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Tsukishima has been called lucky for most of his life.
How lucky, you are such a tall boy.
How lucky of you, to have such a sweet and caring brother.
You are so smart, how lucky.
So honest and perceptive, how lucky!
From what he can remember, luck was never something he took too seriously but he wasn’t particularly bothered by it. At first it was annoying. When people decided to put all his accomplishments under luck it left him feeling inadequate. Or when they focused on his stature or looks and claimed him lucky— it felt like a shallow compliment. It was only ever when luck was associated with his brother that Tsukishima really felt every aspect of the word. Akiteru really made him feel lucky. His brother, for the better part of his childhood, was his only hero.
Of course that changed when he caught him in a web of lies. Thinking back, that’s probably when his luck turned around.
It felt like a swift cut through the neck. It was shocking and humiliating and all the more frustrating that his brother found the need to lie to him. To claim things that weren’t real and all for a sport. Tsukishima grew up admiring volleyball but with the heart break of deception, he ended up resenting the sport. He still played it, god knows for whatever reason, but it was never with the same desire to be like his brother; to follow along in his footsteps with blind excitement and happiness.
With his bitterness towards volleyball came his insufferable attitude. With the attitude it became harder and harder for him to interact with others. Tsukishima finished middle school with great grades and one friend and for the first time in a long time, lucky was not a term he heard or felt.
The first year of high school felt like a new low in his luck.
It started with the two volleyball freaks. First, the king of the court— the tyrant setter Tsukishima had spent mocking the last few months of middle school after watching the guy's own team turn their backs on him. It got worse with the second one— a short wannabe-ace that was way too loud and way too obnoxious for anyone to handle. It was no surprise that they were even worse together.
Then came his annoying seniors whom for whatever reason seemed to care for him and could surprisingly keep up with his attitude. Tsukishima had seriously considered quitting volleyball the first few months but Yamaguchi had been a sturdy rock and having an extra curriculum activity that kept him active was surely not something bad. So Tsukishima stayed.
And it got worse, unsurprisingly. With Hinata a middle blocker and Karasuno with this insane ambition to go to nationals there was so much pressure resting on Tsukishima's shoulders. Pressure he didn’t want nor need. Volleyball was just a club.
For his teammates however, volleyball was a need— a promise to victory. That’s probably why things turned out the way they did and an unknown school from Miyagi found itself in Tokyo out of all places, practicing with powerhouse schools.
His relationship with volleyball was at an all time low those first few days of training camp but surprisingly that’s not what had Tsukishima mentally cursing his luck, or lack of. Instead if was the players from the powerhouse schools that were loud, obnoxious, annoying and for whatever reason, completely invested in him. He will admit that there was a tiny part of him that somewhat… appreciated their existence. Which is probably why he paid attention to what they said and valued their opinion.
Long story short, alongside Yamaguchi, those annoying powerhouse third years were the reason for his change in attitude towards volleyball.
Lucky me. Tsukishima remembers thinking sarcastically to himself all those night when he stayed practicing late.
It paid off, somewhat. They made it to the finals of the nationals qualifiers. Then they won the finals, securing their ticket to nationals. Of course, that was after Tsukishima nearly broke his pinky but that’s just his luck, right?
Right. Luck.
Luck is what brought him to the first year training camp in Shiratorizawa. Because he is tall. Because the coach was probably impressed with his lucky block.
Luck is definitely not overhearing rumours about Ushijima and Oikawa out of all people. Luck is definitely not letting his mind work with the information and make quick calculation that lead him to discover a suspicious coincidence. Luck is not being so lost in thought he makes the mistake of sharing his discovery with Hinata.
Hinata is obviously of no help, especially considering he exposes his discovery to Kenma who tells Kuroo who tells Bokuto who tells the rest of Fukurodani. Up until the last day of training camp, Tsukishima is getting flooded with messages, mainly from Bokuto, Kuroo and Konoha. Even Daichi messages him and honestly, it’s probably his captains involvement that pushes Tsukishima to approach the spiker.
