Chapter Text
He stared at what he had just written down, and with a sigh of frustration, tore off the page of his notebook, folding it in half and throwing it in his trash can. The piece of paper ended up with its peers, other pages that had suffered the same fate as his.
Tokoyami rested his head in his hands, ruffling his feathers in the process. A quick glance towards the lit up screen of his phone told him that it was near 1:30 am, and even if his day felt longer than what it really had been, he still wasn’t feeling too tired.
In fact, he couldn’t actually sleep, no matter how hard he tried to.
He looked back at his notebook, tapping the wooden surface of his desk with his pen.
Nothing.
Not a single good idea came to his mind.
He sighed, leaning back on his chair. Not only did he have trouble falling asleep but now he was lacking inspiration to write. It had been happening more than he would like to admit; he couldn’t write a short story, nor a song, not even his all-time favorite poetry!
“What a mad banket of darkness…” he muttered, rubbing his eyes.
His frustration must have awakened Dark Shadow because, moments later, after feeling his stomach twisting, a little black bird head popped up from his chest. They curiously looked at their host, and then at the open notebook in front of him.
“Nothing?” they asked.
“Nothing,” repeated Tokoyami as an answer.
The dark creature stretched to reach Tokoyami’s face, tilting their head to one side then to the other.
“Break?” they asked, pointing at the door with one of their claws.
After giving it some thought, Tokoyami nodded, and got up from his desk, He was connected to his quirk, or more specifically, his quirk was an extension of himself, so Dark Shadow knew, most of the time, Tokoyami’s deepest thoughts and desires, and even if the creature liked to tease and make fun of him, they also helped him. So, he trusted them. He was careful, but he trusted them. Kind of.
Tokoyami grabbed a black sweater that was lying somewhere in his bed and stuffed his pen and notebook in the front pocket. He made Dark Shadow go back into his body, and after turning off the few lights he had on, he got out of his room.
The hallway was empty and dark and the silence was deafening. Thanks to the emergency lights that were placed over each room’s door, he was able to make his way towards the stairs, trying to make as little noise as possible, his bare feet against the cold floor.
His hand traced the wall at his side, feeling every bump and every crack. He arrived at the staircase without tripping nor falling, so, not wanting to change that, he went down the stairs carefully, one foot at a time. It was slow, of course, but it was always better to do it like that than having Iida barging from his room if he heard him fall or make too much noise. Their class representative was a fine guy and a good friend, but when it came to rules, he was merciless.
Before Tokoyami knew it, he had already arrived in the common room.
The curtains were opened and dim lights softly illuminated the room. There wasn’t a full moon outside but, with the stars and city lights, he was able to see his surroundings quite well. He was already used to being in the dark, so it was fine for him.
Tokoyami went to the kitchen and poured himself a glass of water. The cold drink was actually pretty relieving, so he had to thank Dark Shadow for it. The creature didn't always have terrible ideas. As he was walking towards the sofas, he stopped for a moment to look through the window. The school looked so peaceful, so devoid of life. Like a ghost town, the buildings stood tall, intimidating, and the trees moved under the voiceless whispers of the wind.
…
That was actually pretty good.
He took his pen and notebook out of his pocket and swiftly wrote down his thoughts.
[Like a ghost town,
The buildings stood tall,
Tall and intimidating,
And the trees moved
Under the voiceless
Whispers of the wind]
It didn’t seem that bad, but it still was missing something. And it started to annoy him greatly.
What was it that he was missing? What could it possibly be?
He sighed, dropping his shoulders. It was futile and he knew it. No matter how much he tried, no matter how hard he tried to find an answer to his questions, he ended up face to face with the blank pages of his mind.
He closed his notebook and resumed his walk towards the couches, letting himself fall onto one of them.
After giving it some thought, he scribbled down “blank pages of my mind”. He told himself that he could always use it after.
