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Simon
I swear to Merlin, I’m going to prove that Baz is a vampire, if it’s the last thing I do.
He’s been acting so suspicious lately; I know that he’s plotting. Ever since seventh year started, he’s been avoiding me. I barely see him besides in the mornings and nights. He rarely even makes comments in class anymore. And do you want to know the reason why he’s avoiding me? It’s because he’s plotting. All the time he’s spending away from me, he’s using to formulate a plan to take me down.
It’s driving me mad, not knowing where he is, and what he’s doing. I need to know what his plan is; if he’s going to try to kill me, I need to know.
That’s why I need to prove that he’s a vampire once and for all. If I can get proper evidence of Baz’s vampirism, I can finally convince the Mage that Baz is evil and can avoid being killed by him.
“You need to help me, Pen.”
Penny looked up from her Latin assignment and rolled her eyes at me from across the table. We were in the library. Penny dragged me here because she thinks I haven’t been completing my assignments (I haven’t, but that’s because I’m too busy making sure that Baz doesn’t kill me). I’m supposed to be doing my Latin assignment like Penny is, but I can’t focus. I keep thinking about Baz and his whereabouts.
“The only thing I want to help you with is your assignment. If this is about Baz, I refuse to help.”
“But- but Penny! He’s plotting.”
She glared at me. “You have no evidence of that. You’re just paranoid.”
“I’m not paranoid,” I snapped. “Why are you acting like the idea of Baz plotting my downfall is ridiculous? He’s tried to kill me multiple times!”
“He hasn’t actively tried to kill you since fifth year. Nowadays, he just taunts you. He’s harmless.”
I scoffed. “Baz and the word ‘harmless’ should never be used in the same sentence.”
“Simon, I don’t have the patience to deal with this right now.”
“No, Penny, listen to me.” She pressed her lips into a tight line. “He’s plotting. Why else has he been avoiding me? Why else is he barely speaking to me?”
“I don’t know, Si!” She said exasperatedly. “Maybe he's just trying to focus on school. Maybe he’s tired of fighting with you. Either way, isn’t this what you wanted? You’ve always hoped that Baz would leave you alone, and now that he has, you’re complaining ?”
“I- it’s just- this isn’t what I meant! Yeah, I wanted him to leave me alone, but this is different. I know he’s plotting. That’s the only reason why he isn’t fighting with me.”
“Whatever,” Penny says, slowly turning her attention back to the assignment. “You’ve filled up your Baz quota for the day. We’re done talking about him.”
“But-”
“ No ,” She said, and pointed her pen at me in a threatening matter. “Focus on your homework.”
“Fine,” I huffed, and tried to work on my Latin, even though all my thought centered around Baz and his plots.
Baz
Snow’s following me.
I’m sure of it. Ever since seventh year started and I’ve decided to stop antagonizing him, he’s been trying to stalk me. He’s not doing a good job. Even though he’s annoyingly persistent about following me, I’ve managed to still avoid him for the most part.
I’m sure that he thinks that I’m plotting. He glares at me in classes, and when I come back to our room late at night, he whispers to me, “I know what you’re up to.” I never answer him or entertain a conversation with him unless necessary. It would defeat the whole purpose of avoiding him.
Over the summer, I realized something.
That no matter what, I was always going to be in love with Simon Snow.
Before, I thought there might have been a way to get rid of my feelings. But I’ve tried everything; from actually plotting against him to trying to wank my feelings away. And nothing’s worked.
So I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s impossible for me to fall out of love with him. I can’t say I’m surprised. My whole world has revolved around Snow since the day we met. It was never going to stop revolving around him. Simon Snow is the sun, and I’m crashing into him. And nothing I can do can stop that.
Since coming to this realization, I decided to avoid him. No, I’ll never stop loving him. But , I can try to prevent myself from falling for him any further. Everytime I taunted him or got into a fight with him, I became even more infatuated. Nobody besides Snow ever stood up to me. Nobody had the guts. That's what makes him so special; he’s a brave fool, who doesn't fear anything or anyone.
If I didn’t interact with him, I could stop myself from loving him more than I already do. If I stopped talking to him, it might hurt less when he inevitably killed me.
Unfortunately, Snow is not making it easy with the stalking and accusations. It’s like 5th year all over again.
