Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Bump, rattle, shake. Bump, rattle, shake. Bump, rattle, shake.

Wagons were literally the worst way to travel.

Every member of Vox Machina agreed they would rather be walking than being throttled around in this death cage for hours on end. Some shitty thank-you gift this was. An elven lord's daughter had been kidnapped for ransom money, so naturally they did their hero thing and rescued the girl and returned her safely home. As thank you, the lord had provided them with a horse and wagon to take them across the miles to the next city. Honestly, they would have just just preferred gold. Or silver. Or nothing, for that matter.

Bump, rattle, shake. Bump, rattle- another rattle? That was new. Oh, there was the shake, everything was back to normal.

Not only was the party sustaining a serious case of vertigo, they all had an earworm so large it was more of an ear snake. The same progression of chords had been ringing out over and over again, with the occasional slight variation and mumbles of, "No, no, that sounds like shit," or "Aha! I'm a genius." All in all made for one hell of a show, with emphasis on the word 'hell.'

"Scanlan, will you please put the lute down for five minutes," begged Vex between gritted teeth.

"Hang on," Scanlan said distantly as he plucked the same damn tune for the 800th time. "I'm on the precipice of greatness."

"You've been on this so-called precipice for an hour."

"I'm writing a song about how we rescued the lord's daughter!" said Scanlan. Ringing out the opening chord, he began to sing. "Vox Machina, the heroes brave... an elven princess they did save... Wait, dammit, forgot I switched that chord to E major..."

"I think we could all stand for a bit of peace and quiet," cut in Percy, setting aside the arrow he had been tinkering with. "I have a migraine, and I can't exactly tell the wagon to stop being a wagon."

Scanlan scowled. "But you can tell me to stop being a bard?"

"Only while we're sleeping."

"If Grog was awake he would tell me to keep playing!"

To Scanlan's left, Grog was passed out and snoring heavily. Pike was at his side, her head resting against his elbow.

"He really would not," remarked Vex.

"Oh, come on!" Scanlan looked around the room for validation. "Man-wife?"

Arms crossed and eyes closed, Vax sat cuddled deep against his sister. The only response he gave was, "Mmmmmm..." Vex patted his hair.

"I think your music is quite good, Scanlan!" said Tiberius from the front of the wagon. "It's very catchy."

Scanlan brightened. "Ha! See? Thank you, Tiberius!" He deliberately chose to ignore the look Vex was giving him, the look that said Tiberius's approval hardly counted for anything. Instead, he turned to Keyleth, or rather Keyleth's ass, as she stood on her knees with her head hanging out the window. "Keyleth! How's the song?"

No answer from Keyleth besides the kissy noises she made at Trinket, who lumbered along behind the wagon.

"We'll count that as a no from Keyleth, and Trinket says no, too," said Vex. "Majority wins."

"Oh, it's all well and good when I use my music to inspire you!" Scanlan said, throwing up his hands. "But when I want to entertain you with the power of song? 'Noooooooo, Scanlan, we hate you and you suck!'"

"Perhaps we're all just getting a bit testy from being cooped up for so long," said Tiberius. "It's not normal for us to be without an adventure, is it?"

Just to be difficult, Scanlan strummed the lute, crooning, "I want adventure in the great wide somewhere..."

"If you don't put the lute down I'm throwing it out the window," Vex said dangerously.

"You're just a hater of fine music. I'd hate to live in your world. So depressing and boring. You can keep all the negativity to yourself but you don't have to spread it to the rest of us."

When Scanlan wasn't looking, Percy lifted the lute out of his arms and handed it to Vex, who nodded in thanks and tucked it behind her back.

"Oh that's just great!" cried Scanlan. "I've been hate-crimed! And my lute's gonna be warm from Vex's ass! You know what, fuck you both! You're gnomeist! Bardist! The hate I'm receiving just for being me!"

Percy and Vex shot each other a curious look before Vex shook her head. "Give it a break, Sir Bitch-a-lot. You can write more songs later."

Grog, who had apparently woken up, let out a deep chuckle and said in a voice as quiet as he had ever used so as not to disturb Pike, said, "Sir Bitch-a-lot. That's a good one, that is."

Scanlan pouted. "Whose side are you on?"

"Perhaps this is the time to take a break and stretch our legs," piped Tiberius. "I think we would all do well to move around a bit."