Although he didn’t know when “after” was going to happen, it clearly was a better idea than tearing off every single page of his notebook. Besides, the couple of sentences he had written just now didn’t look half as bad as all the others that lied in the trash can of his bedroom. Maybe he could try to not to dismiss every single idea or attempt he made, maybe doing so could help him getting back onto the writer's path?
However, sticking with his own plans wasn’t exactly Tokoyami’s forte, at least solely when it came to his creations, so by the time the clock of the common room hit 2:00 am, numerous ripped pages lied on top of the couch around him.
Disappointed in himself and in his writing -or lack of it-, he covered his face with his notebook, letting his red eyes rest for a moment. Screaming in frustration in the middle of the night wasn’t the wisest thing he could do, so he resisted the temptation of screeching his feelings away. Instead, he breathed deep and slowly, in an effort to calm himself down.
Just when he started to do so, he suddenly became aware of a quiet sound that resonated from the floor above the common room.
It sounded like the soft footsteps of someone coming down the stairs.
This peaked Tokoyami’s attention, and he took his notebook off of his face to check the time once more. Who, aside from him, was still awake at 2:26 am and still decided to go downstairs to the common room?
That question ought to be the easiest one to answer compared to the other ones he had asked himself, because it was answered as soon as a figure he recognized very well entered the room: Kouji Kouda, the most shy, quiet and reserved student of class 1-A, if not of all U.A.
The boy, however, didn’t seem to notice Tokoyami lying on the sofa; softly humming a tone that Tokoyami didn’t quite place, he quickly made his way to the kitchen, just like the other did before.
The soft song he was mumbling grew a little bit louder, probably because he now felt as if nobody could possibly hear him, but Tokoyami still didn’t recognize it. It didn’t seem as something he himself would listen to, as it was not quite his style, but it didn’t seem that bad.
He got up from his seat, and made his way towards Kouda to greet him. By the time he got behind him, his classmate had started muttering some of the song’s lyrics under his breath. However, this took an end fairly quickly as he turned around and was suddenly confronted with Tokoyami’s presence.
To say that he was startled would have been an understatement; in fact, he practically jumped in place, his hands reacting promptly to cover his face as to muffle a scream that almost escaped from his mouth. Unfortunately, he still had the glass in his hands, and the object fell directly to the floor when he let go of it, shattering against the kitchen’s tiles in a million of little pieces.
Tokoyami winced at the sound; in contrast to the silence of the night, it was like a hunter’s shotgun firing in the forest. Although it didn’t seem as if they’d woken up anyone, the pair stayed still, in silence, during a couple of minutes, staring at each other and listening for anything that could have meant the rise of their classmates from their sleep.
Seeing as if nothing was going to happen, Tokoyami let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.
“What a catastrophy… I did not expect to reveal myself in such a disastrous way, and I have to apologize for causing this kind of commotion,” he spoke, slightly bowing his head.
Kouda, still pretty shaken up, could only bring himself to slowly nod. His gaze lowered, looking now at the remains of the glass he was holding just seconds ago. Tokoyami followed his eyes, suddenly aware of the true consequences of his actions.
“Allow me to take care of it. I wouldn’t want you getting hurt because of my foolishness,” he made his way towards the kitchen closet that contained a broom and other useful cleaning products.
Steadily and slowly, he made sure that not a single piece of glass stayed on the floor, carefully cleaning the area around Kouda to avoid the latter getting injured. Once he was done, he cleared his throat, finally making his friend react. Kouda had stayed still during the whole ordeal, seemingly frozen in place.
Kouda shook his head, his heart still beating at a furiously fast pace in his chest. He lowered his hands and with one of them he drew a circle on his chest with his fist closed, the sign for “sorry”. He repeated it a couple of times, making sure that Tokoyami understood his apology perfectly. The bird-headed boy only knew the basics of Japanese Sign Language, and fortunately that sign was part of his vocabulary, so he knew how to properly answer.
“You do not need to apologize. I was the one who caused your fright, so if anything, I should be the one to blame for this atrocious accident.”
