Chapter Text
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife. Or husband. Or anything. As long as it gets Moira Rose off the backs of her children.
David and Alexis Rose, according to Moira Rose at least, had passed the age that they would still be desirable. That their opportunity for marriage was slipping through their fingers.
Two years prior of course their circumstances were greatly different. The Rose family were rich, and by extension the Rose children would always have a line of suitors vying for their affections. Both David and Alexis enjoyed the attentions that came with a family fortune. There was no pressure to marry then. They could wait and do what they liked. No clock ticking down until they were no longer wanted. Someone would always be willing to marry them, as long as the money was there. They were able to sit back and enjoy themselves, no concern for the future.
However, once the money was gone, they were forced to move to Rosebourn, a modest holdings in the town of Schitt’s Creek, completely removed from their prior social circles. Everything from their old life, other than the clothes they were able to take with them, was gone. Stevie Budd, a distant cousin, who became more like a sister, had been living with them since their fall from grace, received some pressures from Moira about marriage but not nearly enough as her biological children. She was more than happy to avoid the pressures and derision that David and Alexis suffered each time a social event passed without the prospect of a proposal.
***
‘Elmfield Park has been let,’ Moira Rose’s scream reverberated through the house. David, Alexis and Stevie were sitting the the parlour when they first heard the news via their mother’s screeched announcement.
‘What?’ David said, sitting up from the lounge he was laid across as Moira burst into the room.
‘Elmfield Park has been let,’ she repeated, just as loudly as before, ‘a bachelor, Ted Mullens. Worth five thousand a year has taken up residence for the summer.’ David noticed Alexis sitting up straighter in her chair as their mother spoke.
‘So what?’ David fell back onto the lounge, picking up the book he had been reading.
‘So what? Honestly David. With that attitude no one will ever marry you and then where will you be?’ Moira shook her head at her eldest, ‘Alexis though. You didn’t inherit my looks not the attract a suitor. Even in our reduced position you will attract a man of standing.’ Alexis blushed, running her fingers through her long hair.
‘So who is this guy anyway?’ Alexis said, clearly trying not to look too keen. They learned very quickly that the last thing any of them should do in front of Moira Rose was show any interest in an eligible bachelor.
‘John!’ Moira shouted, poking her head out the door as she called her husband. A few moments later Johnny Rose appeared in the doorway, he held a newspaper in his hand.
‘Yes dear?’ he asked as he took a seat at the table beside Stevie.
‘You must go to Elmfield Park and make an acquaintance with Ted Mullens. Without that we will not be able to attend there socially,’ Moira paced the room, Johnny went back to reading the paper.
‘Is that really necessary?’ Johnny asked, the paper hiding his face.
‘Necessary?!’ Moira slapped the paper from his hands, ‘you have three children to care for. Once you leave us John where will your children be?’ Stevie still found herself blushing at being counted as one of the Rose children but she would never admit how happy it made her.
‘I think our children will be fine Moira,’ Johnny attempted to collect the paper again.
‘Fine? When that Roland Schitt comes to reclaim the roof over our head when you are barely cold in the ground? Fine? When we have no means to care for ourselves? Fine? When---’ Moira threw herself onto the lounge opposite David and continued her rant. Once Johnny Rose died, Rosebourn and all the income associated with it would pass to their distant cousin, Roland Schitt. This fact had become the bane of Moira’s existence since their arrival in town. She hated the thought that she would lose everything to that man.
‘I can hardly go and make his acquaintance Moira,’ Johnny spoke, disappearing behind the paper again.
‘And why the hell not Mr Rose?’ they knew she was angry when she referred to her husband by his last name. Stevie was the person to spot it, the almost imperceptible smirk on his face, the way his eyebrows adjusted just so to indicate the joke.
‘Because I already went and saw Ted this morning,’ Johnny spoke calmly. It took a moment for Moira to register what he had said, but once she did she threw herself off the lounge and into her husband's arms, the paper squashed awkwardly between them.
‘Oh John. I should have known that you wouldn’t leave us destitute,’ she kissed his cheek, leaving red lipstick marks.
‘Ok Moira,’ he patted his wife gently on the back.
