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Dry Humor With Pulp

Summary:

Gavin's unhealthy coping mechanisms and being enabled can only keep him together for so long.

Vent fic.

Notes:

As prefaced in the summary, this is a vent fic. I wrote it in one night and after months of sitting on it and some editing later I've decided to actually post it. If I miss some themes let me know and I'll add the tag for it.

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Gavin woke up to his cat batting at his head. Spare Jingle, an orange tabby, meowed at him and circled his pillow before sitting down on some of his hair. Grumbling Gavin sat up examining the state of his bed. It was a mess as usual, except for the right side which had its covers neatly tucked in and pillow pressed firmly at the head of the bed.

Nines. Of course he would make his half of the bed. Gavin swung his legs over the side and scratched at Spare Jingle’s head as he looked for his scattered clothes. He found his briefs and a pair of sweatpants and nothing else. Not even RK900’s clothes were around.

He wasn’t that surprised. Nines seemed like the type to leave as quickly and quietly as possible, trying to keep his dignity. Then again, Gavin wouldn’t be surprised if Nines woke up him to tell him he was leaving. Gavin grinned, yeah. That would be more of his thing.

Meowing at his feet, Spare Jingle trotted towards his bedroom door leaving a path for Gavin to follow. Now what greeted him in the kitchen surprised him. Standing stiff as a ruler as always Nines stood by his oven cooking something in a small pan. He was fully clothed, even his long grey coat which Gavin minutely thought of a fire hazard. What kind of person would wear sleeves while cooking? Apparently, no person at all, only an android.

“Good morning. I don’t know how you like your eggs,” Nines turned off the heat and spatula’d the egg onto a plate, “so I hope ‘over easy’ is fine with you.”

Gavin walked over to the island where Nines put his plate. And fork. And salt and pepper. And a glass of orange juice making whole scene look like a commercial.

The orange juice with pulp of course, just like God intended.

“You... don’t need to do this.” Gavin tried out, tasting the words carefully. He felt like he was walking through a surreal dream. Like at any moment now he’d fall through the floor and wake up just before he hit ground he couldn’t see. Gavin sat down and spread some pepper over the egg. “I mean—”

God. He didn’t know how to go about this. How the fuck do you explain to an android how to act after a one-night stand? It was just one of those unwritten rules. Gavin even told him this was going to be a one time deal. ‘Cause he was stressed and Nines offered and oh fuck this was a terrible idea.

Cursing himself for being so weak, he took a bite of the egg. It was good, nothing to be impressed about. But Nines kept staring at him with that steel face of his. Gavin decided after staring right back at him and taking a sip of orange juice, that the whole ‘one-night stand’ etiquette was overrated. If he got breakfast out of the deal he should’ve started sleeping with Nines earlier.

Then again, this was probably because Nines didn’t know the unwritten rules. This was Nines being carefully polite because that was what he did. Do no harm, but take no shit, seemed to be his doctrine. “Well thanks for food. And dick.” Gavin grinned and shoved the last remains of the egg into his mouth.

Nines squinted and didn’t say anything. Which was fine, half the jokes Gavin told didn’t get a response. Though Nines was in particular tricky since any resemblance of an emotion only came from his eyes. Even his smile seemed to be an elusive creature—his face was always at a slight frown no matter what happened.

Suddenly, Nines’ LED flashed yellow a few times. Nines blinked then turned away to put the pan in the sink. “I’ve received a call to a crime scene. No doubt you’ll get your call soon too so I would get in a shower if I were you.”

Gavin leaned back in his chair, dangerously teetering on the edge of falling backwards. Nines put away the carton of eggs and watched the chair. “Y’know.” Gavin clicked. “You could join me.”

Nines didn’t react, he stared at the dirty tile and Gavin got the urge to get up and shout right in his face. If there was anything he truly hated it was being ignored, luckily Nines never did it intentionally. He was waiting. Still, Gavin couldn’t get rid of the feeling. A moment later, his LED flickered yellow. “While I appreciate the offer I think this would break the terms of our contract you set last night.” Wow, making me breakfast wasn’t? Nines met his eye and his LED returned to a soft blue. “Besides, I’d rather have one of us be late—not both.”

Gavin tapped his fork against the empty plate. “Mighty presumptuous of you.”