Kouda nodded, relieved, but he still repeated the sign one last time. Just in case. Tokoyami sighed.
“It is alright. By the way, may I ask what are you doing here during such dark hours?”
Kouda seemed to think of an answer, and then proceeded to sign it to his friend. However, when he noticed the look of confusion his answer received, he understood that he wasn’t getting anywhere, so his movements slowed down until coming to a complete halt, hands frozen in the air.
“I have to apologize, but I do have to admit that my knowledge and understanding of your language is fairly limited,” Tokoyami rubbed his neck with his hand, quite uncomfortable and bashful. However, an idea sprung to life in the rusty mechanisms of his mind, and his eyes lit up. “Actually, I may have a solution to tear down the barrier of miscommunication that separates both of us.”
He turned around, walking back towards the couch. A nervous Kouda followed him close behind, eyes widening when he noticed the pile of papers that covered the cushions. Tokoyami gathered them all fairly quickly and put them aside, sitting back down on the soft surface of the sofa. In his hands, he was holding his pen and open notebook, offering them to his friend. The bigger boy quickly understood what the other asked of him and sitting next to Tokoyami, he took the items with shaky hands.
He stared at the blank page for a couple of seconds, and then, he started writing.
Tokoyami looked at him intently, his red eyes trying to catch as many details as he could while he waited.
Kouda was wearing an oversized light green shirt with small leaves painted all over it, which really did fit him, and some dark grey sweatpants. He must admit that it looked as if it were quite the comfortable nightwear.
Kouda held the notebook in front of Tokoyami, and the latter’s eyes quickly read what he had written down.
[I have trouble falling asleep at night, so I usually read, but lately I haven’t been able to focus on anything. Tonight I decided to come down here to drink something and well, sit on one of the couches and relax. Nothing special.]
When Tokoyami lifted his head, having finished reading, Kouda shrugged, giving a little more life to his words. He pointed towards Tokoyami, silently asking for his reasons to be awake at that time of the night.
“Me? I could not sleep either. I was, unsuccessfully may I say, trying to work on some personal projects, but I was not getting anywhere, and it got all too overwhelming,” he explained, glancing towards the papers he had put at his side. “It’s not as if I usually get too much sleep anyway, but tonight seemed worse than usual.”
His friend nodded as he listened to him. He started writing down an answer, for once willing to keep up with a conversation with someone that wasn’t an animal. Or, well, fully animal. Tokoyami leaned over, reading the answer.
[Is it because of Dark Shadow?]
“Not exactly. They usually misbehave when I am shaken up or focused on particularly strong negative emotions, so at night, even surrounded with darkness, they are pretty tame unless I get too carried away with anger or despair.”
[Do they need to sleep?]
“Well, as we share the same body, in fact mine, I actually have to provide for both of us. They are an extension of myself, so if I feel exhausted, they will feel it too, they will feel angry if I am, and so on. I do need to sleep for both of us, but as I got used to not get much of it, it is the same for Dark Shadow.”
[Isn’t it too tiring?]
Tokoyami thought about it for a moment.
“It is not, how should I say it? Physically tiring,” he explained, looking at his hands. “Yes, I do have to make more efforts than others to go through my day, or so I was told. It is something that I have done since the day I got my quirk, so I do not know what exactly are the differences between me and others,” his eyes wandered around the room. “Maybe it is the fact that I know how strong they can be and how easily I could lose control of Dark Shadow if they were to go berserk once again which is tiring. Mentally draining. I think that that is the explanation that best suits the answer to your question. I do not wish to hurt you nor any of my other friends because I was unable to properly control them, so perhaps that is why it can get so exhausting from time to time.”
[Thank you.]
“Huh? What did I do to receive such exquisite gratitude?”
Kouda stared at the notebook, thinking about how to properly put his thoughts into words. His hands were trembling as they always did when he was being truthful about something personal.
[Thank you for trusting me with something as private as your own thoughts,] read his answer. [But also thank you for all you do for us. I hadn’t thought about it before, but it really shows how good you truly are.