He regrets it almost immediately when the middle blocker from shiratorizawa gets involved but Hinata ends up putting his foot deep in his mouth and Tsukishima has no option but to save both of them from whatever embarrassment. He tells Ushijima his discovery and, well:
Ushijima doesn’t seem to care.
“Right.” Tsukishima had said to Ushijima’s retreating back before he too had walked away to give Daichi a call.
Daichi had told him to tell Bokuto and Tsukishima really, really didn’t want to.
So he told Kuroo and left it at that.
He also took Ushijima’s advice and told Kunimi and Kindaichi about it so they could perhaps tell Oikawa. Both of them refused. Before Tsukishima could go through all the trouble of trying to contact the annoying setter somehow, Kuroo called him.
“Perhaps it will be best if we leave it.”
For some reason, the tone of those words and the implication plunges his mood. He thinks back to Bokuto’s excitement every time he shared information about his soulmates. Every time he spoke he did so with pride. He rambled on for hours and hours about pain and Tsukishima has never felt any more sorry for anyone than he does now.
He thinks about apologizing when he sees him at nationals but a quick look from Akaashi sends him away. He talks to Kuroo about it.
“What are you going to say? Sorry I found your soulmates? Sorry they are assholes?” Tsukishima is not amused. “Listen. It’s not your fault, okay?”
He knows that. Of course he knows that. But he can’t help the feelings that grow within him. He can’t help the disturbance of it all. It’s his first time in nationals and all Tsukishima can think about is soulmates and for the first time in his life, he is trying to figure out where he stands in all this.
Luck. His mind easily supplies. It’s all about luck, right? But there is something about that statement that doesn’t sit right with him. Luck is not a word scholars or specialist tie in with soulmates. Tsukishima knows well that Fate is the appreciated term. Fate is something that can’t be argued against.
Fate is something he has never really considered but he doesn’t have a reason to hate the term. If he really puts effort in his research, he is sure he can come to understand why soulmates are cherished and easily accepted. Whatever is behind all this or whoever makes the bonds or forms the connections, they seem to know what they are doing.
So why was Bokuto rejected?
“There is no real time frame.” Yamaguchi stated before the start of their match against Inarizaki. Tsukishima was apparently still visibly upset about what went down that his best friend had noticed and pried his way into his thoughts. “Bokuto-san is lucky to have found his soulmates this early, but it doesn’t mean they are meant to have this all figured out now.”
Yamaguchi is of course right. It’s not like Tsukishima hadn’t considered that very fact. It just didn’t make much sense since from his perspective, Oikawa, Bokuto and Ushijima could have easily figured something out. Their paths in life seem to align just fine. Their ambitions, their passions— it just seems so perfect.
He doesn’t mention any of that however. Yamaguchi’s point is enough to settle his mind for the match. That and his friend seems to have a very strong opinion with the concept of time and soulmates. Tsukishima thinks it’s perhaps because in some twisted way Yamaguchi already knows who his soulmate is. How could he not when he dreams of him almost daily? He might not know him in real life or he might not actually be able to remember his face when he wakes up, but Yamaguchi has already built a relationship in his dreams.
Tsukishima is both perplexed and amused. His friend just keeps proving how amazing he is the more they grow. Upon reflection, perhaps luck is really a factor he can rest on. He is lucky to have Yamaguchi. Lucky to have a stable equal by his side.
Tsukishima looks around him, watches the crowd, hears the marching band of the opposing team, takes in the sight of his teammates dressed in that ugly orange that probably looks no better on him and he rests on the thought that he is lucky.
They win the match, with luck but a greater dose of skill. The time they put into practice and the passion that burns in their core is enough to beat the greatest contender. Tsukishima’s legs are burning and he feels disgusted with how he is covered with sweat and barely standing. He thinks he might even feel like he is starving as they line up to shake hands with the other players.
