepping on eggshells constantly, you don't believe his 'kindness' is there because of the goodness of his heart, you want to see your family, it's starting to really get at you, bring trapped, you hate how Loki always tries to talk to you, you're sad that he's trespassing on the place you found, you feel helpless and powerless, you blame yourself for the pain your family is feeling now, you're angry at Loki for all of the pain etc, etc. Can't exactly narrow that down into a short sentence. With most people, you'd lie, say that you were okay. But that doesn't work so well with the God of Lies.

"You don't have to say if you don't want to," Loki tells you quietly. "Your reaction answers it." You sink lower, wishing you could hide. You want to curl up, but you have to be careful with how you sit, not wanting to fall off. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

You could let me go . But you know that won't happen. You shake your head, not daring to look up. You shut your eyes and take deep breaths, trying to reign in your emotions. But you can still feel Loki staring at you. You tighten your hold on the branch. 

"Dearest, I–how do I put this?–you have every reason to fear me and every right to hate me. I know I'm the last person you want to see. But I swear to you, all I want is to help you. If there's anything you need, let me know, and I will do what I can to help. I am more than happy to help you with anything. All you have to do is ask–you're shaking." That is true, you are trembling. If it weren't for leaning on the trunk and holding a branch, you could have fallen off already. "Darling, you're shaking a lot. Do you want to climb down, just in case?"

He's right . Any shakier and I'll be falling . You nod sadly, not wanting to leave your spot. You start climbing down but don't make much progress. Too shaky to get a firm grip. 

"Dearest, let me help you," Loki all but whispers. You shudder, halfway down the tree. In a moment, Loki is next to you, climbing down as well. You nod in shame. "Can you wrap your arms around my neck?" You slowly reach out with your arm closest to Loki and hook it around him, holding onto his armor. Once you're secure, you wrap your other arm around him and then wrap your legs around his waist, putting all of your weight on him. You press your face against his back, his hair tickling your forehead, cursing yourself for getting yourself into this. You tighten your hold when Loki climbs down the tree. And in hardly any time at all, you're letting go of him and standing on the ground. 

You wrap your arms around your waist as you stare at the grass beneath you, feeling Loki towering over you. You shrink in on yourself when you see Loki turn around to face you. "I'm sorry," you whisper, lips trembling. 

"Whatever for, dearest?" Loki prompts. Your mind races with everything you want to apologize for. Most of it isn't directed towards Loki, but towards everyone you care for. When you don't respond, Loki continues. "For needing my help?" You nod, hugging yourself tighter. "Darling, there's no need to apologize. There's nothing wrong with needing help." Your thoughts race as he speaks. "You said before that you don't want to be a burden. You aren't anywhere near burdensome. And even if you were, there would still be nothing wrong with needing help, dearest." 

Lies . 

"I want to help you. That's why I brought you here. Please, you don't ever have to apologize whenever I help. You haven't done anything wrong."

Stop.

"[Y/N], dearest, please, let me take care of you. This is all so hard for you. Let me make things easier for you until I can take you back to your home. Please, darling, I want to help you. Ask, and I will do what I can for you. But please don't feel sorry for needing help."

"Stop," you mouth silently, shaking your head. 

"I only want to help you, I swear-"

"Stop lying to me!" you shout, no longer able to contain yourself. "You don't care about me, all you're trying to do is manipulate me! You know I'm emotionally vulnerable compared to everyone else, so you took me to manipulate me into doing whatever it is you want me to do! Just tell me what you want!"

Loki seems shocked at first, and then…apologetic? He's just manipulating me . "[Y/N], I'm not-"

"Stop it!" Your whole body shakes as you shout, releasing anger you've hidden away for nearly a month while at the same time fearing what will happen next. Loki steps toward you and you're immediately hiding your face behind your arms. You step back, not wanting to be anywhere near Loki. "Just stop it!" Before Loki can say anything else, you turn away and walk towards the door, listening carefully for Loki to follow you. 

You turn around only to close the door behind you, and you see Loki out of the corner of your eye, right where he was before. You blink tears away as your mind starts to catch up with what you did. You shakily walk to the bedroom and lock the door behind you. You double check that the window is locked before walking into the bathroom and locking that door. You sink to the floor and hug your knees, terrified.

Daisy's POV

Daisy takes a deep breath before kicking the door to the warehouse down. She walks through, Bobbi behind her. "Someone should be here," Daisy mutters. The Watchdogs wouldn't leave a door unguarded .

"Found him," Bobbi says, tilting her head to a shadowy corner where Daisy can just make out a body. Daisy covers Bobbi so that she can examine the body. "Dead. Stabbed."

"How does this guy get around so fast?"

"I think he only died minutes ago, with the amount of blood here."

"Please tell me I'm not the only one surrounded by dead people," Hunter says over the comms. He's with Mack on the opposite end of the building.

"We've got a body," Daisy confirms.

"We do too," May adds from her and Elena's position on the roof. "This one's fresh."

"Proceed as planned, we might get the added bonus of finding this guy," Coulson says from the basement entrance with FitzSimmons. 

Daisy and Bobbi walk through the warehouse, finding more and more fresh bodies. Everyone else gives similar reports. Daisy is about to think the guy left just before they got to the site until she hears voices.

"I know an attack is being planned. Who is the target?"

Daisy and Bobbi silently step through the rows of shelves, listening to the conversation as they approach.

"Take a guess." Neither of the voices are familiar. 

"I'm short on time, and so are you."

"If you're going to kill me anyway, why should I tell you?"

"Maybe I won't kill you, there's a few people here that would like to see you." How does he know we're here? Daisy and Bobbi reach a good vantage point to watch the conversation, and they peek at the two men. One of them is a Watchdog, pinned to the floor on his stomach. The other wears a black cloak and is pinning the Watchdog to the ground with his knee. He doesn't look around, only straight down at the Watchdog. "And now that they've heard about the attack, they're going to want to know more. Face it, you've lost. Would you rather tell us here or somewhere else?"

"We have eyes on our killer," Daisy says quietly. "Tall male, wearing a black cloak. He's interrogating a Watchdog. Somehow knows we are here." Daisy clips a bug to the shelf next to her so that everyone else can hear the interrogation.

"I'd rather you kill me."

"Really now? I suppose that removes one option."

"Fine. A group of Inhumans in Los Angeles."

"Lies," the cloaked man accuses not a second after the Watchdog finishes his sentence. Does he know that, or is this some sort of interrogation method? "Hmm. Not going to tell me, are you?" The man grabs the Watchdog's wrist and pulls it close to a nearby pipe. Daisy's view is obstructed by his cloak, but when he pulls away she sees a handcuff connecting the Watchdog's wrist to a pipe. The cloaked figure stands and turns his back on Daisy and Bobbi. "He's all yours."

"We're going to have to ask you to stay," Bobbi replies as the two agents step out from behind the shelf and approach him, arms and batons raised. In front of him, Mack and Hunter walk out of the shadows, icers raised. May points an icer at him while Elena waits for any movement, ready to pounce. Coulson and FitzSimmons point icers at him from the stairwell.

"You will find some experiments of theirs downstairs, assuming you haven't already. Good luck." The cloaked man starts to walk away, unbothered by the icers pointed at him. Daisy releases vibrations at him, feeling her arm rattle as the energy passes through her and in front of her. The man casually dodges the blast. Elena runs towards him but by the time she's to his position, he's gone.

Chapter Text

Caine's POV

"How much longer?"  

"Very soon. Be patient. It takes time for this stuff to be built," Caine tells the man on the phone. He doesn't know who the man is. It's often his clients choose to remain anonymous. Normally he can find some way to identify them, but this man has his tracks covered. "Maybe a week, two tops."

"Good. Thank you."

"You can thank me with cash."

Loki's POV

Loki has given [Y/N] her space, leaving the house to give her the entire place to herself. She has every right to be upset. She's wrong about his intentions, but she has plenty of reason to believe the way she does. He kidnapped her, that's more than reason enough to not trust him. There's nothing he can do to convince her, and whatever he does she will be scared. But that's better than what would have happened if Loki had not interfered.

And, yet, he can't make himself open the front door. Loki can only imagine what [Y/N] is thinking. Probably something along the lines of him punishing her for shouting alongside her feelings of resentment. It already aches so much to see her shudder when they're in the same room, hear her voice shake when she speaks, and watch tears well up in her eyes the second she sees him. Surely, [Y/N] will be much more terrified now. Standing in the same building will terrify her. 

Loki sighs. This can't last forever . He slowly turns the doorknob, listening for [Y/N]. As he steps inside, light shimmers around him as he swaps out his Midgardian clothes for his Asgardian leather. These are much more casual than what he normally wears, and hopefully look less intimidating. Loki tends to wear less formal clothing around [Y/N] for that same reason. Loki takes a deep breath before he walks forward to search for [Y/N]. 

When Loki doesn't find her anywhere else, he stops in front of her bedroom's door. He lifts his fist up to knock before pausing. He takes a deep breath before finally tapping his knuckles against the door. After a second, he hears a faint shuffling sound from inside. After what feels like millennia, [Y/N] opens the door.

Her shoulders are slumped, her head bowed, her hair covering her face. One hand is wrapped around her wrist in front of her, holding tightly. She trembles like windchimes, shrinking in on herself with every second. She sniffles every few seconds as she and Loki stand at the doorway, Loki not knowing what to say, and [Y/N] (probably) too scared to speak. Her soft, barely audible sobs all but tear Loki's heart out. Just as Loki is about to break the silence, [Y/N] starts whispering in between sobs.

"I'm sorry, I, I shouldn't have done that." She hugs her waist as she continues. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please don't be angry, please. I swear, nothing like that will happen again. I'm sorry." Her sobs increase the longer she speaks.

"Darling," Loki says as calmly as he can. "Dearest, there's no need for that. I'm the one that should be apologizing to you."

"That, that's not true," she stutters. "I, I yelled at you and, and-"

"And I more than deserved it, darling, every word. You're the one that deserves apologies, not me. You didn't tear me from my life and drop me into a new, confusing environment with hardly any explanation. You didn't tie me down for a week just to keep me trapped in a house-sized cage. You haven't terrified me every time we're in the same room. All of which and more I have done to you." 

"No, no, you're angry, that, that's the only way this makes sense," she says, shaking her head frantically. 

"Sh, it's alright, dearest, it's alright," Loki whispers, slowly setting himself on one knee in front of her. "I couldn't ever be angry with you. Shout at me as much as you please, and I will never be angered." He reaches his hands out, palms up, giving [Y/N] the choice to take his hands. Hesitantly, she ever so carefully puts her hands in his, arms tense. She flinches when Loki starts to rub his thumbs along the backs of her hands. "It's alright, I'm not going to hurt you or anyone else. I never will, no matter what you do. You're safe here." 

[Y/N] crumples, dropping to her knees, shoulders shaking with every sob. Her back is bent so far forward her head almost touches Loki's chest. Loki adjusts his position, kneeling on both knees, reducing his height. "Please…this makes no sense," she sobs. 

"Tell me what confuses you, and I'll help you, dearest," Loki assures. "I can't tell you everything, but I will tell you what I can. I want to help, but I don't know what you're thinking. I can't answer your questions unless you ask." 

"Sorry," she whispers, sinking lower.

"Please, [Y/N], you don't ever have to apologize to me," Loki says, leaning closer. "Do you want to ask me anything now? Do you need some more time to yourself? Tell me what you need dearest, let me help you."

[Y/N] shakes her head frantically, pleading. "Stay, please, don't leave me." Her grip on his hands tighten as she holds onto them like a lifeline, hands shaking.

“I won’t leave you, my darling. If you want me here, then here is where I'll be." [Y/N] shuffles closer to Loki, close enough to rest her head against his shoulder. She keeps a tight grip on Loki's hands as she sobs into his shoulder. He leans his head against hers, not daring to try to hold her and break her death grip on his hands. "I'm here, dearest, I'm here," he whispers as she cries, rubbing circles into her hands with his thumbs. 

This is not what Loki expected would happen. He had assumed [Y/N] would want to be as far away from him as possible. If it weren't for the way she clings to him, he would assume she is doing this as an attempt to please him. But with any sudden movement of his, she holds on tighter. Her body shakes with every sob, her hair covering her face. Loki falls silent, allowing [Y/N] time to cry as much as she needs to. 

Your POV

You shift as you kneel, putting more of your weight on your ankles to save your aching knees and thighs. You must have knelt in front of Loki for a long time, sobbing your heart out onto his shoulder while holding hands. You sob harder thinking about what you're doing. Why do I want this? Why does it feel good when I cry on your shoulder? Why? Part of you wants to be held by Loki, but you know that is a bad idea. Best not to let him touch you too much, for various reasons. You settled on crying on his shoulder and holding his hands, but this too is a bad idea. You shift on your knees again, trying to find a more comfortable position.

"Your knees hurt?" Loki asks, startling you. He hasn't spoken since you begged him to stay with you. You nod, bracing yourself for Loki to tear his hands away from yours to lift you up or whatever he plans on doing. "Shall we sit somewhere else? How about a couch?" You nod again, knowing in a second you'll be cradled against Loki's chest. You move your head off of Loki's shoulder when he gets off his knees and crouches in front of you. He squeezes your hands gently as he stands, gently pulling you up with him. Before you can wonder why he isn't carrying you, Loki starts walking slowly towards the front room. He stops after a couple steps, held back by your arms. When you don't follow, he gives you a soft smile. "Is something wrong?" You shake your head, staring at Loki, confused. You step forward, letting him guide you to the nearest couch. The entire time, he rubs the backs of your hands, walking at your pace. 

When you and him stand near the couch, Loki uses his foot to push the coffee table closer to the other couch, giving both you and him room to awkwardly shuffle through. He walks next to the table, putting you next to the couch. He sits on the table once you sit on the couch. Immediately, you rest your head on his shoulder, still sobbing. Loki leans his head ever so slightly against yours. Before you can stop yourself, you shift your head closer to his neck. 

Eventually, your tears come to a stop. You continue leaning against Loki despite your brain screaming at you to stop letting him touch you. Your hands are on Loki’s lap, still delicately held by him. You occasionally feel Loki’s breath on your neck, sending shivers up your spine. Get off of him! You mentally shout at yourself. He wants you to be dependent on him for things like this. This makes you all the more vulnerable! Finally, you listen to yourself and back away from Loki, but you keep holding his hands. You get a quick glance at Loki’s face before you look at your lap, bouncing your leg nervously as you feel Loki staring at you.

“How can I help, dearest? Do you have anything to ask me?”

“Why aren’t you angry?” you ask, voice only a whisper. You brace yourself physically for the answer, still not believing him.

“My dearest, may I ask you a question? You don’t have to answer, just think about it.” You nod, trying to predict where this is going. “Would he be angry if you yelled at him?” You nod nervously, worried about where this could go now that Loki is talking about him . “And how would he have reacted?” You shudder, shoulders hunching as you think about what happened when you did similar things before, not realizing you are bracing yourself. “It’s alright, he’s not here, darling,” Loki says, rubbing your hands firmly. “I didn’t mean to scare you. Do you think I will react similarly?” You nod, looking down, gripping onto Loki’s hands tightly. If you’re holding them, you know where his hands are. He could still easily hurt you, but this eliminates a few methods at least. “Am I him ?” 

“What?” you manage to breathe out, confused by his question.

“Am I the same man that hurt you before?” You shake your head, wondering what he means. “I’m not him , so why should I react like him?” You tilt your head, trying to wrap your head around what he’s saying. “Think of it like this. If you were to start living on another planet, you wouldn’t be able to survive the same way you survive here. There would be different food, different customs, different dangers. You would have to make changes in your life to accommodate for the new environment. Right now, you’re on another planet but you’re acting like you haven’t left. You are trying to survive him , but he isn’t here, I am. Things are different. Not everything you did before is necessary here. I have different beliefs and behaviors than he does. And you’re trying to learn what is happening and how best to survive.” You nod, understanding the metaphor. “It is hard to learn. I know from personal experience. And there’s nothing wrong with struggling. I’ll always be here to remind you where you are.” Loki smiles softly as you look up at him. “As for why I’m not angry, it isn’t exactly surprising that you would feel resentment towards me. I completely deserve it. I’ve caused you so much pain, I deserve all of your harsh words.”

“I wasn’t very nice,” you whisper.

“And you have no obligation to be kind to me. Norns, I kidnapped you. You owe me nothing.” When you look down sadly, he continues. “I’m certain you are a very kind person normally, but, please, I don’t deserve your kindness. Don’t feel compelled to be kind to me. Reserve that for those that deserve it.”

“I still shouldn’t have done it.”

“Dearest, it was bound to happen eventually. Eventually everything you were bottling up would explode. I’m honestly surprised it didn’t happen sooner, and I won’t be surprised if it happens again. You needed your thoughts to be heard, and you made sure of it. If this happens again, I won’t be angry then either, and I still will have deserved it. And, if it’s of any comfort, when did you last sleep?”

“Um….” You try to remember when you slept last. It was the day before, early afternoon, only for a couple hours. “At three yesterday?”

“You are so incredibly sleep deprived, darling. I’m sure your emotions are all over the place now. Either way, you have every right to be angry, but if it’s of any comfort, I doubt you’re regulating your emotions and responses to them as well as you would if you have a full night’s rest. It’s not your fault that you yelled at me. I haven’t listened to you as well as I should have, and you’ve been bottling everything up while you’re sleep deprived. Circumstances considered, you really didn’t yell all that much.”

That’s a fair point, I guess . “But what about before?” you ask hesitantly.

“I don’t follow.”

You grasp onto his hands nervously. “You were angry before, weren’t you?”

“What makes you think so?”

“When we switched emotions, I think you gave me anger. Why else would I snap at you now?” you explain quietly. 

“If it was anger I gave you, it was anger directed at myself. When I heard you begging me in your sleep, all I wanted was to make things better. But I couldn’t do that because I have to keep you here. I was frustrated with myself because I hurt you emotionally but I can’t let you leave. But that’s assuming I gave you my anger, and I don’t think I did. Like I said, I was expecting this to happen. I’m sure this happened on its own.” He leans a little closer to you. “If anything, I thought I gave you my guilt.”

“What?”

“Everyday I regret bringing you here. I’ve caused you so much pain by bringing you here. But at the same time, I have to protect you. I hate that I’m the one doing this to you. Everyday, I wish I could reverse this or find a way out of it, but I haven’t found one. With how you’ve been apologizing more often lately, I assumed I gave you my guilt.”

“So, I haven’t made you angry?”

“You never have, and never will.” Loki smiles. “Has that helped?” you nod, relieved to know he isn’t angry, hoping you haven’t put false trust into this conversation. “If you’re ever scared that I’ll treat you how he did, would you try to remember this?” You nod. “And you can always ask me for clarification.”

Chapter Text

Natasha’s POV

“What on Earth do you want?”

“To ask a favor,” Natasha says, phone on speaker phone as she looks over old S.H.I.E.L.D. records, looking over former agents she worked with in the past. “It’s nothing too big.”

“What is it?”

“Long story short, Loki is loose and has a hostage.”

“Civilian?”

“No, an Avenger.”

“Blaze, I assume?”

“How did you know?”

“No one has seen her in a few weeks. What were you going to ask me?”

At least this proves you’re the right man for the job. Agent Dalton was one of the techs charged with locating objects and people. He was actually the one that wrote the code for the program used to find Loki in Stuttgart all those years ago. Since S.H.I.E.L.D. collapsed, he went back and forth between private companies and the NSA until he retired a year or two ago. But, clearly, he hasn’t lost his touch.“If you see anything suspicious, anything that might be Loki’s doing, will you let me know? We’ll handle whatever it is, but we’ve had no luck finding him.”

“I can do that. Send me what information you do have, that will help.”  

“On it. Thank you.”

“Not my first time tracking him down. Hopefully it will be my last. You should ask some mercs too if you know any. Loki might be working with mercenaries to get his supplies, probably not with them knowing who they’re working for.” Dalton hangs up, and Natasha puts a check mark next to his name. 

Not a bad idea . I’ll get to that when I’m done going through the agents I can contact.

