Archive of Our Own

Mark pulled up the car at the new place and smiled over at Tim. It really was a lovely place- similar to David and Patrick’s place, in that it was set back from the road, surrounded by a garden. It was a small old-fashioned brick place, but unusually all on one level, there was a large tree overhanging the driveway and the back garden was wonderfully manicured by the previous owners- an elderly couple who had moved to be closer to their family.

‘Welcome home honey.’ Mark smiled and Tim grinned at him. Mark hopped out of the car and rushed around to the other side, opening the door. ‘Sir?’ he said with a smirk, holding out his hand.

Tim smiled and took his hand, he didn’t really need help out of the car but it was a nice gesture. Mark kept hold of his hand and led him to the door. He unlocked it and then looked at Tim with a mischievous expression on his face.

‘Don’t even think about it.’

‘C’mon I didn’t get to do it when we actually got married.’ Mark pouted. It was true, they had gone straight on their honeymoon from the wedding, and a delayed plane, some mosquito bites and a generally bad mood when they returned meant they’d shuffled into their old place after with little thought for tradition.

‘Go on then.’ Tim shook his head. He looped his arms around Mark’s neck and he expertly lifted him up. A well-practised gesture from times he was too weak to walk or needed help, it felt nice to do it for another, better reason. Mark seemed to sense that and quickly kissed him before pushing the door open.

The house opened up into a short hallway all soft wood tones and the light slanting in from the door behind them. Down the hall, it opened up into the large living room, which had a plush carpet and a stone fireplace. It looked huge with no furniture, a palace after their small flat in Elm Glen.

‘Welcome home.’ Tim said as Mark kissed him. He lowered him down and Tim looped his arms around Mark’s waist and leaned up, feeling his husband lean down and wrap his arms around him. He’d always loved the fact he was quite a bit taller than him, that feeling of being wrapped up by him never failing to make him feel safe. They pulled apart and smiled.

‘How about a walk around our new place before we make a mess of it with all our stuff?’ Mark asked.

Tim nodded and took Mark’s offered arm. Again a well practised gesture for when he needed help, and though he was fine now, more than strong enough to walk unaided, the comfort of it felt nice. They walked the length of the living room and towards the kitchen, which was small and cosy, fitting a small table that the previous owners had left them. On it was a small basket.

‘Oh my god!’ exclaimed Tim. The previous owners had left them a care package.

He pulled it towards him and handed the card to Mark. Inside the basket was a packet of coffee and some teabags, some cookies, a loaf of fresh bread, some cake and a bottle of wine. Mark opened the card and read aloud.

‘Dear Mark and Tim,

We asked our neighbours to drop this off the day before you move in, there’s milk and butter in the fridge too, and soap and toilet rolls in the bathroom. The Harris family have a spare key (but they’ll give it back if you want!)’

Mark laughed at that.

‘Enjoy the cookies and cake too...and the wine is to toast your new home.

We were very happy here, this town knows how to look after folks so I hope it looks after you too (avoid the curry at the cafe that’s our only tip). May you have a wonderful life together here.’

‘Well, that’s just annoyingly sweet.’ Tim said, opening the fridge. It seemed the neighbours went above and beyond their milk and bread delivery and included some fruit and vegetables as well. Tim laughed ‘We have gone full small town.’

‘I think we have.’ Mark smiled, as Tim came back over to him. ‘Happy?’ he asked.

‘Very.’ Tim answered ‘C’mon let’s finish our tour.’

They wandered through the rest of the house, checking on the spacious bathroom that had the luxury of a separate shower and bath, and was clearly something the previous owners had spent a lot of money on. Mark eyed up the bath with joy thinking of winter nights in it. Tim clearly had other ideas.

‘Room for two.’ he winked.

‘One track mind.’ Mark said, kissing him. Then added ‘That shower is pretty roomy too.’

They went to the spare room, which was painted a soft yellow and right now, the morning light was making it all but glow. They’d lucked out here too, with the owners throwing in their spare bed and the wardrobe with the house, and it was already homey and cosy.

‘David and Patrick’s room?’ Tim smiled. It was slightly ridiculous given they lived all of fifteen minutes away, but they also knew their friends would be staying over a lot. The recent weekend with David’s parents had cemented them as part of the family.

‘David and Patrick’s room.’ Mark grinned ‘I’ll even let David decorate it.’

They walked next door to the master bedroom, which overlooked the garden with huge windows. Tim stood and looked out at the garden.

‘If we put the bed here.’ Mark mused standing by the opposite wall, ‘We can see the garden from bed.’

It was part of the reason Tim had fallen in love with the place. He’d sat on the bed alone when they’d toured it and realised he could see the garden from the bed. Mark came up behind him and wrapped his arms around him, kissing his neck. They were long past the point of being constantly sad about it all, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t- shouldn’t allow themselves the odd moment.

‘Look there are worse views to be stuck in bed looking at.’ Tim said smiling, then turned and kissed his husband ‘And worse nurses.’

Mark wrapped him in a hug and buried his head in his neck. Tim got it, his husband was the one who wore his heart on his sleeve a bit more, where Tim deflected with jokes and silliness Mark felt it all for both of them. So he let him for a minute before pulling back.

‘Listen to me husband.’ he said ‘We are going to be really fucking happy here.’

