Work Text:
I thought I couldn't love anymore
Turns out I can't
Not for the same reasons as before
Remy looked around the kitchen of the apartment he used to share with his former lover. It was filled with twinges of him. The sink piled high with dishes, the cabinet dedicated to burnt pans because though Kaeya had never been the best at cooking, he still tried. Remy smiled fondly at the memory, dropping his smile when he realized who he was thinking about. He should’ve been better. He shouldn’t have stayed out all night, he shouldn’t have spent so much time with Linguine. Remy thought that at least if Kaeya left, he’d have Linguine. He took solace in that fact, before Linguine ended up leaving with Colette.
I use everyone I ever meet
I can't find the perfect match
Abuse those I love
While I ostracise the ones who love me back
Remy remembered the fights. He remembered them clearly, too clearly. Kaeya shouting about how Remy was never home. Yelling about how Albedo never treated him like this. How Albedo was home, how Albedo comforted him when he was upset. Remy regretted so much. He regretted everything. Instead of apologizing, he shouted back. He told Kaeya he was just being dramatic, how he was thinking about it too much. Kaeya argued about Remy pushing him away, how he was keeping secrets. What did Remy do? He left, like a coward. Looking back on it, all Remy could do was bang his head against the wall and hope the memories would go away. It should have been expected they’d break up.
On the path of least resistance
I find myself salting the earth
Every time that I miss you
I feel the way you hurt
He shouldn’t have been surprised when he heard that Kaeya had gone back to Mondstadt. Remy wondered what Kaeya’s adoptive brother would think of the fact that Kaeya had finally snapped and broke up with Remy. Maybe he’d be happy. Relieved, possibly. Diluc had been telling Kaeya that he was bad news since the beginning, that the relationship would only go to trash. He was warning him. Maybe Diluc would be proud of Kaeya for noticing the red flags and breaking it off. Remy thought that maybe he was happy with his friends there. He hoped he was.
And I don't deserve you
You deserve the world
Though it feels like we were built from the same
Dirt
Remy knows that he never deserved Kaeya. That Kaeya had always been too good for him, the idea perpetuated by the way Remy had treated him. He had to give Kaeya props. He stayed strong through all of it, if he wasn’t drunk. Remy had noticed that he was drunk quite a lot. Kaeya deserved everything after what he’d been through. They were so alike. Maybe that’s why Kaeya had stayed with him, because deep down, they were made of the same stardust. Built from the same dirt. Kaeya deserved everything. Remy wished that he could have given that to him.
Oh, I hate to say it but your brother was right
Don't trust English boys with far too much free time
I hate to say it but your brother was right
I'm nothing but a problem, leave you crying overnight
Remy hated that Diluc was right about him. That he WAS trouble, that the relationship did go to shit. During an argument, Kaeya had once seethed out that in Mondstadt, people looked down on people like Remy. People who were angry at their partners for no reason, at all times. People who mistreated their lovers. Remy should have listened to him. He couldn’t count how many times he heard Kaeya break down because of him, and it hurt Remy in the moment but instead of helping him, he went to his local bar. It was pathetic. Remy chuckled to himself on how pathetic, how dumb he was.
And I hate to say it but your brother was right
I can't focus on the future, only my short sight
I hate to say it but your brother was right
I'm a wanker, complete wanker
A fucking waste of time
Remy had never been good at planning past 2 weeks in the future. He was a big “I’ll deal with it when I get there” type of person. Kaeya was the opposite, planning months ahead to things that might now even happen. They were complete opposites in every way, from the way they dressed to their favorite colors, to their bedrooms, and their species. At their core, they were the same, but everything past that was completely different. Diluc really was right about him. He was an asshole, a wanker, and most importantly, a waste of time.