Your POV

"That's better, isn't it?" You answer Loki by nodding, not trusting your voice. Of course, it isn't better, but that's not what Loki wants to hear. You were sitting on the couch alone, and apparently looked lonely enough for Loki to join you. He plucked you off the couch and sat down with you in his lap before you could say anything. Your chest is tight, your heart pounding, as Loki runs his fingers through your hair, tucking your head in the crook of his neck. With a flick of his wrist, you’re wrapped in a blanket, so tight you can barely move. You stare at your lap as Loki plays with your hair, waiting for it to be over. You have long since learned that the best way to survive is to let Loki do what he wants with your mind and body. Eventually, he’ll leave you be. It could be worse. Loki is always gentle, and part of you does enjoy (at least a little bit) much of what he does to you. You wait as patiently as you can as he pets your hair, picking at your cuticles under the blanket. 

“You’ve been awfully quiet today, darling. Is something wrong?” 

You shift in his arms, pressing yourself against him more. Loki likes it when you lean into his touch and all. He tightens his hold on you slightly. “I, I’m fine.”

“You certainly don’t seem fine. Tell me, dearest.”

You bite your lip for a second, trying to come up with what to say. “Just a little tired,” you answer truthfully. There’s a lot more to it, but nothing Loki will listen to. 

Loki nods. “Yes, I suppose you were up rather late last night.” He presses a kiss to your hairline before slipping his arm under your legs. “Shall we get some rest?” You nod, trying to free your arms. Loki will carry you to bed, and you think he likes it when you cling to him when he carries you. Loki chuckles as he stands with you in his arms. “I’ve always found it cute when you hold onto me like a lifeline, but you seemed chilly today. I don’t want you to freeze. You’re safe in my arms, darling.” At least I know he likes that now , you think as you stop fighting the blanket, instead snuggling as close to Loki as you can. 

He carries you into his bedroom. Well, now it’s yours too. You aren’t quite used to thinking of it as yours. He sets you on your side of the bed before walking around to get on his side. Loki pulls you closer to him, tucking you against his side and magically switching out yours and his clothes with silk pajamas before covering you and him with blankets. “Do you want this, or is this too much?” Loki asks, pulling on the blanket you’re wrapped in. 

You wiggle on the bed to get closer to Loki, using his chest as a pillow. Something he has referred to as “adorable” several times. “The blanket burrito is fine,” you answer, making your final adjustments to get comfortable. Less contact with this on , you think. The blanket shields you from Loki somewhat. And it is warm and comfy. 

“Blanket burrito?” Loki repeats, amused. “My, every time I think you couldn’t be any more adorable, my queen, you prove me wrong.”

“It’s what humans call this,” you explain, flustered. You tilt your head back far enough to brush your lips against Loki’s. He particularly likes it when you initiate touch. You plant your lips against his. You and Loki share a short and sweet kiss before Loki pulls away. 

“We stayed up much too late last night doing this, and you are suffering the consequences of it. I take responsibility for that, and I will make certain you rest tonight. There will be nothing but sleeping tonight, my little burrito.” You nod and tilt your head down again, feeling Loki peck the top of your head before he turns off the lights with a flick of his wrist. Darkness floods the room, and the only sound you hear is Loki’s heart beat and steady breathing. You snuggle against him one last time, probably earning a smile from Loki, before closing your eyes. It isn’t too bad, sleeping next to Loki. It’s rather comfortable, and by far the action you prefer to do in bed with him. You breathe deeply, expecting to be asleep soon. 

But you can’t overcome this feeling of restlessness. The feeling of Loki’s arm wrapped around your waist is suffocating, the rhythm of his chest falling and rising is dizzying, and the sound of his heart beat is deafening. Why is this happening? You wiggle around a bit, trying to adjust your position, hoping that will help.

“Darling? Anything the matter?”

“Can’t sleep,” you admit, freezing when you hear his voice.

“What a cruel trick for the universe to play on you. Tired yet sleepless. How about we change positions? That might help.”

“Please.”

Loki gently rolls you onto your side, curling up behind you, arms wrapped around your waist, chest and hips pressed to your back and hips. You lift your head up when Loki slides a pillow towards you, and he sets it underneath your head for you. “Goodnight, little burrito.” You close your eyes, hoping to sleep, wary of what will happen if you can’t. Loki doesn’t spoon you often, only when he feels particularly protective. That might not be the case now, but there were positions other than spooning he could choose from. You close your eyes, determined to sleep, or at the very least stay still. Then, hopefully, nothing will happen. You’ll fall asleep eventually, surely. You only need to not worry Loki. You lie wide awake for several minutes, feeling claustrophobic as Loki spoons you. 

“You really ought to sleep, dearest,” Loki says sleepily. 

“I’m sorry, did I stop you from sleeping?” you ask, cursing the universe.

“No, I would have slept just fine, but I did say I will make certain you sleep tonight. Are you stressed about anything?”

“Well, a little. There’s been a lot of changes lately, and I’m nervous about them.” Those changes being the changes in your and Loki’s relationship that were forced on you by him in the gentlest way possible. Yet you couldn’t find it in you to protest it.

“That’s only natural. I’m nervous too. But you are worrying me.” Loki leans forward and kisses your cheek ever so gently. He takes one arm from your waist and holds his hand out in front of you. Light shimmers for a second, and a jar appears in his hand. “This should help you sleep, my burrito.”

You stare wide eyed at the jar of some sort of unknown substance. The jar is transparent with a brown tint, and some sort of thick, dark liquid is in there. Before you can stop yourself, you whimper softly. “No, please.”

“‘No’ what, darling?”

“Please no, not that,” you beg, curling up more. 

“This isn’t going to hurt you, [Y/N]. This will help you sleep,” Loki tells you calmly as your heart pounds against your ribs. 

“Please, wait, not that, not that.” You start struggling against the blanket, wishing you had let Loki remove it for you. It isn’t a shield anymore, it’s a trap. 

“My queen, it isn’t uncommon to need a little help with sleep. There’s no need for tears. This will help you sleep tonight.” He sets the jar on the bed and starts to unscrew the lid. “What’s got you all frightened about this?”

“Please, please, please, don’t drug me, there’s got to be some other way. I’ll sleep in tomorrow, or take a nap, or something. I’ll get all the rest I need, just please don’t drug me,” you murmur, pressing yourself against Loki’s chest to get as far away from the jar as possible when you can’t fight your way out of the blanket. 

“Ah, I see. This is medicating, not drugging. This is really for your own good, and the medicinal properties will help you sleep and help your stress.” Loki dips his pointer finger in the liquid, stirring around a bit before taking his now dark green finger out of the mystery drug. 

“Stop, please, what is it? I promise I’ll take it, just tell me what it is.”

“Asgardian sleeping medication. Typically, you swallow a tablespoon, but that would be far too much for your Midgardian body. This should do the trick though.”

“No, what is it?” you start fighting against Loki’s hold on you, something you have not done once since he kidnapped you. 

“I’m afraid I don’t understand the question.”

“Please, please, don’t make me take it. Not yet. Tell me what it is, please, I want to know what it is.”

“I told you, darling. Now, please, take your medicine.” He holds his finger near your mouth, you assume for you to suck the drug off. You shake your head, fighting as hard as you can against the blanket, but it never lets you free. When you open your mouth to plead again, you can’t let out a single word before Loki slides his finger into your open mouth. “Come now, dearest. The sooner we finish this, the sooner you can sleep. At this rate, you aren’t sleeping any time soon without medicine.” Tears stream down your face as you keep your jaw slack, trying your best to avoid ingesting the drug, still fighting his hold on you. Without thinking, you throw your head forward as you thrash in Loki’s arms, immediately regretting it when Loki’s finger kick starts your gag reflex. Saliva builds up in your mouth and your waist hurts from thrashing against Loki’s arm. 

But all of that is in vain. With Loki’s other fingers, he tilts your jaw up when you least expect it, closing your mouth. He grabs your chin, forcing your mouth to stay shut. “I promise this will help you, dearest. Take your medicine.” His voice is darker than before, sending shivers up your spine. Crap, crap, crap! You hesitantly suck the green drug off of Loki’s finger, body shaking. “There, that wasn’t so hard, was it?” Loki pulls his finger from your mouth, leaning over to kiss your temple. He screws the lid back on the jar before making it disappear. You turn your head into your pillow, sobbing still pulling against his hold on you. “There, there. You have your medicine now, and it will begin to work its miracle. And then you’ll be able to rest. That doesn’t sound so bad. Sleep well, sweet dreams my little burrito.” 

“Please, no more.”

Loki’s POV

“Please, no more!” [Y/N] screams, thrashing in her blankets, sweating and crying. She has reacted almost violently to this nightmare. Loki came running into her room when he heard her screams. He had set her down in bed an hour or so ago when she fell asleep on a bar stool and almost fell off, assuming she’d wake in an hour. 

“Hey, it’s alright, [Y/N],” he says gently, trying to shake her awake. He can’t touch her without her starting to fight against him, hitting him in her sleep. Loki lets go of her shoulder, grabbing her wrists in both his hands. She tries to pull away, begging to be let go. Loki holds onto her wrists firmly and gently. “Wake up, [Y/N], wake up.” [Y/N]’s eyes fly wide open, landing immediately on Loki. Fear covers her features as she stares up at Loki, now at a loss for words. He sets her wrists down on her sides, not wanting to trap her. “It wasn’t real, dearest, it’s alright. Must have been one awful nightmare. Is there anything you need?” Loki asks as he conjures a glass of water for her. 

She hesitantly pulls herself into a sitting position, backing away from Loki into the corner. Loki hands her the glass, and she slowly drinks her water in between sobs. [Y/N] tries to open her mouth to speak, but every time nothing but sobs come out. She pulls her knees to her chest and keeps a death grip on her blankets. She shudders when Loki sits down in the chair nearby, hugging herself. She finishes her water off, and Loki takes the glass from her. 

“How can I help?”

“I can’t do this anymore,” she admits. She sobs once she says it. 

“The nightmares?” Loki asks.

“And the lack of sleep. But I don’t know what to do.” She hides her face in her hands, clearly afraid of something. 

“I know, dearest, I know. You have tried so hard to sleep to no avail. I want you to sleep too. We can work through this together. Let’s come up with some ideas to try. Does that sound alright?”

“What? You, you won’t-?” she cuts herself off, shrinking in on herself.

“Won’t what? What are you worrying over, darling?” Loki watches as [Y/N] sobs, hugging herself.

“You won’t drug me or use your spell on me?” [Y/N] asks, no hope in her voice, shifting away from Loki.

“Heavens no,” Loki answers firmly. “None of that without your permission. Something else. We don’t have to find the answer now. I actually know someone that might have a suggestion.” Or, at the very least, Stephen might be able to point me in the right direction to find someone with a suggestion.

“Thank you, thank you,” [Y/N] says, voice muffled by her hands as she sobs.

“You don’t have to thank me. You have the right to bodily autonomy.” Loki gives her a sad smile. “Do you want to tell me about your nightmare?”

“You, um, you did the opposite of respecting that,” [Y/N] mutters quietly, refusing to look at him.

“How so?” Loki asks. This is the first time she has told him anything about her nightmares. She must be terribly frightened if she is telling me.

“Lots of ways,” she answers miserably, making Loki’s heart shatter.

“I’m sorry, darling. I am so dreadfully sorry.” A terrible lump grows in Loki’s throat. “[Y/N], if there is ever anything I do that towards you that you don’t like, tell me, I beg of you. Don’t try to please me, don’t let it happen out of fear of what I will do. Please, tell me, dearest, please. If you don’t know how to tell me, if you can’t get words out of your mouth, defend yourself. If you start fighting me, I will stop. If I don’t stop, keep fighting me with everything you have. And if I overpower you, whatever happens is not your fault, it is entirely mine. But, I swear, on my life, on my mother’s memory, on everything I hold dear, I will never harm you in such a way.”

Chapter Text

Loki’s POV

“NO!” Loki screams as a sword pierces [Y/N]’s abdomen, coming from her back and extending several inches past her front. He was too far away, helpless to save her. [Y/N] is limp against the sword, certainly worsening her wound. The attacker twists his blade, and [Y/N] screams. Loki runs as fast as he can, but she is impossibly far away. The attacker pulls the sword out of [Y/N], and she crumples onto her side on the ground, pressing her hands against her stomach. Finally, Loki is at her side, unable to do anything to stop the attacker who now walks away, as if he’s on an evening stroll instead of leaving an attempted murder. 

Loki kneels next to [Y/N], hurriedly assessing her wound. “I’m sorry, dearest, I’m sorry, let me help, please,” he says frantically, pulling her hands away from her wound to put pressure on both entrance and exit wounds himself. 

“Can’t, I can’t feel my legs,” she tells him, voice shaky and quiet. 

“I’m so sorry,” Loki whispers as he examines the entrance wound, which sliced straight through her spinal cord. “I’m going to heal you, darling. I’m sorry, but this is going to hurt.” She nods, closing her eyes and tensing. “Try to relax. Everything will be alright, I swear,” Loki says as he starts his spell, speaking to himself just as much as [Y/N]. Despite her wound paralyzing her, and cutting through at least her small intestine. Possibly other organs as well. Even if just her small intestine, the sword probably sliced several sections. And every spell has its limits. 

The damage to her spinal cord may be irreparable, and her intestines will be plenty difficult to heal. Loki could get her in a stable condition, at least. Maybe. Then he could take her to the Avengers, and they could help her. Then he would be captured, but that doesn’t matter. If he needs to be imprisoned for her to heal, then so be it. But for now, all he can do is regenerate as many of her cells as he can. 

As her bleeding slows, Loki conjures medical supplies. “My apologies,” he says as he tears part of her shirt off. “The blood on there will seep into the bandages, make it look like you’re bleeding through them.” [Y/N] nods weakly, only barely holding onto consciousness it seems. Loki carefully lifts her up, leaning her against his chest, allowing him to wrap up her wound. He tightly wraps her in bandages, explaining to her how he can’t entirely heal her, but can heal her enough to make her recovery better. 

“Ta-take me h-home, please ,” [Y/N] whispers, stumbling through her words. 

“Of course, dearest,” Loki answers as he gathers her into his arms and stands. She weakly holds onto his armor, apparently too weak to even loop her arms around his neck. After a second of concentration, Loki teleports him and her inside the hospital-like section of the Avengers’ Compound.

“How?” [Y/N] asks, holding onto his armor as tight as she can. 

“Yes, I can teleport, though I don’t typically advertise that. If this situation weren’t so dire, I would ask you to keep this secret,” he admits as he sets her down on the operating table as he glances at a security camera pointed directly at him. “Give it about twenty seconds, and someone will be in here.” 

As he finishes his sentence, the door swings open, and Banner walks in, locking the door behind him. “I’m just going to say it. We’re being attacked, and I’m the only one that was able to get in here. Normally you would be in a cell ten seconds from now, but I need someone else here with me in case they make it through that door.”

Loki raises his hands in the Midgardian gesture for surrender. “I will do everything you ask. Please, save her.” 

Banner glares at him as he walks towards [Y/N]. “Hi, [Y/N]. What happened?” he asks as he starts grabbing supplies he will need. 

“St-stabbed,” she stutters, clearly struggling to keep her eyes open. 

Before she can continue, the door swings open again, and a knife goes flying towards [Y/N]. Loki shoves Bruce away and covers [Y/N] with his body, assuming the knife is Midgardian. 

He assumed wrong. The knife buries itself in his shoulder. Loki pulls the knife out and throws it back, killing that attacker. “Hurry, Banner!” he shouts, turning to where Banner should be. But no one else is in the room, only him and [Y/N]. “Norns!” Loki sets his hands on [Y/N]’s abdomen, once again trying his spell. He tries and tries, putting all of his energy into the spell, hearing fighting approaching. “Why isn’t it working?” Loki whispers after several minutes of no progress. “Why aren’t you healing?”

[Y/N] had long since lost consciousness, Loki checking her pulse every minute. It is faint, barely there, and fading. Until it isn’t there. 

“No, no, no!” Loki shouts after checking her pulse for the hundredth time. “No, please, I can’t lose you.” He cups her face in his hands, silently begging her to open her eyes right then. Tears start falling on her body as Loki sobs. He cradles her body close to him, sinking to the floor. “Please, dearest, come back to me.” But nothing happens. Loki begs any higher power that may be listening for her life to be returned, but none answer. “I'm so sorry, I should have saved you. Please, darling, please wake up. You don’t ever have to see me again, darling, I will surrender and you won’t ever have to worry about me. Please, dearest, please.”

Your POV
Day Twenty Five

“Loki?” you ask hesitantly after knocking on his door. It’s late at night, and you can’t sleep. You were on your way to the backyard, but you heard something on the other side of Loki’s door. For a moment you thought it was crying, but you aren’t sure. But Loki did mention that he too has nightmares. Perhaps that’s why you heard crying? You hear no response to your question, and you hug your waist, wondering what you should do. If it were anyone else, you would peak your head in to see if you heard correctly. If you did, you would quietly walk inside and wake them. But this is different. Loki himself said he doesn’t deserve your kindness, and the one thing he has told you not to do since kidnapping you is to go inside his room. 

You walk closer to his door, waiting a moment, listening, hoping you imagined the sound. After a minute, you sigh, ready to walk away when you hear nothing. But that is exactly when you hear it again. What am I supposed to do? He could be upset with me no matter what I do! You set your hand on the doorknob, uncertain, your heart pounding behind your chest. I may as well get it over with if he’ll be upset no matter what . 

You slowly open his door, trying to be as quiet as possible. “Loki? Are you alright?” you whisper from the doorway. The first thing you notice is that his room is practically the same as the one you are using. You see Loki on his bed, curled on his side, shaking. When you get no response, you hesitantly step into his room, walking towards him. Once you stand next to him, you can see the worry on his face. You flinch and take a step back when Loki half-sobs. After a moment, you step forward again, setting your hand on his shoulder and gently shake it. “Loki?” 

“ Dearest! ” Loki responds as he bolts up. You pull your hand back, gasping, taking a couple steps back. Loki takes several shaky breaths before he focuses on you. “Thank you, [Y/N], thank you .” He sounds earnest. You nod, frozen in place. You watch Loki as he takes deep breaths, starting to settle down. You can’t help but notice that his gaze does not leave you for one moment, but he never makes eye contact, instead looking lower. You shudder, crossing your arms over your chest, trying to cover your breasts as much as you can, assuming that’s where he is looking. Loki blinks back into existence, looking up in shock. “That’s not where I was looking, but I do apologize for the discomfort. I dreamt that you were impaled in the stomach and died, and I can’t help but want to check that it wasn’t real, that you’re alive. I should have said something before staring. My apologies.” 

You nod, throat dry. Despite his explanation, you keep your arms where they are, just in case. His nightmare was me…dying? Why would he have nightmares about that? He actually ‘cares’ that much? Or is that obsessed? You shudder, wishing you could disappear.

“Darling, you must be terribly frightened,” Loki says after a moment, standing up. “I’m sorry you saw me like this, but I am truly grateful that you woke me.” 

Why isn’t he upset that I did the one thing he told me not to do? “I, I’m confused,” you admit, hoping Loki hasn't been lying about helping you understand. 

“How so?” Loki asks as he turns on a lamp on his desk, a little light shining across the room. 

“You, uh, you told me not to come in here, right?” you whisper, pressing your hands against your shoulders to stop them from shaking. 

“Yes, I did. But, I assure you, you have done nothing wrong. I was not clear before. Honestly, I don’t mind if you come in so long as you ask. This is my space. Sometimes I need to be alone, but I am willing to let you in. The exception being emergencies, in which case you have full permission to come in. Since you came in, I assume you could hear me. At that point, it is entirely reasonable to check on me. Do you understand?” So, he’s basically treating this like he’s my roommate and not my kidnapper? You nod after a moment of hesitation. “In the shared spaces, you don’t need permission to be there or use anything there. And in your room, I’m the one that needs permission. Does that help?”

You nod again. “Thank you.”

“You are most welcome.”

You stand awkwardly for a second, wondering if it would be appropriate to ask your next question. “Do you need anything?” You can tell Loki is still shaken up. HIs breathing is shakier, his gaze keeps going to your abdomen, his eyes look glassy, and his voice is off. 

“I don’t need anything, but may I ask for something?” You nod, nervous about what he wants. “May I feel your pulse? My mind keeps asking if you’re alive or dead, and maybe feeling your heartbeat will help.” You nod after a second, slowly reaching your arm out towards Loki, hand shaking. Loki gently cradles your hand in one hand and with his other hand sets two fingers on your artery. For a moment, all you can hear is his breathing as he closes his eyes and apparently focuses on your pulse. 