A soft blush of embarrassment covered Kouda’s cheeks, and he was looking anywhere but towards Tokoyami’s direction. The latter chuckled lightly when he finished reading.
“You are too considerate, Kouda. But, thank you. It does feel nice to receive words of recognition from time to time.”
The bigger boy flashed him a shy smile.
“May I ask about your quirk now?” suddenly asked Tokoyami.
He looked at his friend, waiting patiently for an answer. Kouda didn’t say or do anything for some time, but then he slowly nodded in agreement.
“Very well,” Tokoyami slid a hand through his feathers, thoughtful, under the close watch of Kouda, whose eyes followed his every movement. “It is difficult to speak with animals? I do not think that I fully grasp the concept of your quirk.”
[I cannot actually speak with animals,] corrected him Kouda. [I have the ability to command them. I can order them to do such and such things and they obey me, but they have to be able to hear me for them to do so. I actually don’t know how they feel about it, like what they are thinking, if they complain or anything.]
“Oh, I apologize for my misinterpretation of your quirk then.”
Kouda quickly shook his head.
[Don’t! It was logical for you to be mistaken. It’s called Animavoice, so you would think that I could actually speak with animals, but it’s not the case.]
“...I see. I thank you for your forgiveness and for your enlightenment on the subject.”
Kouda giggled when hearing the words his friend was using. He was usually very dramatic, and although it was pretty cool, sometimes it seemed a little bit over the top.
He then noticed that Tokoyami was staring at him, so, in a sudden rush of panic, he muttered a nervous “what?” under his breath.
Tokoyami’s gaze softened.
“Do not worry, I asked you a question just when you were spacing out,” he explained, and before Kouda could do anything, he held his hand in front of him, and firmly added: “I do not wish for you to apologize. I am being serious.”
This did not deter Kouda from quickly signing “sorry”, an apologetic smile on his face. Tokoyami sighed. He knew that Kouda was like that, but he truly wished for him to be more comfortable, less nervous around the others.
“Let’s forget about it, yes?” Kouda nodded in agreement at his friend’s words. “What I was asking you was how do you possibly make a difference between your own voice and your Animavoice?”
[Actually, it’s sometimes kinda difficult. Besides the fact that not all animals understand the same type of pronunciation or words, a lot of times I had problems with it. For example, sometimes when I asked my mother for something, it turned out that whatever animal was closer came to my house to help,] they both laughed at that, although Tokoyami’s voice was, naturally, a tad louder. Kouda went back to his explanation after calming down. [What seems to be working best is to practice different intonations and see which work best with what animals. But if I’m in a hurry, I just speak directly to the animal I want to control, or I try to picture them in my mind. It doesn’t work 100%, as the problem is that when I speak to other people, I’m less careful with my words, but I manage.]
“Is that why you do not speak much with others?”
Kouda sunk a little bit in his seat, placing the notebook in front of his face. Then, he slowly nodded, making sure to avoid any eye contact that would make him cower. Tokoyami felt his heart melt as he witnessed that reaction. The girls of class 1-A and 1-B always called Kouda “cute” or “adorable”, but Tokoyami had never really given those comments much thought. However, now that it was just the two of them, he could perfectly see why the others said that.
“Well, if it is of any help, you should know that making mistakes when trying to control and master your quirk is perfectly normal, so it should not be the source of your shame. That is the reason we are all studying here, in fact, to better ourselves,” said Tokoyami.
His words only received a bashful shrug from his friend, who at least had taken down the notebook off of his face, eyes still avoiding Tokoyami's.
“Is there something you would like to speak about? It can be whatever you want to, I do not have a preference.”
Kouda tapped his chin with the pen he had in his hand, thoughtful. He surely wanted to shrug or just say that he didn’t know, but he also wanted to make an effort, not only for himself, but also for Tokoyami, with whom he was having a surprisingly nice conversation.
Tokoyami was starting to think that he wasn’t going to receive an answer at all, but before he could say something, Kouda started to write something down.