Mark grinned at him and nodded, taking him by the hand and wandering the last bit of the house, a box-room that was going to be his office space, meaning he could always work from home if he needed to. They wandered outside into the garden which was looking sparser than usual as the last of the snow thawed. But it was beautifully maintained with a lawn and flower beds, and another tree.

‘We should put a bench there.’ Tim indicated the bench ‘And maybe get a shed...I feel like David is going to insist on a lot of gardening equipment.’

‘Maybe a greenhouse too.’ Mark mused, David’s enthusiasm for plants was rubbing off on him and he figured there were worse hobbies to have. Tim grinned at him and he shrugged, he hadn’t had time for many hobbies lately and this felt nice.

‘We will get you a greenhouse.’ Tim said. ‘I mean you got us a house, the least I can do is get you a little glass one to go with it.’

Mark laughed, the strolled around the garden once more before heading into the house. They still had a little while before Ray was due to arrive with their furniture. He’d insisted on shooing them out the door to get to their new house, and while they’d have to go back later to clean, and later this week to get it ready for the rental agency but they had a few minutes to brew their first cup of coffee in their new house. And in Tim’s case start to devour the cookies while he waited. Just as Mark was pouring the coffee the doorbell rang.

‘First time!’ Tim said with glee and got up to open it, Mark followed along behind.

It was of course David and Patrick stood beaming on the doorstep. Well, they were beaming behind two huge boxes they were both holding. David’s being more comedy as the plants it was full of all but obscured his face.

‘Happy New Home!’ he declared from behind it.

‘Did you bring a jungle?’ Tim laughed and stepped back as David shuffled awkwardly inside with the plants he got as far as the living room before putting them down with an

‘Oof.’ and scurrying past his husband and out the door.

Patrick was carrying a Rose Apothecary hamper and handed it to Mark.

‘An array of edible and inedible things.’ he smiled.

‘I will try not to drink the body milk.’ Mark winked.

‘I heard that!’ David said coming in with the second box of plants.

‘I tried to stop him.’ Patrick said, holding his hands up in apology and getting a glare from his husband.

‘Indoor plants.’ David gestured, then to the other one ‘outdoor plants.’

‘Much appreciated.’ Mark said, kissing his cheek, ‘I was just telling Tim we should get a greenhouse…’

‘YES!’ David exclaimed with a little bounce.

‘This sounds like a conversation that needs coffee…’ Tim said, jerking his head towards the kitchen.

They were sipping coffee and chatting when a familiar

‘Knock knock!’ came from the front door which they’d left unlocked purposefully, and because in a place like this you could. Ray and his assistants- his poor long-suffering niece and nephew who had joined his businesses in recent years- were there. Predictably all hell broke loose for the next little while. But with credit to Ray, or more accurately Zoe and Greg all their furniture and boxes was moved in off the truck and into the correct rooms within 30 minutes. Patrick made coffee and gave Zoe and Greg a cold drink and some cookies which they sat on the steps gratefully eating.

‘Thank you Ray, we appreciate it.’ Mark said with a smile. ‘I know we didn’t give you much notice.’

‘Anything for a friend of Patrick and David’s.’ he beamed ‘And who knew my removal business would take off so much, it’s a dream!’

‘For you Uncle Ray.’ Greg said from the step ‘we’re the ones doing the lifting!’ he said it with a fond grin, and Patrick knew Greg enjoyed working for his Uncle’s still eclectic businesses.

‘We’ll head over and clean it later before you take the rental photos.’ Mark said, because of course it was Ray who was taking on the lease, despite it being technically out of his normal jurisdiction.

‘Oh but Penny was already there cleaning?’ Ray said ‘She’ll be done by now I was going to take the photos later- we have some wonderful staging furniture ready to go!’

‘Penny’s cleaning it?’ Mark said, looking at David and Patrick. Penny was Jocelyn’s cousin who had taken over some cleaning and housekeeping for them while Patrick was sick- and still was, just to help out. ‘Would you two know anything about this?’

‘Well it was a long drive back there.’ Patrick offered.

‘And you’d have lots to do here...no sense in wasting all that time driving back and forth…’ David raised his eyebrows.

Mark shook his head, and smiled. This was very much David’s doing; he could tell he had his dad’s need to give but with a slightly more attuned radar to what people needed.

‘Just be thankful my husband didn’t have the llama shipped to your garden too.’ Patrick interjected, reading Mark’s mind.

‘Oh my god can-’

‘Absolutely not.’ Mark cut his husband off before he started. ‘I will allow visiting a llama. I am not having one in the house.’

‘I only said garden.’ Tim pouted

Mark wrapped an arm around him ‘You would feel sorry for it, and I would come home to a llama in my living room would I not?’

Tim looked sheepish. ‘Yeah probably.’

Mark wrapped his arms around him and laughed. ‘That said...we’ve got space now, maybe a cat.’

Tim’s face lit up like a kid’s at Christmas.

‘You all heard that.’ he said ‘we can hold him to it now.’

‘Witnesses.’ Ray grinned, ‘I know a person at the shelter too if you need it.’

Patrick grinned. Of course, Ray did. Finishing their coffee he and the other two packed up the last of the empty boxes and made their way out. Naturally, they split up across the house, Tim taking Patrick to the bedroom to start unpacking, David and Mark putting the indoor plants out of the way for now, and into patches of light where they needed it. Then hauling the outdoor ones outside so David could explain the best places for them.