"Everybody... rock your body..." Scanlan sang under his breath, to which he received a sharp look of warning from Vex. Though he narrowed his eyes and shot beams of hatred from them, Scanlan shut up. Because it was no secret Vex could and would beat his ass without hesitation, and a gnomish bard like himself wouldn't stand a chance against a half-elf ranger like her. The cruel world he lived in.

As the wagon came to a stop their sleeping party members began to stir. "I had the strangest dream," remarked Pike as she rubbed her eye, still without taking her weight off of Grog's side. "I was watching a jester perform a song, but the whole world was shaking. And I think there was a war going on. But the jester still didn't stop playing..."

"That wasn't a dream, said Vex. "That was this whole ride so far." She took Scanlan's lute with her as she climbed out of the wagon, accompanied by Vax.

Scanlan flipped Vex off even though her back was turned. Immediately switching gears, he offered Pike his hand to help her out of her seat. "I'm writing a song about latest adventure," he said in his smoothest voice. "Shall I dedicate a verse to you?"

Pike smiled politely, then hopped out of the seat on her own. "You don't have to do that. Thank you, though." Slipping past Scanlan, she made her way outside. The wagon was now empty with the exception of Scanlan, Grog, and Grog's laughter.

"It's not funny," huffed Scanlan.

"It is a little bit funny," Grog replied, giving Scanlan a clap on the back. From a Goliath to a gnome, it was enough force to send Scanlan faceplanting if he hadn't been ready for it. But being best friends with Grog for so many years meant Scanlan was always ready for it. "Cheer up, buddy. Maybe someday she'll like you."

"She does like me, she's just denying her feelings for the good of the party," Scanlan insisted. His fucking party. He hated his party; could he trade them in for a new one? Or perhaps he could sell them. He wouldn't even ask for gold pieces since they clearly weren't worth that. A nice new lute or a flask of ale would be plenty. He even just a burlap sack with some rocks in it.

The world's shittiest team in question sat in a grassy clearing of grass on the side of the path, warm and glowing from the sunlight. Keyleth sat with her back against Trinket's side, contentedly growing flowers around her boots. Along with his lute, Vex held Percy's arrow for him as he knelt on one knee, allowing Pike to put her fingertips to his forehead and heal his headache. Grog, wide-awake and battle-hungry, volunteered as lookout and stood beside the wagon with his arms crossed, keeping watch for invading enemies. And Tiberius stood off to the side, conducting in some weird calisthenics. What a bunch of assholes. Who needed any of them. He could be making real money as a performer, yet he chose to run around with these fuckers, getting into shit and almost dying once a week. All that to be the party's bard, the most useless member in their eyes.

He kept them to his back and set down the path. He needed a minute alone.

He cursed out each member individually as he kicked pebbles while he walked. Vex and Percy and Grog and- well, not Pike. Never Pike. But the rest of them, they could go to hell. Maybe he would just leave and not come back, let them think he died a gruesome death. That would show them.

His fantasies of the emotional funeral his party would throw for him were broken through by the sound of beautiful melody coursing through the woods. Whoever was playing the pipe was some kind of prodigy for sure. Scanlan was jealous. He wished Vex hadn't taken his lute, he would have loved to accompany this unknown musician. He kicked another pebble in her honor.

He was mad for a moment, but that was fleeting. How could he be mad when this haunting tune was giving him chills everywhere? His neck and spine were electrified with goosebumps, and it didn't feel like enough. He chased the music, the feeling it was giving him. He had never felt more alive and more like a zombie all at once, breaking from the path and guided by nothing but his ear. The music surrounded him, flooded every sense, and it was all that mattered. He gave himself over to its power, letting it lead him wherever it willed.

Scanlan didn't know how long he had been running, when he had even started running, or how far off the path he had gone. It could have been a lifetime or a matter of minutes, but suddenly he was at the base of a thick tree with dark wood and spiraling limbs and all had gone completely quiet. But he wasn't alone. There was another presence around him; he could feel it. And then from above him, there was a a voice:

"Well, hello there!"

Oop, some fucker was in the tree. A human in tall boots with a maroon cape around his neck and a broad smile under his hook nose. In the hand that wasn't holding his balance to the branch was an exquisitely carved wooden pipe. He grinned at Scanlan like a child, swinging his legs over the gnome's head. "What brings you to the middle of the woods?"