‘Tell us everything,’ Moira said pulling up a chair beside her husband. David had stopped reading his book and sat up slightly. Stevie smoothed the newspaper down that was now on the table but she was clearly interested. Alexis moved closer too.
Moira was right, Ted Mullens had moved into Elmfield for the summer. He was a bachelor worth five thousand a year, a sum that would keep any of the Rose children comfortably. He was to stay for the duration of the summer and had bought with him his sister Rachel Mullens, and best friend Patrick Brewer. Little was known of the other two as prospective partners for the Rose children, so Moira focused on Ted, her greatest opportunity to marry off one of her children. She knew just one marriage to a man with that amount of income would protect all of her children and herself from a future of poverty, as long as the man had temperament enough to support his spouse’s family.
***
Two days after the news of Ted Mullens arrival in Schitt’s Creek a public ball was held. Moira excitedly discussed whether Ted would attend, lecturing Alexis that she must wear her best dress, to ensure that she would catch his eye. Alexis rolled her eyes and swore she wasn’t bothered by the arrival, but David noticed her fixing her hair more than usual as they prepared to leave.
She wore a long evening dress, made of fine floral silk, a relic of their days of wealth. She braided her hair so it fell down her left shoulder. She wore a matching bonnet with silver ribbon.
Stevie wore a much simpler dress of red and grey. She left her dark hair hanging down across her shoulders. Her bonnet was simple, discrete, much like Stevie herself.
David wore his traditional black and white colours. His breeches were black, shirt a crisp white. His jacket was black with a white pattern spreading across the fabric. His cravat was black silk. He forwent the top hat, deciding that it wasn’t necessary at a public ball.
Johnny and Moira wore bold outfits of black and white. The feather on Moira’s bonnet curved around and touched the lower half of her back.
When they lost their money their outfits was one of the few things that they had managed to retain. Two years later they all still refused to change how they dressed, it was the final connection to their past lives and none of them seemed ready to let it go.
***
The ball was well underway when the doors flew open and a trio of strangers walked in. The benefit, or problem perhaps, of small towns was that everyone knew everyone.
As the three newcomers walked across the room word quickly spread.
‘Who’s that?’ David asked.
‘I think that’s Ted Mullens in the middle,’ Alexis commented. Ted wore white breeches and a light green coat. David glanced at Alexis who couldn’t seem to take her eyes off Ted.
‘That must be his sister then… Rachel,’ Stevie pointed. To Ted’s left was a cute woman, with long reddish hair, pulled back into an intricate braid. She wore a deep maroon dress.
But David found his eyes being drawn to Ted’s right. David searched his memory trying to remember the man’s name.
Thankfully Alexis provided it before too long, ‘And Patrick Brewer… Patrick is his friend.’
Patrick wore a deep blue coat and grey breeches. His hair was about two inches long, curling slightly. David couldn’t help but look at his brown eyes and think instantly how gentle they looked.
‘He doesn’t look happy to be here,’ David commented as he watched Patrick’s eyes dart nervously around the room.
‘I doubt these type of balls are his thing. He’s apparently worth ten thousand a year and owns half of Thornbridge. He’s a pretty eligible bachelor,’ Stevie replied.
‘The miserable half I guess,’ David replied. David forced his eyes elsewhere in the room as the trio walked by them.
***
It didn’t take long after the newcomers had arrived for Ted to ask Alexis to dance. David watched Alexis move on the dance floor with Ted. David knew his sister well enough to recognise the attraction in her eyes as she looked at Ted.
Unfortunately for Alexis, as Ted asked to dance with her the second time, Moira noticed too. David knew that was all they would be hearing about for the foreseeable future.
***
David leaned against a pillar, heady from the music.
‘Alexis is beautiful,’ he heard Ted state. David froze, both not wanting to be caught listening and wanting to hear it all.
‘She definitely draws the attention of the room,’ it was Patrick that spoke this time.
‘She is magnetic,’ Ted agreed. David wasn’t completely sure that was what Patrick had meant.
‘What about her brother?’ Ted stated, ‘he’s an interesting character.’ David’s interest peaked hearing his own name.