Still, I persevere. I’m not going to let Snow break my heart more than he already has.
Simon
I’m all alone on my mission to out Baz as a vampire. Penny made it clear she won’t help me.
Whenever I try to bring up Baz’s plotting with Penny, she ignores me and won’t talk to me until I change the subject. She finally snapped one day and said, “I’m not helping you with Baz. You have no solid proof. If you keep talking about him and his plots, I will spell you mute everytime you bring up his vampirism.”
She didn’t mean it. She sincerely apologized to me afterwards for threatening me, and said she only said that because she was angry. Still, I now try to refrain from talking about Baz’s plots with her.
I also can’t speak to Agatha about Baz. Actually, I don’t really speak to her at all right now. We’re on another break. Two weeks ago, she told me she needed time to herself to think about some things, so I had agreed to a break from our relationship. We haven’t really spoken since then, so it’d be a bit awkward to ask Agatha for help with Baz.
Also, I think she likes him . Last year, Baz would flirt with her all the time. Whenever he did, Agatha would blush and act flattered. It made me go insane. Half of Baz and my fights last year were about Agatha. Though this year, he’s stopped flirting with her. Maybe he was only flirting with her to get to me.
I guess that's the only good thing about Baz’s sudden change in behavior this year.
Nonetheless, I still need to figure out his plot. Even if I don’t have any help, I’m still going to find out what he’s up to, and also prove that he’s a vampire.
I just need some physical evidence. Maybe if I caught him feeding, or even just saw his fangs, it would be enough proof.
I consider following him to the Catacombs. I can spell myself invisible with Now you see me, now you don’t, and catch him in the act. But Baz would probably still be able to tell I’m down there. Vampires have a heightened sense of smell, don’t they? He would be able to sniff me out and kill me.
How else do I get proof? A truth spell? Most are highly illegal though. If I try one on him I might get kicked out instead of him, which would defeat the whole purpose of my plan.
Ugh. Maybe I should do some research. That’s what Penny always tells me to do when I have to deal with any other problem.
Baz
Change of plans, instead of avoiding Snow, I’m going to kill him.
His stalking and accusations have worsened in the past two weeks. He comes to all of my football practices. He watches me eat during meals, as if he’s waiting for my fangs to slip out. I can barely go out at night to feed, without him threatening me. Everytime I go out, he says vaguely menacing things about how he's going to catch me in the act and get me kicked out of Watford.
He’s followed me to the Catacombs a few times. I know he thinks he’s being discreet, but he’s not.
Due to his stalking, I haven’t been able to feed in the past few days. I know if I don’t drink any blood soon, I’ll go mental. I also know that if I try to sneak out again, Snow will follow me once more.
I’m on the verge of starvation, and if Snow dares to threaten me again I’m going to drain him. I’ll hate myself for it and might immediately off myself afterwards, but he’s asking for it at this point.
Why can’t that idiot leave me be? Isn’t this what he wanted? He’s always telling me to fuck off and leave him alone, and now that I have, he has a problem? I despise him. He’s the bane of my existence (and the love of my life, unfortunately).
I need to find another way to feed before something bad happens. I need to come up with a plan.
(Or, as Snow would put it, I need to come up with a plot .)
Simon
Research hasn’t really helped me. Apparently there are little to no spells that are useful for hunting down your vampire roommate/archenemy who’s plotting your downfall.
Once, Penny caught me reading a book about vampires. I had read that particular book before in 5th year, but I thought that rereading it might help me now. When Penny saw me, she dramatically sighed and rolled her eyes, like she was trying to make it clear that she thought what I was doing was stupid. I ignored her.
“Honestly, Si, this is so ridiculous. There is literally no evidence of Baz plotting. Have you considered that he might not be avoiding you because he’s plotting?” she asked.
“Yeah? Why else would he be avoiding me?” I asked absentmindedly, as I tried to find my place in the book again.
“Well, maybe he’s not actually avoiding you. Maybe he’s just been too busy with other things to harass you.” She let out a laugh. “Maybe he’s secretly dating someone, and he’s sneaking around.”
My head snapped up at that, and I forgot all about the book. “ What ? Baz is dating someone? I- who the fuck is he dating?” I said, suddenly angry. “Is it Agatha?”