Scanlan could ask the same of this weirdo. He didn't know what had possessed him to run out here and find the source of the music, but now that he had, his sixteen points of intelligence told him he shouldn't stick around any longer and return to his party, as annoying as they were.

The melody picked up right where it had left off. Gods, where did this guy learn to play? He must be professionally taught.

"You okay there?" The man cocked his head at Scanlan, apparently confused. "Looked like you weren't inside your body for a second."

Scanlan blinked, aroused from his thoughts. Okay, sixteen points of intelligence, yes, but in his defense he only had seven points of wisdom and the song was really good. "Yes, I'm fine, I just- well, I can't get over that beautiful song you're playing. The composition is just flawless- I'm obsessed with that chord progression!"

"Why, thank you! I can see you are clearly a skilled musician yourself. Do you have an instrument with you?"

His lute! Fucking Vex! "No, actually. One of my so-called friends confiscated it because it was annoying her."

"A true artist is always unappreciated in his time," the man said with a sigh. "The way she just took your lute like your music was a thing that could simply be controlled, though. That's repulsive."

"Yeah, no shit, buddy."

"It is always the musicians who are considered disposable. Sure, we may not swing an axe or throw arrows around, but music is a power of its own. One that is far more powerful than people give credit. For example, I used to serve as a musician for my lord in a village a few miles from here. But I played one song he didn't like, and I was quickly replaced by another. Thrown away like yesterday's trash." He looked down at his pipe, his eyes stormy with memories still raw. "I still haven't found another job. Nobody cares about good music anymore." He looked up again, his smile returning as his eyes met Scanlan's. "I think I could help you with your little predicament."

Scanlan chuckled. "I don't think even you could get those assholes to appreciate fine music."

"Maybe not, but I could get them to appreciate you."

Scanlan blinked. "How so?"

"Take me to your party. I'll play a song, you grab your lute from your friend and join in, and they will all see what a talent you are. Music can change people if played right."

This sounded a little sketchy. What the fuck was Scanlan doing out here? There was something off about this person...

But there was that sound again. The bard had started rehearsing the melody. Scanlan couldn't remember why he was skeptical. Oh well, time to lead his new friend to where his party was resting. "I think I left them over there."

As Scanlan and the musician set off from where Scanlan was pretty sure he had come from, he realized he hadn't strayed too far from the camp when he saw his teammates in the distance, still resting in the grass. They had hardly noticed Scanlan had left. Some friends they were. What if he had died? Nice to know he would have been deeply grieved over- not.

The musician hid from the party, his back to a tree, while Scanlan fell back into the midsts of the party. His lute was beside Vex's thigh as she sat in the grass, chatting with Percy. He proudly presented his fully-modified arrow to her, and she took it with beaming gratitude.

Those two were obviously getting it on when nobody was around. Disgusting.

A stealth check sent him creeping through the grass towards Vex and his beloved lute.

Suddenly a warm, pink breeze tickled his spine. There, the music was back. A different tune this time, a slower, creeping tune, every note dripping like golden drops of honey. Why was he starting already? His teammates all turned to look at him, but before he could say a word, he felt his body start to droop, and soon he was face down in the grass. Soft grass, green grass. Scanlan didn't realize how much he liked grass. He should lie in grass more often. All around him, the rest of the party seemed to be following his example. Yawning, curling into balls, dropping down to the ground like towers under siege. Nice to see he was leading for once.

He absorbed the music, letting his mind empty of all its thoughts and worries until a singular question echoed through the emptied cavern of his head: how did the musician know he specifically played the lute? He hadn't told him what instrument he played.

But that thought passed as easily as it came, and he drifted into a sleepy black nothing.

That was the worst sleep of Scanlan's life. He woke up feeling like he had been beaten with a club and thrown off a cliff. And he hadn't even spent the night in a brothel! What a ripoff. As his eyes regained focus, he pieced together the memories from before this shitty nap. Right, he had made a weird friend in the woods who was going to play music with him and get his teammates to appreciate him more. Clearly that had not worked out so well.