Mark walked them around the garden, David stopping to point out where plants he’d brought could go.

‘It’s a nice space.’ David mused, the garden was smaller than theirs, hemmed with smart wooden fences, but it was flat and open with a patio at the house end and a hedgerow at the bottom. ‘My dad would say the barbecue should go there.’ he nodded towards the corner of the patio.

‘Noted.’ Mark said, then grinned ‘Hey we’ll have to have your parents over for a barbecue whenever they visit next. Well in barbecue weather.’

David smiled ‘Johnny Rose thinks any weather is barbecue weather.’ he looked at Mark ‘Really? you want to invite my parents over? I mean you’ve met them right?’

Mark laughed, ‘And I like them. Of course, my husband will mercilessly tease me that it’s just a longstanding crush on Johnny Rose.’

David wrinkled his nose, ‘That is up there with my mother insisting Patrick is ‘just like your father dear.’ he did a pitch-perfect impression of his mom complete with gestures and Mark laughed. Then he took David’s arm and led him towards the bottom of the garden.

‘David, I don’t know how to break this to you...but she’s right.’ Mark laughed at the face he made ‘Patrick is patient and kind and wholly sensible, now I don’t know your dad that well but I think that’s a pretty fair assessment of his character.’

‘He’s clever too.’ David offered, ‘I mean they both are.’ he rolled his eyes ‘My dad is the smartest person I know...I never appreciated it as a kid but he is. I mean don’t get me wrong he’s also fond of interfering, and always being right but annoyingly he is always right.’ he stopped and huffed ‘Much like my husband.’

Mark laughed and patted David’s arm.

‘Tim is a lot like my mom.’ he offered.

‘Really?’ David always imagined Mark’s parents to be a lot like Patrick’s- wonderfully normal sensible people.

‘Really.’ Mark confirmed ‘She was a hairdresser- I don’t come from fancy people.’ he sounded embarrassed and David squeezed his arm. ‘So obviously with the profession, she could talk for days without coming up for air, much like my dear husband. She was also fond of outlandish anecdotes and embarrassing people she was related to.’

‘Again, you’ve met my mother…’ David smiled, he liked the sound of Mark’s mom.

Mark nodded ‘But she was also the kindest person I’ve known- we didn’t have much, especially after my dad died when I was fourteen.’

‘I didn’t know that.’ David said softly, he knew Mark’s dad had been gone a while, but he didn’t realise it was that young ‘That must have been tough.’

‘It was.’ Mark agreed, ‘But I guess it also made me...resilient to things.’

David nodded, and they rounded the bottom of the garden.

‘Anyway, my mom was the most generous person she was always helping people out from her salon- getting old ladies’ guttering cleared, or giving folks a ride places, she even helped kids with homework while they waited at the salon.’ he shook his head ‘She also would just...adopt people who needed help, other kids from my class who’s parents weren’t around, old ladies who needed company anyone who needed a friend really.’

David smiled, ‘There are worse qualities to have.’

Mark nodded. ‘Tim’s always been great at helping people, that’s why he’s a teacher too I think. But it’s rare people stick around.’

David leaned on Mark a little as they walked.

‘It’s rare people stick around for me too.’ he said ‘I mean aside from Stevie, who is now like an additional sister I didn’t ask for, who is even more obnoxious than the one I had.’ he grinned ‘There’s only Patrick.’

‘And this town.’ Mark smiled ‘David this town stuck around too.’

He nodded. It was true, he forgot all too often really.

They reached the patio again and David surveyed the garden, in the morning sunshine it was really beautiful, and quiet and calm. It felt right for them he looked over at Mark and smiled. Mark leaned over and looped an arm over David’s shoulders, leaning on him. He liked that, that Mark was slightly taller, and the slightly protective gesture he’d settled on out of habit.

‘It’s a really nice place.’ he said

‘It is right?’ Mark seemed to need reassurance.

David nodded and leaned into him, he could also sense something else in him- he’d developed now a sense for when Mark was feeling the weight of everything. He wore it all so well mostly, David knew he was used to being strong for the both of them. But he also knew that Mark knew he could be honest with David. But he sometimes needed a nudge.

‘Must be hard though.’ David said ‘moving here not knowing how long you’ll both be here for, or maybe that one day…’

‘I’ll be living here alone?’ Mark supplied and subconsciously tightened his grip on David’s shoulders. David looped an arm around his waist. ‘I mean I knew it when we bought it but I guess it’s hitting me today...building a home with him here but also...one day.’ he shook his head and David pulled him around into a hug. Mark burrowed into his shoulder for a moment and David held him. He felt the slight hitch when he started to cry.

‘I try not to think about it more than we have to.’ Mark said pulling back and wiping his eyes ‘But sometimes…’ he looked out at the garden and shook his head ‘How can I not think that I love this place so much but one day I’ll be here alone.’ he shrugged, ‘It’s not fucking fair is it?’

David shook his head and wrapped his arms around Mark again. There really was no answer, because no it wasn’t fair. All he could do was hold onto his friend when he needed it. They stayed a while longer, David wrapped around Mark as they looked out at the garden half covered in snow.

Patrick sat on the bed next to Tim and started re-folding the pile of t-shirts he was unpacking. It was a quiet companionable silence. Patrick glanced up to see David and Mark ambling around the garden, David talking animatedly as ever while Mark nodded along.