Penny raised an eyebrow at me. “Calm down, Simon, I was just joking. Baz isn’t dating anyone, as far as I know. Also, I don’t think Agatha is the one he would be dating if he was. They haven’t really talked this year, have they?”
“No, they haven’t,” I replied, feeling better. The thought of Baz dating someone made my skin itch for some reason. I don’t think I would be able to handle it if Baz and Agatha dated. “Thank Merlin. He’s evil. I don’t know what Agatha would see in him.” Besides how fit and intelligent he is, obviously. And talented and athletic. But besides that, there’s no reason why she would fancy him.
“Whatever, it doesn’t matter what she would see in him. What matters is that you’re acting incredibly annoying. Stop obsessing over Baz. You need a hobby. Preferably one that isn’t related to anything Baz.”
“I’ll find a hobby after I find out what Baz is up to.”
Penny rolled her eyes. “I don’t know what I keep trying to reason with you, considering how fucking stubborn you are.” Penny stood up. “I’m leaving. Come find me when you’re done with your ‘research.’”
That encounter with Penny happened three to four days ago, and have yet to find a new hobby.
Baz
I’m going to feed tonight. If I don’t, I’m going to go mental.
The plan is to skip dinner, and spell myself invisible so if Snow tried to track me, he won’t be able to.
Most mages aren’t religious (including me), but today I pray to every deity out there that Snow’s so distracted by his dinner that he doesn’t come looking for me.
Simon
When I enter the dining hall tonight , Baz isn’t here. He usually comes to dinner with his ‘minions’ (that’s what Baz calls his friends. He’s such a twat), but they’re both already here. He’s clearly off plotting somewhere.
“Penny,” I hiss at her. She turns to me with a raised eyebrow. “Baz isn’t here.”
“And? What should I do about that?”
“I- Penny. I need to go look for him. Skipping dinner is part of his plot.”
“Simon, are you hearing yourself? Are you aware of what you’re saying?”
I let out an annoyed huff. How could Penny not see what Baz was up to? “Yes, I’m aware of what I’m saying. And now I have to go find Baz.” I turned to leave, but Penny quickly grabbed my arm. I tried to free myself from her grip, but it turns out Penny’s remarkably strong. “Penny, let go.”
“No. C’mon, Simon, let’s go get dinner.”
“I need to find Baz.”
“Baz can wait, you can find him after dinner. Also, there’s roast beef for dinner. Your favorite.”
She was right, it was my favorite. I guess… I guess I can confront Baz after dinner. I’ll make sure that he tells me what exactly he was doing.
“Okay,” I say, and a relieved smile spreads across Penny’s face. “I’ll find him after dinner.”
“Great,” She said, and pulled us towards our usual table.
Baz
I drained an entire deer tonight, along with a couple of rabbits in the Wavering Woods. I knew I was starving, but I didn’t realize how bad the hunger was until I was finally able to sink my teeth into the deer. I spilled some blood on my collar while feeding, which hasn't happened since I was twelve. I guess I was so desperate to feed that I forgot how to control myself.
I decide to stay in the Catacombs for as long as I can, hoping that when I return to our room, Snow will be sound asleep. I visit my mother’s grave and then wander mindlessly through the Catacombs.
When I’m convinced that it’s late enough, I make my way back to our room.
Simon
Baz is taking forever to come back, which means he must have been off plotting a lot tonight, considering that it’s nearing midnight and he’s still not back.
I’m sick of him, and his silence. I’m going to make him tell me everything that he's been up to. I’m not going to let him continue avoiding me. I think if I have to spend another day with a cold, distanced Baz, I will go off.
I’m snapped out of my thoughts when I hear someone come up the stairs.
It’s Baz , I realize. He’s finally here .
When he opens the door, he looks surprised for a second before a mask of indifference slips back onto his face. Ha . He probably thought I would be asleep by now. Jokes on him, I would have stayed up the whole night waiting for him to come back. I’m not letting him go so easily this time.
I’m the one who breaks the silence. “Where were you?”
He ignores me, and walks over to his closet and opens it.
“Where were you?” I repeat. He just continues to ignore me. He pulls out his pyjamas, and I realize he’s probably going to try to go to the bathroom and avoid my questions. Well I’m not going to let him.