“I’m not being presumptuous. There’s a 98% probability you would turn the situation from us getting clean to us getting dirty.” Jesus, everything mundane coming out of his mouth sounded hot.

“There’s that two percent.” Gavin tried to argue, finishing his glass.

Something devious flashed in RK900’s eye. “That two percent is for you simply fondling my ass.”

Gavin scoffed and licked his lips to continue the sweet banter, but Nines was already walking away towards his front door. He looked back briefly and said, “See you soon.” and then left. Gavin sighed and leaned back in his chair again.

-

The first person he saw was Tina when he arrived at the scene. She stood right outside on the porch step of the rotting down house. When she looked up she smiled. “Hey fucker. Nice to see your ugly mug around.”

Gavin jogged up with his hands in his pockets. “You really know how to make a man happy, T.”

“I really don’t. The ratio of—” she put her hands to the left like she was holding a box, “—men I’ve made cry tears of joy and—” she put her hands to the right, “—women I’ve made cry tears of joy is very skewed.” Both of them snickered and Gavin opened his mouth, another lewd comment to follow suit, but he was cut off by a wail.

On the cracked and weed ridden driveway an older woman cried out and fell to her knees sobbing. Her whole frail body shook like a leaf and the two nearby rookies struggled to keep her calm.

Tina turned away from her and stared at the open door. “Anyway.” she drawled, suddenly tense. “Nines is inside. It looks to be a robbery and murder.” Gavin squinted and looked at the state of the house, “Really?” he murmured and stepped into the gaping darkness that greeted him.

Sure enough Nines was there already circling around from place to place much like the flies circling the corpse in the middle of the room. And just like the flies, licking whatever when he stopped. Gavin ignored him for now and went straight to the body.

He was somewhere between forty to fifty-five years old, heavier set, and, “God. He looks like he got his clothes from a dumpster. Hey you!” Gavin nodded towards a cop by the fireplace who turned towards him at the shout. “How long has this man been here?”

A voice of stone answered him. “45 hours.”

Gavin jumped, “Jesus Christ.” And turned around to see Nines hovering over him.

Having sex with the killer robot didn’t make him any less scary. “Could you warn me next time you sneak up on me?”

“My apologies.” Nines nodded, not sounding like he would keep that promise at all. He stepped aside and watched the body, “Benjamin Ruby, fifty-seven years old. Missing persons report was issued for him a week ago.” Slower now, Nines circled the corpse. His silver eyes never left Ruby.

“The carcass isn’t going anywhere Nines.”

RK900 glanced up at him and continued, “He was stabbed in the throat, a sliced common carotid led to his demise. The positions of his hands around his neck suggest two things. One, surprise; the victim did not see the attacker and two, a struggle; the attacker pulled the victim down to the floor from behind.”

Tina came in and started speaking to one of the rookies. She glanced over at Gavin and wiggled her eyebrows. Gavin wiggled his back.

“Mr. Ruby was snuck up on. Considering he was missing for five days before he died he may have resided here until someone came in.”

“Oh, so the poor fucker got stabbed trying to leave his wife.” Gavin dramatically shook his head.

Tina huffed and called out to him. She didn’t hide the eagerness in her voice, a chance to make fun of Reed was too good. Who would pass up on that? “What the fuck is wrong with you. His wife is right outside you wanna explain that to her?” She flipped her notebook so that it was closed and walked over to them. “Anyway I gotta get back to the station, you two seem to have this covered.”

Gavin looked up at Nines, another joke on his tongue, but the remark died soon as he met his eye. Nines was staring. Again. Gavin’s face twisted into a snarl, “Hey could you quit it with the fucking staring?” He knew Nines as a sort of an observer, but this was starting to get annoying. Was he watching this much before? No—Gavin had to have noticed that. This had to be a consequence of their night together. Nines was deviant so maybe he accidentally downloaded affection. Shit. Gavin couldn’t handle the tin can catching feelings for him.

No one deserved that.

Gavin sniffed and attempted a shoulder check on his way out of the house. Nines stood like a wall so he bounced off and cursed. “Whatever. You can stare all you like at the dead body.”

-

A week later Gavin was cornered by Nines in the breakroom. Right when he was at his most vulnerable, making his first cup of coffee.