The tamer looking one of the twins extends his hand and Tsukishima shakes it. He hears the other one say something to Kageyama but he pays that little mind. He moves away, taking one step back and retreating his hand but in the process of that he seems to brush hands with that annoying middle blocker that was shaking hands with Hinata.
Even with how tired he is, Tsukishima still manages to feel that touch in every inch of his body,
He freezes instantly and pulls his hand back only to catch sight of a green smudge at the back of his hand, where contact had been made. Tsukishima remembers his mind going blank as he met the eyes of the middle blocker—Suna. His mind is quick to offer up a name, incapable of processing any other thought while Tsukishima’s eyes watch as the other also takes his hand back, to keep the similar green smudge out of sight.
“One day, I’m gonna set for you.” Tsukishima hears one of the twins claim just as Yamaguchi taps his back.
“Tsukki?” He calls out and all too suddenly the world seems to be moving back to normal speed. Tsukishima’s mind begins to get overwhelmed with thoughts and he is seconds away from opening his mouth to say something but—
Suna turns away first, bumping into the twin Tsukishima shook hands with after said twin kicks his brother for whatever reason. Tsukishima watches the twin give Suna a curious look before the middle blocker is giving him a pointed look and the two walk side by side to greet their supporters.
“Tsukki.” Yamaguchi calls again, this time his tone is implying his concern and Tsukishima mentally shakes his head before he too is moving to join the rest of his team.
He covers his hand the entire time. When he finally makes it to washroom he stays there staring at the green smudge until it disappears. Within the next ten minutes he spends locked up in the washroom Tsukishima is googling every bit of information he can. The key words he keeps entering are ‘soulmates’ and ‘touch’ and ‘colour’.
He can’t seem to stop his heart from beating frantically every moment after that.
The team changes together with excitement, getting ready to head back to their hostel to plan for their next match. A part of Tsukishima is so exhausted his body is ready to just shut down. The only reason he is still awake is because his mind is running a mile a minute. Yamaguchi keeps giving him concerned looks and Sugawara seems to suspect something is amiss. He can see the third year setter looking at him and then at their captain, probably debating if his suspicions should he voiced.
If the word soulmate wasn’t echoing in his head, he would be bothered and annoyed and probably throw in a snarky comment or two. Especially when they are watching the broadcast back in the hostel and the news anchor mentions how he was incapable of stopping the middle blocker’s—Suna Rintarou— quick sets. Tsukishima mentally screams.
Fortunately Tsukishima’s mental turmoil is put on pause because their next opponent is none other than Nekoma and memories of Kuroo’s teasing and taunting has Tsukishima paying close attention to their coach’s words. Tsukishima can easily concentrate on the advice and strategies discussed. He can easily interact with his teammates, give out his opinion and tease the freak duo and for a moment things just seem normal.
For a moment Tsukishima can forget he found his soulmate.
Yet the moment their team meeting ends and they are sent to bed, he unfortunately remembers it all.
And so he spends all night thinking about beating Nekoma and Suna Rintarou. He wakes up doing the exact same thing and his whole morning his being seems to be battling between a sense of excitement and dread. The worst is he can’t even figure out which emotion is tied to what thought.
“Tsukki, are you okay?” Yamaguchi asks at one point, they have maybe thirty minutes before the match starts. His friend's tone is one of deep concern so he knows he won’t be able to deter him until Tsukishima admits what’s bothering him.
Tsukishima looks at Yamaguchi, controls the urge to flat out lie and say nothing is wrong before he finally settles on maybe telling him part of the truth. He opens his mouth to speak and instantly shuts it when from across the hall, in the midst of all these people, he catches the eyes of his soulmate.
His heart misses a beat. Maybe two.
Tsukishima straightens up and mumbles an ‘I’ll be right back’ before he bolts towards the direction of his soulmate. He hears Yamaguchi shout a protest and even Azumane shouts out a concerned “where are you going?”
