Chapter Text
Raven was having a nightmare. Held by Slade, forced to watch the world come to ruin by the apocalypse, the one she was prophesized to bring. She flew back to the tower, but his voice followed her, even there. So, the little girl thinks she can hide in the tower. She was supposed to be safe here! Thunder flashed on the sunny day and suddenly Slade was behind her again. “Relax, Raven, I just want to show you something.”
His hand hit her shoulder and suddenly they were at the park. “Do you remember that little boy?” Slade asked. Wearing a yellow dinosaur t-shirt, mini-cargo shorts and sneakers, he couldn’t’ve been more than 5 and had his family nearby. Of course she remembered him. She had flown him away from a giant robot last week into the arms of his crying mother.
What was surprising was after the battle the boy ran up to her and insisted she join their picnic. Actually, Raven realized, standing stuck next to Slade, this was that scene. The mother hadn’t had the heart to refuse the boy, far too glad he was alive and knowing he’d been scared too. So, Raven and the rest of the Titans had been invited to join their picnic. Robin showed him some moves, Starfire braided the little sister’s hair, Beast Boy started playing with the dog, Cyborg started talking tech with the Dad, and quietly enjoying some food and peace, Raven was startled when the Mom came up to her.
“Sorry,” the mother said, smiling. Shaking her head, Raven motioned for her to sit. “I just wanted to say thank you.” Raven froze. The woman, though, was too wrapped up in her own emotions to notice. “My little boy is alive because of you. You know, when he grows up he wants to be a firefighter.” She said, choked up. She swiped at her eyes, “He’s admired your group from a far and he just wants to make a difference in the world. Thanks to you maybe he can.”
Slade’s voice rang out. “You’ve bought him a week, maybe even a year. Certainly not long enough to be a firefighter.” Another clap on the shoulder, another bolt of lightning and flash of thunder, and this time faces of everyone she saved flew by so fast she got dizzy. “All these people you’ve saved to prove to yourself that you are a good person. All of them in vein. But, of course-” One last pat on the back and thunder/lightning clap and she was in the common room, watching as the group last night had watched a movie. “These are the ones you should really be trying to save.”
“Do you really think your friends can protect you?” She fought back tears. She knew they couldn’t. “Of course not. You don’t care that you should be protecting them.” His voice echoed, “Come to us, Raven, and we’ll be sure to spare them.” Her eyes flew open.
She looked at the time; 11:55PM. She didn’t have long. Slade was right and she needed to address this issue. She wasn’t a fool and didn’t believe for a moment they’d spare her friends, and even if they did, what good would that be if everyone else everywhere was rock?
She darted to her research bin hidden away, frantically looking through to find what she had come up with. Only two options, still- the Dagger and the Mirror. She cursed in her head. The Mirror wasn’t feasible. Despite her best efforts she couldn’t even tell if it existed. She was out of time.
Double checking the knowledge she’d memorized by heart she made sure one last time that she knew what to do. She packed a satchel with all the supplies she’d need, putting it under her cloak, as well as all her research, just in case. There was no coming back, after all. She wrote out the full story with no details spared and put it with a duplicate of her research in a time-lock chest. She set it for a year, that way no matter what, either the universe would be dead or they would be too late to save her. Then she wrote out, what was essentially, a will.
It specified who could be trusted with what and what to do with certain dangerous items. Notably: she left the mirror to Cyborg, whom she hoped could use it given their little adventure. She left most of her books to Robin asking him to put them in the Archive when he was done with them. Starfire got any of her clothes or any mystical items she could identify (She knew that on her own turf the Tamaranian was incredibly intelligent and if Starfire had heard of it, she would know it was important enough to treat with respect).
To Beast Boy she gave a Memory Crystal as well as the projector that could display any of the memories she deposited in it. She left him a message, as well as all their happiest memories together. She also promised him he could go in her room whenever he wanted and told him that if he looked in her top drawer he’d find a spray to put on her pillow, to help him sleep. She didn’t tell him it was her perfume, mostly for his dignity, but she knew he would figure it out.