After a moment, Loki speaks, and you have to stop yourself from flinching. “This tells me plenty about your character,” he tells you. “Why did you decide to check on me, even though you thought I’d be angry?”

You look at the floor, nervous. “Well, I thought you might be upset if I left you like that. I wasn’t sure what to do, but it felt wrong to just leave you.”

Loki nods. “I don’t tell you nearly enough how much I admire you. This is a perfect example. I can only imagine how terrified you are, but even still you chose to help me. Even after all the pain I put you through. That is so unbelievably kind. And it takes a lot of courage to help someone when all you want to do is run. You never cease to amaze me, darling.” He opens his eyes and takes his hands off of yours. “You are welcome to stay, but I suspect you would rather be anywhere but this room.” 

You nod, not knowing what else to say as you slowly back away, closing the door behind you, speed walking into the room you use and lock the door behind you. You can hear your pulse as you practically hide under the blankets, curling up and wrapping your arms around yourself. After that terrifying ordeal, all you want to do is hide on the bed, away from Loki, until your heart rate can slow down.

Chapter Text

Hunter’s POV

“Not going well?” Hunter asks as he walks towards Bobbi. She is pacing and twirling her batons. Helps her think. She has been interrogating the Watch Dog the hooded man left for them. 

“I have him figured out. His life’s a mess, probably was divorced at least once, doesn’t get along with his family, and it’s easier to take his pain out on others than to process it himself. Refuses to acknowledge his choices lead to where he is now, and instead blames others. What I’m trying to figure out is who he’s working for. He slipped up earlier and said, “He’s waited too long for anything else.’”

“This is personal for someone.”

“And they’ve been unable to get revenge until now.”

“Doesn’t exactly narrow it down much. For all we know it could be someone Stark fired thirty years ago.” Hunter is about to say something else when his phone starts vibrating. He pulls out his phone and looks at it for a second before answering. “Who is this?”

“I don’t think we’ve met before. Natasha Romanoff.” 

“To what do I owe the pleasure, Romanoff?” Hunter says her name for Bobbi’s sake. She pauses her twirling, listening. She gestures to someone outside the door to come inside a second later. Hunter turns around to see Coulson walking in and closing the door behind him. Hunter turns the speakerphone on before Romanoff can start speaking.

“Loki has caused problems lately.”

“Not exactly shocking, but didn’t you Avengers capture him a few weeks ago?”

“He escaped with a hostage and has dropped off the radar, only a handful of clues about what he wants. We know he must be getting supplies somehow, some of which are illegal.”

“And you think he’s working with someone like me.”

“I’m not accusing you of anything. I doubt whoever’s working for him knows who he is. I am only asking for you to keep an eye out for anything suspicious.”

Coulson starts typing something on his phone, showing it to Hunter when he is done. “Ask for details, might be connected to watch dogs or hooded man.”

“Could you give me some more information? My employer is a former S.H.I.E.L.D. agent who lost someone in 2012. I’m sure he would be happy to help you. Give me a moment to talk to him.” Hunter mutes himself so that the others can talk.

“It’s possible Loki is connected to this,” Coulson says. “The timeline checks out, and I’ve had my suspicions. Ask for more information, say there’s a small chance he’s connected to what we’re working on.”

Hunter unmutes himself and starts speaking. “Some more information would be helpful. There’s a chance we may already be onto him.”

“I’ll send you the information we have in exchange for your information if you still think there could be a connection.”

Your POV
Day Thirty One

You sit on the couch and watch as snow gently falls. About a foot of snow has stuck, and it’s supposed to keep snowing for the rest of the day. Unfortunately, you can see the weather for your area on your phone, but you can’t see the town. You have no idea what Loki did to your phone to make it so you can’t talk to anyone and you can’t see certain things. So far, there’s only been the one loophole you found earlier. You have used said loophole to ask Tony how any of this is possible, and Tony said he didn’t know but was looking into it. 

It is April 2, and spring is approaching (assuming you are still in the northern hemisphere). You might just be able to get an idea of where you are based on the climate. Right now, all you can say is you are not on the equator and probably not on top of a mountain. You are in a suburban area getting snow in April. That can eliminate lots of places. And if it does get warmer in the next few months, that should eliminate the southern hemisphere. But, weather, while it typically has patterns related to seasons, can still have all sorts of twists and turns. Maybe seeing when sunrise and sunset are can help? That would tell you which hemisphere you’re in. If the days get longer, you’re in the northern hemisphere. If they get shorter, you’re in the southern hemisphere. All of this is assuming you're even on Earth still. If you aren't on Earth, you really have no idea of where you are.

You are about to pull your phone out to see if your phone will let you search for sunset times when you hear light knocking. You flinch before turning around facing Lok as he stands in the doorway. 

"My apologies for frightening you," he says from the doorway. "May I?” he asks as he gestures toward the seat across from you. You nod, watching warily as he approaches, pressing your hands against your thighs to hide their shaking. As he sits you look down, slowly backing into the couch. “I spoke with the friend I mentioned, and he recommended this,” Loki says, setting a bottle on the coffee table for you. A couple days ago, Loki told you that he knows a doctor and offered to talk to him about your sleep concerns. You pick up the bottle of pills and read the label. Melatonin. “It should help with sleep, but it could make your nightmares worse. It doesn’t happen often, but nightmares are a side effect for some.” You nod, skimming through all of the information on the bottle. “If it doesn’t work, I’ll talk to him again, see what else we can do. Of course, it is entirely your choice whether or not to take this.”

“Thank you,” you whisper as you put the bottle in the pocket on the hoodie you’re wearing. After some more research, you will probably take the pills. As long as you know about the drug you’re putting into your body, you are okay with taking medications. It’s not knowing what is in you that scares you, not the drug itself. 

“You are most welcome. I also have a gift for you. May I see your phone?” 

“Why?” Your mind starts racing with worry. Does he know I’ve been talking to the other Avengers? Or about my fake Gmail? Is he looking for information? Bucky has been telling me how the search has gone, does Loki know about that?

“Your phone is part of the gift.” After hesitating for a moment, you slowly pull your phone out of a pocket and shakily hand it to Loki. “Close your eyes, dearest. Wouldn’t want to ruin the surprise.” 

You close your eyes and cover your face with your hand, knowing otherwise you would try to watch without Loki noticing. You hear your heart pound and feel sweat on your hands. You tap your heel against the floor nervously, waiting impatiently for Loki to return your phone to you. What on Earth is he doing? What is he looking at? Your thoughts race as you anxiously wait to find out what Loki is doing. 

Loki’s POV

Poor thing , Loki thinks as he glances at [Y/N]. He can tell that she is trying to hide her shakiness from him. She must think I am looking at what she has used her phone for . Loki works as fast as he can for her sake. He takes the case off, setting both the case and phone on the coffee table. He conjures all that he needs to continue: UV flashlight, tweezers, exacto knife, and a thin, plastic strip. 

Loki first takes the flashlight and shines it on the back of [Y/N]’s phone, revealing the plastic strip already sticking to her phone, identical to the new one, just above the charging port. He uses the knife to gently scrape part of the strip off, using the tweezers afterwards to pinch the strip and pull it off completely. He sets the old strip on the table and uses the tweezers to gently place the new strip onto her phone. The strip lights up a pale blue for a moment as it synchronizes with her phone. Loki rubs his finger over the strip, making sure it is flat before putting the case back on. He sends everything else back into his dimensional pockets before restarting [Y/N]’s phone. After a moment of waiting for her phone to turn on, Loki unlocks her phone and pulls up her contacts. He scrolls to her list of favorite contacts. Loki taps a pattern over where the strip is, and the screen changes, asking him to select some contacts. Loki selects her favorites, glancing through them. Bruce , Bucky , Clint , Natasha , Laura , Peter , Pepper , Rhodey , Sam , Scott , Shuri , Steve , T’Challa , Thor , Tony , Vision , Wanda . All Avengers or their families, none of her own family. But he knows better than most that not everyone wants to keep in contact with their family, so he doesn’t think much of it, pushing his questions to the back of his mind. Loki taps the same pattern over the strip, and the screen turns back to what it was before. 

“You can look now, darling,” Loki says, setting the phone in front of [Y/N], almost hoping someone calls her now.

[Y/N] folds her arms as she opens her eyes, staring sadly at her phone. “How did you find out I was talking to them?” Her eyes are glassy, and her eyelashes are wet. 

She was talking to the Avengers? How did she manage to do that? “I didn’t.” [Y/N] snaps up, eyes wide, realizing her mistake. “And before you apologize, I am not angry.” How could I be angry when I have spent weeks looking for a way for her to talk to her friends ? Loki laughs softly, trying to figure out how she did it. “My clever, clever dearest. How ever did you manage to slip past my defenses?”

“I, I signed into Tony’s streaming service on, on your Roku, and it, it isn’t available to the, to the public, you, you need a co, code to login. And I, I added a message to it. And, and Tony made it so that I have to, to use that code every time I buy something on it,” [Y/N] stutters quietly, bottom lip trembling. 

Loki can’t help but smile. “I am beyond impressed. Never have I suspected anything. Congratulations, darling, you tricked the God of Trickery.” [Y/N] stares at him fearfully, trembling from head to toe, so much so that Loki can hear her pills shaking in their bottle. She blinks rapidly, fighting back tears. “I am dreadfully sorry. I knew you’d be scared when I asked to see your phone, but my other option was doing this without your knowledge. I’m sure you have a preference.” [Y/N] nods, hesitantly grabbing her phone from the coffee table. “Now, you won’t need trickery to contact your friends.” 

“What?” [Y/N] gasps, hurriedly unlocking her phone. Loki watches as she opens her messages app, clicking on the first conversation. A keyboard pops up on her screen, ready for texting. She scrolls up the conversation and clicks on someone’s icon. And much to her surprise, there is a button to call them and a button to text them individually. “You, you have to know that they can trace my calls,” she says, clearly not believing what she is seeing.

“They can’t, not now. And you can only talk to your favorite contacts. I want your stay to be comfortable, but I do have to take certain precautions.”

“Why?” she asks quietly. 

“I know this is difficult for you, and I hope that talking to those you trust will help you,” Loki explains. [Y/N] stares at him like he started speaking in another language, her eyebrows scrunched and her head tilted. “Also, I will never search through anything on here. You needn’t fear for your privacy.” She continues to stare, unbelieving, glancing down at her screen occasionally. “I apologize for taking so long to find a way to make this work. I am glad you had found another way. But I am sure this will make things much easier.” 

[Y/N] almost falls out of her seat when her phone vibrates. Her screen lights up with Barnes’s name and face, a green button and a red button below them. Her thumb hovers over the green button as [Y/N] looks to Loki, as if she is asking for permission. 

“You don’t need my permission, dearest. It’s your phone, after all.” 

“Thank you.” Her voice cracks, and she hurries to her room. 

“You are most welcome.”

Your POV

Once you are in the safety of the bedroom with the door locked, you answer your phone. “Please tell me this is real,” you whisper. 

“[Y/N]? Is that really you?” Bucky asks, sounding just as amazed as you. 

“Can we video call?” you ask, trying to hold back sobs so that Bucky can understand you better. 

“Yeah, absolutely.” You remove your phone from your face and click on a button to accept Bucky’s video call request as you sit on the bed. Tears fall down your face as you wait for your phone to load. You smile when you see him, wiping away tears. “Is Loki with you?”

“Not in this room,” you answer, shaking your head. You quickly switch your camera to quickly show Bucky the room, proving you are alone and that Loki isn’t coercing you into anything. Once you prove that you’re alone, you switch back to your selfie camera.

“I need you to stay on the phone as long as you can so that we can trace you.”

“You can’t,” you tell him glumly. “I don’t know how, but Loki did something to stop you from tracing me. Supposedly, he has been looking for a way for me to talk to y’all without you tracking me, because he claims he wants me to be happy and that means I need to talk to people I trust.”

“How could he do that?”

“Didn’t say, and I didn’t ask. Loki probably wouldn’t tell me because he knows then I’d tell you.” You sigh, kicking shoes off your feet and crossing your legs on the bed. “He keeps telling me over and over that I can ask him questions and that he’ll answer them, but half the time he just says he can’t tell me.” 

“I’m not surprised. What can you do with your phone now?”

“Calling, obviously, and I can text. That’s all I’ve checked so far. But Loki said it was only for the people on my ‘favorite contacts’ list, so that’s pretty much just you guys. And this should be a lasting thing?”

“That’s good. Now you can talk to people who aren’t trying to manipulate you.”

“Yep,” you say, drawing the word out. “But this is only more confusing. I mean, if he is trying to manipulate me or whatever, isn’t isolation the best way to do that? Because then he’s the only one talking to me, and I’m just that much more dependent on him, right?"

"That's what I would think too. Who knows what's going through his head?" Bucky looks away from his camera with a sigh. "I tried to trace you. Want to guess what I got?"

"Uh, no existing IP address?”

“No, millions of them all at once, everywhere from the Compound to Antarctica.”

“Not very helpful.” You lean your head back against the wall, sighing. You pull the bottle out of your pocket, pills shaking. “Off topic, but can you have F.R.I.D.A.Y. look up a drug for me?” You read the information from the bottle for him, and F.R.I.D.A.Y. answers your questions. Which eases your typical drug-related fear. But, given the source of these pills, it isn’t irrational to be more worried than usual. 

“Why do you have melatonin?”

“I’ve barely been able to sleep pretty much the entire time I’ve been here. And that is very concerning for Loki, supposedly. Actually, he did tell me something pretty interesting. Apparently he is friends with some doctor? He told me he knew a doctor a couple days ago and asked if he could talk about my sleep issues with him, and then gave me the medication this guy recommended. So, if there’s any weird doctors with shady business partners, maybe look into that?”

“Doctor friend, that could give us a lead,” Bucky says. “You said before you were having nightmares.”

“Yeah, every time I sleep. Which explains why I’m not getting enough sleep.”

“Are they nightmares about-”

“Some of them,” you answer, cutting Bucky off before he can mention him . “At first, that was fairly common. Now, it hardly happens. I don’t remember when I last dreamt of him . Now I just get different genres of Loki nightmares. Anything horrible you can think of that Loki could do to me, I’ve probably had at least one nightmare about it. Even really stupid things. The amount of times there is something involving crappy movies is kind of weird. I’ll be having a nightmare where Loki is brutally torturing me, and then Jaws 4 is in the background.”

“I will assume that is terrifying, even though I have never seen that movie because Tony has it banned in the Compound,” Bucky responds jokingly.

“You aren’t missing out.” 

"But seriously, I am here for you if you want to talk about them or anything else."

"I know, thank you." 

"And you can keep using Venge to-"

"Loki knows about that," you say, cutting Bucky off.

"How?"  

"He took my phone just now and didn't say why. It was to make this happen, but I didn't know that. So I assumed that he knew I had talked to y'all but was looking for how. I asked him how he found out because I thought that was the only possible reason why he could be looking at my phone. But he didn't know anything."

"How did he react?"

"He was happy about it? I think? And not just because he wants me to talk to you guys anyway. He said he was impressed and congratulated me?"

"That's weird." Bucky leans back in his chair. "So, this is the bedroom he gave you?"

"Yeah. Loki doesn't really come in here. Only to wake me up from nightmares, but he leaves once I'm awake. He's carried me to bed sometimes if I fall asleep somewhere else, but not that often."

"What about the rest of the house?”

“I can go almost everywhere whenever I want. Everywhere but Loki’s room.”

“Can you show me?”

“I will, just not now,” you answer quietly, glancing at the door as if Loki is about to walk through it at any second. “Loki leaves frequently, and he always tells me before he leaves and when he’ll be back. I’ll show you next time he’s gone, I just don’t want to do that while he is here.”

“That’s alright, call me when you get the chance. I’m trying to find any clues for where you are, but your safety is my biggest concern.”

“But there is something I can show you,” you say, standing up and walking to the window. You switch to the other camera and point it outside. “It is snowing. And, I mean, it snows this late in the year in a lot of places. But I’ll keep you posted on this. Because if I’m still here in late May and it’s snowing, that might give you more of an idea. And I’ll check the sunset and sunrise times. That’ll let us know which hemisphere I’m in.”

“We can work with that. What time is it?”

“3:30.”

“That narrows this down some more. You’re in a different time zone.”

“I’m also somewhere suburban. But all of this doesn’t narrow it down much, does it?”

“Not even to one country.”

You are about to sit on the window sill when you hear scratching at the carpet outside the door. “One moment,” you mutter, setting your phone on the window sill. You open the door for Shadow to come in. She meows in greeting, rubbing against your leg. You lock the door again and walk back to the window sill, Shadow at your heel. When you sit down, Shadow jumps up onto your lap and curls up. You point your camera at her. “This is Shadow. I found her outside a while ago, freezing. I begged Loki to help her, and she’s been here ever since.”

“Aw, she’s cute!” Bucky says, voice a higher pitch as you switch to your selfie camera. “New plan: we take her with us when we rescue you.”

“Excellent idea. But she will demand attention. I can’t sleep with my door locked anymore. When she wants to come in, she scratches at the carpet until someone lets her in. But she’s a sweetheart.” You run your hand along Shadow’s back as you try to script what you’ll say next. “I know that you’re trying to find me and rescue me, and I appreciate that. I want to be rescued. But please be careful. I would never forgive myself if any of you got hurt. And Loki did kinda threaten to drag civilians in if you guys try to find me.”

“We will be, I promise. Right now, there’s not much we can do other than wait and try to figure out what is happening from what we know.”

Chapter Text

Coulson’s POV

“How’re you feeling?” Coulson asks when he walks into Mack’s office. Coulson was acting director while Mack recovered from an injury. For a while, Mack would go on some missions when he could, but his doctor didn’t want him to take the full responsibilities of director until now. 

“A lot better now that I can actually get to work. Things ran smoothly?”

“As much as S.H.I.E.L.D. can,” Coulson answers. Yes, but also very much no. “I got you up to speed on everything that’s happened already.”

“I know, but I wanted to talk to you about this Avengers stuff,” Mack says, skimming through the files Natasha sent. “You’re the only one of us that’s been with Loki. Do you think that he could be connected to our Watchdog problem?”

“It’s a possibility,” Coulson answers. “He could be the hooded man. When Loki walked through the Tesseract’s portal, he tore through our tactical teams without a scratch. And I know very well that he has a thing for stabbing. He is capable of doing what’s happened to those warehouses. At the same time, he could be the one the Watchdogs are hunting. The Watchdogs first formed in response to the Battle of New York. Loki’s made himself a lot of enemies, and not all of them are good people. It’s been almost ten years since New York, and no one can keep him in captivity for more than a year. The guy we have downstairs says he's been waiting for this to be done. Watchdogs very well could be plotting to kill him.”

“How would you fit [L/N] in?” Mack asks. “Does she have anything to do with this?”

“Maybe, maybe not. Loki could have his own motives with her, anything as simple as leverage. She could be targeted by the Watchdogs, specifically or grouped in with the Avengers. Or Loki and [L/N] could both be targets." 

"But these are just theories. There's no evidence of a connection," Mack points out. "But if Loki's supposedly protecting her, we have to keep an eye on that situation. He might be lying, he might not be."

Coulson nods. "What's Hunter going to tell Romanoff?"

"Depends on your next answer. Are you alright with the Avengers finding out about you?" 

Coulson sighs. "Originally, they didn't know because none of them had the clearance. That and it might have blown up in Fury's face if they found out the guy they avenged has actually been alive. No one knew about T.A.H.I.T.I., they would've thought I went into cardiac arrest but was saved. Then S.H.I.E.L.D. fell apart and we've been operating illegally a good amount of the time since then. Not exactly a good time to let them know. But now that we might have to work with them, they'll need someone to trust. If we need to, we can let them know."

Mack nods. "One more question. After Loki stabbed you, you told him he 'lacked conviction.' Were you stalling, or did you really believe that? Do you still believe it?"

"I tend to be a good judge of character. I'm not always right, so don't put all of your faith in this. But something wasn't right about him. Didn't seem like he really wanted to rule. He's skilled with his words and was able to manipulate conversations in his favor. Like he was hiding his true desires. It's why he lost. He wasn't fighting with his all. I don't know why he would invade if he didn't want to. But I still think I was right."

"What about now?"

"I haven't seen him for years. Really can't say."