‘Nice view.’ he said handing Tim the pile.

He nodded and looked out at the garden, just in time to see Mark slip on some snow and laughed.

‘Hey let me test something.’ he said, putting the shirts into the drawer then clambering into the bed. He sat first of all upright at the top end, more squished onto the pile of blankets and pillows than in it. He nodded satisfied, then scooted down, so he was lying down, propped up a bit by some blankets. He smiled.

Patrick frowned and Tim jerked his head to say ‘join me’ so he swung his legs onto the bed and scooted up, onto the pillows next to him. He followed Tim’s gaze.

‘Oh.’ he said with a smile and looked over at Tim ‘The garden.’

You could see all of it, even lying down, they could watch Mark and David ambling around the garden or look up at the tree. The elevation of the house and garden was such that you didn’t lose any of the view lying down. Tim scooted up a bit making a more comfortable mound of pillows so he was half sitting and Patrick joined him.

‘It’s a good view.’ Patrick said, and then laughed as their husbands came back into view.

‘Even better.’ Tim laughed, then looked serious ‘yeah it is.’ he said.

Patrick glanced over at him watching the garden and smiled slightly sadly. He knew every decision they made was weighted. He could sense Tim thinking so he let him. After a while, he reached over and gently prodded his arm. Tim smiled and rolled over propping himself up on his elbow. He was wearing a bright lime green scarf on his head today, and his sweater was a shade of eclectic blue that somehow went perfectly with it. He also looked well-rested and healthy which made Patrick smile.

‘What you grinning at?’ Tim asked.

Patrick smiled ‘You look good.’ he said ‘Hey not in a hitting on you in a bar kinda way, I mean healthy. Happy.’

Tim smirked ‘Shame it’s been a long time since someone hit on me in a bar I’d like to think I’ve still got it.’ he mimed tossing his hair and Patrick laughed. Then he looked serious again. ‘I’m glad we moved here.’ he said quietly.

‘Well, it’s a nice place.’ Patrick said carefully.

Tim nodded again and Patrick reached for his arm, giving it a reassuring squeeze, letting him know it was ok to talk about whatever was on his mind. Tim flicked his eyes up and nodded.

‘I’m not going to die here as you well know- I mean barring my husband actually murdering me for being annoying or some kind of increasingly likely gardening accident.’ he laughed.

‘I may murder my husband with a backhoe if that helps.’

Tim grinned, and nodded ‘It’s never been the plan to die at home.’ he said, and Patrick nodded shifting into him a bit just trying to be comforting. Tim wanted to die in a hospice- the one nearby that he already visited, that was his plan A.

‘And let’s remember that’s not something happening soon.’ Patrick was practised now at the line between ‘unhelpful denial’ but also keeping his friend rooted in the moment.

‘I do not plan on going anywhere soon.’ Tim confirmed, ‘But knowing this is the last house I’ll ever live in...sort of hit me this morning. I’m so happy to have it, and it’s so beautiful but I know that one day I won’t be here…’ he trailed off.

Patrick thought about saying something, but instead, he just reached over and pulled Tim into him, pulling him into an awkward half balanced on the blankets, hug, Tim resting on his chest. He rubbed his hand up and down his back for long moments. After considering a while he spoke.

‘Mine and David’s house is so special to us, I can’t imagine living anywhere else now.’ he rubbed his hand up and down ‘But, last year there were many times I thought about David being alone there and that was the saddest I ever was.’ Tim made a hum of agreement into his shirt. Patrick took a steadying breath, ‘There were a few times too, I thought about what it might be like to leave that house knowing I would never come back...and that was the most scared I’ve ever been.’ Tim rolled off him slightly and Patrick nodded and gave a little shrug. He felt Tim take his hand and squeeze. ‘What I do know is that David and I made so many happy memories in that house...and one or two spectacular fights to remember.’ Patrick smiled ‘And if I had to leave, then at least there was that?’

Tim nodded and smiled at him. ‘Maybe I just do my damn best to make as many memories here as possible?’

‘Sounds like a plan.’ Patrick agreed.

Tim smiled and rolled into him again in a ferocious hug. He relaxed a bit and flopped onto Patrick and they both lay there for a second enjoying the peace. Which was quickly shattered by David’s arrival.

‘Um excuse me? Is it nap time already? And on top of the clothes?’ he threw a sweater on his husband’s head to demonstrate his distaste.

‘Yes.’ Patrick said sitting up a bit ‘Because we weren’t just having a nice stroll around the garden like some people.’

‘Oh that’s right we can spy from here.’ Tim said, sitting up and folding his arms.

‘Um excuse me.’ David said, folding his arms, ‘I was doing landscape planning with Mark.’

‘You were boring him with plant facts.’ Patrick said defiantly, Mark’s smirk said he wasn’t wrong.

Mark rounded the bed and perched on the end. Then flopped backwards, and Tim nudged him with a foot and he groaned.

‘I didn’t even do the moving and I’m exhausted.’ he complained.

‘Nap time then.’ Tim said.

‘How about snack time?’ David asked.

‘Yesss.’ Patrick whined, ‘Go fetch some of the cookies.’

