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Of course Merlin knew this day would come. As convincing as he was as the bumbling fool of a man servant, he was actually quite intelligent. So he knew that, one day, Arthur would find out that he had magic. But he didn’t prepare for it, he didn’t prepare because he still clung to the blind hope that maybe, just maybe, Arthur wouldn’t find out.
“I have to leave.” There was no room in Merlin’s voice for argument, but Gwaine was a stubborn bastard.
“Merlin, stop being such an idiot and listen to me,” Gwaine snapped, sitting on the bag Merlin was trying to pack, “Arthur will not have you executed - how could you think he would, after all this time, after everything you’ve been through together, why would he kill you? He loves you Merlin - you know this!”
“He doesn’t, not anymore, not after today. And as for why he would kill me, I don’t know, maybe the fact that I'm a warlock would incite him to personally hoist me onto a pyre and burn me himself!?” He cried hysterically before shoving Gwaine onto the floor so he could continue to pack.
“Fuck me, Merlin, you are aware we’re talking about Arthur, not his father? Actually, better question, have you had your memory wiped? Have you forgotten about the time he helped the druid boy escape? Have you forgotten about the multiple occasions he has disobeyed a direct order and risked his life for you, Merlin? Have you forgotten, or did I hallucinate you telling me all of this? He would not hurt you.” Gwaine stood again, grabbing Merlin by the shoulders and slamming him into his cupboard. He was angry with Merlin for thinking Arthur would do anything to hurt him, but he was even angrier with Arthur for allowing Merlin's imagination to run as wild as it was.
“You’re right, all of that is true - but you’re missing out the parts where he always, always ends up hating magic again. He hates magic, and he hates sorcerers, and he sat by whilst his father killed them, whilst his father killed innocent people! And now he is going to watch me burn, too!”
Gwaine took a step back. He had never seen Merlin like this. He had seen him stressed and tired and angry, but never had he seen Merlin so… hysterical, so completely full of fear. Merlin was shaking so hard that when he tried to tangle his fingers in his hair, he actually missed the first few times, his usually pale skin was blotchy and red, tear tracks highlighting the desperation that simmered beneath his skin. Merlin’s bedroom door creaked open and Lancelot slipped inside, closely followed by Gwen.
Lancelot took in the sight before him, the half packed bag on the bed and the broken, unrecognisable Merlin beside him.
“You’re leaving, then?” He said, arms crossed.
“Yes, he is, bloody fool. I’ve told him that he won’t be executed.” Gwaine said, rolling his eyes as Merlin went back to his bag.
“Merlin, how can we make you see? Arthur will not kill you. His love for you is stronger than his father’s beliefs about magic.” Gwen’s voice was panicked.
“No!” He shouted, taking a deep, calming breath when Gwen flinched, rubbed his hand over the small cut on his neck, and continued, “You were not there. You didn’t see how he reacted.”
~~~
It was supposed to be a simple hunting trip - perhaps thinking it was going to be a simple hunting trip was too much temptation for the universe, who just had to balls it all up. It had only been the two of them, just Arthur and Merlin, alone in the forest for a few days - it was meant to be relaxing, a moment of peace away from the hustle and bustle of the castle, and it had been.
Until today.
As Merlin and Arthur were packing up to return to Camelot, they heard the sound of twigs snapping, the official soundtrack for trouble. At first it seemed to be three, maybe four men sneaking up from the north - which they could handle, but, over the sound of Arthur’s sword being drawn, they could hear five, six, seven more. They were surrounded.
As the bandits moved closer, weapons raised and lips curling into a sneer, Merlin realised that this would likely be it. He would be the first to admit that Arthur was skilled, but even he was going to struggle. Merlin had to do something, otherwise they were both going to die here.
He flinched when they shouted, rushing forwards, and for a moment he wondered if Arthur would have laughed at him. Arthur managed to kill two of the bandits almost immediately, twisting from one the other in a move that would definitely have thrown Merlin's back out, before he was overpowered. A third had Merlin pinned to a tree. The remaining few were advancing on Arthur and-
This is it, he thought.
He raised his hand, took a breath and closed his eyes.
He had never realised how far his voice carried, how the foreign words rolled so naturally off his tongue, how, when spoken aloud for everyone to hear, they seemed to sound that little bit more magical. He never noticed until now, when the bandits had fallen to the leafy floor, dead, before Merlin had even finished the spell. Arthur stood before him, his sword hanging limply from his hand as he watched Merlin’s eyes fade from fiery gold.
“Arthur…” He began, but he didn’t know what to say. The look of betrayal on his face caused any coherent thought to die in his throat.
“You have magic?” Arthur breathed, shrugging helplessly. All Merlin could do was nod and watch as betrayal morphed into confusion, and then pure, unadulterated rage. Arthur lunged forwards, sword now held tightly in a white-knuckle grip, and, with his free hand, he slammed Merlin back into the tree, the sharp blade pressed painfully to his throat.
“Arthur. Please.” He blinked, eyes wide with shock. He had hoped Arthur would surprise him, spare him - but apparently he would have no such luck. He couldn’t very well lie his way out of it now - not that he would want to.
Arthur pressed the blade more firmly against his throat and Merlin tried desperately not to wince. He failed.
“Don’t be so pathetic. How could you betray me like this - after everything I’ve done for you?!” Arthur shouted, so close to his face he could feel spit land on his cheek.
“I’m sorry, my lord - I was going to tell you, I swear, I was just waiting for the right time. I wanted to sit down and talk to you about it, I was-”
“Enough!'' Arthur roared, taking a few steps back. Merlin immediately fell silent and averted his eyes. He used his sword to point to Merlin's horse. “You will leave. Immediately. When I return I do not wish to see you.”