A scream ripped through the woods, causing Scanlan's already aching head to throb. The screamer started crying for Vax and was asking a million questions Scanlan couldn't process. He was too distracted by that voice. It was weirdly familiar but entirely new at the same time. Who the hell was that? He reeled and admittedly pissed himself a little when he met the screamer's face.

It was himself.

"Vax! Brother, where are you?" This other Scanlan cried, pacing around as he looked his arms and legs over like they were trying to attack him.

Trinket sneezed himself awake, and when he lifted a paw to rub his nose, he turned to ice. The piss that hadn't already left Scanlan did so when he heard Trinket speak.

"Oh- oh, shit. Oh, shit. Vex'ahlia-?"

Every member of the party looked disoriented and panicked, staring at their bodies like they weren't their own.

"What is happening?" asked Scanlan- wait, no, Scanlan was Scanlan, this was some kind of illusion. The illusionary Scanlan looked around at his disoriented party members, demanding, "Where's Scanlan? What did he do?"

Scanlan didn't know what the fuck was going on. But it couldn't have possibly been his fault-

He looked down. He was wearing silver armor, scuffed and dented around the ankles and calves. A sky blue scarf draped over his chest and- Christ, he had boobs.

Dear Lord, he was inside of Pike's body.

"The wagon's gone!" someone yelled, sounded like Grog but at this point Scanlan didn't know who was who anymore. His stomach dropped. He had been tricked. Of course he had been tricked. And now he was trapped inside of the body of the love of his life and stranded in the middle of the woods.

And the worst part was, he couldn't remember how the song he was writing went.

Chapter Text

"Who did this? Scanlan, was this you?" demanded Vex, stomping in a circle and yelling in every direction. "Is this some kind of prank? Did- oh, for fuck's sake where are you?"

Scanlan should be upset, but this was kind of funny. Okay, it was hilarious. "Ha! Fuck you, Vex, you actually suck so much! What's it like to feel two feet tall- literally?"

She met his eyes, and quickly she marched over and slapped him hard across the face. Even though they were the same height now, it still hurt like hell, and Scanlan spat out a drop of blood; he had bitten his fucking tongue.

Besides the stars he was now seeing, he noticed that someone flinched sharply at Scanlan getting slapped: Tiberius. Could that be-?

"Pike?" Scanlan addressed the Dragonborn. "Did that mean old half-elf hit your flawless face?"

"Yeah." The word sounded weird coming out of Tiberius's mouth. "I bet that hurt a lot. I feel bad for me." There was a pause that went on for far too long. "Oh, and for you too, Scanlan."

"Wait, wait, okay hold on," said Trinket- annoying bear had to take the spotlight as the weirdest part of this whole mess. "Everyone say your name- your real name, the name of the person you are on the inside. I'm Vax."

"Pike," said Tiberius, still frowning over watching herself be slapped from the third person perspective.

"Sorry about that, Pike," said Vex from Scanlan's body. "I meant it for Scanlan. I'm Vex'ahlia, by the way."

"Hmm... fascinating." The person in Vex's body was twisting at nearly impossible angles, trying to examine every inch of their new form.

"Tiberius, you'd better watch those eyes or I'm gonna stab them out!" said Vex. "Oh, wait, I can't do that, they're my eyes. Balls!"

Tiberius quickly straightened, clearing his throat with embarrassment. "Er, yes, my apologies, Lady Vex'ahlia. I am just truly marveled at how we managed to switch into each other's bodies! This is an extremely rare and powerful enchantment. I have many questions for the spellcaster."

"That's not really what's important right now," said Keyleth, her voice suddenly nasally and arrogant enough that anyone could recognize Percy inhabiting her body. But he still felt the need to share, "Percy here, by the way."

Vex suddenly frowned with concern. "Where's Keyleth?" At the sound of her name, Vax stiffened as well, instinctively lifting his new bear nose to sniff for her.

"Hey, everyone." Percy's body gave a little wave, sheepishly toeing the grass with her boot. "So, um, I guess I'm Percy now? I guess that's how that works? I dunno. I'm- I'm not good with guns, so...." Instead of finishing her sentence, she let it fade into the air and turned to pet Vax's head.

"Um, Keyleth," said Vax. "You do realize I'm not actually Trinket, right?"

"I know. Sorry," she said, yanking her hand away like she had touched a hot coal. "I just... I can't remember what's real anymore."