Then she wrote them a letter explaining she was going on a journey of sorts and not to expect her to come back. She explained that she was going to go destroy Trigon and she had to do it alone or it wouldn’t work. She told them how lucky she was and how much they meant to her as well the fact that they all had taken her in when she thought she couldn’t be loved. She begged them not to look for answers but promised the time-lock chest would open when the time was up, explaining everything. She attached individual letters to the will, trying to keep them brief. They varied in success but she’d be gone soon anyways. She then attached the personalized letters to the long note.
Quietly, she put it on her door before gilding down the hall to the kitchen, planning on grabbing food before she left. She probably shouldn’t’ve been as surprised as she was to see Beast Boy in the Kitchen. Backing up, she contemplated what to do. Deciding it would take too long to wait him out, and there was no way she could avoid his hearing, she landed and walked out, surprised yet again, to see that Beast Boy was, in fact, raiding her tea supply.
She cleared her throat, watching with wry amusement as he jumped, squealed, and turned into a fly for a moment, before landing sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. “R-Raven! What are you doing awake at this time of night?”
“Watching you raid my tea supply apparently.” She smirked as he paled, then as he stammered out an excuse about trying it after Cyborg decided to light his tofu on fire since he needed the protein. A genuine laugh left her, easy and melodic, stopping his rambling in his tracks. His astounded expression turned outright flabbergasted when she said, “Go ahead, try a few different types, or take them all.” She shrugged. “I’ve decided to take a break from tea.”
“Are you okay? First you come out here and laugh, then you tell me I can have your tea, then you tell me it’s because you don’t want tea?! Do you need a doctor?” She laughed again. It felt good. Beast Boy looked like a ghost.
“I’m fine. I promise. I just came out to get some food.” She went to grab a slice of bread deciding to keep her satchel hidden until he left. She ate and watched as Beast Boy watched back.
Resisting the urge to sigh she decided to speed up the process. He had just about finished the tea anyway, so she made her move, “You’re a really good friend, you know that?” She leaned forward and kissed his cheek. Just as she planned he became an incoherent mess before darting off to his room. She giggled, for what would probably be the last time in a long time, if ever, and started shoving her bag full of food.
She had just gotten to the door when she realized something and flew back to her door as fast as she could. Too late, she arrived to see him there reading the message she’d left. She noticed the personalized one was unopened. “Why didn’t you tell me?” There was heartbreak in his voice but it warred with betrayal.
She stood there for a moment trying to figure out what to do. He’d already seen. She closed her eyes to hide the tears. “Goodbye, Beast Boy.” She turned to go when she felt a hand, impossibly gentle, on her wrist.
“Please, at least tell me what’s going on. You’re scaring me.” She wanted nothing more than to tell him everything, not just for her own sanity, but because the hurt in his voice was causing her physical pain.
Ever used to denying herself, she shook her head. “I can’t. I promise you, I know what I’m doing, okay?”
“Raven, if you can’t tell me what’s going on, at least let me wake the other to say goodbye.” It was a dirty move and they both knew it but he was scared and more desperate than he cared to admit.
“You wouldn’t.” There was a venom in her voice that she reserved for villains. He couldn’t take this choice from her, there was too much at stake!
“Raven, please. Just talk to me.” She hesitated, then, sighing, she tugged him into the living room.
Sitting on the couch, she started. “Trigon created a prophesy, went through a powerful ritual to do so. Which is why he’s been out of commission and nothing more than a legend up until very recently.”
BB sat opposite her and nodded, understanding, but looked confused. “So he did a stupid dance to make his decision more credible. What’s the problem? We’ve dealt with bigger more prepared villains all the time. Plus even if he, was using magic, you have magic too.” He knew his arguments were weak, but he had to try. Raven hardly ever let him in, and when she did, although he tried to be respectful, it was sometimes terrifying.
Raven shook her head and continued. “The ritual was to make sure time itself wanted it to come true.” She saw his eyes widen minutely. “See, time protects itself, but the ritual wove his magic into the fabric of the future, making sure that if it didn’t come to pass all of space and time would implode. It would be as though nothing ever existed and there would be not a soul to mourn it.”
Something about that imaged sent an involuntary shiver through BB. “So what’s the game plan?” He asked, unwilling to assume they were just going to lay down and die. Raven smiled a little at him for that. He smiled back, grateful he’d gotten through to her.