David realised he was beaten almost immediately, his desire for food butting up against his desire not to be the one to get them. Food won almost immediately and he huffed and turned on his heel. Patrick smiled self-satisfied as Mark scooted up the bed to sit against the headboard and Tim leaned against him, Mark wrapped his arms around his waist and kissed his head.

‘Stay there.’ Patrick said, getting out his phone and snapping a couple of pictures. ‘You want to remember moving day.’

Tim grinned ‘Also Patrick said I looked cute today.’ he said.

‘I said good. As in healthy.’

‘I heard hot.’ Tim shrugged, earning him a poke from his husband.

‘Is my husband hitting on you?’ David asked, cookies in hand.

‘No.’

‘Yes.’

‘I know who I believe.’ David said. ‘Scoot.’ he shooed Patrick over and flopped on the bed.

‘Oh wait!’ Patrick grinned and got out his phone again, trying to get the four of them in. David took a lot of time arranging himself and Patrick rolled his eyes. They couldn’t all fit in so Patrick scooted closer to Tim and Mark, half under Mark’s arm, then David took his phone, scooting himself closer to Tim who leaned on him. Eventually, he snapped a near-perfect photo of the four of them piled up on the bed.

‘Take more photos is my cheesy and predictable New Year’s resolution.’ Patrick said, taking a cookie.

‘I still get full veto rights.’ David mumbled through a cookie.

They dragged themselves up eventually, and David overcame his protests to start what was set to be many many weeks of interior design lectures. Or more accurately demands to move things while he ‘considered’ them.

‘I have to apologise for my husband.’ Patrick said ‘I never knew where the couch or the pictures were going to be for six months when we first moved into our place.’

‘True beauty takes time.’ David pouted. ‘But you admit it's worth it.’

‘Our place is beautiful.’ Patrick conceded ‘David Rose cottage chic.’ he leaned up and kissed him.

‘I never saw myself as a small-town cottage kind of guy.’ Mark smiled as they surveyed the living room. ‘But I kinda like it.’

Tim grinned, ‘That’s because you were living your big city life!’

Mark raised an eyebrow ‘Excuse me who was living the wildest life of the two of us?’

‘Jealous.’ Tim grinned and threw a pillow at him.

They settled down again, passing cookies once again between them. David snuggled into Patrick’s shoulder and wrapped an arm across him. Next to Patrick Tim leaned on Mark, but hooked a leg over Patrick’s so they were what was now a usual tangle of arms and legs. Patrick rested his head on Tim’s shoulder too.

‘You know it really is a lovely place.’ Patrick offered ‘And the town too...it’s unique but it’s nice.’

‘It’s not a place anyone thinks they’ll end up that’s for sure!’ David said ‘But it’s a good place.’

Patrick cast a glance at his husband and tried to brush off the wave of anxiety that took over him.

‘Were you always a small-town guy?’ Tim interjected at Patrick.

‘No, uh well I grew up outside Toronto- in the less fancy suburbs than some people.’ he nudged his husband playfully ‘And obviously several years later.’ he brushed off the other anxiety with David’s indignant huff. ‘Guess I always saw myself back there, or somewhere like it.’

‘Oh, you’d have made a great soccer dad, with your little eco-friendly car running them to games and hosting dinner parties.’

‘Firstly hockey-dad if you please.’ Patrick grinned. ‘Maybe.’ he glanced at David ‘Plans change though.’ he looked over at his husband.

David kissed him. The conversation about kids had been had more than once by now and David was more than reassured that Patrick was ok with the choices he’d made. But it made him pause, looking down. David clearly sensed it because he looped an arm through his, pulling him in a bit.

‘I accidentally moved here.’ Patrick offered ‘But I sort of think this town saved me? I just think what might my life have been without...what a mess I might have made of things but…’

‘But it all worked out.’ David said, kissing his cheek. ‘Look we all know without this town I would have continued to make a mess of things. A very well dressed attractive mess, but a mess.’ he flopped dramatically on the sofa in the nest of cushions he’d made there. ‘A look of good came out of something spectacularly bad in my case.’

‘No arguments on that front.’ Patrick smirked, but sat next to him, putting a hand on his knee to show he was joking. He looked over at Mark and Tim and shrugged ‘I was making a mess of things in my own way too, so maybe I needed this place.’ David reached a hand up to his back ‘Not that you two are a mess you know.’

Tim smiled, and flopped down next to him, Mark following, thankful their giant couch from their old apartment fit in the new living room. He folded his legs under him and leaned on his husband in a well-practiced gesture. He glanced at Mark who nodded.

‘Oh we’re messy enough.’ he said with a shrug.

‘My career was a bit of a mess.’ Mark said, ‘I mean you know I kinda fell out of love with it, and it was time for a change but…’ he shrugged and trailed off, Tim picked up his hand. ‘My mental health took a dive, I was...not in the best place when I met this one.’ he wrapped himself around Tim a little bit tighter. ‘I needed to be somewhere else too I think.’

‘I get that.’ David said quietly, ‘Even if I didn’t- we maybe didn’t at the time.’

Mark nodded ‘Exactly.’ he shrugged, ‘I thought all I wanted was this big successful career- you know money and a fancy place and all that...I didn’t, as cliche as it sounds I’ve been far happier working 9-5 and looking after my husband instead.’ he kissed Tim’s cheek.