‘I wonder what type of person he attracts,’ Patrick said. What type of person he attracts , the words rattled around in David’s head. Annoyance bubbled up inside David. Annoyance that someone could make assumptions about David without having ever spoken to him.
‘No one's danced with him tonight. Perhaps you should ask him Patrick?’ Ted suggested.
‘Oh… I don’t think so,’ Patrick said, ‘I don’t… that’s not a good idea.’ David felt himself going red with annoyance and embarrassment.
Ted and Patrick moved away, allowing David the opportunity the move away and rejoin Stevie in the corner.
‘What a dick,’ David said throwing himself into a seat.
‘Who?’ Stevie asked.
‘That guy,’ David indicated with his head. Stevie looked out onto the main floor, swarming with people.
What guy?’ Stevie pressed.
‘That Patrick Brewer guy,’ David adjusted his jacket in frustration.
‘What? Why?’ Stevie turned in her seat to look at David.
‘He said I’m the type of guy who attracts losers,’ David huffed.
‘He said that? To your face?’ Stevie joined David in feeling annoyed.
‘I overheard him,’ David corrected.
‘And he said you attract losers?’ Stevie said.
‘Well sort of,’ David looked out into the crowd.
‘Sort of?’ Stevies brow creased.
‘Yeah… he asked Ted what kind of person would be attracted to me,’ David said looking down at his hands.
Stevie just stared at David, shaking her head.
‘I need a drink,’ Stevie stood and headed into the crowd. David stood and quickly followed, deciding that a drink would help calm him.
‘David. Stevie,’ Alexis called, he looked over and saw her standing with Moira, Ted and Patrick.
‘Oh god,’ he muttered under his breath. Stevie patted his arm as they walked over to the trio.
‘Hi,’ David said, purposefully avoiding looking away from Patrick.
‘I was just telling them about how fun the balls here are,’ Alexis said, something in her eyes screamed help me . David glanced between Moira and Ted and quickly understood the situation.
‘Oh… so fun,’ Stevie nodded along with Alexis.
‘Alexis is always so popular at the balls,’ David said snidely.
‘Alexis has always drawn her share of admirers,’ Moira said apparently oblivious of how her words sounded, ‘we’ve thought that she would receive a proposal a number of times, but it wasn’t to be.’
‘Oh my god,’ Alexis and David said in unison.
‘She can’t have been born this beautiful for nothing,’ Moira added.
‘Yes well, Mutt kept reading poetry to me. Eww,’ Alexis waved her hands in disgust. Ted stared happily at her, apparently unaware of the conversation happening around him.
‘Isn’t poetry meant to be the food of love?’ Patrick asked. David finally turned to him.
‘What? No! There’s nothing less attractive than someone trying to read poetry to you. Except maybe improv,’ David said.
‘So what should people do then? To attract a partner,’ Patrick asked, his voice sounding nervous.
David narrowed his eyes slightly, eyeing Patrick, before speaking, ‘dancing.’ And with the slightest of bows he turned and left, pleased with himself that he was able to get back slightly at Patrick for what he had said.
***
That night as they readied themselves for bed Alexis could talk of nothing else but the ball, and especially of Ted.
‘And then he asked me to dance a second time,’ Alexis said as she climbed into bed.
‘Oh my god. I know Alexis. You’ve already told me like four times already,’ David said sinking further into the mattress.
‘I’m just saying David,’ Alexis snapped at him.
‘Well you better not let mom hear you talk like that. You’ll never get her off your back,’ David said.
‘Well what about Patrick. He’s cute,’ Alexis shook her shoulders at David.
‘Good for Patrick,’ David replied.
‘Well he wouldn’t dance with any of the singles there tonight. Maybe his interests were elsewhere,’ Alexis stared sharply at David.
‘What? No. He was rude. Anyway did you see the cut of his jacket? A guy like that wouldn’t be interested in me,’ David rolled his eyes at Alexis.
‘Ten thousand a year David,’ Alexis said using her best Moira Rose impersonation.
‘Gross Alexis,’ David groaned as he rolled over away from his sister. But that night David dreamt of a deep blue jacket and gentle brown eyes.