She turned somber, thinking of her duty, and, without even realizing it, the air grew heavier around her. Literally darkening, compressing. Having never seen this before, Beast Boy was afraid to bring this to her attention lest she lose all remaining control and crush him. Besides, even though it was slightly harder to breathe, and the grief threatened to crush or drown him, he realized this was a fraction of her mindset and he felt quietly honored to be able to feel this, maybe it’d show him a way to help her better.
He put a hand on her arm, grounding her, just in case. She noticed, and, warmed by the gesture placed her hand on his. He tried to hide his surprise while Raven tried to accept these few moments of honesty. There was no more time to dance around like they had done since they knew each other.
“There’s only one thing that can be done. But it requires a journey.” She stopped, wondering if she should say any more. Even though she wanted to tell him, wanted to know he’d forgive her, even be so bold as to wish he’d share her final days, she had no doubt he’d try to stop her, or worse, get the team to stop her.
BB smiled, standing, hands behind his back, “Sweet! I’ll go get packed. It can be just the two of us.” It was devoid of any suggestive tone. If anything it sounded like it was asking permission. It also managed to bring the air back to normal.
“No.” Raven said. “I have to do this alone.” She was expecting his smile to drop, and technically it did, but she was surprised to see it was not replaced with the sad puppy dog look she was steeling herself against, but a determined yet somehow unimpressed response as he slowly sat back down.
“Raven, I know this is personal and I know you didn’t want to take anyone. But I can help. I won’t tell anyone if you don’t want but…” he hesitated trying to figure out if she’d get mad at him before deciding there was no better way to say it. “I don’t want you to lose to this. I can’t.” So quietly neither of them were sure if he had wanted her to hear him, he muttered, “I won’t survive it.”
If Raven hadn’t been caught so off guard she would’ve had no problem keeping the tears from springing from her eyes. As it was, she swallowed and blinked, maintaining composure. “Look, I appreciate everything you’ve done for me, but this is something only I can do. I have to go. I’ve waited too long already.” She stood and started walking away.
“Raven, I’m not just letting you leave! Not when it’s killing you.” She choked back a hysterical laugh. If only he knew. Back to the matter at hand, she looked at him. She took a step towards the door, he followed. She glanced around finding something that would work. She didn’t need long, just a minute or two. Finally she realized she couldn’t trap him with anything because he’d just shapeshift. Stalking back to her room she went to the time-lock chest which was against the far wall.
“Do you know what this is?” Raven asked when he followed her. She had many chests in her room, so he really didn’t. He shook his head. “This is where the answers are.” He hesitantly took a step forward and she nodded, inviting him in.
“Hey, Raven?” He asked, hesitantly stepping into her room. Last time hadn’t gone so well, his thoughts flickered back to her mirror. “You’re not coming back, are you?”
She paused. “No. I’m not.” She tried to smile at him. “It’ll be fine.”
He was at the foot of her bed now, and she made her move. She brought some sleeping powder to his head. Using both that and her mind powers she calmed his struggling brain to sleep. Mentally checking to make sure he wasn’t faking, she caught him with her powers as he fell unconscious, laying him gently on her bed. Then she left, taking one last look at him before setting off on her literal suicide mission.
She noted it was 1:52 when she left. Grimly, she realized she wouldn’t have much time. She had asked the Titans to respect her wishes not to be found but she didn’t expect for a moment they’d listen. Robin got up at 5AM every single day for his training so she didn’t have too long, especially not when going up against the jet, which they would surely use. She flew up above any cameras and started off. It would be almost 3 hours to get there anyway.
She cursed herself for getting attached but even moreso letting them get attached. She had traded in her comfort for their pain. Flying faster she didn’t dare teleport because she thought that much magic might tip off Slade. She fled to an abandoned barn she’d found the first week she’d landed on Earth. It was her place and hers alone, which is why she almost never went there. No one could know about it. She welcomed it’s rusty corrugated roof and dirt floor, smiling a little at the sight. It had 4 walls, a roof and was out in the middle of no-where. All she needed, and given how dangerous she was, all she could really ever have. Well, should have.
She flew in and prepared the circle, famished from pushing herself so hard. She ate and recited the incantation that would take her to her home. She wasn’t worried the Titans would pull her back. That was impossible. But what she was doing- she had no idea what the consequences would be. It wouldn’t do to save the world but have the portal explode and kill her friends. Incantation finished she waited as the portal opened and she flew to Azeroth.