When he tries to make his way to the bathroom, I quickly block him. I know he’s still trying to look cool and unbothered, but I can see his jaw clenching. “Move, Snow.”
“Not until you answer my question. Where were you?”
He sneers at me. “I don't know how that’s any of your business.”
“It is my business! If you’ve been plotting, I need to know.”
He scoffs. “You’re ridiculous, Snow. I wasn’t ‘plotting.’”
“Yeah? Then where were you?”
Baz’s hands curl into fists and it looks like he’s considering punching me. Fortunately, he doesn’t, and instead closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. “I was… visiting my mother’s grave.”
That wasn’t the answer I was expecting. I had forgotten that his mum was buried at Watford.
I suddenly felt guilty. Was he really just visiting her grave? If he was, I feel like a downright prick for annoying him like this.
But-but he had been gone for hours. He couldn’t have spent all that time with his mum, right? He had to be lying.
“You’re- you’re lying!”
Baz opened his eyes and glared at me. “Excuse me?”
“You’re lying. You were gone for hours. You couldn’t have spent all that time down there visiting your mother. You were plotting, like you’ve been for weeks .”
“I’m not lying. And if you don’t believe me, that’s not my fucking problem. Move now.” He tried to shove past me, but I pushed him back.
“You’re not going anywhere until you tell me what you’ve been plotting.”
“For fuck’s sake, Snow! I haven’t been plotting anything!” He shouted angrily.
“Yes, you have! That’s why you’ve been avoiding me, and why you barely speak to me anymore. You’ve been busy plotting my downfall. And that’s what you were doing tonight.”
He looked at me like I was insane. Then, he smirks. “Is that what this is about? You haven’t been getting attention, so you accuse me of plotting your murder?”
“No that’s not why-” I try to interrupt, but Baz won’t let me.
He walks closer to me until we’re almost face to face. “Have you considered the fact that maybe the world doesn’t revolve around you? That maybe I haven’t been avoiding you, I just have better things to do that waste my time around you?” I can feel my magic rising with each of his words.
“Isn’t this what you wanted, Snow? Didn’t you want me to leave you alone? I finally listened to you, and instead of being grateful, you stalk me? What the fuck is wrong with you, Snow? Why can’t you just leave me be? “
I finally exploded. “Because you’re lying! The Baz Pitch I know would never avoid me! He would never back down from fighting with me. So I know that you’re lying about having better things to do. I know that you’re a vampire, and that you’ve been working on a big evil plot while avoiding me. Just admit it! ”
Baz’s eyes widen with fear, and I don’t realize until it’s too late that I said my words with magic.
Baz
I can feel the words rising in my throat, ready to spill out of my mouth without my consent. I try to press my lips together to stop myself from speaking, but I’m no longer in charge of my body. Snow’s magic is.
“You’re right, I am a vampire,” I'm forced to spit out. The words taste like bile in my mouth. “But I haven’t been plotting. I’ve just been avoiding you because I’m tired of fighting. But you won’t leave me alone. You won’t let me breathe. You just have to follow me everywhere. You want to know what I was doing tonight? I was draining animals in the woods. I haven’t been able to for the past few days because I was scared that you were gonna catch me in the act and kill me right there. But I had to go tonight because I was so hungry and desperate that I felt like I was going insane if I didn’t. So there. That’s what I was up to tonight. I wasn’t planning your downfall. I was just trying to survive.”
When I’m finally done with my forced confession, I step away from him, the weight of my words hitting me.
He’s going to turn me in. I’m going to be kicked out of the World of Mages.
“Well, Snow,” I said, urging my voice not to crack. I felt like I was going to cry. “Congratulations. You win.”
He doesn’t say anything, just stares at me with wide, shocked eyes.
“Will you at least let me say my goodbyes before turning me in?” I ask. It comes off sarcastically, but I’m completely serious. If he let me say my goodbyes, I would even promise to go peacefully.
“What?” He finally croaks out.
“Can I say my goodbyes before you turn me into the Mage?” I ask again. “At least let me talk to Dev and Niall one last time, they’re just down the hall from us.”
He’s looking at me confused. “What-what’re you talking about?”
I suddenly feel angry. Why is acting so stupid and confused? “Crowley, Snow. Are you deaf? Why do I have to keep repeating myself?”
