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“Uh… Tubbo whose that and what are they doing with my cat?”
All Ranboo wanted to do was sleep. Escape the mess that was politics and sleep .
Apparently not.
Instead, he had to walk in on his only friend and some dude doing sketchy things with his cat.
All he wanted to do was reach his room, and flop down onto his bed. He just wanted to sleep after the discussion that went down earlier that day.
“Oh uh- we aren’t doing anything with the cat your princeliness-”
“Don’t call me that!”
“Yeah yeah," Tubbo continued. As if there wasn’t a kid holding his beloved cat in the background. “Anyways, as I said we weren’t doing anything with the cat. Enderchest… she… she snuck out herself!”
Ranboo stares at his friend, who was obviously lying.
“Tubbo you are a terrible liar,“ the kid interjected from the background.
At least someone said it for him.
“Ok, first I want you to tell me who that is in my room. Then tell me what you were actually doing with Enderchest,” Ranboo said.
If they don’t have a good reason he might just self-combust.
He really loved his cat. He really did, and the thought of some kid doing something bad to her did not spark serotonin.
“Let me introduce myself. My name is Tommy, Royal Gaurd in training extraordinaire!” the kid announced from the back of the room.
Tommy walks over to stand next to tubbo. “And for the record, we weren’t doing anything morally wrong.”
“What about stealing someone’s cat is morally correct?” Ranboo snapped back.
“Stop assuming that we stole the cat. It’s rude to assume, even if it’s true.” Tubbo added in.
“Tubbo!” Both Ranboo and Tommy said at the same time.
“Just saying, it is true,” Tubbo rolled his eyes.
“Question, what do you feed the cat?” Tommy asked.
“I’m pretty sure he doesn’t feed the cat himself. I don’t think he knows what she eats!” Tubbo “whispered” to Tommy.
“I heard that,” Ranboo said.
“Uh-huh, no you didn’t Big Man,” Tommy denied.
“But in case you’re wondering, I feed her leftovers from the kitchen,” Ranboo answered the earlier question.
“Which one?” Tubbo questions.
‘There’s more than one kitchen in this place!?” Tommy squawks. “Why is there more than one kitchen in this place!?”
“The royal one, and yes there’s more than one kitchen? Pretty sure everyone has more than one?” Ranboo replies to both of them.
“Nah buddy, that’s just you with your three kitchens,” Tubbo said. “Also did you know I’m banned from all the kitchens here?”
“Yes tubbo, I do know that. I was there one of the times you got banned.”
“Three kitchens!?”
“Yes, three kitchens. Actually- tubbo what do you eat if you banned from all the kitchens?” Ranboo asks.
Tubbo stared at Ranboo for a good three seconds before answering. “Uh, I just eat at dinner? And lunch. And breakfast? The servants have their own place to eat you know that right?”
“What does the food taste like tho?” Tommy cut in. He had obviously gotten over the initial shock that the castle had three kitchens.
Tubbo pauses for a few seconds as if thinking about whether he liked the food or not.
“Not good, but not bad either.”
“What about you Tommy? Where do you get your food from?” Ranboo questioned.
“Well, I just go to the store like normal people, I normally stop at this real good stand that gives out sandwiches.”
Ranboo is 99% sure surviving off of just sandwiches is not something that is healthy, but who knows what else Tommy might eat. Maybe he stops by some other store in his free time after the sandwiches? Or maybe he does just survive off of sandwiches. Ranboo honestly wouldn't be surprised.
“You guys should get to try the royal food,” Ranboo said. Little did he know, that would lead his life downhill from there.
Tubbo shakes his head. “And how would we do that? I’m banned from the kitchens, and I doubt Tommy’s gonna be aloud in the royal kitchen. Actually, I don’t think any non-royals are allowed in there. Besides servants and chefs to help of course.”
“We’ll steal it then.”
Tommy almost chokes on his spit. “I’ve only known you for a good 10 minutes but I never thought you would suggest stealing something. You seem like too much of a goody-two-shoes.”
Ranboo glares at him. “I’ve broken plenty of rules before!”
“Ranboo, Ranboo, you couldn’t break a rule if you wanted to. You can suggest it, but you couldn’t break a rule to save your life. It goes against your very nature, Bossman.” Tubbo said in a dramatic voice. He even acts it out.
Tommy visibly wheezes.
“Shuddup. Just tell me what you think of the stealing idea?”
Tommy stops wheezing, leaning his head back grinning. “I love it! It’ll be like a heist! We’re a trio doing a heist! A Heist Trio!”
“So, it’s confirmed that we’re doing a heist? A kitchen heist?” Tubbo asks.
“I’d say yes. Should we meet in a few days to talk more about it?” Ranboo answers.
“Thursday, Sun High, here in this hallway. I know Tubbo doesn’t have shit to do on Thursday, and neither do I.” Tommy immediately suggests.
“I have a meeting to go to in the morning, but I’m about 98% percent sure ill be able to make it-”
“Good enough! Anyways, I’d best be going now! I forgot I needed to do something!” Tommy cuts him off, sprinting in the direction of the stairs.
Tubbo stands there for a few seconds.
“I’ll be in my room, this is awkward now that Tommy’s not here.”
Ranboo nods, watching the other finally leave his doorframe to head to his room.
Ranboo sighs, closing his door behind him as he walks into his.
His room is empty, save for a cat bed and his dresser. He likes his room empty, he’d rather decorate a place that feels like home than a place that isn’t.
He lets Enderchest jump into his arms. He flops onto his bed.
Ranboo picks Enderchest up by the sides, kind of like Simba. He’s holding her over his head and staring into her eyes.
“Glad you’re okay Enderchest.”