Out of the corner of his eye, Gavin watched Nines walk up with his hands in his coat pockets. He stood by the coffee machine for a moment before deciding to lean against the counter, attempting to look suave. Which, to his right, he did despite the awkward entrance. Gavin scowled and tightened his folded arms.

“Why is your cat called ‘Spare Jingle’?”

He sighed. “I’m trying to get some coffee. Can’t you do this later? Or not at all?”

“I’m trying to figure out why your cat is called Spare Jingle. ‘Spare’ implies there was an original. Why was Jingle named that way?”

“Jesus tin can.” Gavin took the filled pot and started pouring some of it into a small paper cup. Nines never asked about his cat before or hell—anything personal before. That stupid one-night stand was a fucking horrible idea. “Listen Nines you never cared about me or what I did before. And I was okay with that and now you’re treading on thin fucking ice.”

Nines, as always, looked indifferent. “I knew approaching you before had an 80% probability of you attempting to fight me, but I think us having sex has only improved our relationship.”

Did—did he hear that right? Also this sure as shit wasn’t the time or place to be having this conversation. Gavin quickly looked around, trying to see if anyone over heard.

The TV continued with its drawl and officers nearby paid them no attention as Gavin stirred in sugar. “You have not started a fight with me since.” Nines said, with a bit of awe in his voice. “I think we should start to actually get to know each other now.” He leaned in and Gavin pulled away, holding his cup close to his chest. “You of course need to cooperate with me on this and stop running away every time I’m quiet.” Nines’ voice dripped with discontent.

At that he turned away back to his desk ignoring Gavin’s scowl. “Yeah great pep talk.” he spat, following him. “How about a compromise.”

“Wasn’t aware you were capable of those.”

“Shut up. You quit staring at me and I’ll answer one question.”

Nines connected to his desktop, Gavin had no doubt he could multitask both work and conversation yet part of Gavin wanted his complete attention for this simple conversation. Gavin pushed that part of him far far down and tried not to get angry at himself for his contradiction. “I’m scanning you, so it’s for a reason. And I won’t agree to those terms.”

Gavin kicked his feet up on his desk and realized that he had to treat this situation differently than any other. He’d never had a partner like this, Nines wasn’t human but that wasn’t the problem. Not anymore.

Nines liked to provoke and tease him. Gavin liked any excuse to start a fight, but not ending them. Through the occasional bloody nose and shoves up against the wall Gavin decided to listen to his dick and ask Nines a question. He didn’t know what was stranger, that he said yes or that it was Nines and he was good in bed. He was also Gavin’s partner and had taken advantage of Gavin’s lack of vitriol after.

Nines could get under his skin and get close. That thought terrified him.

-

RK900 [10:23 pm]: I need you to retrieve me from the Rexford crime scene.

According to Tina, shit went down at the Rexford’s family home while it was being investigated and those who were there got put under fire. They suspected that those who murdered the Rexfords returned to take the evidence and the cops investigating it.

Other than that Gavin knew nothing more. He already got the call from Fowler to make sure Nines was safe and to help in any way he could while he was over there. Gavin, unsure of the state of things, broke nearly every speed limit on his way over. Nines hadn’t answered the texts he sent earlier.

Gavin Reed [10:10 pm]: Tin can, u good? I heard about the shooting.

Gavin Reed [10:12 pm]: your ass better not be dead when I get there.

The dickhead, with no regard to Gavin’s anxiety or worry, replied with a short request. No, I’m fine. or It’s okay. Only a command that Gavin was going to follow because despite how much he hated Nines for knowing him too well, Gavin still cared about him.

The crime scene was way out in the boonies, so everything was hidden away in inky night save for the street lights. Cop cars and ambulances flashed blue and red upon the buildings and open forest. Gavin scanned face after face looking for a small light paired with a grey coat. At the very end of the street he found who he was looking for.

Under an amber light a red dot stood out. Nines was still and stiff and as Gavin drove up to the curb he could see a bloom of blue dead center of his chest. Nines slowly stepped out of the spotlight and entered the car without a word. His mouth was slightly open, looking like a dead fish rather than the Nines he knew. He also lacked the furrow of mild disappointment on his brow. They sat in silence for a minute as Gavin watched Nines curiously. Hypocrite, Gavin chided himself.