He doesn’t bother to turn around or say anything. Instead he glares at his soulmate and is surprised he gets the hint and walks towards the corner to turn towards a different hallway. Tsukishima follows behind him and prays that no one caught sight of the Inarizaki middle blocker or that Tsukishima chased after him.
He is not really chasing after him. He is just walking calmly as Suna continues to turn corners to different halls; glancing back every once in a while, probably to make sure Tsukishima is following. It’s really crowded but eventually Suna makes a final turn to a staircase and instead of going upstairs, he goes to the side to stand below it. Tsukishima moves to stand in front of him and they face each other.
They stare.
Tsukishima, a man of a few words feels himself almost shake because why can’t he find words to say when his mind can’t stop talking? Why is he here? What does he want? What the hell is going on? Why? How? What now? What—
“Can I?” The same voice that teased ‘don’t feel bad you are good blocker’ and ‘thanks for giving me a nice, clear hitting lane every time’ a day ago now sounds anything but teasing. It sounds cautious and excited and perhaps Tsukishima can relate with the tremble he barely catches. He looks down at Suna’s extended hands and incapable of forming words he simply nods.
Suna slowly reaches out and Tsukishima tenses, watching closely as his hands come higher and instead of going for his hands, Suna places both hands on his face.
Tsukishima swallows, two thoughts entering his head. Cold and that’s going to leave a mark, idiot.
“Huh.” Suna says. “It’s blue.” Tsukishima goes to grab his hands to quickly remove them from his face. He then let’s go to see the blue mark he left behind on Suna’s hands.
Tsukishima read about that yesterday. Read about rare bonds that allow soulmates to leave marks on each other. That sometimes colours play a role in showcasing their emotions and thoughts.
“I don’t know what that means.” Suna states. “I thought our colour was green.”
“Our colour?” Tsukishima repeats confused.
Suna shrugs in response. “Tsukishima Kei.” He then says. “I think we are soulmates.”
Tsukishima feels his eyebrow twitch. He musters up courage before lifting up one hand only to graze Suna’s cheek. The blue that’s left behind is a little darker than what Tsukishima can see on Suna’s hands. Suna watches his every move and Tsukishima takes a little pride in the way his eyes widen and his mouth twists. “Suna Rintarou, I think we are.”
A moment passes and then Suna smirks before asking for his phone and Tsukishima’s heart beats loudly for the next few minutes that follow. He gives his phone to Suna, watches him input his number before he calls himself and Suna pulls out his own phone to save his number.
Their eyes meet after that and this time Suna reaches for his hand. Giving it a squeeze before saying: “Good luck.” Tsukishima blushes red and nods politely before he makes a haste escape.
How lucky. He finds himself thinking as he warms up for the match against Nekoma. How lucky.
Lucky that they brushed hands. Lucky that Karasuno and Inarizaki faced each other. Lucky that Tsukishima grows to love volleyball more and more and wants to try harder and harder. Lucky that he now even gets to face the very same person that has been mentoring him for the past few months. Lucky that they win against a team they couldn’t even take a set from. (Even lucky that Yamaguchi chooses to question Tsukishima about the coloured smudges he saw on his friends face and hands after they are eliminated from nationals.)
It’s upsetting, being eliminated. Even more so that Hinata and Kageyama’s displeasure makes him feel things he doesn’t want to feel. It’s only after they lose against Kamomedai High that Tsukishima finally thinks that perhaps he is slightly unlucky. Of course that’s shortly lived because Suna messages him and without Tsukishima having to read the text his mind is already completely taken over by thoughts of his soulmate and how luck plays a part in all of this.
In fact. Luck is something he often thinks about when it comes to Suna Rintarou. At least for the following year and until they face each other again in the next spring national. It’s after that match when Tsukishima’s thoughts finally take a different turn and luck suddenly feels like child play when he begins to truly consider fate.