‘And things have been better…’ Patrick didn’t know how to ask, he knew how to with David, a well-practiced language. But not with Mark.

‘Mostly.’ he said, ‘I mean we’ve had tough times and sometimes I need a bit of a nudge or some help. My mom used to be good at spotting when things were unravelling for me.’ he smiled ‘Weirdly Sam has taken over that job.’

David smiled, Patrick and Tim’s nurse was a force of nature sometimes and one they were lucky to have.

‘Maybe having a Sam in your life is a good thing to come out of bad things too.’ Patrick offered.

‘Maybe some other things were as well.’ Tim winked and nudged Patrick playfully.

There was half a moment of sweet companionable silence before David leaped up, shoving Patrick to one side with such force he almost collided with Tim, and said;

‘Nope, nope can’t do it, can’t sit here looking at this in the totally wrong configuration.’

Patrick groaned, and buried his head in the sofa, Tim patting his hair.

‘I’m not moving this again David.’ he said, looking up at his husband he knew he very much was going to be moving it again. And possibly again. He groaned, dragged himself up. ‘Ok where to?’ he asked.

After leaving Mark and Tim to their first night in their new place, with promises to be back to help with the unpacking later in the week, Patrick was making a start on dinner while David answered some emails. He found himself musing on his conversation with Tim as he sliced vegetables, the idea of knowing this was where you’d live forever, who you’d be with. On one hand there were the desperately sad undertones he knew so well, but on the other, it reminded him of something he’d taken for granted until last year; David was forever.

In theory that was always true, they’d made vows, signed legal documents, and Patrick had known it- or at least wanted it- long before any of that. But it was something he both forgot and still couldn’t quite believe; that he had someone he loved so completely and who loved him, forever. Even nearly thirteen years in it didn’t always seem real. As much as he had total trust in their relationship too, the fact that it would withstand all these tests was...something.

He couldn’t quite shake the sadness around it either, the idea that Tim and Mark weren’t forever and they knew it. That their time was limited, and that they both lived with that. He couldn’t shake also that there was still- however optimistic his doctors were a slight chance that future was ahead of him too- ahead of them. He sliced the carrots, letting the methodical rhythm take over for a bit. He zoned out so much he didn’t notice David shuffling into the kitchen.

‘I said I think it’s sliced.’ David said sarcastically.

Patrick looked down, he had indeed sliced that carrot within an inch of its life, it would probably turn to mush now, but he threw it in the pot anyway. David came over and draped himself over Patrick’s shoulder’s for a minute before deciding there was nothing he could immediately eat and going to the fridge instead.

‘I’m literally cooking dinner.’ Patrick said.

‘I’m literally hungry now.’ David retorted. ‘Besides carrot mush I am not looking forward to.’

‘Well, you dazzle us with your culinary prowess then.’

‘I’ll order pizza if carrot mush is all we’re getting.’

Patrick huffed and turned back to the stove, poking at the pan. It wasn’t his best offering granted but they hadn’t done the grocery shopping yet this week and he was trying to use up the vegetables and whatever else was in the fridge. So his ‘carrot mush’ was in fact a vegetable curry he knew David loved. But he still pouted.

A few moments later something clinked on the counter next to him. He looked over and David had put a beer down there. He smiled at him and kissed him. Apology accepted.

After dinner- of which David predictably ate two helpings- they curled up on the sofa, the TV playing some glossy show about young women with impossibly glossy hair and fancy jobs...David liked it for the fashion, Patrick was willing to let the noise wash over him. David’s head was in his lap and he played with his hair absently while watching. He saw David briefly close his eyes in pleasure when his fingers grazed his scalp so he massaged his head a bit, smiling at his dopey look of pleasure, before returning to playing with his hair.

At 10.30 David nudged him awake. He’d fallen asleep again in front of the TV. As much as he was physically better, he was he reminded himself only a few months away from the end of his treatment, still only six months away from surgery that had knocked him back physically more than he cared to admit. He hated the after-effects still lingered though.

‘I’m such an old man.’ he grumbled as David pulled him up.

‘You’re my old man.’ David smiled before herding him upstairs.

David knew something was bothering Patrick all evening. Not just from his snapping over carrots, but he’d been absent, that way he got when he was in his head, clearly thinking. All of which was confirmed when he came back into the bedroom from the bathroom and Patrick wasn’t there. He knew where to find him, curled up in the giant chair in the dressing room. He leaned on the door for a second and smiled, he looked so small in that chair, not in the sad sick way he had previously, but in an adorable ‘my husband is cute’ way. He picked up a blanket from the stack they kept in there.

‘Scoot over then.’ he smiled.

Patrick obliged and they shuffled until he sat in David’s lap. He’d never done that until he got sick, and it had fast become one of his favourite ways to be with him. He’d never entertained the fact he needed to feel ‘safe’ sometimes and this did it. Especially when David wrapped his long arms around him and kissed his neck. He smiled in the semi-darkness.

‘You ok?’ David murmured. Knowing the answer.

‘Mmm.’ Patrick huffed in return.

‘Tim?’ David asked

‘Yeah.’ Patrick said softly ‘He moved into that place knowing one day he’ll ...not be there.’ Patrick shrugged and wound his arms around his husband’s waist ‘I know we all live with it, not least him but some days…’

‘I know.’ David said leaning down and kissing Patrick’s forehead ‘I know.’ he wound his arms around him properly and held on for a bit.