“Please take me home.” His voice hushed with static and it sounded too loud in the car.

Gavin bit his tongue, knowing better than to ask him if he was okay. It was a stupid question and Gavin feared what it would start. The more distant he was, the better it was for everyone involved.

So he took the car out of park and drove. Nines’ address was already in the car, but for the sake of doing something other than sitting in an awkward silence he kept it off autopilot.

As far as Gavin knew, Nines had been deviant for two months. In many ways he still acted like a machine, less with how he spoke, more with his expressions. Nines didn’t give a shit about what people thought which Gavin both hated and loved about him. Here, now, with his bottom lip quivering ever so slightly when Gavin glanced over was the first time he’d ever saw fear on his face.

Gavin wondered what exactly happened to Nines for him to be so shaken up. Curiosity didn’t stretch so far as to ask, but it did spread to wonder. The blue blood looked like it came from the center of his chest, around his thirium pump. Nines was still standing though and Gavin knew that a bullet would be stopped by his chassis. He really shouldn’t be hurt.

But that dead look in Nines’ eye told Gavin that whatever happened to him wasn’t physical. Was he threatened? What would RK900 be afraid of?

Soon enough Gavin pulled into a small parking lot in front of a repurposed building for android housing. His damn LED was still a bright red.

Gavin licked his lips and decided to take a leap of faith, “Do… you need anything?” he quirked an eyebrow and waited with bated breath.

Nines looked over at him and pursed his lips. “I—no. I’m fine. Thank you for the ride.”

He looked lost.

Nines fumbled for the handle and pushed the door wide open, taking his time to get out. Nines didn’t look back as he strided towards the front door.

-

Just before work, he got a call from the Detroit Receiving Hospital about his mother. There was an accident on the interstate and there was only one emergency contact that the hospital had with her.

Gavin refused to call anyone after that. He simply drove to work as always and made a beeline for the coffee machine. Officers nearby milled about chatting about their weekends which no one cared about. Tina leaned against the counter and drained her paper cup of coffee before turning back to Brown. “God I remember waking up at six am for a soccer game at eight when I was in grade school. And of course my parents had to wake me up for it. I don’t envy you dude.” She shook her head.

There wasn’t any fucking coffee in the god damn pot. He turned towards the catalysts, who were ignoring him. “Yeah, Saturday was rough. My son lost too so he wasn’t in the best mood for the rest of the day.”

“Jesus Christ, could you two talk about anything more boring?” Both of them stalled, like a paper airplane caught in the wrong wind. “I’ve seen infomercials more entertaining than this, if you’re gonna talk about your weekend at least say something fun even if it’s a lie.”

Tina smirked, but saw Gavin’s tense shoulders and the genuine anger that was laced in there. Instead of playing along she chided, “Who pissed in your Cheerios this morning, huh? If you’re that angry about the coffee, just make the fucking pot. RK900 isn’t going to do it for you.”

Officer Brown wasn’t impressed, he simply sighed and called a mute, “See you later Chen.” to Tina as he left the break room. She dropped the cup in a trash can and followed right after.

The rest of the day wasn’t much better.

RK900 had to restrain him from landing a hit on another officer. Still—the act of throwing a punch landed him in Fowler’s office and it took every ounce of willpower he had to not talk back at him. At lunch, he got back to his desk to discover the jackass who made his sandwich put tomatoes on it—which he was allergic to. He ended up picking up a bag of chips at the vending machine.

He yelled at two more people, got off scot-free somehow, and when home soon as he was able to. Gavin liked his work and RK900 tended to stay with him after hours, together they’ve clocked enough overtime to put anyone else in the department to shame. The exception to their habit was the night after they had sex. That evening, Nines questioned him about his leave since normally he would have to be forced to go home. Leaving early got consistent after that. Every time Gavin decided to go home when his shift ended, Nines asked why he was taking off so early.

And every time he’d give a shitty excuse like routine. Things had changed, couldn’t he see that? Tonight, Gavin ignored him when Nines asked that damned question. He told himself he didn’t want to give Nines the opportunity to talk about their night together.

RK900 watched him leave with a bright yellow LED, fluorescent lights casting shadows on him at odd angles.

-

Gavin decided to get drunk.