[What were you doing before I arrived?] as Tokoyami seemed to slightly frown, he quickly added another line underneath his question. [There’s no need to tell if you don’t want to.]
“It is not something that I do not want to share, do not get me wrong,” clarified Tokoyami. “The thing is that others are not especially interested in what I have to tell, as I do appear to be such a dark person, and I am not one to start a conversation about my amusements or my likings. But, I can tell you about it, if that is what you wish.”
Kouda quickly nodded his head, excitement shining through his eyes. Tokoyami had to hold back a laugh so as to not appear rude, but it wasn’t an easy task.
“Very well. I should start by saying that, when I was younger, I had much more trouble controlling Dark Shadow than now, and as we are strongly united by my emotions, during quite some time I had to see a therapist that could help me work through my thoughts and feelings,” he explained, leaning back on the couch, eyes stuck to the ceiling. “During those sessions, my therapist advised me to try and portray my feelings in a way that would not involve Dark Shadow getting out of hand, and so they asked me to write everything that I wanted or needed to get out of my chest in a diary. It worked just fine, but as time passed by, it started feeling as something quite childish for me to do, so following my main, let’s say, interests, I decided to try out poetry, songwriting and similar activities. It allows me to both express myself in a pleasant way but also to keep track of my every state of mind as to be able to predict Dark Shadow’s mood,” it seemed strange to share such private thoughts with someone else, but it turned out that the more he spoke, the easier it was.
Kouda nodded while he listened to him, having left the pen and the notebook on top of the table. He was huddled up against the sofa, arms crossed in front of his chest, a warm expression in his face as he watched Tokoyami speak.
“...what about tonight?” dared to ask Kouda with a quiet voice.
Although it greatly surprised Tokoyami to hear him speak up, he didn’t want to make a great deal out of it as to not make him feel too self-conscious.
“Lately I haven’t been able to create anything that would fully satisfy me. I have been lacking something, a little spark, and everything that I do manage to write down seems empty, wrong.”
“...lacking inspiration?”
“Yes, but at the same time, no. I am able to write things that are not absolutely horrendous, but they do not make me feel anything. They might be beautiful words, but they are devoid of any true substance.”
Kouda nodded again. He usually was a good listener, but what Tokoyami was saying right now truly and really did interest him.
Tokoyami started talking once more. And, he spoke freely. He told Kouda what he hadn’t shared with a lot of people, about his interests, his style, his favorite authors.
He would have kept going on and on if it weren’t because a soft snore interrupted him. He turned to face Kouda, who was fast asleep, eyes closed, mouth ajar, and arms still crossed in front of his chest.
Tokoyami watched him sleep for a moment. He looked so peaceful for once, not like when he was with the others, always worried, always nervous. He seemed so placid, so comfortable…
His gaze slowly drifted away from Kouda and fell on top of his notebook, open on top of the small table. He reached for it, reading what his friend had written during their conversation. There were a couple of words crossed out here and there, some spelling mistakes he had corrected before showing it to Tokoyami, some scribbles on the sides. He read everything again, until he stumbled upon the only good lines he himself had written. He stared at them, reading them over and over again. He looked over at Kouda once more, and he wondered about what he was missing. He had hoped that speaking about his thoughts would have helped, but he felt even more lost than before.
His eyes went back to his notebook, they traced every word, over and over again, until his vision darkened and he closed his eyes, snuggling against the couch just as Kouda did, and slowly started to doze off as he heard his friend’s breathes and the night’s sounds coming from outside.
~*~
Tokoyami grunted as he was suddenly awakened by the bright morning’s sunlight. He cursed under his breath as he slowly opened his eyes, but when he stared at the ceiling, after a moment of confusion, he finally realized that he was not in his room. That explained why there was so much light, but it also led to him wondering where he was. He looked around, and when he saw Kouda, still asleep next to him, Tokoyami remembered last night’s events. In the end, even if neither of them had been able to fall asleep in their own rooms, they ended up sleeping on the common room’s sofas.