“Because I don’t know what you’re trying to say to me!” He yells. “Why do you keep going on about me ‘turning you in?’”
“You finally got what you wanted. You have evidence of my vampirism, so now the Mage will finally believe you. I can’t believe you’re still standing here, and rushing to deliver the happy news to your mentor.”
“I never- I never said that I was going to the Mage.”
I let out a bitter laugh. I couldn’t believe him. Was he really going to deny the truth? “Yes, you have. In fact, you’ve told me hundreds of times. About how when you finally got proof, you would go straight to the Mage so that he could kick me out of Watford.”
“Yeah, but that was in the past. I never said I was going to go now,” he replied.
“But you are going to go now. You just haven’t yet.”
He shook his head. “No, I’m not,” he said stubbornly.
“Why the fuck not?” I snapped, annoyed. He was clearly going to turn me in. I don’t know why he was dragging it. Maybe it was just to torture me.
“Why should I?” He demanded.
“Because! I’m a vampire. I’m an evil monster, just like you’ve said a million times before.
He looks hurt by words for some reason. “No, you’re not.”
“ What ?”
“You’re a vampire, yeah, but that doesn’t mean you’re evil or a monster.”
I can’t believe what I’m hearing. “Snow. Are you listening to yourself?”
He juts his chin out, like he’s getting ready to fight me. “Yes. And I’m right. I mean, you said it yourself. You’re not plotting. You’re just trying to survive.”
“Yes-but still.” Crowley, I can't believe I’m the one having trouble with words. “That doesn’t change the fact that I’m a vampire. And vampires are inherently evil.”
He shakes his head vigorously. “No. You’re wrong. You’re not evil. And I’m not turning you in. I’m sorry for casting that truth spell on you.”
I think I must be hallucinating. There’s no other possible explanation for what’s going on here. Snow can finally get what he wants by removing me, but instead, he’s not going to and he’s apologizing to me?
“You’ve clearly lost your mind,” I say, shaking my head in disbelief.
“No, I haven’t.”
“ Yes , you have. Or else you would be turning me in right now. And honestly, Snow, I would understand it.” He looks at me like I’m crazy one here, so I continue, “Even if you suddenly claim that I’m not an evil monster, I still am. I’m a terrible person who doesn’t deserve mercy. After all, I’ve treated you like shit for years. And I can’t believe that you’re just standing there, instead of staking me through the heart like you should have years-”
I don’t get to finish my self deprecating speech, because Snow grabs me by the shoulders. At first, I think he’s going to fight me, like he was supposed to earlier.
“Wait, Snow, Anathema-” I try to warn him, but he doesn’t listen, and instead he grabs me by the collar.
I suppose Anathema will make an exception for him. He’s just protecting himself from his evil roommate, after all.
I close my eyes and wait for the punch.
It doesn’t come.
Instead of feeling his knuckles against my face, I feel his lips.
Simon
I didn’t think before I kissed Baz.
I just needed him to shut up. I didn’t want to hear him going about how evil or terrible he was. Because it wasn’t true. I had been wrong all along.
He wasn’t a monster. He was just a vampire.
He was just a boy.
So I decided to shut him up. With my lips, because for some reason that seemed like the most practical option at the time.
He doesn’t kiss back at first. He stands frozen. When I realize that he’s not kissing back, I try to pull away. He doesn’t let me though. He finally starts reciprocating, and wraps an arm around my waist. I try not to grin and ruin the kiss, but it’s hard. It finally feels like I’m doing something right. Like this might be a breakthrough for me and Baz.
I think I might be Baz’s first kiss. He’s letting me take the lead and seems a bit inexperienced.
He catches on quickly though. Soon enough, he’s kissing me back with the same intensity that I’m kissing him with.
Somehow, we end up on the floor, with me in Baz’s lap. (I don’t mind though. His lap is very comfortable.) He’s holding onto my hips, and I have one hand on his neck and the other in his hair, running my fingers through it like I’ve always imagined.
Eventually, we break apart so that we can catch our breath. I let my head fall against his shoulder, and one of his hands reaches up into my hair and absentmindedly plays with my curls. We both remain quiet for a few minutes. I try to collect my thoughts, and try to figure out a reasonable explanation as to why I kissed him mid argument. (I don’t have one. I just really wanted to kiss him.)