Patrick took his hand and looked sad again. It wasn’t just Tim but he couldn’t quite work out what it was.

‘What?’ he prompted.

‘I don’t want to move.’ Patrick declared. ‘And I know.’ he said, starting to play with David’s rings ‘I know I always promised you somewhere bigger, we’d build a place or live somewhere fancy and I know we can afford it, and I know your parents offered to help but, David I want to die here! Not here but, I want this to be our last home.’

David blinked and shook his head slightly. ‘Ok.’ he looked confused. ‘Um, firstly can we clear up the whole dying thing because…’

‘No, David of course not.’ he twisted so David could see him ‘I’m fine. Promise.’

David nodded satisfied, his irrational fear somehow Patrick would be secretly not fine was difficult to shake.

‘Then we won’t leave.’ David said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Patrick let himself flop back into David, relieved, and felt him wrap around him again.

‘I don’t think I ever told you what I told my parents before I showed you the house.’

Patrick shook his head even though he wasn’t facing him. ‘I told them I don’t think I’m done with this place.’

Patrick turned to him and smiled slowly, kissing him lightly.

‘I’m still not done with it ok? This place, this town. I’ve got you, and we’ve got Katie, and the Store and a Stevie...even a Roland.’ he smiled, ‘And now we’ve got Tim and Mark.’

‘We’ve got a family.’ Patrick said, ‘And a home.’

David nodded and kissed his head. The hair there was soft and downy and he knew Patrick hated how it looked still but he loved how it felt.

‘I want Mark to have a home with us.’ David said softly, ‘And Katie. Just if either of them ever needs to not be alone. This town took my family in when we needed it, I can’t imagine not doing the same.’

Patrick burrowed into him for a second.

‘I promised Tim.’ he said softly, ‘That Mark wouldn’t be alone, that he wouldn’t have to go home alone after he dies.’ David squeezed his husband gently, reassuring him ‘We won’t let him go home alone right?’

Patrick flicked his eyes up and David shook his head.

‘He’ll never have to be alone for a second I promise you.’

Patrick reached up and kissed him slow and soft. David wrapped himself back around him when they pulled apart.

‘What did you tell me when we came here?’ he asked into Patrick’s hair. He felt him hum remembering, and pulled back.

‘I said ‘I’m going to make you so happy here.’’

David nodded, ‘You have made me happier than I ever imagined.’ He said ‘And I had very high expectations.’

Patrick laughed, ‘Oh I know.’ he wrapped his arms around David’s waist, head on his chest. ‘We have been happy here haven’t we?’

David nodded ‘And we will be for many more years.’

Patrick leaned up and kissed him. ‘Us and the llama.’

David groaned, ‘It’s going to eat my plants.’ he whined ‘and poop! It’s going to poop everywhere…’ he was laughing though. Then he looked thoughtful. ‘I can’t believe I almost left.’ he said quietly, dipping his head again. ‘We wouldn’t have been the same in New York.’

Patrick shifted back and looked at him. He put a hand on his cheek. ‘We would have been us anywhere ok?’ David nodded into his hand ‘But I’m glad it’s here.’

‘Me too.’ David smiled. He nuzzled at Patrick’s neck in what started as a friendly gesture of comfort but quickly merged into something more. Luckily his husband responded with a soft groan of pleasure in response. David chuckled into his neck, breaking the mood slightly.

‘What?’ Patrick laughed.

‘I just thought ‘over a decade and I’m still learning new ways to make you make that noise.’’ David grinned behind Patrick’s head then ran his hand up the inside of his thigh in a way he knew made him make that noise.

‘Ugh I hate you sometimes.’ Patrick groaned again involuntarily as David found the same spot on his neck.

‘Really how have I never found this before.’ he did it again, at the same time as moving his hand further up.

‘David.’ Patrick said ‘Are you going to keep doing that, or are you going to do something about it?’

In answer David in a fluid movement that made Patrick at once gasp and laugh, picked him up and carried him into the bedroom.

‘David!’ he exclaimed and he raised an eyebrow ‘No...no you wouldn’t.’ Patrick laughed.

David very much would and threw him onto the bed, with just enough force to elicit a little bounce...and then quickly followed him trapping his husband under him.

Tim wandered into the bedroom yawning as Mark turned out lights behind him in the quiet of their new house. He shuffled into the bedroom and turned on the light. He laughed out loud.

‘What?’ Mark said coming in.

‘These idiots.’ Tim said, gesturing to the bed.

Their bed, which they had made earlier, had been decorated. There were candles on the bedside tables and window ledge. On the bed rose petals. But in the middle, another gift basket, which looked like it contained an array of Rose Apothecary products and two pairs of very expensive looking pyjamas. Next to the basket was Tim’s trusty old penguin stuffed animal, Peter, which was ‘holding’ a card under his wing.

Tim sat down and picked up the card, Mark sat next to him picking up Peter. Tim moved the top layer of pyjamas and lotion and of course, he realised with a grin massage oil. He held it up to Mark and winked. Under that was a pair of fancy notebooks, and with them two books- one on theatre history which he assumed was for Mark, and one fiction a romance Tim remembered discussing with David too. He smiled. At the bottom was something wrapped in black and white tissue paper. Tim reached in and unwrapped it and grinned before tears pricked at his eyes. He turned it around to Mark- it was a picture of the four of them at David’s parents, all sitting together in the garden looking tanned and relaxed. They were settled on the patio furniture, Tim under his husband’s arm, Mark under David’s arm while Patrick was settled into David’s side. They were all grinning.