Fate is a funny thing. It works in such mysterious ways but at the end it always seems like a true indestructible truth. It’s inevitable. Tsukishima can easily attest to that. How else can he explain his life? How else do things make sense?
“Are you sure?” Tsukishima remembers asking Yamaguchi, in the back of his head the feeling of luck and the signs of fate shine with excitement.
Yamaguchi, face still pale and eyes wide as he watches the people on the other side of the court, gives him the tinniest nod. “No doubt.”
Fate makes Yamaguchi Tadashi and Miya Osamu soulmates.
“Our best friends.” Suna says that night when they are on the phone together. “Who would have thought?”
It’s fate. Tsukishima remembers thinking. It just makes sense.
And it truly does. Regardless of the struggles— of the pain of a long distance relationship, of the disagreements, of the fights— Tsukishima can honestly consider himself lucky that Suna Rintarou is his soulmate. It’s been almost six years and he doesn’t doubt that one bit.
Which is why driving to Nagano never feels like a long drive.
He makes it after noon. At a red light he pulls out his phone to text Suna that he is only ten minutes away. The red light after that he checks the response that instructs him where to park his car since Suna’s apartment complex is renovating their parking lot.
Regardless of Suna’s crappy directions he finds a spot to park thanks to the security guard that recognizes Tsukishima. The guard is nice and polite, he comments on Tsukishima’s height like always and then instructs him to take the back entrance even though there is no reason to. The guard looks way too excited that Tsukishima can’t help but play along.
He grabs his small suitcase and makes his way around. He texts Suna before he punches in the code to get in the building and he puts his phone away to take the elevator. By the time it vibrates with a response he is already on the correct floor, making his way down the hall.
Leaning against his wide open apartment door, Suna is waiting for him.
“Your neighbours could see.” Tsukishima says as a greeting and his boyfriend pays him no mind. He reaches over smoothly and with one hand captures Tsukishima’s chin to pull him down slightly to steal a kiss. Tsukishima’s lips tingle as he holds back a sound of protest. Suna pries his lips open and Tsukishima gives in, circling a hand around Suna’s waist to push him inside the apartment as they make out. Tsukishima feel’s the smirk form against his lips and retaliates by biting Suna’s lower lip while he manages to close the door behind them once they are finally completely inside the apartment.
“Kei.” Suna moans, finally letting go of his chin and Tsukishima pulls back just to lean his forehead against Suna’s “Hey.”
“I’m home.” Tsukishima says and Suna smiles before he is leaning up to kiss him again.
This isn’t really home. Nagano is not home just like Miyagi is not home. Technically speaking, they don’t really have a place to call home. So far, it’s only when they are in each other’s arms that they can truly claim to be home.
“Is that cheesy?” Suna asks when he voices those thoughts out loud. It’s been over two hours since Tsukishima arrived. They are now both changing to go out after the short showers they took.
“Yes.” Tsukishima states, buttoning up his shirt. As a response Suna slaps his ass before giving it a squeeze. Tsukishima levels him with a look while Suna blinks at him with faked innocence. “You are insufferable.”
Suna hums, barely fazed just as Tsukishima’s phone goes off. “Is that Tadashi? I already texted Samu that we would be running late.”
Tsukishima glances at his phone and frowns. “It’s Oikawa.”
Suna instantly perks up and Tsukishima grabs his phone before Suna can even extend his hand. “Let me talk to him.” He calls out as Tsukishima declines the call.
“We are running late.” He reminds his boyfriend but Suna is already grabbing his own phone and dialling Oikawa’s number as he continues to struggle with the belt on his pants. “Yo.” He says into the phone a second later. He places his phone between his shoulder and ear and hops towards the living room area while Tsukishima holds in a sigh and rolls his eyes.