He had not slept much apparently, as it was only 7:18 am, but at least it was something.
He got up, stretching his arms and back, cringing when he heard and felt some of his articulations popping. It truly was not the best remedy for his insomnia but at least he got some rest.
Being extremely careful as to not wake up his friend, he made his way towards the restroom, feeling a sudden urgency to take a leak.
He did what he had to do and then proceeded to take care of his roughen up feathers, because he looked as if Kaminari had shocked him with his quirk at full force. It was a hard task, but in the end he managed to look half-decent, and that was more than enough.
He got out of the restroom, holding back a yawn. When he arrived next to the couches, he noticed that Kouda was awake, notebook in hand, reading intently one of the pages.
Tokoyami was about to say something about it, ready to lecture him or whatever, but before he could speak, he remembered that it was his own fault for leaving the notebook open, and certainly not Kouda’s.
When Kouda looked up, and when his eyes met Tokoyami’s, his calm demeanor was replaced by a fearful one as he quickly began signing an apology, notebook still in his hand.
“You should not apologize, Kouda, you did nothing wrong,” interrupted Tokoyami as he sat down next to him, leaning over to read what Kouda was looking at.
Apparently, it was last night’s quote, the same that Tokoyami had fallen asleep to.
Kouda took one of the ripped off paper that was the closest to him, and wrote something down, showing it to his friend soon after.
[I like it.]
“You do? I did not think that you were one to enjoy this kind of writing,” he was actually pretty surprised.
[You don’t really know much about me, do you?]
Now, that answer surprised him even more.
That kind of repartee was pretty unusual, even more coming from someone like Kouda, so Tokoyami was very much impressed. This showed that his friend was starting to break out of his shell, or at least trying to, which was a good sign.
However, he could still see a faint blush that covered his friend’s cheeks, which meant that the answer he wrote took him much more than what Tokoyami thought.
“Fair enough, I apologize for my assumption. Let me try again,” he cleared his throat. “Kouda, do you usually enjoy this kind of genre and issue?”
Kouda quickly wrote down his answer and lifted the paper in front of his face.
[No.]
Confused, Tokoyami stared at those two letters. Did he misunderstood what Kouda had said? But, before he could voice his query, he saw the paper shake ever so slightly as Kouda tried to stifle a squeaky laughter.
Tokoyami was quick to understand that Kouda, the most quiet, shy class 1-A student, dared to actually joke around with him. He smiled as he saw his friend covering mouth to muffle his excited giggles.
“You got me there,” laughed Tokoyami. Kouda answered with a wide grin, much more different than his usual apologetic smiles. “I should have been able to see through your delusions, but alas, you tricked me,” his dramatic words were received by another squeaky laughter which warmed up his heart.
Tokoyami started to think as quickly as he could, perceiving the shadow of an idea in his mind.
“Actually, if I were to think about something that would suit your taste, from what I have gathered about you, or at least, what I think that I know about you, it would be more along the lines of…” he started to piece words together, trying to come out with something good. “Tall and majestic mountain, its peak crowned with dawn’s clouds.”
When he looked back at Kouda, his gaze was met with twinkling and wide-opened eyes which stared back at him with such interest and admiration that Tokoyami felt somewhat embarrassed.
The bigger boy quickly looked for a blank piece of paper, and when he found it, he held both it and the pen for Tokoyami to take.
“Huh? What-” it suddenly clicked in his mind. “Would you, perhaps, want me to write down what I have just said for you?”
Kouda nodded fervently, nudging the objects closer to Tokoyami. The latter, surprised once more by Kouda’s sudden insistence, did what was asked of him, trying to be as careful as possible as to write the lines perfectly.
[Tall and majestic mountain,
Its peak crowned with dawn’s clouds.]
He read it again, his eyes tracing the shapes of the letters attentively. Weirdly enough, this time it felt… right. He could not quite place his finger on what had changed, but these words really seemed as if they held something important, something very likable.