‘Family photo.’ Tim said with a smile. Mark nodded. They hadn’t really talked about it but they knew that David and Patrick were for life now- however relatively long that was- and it felt special.

He opened the simple black and white flower-covered card and read out loud to his husband.

‘Dear Mark and Tim, take some time with each other now you’re home you deserve it. While what you do with candles and rose petals is between you and your new bedroom (Patrick says I have to apologise for that), may you also be cosy in your new bed, read books together, journal together...whatever you need. And also remember the happy times, even if things get tough.

We love you
David and Patrick’

Mark looked at his husband with tears in his eyes, it had been an emotional day all told and this it seemed was the thing to finally break him. Hot tears streamed down his face.

‘Come here you old fool.’ Tim said, pulling him in.

Mark wrapped his arms around his husband and let himself cry on him for a moment, feeling his familiar warmth, the way he played with his hair while he hugged him.

‘I know alright?’ Tim said quietly, ‘I know we can’t pretend ok?’

Mark sat up and sniffed and Tim reached over and took his hand.

‘It’s hard.’ he said ‘Knowing you’ll be here alone one day ok? Don’t think I don’t think about it ok because I do?’ Tim’s voice caught and Mark leaned over and kissed him ‘I even made Patrick promise to not let you come home alone the first time ok? So don’t you think I don’t think about it ok?’

Mark nodded and reached over and wiped the tears that were also on Tim’s face.

‘But.’ he added ‘I also think about how I’ve got a house to live in with my beautiful husband, for as long as I’m here. And that we now have a wonderful pair of idiots we call family to enjoy it with too ok?’

Mark nodded again. ‘Sorry for getting upset.’ he said resting his head on Tim’s shoulder. Tim kissed his hair.

‘You should be upset, I’m going to be very hard to replace.’

Mark laughed and sat up kissing him. ‘You are one of a kind, Timothy.’ he kissed him again ‘And I love you very much.’

‘I love you too.’ Tim smiled, he leaned in and kissed him again, deeper this time. ‘Why don’t we test out the new bed.’

‘You do know it’s our old bed that has been well and truly tested.’

‘Shhh,’ Tim said, kissing him again ‘Don’t spoil it.’

Mark laughed and kissed him, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him down onto the bed. Tim shifted himself on top of him and started kissing under his jaw and down his neck.

‘Besides, we’ve got new massage oil to try out...and we’ll have to report on its quality.’

‘You really will report every detail to Patrick won’t you?’ Mark said between kisses reaching up to unite Tim’s scarf, running his hands gently over his head while he kissed him.

‘Every last detail…’ Tim said kissing under Mark’s shirt and eliciting a soft groan- of exasperation, not pleasure. Tim responded by kissing him in a way he couldn’t object to. After a few moments, Mark pushed him back gently.

‘You clear the bed, I’ll light the candles.’ he smiled, Tim nodded and rolled off him. ‘Don’t forget the massage oil.’ Mark winked as he got up.

A few minutes later the room was lit with soft candlelight, along with the moonlight coming in through the window. Mark stood in the window and looked down at the bed, his husband was curled up against the pillows smiling at him. He looked every bit as handsome as when they’d met- changed yes, but still handsome. He smiled, this was as perfect a moment as it got, their new home, his husband waiting for him in bed. Today had been emotional, but he was back to focusing on what they had, not what they might not.

‘Don’t just stand there grinning, come to bed.’ Tim quipped.

‘Gladly.’ Mark answered and crossed back to the bed.

A while later they were curled up in their new pyjamas, Tim had gone to get them a snack (his eating habits never quite calibrated to the normal outside of chemo-rounds). When he got back Mark was writing in his new journal, by candlelight. It was ridiculous, but also when his husband looked up, his floppy hair tousled by their recent endeavours, he was the most beautiful thing Tim had seen. He set down his cookies on the bedside table and kissed his husband deeply.

‘What’s that for?’

‘Being so damn beautiful.’ he answered, clambering over him into bed. He settled under Mark’s arm and sighed. ‘I’m really fucking happy.’ he said.

Mark kissed his head ‘Good.’

Tim reached over for his phone and snapped a picture of them, Mark made a face and he took it again. He had to admit it was cute, Mark in deep blue pyjamas, him in grey, the soft candlelight and the pile of blankets and pillows. It was cosy. He sent it to David and Patrick. His phone pinged almost immediately.

Mark has sex hair-D

You look adorable- P

Please excuse my husband- P

You look cute- D

But also Tim has sex-hair ;)- P

Tim laughed out loud at that, it was rare he took his scarf off in public, but he’s got more comfortable doing it around David and Patrick. Even taking it off in front of David’s parents. But it was truly a sure tell what they’d been up to. He was about to retort when his phone pinged. A picture this time, David and Patrick curled up in a similar position.

David has sex hair - M

Tim laughed, David’s hair was indeed a mess and a tell-tale sign at what they’d been up to as well.

But you’re pretty darn cute. Both of you. -T

Mark kissed him and smiled.

‘Our family is pretty darn cute.’ he said.