Tsukishima hears bits and pieces of the conversation since Suna laughs and mocks loudly enough for his voice to travel through the rooms. He knows he is going to have to call Oikawa later to make sure he is not planning his boyfriend’s murder. Sometimes Suna manages to really get under Oikawa’s skin just like there are times in which Oikawa says the right thing to get Suna in a mood that has him unbearable as he continues to try to carry the burdens of the distance between them.
Tsukishima really regrets befriending Oikawa sometimes. Or at least allowing Suna to meet him and form this weird abusive friendship they have going on. It’s something Tsukishima is willing to bet comes down to fate— something Oikawa would hate to hear and Suna rejoice to agree upon.
“Did I miss one of your matches?” Suna asks as he struts back in the room, now fully dressed. Tsukishima sighs and curses Oikawa as he gives his soulmate the most unamused look.
“Did you?” He asks while Suna is already on his phone, probably scrolling through the calendar app. “Please enlighten me.” Tsukishima adds. “Maybe I missed my match too.”
Suna’s mouth twists in a frown. “Fucking Oikawa.” He mumbles as Tsukishima makes his way to him. Suna meets his eyes when they stand in front of each other.
“Idiot.” Tsukishima calls him, leaning to kiss the side of his mouth.
Suna hums contentedly, his hand reaching to grab him to keep Tsukishima from pulling away. Tsukishima doesn’t really fight him, he enjoys when Suna pulls him closer. Regardless, seconds later both their phones ring and they are forced to pull apart to decline both calls.
“We are running really late.” Suna comments and Tsukishima shrugs, grabbing his jacket as he leads the way out.
They take Suna’s car because Tsukishima’s was running low on gas and they didn’t want to be further delayed by stopping at a gas station. Yamaguchi texts him emojis the entire way though Tsukishima barely glances down at his phone, he is too focused on Suna singing along to the latest radio hits.
As a reward for the short concert, Tsukishima pats Suna’s cheek to leave a light yellow imprint of his hand. It’s revenge for the lingering red finger marks on his chin.
Suna parks in the designated parking area that’s just a two minute walk from Osamu’s house. They walk side by side, their hands grazing; leaving behind spots of different shades of yellow all over the back of their hands. Neither say anything until they reach the front door and Suna mutters a 'here we go’ before the door is pulled open and they are met with Yamaguchi’s unimpressed look. “You are late.” He states, hands on his waist. Tsukishima and Suna are both taller than him so his attempt at intimidation seems futile.
“Your fly is open.” Suna says, pushing past Yamaguchi as he turns red and covers his crotch area.
Tsukishima snorts, smiling at his best friend. “He is joking.” He says and then tilts his head to add: “but your hair is a little messy.”
“I was cleaning!” Yamaguchi remarks, allowing Tsukishima to pass by and taking his coat from him. Tsukishima leaves his shoes neatly to the side. Yamaguchi snickers when he does the same for Suna’s scattered shoes.
Tsukishima leads the way inside the house while Yamaguchi keeps mumbling under his breath complains about their tardiness as he follows behind. When they make it to the kitchen, Osamu and Suna are already caught in a wrestling match.
“Put it down, ya animal!” Osamu is saying, clinging onto Suna’s neck with one hand while his other hand tries to pry a popsicle from Suna’s hand.
“Just one bite.” Suna says just as Yamaguchi sighs astonished. Tsukishima himself just rolls his eyes.
“Do you need help setting the table?” He offers.
“It’s already set." Is the response but either way they move together towards the dinning table.
When Osamu and Suna join them they both seem to be chewing on food. Not at all surprising. “You got something on yer face.” Osamu declares, patting Tsukishima’s back as a greeting.
Yamaguchi snickers but quickly quiets down when Tsukishima makes a show of staring at his hair. He clears his throat, his cheeks tinted pink. “Let’s eat?”
They eat and catch up, though as usual there is not much to catch up with since their lives are well in tune with each other. Though Tsukishima may not talk to Osamu as often both Suna and Yamaguchi make up for it. If anything they spend a lot of time talking about their other friends, about the volleyball world about the inevitable.