Quite satisfied with himself, he returned the paper to Kouda. He watched as his friend discovered the words once again with a smile on his face, but then his expression changed, frowning a little bit.
“Is there something wrong?”
Kouda turned the page towards Tokoyami, pointing at a blank space underneath the sentences. This time, and as much as he tried, Tokoyami could not decipher what his friend was trying to say, so he did nothing but stare at him in confusion. Kouda soon realized that, and after taking a deep breath, he quietly muttered:
“...your… name…?”
“O-Oh, you would want me to write my name under the poem?” he asked, excited to hear him speak once more.
Kouda nodded in agreement and Tokoyami nodded back at him.
It felt extremely weird for someone to like so much something he had made, but it was a good kind of weird.
He did as the other asked and wrote his name on the paper. This time, Kouda seemed to be fully satisfied, and he gave the thumbs up to his friend.
“I am glad that it pleased you so much,” admitted Tokoyami, looking to one side. “Usually, people are not too keen about spending time with me, but with you it felt… Natural. Fine.” He turned to finally face his friend. “Thank you.”
Kouda opened his mouth to answer but his attempt was cut short by someone else.
“GOOD MORNING MY FELLOW CLASSMATES!” screamed Iida, despite it being so early in the morning. The pair turned around, seeing their class representative and Izuku Midoriya, one of the strongest students of their class, walking towards them, dressed up in their physical education uniform. “I see that you are already up! I am proud of you, you actually surpassed me! I’ll use this experience to better myself! Tomorrow, I’ll wake up even sooner to show you my determination!”
“Tenya, calm down, you’re gonna wake up the whole school!” hushed him down Midoriya, sighing. His eyes went back to Tokoyami and Kouda. “Good morning, how is everything going?”
“Everything is fine, or so I think,” answered Tokoyami, while Kouda just held his thumbs up in agreement. “Are the both of you going for a run?”
“Indeed! Izuku asked me to help him with his training, and so I will!” exclaimed Iida, making big motions with his arms.
“Yep. I need to train my legs more, I can’t always rely on my arms. And Tenya seemed like my best option.”
“However! Unless you want to join us, I’m afraid that we will have to leave you now! We have a schedule to stick to!”
“I am truly sorry, but I will have to refuse. I have other businesses to attend to while waiting for class to start,” apologized Tokoyami, bowing his head.
Iida and Midoriya nodded in understanding and proceeded to say goodbye, walking towards the dorm’s doors. Tokoyami watched them go, and then turned to face Kouda, who seemed to be lost in his thoughts.
“I will be leaving you now too, Kouda. As said before, I have to go back to my room,” he grabbed his things, also taking care of all the ripped off papers he had left behind. He stopped, items in hand, and lightly bowed towards Kouda. “It was a pleasure spending this time with you, and I truly thank you for it.”
Kouda opened his mouth to speak once again, but he seemed to think twice about it, and simply closed it, nodding. He waved him goodbye as he also got up, having to go to the restroom.
Tokoyami turned around, and went back to his room, feeling full of energy even if he hadn’t gotten much sleep. He felt… good.
~*~
Classes were finally over, freeing the students from the classroom’s walls. Tokoyami was stuffing his books and lessons in his backpack, relieved that the day was finally over. He had had a lot of trouble focusing on what the teachers were saying, which not only was unusual, but also meant that he ought to ask the others for the notes they had taken, just in case he had missed something.
He saw something out of the corner of his eye which caught his attention. He turned, suddenly facing Kouda, who was waiting at the side of his desk, notebook in hand and nervous expression on his face. He seemed to be about to turn around, but seeing as Tokoyami was now looking at him, he did his best to show a calm demeanor and shy smile, even though he was shaking from head to toe.
“Yes? May I help you?” asked Tokoyami, tilting his head to one side, curious.
Kouda started shaking his head “no”, but then quickly corrected himself by nodding. Seeing the confused expression on his friend’s face, he sighed, and simply handed him the notebook and a piece of paper.