He settled on an obscure, rundown, hole-in-the-wall, pub on the border between poverty and innovation. Inside was even more depressing than the sight of Detroit wasting away outside, it was clear this was the place for drug drop offs. Not that Gavin cared about that shit at the moment, his mind was elsewhere and wasn’t looking at the patrons who were watching him carefully as he strode in. There were a handful of people in the dimly lit bar, all having their backs turned away from each other.

Gavin made a beeline for the bartender and ordered a shot of whiskey. She complied and maybe it was the way he stood there with his hair a mess with the wind or with his already bruised knuckles, but the bartender stayed and didn’t put down the bottle of whiskey. Gavin ordered another shot and took a moment to let the alcohol simmer. He sighed, ran a hand through his hair—messing it up further—and fumbled for his wallet as he ordered another shot. Gavin was intent on getting wasted wasted. Not like he had work tomorrow.

This time he took a beer with it, already forgetting what he ordered the minute the name left his lips. She didn’t say anything, perhaps she was used to this behavior from other customers. Gingerly now, he took his glass of something golden and turned away to seek out a chair. Unfortunately he ran right into a meathead who stood slightly taller than him and looked twice as buff. With a low gravelly voice he began, “Hey, Cop—” And stopped since Gavin’s beer spilled all over his muscle tee and jeans.

Gavin was pushed back into the barside, the edge digging painfully into his lower back and he acted on instinct. He was already having a shitty day, might as well get his anger out without consequence.

So he dropped the glass with a quarter left of beer in it to the floor where it raddled loudly. Surprisingly, it didn’t break. The same couldn’t be said for Gavin’s nose a second later. He recoiled further, nearly onto the bartop until he was grabbed by his v-neck and pulled back. In a drunken and painful haze he found himself being dragged out into the empty street by Mr. Muscles McGee. Once Gavin found his footing again, he clawed at the hand dragging him along until it dropped him onto the asphalt. His mind, slow and unprepared, couldn’t break his fall and he crashed down causing cuts to appear on his hands and face.

Immediately wetness seeped through his clothes—oh, it was raining. His nose still bled like a faucet, but luckily the initial tears from the hit were slowly dissipating. Gavin rolled away, caking more dirt onto his jacket, and got back up. Like a bull seeing red, once he found the bastard who caused his face to look even more like shit Gavin yelled and charged. But just before he began his assault he was pulled back from behind. Something had an iron grip on the collar of his jacket and yanked him back, nearly choking him.

Things went into a blurly spiral for a second, alcohol sloshing around in an empty stomach did not appreciate the brawl or how he was tossed around. The rain didn’t help either, it was getting in his eyes making things impossible to see. A second later or maybe a few minutes—he couldn’t tell—there was an insistent tug on his arm leading him somewhere.

Gavin felt the rain stop and he wiped water and blood away from his eyes. The best he could anyway and found Nines standing before him, damp from the dark summer storm. His LED was flashing red and to be honest, it was hard on the eyes so Gavin groggily looked away. He needed to stop spinning.

He jut an arm out and found a wall. Once things slowed down and he felt less like throwing up, the realization hit him. Gavin hoarsely whispered, “You phcking plastic prick. I could’ve handled that myself,” dazed, he walked back into the street looking around for the meathead, “in fact where is the fucker. I want to end him.” He expected Nines to draw him back under the shade, but to his surprise, Gavin was let free. He stumbled slightly, one hand clutching his broken nose and wiping away rain from his eyes, the other readied in a fist protecting his stomach.

There were soft footsteps behind him. Gavin refused to look at Nines so he kept his meaningless search on the street.

“I know about your mother.”

The remark made him shiver and gag a little. RK900, the thorn in his side, fucking looked up his mom’s death. What special kind of asshole do you have to be for that? And for bringing it up?

Gavin spat away some blood and swallowed down bile. He kept his focus down the road and stayed like that even when Nines stepped into his view. Even after a fistfight, Nines still had his resting bitchface on. His hair was black under the rain and his grey eyes caught the limited light on the street causing them to glow. Or maybe that was his imagination. Whatever, they were bright… with, something.

Was he judging him for getting wasted? He was probably judging him for getting wasted. Gavin nodded his head up in defiance, even now he wouldn’t bow down before his partner. So he decided to play ignorant. “Hey alcoholism doesn’t run in the family. I got drunk without help.” He said, with a bloody grin, already chuckling. A poor joke, barely understandable, but it avoided confrontation. Eventually Nines would get sick of Gavin’s deflections and just take him home.