Your POV
Day Thirty Six

You don’t want to get out of bed. You’re lying on your stomach, arms wrapped around the pillow almost like you are sleeping on a desk. It’s awfully comfortable. Between the hoodie you’re wearing and the blankets on top of you, you are the perfect warm temperature for bed. Sunlight slowly creeps between the curtains as the sun slowly rises. There is something about feeling well rested but staying in bed for a while. 

It has been five days since you have started using melatonin, and it has done wonders. The nightmares haven’t gone away, but instead of being impossibly alert after them, the drug is strong enough to keep you tired enough to sleep until morning. Now that you can get eight or more hours of sleep a night, your body is starting to function again. Things you didn’t even notice were off about you are starting to go back to normal. Obviously, there will still be problems. Stress causes those, and this environment is the opposite of stress-free. But sleep will save you from so many problems you have had. 

After some time of soaking in the comfort of the bed, you get up to shower. That’s another benefit of sleep. It is much easier to keep a steady routine if you go to bed and wake up at the same time almost every day. After your shower, you get dressed in jeans, a band shirt, and an unbuttoned flannel. Then after a moment to gather your courage, you leave the bedroom to grab some breakfast. The homeostasis spell is still in effect, but you do try to at least have breakfast everyday. You don’t want to get out of here and have to relearn how to eat regularly. If you can keep a habit here, and only need the spell in case you lose track of time, that will help you out in the long run. 

You are nervous about actually cooking in Loki’s kitchen, so all of your meals have had minimal effort. Loki apparently keeps track of what food you use, because it never runs out. There’s always some of the foods you use the most. You spread cream cheese on a bagel while you wait for your water to heat up in the microwave for your hot chocolate. After mixing the powder into the water, you sit down in the breakfast nook and eat. Normally, you can get back to your room before Loki finds you. Sometimes, your nerves are worse than usual, and you can’t stand the idea of seeing him, but you have always been able to go back to the pseudo-safety of the bedroom before anything happens. Luckily, you are feeling more relaxed today. 

You stiffen when you hear the doorbell ring. On the other side of the door is someone that could help. If they see you, and more importantly recognize you, they could send your location to the other Avengers. But if they see you while Loki is there, heaven knows what he'll do. Before you can make any decision, Loki walks in. He goes straight to the door, a brief 'good morning' as he passes you. With a wave of his hand in front of the door, it becomes transparent. Well, you assume it only affects this side of the door. A man with a scarlet scarf is on the other side. 

You're expecting Loki to ignore the man while ensuring you don't answer the door or to ask you to leave. When he does neither, it leaves you confused. He opens the door with a smile and greets the man.

"To what do I owe the pleasure, Stephen?" You watch from your seat as the man, Stephen apparently, walks inside, Loki closing the door behind him. 

Stephen hands Loki a piece of paper. "Guess we'll find out." Loki examines the paper before making it disappear. 

Both of them turn to you. You edge away under their gaze. "[Y/N], this is Stephen. We’ve been working together. He’s also the doctor I told you about,” Loki says. Stephen gives you a warm and apologetic smile. You nod warily from your seat. Loki turns back to Stephen. "I need to grab something. Would you wait here?" Loki leaves the room after Stephen nods. 

The instant Loki is out, Stephen speed walks to you. You tense as he approaches. He must see this, because he slows down, and keeps some distance between you and him. “Sorry to scare you. Has he hurt you?” Stephen asks quietly, looking behind his shoulder. You shake your head. 

He must not trust Loki if he’s asking me that. Is he here to help me? Before you can whisper any questions, Stephen methodically moves his hands in front of his chest. An intricate necklace appears around his neck, and a few more gestures make the charm move to reveal a glowing green gem. He hovers his right hand over his wrist, slowly turning his hand around his wrist, creating a green band. Before you can ask what he is doing, Stephen moves his hands to face you, and you feel an odd vibrating sensation for a second. 

“Sorry, didn’t have time to explain. This is the Eye of Agamotto, and its center is the Time Stone. I can manipulate time with this. Look.” Stephen points to the window, where you can see a bird in midair, completely motionless, wings halfway flapped. 

“You stopped time?”

“No, I changed how we experience time. Basically, we’re going faster than everything else. Fast enough that it looks like time stopped. I needed a way to speak to you without Loki prying.”

You nod, starting to get excited. He must be here to help me! “Are you a sorcerer too?”

“Yes, but Loki and I use different forms of magic,” Stephen explains as he steps away from you, examining the front door. “He’s got quite the number of enchantments here.”

“What for?” you ask. Loki hasn’t mentioned anything about the spells on the property. You know they’re there. You’ve seen the force field, and nothing can see you it seems. But you don’t know any specifics. If he’s examining those, he’s got to be trying to get me out of here, right?

“To keep you in and threats out. Hide you from others. Very complex and very powerful. But every good spell has a loophole or two.” Stephen whips his scarf off, and it transforms into a cape in front of your eyes. “This is my most trusted friend, the Cloak of Levitation. He’s sentient. Can you wear him, in case something goes wrong? He’ll get you to safety.” 

“Okay?” you answer, not having quite enough time to process all of this magic stuff as Stephen says it. The Cloak flies to you and sets itself on your shoulders. It wraps itself around you, almost restraining you. “Does it, I mean he normally do this?”

“Cloak’s trying to comfort you. He can get a gist of his wearer’s emotions.” Stephen continues as he uses magic to change into blue robes (a sorcerer thing?) and examines the enchantments. “He’s terribly sweet. Just be glad you aren’t hungry. He’d probably drag you to the fridge and force you to eat. That’s what he does to me.” 

Stephen pauses and flicks his wrist. It’s almost like a wall of glass shards appears. “You might be able to temporarily leave in the mirror dimension. It’s a realm that looks like a mirror of ours, but it is much easier to manipulate." 

Temporary? Your heart sinks a little, but at least there's someone trying to help you. Stephen holds his hand out for you, and Cloak stops 'hugging' you. You take his hand and feel the scars on the back of his hand and how his hand trembles. You and Stephen walk through the wall of mirrors together. It feels like your body is bending for a moment as you hear the wall shatter around you. Your grip on Stephen’s hand tightens as you walk through. Once you walk through the glass, it disappears, leaving you and Stephen a foot away from where you started, but apparently in a new dimension.

You feel almost floaty as you look around. Everything’s the same other than some reflective lines that appear at random. Stephen lets go of your hand and starts up his hand gestures again. “In the mirror dimension, I can alter reality,” Stephen explains. You look around as the floor shifts underneath you and Stephen to create complex designs. “If you’re still standing on this floor, technically you haven’t left.”

“Where are you taking me?” you ask, watching as the entire house starts to shift, leaving only the spot you are on the same. 

“My home. I’ll show you what I know there. Cloak is going to help you stay steady. Some people get lightheaded their first few times in the mirror dimension.”

“And I have to stay on this patch of floor,” you continue, understanding what he’s meaning. You are a little off right now, but not enough to deem yourself lightheaded. 

Stephen lifts his arms up and waves them in a circle above his head, and orange lines appear where his hands are, sparks coming out of them. The lines shoot up around you and him, and the room around you starts to disappear and be replaced with dark woods and a large open space. Slowly, the floor replaces itself, using the floor from Loki’s place, giving you the ability to move around. 

You walk towards a large window as it appears. It’s circular with an interesting design on it. You look through the window, wondering if you’ll see outside Loki’s or outside Stephen’s. “Is this New York?” you ask as you see the street outside.

“Yep,” Stephen confirms. “Feel free to drop by once Loki doesn’t have you locked away.” He walks to a chest on display not far from you, and you follow. “This is the Sanctum Sanctorum. My order keeps lots of magic relics here, such as this one. See what’s inside of this one.” 

You hesitantly lift the lid up, not sure what to expect. When you look in, you tilt your head in confusion. “Nothing.” You set the lid down and look back at Stephen. 

Stephen opens the lid and reaches in and grabs something. A piece of paper. “The Holder of Secrets. If you put something in, only you can get it out.” Stephen looks in one last time before setting the lid down. “You might want to sit down. What I’m going to tell you is crazy. I didn’t believe it at first.”

Stephen leads you to a couple of chairs nearby and you both sit, you crossing your ankles. “The Eye of Agamotto can do many things. I can use it to look forward to possible timelines. But this is not the only way to get a glimpse of the future. Loki has found a way, and he is set on influencing the timeline. And you are important for this.”

“Why?” 

“There is a potential that something terrible will happen, and Loki won’t allow it. He’s been using his method to find what is most likely to happen. That’s why he came to me, to ask me to find other ways things could play out. I agreed to help him change the future, but I don’t agree with how he’s doing it. I would never have chosen to capture you. I can see why he did, but it’s inexcusable. Even still, I haven’t found another way after searching through billions of possibilities.”

You swallow, a heavy feeling setting in your heart. “Stephen, I’m not the reason for the apocalypse or whatever’s gonna happen, am I?”

“No, that isn’t why Loki captured you. But I can’t say more than that.” 

“What do you mean?”

“Screwing with time is dangerous. I’ve already risked a lot telling you this much. The less you know, the safer you’ll be. Even with the little I told you, it has enormous risks. I only knew I was able to because of this,” Stephen hands you the paper. It’s a drawing of you and him sitting on chairs, the very same ones you currently sit on. The drawing of you is looking at a piece of paper, ankles crossed. “The ‘method’ I said Loki has, it isn’t a relic. He found an Inhuman that can see the future. She draws what she sees. She drew this today and told me I would show it to you in a few hours.”

“This is so weird.” You hand the drawing back to Stephen. “So you, me, Loki, and this Inhuman are the only ones that know?” 

“Yes. And the difficult part about influencing the timeline is other people. Every single person makes thousands of decisions a day, and we can’t control that. At the same time, when people know their future, it tends to become a self-fulfilling prophecy.”

“Are you saying I need to keep this a secret? The only thing that has given me any hope since Loki threw me into this nightmare is that I can talk to my friends! If they know what’s going on with me, they’ll be able to help me out of this!”

“Everything I’ve told you, you can tell them. I was told to tell you that your friends need to know too. I looked through more possibilities, and this is setting everyone up for success. But neither you nor your friends can know any more.” 

You nod, feeling slightly relieved. “Thanks for telling me. Loki never really told me anything at all.”

“That’s because, from what he knew, you couldn’t know. This drawing was only made a few hours ago. And, apparently, you needed to be told by me instead.” Stephen pauses, setting his jaw. “If Loki ever harms you, let me know. It’s one thing to capture you. Heck to the timeline, I can’t let you stay in his clutches if he hurts you. I’ll bring you to Kamar Taj, where the full might of my order will protect you.”

“Do you really think he’d hurt me? I’m guessing he’s promised you a thousand times that I’m safe or whatever.” 

“As far as I’ve seen, he won’t. But there’s infinite possibilities, and we don’t truly know what will happen. And while he has a captive, I can’t fully trust him, even while watching over and over again what he will do in the future.” Stephen sighs and stands. “I should probably take you back.” Stephen stops. “One moment. I sensed someone coming in.”

“Is that bad?” 

“Probably not. But just in case, let me check.” Stephen walks away, leaving you alone with Cloak. You turn away from the direction Stephen went and grab onto the edges of Cloak.

“Can I have another hug?” you whisper. Cloak responds immediately, wrapping tight around you. “Thank you. This has just been a lot. And I thought Stephen was going to break me out now.” As you whisper to Cloak, a couple tears roll down your cheeks. Cloak’s collar lifts up and wipes them away. “Stephen was right when he said you’re sweet.” 

“Just a minor inconvenience,” Stephen says with a sigh as he walks back. “There’s this sorceress that can’t seem to take a hint. Came to visit again, this time with a cupcake, yay.” Stephen rolls his eyes. “In the amount of time we’ve been here, she finally has been able to lower her foot by a centimeter and step foot inside the Sanctum.” 

“Sounds annoying,” you respond with plenty of sympathy. 

“It is. Won’t be returning here for another hour to stay away from her. Ready to go back?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be.” Stephen drops the drawing back into the Holder of Secrets before slipping a ring from his belt onto his fingers. He holds his hands up, his right hand waving in a circle in front of him. An orange sparky line appears again, this time creating a portal back to Loki’s kitchen. After a reassuring look from Stephen, you step through, and he follows you. He closes the portal after he walks through, and Cloak lifts off of you and returns to his shoulders. 

“We’re out of the mirror dimension. Ready for me to bring time back to normal?” You nod, and Stephen moves his hand around his wrist, slowly dismantling the green loop.

Chapter Text

Your POV
Day Thirty Six

You glance at the window, seeing the bird from before fly like normal, confirming that time now operates normally for you and Stephen. Before you can say anything, you hear Loki’s faint footsteps coming back. You freeze, staring at the door Loki will soon walk through, hands shaking at your sides. He won’t like that I know .

“[Y/N],” Stephen starts softly, pulling your attention away from the doorway. The Cloak, still resting on your shoulders, wraps himself around you in a warm hug. “Don’t worry about his reaction. He’ll understand.”

“Darling, you need not fear my wrath,” Loki says from the doorway, apparently hearing Stephen’s comforting words. He slowly approaches you, stopping a foot away from Stephen, giving you space. “No harm will come to you here.” 

“Would you feel better if I told him?” Stephen asks. Does he have to know? At the same time, you know that Loki will find out one way or another, and now that you know more about what is happening, he may tell you more later. You give Stephen a nod. “Robin showed me telling [Y/N] a small portion of what is happening and [Y/N] relaying that information to the Avengers.”

Loki nods and smiles warmly. “I’ve waited for so long to tell you. May I ask what specifically you know?”

Help , you think as you look to Stephen, who soon answers Loki’s question for you. “I told her about the Eye of Agamotto and Robin. You want to stop something terrible, and that is why you brought her here. She isn’t the cause for the terrible event, but what happens now is necessary in deciding the future. But we cannot reveal too much. What I told her, the Avengers too must know.”

Relief was the last thing you expected Loki to feel now that you know a tiny bit more about what is happening. But that is what you see shining through his eyes as he smiles at you. “It must be somewhat relieving to know a portion of this madness, isn’t it?” You nod, despite feeling much more relief from Loki’s positive reaction. “As time goes on, I shall be able to reveal more and more of what lies ahead to you.”

“You, you want me to know?” you whisper, looking down at your feet. Even without looking, you can feel Loki and Stephen watching you, looming over you as you sink against yourself. 

“I would have explained every little detail long ago if I were able to. You would have known everything as well as I do. But instead, I must wait for small windows of opportunity that don’t come nearly often enough for my liking,” Loki confesses. “You deserve much better than this. You deserve to know all that I know. And for that I can never apologize enough.”

“Can I ask you about it?” you mutter. 

“Of course, dearest. We may not always be able to answer, but I will never forbid questions.”

“We?”

“I am more than happy to answer your questions, if I may,” Stephen answers, his smile conveying nothing but support for you. 

“Stephen is always welcome here,” Loki explains. Thank heavens, someone other than Loki!  

“Thanks,” Stephen responds, seeming a little taken aback by Loki’s statement. 

“If you ever need somewhere to stay, you need only spin yourself a portal here,” Loki affirms. That’s a pretty massive sign of trust from him, isn’t it? you think, watching the two men in front of you before you can ask an obvious question. 

“You can make portals?” you ask timidly. “Not just the one you made when we, we were in-” You cut yourself off, realizing Stephen never told Loki about going into the mirror dimension and showing you the Sanctum Sanctorum. 

“In the mirror dimension?” Stephen finishes for you. You nod, glancing nervously at Loki for a reaction. He doesn’t react to Stephen mentioning the mirror dimension. “I can. My order of sorcerers use sling rings to create portals,” Stephen explains, handing you a gold ring that goes on two fingers. Small, round designs are etched into the ring. You hand the sling ring back to Stephen, who slips it onto his left hand. He holds both hands up, his right hand moving in a circular motion. The same golden-orange sparks from before flicker before your eyes, and in between them you can see where you sat with Stephen in the Sanctum. You stare wide-eyed at the portal in front of you. With the final spin of his hand, the portal closes. 

“Do you have to know what the place you’re going to looks like?” you ask, that being the first question of many your mind can formulate. 

“Yes. It works best if I’ve been there before, but sometimes a detailed description will work.” 

“So there’s a bunch of people like you?” you ask, both out of genuine curiosity and because any information you can get might be helpful in the future.

“A few hundred or so.”

“What do you do?”

“While you Avengers fight physical threats, we sorcerers protect the world from mystic threats. I protect a Sanctum in New York, and there are two more in Hong Kong and London. Those three create a shield that prevents most threats from entering this world. We promptly handle whatever slips through. Most of us are at Kamar Taj, a hidden sanctuary where we all learned our sorcery.” Stephen continues answering your questions with a calm voice, explaining everything to the best of his ability. Loki must have slipped away at some point, because eventually you realize he is no longer standing near you. 

“So, if no one knows about Kamar Taj and the Sanctums, how did Loki find you?”

“He had met Robin already, and she led him to me. Well, more specifically, the Eye,” Stephen answers. “This wasn’t long ago. It’s been since you arrived here. One day he showed up at the Sanctum with a large selection of Robin’s drawings, proposing that we work together. I didn’t believe him at first, but after studying the Eye, I knew he wasn’t lying. And since then I’ve had a few wild weeks.”

“I’m sure it has been,” you say with a sigh, sitting on one of the barstools, the Cloak fluttering around you so that you don’t sit on it by accident. It gently falls back against you, continuing its hug. “You don’t happen to know when he’ll free me?”

“No, I do not,” Stephen responds sadly, sitting on the stool next to yours. “We’re looking for an ideal timeline to try to replicate, so I can’t tell you anything for certain. But it seems like you will be trapped here for quite some time. I’m sorry.”

“It, it isn’t your fault. It’s not like you can get me out of here when Loki uses his spells to keep me locked up here. You’ve already done so much for me. Everything makes so much more sense because of you, and I feel so much safer knowing that there’s someone other than Loki who can come here and who is trying to help me. I can’t thank you enough, Stephen.”

“Please, you don’t need to thank me,” Stephen insists. “How have you slept? Has the melatonin helped at all?”

“Yeah, I’ve actually been sleeping pretty well,” you tell him. “Thank you for that too.”

“Don’t mention it, I’m glad I could help. That isn’t my field of expertise, but there was a time when I wanted to study sleep therapy. But in the end, I chose to study the physical over the psychological and became a neurosurgeon. I’m glad things are working well now. Otherwise it might have gotten a touch more complicated, what with Loki seeking out a medical professional.”

“Yeah, I wouldn’t want to force that on some random doctor,” you say with an unamused laugh. 

“As much as I have enjoyed talking with you, I do need to get back to the Sanctum. Which means I need Loki for a moment. Asgardian magic is different from Kamar Taj’s sorcery and I ran into something Asgardian. I could try to handle it on my own, or I could ask the Asgardian I know for some help.”

“Oh, I’m sorry! I didn’t know you had something to do here other than tell me what was happening!”

“Don’t worry, it can wait. Your wellbeing is much more urgent. I had to come to talk to you anyway, so I figured I’d talk to Loki while I was here. I’ll talk to him before I say my goodbyes.” You nod as Stephen stands and walks into the hallway.

Loki’s POV

“She likes you,” Loki says when Stephen steps onto the backyard porch. “I think she’s spoken to you more now than she has to me all these weeks.”

“I told her the truth. She feels better knowing there’s someone who doesn’t like that she’s here either,” Stephen responds. This has been a point of contention since the two of them met, but Stephen knows that it has to happen. 

“I don’t like it either. I would never have placed a finger on her if it weren’t necessary. But that isn’t how she sees it.” Loki hands Stephen a leatherbound book. “This should help you. Folded up inside are instructions for a spell to help you read the language.”

“Thank you. I’ll be back with this when I’m done.” 

“[Y/N] will look forward to it. May I ask a favor?”

“What is it?”

“[Y/N] doesn’t normally ask me for help, not unless it’s serious. I’ve told her countless times that I will help her with anything. I want her stay to be comfortable, afterall. But I don’t think she feels safe asking me for anything. She trusts you much more than she does me. Would you ask her if there’s anything she needs or wants that you can bring back?”

Stephen nods. “I’ll ask.”

“Thank you. For all that you’ve done to help her.” 

Bucky’s POV

“I don’t really know what I expected, but it wasn’t all that,” Bucky admits. [Y/N] has just finished telling him all about what happened when a man named Stephen visited her and Loki. The two of them video call at least once a day. “I feel a lot better knowing there’s someone on our side with you though. Do you know if you’ll see him again?”

