Chapter Text
Guilt.
It was a strange thing.
Only to him.
His host understood its meaning. On multiple occasions his host attempted to explain it many times before.
Still he was unable to grasp the concept of it.
It took him a long time to understand what it meant. To understand that was a feeling he had felt several times over.
The first time he felt the feeling of guilt was when he emerged from his host — he scared away his original family. They had believed their child, his host, to be possessed by a demon. Both of them were orphaned soon after — they grew up with only each other.
At first his host had been afraid of him and blamed him for everything.
He couldn't understand why and started to study the other children in the orphanage. Eventually, he succeeded in apologizing to his host and surprisingly — the boy had accepted without problem. They became fast friends and relied on one another.
He remembers all those times that his host was locked in the closets — the rampaging emotions and using that to protect him.
It would get them both in trouble.
Eventually, someone had chosen his host to take home. To have as a son. The orphanage had let the man know about the sentient being living within the boy. Surprising almost everyone, he didn't care.
That was the most he had seen his host happy. The boy was so happy that he talked to him about it. Of course he listened but, he worried in the back of his own mind. Worried that something bad would happen and they would end up back at the orphanage.
And then, his host had turned twelve.
The boy talked of heroes and becoming one. Even when his classmates and teachers at school told him that it would be near impossible for him. Saying that what he had wasn't a quirk but, a monster. A demon lying in wait.
He remembered times where his host would find the quietest and darkest of places; crying silently to himself.
It saddened him to see his host so discouraged. So he would talk to him about it and encourage him. Pointing out and reminding him of their favorite Pro-Hero, Dark Crystal.
Their thirteenth birthday came around, neither of them knew how but his dad had found out everything. Surprising his host with a red choker. The same one that Dark Crystal would always wear. To say they were ecstatic was an understatement. Even he got something, his own action figure — one that he shared with his host. Playing with it when his host had homework.
Since receiving the red choker, his host wore as a signature with any and all of his outfits. A sign to everyone that he was never going to give up on his dream.
A few years passed and they found themselves looking for a high school to attend. Not just any high school — their father had wanted the best for both of them; suggesting U.A. High. Both himself and his host spoke about it. Eventually, they agreed that would be the place.
The exam had came along. His host had a tough time with the written exam and so he helped him as much as he could; their dad helped as well. Then the physical exam was next, one that he made sure his host would have no trouble doing.
It had been exhausting. Especially for him, he didn't appear before his host until the next day.
The acceptance letter came in the mail a week later.
It was the moment of truth.
A moment that kept them both up.
He watched excitedly and expectingly as his host opened the envelope.
A small hologram of the number one hero of Japan appeared before them; All Might. His host contained his excitement as he watched the hologram intently.
" Hello, young Tokoyami!! It is I, All Might! And I am here to tell you that your written test score was above average. As for your practical test...you have scored forty-seven for villains and ten for rescue. Young Tokoyami Fumikage, I am happy to welcome you into U.A.s Heroics Course. I will also be a teacher there starting this year. I hope to see you soon and remember, PLUS ULTRA!!"
"...Dark Shadow...we did it..." Fumikage stared in shock at where the hologram had been. He wasn't sure what to do. All of his emotions were a jumbled mess. So he only stared before turning towards his quirk. "Dark Shadow!! We're going to be heroes!!"
Dark Shadow felt the arms of his host wrap around him. He chirped happily, "Yay!! I can't wait Fumi!! I can't wait!! We should tell dad!!" Feeling the arms of his host unravel — he watched as the teenager got up, nearly knocking his chair over.
"You're right...you're absolutely right Dark Shadow!!" Fumikage nodded his head, "Father will be so proud of us..."
Dark Shadow watched as his host exited the room in a hurry. The door left wide open. With a smile on his shadowy face, he turned his attention towards the hologram device. Growing a shadowy arm, he poked and prodded at the small device. He nearly scared himself when it automatically popped back up.
Again, it reread the message.
He listened to the congratulations; thinking about how happy Fumikage appeared when the message ended.
He felt the happiness and pride well up within him.
Quietly, he promised that he would never be a burden to his host. That he would always be at his side to help defend those around them. To never hurt any of their allies. And most importantly, to make sure Fumikage succeeded in his dream.
Dark Shadow listen to the ambient sounds of the machines around him. Listening as they monitored the vitality of his host.
The beginning of the school year had seemed so long ago. Dark Shadow had made a few mistakes here and there. The main one being when they were attacked during their summer training camp.
To him, that was one of his major accident he had since the birth of Fumikage. He still laminated over that moment. The time where they were both abandoned. The times when Fumikage hated him.
Dark Shadow twiddled his shadowy thumbs together as he looked at Fumikage. He hadn't felt this guilty in so long. It was a feeling he didn't like because, it was always there.
"Fumi...I'm sorry. I failed." Dark Shadow muttered as he looked down at his shadowy hands. They were locked together tightly. "I was supposed to protect you and I couldn't. I'm the reason you got hurt."
He fell into silence. Watching the slow rising and falling of Fumikage's chest. It was hard for him to see his host like this. One of the things that he had feared the most whenever they talked about being heroes.
"...I could have done more." He spoke, breaking the tense silence.
He had convinced himself that it was his fault that Fumikage was in this position. That it was thanks to him that he was in a medically induced coma. He weeped every time he emerged from his host and would weep when returning.
The guilt was eating him up. He wanted for Fumikage to hear his apology. Yet he knew that wasn't going to be anytime soon.
He had heard what the doctors and nurses would say when he confined himself within Fumikage's body. The diagnosis and how long they would leave him in his current state.
They spoke of allowing him visitors.
Ultimately, it was decided that if it wasn't a teacher of U.A. or any of his classmates — then visits were barred.
Dark Shadow couldn't understand why their father couldn't come visit them.
This was a trying time. And he was needed the most during this difficult journey.
Then the nurse from the school had came by. Recovery Girl had volunteered to be in-charge of all twenty-one teenagers and the one adult that were confined to hospital beds.
There had been multiple times that Dark Shadow had encountered the elderly woman. She would always state her business — knowing how protective he was of his host. Though, he would always tell her that he didn't mind her helping Fumikage.
The vitals check was never too long. He would get a few pets atop his head. One day, she even presented him with a toy. One that he happily took and laid it beside Fumikage. Whenever, he received a new toy — he would always show it off to Fumikage before playing with it.
Dark Shadow thought it was nice that he didn't have to explain why he did what he did. The elderly hero seemed happy that he was happy.
Of course, that happiness could only last but for so long.
The guilt began to resurface whenever he was alone.
It hurt.
He wished it would stop. That Fumikage would wake up and everything would be okay.
And to have waited until the end of the year — that was something that made the hurt so much worse.