But, at the crude and odd remark Nines’ face twisted. It was like something clicked for him. His jaw dropped slightly, his eyes furrowed and glistened again, and he shook his head slightly. It was pure shock and sadness rolled into one and Gavin had never saw this much emotion from Nines, not even when they were having sex. It was the most human he’d ever saw him and Gavin thought he was dreaming.

Nines kept eye contact and asked, honestly, “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

The boldness of the question struck Gavin like he was dumped in freezing water. It wasn’t with a teasing smile. There was no ‘joke’ to be found, nothing Gavin could take and throw back. All he could do is let the truth of the question settle in his heart. Nines was always bold so the fact that he asked it didn’t really bother him, it was how he said it.

All of Gavin’s repressed emotions started to bubble and he bit them down. He didn’t want this. Not here. Not now.

But there was nowhere to hide.

Nines’ face shifted again, he blinked multiple times before he came to a realization, “At the Rexford crime scene I was shot in the Thirium pump. My cassis is built to survive gunfire so the bullet didn’t truly damage anything, but I was still shot.” The rain continued overhead at a steady pace. Nines didn’t need to speak over it. “I realized right after that it could have been you, and you would have died instantly. From that distance and from that caliber of the bullet—even a vest wouldn’t have helped you.”

“—Sh-shut up.” He couldn’t hear this. Gavin could tell by the tone of Nines’ voice where this was going. He knew because he had been on that same train of thought before and it was ugly enough to be shunned. Gavin was already wavering and his whole body was tight like a string.

“I was terrified over the fact that it could’ve been you there. Would’ve.” Nines dropped his voice to a whisper and his eyes went glossy, “Have you ever felt that fear? The anticipation of what could have happened if your partner died?”

And just like that, the thread snapped. Tears, blending in with rain, flowed without his permission. He couldn’t let the rest of the dam flow, he couldn’t let Nines see him like this—anyone, like this. Gavin was furious with himself for letting this shit happen. Maybe he should’ve transferred precincts that way there was no one that cared about him. God he was such a fucking hypocrite, Gavin let himself fall for the android and refused to let the android care for him.

Gavin closed his eyes and kept his head down, praying to be washed away in the rain. Over the roar of rainfall, he heard timid steps gaining confidence as they approached him. Nines attempted to hold him by the shoulders, but Gavin knew better and pushed back. He expected more give, but then again he was trying to push back against an android.

Nines tried again, but this time Gavin didn’t have the energy to put up a fight anymore.

It was tiring.

Gavin got tired.

Yet, there was still that part of him that wanted to revolt, get out, get away. Instead of pushing Nines away again, he clung on to his stupid grey coat and let himself be squeezed into a crushing hug. Nines carefully shuffled them back out of the rain and off the street and Gavin’s mouth decided that it would listen to the loudest part of his brain. “S-s-stop it tin can. Let me go. Let me go home.” By now, if Nines wasn’t holding him, he would be shaking like a leaf. Panic felt like antifreeze in his veins and Gavin white knuckled Nines’ overcoat. Bit by bit his voice got louder and louder. “I need you to—just leave me—leave me alone.”

When they were out of the rain Gavin yelled into his overcoat, years of pent up rage and unhealthy coping mechanisms collapsed in a moment. The more he yelled, the more cathartic he felt, the more Nines silently squeezed.

In the shadow of some big-box outlet, Gavin sobbed for the first time in years. He hadn’t cried this much since he was shot in the leg years ago as a rookie. Things had fallen apart then, things were falling apart now. This time he was falling apart in the arms of an android who he wanted to hate and without gentle assurances of his mother to keep his head straight. After a few minutes or an hour—who could tell—Gavin stopped sobbing and had noticeably sobered up.

He kept his face hidden not out of shame though, he couldn’t bring himself to feel guilty. Gavin wanted to selfishly soak in the security Nines was giving him by staying still and being tall. It also helped that Nines was rubbing his back in a wide slow motion, up, down, up, down, like he was petting a sleepy cat rather than an exhausted Detective.

Long after the pair noticed the rain had stopped, Nines held on to Gavin and led him home.