Tsukishima feels relaxed and content. Specially every time Suna nudges him with his foot and Tsukishima kicks him back in retaliation.
Eventually the night comes to and end with them attempting to play a board game while they have a few beers. Tsukishima doesn’t drink but Suna has the day off so he lets himself fall for Osamu’s taunts and the two end up opening more than a few cans as they attempt to out drink the other. Yamaguchi sticks to one beer for most of the night but even then his cheeks are pink and he is giggling so much Tsukishima can’t help the permanent smile on his face.
At some point during the night Tsukishima finds the time to talk to Osamu privately. Their conversation is short but heavy and since he is incapable of getting anything past Suna, his boyfriend is quick to notice that Tsukishima’s mood dampens. He is also tactful to not bring it up then.
Instead, it’s when they are back at Suna’s apartment when he is questioned. It’s after Suna recklessly undresses him and makes sure to kiss every inch of his skin. It’s after Suna leaves countless of red and pink finger prints all over his body. After Tsukishima leaves darker black and purple hand prints on Suna’s waist and back.
It’s right after a very long and deep kiss that leaves Tsukishima’s body shivering with even more desire. “What are you hiding.” It doesn’t sound like a question, but Suna’s eyes are very expressive. His hold, tight and firm, even more so.
“I love you.” Tsukishima says instead of responding and Suna understands and lets the topic drop.
“Love you, too.” He says before he is climbing on top of Tsukishima and leaning to leave more marks all over his neck. Tsukishima is too lost in the feeling of it all to put up much of a fight.
They talk about his conversation with Osamu two days later, right before Tsukishima has to drive back to Miyagi.
“It’s about his dreams.” Tsukishima explains. “His soulmate dreams.”
“Those stopped when he realized Tadashi was his soulmate.”
Tsukishima bites his lip before confessing; “they’ve started up again.” Suna doesn’t have to say anything after that, Tsukishima can see it all on his eyes. The very first thing he probably thinks is why Osamu didn’t tell him. The next is probably a question as to what all this means. Tsukishima swallows before he adds the next bit; “I think they have an unbalanced bond.”
“Unbalanced bond.” Suna repeats, his eyes clouding for a second. “Like Oikawa’s?”
Tsukishima swallows and nods. “Yeah.”
Tsukishima comes to realize the true extent of his luck then because having an unbalanced bond must be a hell he never wants to experience.
The first time he heard about unbalanced bonds was when Akiteru confessed his bond with his soulmate was flawed. Flawed in the sense that their bond sometimes didn’t make sense. Not the fact that they are soulmates but rather… how fate decided to prove them as soulmates.
The thing is Akiteru and his soulmate share a none physical bond. They can share emotions when they touch. It’s not an uncommon bond type, in fact, its a very popular one. Because it’s popular there are many bonds from where specialist can study from. That’s why it’s easy to identify the flaw.
Sometimes Akiteru’s soulmate can’t seem to feel the emotions Akiteru is trying to share. Sometimes the emotions are so overwhelming, even without touching, they wont go away. Akiteru doesn’t struggle through that, but his soulmate does. Which means that after long hours visiting a specialist and more than a few tests later; their bond is declared unbalanced.
Tsukishima remembers thinking it was a crazy concept but Akiteru and his soulmate made it work. They are still together. The unbalance doesn’t change the inevitable.
The second time he hears about an unbalanced bond is when Oikawa finally admits why he rejected Ushijima and Bokuto.
Tsukishima remembers that phone call clearly even more so since Oikawa doesn’t seem to remember— he claims he was too drunk, claims that the conversation is a blur (Tsukishima knows he is lying). Regardless, Tsukishima plays along and it works out better this way since any time Tsukishima tries to bring it up Oikawa shuts down. He always changes to topic or flat out refuses to talk about it.
He always refuses to talk about them.