“Yeah, he borrowed something from Loki and said he’ll be back in a couple days to return it. He asked me if there was anything from the outside world that I wanted too. I’ll hopefully be getting earbuds in the next couple days then.”

“Sounds exciting. But there really was nothing else he or Loki told you?”

“I told you all I know. Which isn’t much, but still a lot more than we knew before.”

“We have a motive now, or at least part of one. We don’t actually know what the terrible thing he wants to stop is. There is the chance it’s only terrible in his eyes. We know about the time stuff, kinda. We know that Loki is working with a kid, which has me concerned. We have no idea where she is and if she can leave or not. And we know about these sorcerers we had never heard of before,” Bucky reasons. “There’s still a lot to go, but you learned a lot today. Because of you, we have a chance now, and Robin has a chance of getting somewhere safe. Thank you, [Y/N].”

“I didn’t really do anyth-”

“[Y/N], please don’t talk down about yourself,” Bucky says sternly before smiling, not quite able to hide his sadness. “Otherwise, how are you doing?”

“All things considered, I’m fine, I guess. Things could be a lot worse. What about you?”

“Don’t worry about me, I’m not the one captured by an evil god.”

“Too bad. I’m going to worry about you whether you like it or not.”

“I’ll be better when you’re safe,” Bucky promises. 

“And, knowing you, that will be as soon as possible.”

Chapter Text

Your POV
Day Thirty Seven

“Very good,” Loki tells you with a smile. He had asked you earlier if he could continue training you. It has been twenty nine days since your last lesson, which was cut short when you collapsed from your fever. Now that you’ve gained back your strength after the fever and the lack of sleep, Loki wants to continue teaching you. After reteaching everything from before (the whole passing out thing made it difficult for you to remember everything from before), Loki began showing you how to hold your body in a fight. Where to plant your feet, what to do with your hips, what your arms should be doing, etc. After every demonstration of what to do, you have tried to copy him. If necessary, Loki corrects you. 

You nod, never knowing how to react to Loki’s praise. “What next?”

“This is how your arms will start, let’s focus on what they do next.” You nod, watching Loki carefully as he goes into the same position as you and holds his training blade. “The grip you use will determine what you do next. Let’s start with a reverse grip.” You hurry to flip the blade around in your hand. “Let’s do a downward motion, like this.” You observe as Loki demonstrates this stabbing motion before trying it yourself. “Keep your wrist straight, darling. That will keep your blade steady.”

You nod before trying again, focusing on keeping your wrist straight. “Well done, dearest. Well done.” You look down, trying to avoid eye contact. “That’s enough for now. You’ve learned a lot today, and I don’t want to overwhelm you.” You nod, moving to stand as you normally do. Well, normally do when in Loki’s custody. Timid, shoulders hunched, eyes on the floor, hands trembling. You hand Loki your training blade, which he puts in the box with the other equipment. 

“You’ve done very well today, my darling,” Loki praises as he closes the box. “This isn’t to be taken lightly. This is a difficult skill to learn. Take pride in yourself.”

You nod, not sure of what you are supposed to do now, wondering if now is an appropriate time to ask your question. After a moment of consideration, you finally decide to bite the bullet. "L-Loki?"

"Yes, dearest?"

You fold your arms, trying to hide your shaking hands. “You, you never sh-showed me around the, the rest of the base-basement. Am, am I allowed in, in the other rooms?”

Loki’s soft smile is tinged with something after asking that. Regret, perhaps. You can’t say for certain. “Of course you are, darling. My apologies, I should have clarified long ago. Must have slipped from my mind after you collapsed. Would you allow me to remedy this? May I finish showing you around?”

“Thank you,” you whisper after nodding. You didn’t necessarily want Loki to show you around, only to know if you could or couldn’t go in the other rooms down the hall. But perhaps there’s other information you should know that he’ll tell you. 

“After you,” Loki says as he opens the door for you. You nod your thanks as you walk into the hallway, looking down at the four doors in front of you. You walk alongside Loki down the hall, stopping in a few feet, Loki pulling the door open. "The pantry. I haven't found much use for it, but you are welcome to use this however you please. I'll bring things for in here if you'd like." 

After you nod, Loki closes the door and leads you to the next room. "Laundry, water heater, and the like in here. I'm assuming you noticed the enchantments on your clothes?" You nod. Weeks ago, you had planned on asking Loki about laundry, just to find the clothes from the day before cleaned and put away. At first you had assumed Loki had come into the room while you slept, but you slowly began to lean towards the theory that it was some sort of spell instead. He did insist that he wouldn't enter unless necessary or with your permission, and after some experimentation you found that the clothes only ended up clean if they were put in the hamper. "Makes this room almost meaningless for us, doesn't it? But, as I told you, you're welcome to use this if you ever find the need."

"I didn't buy the house, I'm only borrowing it. The owner shoved all of her stuff in here when she let me stay. There's still room for some storage if we ever need it though." You nod. All these rooms aren't anything I'd really use ever. Glad to know there hasn't been anything important that I needed. But how on Earth did Loki get this place? Is he freaking paying rent? What the heck?

Loki doesn't open the final door. Unlike the other wood or drywall doors, this one is steel, and you recognize it. You know exactly which room this is. "We don't have to go in if you don't want to," Loki tells you, voice soft and gentle. "It's where you were tied down."

You can feel Loki watching you, gauging your reaction. For a moment you stand there, silent. You don't have a single good memory from there. And yet, in some ways you miss your time there. You've refused to acknowledge that for weeks, but now that you are standing in front of this godforsaken room, you're forced to process everything. 

And, of course, you just have to find the most self-destructive way possible to process everything.

Before you fully realize what you are doing, you open the door and walk inside. The room is almost exactly how you remember from the day Loki untied you. The only difference is a thin layer of dust on the furniture. You stop next to the chair you were bound to. You slowly set your hand on the top of the back, like the chair will disappear if disturbed. You stand there for a few seconds, doing your best to ignore Loki. He walked inside after you, but kept his distance. But he watches you like a hawk, studying your reaction. 

You fold your arms again, facing away from Loki as you feel your eyes water. “In some ways, it was almost easier before,” you whisper to yourself.

“How so?”

Your heart stops. You didn’t realize Loki could hear you. He was so far away, it never occurred to you. You whip around to face him, hearing your heart more than anything else. You start to back away from him, tripping on the chair. You fall to the floor, quickly recovering enough to push yourself backwards. “I, I didn’t mean, please, I, I’m grateful for what you’ve done,-" your back hits the wall behind you and you pull your knees to your chest, "-allowing me around the house, please, don’t tie me-”

“Dearest, I won't bind you again." You press yourself against the wall as much as you can as Loki steps forward, heart pounding. He stops a few feet away from you and crouches down. "I am terribly sorry for scaring you. I promise you, I will never restrain you in any manner.” 

Give me one reason why I should believe you , you think bitterly. 

“This must have been an awful scare, darling. Shall we leave this wretched room? Would that help relieve some worry?”

Yes. No. I don’t know. You wipe your sleeve across your face, wiping away tears, shrugging your shoulders.

“Very well. How can I help?” Why do you do this to me? Why are you so hellbent on manipulating me?  

"Please stop," you whisper, shaking your head.

"Doing what?" 

"All of this. You aren't treating me like a prisoner, and it's confusing. Everything around me is too much. One second I'm reading one of the dozen books you've allowed me to read, wrapped in one of the softest blankets I've seen, the next you're calling me pet names and asking if I need anything, then you're gone and I'm alone again and it's been a month of this and I don't know why you're doing this and every day only brings more questions and everything comes crashing down on me again and nothing makes sense and I don't even know where to start and I just want something, anything, to make sense, and now I'm not making sense but I want something to change or for me to understand things better but how is that supposed to happen?" you ramble.

"[Y/N], can you take some deep breaths? I want to help you, but may I ask for some clarification?" Loki starts, gentle as always.

You nod after a moment, eying Loki carefully.

“My kindness is confusing because you’re my captive?” You nod. “Overwhelming?” Another nod. “Do you worry that you may stop perceiving me as your captor?” After a moment of hesitation you nod again. Stockholm Syndrome is a reasonable fear in your situation, but it may not be the most wise decision to reveal that to Loki. “This proves to be quite the predicament. I refuse to act like a typical captor.”

“What?” you ask, hardly hearing your own voice. Clearly, Loki must have fantastic hearing though, having heard all of your whispers. 

“I will treat you with dignity and respect, regardless of anything that happens. I see how that may be confusing for you. I too have feared my perception of those that have hurt me. But this does leave me wondering how to proceed. Any suggestions?”

You shake your head. "It, it's not that I don't like that you allow me to do my own thing. I'm very grateful for that."

"But it also scares you," Loki finishes, deep in thought. "Is there anything I do that you don't like?" After a moment you slowly nod. "Dearest, please, tell me," he says with a frown, moving from his crouching position to sit cross-legged. 

You scoot your feet closer to you, fingers trembling against the wall. "You, you talk to me a lot. And I know, it’s necessary, but it makes me feel trapped,” you whisper, pressing yourself against the wall. 

“Do you want me to leave?” Loki asks immediately. You nod, lip trembling. In an instant, Loki is on his feet, handing you a key. “That door is temperamental, likes to lock itself.” You slowly take the brass colored key from him, hand shaking. You watch as he walks out of the room, leaving the door wide open. 

You hug your knees, sobbing. You can’t win here. At first, you were tied up and alone, trapped in one room. Clueless to what was happening, confused by Loki’s gentleness, in constant pain from the ropes. Now, you have many freedoms, surrounded by all that Loki has given you. You can communicate with your loved ones, and, for the most part, do as you please. Loki has only treated you better and better with every passing day, better than many have before. But you are still trapped, confined to a house instead of one room. And while you know more than you did, it isn’t enough to understand what is happening. 

Being alone in fear or overwhelmed by everything. Neither is a good choice. You will choose the latter in a heartbeat, at least you can move now. But, in some ways, it’s much harder now.

Loki’s POV

“Darling?” Loki calls as he looks through the slightly opened door into [Y/N]’s room. She isn't there. With a sigh, he starts down the stairs, hoping [Y/N] isn’t still crying in her former prison. He didn’t want to take her inside, afraid of how she would react. Almost immediately, his fears were proven valid when she let herself in. It has been a couple hours since she asked him to leave, and Loki has not seen her since. 

The door is wide open, and [Y/N] is in the same spot Loki left her in, curled up on the tile floor, asleep, shivering slightly. Loki quietly approaches her, bending down next to her. “Let’s get you to bed, dearest,” Loki whispers as he lifts her into his arms. She shifts in his arms ever so slightly as he stands, her head resting in the crook of his neck. 

For the second time, Loki carries her out of this prison and to her bedroom. This time, he doesn't backtrack part way through. Terrified people jump to conclusions, and Loki didn't want [Y/N] overwhelmed, so he chose to take her to the smallest room with the least things to stress over. 

Loki nudges her door open with his shoulder. He sets [Y/N] on her bed, helping her onto her side. Shadow comes up from behind and leaps onto her bed. [Y/N] flinches, her limbs jerking in front of her as Shadow walks to her pillow and lies down. "Shh, it's alright, darling," Loki whispers as he pulls her shoes off and covers her with blankets. [Y/N] slowly relaxes, her breathing deepening. 

Loki turns to her desk and grabs a sticky note and a pen, leaving a note before he walks out.

Chapter Text

Your POV
Day Thirty Eight

How am I going to get through this? you wonder as you lie flat on your back on your bed. Loki must have carried you in your sleep again, obsessed with your comfort as always. No matter what I try, I keep making myself vulnerable to Loki . And he surely is manipulating me . You glance at your phone to see it is 5:00am the next day. Which means you have now been trapped for thirty eight days. In all of this time, you have searched for ways to escape, now with the help of the Avengers, but thus far nothing has worked. Not even another sorcerer was able to find a way to get you out of the house permanently. And every day, Loki is chipping more and more away at you emotionally. How long can I endure?

You get up out of bed and start some stretches before doing the exercises you can without any equipment. While you weren’t sleeping well, you had fallen out of the habit of exercising first thing in the morning, but now you are trying to get back into it. You know you have to stay at your physical peak in order to be ready for anything, and exercise helps mental health. It helps you clear your thoughts every morning and gives you some preparation for what lies in store for every coming day. 

As you exercise, you contemplate your situation. The only way I’ll get out of here is if Loki lets me go. So how do I make that happen? Since it apparently is true that Loki is attempting to stop something, I have to know what it is, but he’s dead set on not telling me. Stephen too. And the others aren’t getting too far on figuring out what it is. So how on Earth am I going to speed things up if I can’t even go into the front yard? You continue thinking as you exercise, trying to come up with some idea you haven’t already tried to get out of here. Afterwards you take a short shower and get dressed, throwing your hair up as always in order to prevent any hair touching. 

When you go to the desk to put your phone in your jeans pocket, you notice the sticky notes on the desk. They both have Loki’s cursive handwriting. The first one says, “ I’ll be leaving now, I’ll be back by 8:00pm .” The second one says, “ I see you are still asleep. You said speaking with me is nerve-wracking. I suppose you do not have to speak with me personally always. 808-627-7831 .”  

Since when does he have a phone? He does seem pretty familiar with human technology, so maybe it’s been awhile. You save the number into your contacts as Loki and text “hi” in case he doesn’t have your number so that he doesn’t have to come and ask. Or did he just barely get a phone? Where is this area code from? You quickly open up Google to see what state uses 808, hoping that Loki doesn’t know enough about phones to think of buying a phone in another state. If he doesn’t, then you know roughly where you are. You quickly type the question in the search bar and frown when the answer pops up. Yeah, we’re not in Hawaii. Well, it was worth a try.

You pocket your phone, grab your bluetooth earbuds Stephen had delivered, and head to the kitchen. The first few days it was terrifying to leave the bedroom, but now you’ve gotten a little used to the fact that Loki can be literally anywhere in the house and that you can’t stay in the bedroom for all eternity. You make yourself a bagel and hot chocolate, your staple ever since your capture, and sit down at the breakfast nook, messing around on your phone and listening to Spotify, trying to think of what you can do to pass the time today. You love reading but you've read a lot lately and need a bit of a break. While scrolling aimlessly on Instagram, you find an account dedicated to recipes. One for cinnamon rolls particularly catches your eye. Does Loki have the ingredients? Loki has been very firm that you can cook, so he shouldn't mind. But perhaps he doesn't have all the ingredients, particularly the yeast. 

After you wash your dishes you look inside the fridge and cupboards and manage to find all of the ingredients. Well, I guess I'm making cinnamon rolls at 7:45 then. You set your Spotify to another playlist and get to work.

Loki's POV

Loki stops close to the doorway when he hears quiet humming. He peers into the kitchen, seeing [Y/N] humming ever so softly and working on some sort of dough. The smell of cinnamon sifts through the air as she coats the flattened dough with some sort of cinnamon mixture. Several wet dishes are on the drying rack, revealing somewhat the complexity of the recipe. Seemingly satisfied with the amount of cinnamon on the dough, [Y/N] begins to roll the dough up into a long, thin strip before using some dental floss to methodically cut the dough into small circles. As she cuts, she begins to sing.

“ The hills are alive with the sound of music
With songs they have sung for a thousand years.
The hills fill my heart with the sound of music;
My heart wants to sing every song it hears. ”

Her voice is gentle as the lyrics leave her tongue. Though she sings with a hushed voice, the passion is evident in her song. 

“ My heart wants to beat like the wings of the birds
That rise from the lake to the trees;
My heart wants to sigh like a chime that flies
From a church on a breeze;
To laugh like a brook when it trips and falls over
Stones on its way;
To sing through the night like a lark who is learning to pray. ”

The lyrics are beautiful, but, given the circumstances, saddening. Poor thing wants to go outside. Not to a yard, but to see the beauty of nature.  

“I go to the hills when my heart is lonely;
I know I will hear what I’ve heard before. 
My heart will be blessed with the sound of music
And I’ll sing once more .”

Her voice continues strong for a few beats with the last note. Her voice is pleasant to listen to, gentle yet firm and passionate. While not a high end opera singer, her voice is lovely. She continues cutting the dough as Loki slowly approaches, apparently not hearing his footsteps.

“Are you in need of any help, darling?” Loki asks after a moment, not wanting to frighten her by appearing suddenly at her side. [Y/N] almost jumps out of her skin before taking out her wireless earbuds and turning to him. She grabs onto the countertop behind her, as close to it as she can be, floss left on top of the remaining dough. “My apologies for frightening you, dearest. May I help you?” 

“N-no, no, the-, there's not much left to do,” [Y/N] responds hurriedly. “I just need to let them rise and then bake them, then make the frosting, which seems simple.”

“Very well. May I clean up after you?” Loki says, referring to the flour covered counter from where [Y/N] rolled out the dough.

“You, you don't have to, I can.”

“Of course, but I would like to,” Loki insists. When [Y/N] doesn't respond but continues staring, he continues. “You have clearly worked much up until now. Why don’t I make this easier for you?”

“Um, okay then,” she says uncertainly before slowly turning around to finish cutting the dough. The cut circles are on a baking pan that she quickly fills and sets aside, covering with a dish towel. She does something with her phone, setting a timer perhaps, before preparing to make the frosting. As she makes the frosting, she steps away from where she rolled out the dough, giving space for Loki. 

Loki steps towards the counter and starts pushing the flour into the trash can [Y/N] had placed on the floor next to the counter. As he does so, [Y/N] works on the frosting, notably more nervous than before. “May I ask what you are making?”

“Cinnamon rolls.” After a moment’s pause, [Y/N] continues. “Do you even know what cinnamon is? Thor said it doesn’t exist on Asgard.” Before Loki can respond, she hurriedly continues. “Of course you do, you’re the one that bought it.”

“Yes, I know what cinnamon is. I was on Earth in the 1970’s and tried it for the first time.”

“What were you doing here in the ‘70’s?”

“I was bored on Asgard and decided to spend my time on Midgard. I went to a university and studied mathematics and theoretical physics. I have a doctorate. It was quite interesting. Given that sorcery is a form of science, I already knew the content, but it was interesting to learn through the eyes of a Midgardian. For example, Asgard doesn’t use the same numerals or mathematical notations. Now I know how to perform mathematics on two planets. It was a very intriguing way to pass the time.”

“Not what I expected.”

Loki grins softly, picking up the cleaning spray [Y/N] had left on the table and beginning to spray the surface she had used. “What did you expect?”

“Not sure. How did you even manage to get into college?”

“It wasn’t so hard to create false documents.”

“So were you just living on Earth for years?”

“No, I went back to Asgard every night. Funnily enough, there is a hidden passage between Asgard and Midgard relatively close to Oxford. And before you ask, only Thor knew about it.” 

“I have no idea how you were able to manage that for years,” [Y/N] sighs. 

“I was young and looking for something new and intriguing. Your planet offers that.” Loki moves to the drying rack and starts putting the already dried dishes in their places. “Have you studied at a university before?”

“I was studying at a university, but given that I’ve been here for over a month and finals should be starting soon, I’ll have to redo this semester,” she responds, voice more bitter than normal. 

“My apologies. I was unaware of your studies.” That certainly does make things more difficult for her. “What are you studying? I shall bring books for you to study.” 

[Y/N] seems to hesitate before responding. “Biochemistry.”

She has interests in science as well? “How many semesters do you have left?” 

“Now that I’ve lost this semester, five to get a bachelor’s, if all goes well. And I’m considering further education afterwards.”

“I see.” Appears she did not start at the same time as many young adults typically start university . And I had to ruin it once she started to study . “Later today I’ll get you some books. Any specific subjects interest you?”

“I’ll text it to you,” she answers, setting down the bowl of frosting and covering it, setting it aside to be used later. 

“Very well,” Loki responds, taking her hint. He puts away the last dish. “Anything else I can do to help? In terms of cooking or studying. I have some relevant knowledge, if you are interested.”

“At the moment, no.”

“Let me know when you need anything. ” Loki turns to leave, and hears [Y/N]’s small sigh of relief as he goes through the door.