I decide to stop stalling and look up at him. He’s staring at me with an intense, studying look. I don’t know if it’s a good or bad thing.
“Hi,” I finally say, and I try to give him a warm smile. He doesn’t return it though. Instead, he frowns at me.
“Why did you kiss me?” He asks. Way to get straight to the point.
I shrug, which only makes his frown deepen. “That’s not a real answer, Snow.”
I sigh. “I dunno. To shut you up I guess,” I say jokingly, but Baz doesn’t take it that way. His grip on my sides loosens, which doesn’t seem like a good sign.
“Is that the only reason you kissed me?” He asks, in a cool, measured tone.
“No,” I rush to stay, trying not to already screw up the only good thing Baz and I have. “I also just really wanted to kiss you.”
“Since when?”
I shrug again, and he rolls his eyes. “I don’t know. Does it matter?”
“Yes, it matters,” He snaps “How do I know that this isn’t some trick?”
“Why would I kiss you as a trick?” I ask, confused.
“So you could get my guard down, which would make it easier for you to attack me.”
“I- what the fuck?”
“C’mon, Snow. Don’t pretend that you’re suddenly okay with me being a vampire. I know you’re still going to turn me in to the Mage. This is probably just part of your plan.”
I let out a laugh. I can’t help it. “I’m sorry, are you seriously accusing me of plotting right now?” Oh, how the tables have turned.
He scowls at me. “Fuck off. That’s not what I said, you numpty.”
“Baz,” I say seriously, because I really need him to believe me. “I’m not going to turn you in, just because you’re a vampire. I realize now that you’re not evil. And I’m sorry for the truth spell.”
He groans. “I don’t understand,” he says exasperatedly. “Years of accusing me of plotting and being a vampire, and now that you finally have confession, you won’t use it? Is it just because you feel guilty for using magic on me?”
“No,” I say stubbornly. “It’s because I know the truth now. And the truth is, you’re not evil, or a monster. You’re just a boy.”
Baz
He’s looking at me so earnestly, it makes me want to stop arguing and just kiss him again. But I can’t.
“I still don’t understand,” I start, and this time he’s the one to groan.
“Crowley, Baz, aren’t you supposed to be smart? Haven’t you figured out yet that I would much rather snog you than get you kicked out of the World of Mages or get you killed?”
It takes a lot of self control not to smile at that. “You never said that.”
“I thought that was implied when I kissed you.”
“Oh,” I say, stupidly.
“And I think you enjoyed snogging me as much as I enjoyed it.”
“ I never said that,” I snap quickly, because I refuse to let myself be honest.
“So you didn’t enjoy it?” He asks tentatively, like he’s worried that I’m going to reject him.
Like that would ever happen.
“I did enjoy it,” I say, and a grin spreads across his face. “And I suppose I would also rather snog you than be staked at the heart.”
He presses a quick kiss to my cheek. “So let’s just continue doing this, then.”
“What exactly is this , Snow? Kissing?”
“Yes. Let’s do that.”
“So what, we just go about kissing like happy boyfriends, and forget about the rest?”
He looks at me like I’m an idiot. “Why are you saying that like it’s a bad thing? That’s what I want. Is that not what you want?”
Of course that’s what I wanted. But it doesn’t mean I could have it. I sighed. “That’s not- even if that’s what I wanted, it’s not that simple, Simon.”
“Yes, it is. I think both of us will be happier this way. I certainly will be.” He presses his face against my shoulder again, like he’s trying to hide away. “This way, you have to spend time with me. These past few weeks, you avoiding me was driving me crazy.”
“Because you thought I was going to kill you.”
“No, because I missed you.” He mumbles against my shoulder.
This entire ordeal feels like one of my fantasies come true. And maybe I should just let myself enjoy it instead of fighting it. “Well,” I say quietly. “Maybe I missed you too.”
He shifts his head so that he’s now looking at me, and gives me a shy smile. “Yeah?”
I nod. “Yes.”
“So… boyfriends?” He asks.
“Yes,” I answer, and I try not to sound giddy. “Let’s try being boyfriends.”
“Okay, good.” He lifts his head off my shoulder and cups my face in his hands. “I think I’m gonna enjoy being your boyfriend much more than fighting,” he says, and pulls me into a kiss.
I’m more than happy to agree with him.