And Tsukishima never pushes. Not after hearing the setter’s trembling voice confessing his fear and confusion while he tries keeping his voice from cracking. “Sometimes the pain is too much.” Oikawa had said. “But it’s worse when I don’t feel it. How can I accept this when our connection is messed up? How do I fit in this?” Tsukishima was incapable of coming up with a response. “My dad used to cry about this all the time. He hated his dreams. He hated that mom couldn’t understand. Ushijima will never understand.”
“You don’t know that.” Tsukishima remembers saying.
Oikawa had laughed. “I do know that. It’s always been like that. He only cares about the inevitable. He doesn’t care about me.”
Tsukishima doesn’t know much about Ushijima but he knows Bokuto and there is a not single world he can picture in which Bokuto wouldn’t come to understand Oikawa. Ushijima is not your only destiny. Tsukishima remembers thinking but he doesn’t get a chance to voice that to Oikawa.
Instead he confides his worries to Suna.
“I guess he had a reason for being a dick.” Is what Suna says. Tsukishima agrees, once again finding himself thinking of how lucky he is. It’s strange considering how much he used to hate that term. But an unbalanced bond is not something he wants to experience. Not when it makes strong individuals like Oikawa cower from two soulmates that would probably move mountains for him.
Not when it begins troubling Osamu enough for him to seek out Tsukishima for comfort instead of his best friend or soulmate.
“Osamu loves Tadashi.” Suna tells him as he places his hand on Tsukishima’s cheek for comfort.
“I don’t doubt that.” Tsukishima replies, meeting Suna’s eyes.
“But?”
“I just have a bad feeling.”
“Your brother made it work.” Suna reminds him. “And no matter what bullshit Oikawa splutters, any idiot can tell he is gone for his soulmates. The way I see it he is just scared of not being enough for them.”
Tsukishima snorts, grabbing a hold of Suna’s hand to move it away from his face so he can run his fingers around his hand to leave little colourful trails. “Please tell me you’ve never told Oikawa that. He might pop a vein.”
“It’s a matter of time.” Suna says, a smirk playing on his lip. “Soulmates are inevitable.”
Tsukishima hums. “Oikawa thinks believing in that makes our feelings for each other artificial and meaningless.”
Suna grabs both his hands tightly. Tsukishima doesn’t need to look down to see that the colour is probably a deep red. Passion. “Oikawa is an idiot.” Suna counters. “Luck, fate, destiny— who cares? I love you because you are you.”
Tsukishima snorts, turning his head away from the intense look in Suna’s eyes. Not a second later and Suna is reaching for his face again, this time grabbing a hold of his glasses and putting them aside so they can make out in peace. “Why are you laughing.” Suna says in between kisses. “Don't be an asshole and say it back.”
“I can’t stand you.” Tsukishima says, letting Suna intertwine their fingers together. “You always say the most disgusting things.”
“It’s my charm.” Suna replies, teasingly grazing Tsukishima’s lips with his own.
“Ew, piss off.”
Suna ends up carrying Tsukishima back into his bedroom and that ends up meaning Tsukishima leaves two hours later than he expected. The only consequence of that is that he is going to lose a few hours of sleep but he doesn’t really mind. The next time he is going to see Suna is probably for that stupid MB-showdown that Tendou and Kuroo set up.
It’s unfortunate, the distance between them, but Tsukishima has learned to come to terms with it. Suna is probably bothered more by it than him, mainly because he always wants to one up him in everything— Tsukishima blames Osamu for his competitive nature. But regardless, even with the distance Tsukishima still finds himself feeling lucky.
It’s a common occurrence when it comes to anything related to Suna Rintarou.
Tsukishima spends the majority of his drive thinking solely of his soulmate. It’s when he is just a few minutes away from his own apartment that his mind drifts to Osamu and their conversation. He thinks about his brother then before his mind supplies him memories of conversations with Oikawa about his unbalanced bond.
By the time he makes it home Tsukishima can’t seem to push his worry away.