Your POV

What the heck was that? you ask yourself once you hear the light clicking of Loki’s door closing. You put one earbud back in but keep the other one out. Stupid of me to have them both outside of the bedroom. As your thoughts continue spiraling, the blood drains from your face. Oh my heavens, I sang in front of him! A song from a gosh darn musical of all things! Stupid, stupid, stupid! You sigh as you sit at one of the stools at the counter, head in your hands. How could I have done something so stupid ! You fill your fists with your hair, pulling strands out of your ponytail. And now he knows I'm studying biochem. Heaven forbid he finds out why! You study biochem with an emphasis on enhanced humans and aliens. Best not to let him know, not when possibly he'd find…another use for you after you finish your studies. Luckily I'm early on enough that I'm still studying the basics. Wouldn't understand much in a highly complex book on Inhumans  or supersoldiers yet. 

You take some deep breaths to calm down before taking out your ponytail to fix the mess you made. When you finish, you look at your phone's timer to see forty five minutes left. With nothing else to do but wait, you start messing around on your Instagram again, looking at more recipes and saving them. Cooking is fun, but maybe would be better when Loki isn't here. The music keeps going on your musical playlist on Spotify. “Something There,” from Beauty and the Beast plays and you promptly skip it. Because I should be listening to music about how a girl starts sympathizing with her captor. “My Shot” from Hamilton plays next. Much better suited. 

Part of you buzzes in excitement at the prospect of being able to study again. While you don't miss the insane load of homework and that one professor that seems to have it out for you, you have missed college. And it doesn't help that Loki, a Jotun, a species humans have never studied, is right there . If you weren't so terrified, many questions would be asked. But those questions will have to either wait or be asked very subtly. Or perhaps these questions will help me. As he said, sorcery is only a form of science humans haven't cracked yet. And he is willing to teach me a thing or two . You look towards the front door. Like how he made a force field that keeps me in but lets him come and go as he pleases .

Chapter Text

Your POV
Day Thirty Seven
April 10, 2021

You pull the pan out of the oven once the timer goes off, the sweet smell of freshly baked cinnamon rolls floating through the air. You set the pan on the stovetop before closing the oven. After a quick toothpick test, you turn off the oven and move the cinnamon rolls onto the counter to cool. Not having to wait due to your powers protecting you from burns, you grab one of the rolls and take a bite, the cinnamon sweetness melting in your mouth. My taste buds are in heaven . 

Somehow it doesn't surprise you when you hear footsteps approaching the doorway. “It certainly smells lovely, darling,” Loki says, leaning against the doorframe. “May I?” You nod as you chew, watching cautiously as Loki approaches. Loki sits on a bar stool, picking up a roll. “Thank you,” he adds before taking a bite. He closes his eyes, savoring the flavor perhaps? “ Norns , this is delicious.” 

“Um, thanks,” you say nervously. 

“What is this called again? I've never seen anything like it before,” he asks. 

“Cinnamon roll,” you answer after a moment. 

“I need a recipe, this is brilliant.” 

“I, I'll send you the one I used,” you respond after a moment of hesitation. Didn't expect him to be obsessed with cinnamon rolls .

“Thank you, dearest. May I?” Loki tilts his head toward the pan, asking for another. 

“I can't eat them all on my own.” You grab yourself another roll the same time he does. 

“You have my thanks, my dearest.” Loki stands, holding his cinnamon roll. “As much as I'd love to stay, I do have to leave. Text me the topics you would like to study, and I'll return with books for you. I'll be back in three, maybe four hours.” You nod as you watch as gold light shimmers around him as he walks towards the door, replacing his Asgardian leather for normal looking human clothes. Black jeans, a green shirt, and a black leather jacket. Interestingly enough, he doesn't do anything to disguise his face. How does he expect to avoid facial recognition if he goes out like that? He gives one last goodbye before opening the door. 

Part of you wants to run after him, but you know you can't get to the door before Loki closes it. Instead, you walk to one of the windows and watch. You have never seen how Loki manages to get from one place to another. There's no car in the driveway, but there is a garage that can't be accessed from the house that possibly stores one. But, Thor can't drive due to there being no need. He can fly. He flies everywhere or hitches a ride. Given that Loki is a sorcerer, perhaps there is a similar situation. But if there is, you don't witness it today. Perhaps Loki knew your intention. He simply walks on the sidewalk towards the west until he no longer is in sight, still eating the cinnamon roll he took on his way out. Learned nothing from that .

Sighing, you brush your fingers against the window, the force field lighting up gold again. You have never had access to the front yard. Though it would be maddening to be able to go through the front door yet not be able to reach the sidewalk. Perhaps it is better this way. 

You back away from the window and store the cinnamon rolls in Tupperwares in the fridge. Pushing against the barrier doesn't do any good you've found. Even Stephen couldn't find a way to break the enchantments. They'll only go away if Loki wants them to. 

In other words, I have to convince Loki to release me if I want to get out of here. But how? You ponder for a moment as you sit on a bar stool before an idea clicks in your head. That might work, but it's crazy, and who knows if Loki will remove the enchantments because of it? You continue to evaluate the possibilities in your head. But first I'll need to run a few experiments to see how Loki reacts. But how?

Loki’s POV, Some Time Ago

“Patience, brother. You suffered much on your journey,” Ebony Maw said in a stern tone. Another one of Thanos’s adopted children. On his quest to balance the universe, Thanos has adopted several who were abandoned or unwanted. Making him Loki’s third and best father. 

Loki laid down on his stomach, a cold stone table underneath him. Maw was telekinetic, and used his abilities as he helped Loki heal. The coldness seeps into his bare skin as Maw works on his spine. “I need to be at full strength to fulfill our father’s wishes.” That's not the true reason . Again, that annoying voice in the back of his head. The one that questions everything about Thanos. Loki is too ashamed to admit such a weakness to anyone. No one would understand. I need my strength if I am ever to leave .

“Father can wait for you to heal,” Maw assured him. “He is a patient man.”

“How much longer?” Loki asked. He had been stuck in bed recovering for a week now. 

“Not much longer until you heal as much as possible.”

“As much as possible?” Loki questioned.

“You fell through the vacuum of space. I assume you will never fully recover. But you shall recover sufficiently to be of use.” Maw answered.

To be used as an object . “Very well.” 

“Enough for today. You need rest.” 

“I've had my fair share of rest,” Loki argued. I most certainly have not! I've hardly recovered at all!

“Then you'll have a few more shares.” Maw used his powers to remove the instruments from Loki's back. Loki slowly, painfully sat as he conjured a shirt onto himself. After a moment, he stood, ignoring the pain in his legs as he walked back to his quarters. I must leave this place .

Loki sighed as he closed the door behind him. Why must I have such an irritating argument constantly in my head? It would be much simpler, much easier to submit to Thanos . He stumbled to his bed and laid down, hoping to sleep peacefully. He hadn't slept well since he was on Asgard. This internal argument always seemed to worsen as he slept, leaving him tired when he woke and oftentimes with a pounding headache.

After the first time, Loki tried to stop himself from sleeping. But he was too exhausted, too weakened from his fall. The minute he began his much needed rest, he was asleep. Since then, he had not tried to fight his physical body, but he was very wary of these dreams. 

I want freedom . 

“Silence,” Loki muttered into his pillow, hoping no one heard him. As normal, his eyelids drooped and he very soon fell asleep. But the voice in his head never slept. 

I need to escape. 

Nonsense , Loki responded in his dream. I've finally found where I belong . 

I do not belong in Thanos's grasp. Neither do the Infinity Stones .

Loki sighed. Thanos simply desires to bring balance to this overpopulated universe .

He desires cold-blooded murder and genocide. 

Loki never won the argument, and always began to ignore the voice once he was tired of such nonsense. 

I want to live my life on my terms. 

I didn't want this when I let go. 

I have no interest in helping Thanos.

Can Heimdall see me? 

Why has no one come to help?

I suppose I am no longer of use to Odin, now that Thor has returned and Jotunheim is all but destroyed. 

Does Thor know I am alive?

Can you see me, Heimdall? Please tell Thor that I'm alive, that I need help. Please tell Thor that Thanos wishes to find the Infinity Stones within Asgard’s reign. 

I can't let Thanos succeed. 

But how can I fight him? 

Why won't I fight him?

How do I fight an Infinity Stone?

How will I survive?

The voice continues until Loki awoke. And the same thing repeated every time he slept. 

Loki’s POV 

Loki steps through the front door, switching back to Asgardian clothing as he closes and locks the door. He goes to the kitchen cabinet first thing and grabs a medium sized bowl and sets it on the island before conjuring his findings from today's outing. He places the fruit in the bowl, the other ingredients in the fridge or nearby on the counter, and stacks the books neatly in a few piles, sorted by category. Once that is settled, he pulls out his phone and sends a quick text to [Y/N], asking her to come to the kitchen for a surprise. 

After a few moments, Loki hears a door click and [Y/N]’s light footsteps before she appears at the doorway. “Y-yes?” 

“I brought you the books you requested, and I thought that since you baked something from your culture, I should cook you something from mine. Has Thor ever given you Asgardian fruit?” 

She shakes her head as she cautiously approaches. “You, you got all of these books?” 

“Of course, dearest. I interrupted your studies. It is only fair that I help in whatever way for you to continue the best you can during your stay.” 

“Thanks,” [Y/N] whispers as her fingers trail against the cover of a book on organic chemistry. 

“You need not thank me. And I apologize for delaying your studies.” Loki grabs one of the fruits in the bowl. A maroon fruit that fits in the palm of his hand with a scale-like texture. “This is the sæt-terta. Not very creative naming. It translates to ‘sweet-tart.’” Loki hands one to [Y/N]. 

“It looks like a dragon egg,” she mutters as she examines it. 

“I suppose it does. Chip the shell off like so-” Loki says as he chips the delicate shell off of his own fruit, letting the shell fall to the counter “-and you eat the fruit inside.” He takes a bite, demonstrating the method to eat this fruit that is so very foreign to [Y/N]. As the name suggests, it starts off sweet, but slowly turns tart as chewed. 

She mimics Loki's actions before hesitantly taking a bite of the yellow flesh inside. She slowly chews, savoring this first bite. Her eyes widen, presumably when the fruit becomes tart. She swallows and starts to chip more of the shell off. “It tastes really good!” 

“It is my favorite fruit on Asgard,” Loki admits, chipping away at the shell as well. “And the ingredient in one of my favorite Asgardian desserts. I'll make you some, dearest.” 

“I, uh, thank you.” [Y/N] pauses. “You really went to Asgard today? And returned in a few hours?”

“I have my ways. Anything for my dearest. But I am rather surprised that Thor never once brought food from Asgard for you and your friends. He can legally go to and from realms as he pleases.” 

“He's never mentioned it,” [Y/N] says with a shrug. “No, he has mentioned meat before. He said hat most meat is similar enough, the only difference being seasoning. And there's no bacon.”

“What is bacon?” 

[Y/N] closes her eyes and sighs as she chews another bite of fruit. “It is a type of pork. And I would appreciate it if you could buy some because I can't live in good conscience knowing you don't know what bacon is. Of course, if that's alright with you.” 

Loki smiles. She's finally opening up a little . “As you wish, darling. But, my question still stands. Thor never once brought anything from Asgard?”

“Only himself and Mjolnir. But he also couldn't cook if his life depended on it.”

“I'm aware of that. My apologies for whatever he has cooked for you.”

[Y/N] shakes her head. “Tony banned him from cooking long before I went to the Compound.” 

“You are lucky,” Loki says with a smile. “I'll make you what I believe you would call ‘mousse’ from this fruit. Once Thor tried. Somehow he managed to make it spicy.” [Y/N] lifts an eyebrow in surprise as she finishes her sæt-terta, brushing the shell shards into her hand before taking them to the trash. As she does so, Loki lifts up a stack of books on biology. “May I help you carry them to your room?” 

“Um, yeah, sure,” [Y/N] says after a moment of hesitation. She grabs the other stack of books and they both walk into her bedroom, setting them down on her desk. 

“Hmmm….” Loki ponders for a moment, looking around the room. “I think there's a shelf downstairs. I'll bring it up for you.” 

“I can help,” she mutters after a moment. 

“No need, dearest. Allow me.” Loki turns on his heel and strides down the stairs into the storage room. Just as he thought, a small, unused shelf is on the floor. Loki conjures a rag to dust it off before he places the shelf in his dimensional pocket. 

He returns to [Y/N]’s bedroom. Her eyebrows furrow when the shelf isn't in sight. “Where would you like it?” 

“Um, by the desk?”

“Very well,” Loki responds as he does the hand movements to take the shelf out of his pocket dimension. Within a second, the shelf is against the wall and near the desk. “How does that look?”

“Um, uh, great, thank you,” [Y/N] says in a hushed tone, one hand wrapped nervously around her wrist. Her defenses are returning . 

“You're most welcome,” he responds as he starts stacking books on the shelf. “That should do it.” With the last book placed on the shelf, Loki turns to look at [Y/N]. 

As per usual, she seems to be trying to make herself smaller. She bows her head to the floor and hunches her shoulders. Giving the appearance of vulnerability and compliance. A learned position, no doubt. A defense mechanism against her previous trauma. Shaking hands, one clutching her wrist. Eyes darting between the floor and his hands, likely alert for any threatful action of his. Noticing this little detail for the first time, Loki clasps his hands behind his back, hoping this will calm her a touch. If it does, she certainly doesn't show it. Her eyes flick up to his face for a split second before looking back to the floor. 

“Is there anything else I can do for you, darling?” Loki asks, voice hardly above a whisper. [Y/N] shakes her head. “Should anything arise, don't hesitate to ask.” She nods, fidgeting with her long sleeve. Loki walks towards the door. “Would you prefer the door opened or closed?” He asks, hand on the door knob. 

“Closed,” [Y/N] mutters, her voice off. She had not turned to watch him leave, not to answer. 

Loki gently closes the door behind him, hearing quiet sniffles and the click of the lock. Poor thing. What did I do to scare her now? She had been more relaxed just a few minutes ago. He sighs as he walks to the kitchen, already conjuring a band to tie his hair back. He has a promise to keep today. 

Your POV 

You sit on the window sill cushion, pulling your necklace out, wiping your tears. What on Earth am I doing?  

Today you managed to: sing in front of Loki, receive his help to clean up your mess, talk to him about your potentially useful major, give him cinnamon rolls, eat Asgardian fruit (how did he even know it is edible for humans?) and gush over it,  demand bacon with the purpose to make him bacon for the first time , and allow him to help you with something so basic, something you shouldn't need any help at all doing. As a common theme, you were way too comfortable today. Why the heck would I want to cook bacon for someone that kidnapped me?! You bury your face in your hands. Why am I acting so normal now?! Nothing about this is normal?! 

You look out the window and watch a few birds as you contemplate. What could explain this? Why wouldn't I be so scared? It makes no sense until you think about earlier today and your idea. 

I know he won't hurt me. That's why. Instinctually I act like he will hurt me, but I know he won't. He's still a threat, but a different kind of threat. One I don't have to worry about hitting me if I screw up. You don't know when you started to believe the constant reassurances that you would be unharmed. But, somewhere along the way, it began to stick. Logically, he wouldn't hurt me. He needs me to stop whatever horrible thing it is. I'm too valuable to hurt. He can manipulate me all he wants, but he can't hurt me. 

Thinking it releases a weight off of your shoulders. While it is true that your body may react as if he will hurt you, you can start to dismantle that belief your mind may still hold. And it does explain today. You weren't as fearful, and therefore not as careful. 

What I have to remember is that while he may not hurt me, he can still damage me in more ways than I know.

Chapter Text

Your POV
Day Thirty Nine
April 12, 2021

But how am I going to do this without him knowing it’s on purpose? He’s the God of Lies, I can’t just lie to his face. That wouldn’t work at all , you think as you pace back and forth in your room. You had an idea to convince Loki to lift the barrier two days ago, but you still haven’t figured out the execution. I suck at lying anyway, there’s no way I’d be able to pull it off even if Loki can’t magically sense it or whatever. I’m a freaking open book. You wring your hands as you try to come up with something. It has to look accidental, or else it will be too obvious. If he finds out what I’m doing, he is going to freak out!

You stop pacing and flop onto your bed, worry eating you up. How the heck am I going to pull this off? You pull your necklace out from under your shirt and start rubbing it, trying to ground yourself before you spiral. When I was, like, sixteen maybe I could’ve pulled this off. I was a disaster, my clumsy butt wouldn’t have even needed to try . You look at your phone for the time, knowing it must be late. I should sleep on the problem , you decide when you see 11:18 light up on your screen. You quickly change into pajamas, open the door a smidge should Shadow want to come in, and curl up under your blankets. You keep mulling over your thoughts as you lie down, trying to figure out how the heck to get the evidence you need before going on with your plan. Eventually, you drift to sleep.

Your POV
Day Forty
April 13, 2021

You slowly wake up, rubbing your eyes, trying to distinguish reality from dream. Your dream wasn’t bad, nor good, but one of those dreams that are weird but seem so very real. Real enough that you feel like it truly happened upon waking up. Strange events that somehow seem perfectly plausible. You run a hand through your hair, trying to wake up enough to determine reality. 

You sluggishly get out of bed, reaching for your phone to see the time. 2:00 am. Grabbing your hair tie from your desk, you pull your hair up into a bun before walking out the door. You startle yourself when you stand on the hard wooden floor in the hallway. This is the first time you’ve gone outside of the bedroom barefoot. You never realized the uncarpeted floors were so cold. You keep walking down the hallway despite your cold feet. Maybe the cold will help me wake up. The cold water Loki gave me after my nightmares always seemed to make me more alert and aware of my surroundings. Thinking of such, you walk to the kitchen to get yourself some water. 

You grab a glass from the cupboard and fill it up with cold tap water. You lean against the counter, looking out the window as you sip the water. Even still, you can’t seem to get the strange images out of your mind. Loki had told me all of his plans, all of his intentions. I don’t remember them, but they were good intentions. I agreed to help him, and that’s when things got weird. We disappeared and focused on our goals, searching for something, or some things , because we had to get to them first. And there was lots of opposition, but you were holding on. And the ending, that loud sound, tearing the universe apart. Looking down at your hands, as they slowly fade to ash . You sigh. It was merely a dream. Perhaps your subconscious was seeking answers as well. Building possibilities from the little you know and adding its own chaotic spin on it. You sip the last bit of your water, feeling a little more grounded. A little bit. Even still, you feel that something isn’t right.

And maybe it isn’t. 

When you first hear the sound, you can’t even process what it was. The first thing you realize is your pounding heart. The second is the glass slipping out of your hand. The third is the awful sound of glass shattering. And next is your heart pounding even more. Crap, crap, crap! Your mind is in chaos as you bend down to pick up the bigger pieces. You aren’t within arm's reach of the trash or the broom, but given you are barefoot you can’t move away from your spot. You put the big shards in one of your hands, ignoring the sting from the occasional cuts and the blood dripping onto the floor. 

It’s alright, it’s alright, I can clean this up! It’s too early in the morning, Loki must be asleep. So he won’t be upset this second. I’ll tell him in the morning, but by then everything will be cleaned up so he’ll be calmer , you think as your mind continues its chaos. 

“[Y/N], are you well?” You freeze as you hear Loki’s tired voice from the doorway. You close your eyes for a second when the light flicks on, revealing exactly what happened. “Darling, you’re barefoot. You must be careful,” Loki adds as you hear his footsteps coming closer. Soon enough, you hear glass crunching underneath his boots. “Dearest, you’re bleeding.” His voice is concerned, not frustrated like you half expected. He stops in front of you and bends down to crouch with you. “Let me see the shards,” Loki requests calmly, holding his hand out for [Y/N]. With shaking hands, you drop the shards you had collected into Loki’s hands. He stands and pulls a mixing bowl out of the cupboard, dropping the shards in there and setting the bowl on the counter. 

“Let’s get you out of here before you cut yourself again,” he suggests. You nod, unable to speak up against him. Neither do you resist as he picks you up and carries you to the couch, setting you down on it. You press your bleeding palm against your chest, trying to not get blood on him, the floor, or the couch, staining your shirt. He sits next to you and you can’t stop yourself from flinching. You instinctively press yourself into the corner of the couch, pulling your knees to your chest, one hand cradling your bleeding hand, blood dripping on your clothes, pressed as far away from Loki as possible. “It’s alright dearest, it’s alright. Can I see your hand?” Despite your pounding heart, you slowly reach your arm out to Loki, showing your cut hand, blood sliding off onto his pants. Only now do you realize he is wearing loose clothing that must be pajamas with his boots pulled on, or possibly conjured after seeing the glass. 

“They aren’t as deep as I thought,” Loki informs her, seeming relieved. “Do you want me to heal them using sorcery?” 