Tokoyami took both of them, carefully reading the message written on the paper.
[In compensation for reading your poetry without asking, I would like to show you my own notebook. If you want to, of course.]
He looked back at Kouda, whose eyes were nervously looking everywhere except at him.
The notebook was in his hands now.
The cover was of a simple black color, and the lack of patterns or decorations seemed surprising for someone as colorful as Kouda, who loved animals and cute stuff. But he shouldn’t be judging a book by its cover, right? He carefully opened it and when he saw what awaited him on the first page, he let out a soft gasp.
It was a drawing of U.A. from what seemed to be one of the rooms of the Heights Alliance’s dorms. It wasn’t a finished illustration, just a sketch, but it was pretty impressive nonetheless.
Tokoyami lifted his gaze once more. Kouda was rubbing his neck, seemingly uncomfortable.
“Did… Did you draw this?”
The bigger boy nodded, doubtful.
“It is… Amazing. Dark Deities, it truly is amazing!” Tokoyami exclaimed, unaware that he had raised his tone.
Kouda looked at him with wide eyes. He did not have any particular reaction in mind, but that surely was not what he had expected. He watched as Tokoyami traced the lines of his drawings with his eyes, analyzing intently every detail; his hands carefully grasping the edge of the notebook, trying to not wrinkle the pages; his feathers slightly puffed up with excitement. Kouda felt his skin pleasantly tingling.
“Do you have more that you would allow me to see?” suddenly asked Tokoyami, lifting his gaze towards him.
Kouda, somewhat startled, nodded in agreement, motionning with his hand for him to look through the pages.
And so did Tokoyami. The next page showed multiple sketches of Yuwai, Kouda’s pet rabbit. There, she was sleeping. In the next, she was eating. In another, she was jumping, the drawing portraying her mid air. The next page was of the sky through their classroom window. A couple of birds could be seen, right in between clouds. He turned the page. And then another. The white papers were full of miscellaneous drawings of landscapes, animals…
It was stunning.
“Kouda, I… I don’t know what to say. It is truly incredible.”
The aforementioned chuckled nervously, quite embarrassed. Just as Tokoyami had told him before, he was not used to sharing his private work, not only because others did not ask him about it, but also because he was too fearful of the judgement of others. But the way his friend had reacted… It was surely reassuring.
Tokoyami arrived at the latest drawing that Kouda must have been sketching. It seemed to be of the common room, from one of the sofas. He had started by making the couch and some background details, but in the center of the page there was an almost entirely empty space. There were some lines lightly drawn here and there, although Tokoyami was not able to figure out what they were supposed to portray.
“Kouda? May I ask what is going to be there?” he lifted his head, patiently waiting for an answer.
However, what happened next certainly was not something he expected. Once he caught Kouda’s attention, the latter seemed to be extremely startled, and his thoughtful expression was replaced by one of sheer fear. He shook his hands in front of him, and quickly signed something Tokoyami did not quite understand, well, something he did not understand at all. As soon as Kouda realized that, he seemed to go on a full-blown panic: he proceeded to snatch his notebook off of Tokoyami’s hands, muttering something that resembled an apology under his breath and proceeded to bolt out of the classroom, leaving Tokoyami completely speechless.
He only was able to stare at the door, bewildered. What the hell had just happened? Did he do something wrong? Guilt slowly started to rise inside of him. Not only had he made his friend flee, but he was also completely unable to understand what he had told him.
Was it not just pitiful?
He shook his head, and suddenly he realized that his classmates, at least, those who still were in the classroom, were also staring at him. Great.
“Is everything okay, Tokoyami?” politely wondered Yaoyorozu, still seated at her desk.
“I… Yes, yes, everything is fine,” he slid a hand through his feathers, suddenly feeling overwhelmed.
“Are you sure? Do you need help with anything?” insisted the girl, a worried expression on her face.
“No, I…!” he interrupted himself, thinking quickly. “...Actually, Yaoyorozu, may I ask you something…?”