Merlin may have fallen to his knees, had it not been for the tree behind him.
“Arthur, please, can we talk about this?” His voice cracked at the end, a few tears falling when he realised that Arthur wouldn’t even look at him. Merlin nodded and tried to blink away the tears before squaring his shoulders, mounting his horse and riding away.
~~~
The sound of Arthur’s door slamming open echoed through the whole castle, only no one heard because Morgana shouted louder.
“Arthur Pendragon what on earth is wrong with you?”
Arthur pinched the bridge of his nose so hard it’s a wonder it didn’t bruise.
“Please, Morgana, feel free to come in, make yourself at home.”
Morgana ignored him, choosing instead to stand toe-to-toe with him, staring him down with a look that would have made a weaker man cry.
“Explain to me why my Gwen has just visited me, in tears, I might add, because Merlin is leaving? How could you let this happen?”
“How could I do this? You have got to be joking. He has lied to me - he has lied to me every single day since we met, and you do not think I have a right to be angry?”
Morgana jabbed him in the chest. “Don’t you dare put words in my mouth. Of course you have the right to be angry, but you should not have left him in fear for his life - it’s heartless!”
“I have given him so much, Morgana, I have risked everything for him time and time again, and all along he has been lying to me. How do I know who he truly is? Magic is evil, Morgana, and those who use it are dangerous, and he has worked his way into my life, into my he-”
“Really?” She said, looking as though she had been slapped in the face. “Magic is evil? You do know it’s me that you’re speaking to, don’t you? The same, scared child who confided in you about bad dreams that seemed to predict the future, all those years ago? The same girl who you swore you would protect if Uther ever found out about my gift. If you put him to death, if you make him leave, it will be over my dead body.”
Arthur had the decency to look ashamed, finally averting his gaze, but he still didn’t look convinced. Morgana took a small step forward, her finger still pressed hard into his chest.
“If you kill Merlin, you will be killing the only person who has ever helped me.” She hissed. Arthur looked up in surprise.
“What do you mean he helped you?”
“The day he arrived in Camelot, he knew I had magic - I’m not sure how - but he committed himself to helping me learn, to helping me control my gift and to use it for good. He is a good man - you know he is a good man, he is your good man and he thinks that you are going to execute him.”
~~~
The other knights had joined Gwaine, Lancelot and Gwen in Merlin’s chambers and for a moment, all Merlin could think was how tiny his bed was, what with six fully grown adults squashed onto it. They had all tried, to varying degrees of failure, to convince Merlin that yes, he should stay and no, Arthur would not kill him.
Leon sighed. “Merlin, we have all known about your magic for some time now - you truly were obvious about it - but you must know that we would never let any harm come to you. If you believe nothing else we’ve said, you must believe that.”
“I do believe you. You are loyal friends, but your loyalty to the King, to Camelot, must come first. I must leave, I must leave so that you do not have to choose a side.” Gwaine clenched his fists and made to move, no doubt to try and shout some sense into Merlin, but Percival held him firmly around the waist.
Gwen rose and stood before him, her hand gripping his forearm, “Merlin, we may not agree with your decision, but we will support you.”
Merlin opened his mouth to thank her, but he was interrupted by Gaius’ door slamming open. Everyone jumped up - everyone except Gwaine, who fell off of Percival’s lap - and stood in front of Merlin, who was trembling again. Only a second later did Merlin’s door crash open, revealing a rather distressed Arthur.
Gwaine got up, planting himself firmly at the front of the group.
“He’s leaving. Let him do so in peace.” Gwaine looked as though he was physically restraining himself from killing Arthur with his bare hands.
“He’s not going anywhere. Not until I’m finished with him.” Arthur said calmly.
“No. I will not let you harm him.” Gwaine swung at Arthur, who ducked and pushed him into Lancelot, who hauled him back.
Merlin was still shaking, but there was a look in his eyes, not quite acceptance - perhaps he was just resigned.
“It’s okay. It’s okay, whatever the King has decided, he will have decided for the good of Camelot. I trust him to do what’s right.”
Arthur tried not to be offended by the skeptical looks he received, he really did, but he couldn’t help forcing the door closed on everyone the moment they left. Merlin kept his gaze fixed on the floor.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” He was surprised to find that his voice carried no bitterness, in fact there was an uncharacteristic tenderness lacing his words, and this, he thought, could be what caused Merlin to look at him, to really look at him and see that he wasn’t angry.
“I’m sorry, si- Arthur. I wish I had told you sooner, but you must understand why I didn’t - the danger it would have put me in.”
Arthur stepped forward cautiously and when Merlin made no move to distance himself, arthur placed his hand on merlin’s shoulder, just where it met his neck, and brushed his thumb gently over the thin cut there.
“You are an idiot, Merlin.” Arthur sighed, “ I do understand why you hid it - but you must know that I would never have killed you. Despite what my actions may sometimes suggest, things have changed since my father was king.”
“I know. Of course I know that; it’s down to me having made you less of a royal prat.” Merlin said with a cheeky grin, glad of the normality.
“I’m serious, Merlin. I would never hurt you, no matter what you did or said.” Merlin nodded, leaning into the hand that was still on his neck.
“Good.” Arthur moved his hands to Merlin's hips, pulling him in protectively. “Now how about we get rid of my knights, who are no doubt still at the door, and then you can tell me about all the times I missed your magic.” Merlin simply wrapped his arms around Arthur's neck.
“Come to think of it, a lot of falling branches seem to make sense now.”