You shake your head, pulling your hand back to your chest. 

“Very well, dearest,” Loki responds as he conjures bandages and other medical supplies on the table. “May I?” Hesitantly, you extend your arm again. He takes a piece of gauze and sets it over your cuts before holding your hand firmly, putting pressure on your palm. 

“Sorry,” you breathe out, hardly able to speak at all.

“No need to apologize. In Asgardian culture, it is common to throw down your glass if you want more to drink. As a result, our glasses are very cheap and easy to make. Despite knowing the difference in culture, it still only felt reasonable to buy inexpensive glasses. I bought them at the Dollar Tree,” Loki explains. “And we have plenty more. No harm was done, and I have hundreds of years of experience handling glass shards.” He lifts up the gauze and discards it before ripping open an alcohol wipe wrapper. It takes a few wipes. Once the wounds themselves are clean, he starts cleaning blood off of the rest of your hand. “My apologies for the stinging,” he says as you wince as he cleans the cuts. Afterwards, he lays a thin layer of gauze on your palm before wrapping your hand in bandages. “That should do it,” he says as he finishes wrapping. “All better now.” 

“Th-thank you,” you mutter, pulling your bandaged hand back to your chest. 

“And you’re most welcome. Wait here a moment, I’ll clean up the glass.” Loki stands, leaving you alone on the couch, curled up in fright. Not any of the reactions I expected . You hear glass shard clinking on the floor and landing in the bowl Loki had set shards in before. 

You don’t have to wait long before Loki is sitting next to you again. “It’s all over now, dearest,” Loki assures you as he sits. “Everything is taken care of.” You nod your head to thank him, lost for words. 

“Did you sleep well?” You shrug, not knowing how to answer. Weird fricking dream? Yes. Nightmare? No . You don’t know how Loki would classify that. “Nightmare?” You shake your head, having guessed that Loki would think you had a nightmare. “Perhaps not a nightmare, but you did dream, yes? Not something terrifying, but something odd.”

“How did you know?” 

“You seem shaken, and not only because of the glass. You were shaken, and that caused the accident.” He isn’t wrong , you think with a nod. “What did you dream about?”

“It was really weird,” you admit, trying to focus on your dream and remember the details. “It was oddly realistic but so…different. You told me your plan. All of it. I don’t remember what it was. I only remember that we had to search for some stuff. We dropped off the grid to look for this stuff, no one knew what was going on with us. I remember lots of people, and things, were in our way. In the end, I heard this metallic sound that seemed to rip the universe. Then I looked down at my hands, and they were turning to ash. Then I woke up, but not from fear. I was calm even though I was turning to ash. I woke up thinking that I had a weird as heck dream. Looking back, I’m realizing that I died .” Somehow, you feel calmer as you talk about your dream. This is the first time you explicitly told Loki the contents of a dream. 

Loki nods, listening intently. “I’ve had a theory now for many years that dreams are a window to the multiverse.” 

“Multiverse? As in alternate universes?”

“Precisely. Occasionally, when we dream, we get a glimpse at an alternative version of ourselves in another universe. Not all dreams are showing other universes, only those suspiciously odd ones that leave us confused and unsettled when we wake.”

“Then do you know why I turned to ash in my dream?” 

“In that universe, we failed.”

Loki’s POV

I hope Thor has the sense to never take [Y/N] to Asgard , Loki thinks as he goes back to bed. After a few minutes of talking with [Y/N], distracting her from the glass, she had calmed enough to stop the sheer panic. She had gone to her room, but Loki suspects she is still awake, trying to process what happened.. Shadow jumps onto Loki’s bed as he lies down, moving to lie on Loki’s stomach. “Hello there, my precious,” he croons as he rubs Shadow’s chin. 

Loki sighs. More evidence that [Y/N] was abused. Dropping a glass is a rather domestic mistake. Something common. Yet she was terrified. Means she has been punished for this before. Punished by someone who wanted a perfect, obedient and joyless [Y/N]. Loki sets his jaw as he ponders on this subject for a millionth time. He was abused by Odin, but in a very different way. Neither abuse was worse than the other, but so very foreign to each other, leaving Loki absolutely horrified whenever he learns anything about [Y/N]’s abuser. While he hasn’t revealed much about his own abuse, the one thing he did tell [Y/N], how Odin ordered his torture, did horrify her. Everything about her past is so strange and horrifying, and surely she would feel the same about his if he were to reveal anything more. 

Shadow mews softly, leaning into Loki’s palm. “Are you worried about [Y/N] too?” Loki asks, speaking in a high pitched voice reserved for Shadow. “We need to take care of her, don’t we?” Shadow purs as he pets her, closing her eyes lazily. “She’ll be shaken up tomorrow. Norns, seeing herself die and then dropping that glass left her more on edge than normal.” Loki starts pondering on her dream. Luckily, she didn’t learn anything that would cause a problem. All she knows for certain is what will happen if he fails. She saw a search, but she didn’t see what the search was for. While Loki guesses she saw a search for the Infinity Stones, that isn’t the only possibility. There are countless things his variant could have seen as useful to fight Thanos. Either way, their variants had failed. Just as he had imagined. 

It’s too soon. The right time will come, until then I can only do my best to prepare .

Chapter Text

Your POV
Day Forty
April 13, 2021

At the very least I have better odds of my idea working , you tell yourself as you lie awake. You did manage to sleep again after some time. Now it’s just past 9:00, and you’re trying to process what happened last night. You raise your arm and look at your hand and the bandages securely wrapped around it. The cuts don’t hurt, only itch slightly. You sigh as you rest your arm above your head, remembering how you could hardly breathe when Loki dressed your cuts. 

You know that Loki won’t physically hurt you, he’s made that plenty clear. But in that moment all logic had fled your mind. All that remained were terrors from the past. You remember what used to happen to you when you broke something. In that moment, that was all you could think of. Ever since you left that environment, breaking things always puts you on edge. Normally, you’re around people that can help you calm down, people that you trust, people that know your story. Normally you can calm down easily enough. Usually Bucky takes you away from the scene of the crime and helps you calm down in some far off part of the Compound. Meanwhile, someone else handles the mess. If you’re alone, you normally ask FRIDAY for help, and she’ll call for the others. It still isn’t easy, but it’s manageable. 

But you don’t have that support net here. Yes, Loki won’t hurt you, but he isn’t by any means trustworthy. There are still plenty of things he could do to you without physically hurting you. You have repeatedly told yourself to not be vulnerable in front of him yet things like this keep happening. And he doesn’t even know about your past. He never even took the time to figure that out. He doesn’t have to ask her, he doesn’t have to hack into any system or anything. All of the records are public. All he has to do is Google it. Read her Wikipedia page. If he wants to know more specifics, he could look at court records. 

So all I’ve done is make myself even more vulnerable. Now he knows more. He knows something that truly terrifies me . You slowly sit up, leaning against the wall behind you, pulling your necklace out from underneath your shirt. Last night you had to use a washcloth to wipe the blood off of it and your skin from where you pressed your bleeding hand against your chest. You put your hair up and try to decide what to do now, how to move forward after last night. Guess my best move would be to get a second opinion. You reach for your phone and open up your conversation with Bucky.

You: hey are you free rn?

You fiddle with the blankets as you wait for his response, sitting cross-legged and stretching out your back. 

Bucky: yeah, wanna call?

You: yes

Within seconds, your phone starts vibrating as Bucky video calls you. You immediately answer and hold your phone up. “Hey,” you say quietly with a small smile. “How are you?”

“Well enough. You?”

You shake your head, trying to think of what to say. “Worse than normal.”

“What happened?”

“I-” Your voice cuts out as your eyes burn and your throat tightens. “I broke a glass last night.” A tear drops. “I woke up in the middle of the night so I went to get some water. And I don’t know what happened, but the glass slid out of my hand onto the floor.” More tears. “I was barefoot so I couldn’t move away, but I was picking up the glass to try and clean it up. I thought that since it was the middle of the night, Loki wouldn’t find out until morning. I cut my hand on the shards. Then Loki came and I was freaking even more.” You stop for a moment, closing your eyes as tears flow. “He didn’t hurt me, he was worried about me. He took the shards I was holding away and picked me up to take me away from the glass.” You lift your bandaged hand for Bucky to see. “He offered to use magic to heal me but I didn’t want him to. I don’t really like letting him use magic on me. So he did this. He cleaned up the glass and he got me to calm down by helping me focus on something else.” 

“[Y/N], I’m so sorry,” Bucky starts. “How’s your hand?”

“It’s fine,” you answer as you wipe tears away. “Just a few cuts. At first they bled a lot, but Loki said they aren’t very deep. Or at least I think he did. I dunno, some of what he said is a blur. But they don’t hurt.” 

“Okay, that’s good. But I can tell you’re still shaken up.” He looks worried, but that’s pretty normal for these calls. 

You nod. “I didn’t want him to know. I hate how I keep having crises in front of him and making myself vulnerable. This is just one more thing he can use against me. Plus, out of everything that’s happened, this is one of the worst reactions I’ve had so far. I couldn’t do anything but cry. Cry and try to not get my blood on the floor, couch, or him. I could barely speak, and it was only to apologize for breaking his glass. I was a sobbing wreck. Now that he knows that, he can use this to mess with me.”

Bucky nods. “I understand. I used to hate it whenever Hydra would learn something about me. The more knowledge someone has, the more ways they have to hurt you. Though I’m still amazed that Loki never once tried to do any research on you outside of your powers.”

“Yeah, it’s not like he’d have a hard time finding out anything else. Though I guess he’s said a few times that he doesn’t want to pry? I don’t know why he’d want to let me have that privacy, but apparently he does.” You sigh as you adjust your position on your bed. “I don’t know, but I keep feeling this dread now that Loki knows, and I can’t help but think of what used to happen to me.”

“I’m not surprised,” Bucky says with a frown. “I wish I could do something to help you.”

“You already are by talking to me, that’s what I need most,” you insist. Please don’t guilt trip yourself over this. “You’re doing all you can for me, and I’m so grateful. I just needed to talk this through with someone I trust.” You adjust your position slightly, moving your pillow to cushion your back against the wall. “I don’t know how I’ll figure this out, but I’ll get through this. In fact, I have an idea.” 

Bucky straightens. “What is it?”

You open your mouth to answer, but before you can you hear a knock at the door. Your eyes widen and your body tenses once Loki finishes knocking. “Just a moment!” you say after a moment, loud enough for Loki to hear. You take a deep breath and turn back to your phone and start to whisper. “Loki just knocked on my door.”

“Keep your phone in your pocket with your screen hidden. I’ll mute my mic and listen in on whatever happens.” He mutes his microphone and you can see him walking out into the halls, probably finding someone else to also witness what’s going to happen. 

You throw a bra and hoodie on, trying to make it look like you were actually trying to get dressed before Loki showed up. You stash your phone in your hoodie pocket, hoping that the fabric won’t muffle the microphone. You take a deep breath, trying to calm yourself before unlocking the door.

Bucky’s POV

“Someone get over here, I’m on call with [Y/N] and Loki just showed up, I’m muted and on call still to listen in on what he’s gonna say!” Bucky shouts down the hall, knowing at least one person is going to be in the living room at this time of day. It doesn’t take long for Thor to jog over. Bucky quickly explains what had happened the night before to Thor as they both walk into one of the conference rooms. Thor’s jaw stiffens as he hears about the broken glass. They both sit down and Bucky connects his phone to the Bluetooth speakers in the room so that they can better hear any small detail. 

“Did you sleep well, dearest?” Loki asks, his voice much gentler than Bucky had ever heard before. Regardless, he curls his fists when he hears Loki call her “dearest.” Messed up as heck .

“Kind of,” [Y/N] answers with a quiet and shaky voice. Very similar to how she sounded so long ago….

“I’m sorry to hear that, darling,” Loki responds, with that same gentle tone and ridiculous notion of calling [Y/N] pet names. “I came to look at your bandages. May we sit?” Bucky hears shuffling, and he can only assume that [Y/N] nodded her approval. “May I?”

Silence, possibly as Loki examines [Y/N]’s wound. Bucky can all but see [Y/N] shaking, trying her best to stop her hand from trembling. As hard as it is for him to imagine Loki being gentle, Bucky does know from [Y/N]’s descriptions of similar events that he truly does treat her gently, never so much as raising his voice or grabbing her. Bucky can hear [Y/N]’s faint sniffles in the background.

“Relax, take some deep breaths,” Loki urges. “I am here to help you.”

Bucky can see Thor just as tense as he is at his side. They both listen intently to the audio. They can hear [Y/N]’s panicked breathing.

“I’m going to count to four, and I want you to breathe in as I do so. Ready? One…two…three…four…. Good, good. I’ll count to four again, and this time you’ll breathe out. One…two…three…four…. Let’s continue.” Bucky listens as Loki counts and [Y/N]’s breathing slows. After a few moments, her breathing is only broken up by occasional sobs. “Good, darling, much better. Your hand is healing very well. I will put a new bandage on, and tomorrow I will check again. Okay?”

“Y-yeah,” [Y/N] stutters, her voice cracking. 

“Good, good.” There’s a pause, and Bucky can hear nothing other than [Y/N]’s soft sobs. “I suppose I don’t need to ask how you’re feeling.” Another pause. “I will not ask anything. I know that you don’t like to talk about your past. But I know enough to make some assumptions. I want to be very clear: you have done nothing wrong. You were startled and had an involuntary reaction. I am not in the slightest angered and you need not fear any retaliation.”

A long pause. “I, I know. Logically I know,”  [Y/N] responds quietly. 

“But that doesn’t mean you won’t have emotional distress, I know. And I apologize. With what little I know, I should have seen the possibility and prevented this from ever happening. But what’s done is done. All I can do is prevent any future problems. I have enchanted almost every piece of glass here to make them shatterproof. If you allow me, the only remaining unenchanted glass is your window and your mirrors. With your permission, I’ll enchant them as well.” 

“He can do that, right?” Bucky asks Thor. If this is some sort of twisted manipulative act to calm her only for this to happen again, I’m going to strangle Loki myself.

Thor nods. “I’ve only seen him do it with goblets, but I’m certain the same enchantment would work for any glass object.”

“You…you can do that?”

“Oh yes. Confirm with Thor if you would like to. Ask him about a certain Yuletide feast a few centuries ago. I’m certain he’ll remember.”  

Bucky glances at Thor to see him shaking his head with a light smile. “I’ll explain afterwards.”

“Okay. Please use your spell.”

“As you wish.” There’s a moment of silence, and Bucky assumes that Loki is enchanting the remaining glass. All he hears are faint sniffles. “There, that will do,” Loki says soothingly after a moment. “Is there anything else I can do for you?” Silence. “Very well. If you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask.” 

More silence. Then the screen goes from black to [Y/N] pulling it out of her pocket. Bucky unmutes himself as Thor slides his chair closer. Bucky leans his phone against a vase for the camera to show both him and Thor. “Okay, he’s gone,” [Y/N] says as she sits down on her bed again, wiping away tears. “Did you hear us well?”

“Yep, we heard it all,” Bucky answers, trying to think of what to say. Such a messed up situation. And she’s dealing with this everyday. “Are you alright?” Stupid question but I don’t know what else to say . 

[Y/N] shrugs. “I dunno. Could be worse.” Bucky and Thor stay silent. “So, uh, wanna tell me about that Yuletide feast a few centuries back?”

Thor smiles softly. “In Asgardian culture it’s common to throw goblets and shatter them. My brother enchanted all of the goblets to not shatter during one of the biggest celebrations in the year. It was a harmless joke, but it was very confusing for the first thirty minutes until we learned what he had done.” 

“Really?”

“He used to be very different,” Thor admits sadly. “He used to use his sorcery to make harmless fun. But it was always well intentioned and harmless. At worst it was irritating. We were the best of friends. We did most everything together for centuries. Then everything changed.” 

Why did he change? The question Bucky has been pondering over for weeks now. 

“I will admit I’m surprised by his mannerisms with you,” Thor continues. “I’ve never heard him like this. He was by no means cruel before everything changed, but I would not have called him gentle either. I don’t know why, but he is acting very differently now.” He sighs. “Of course, that isn’t to say he’s worthy of trust. He long since broke any bounds of trust I had for him. It very well is possible that he is purposely treating you this way to find a way to manipulate you. Yet I find his behavior interesting.” 

[Y/N] nods after a moment. “I don’t know what he wants. I’m pretty sure that he won’t hurt me. Logically, if he needs me for something down the line he won’t want me hurt. And he won’t shut up about how he won’t hurt me, how he isn’t ever angry at me, how he wants me to be safe, all of that bullcrap . I hear it non-stop .” She rolls her eyes. “I have no clue what he really wants. I’ve tried to figure it out, but all I’ve got is random hints.” She sighs. “I was so panicked I forgot to even mention a couple of things.”

Chapter Text

Your POV
Day Fifty
April 23, 2021

How on Earth did he manage to cover everything up so well? you ask as you try anything you can to find your location. You have known for a long time that the obvious methods like the Maps app and Google wouldn’t work. But given you live in an age where corporations want your personal data and location, a good chunk of the apps and sites you use have access to your location now that you disabled your VPN. And yet that hasn’t worked. Weather still is showing forecasts, you still have the correct time zone, and most parts of these apps are functioning. Except for any section that would show your location. Even your camera doesn’t want to work. You tried to take a picture of the house across the street, knowing FRIDAY could maybe use a picture to locate a nearby house. But no, the camera doesn’t want to work if  anything outdoors is in frame.

Okay, so I can’t plan what I’ll do after leaving this place. I guess I’ll have to improvise. You pocket your phone before walking out of the bedroom and into the front room. Loki left thirty minutes ago, and you are using this time to construct a plan. You scan the street for anything that might be useful when a neighbor pulls into their driveway, neither hand on the wheel. My phone is useless, but that car isn’t. It’s one of the new Teslas, and this one is special because it essentially has its own phone plan. It can connect to a phone, but if the driver doesn’t have their phone they still can use GPS, autopilot, and make calls. It could give you your location, call your friends, and drive you while you handle everything else. 

I always thought self-driving cars were stupid. I guess I found a use for one . I could get out of here and be driven as far away as the battery will take me. And there will be a quinjet waiting for me when the battery dies. I’ll go to whatever business is the farthest the battery will take me, a restaurant or something like that so that I’m not out in the open. 

You head to the kitchen. You start pulling anything you might need from the cupboards. Water bottles. Small bowls for Shadow (because you sure as heck aren’t leaving her with Loki). Shadow’s food. Snacks for yourself. And most importantly, the key to your escape: a steak knife. 

You carry everything back to the bedroom and root through your closet until you find bags. You fill one up with anything you can think of. A set of clothes to change into, colors different than what you wear now. Hand sanitizer on the desk. A coat and blanket. The first aid kit Loki left in case you ever hurt yourself while he’s out. A couple of toys for Shadow. Your wallet (which thankfully was on you when Loki took you, and thankfully he hasn’t touched the cash or cards). Everything you grabbed from the kitchen. 

You zip that bag up and take a look at the second. Some of the sides are mesh and the bag can work as a cat carrier for a short amount of time with a little modification. I need something sturdy for Shadow to rest on . You start throwing textbooks off the shelf and then pull the wood the books were on off the rest of the shelf. You rest one end on the ground and hold the other end a couple feet up before stomping on the wood, breaking the bottom part off. You use the steak knife to get some of the sharp bits of wood off before grabbing a small blanket from the chest under your bed. You wrap the blanket around the wood and set it in the bag. That’s better than carrying her in my hands. When Shadow walks into the room, you gently set her in the carrier, allowing her to sniff it and grow accustomed before being part of an escape attempt. 

You look at your phone and see the time. “Loki’ll be back in fifteen minutes.” You quickly open the Venge app and choose something random to buy. After you type the code, you add an extra message: get the quinjet ready .

Loki’s POV

“How are you, dearest?” Loki asks as he walks inside the house, seeing [Y/N] sitting on the couch facing away from him and towards the fireplace. He closes the door behind him, locking it more out of habit than necessity. With the barrier in place, [Y/N] can’t leave and no one with bad intentions can enter. Old habits die hard. 

“Not great,” [Y/N] answers with a quiet voice. 

She’s not usually that blunt. Must be something serious . “I’m sorry to hear that. What can I do to help?” Loki slowly approaches the couch, intending to sit on the opposite end while they discuss whatever is upsetting her. But as he approaches, Loki can see two bags.

[Y/N] jumps to her feet in a heartbeat, the duffel bags hanging from her shoulders, one with Shadow in it. She’s wearing the same shoes she always wears during her defense lessons and a coat. Instead of a messy bun, her hair is in a tight braided bun. Loki watches as she moves to stand in front of the door, reaching her hand behind her to unlock the door and open it. In her other hand is a steak knife. That knife can only hurt her… , Loki realizes, tensing his jaw.

“I can’t do this anymore. And I won’t,” she says as she lifts the knife to her throat. Her voice trembles but she manages to get by without stuttering. “But I know that you want me alive. So would you prefer me alive and free? Or would you rather I kill myself?” Her hands shake but she keeps the knife firm against her throat. 

“[Y/N], put down the knife, and we can talk about this,” Loki says gently, slowly stepping closer to her.

“No, stay back!” she shouts, pressing the knife against her throat. Loki freezes when a small trickle of blood slides down her neck. Only a small cut, thankfully. He slowly backs away from [Y/N] as her body trembles and blood slides down her neck. “Get rid of the barrier and let me leave!” Tears start to fall down her face. “I don’t want to die, I really don’t. But if that’s the only way I’ll escape this nightmare….” She trails off as her tears start to mix with her blood. 

Loki’s heart races as he watches [Y/N] firmly press the knife against her throat. This isn’t going to end well . He slowly exhales before responding. “I am dreadfully sorry that I drove you this, darling.” Pause. “I need to touch the barrier to remove it.” He keeps his voice calm and gentle, not daring to do or say anything remotely frightening. One flinch could be the end. “May I?” he continues when [Y/N] doesn’t respond. 

[Y/N] gives the slightest of nods before stepping aside enough for Loki to reach behind her. He slowly walks towards the door, never once looking away from the blade at [Y/N]’s throat. [Y/N] stares back at him, tears rushing down her cheeks. Once Loki is close enough, he rests his hand on the barrier. “This will take a moment,” he warns [Y/N]. She glances towards his hand on the barrier, watching as the barrier warps around his hand. Glances long enough to miss his other hand moving until he is lightly grasping her arm securing the blade. “I’m so very sorry,” he mutters as he closes his eyes. 

Before [Y/N] can react, Loki finishes the spell, making her arm go limp. The knife clatters to the floor and he swiftly kicks it, sliding it several feet behind him. Loki releases her arm as [Y/N] stares at him in fearful surprise. Her trembling gets worse in a matter of seconds. She slowly shrinks in on herself, the same vulnerable figure Loki has seen a thousand times. How can I possibly make this any better?

Your POV

No! You blink against more tears as you slowly lean away from Loki. You stare at him, looking for any hint to what he’s thinking. Any hint to prepare you for what’s next. He looks…scared? No, that can’t be right. Giving up on your analysis, you lower your head and stare at his boots. You try to get yourself to breathe evenly, but the terrified part of you is overwhelming. He might be angry, but he won’t hurt me at least. Whatever happens now, at least it won’t hurt. The only upside you can find in this disaster. 

“How about we sit down?” Loki says after a moment, voice hardly louder than a whisper. As if you’re too fragile for anything else. You reluctantly nod. Loki gently sets his hand on your lower back, slowly nudging you along into the hallway. He guides you into the library and to the couch. He sits next to you, closer than you would like. You run your fingers up and down your numb hand, not feeling anything. 

Without a word, Loki slowly lifts the shoulder straps of the duffle bags over your head. You keep looking at your lap, too drained to care. He sets the bags on the floor, unzipping the makeshift cat carrier. Then he helps you out of the coat before folding it up and setting it aside. You blink away tears as he slowly dismantles your escape plan even more. 

“May I see your cut?” I forgot about that . You slowly look towards Loki, chin raised for your cut to be more visible. “Not much worse than a scratch.” I figured since I’m still alive. I didn’t mean to cut myself, I was only trying to press the knife against my throat since you were getting closer . You stare behind him, eyes losing focus, as he cleans and dresses your cut, not even asking this time if you would like to be magically healed. Learned my answer I guess . You flex, well, try to flex your numb fingers as you hold back sobs, at the very least until Loki isn’t touching your throat. The faster he doesn’t have hands on my neck, the better, and if I start shaking any more than I already am it will take longer .

“There you are. It won’t take long to heal,” Loki says as he lowers his hands. You look down at your numb hand again, still trying to flex your fingers. “May I?” he asks after a moment, his hand hovering near yours. You nod, raising your hand slightly for Loki to grasp. He begins gently rubbing your hand with his thumbs, slowly moving from finger to finger, from palm to back. “The numbness will wear off soon, but this will help.” You nod again, using your other hand to wipe away tears. He continues rubbing your hand, then starts traveling up your arm, then back down, repeating the same pattern. 

You remain silent. It isn’t surprising that Loki immediately cared for you physically, that’s exactly the desire you tried to use to your benefit. Surely he’ll soon try to soothe you as he always does, telling you to breathe and apologizing for what he has done. But you know it will be different today. Of course there were consequences for other events that affected how Loki treats you, such as when you hallucinated. But everything else pales in comparison to a suicide attempt . Everything else was unintentional or out of your control. All Loki did was try to be more accommodating for whatever it was, generally speaking you benefited from his reaction. Only downside was how much more Loki knew about you. But what you did now was intentional and dangerous. Surely he’ll take a more direct approach to stop you from ever doing this again. The question is what that approach will be, and how controlling?

“I must ask, was this merely a strategic decision, or do you truly consider suicide?” Loki asks, his voice not much louder than a whisper. He continues rubbing your forearm as he waits for your response, though you feel him tense. As if he is preparing for the worst. 

You close your eyes, wishing you could disappear. “I, I don’t want to d-die,” you whisper. “I, I thought maybe it would work.” 

Loki noticeably relaxes once he hears your answer, returning to massaging your forearm. “Thank the Norns,” he mutters under his breath. His fingers lower to your palm, slowly rubbing as you start to feel his fingers a tad bit more. 

“I won’t try it again.” No point anyway if Loki can stop me. 

“I certainly appreciate that,” Loki says as he massages your fingertips. He pauses. “I know you wouldn’t want to, but if you ever do develop suicidal thoughts, please tell me . You shouldn’t have to suffer that alone. You can call your friends, yes, but you would need more than digital support.” The tone of his voice is urgent, and something else…. It’s almost as if he’s seen this happen before . 

“Okay,” you respond, slowly moving your fingers as feeling returns to them. Loki massages your wrist as the two of you sit in silence. “I’m sorry,” you whisper after a few moments.

“As I’ve said before, you need not apologize dearest.”

“No, I, um, I meant that, that I worried you, and, and this seems important to you,” you insist. He’s being so serious, so worried….

Loki sighs. “It is a sensitive topic. Well, my attempts were never about strategy.”

Your attempts? But it isn’t far-fetched. Loki is known for faking his death…I suppose he wasn’t faking them…. “Sorry,” you mutter under your breath, trying to process this new tidbit of information. 

“Don’t be. You didn’t know, and you were trying to improve your situation. I can’t give you any fault for that.” He sighs again. “I truly thought I would die when I allowed myself to fall off the bifrost, as I did when I was stabbed on Svartalfheim. I don’t know how I survived. I had practically no support during these times. I had my mother, but she wasn’t much help either time. Before my first attempt, she perhaps tried to comfort me but very well. Before I tried again, she would visit me with illusions, but I already knew no one would listen to me.” Loki pauses again. “Thankfully, I no longer consider suicide. But I certainly don’t want anyone to be hurt the way I was, and I have every intention to protect you [Y/N], potentially from yourself as well.”

“Sorry about all that,” you mutter, surprised Loki opened up this much to you. 

“Don’t be, I am much better now. But enough about me. How does your arm feel?”

“Better,” you answer as you flex your fingers and wrist, the numbness almost entirely gone. 

“Good. Now you could use some cheering up. Do you like pizza?”

Pizza? You nod after a moment of hesitation.

“Whichever restaurant you want, whichever toppings or sides, I will bring you.”

What?!

“How about you go to your bedroom and call your friends? And text me your choices when you’ve had time to think about it? I imagine you don’t appreciate my presence.” 

“Thank you,” you mutter as you slowly stand, fighting to hold back your sobs just long enough for you to lock the bedroom door behind you. 

“No need, darling,” you hear Loki say as you walk out of the room and towards the bedroom. 

You wipe tears away as you lock the door behind you and dash for the bed. You curl up under the covers, sobbing. You fumble for your phone, which you left on your desk. You had assumed that Loki would have a means of tracking it given that he somehow can do tons of stuff to your phone, and figured abandoning it would be for the best. You see a thousand different texts from the Avengers. You hadn’t really explained your plan, knowing that Loki can enter your phone and if you abandoned it you didn’t want it to contain anything that could help him. You click on your conversation with Bucky and scroll past all of his texts to type your own. 

You: didnt work. was a disaster

Chapter Text

Your POV
April 26, 2021
Day Fifty Three

You stare blankly at the ceiling, too drained to care that you've laid in bed doing nothing for the past two hours, or that you fell asleep last night still in your jeans just after kicking your shoes off at the foot of the bed, or that it has been more than twenty four hours by now since you left the bedroom. None of that seems to matter since your failed escape attempt. That is all that has consumed your thoughts, no matter how much you try to distract yourself with books, music, movies, your friends, anything. In the back of your head is always that feeling of despair as your arm fell limp and the steak knife clattered to the floor before being swept out of sight.

There's nothing I can do. It's impossible for me to leave, only if Loki lets me. And not even the threat to slit my throat is enough for that to happen. Tears slide out of the corners of your eyes and down the sides of your face. You have cried more often than not the past few days. If it weren't for Loki's spell you would have been horribly dehydrated by now, crying faster than you could restore fluids yourself.

You have hardly interacted with Loki since, but every time you have he has watched you like a hawk. As if at any moment you could fall apart. Especially near anything that could harm you. When making something to eat near the knife block, while standing at the top of the stairs, when you stared maybe a bit too intensely at a pot of water. Probably worried you would try to convince him to let you leave by hurting yourself again. You had told him that you won't try that ever again, but you can understand how he might not believe that. Loki always has been accommodating, always doing anything he can to work with whatever new information he has learned about you. So really it is more of the same. Though you had assumed he would have done something more…preventative. At the very least you assumed the kitchen knives would be confiscated, but not even that was done. You didn't have any specific ideas about what he would do, but you assumed he would do something to take away ways to hurt yourself.

Whatever may be going through his head, you try not to be around him. Well, you're trying harder than normal. It's not as if you ever enjoyed his presence. Now you can't stand how Loki acts as if at any moment you could hurt yourself. Makes sense why, but it isn't very helpful.

You keep staring at the ceiling, too many thoughts racing through your head, until your phone starts to vibrate. You sigh, reaching for your other problem. When you told the Avengers what had happened, they freaked out. Bucky video called you and the first thing he saw was a bandage on your throat, so that didn't go well. He was using some very colorful language to describe how he was going to kill Loki before you managed to tell him that Loki didn't hurt you, you accidentally cut your skin a bit when threatening to kill yourself. Which wasn't all that comforting. You had told him you had a plan to escape, but you didn't go into specifics, not wanting any possibility that Loki could figure it out. Not to mention you figured none of them would be a fan of you threatening to kill yourself. You figured that if it worked, they couldn't get too concerned about it. Too bad it didn't work.

You sit up, leaning against the wall behind you, wiping tears from your face. Might as well try not to look like I've been lying in bed crying for however long. You answer the video call, putting on a fake smile despite knowing even a child could see right through it. You think there must be some sort of rotation going on for who gets to call you when. You have spoken with the Avengers more than normal the past couple of days. They're definitely worried sick, and must have made some sort of plan so that you aren't ever alone.

"Hey, Natasha." You do your best to maintain a steady voice. Not like you have any chance of hiding anything from the Black Widow. "How are you?" You pretty much know the answer, but for politeness's sake you ask.

"Could be better. What about you?"

"Pretty sure you know the answer by now." You cross your legs and sigh.

"Well, doesn't hurt to ask. Anything new?"

"Not really. I haven't seen Loki in over a day. The only thing that's different is that one of you guys is calling me every hour."

"We don't want you to be alone, not after what you went through." Natasha's voice is concerned, but it's not like that's a surprise. You have excelled at concerning the whole team lately.

You sigh. They've all got good intentions, but I don't find it very helpful. They all keep focusing on the wrong things. And now instead of just Loki freaking out over whether I'm going to nosedive down the stairs, everyone else is freaking out over the same thing. "I appreciate it, I do." Frustrating, but it's better than being alone I guess. "I don't know what I would've done without you guys."

Natasha smiles softly. "Want to talk about it? Or do you want to be distracted?"

"Gosh, I've already said everything I can, I just want to think about something else." And I finally won't be asked so many questions about my will to live.

You: sorry, but i need some time to myself

You spent more time on your phone calling the Avengers than not, enough that you had to recharge your phone twice already today. Your phone is flaming hot, and both it and you need a break from this constant stream of video calls. When Clint had just barely called, you didn't answer, instead sending your text. You turn your phone off and drop it on your desk before showering, trying not to let your thoughts get too negative.

Once dressed and hair braided, you quietly step into the hall. You walk straight to the kitchen counter and grab an apple and some peanut butter. You sit at the breakfast nook, grabbing a paring knife on your way. You watch the slow drizzle outside as you slice the apple. A squirrel runs across the top of the fence. For a second you see the force field light gold as the squirrel runs through it. You obviously knew animals could go through the barrier, or else Shadow never would have been in the backyard. You wonder if there's any affect on the animals, but it doesn't seem like that squirrel was bothered. If I had been smart I would have done a That Darn Cat sort of thing with Shadow. Oh well, no way I would have done that with a house cat when it was that cold. But next time I get close enough to touch an animal, I'm attaching a message and throwing it over the fence, hopefully someone will find it.

You roll your eyes when you hear light footsteps near the doorway. What, did he put a magic signal on these knives to alert you whenever I pick one up? You continue slicing the apple as Loki steps into view, grabbing an apple himself. He leans against the counter as he watches you. You stop yourself from rolling your eyes, trying to ignore his stare as you focus on your apple.

"How are you, darling?" Loki asks after a moment.

You don't look up, feeling his stare like a dagger. "Alright." A lie that literally anyone could see through. Loki knew the answer before he asked the question. He also knew that you wouldn't actually say how you feel. A question only meant to break the tense silence as he stares at the knife in your hand.

"Is there anything I can do for you?"

Your jaw clenches as you continue slicing. You could stop all this crap. You finish cutting the last slice and set the knife on the table harder than you should.

Loki's POV

"You could stop that," [Y/N] answers, almost slamming the knife against the table after finishing slicing her apple. She doesn't look up from her apple, shoving a slice into the peanut butter more aggressively than needed.

"May I ask for clarification?" It could be any number of things you want me to stop, given the circumstances I threw you into. Loki intently observes her for any little reaction, though more relaxed now that the knife is no longer in hand.

"Could you stop freaking out over nothing?!" she answers, voice starting to raise. "Every little thing I do you act like I might lose it and try to kill myself out of nowhere. I already told you that I won't ever try again. Dear heavens, since when did you become a psychiatrist? I don't want to die, I just want to get out of here! And your, your hovering isn't making anything better!"

Loki listens silently as [Y/N] starts to shout, angry tears streaking down her face, releasing everything she has felt for the past three days. He also remembers the last time she shouted. Hopefully she will not panic as much once she stops. As she shouts, Loki considers the reason behind her wrath.

"I get that you're trying to 'help me' or whatever bull crap you've been on about this entire fricking time, but I don't need this crap! I don't need a fricking suicide watch! I fricking told you that I'm not suicidal, I don't want to fricking die! Good heavens, whatever happened to being the fricking God of Lies or whatever fricking crap you're supposed to be?! I meant it, I fricking don't want to die!" [Y/N] throws her arms up in the air, rolling her eyes, apple slices long since abandoned. "I don't need everyone freaking out just because I tried to actually do crap! And I don't give a crap that no one liked it, at least I fricking did something! But, no, everyone is convinced that I'm about two seconds away from slitting my throat at any given moment!"

Everyone? Loki wonders as [Y/N] shifts to the plural. Must be the Avengers worried to death. Understandably so.

"I would appreciate it if everyone would fricking listen for once when I say I'm not fricking suicidal! I don't need the hovering or the fricking stupid lectures about how I have so much to live for or the looks of pity or any of that fricking stupid crap! It's making everything worse! My problem isn't that I'm suicidal, but this crap you're pulling is adding a fricking massive problem to my plate! Why the frick won't anyone listen to me?!" [Y/N] leans against the table, face buried in her hands, sobbing.

After a moment of silence only broken by [Y/N]'s sobs, Loki slowly steps forward. She flinches slightly when she hears Loki pulling out a chair for himself but doesn't otherwise move. He pauses a moment, searching for words sufficient for such a solemn conversation. "I am listening," he finally says. My words aren't what matter now, only hers. Loki leans forward, a sad smile gracing his lips. "I apologize for causing such pain."

[Y/N] meets his eyes for the first time for half a second before looking down again. "Just, please, stop it with the hovering. I won't hurt myself, I promise," she whispers.

"I will," Loki assures. He lifts the paring knife by its blade, holding it for [Y/N] to take the handle. I will worry, but I won't allow my concern to hurt you. After a moment she gingerly takes the knife, looking at it for a moment before setting it down again, leaving Loki to hope she understood the symbolism in the gesture. "Is there anything else I can do to help, dearest?"

[Y/N] sharply inhales. "If we're on the topic of things you can stop, stop it with the nicknames. You're not my friend, you don't get to call me whatever you want. I don't know what it's like on Asgard, but here it's patronizing and sexist."

"Very well, [Y/N]. My apologies for the disrespect. Anything else I can do for you?" Loki responds. She has gone almost two months without saying a word on this. Did she only just now feel that I would respect this wish? At least she is saying something now. "Anything else?"

[Y/N] shakes her head, wiping her tears before folding her arms. "Thank you," she whispers.

"No need to thank me for mending what I have done to hurt you. I am the one that must thank you for telling me. You can always tell me whenever I do anything to disrespect or harm you." Loki stands, apple in hand. "You know that I do not wish to see you in harm's way, and that I strive to create a comfortable environment for you. Tell me when my efforts are harmful rather than comforting." [Y/N] nods in response, sniffling.

Loki gives her a final sad smile before leaving the room, giving her space. Hopefully she doesn't panic over the shouting. She reacted better today, and told me not to do specific actions. A massive improvement. I can only hope that she doesn't tear herself apart over daring to raise her voice. Loki will never forget how she immediately shielded her face and stepped back when he moved ever so slightly closer to her. Nor will he forget how she broke down in tears, begging for forgiveness, falling to her knees, incapable of understanding that he wasn't angry, sobbing on his shoulder. A mere fraction of the times [Y/N] has been terrified, now burned into his memory. Loki can only hope to avoid a repeat.

He steps inside his bedroom, grabbing the book [Y/N] had recommended. He remembers each recommendation of hers and has enjoyed them all thus far. Now he has started Dragonflight, the first book in a series by Anne McCaffrey. The premise is already interesting enough, a blend of Midgardian fantasy and science fiction. A planet that has lost its advanced technology centuries prior, the only remnants being the dragons genetically engineered when humanity first arrived on what was then an uninhabited dragon to combat its unique dangers. The story itself is interesting as the main characters prepare to combat the Thread, a threat long assumed to never return by the majority of the population. Loki reads, passing time for [Y/N] to process what happened on her own. He can only hope so much. For now all he can do is wait and allow [Y/N] time.

Your POV

It's alright, it's alright, you try to tell yourself as you wash the paring knife, holding back tears. You set it in the drying rack before grabbing your plate of apple slices and peanut butter to take with you to the bedroom. Loki isn't upset or angry, and even if he is he won't hurt me. He isn't angry, it's only that I can't shout at anyone without thinking of before. Logically speaking you know that to be true, but the tears flow regardless. The disconnect between your rational thought and irrational emotions is too wide.

You lock the door behind you, setting the plate down on the desk before curling up on the window sill, sobbing. Shadow jumps down from where she had perched on the shelf, crawling onto your lap. You scratch that spot behind her ears that makes her melt. "Thanks for the comfort," you whisper to her as she purrs.

After some time to glance at your phone on the desk. I guess I should tell them the same thing now.