Quietly, Vax lowered his head to her, and with a grateful smile Keyleth scratched behind his ear.

Vex looked around. "Okay, who are we missing?"

"Grog, stop scratching your ass on that tree," Vax said. "That's disgusting."

Grog ignored Vax and continued to have the time of his life.

"How did Grog get off so lucky and stay the same?" Vex lamented. But Scanlan squinted hard at his best friend; something was off. Grog let out a sound which, initially, sounded like a moan of delight at the wonderful ass-scratching, but when he listened closer it sounded more like-

"Trinket! I found him!" Scanlan cheered. "Oh, gods, Grog, I can't wait to laugh at you about that later. Oh wait! I can do that now! Where is the little fucker anyway?"

Suddenly, all pairs of eyes went to the one body that hadn't risen from the grass: Vax. His form was still fast asleep and snoring like a troll.

"Ugh. I don't make that noise usually," Vax said sadly as he watched.

Scanlan approached his sleeping friend. Jiggling his face with his hand, he said softly, "Grog. Wake up, Groggy. It's morning."

Grog blinked one eye at a time, like an animal half-dead but desperately trying to cling onto life. Sleepily he mumbled, "Pike? Oh. Mornin'. Where are we?" He hauled himself to a sitting position, seemingly unaware of anything unusual. Silently the party waited for his realization. Nothing came.

"Grog," Scanlan said at last. "You miiiiight want to... look down at yourself."

And he did. And there it came. The realization.

"Oh no!" he cried in a tone lower than the one Vax normally used. "This- this is horrible! This is the worst day of my life! I'm a stick!"

More yelling. Some running around, as if he could escape the body he was living in. At last he tripped on a root and fell face down in the grass. In the silence Scanlan clicked his tongue. "How you doin', Grog."

"Bad!"

Vax rolled his eyes. There was something unsettling about watching a bear roll his eyes, but Scanlan had a feeling he was going to be getting used to it. "Well, if we're all present and accounted for, our next course of action is figuring out why the fuck this happened."

"This type of magic has been long out of study," said Tiberius, picking up locks of hair in his fingertips and observing it, like he couldn't understand what it was doing being attached to his head. "This is no concentration spell; the effects will last until the enchantment has been broken. And that can only be done with the tool the enchantment was performed with."

The pipe. That fucking pipe. Of course it was enchanted. No shit he had been duped. Dammit!

"Scanlan, is there something you know?" Vax was looking at him expectantly.

"What? No, I don't know anything. Why?"

"You just said 'dammit.'"

"I said that out loud?"

"Yes. You did."

"Oh. Dammit. Well, I don't know anything, but good luck figuring this out. And along the way, I hope you realize just how difficult it is being in my shoes everyday-"

"I'm making an insight check," cut in Pike.

A check was barely even necessary; Scanlan was so obviously lying. He wasn't even trying that hard to hide it. But if Pike's stats were now Tiberius's, her twenty points of wisdom were now his twenty points of wisdom, and she was left with Tiberius's measly four.

"My dearest Pike, you know you can check me anytime," Scanlan purred. "I mean, maybe when you look less like a dragon, but you know."

Pike ignored his flirting and made a check. Judging by the look of panic that crossed her face, she had come up at a loss. "I... I can't tell. Is he lying...?"

It was sad. A little pathetic, even. Suddenly Scanlan's fun ran dry, and a weird feeling settled in his chest. It was vaguely familiar, like he had felt it once but not for a very long time. Ah, shit, was that guilt? It sucked. 0/5 gold pieces, would not recommend. And it only got worse the more confused and afraid Pike looked over not knowing what to do. He sighed. "Yes. I'm lying. This musician in the woods tricked me and played this little song, and that's what switched all our bodies. The magic's in his pipe; we need that to fix this."

"Well, that's just great," said Vex. "Really. That's really great. How the hell are we supposed to find an enchanted pipe when we're stuck in the middle of the woods?"

"I could turn into an eagle and look for him above the trees," Keyleth piped up. "Except... I probably can't do that right now."

She attempted to remove Bad News from its strap across her back, like that would do something useful, but when she struggled with the shotgun Percy quickly ran over and pulled her hands down, saying, "Nope,- nope-nope-nope-nope-nope. If you blow yourself up I won't have a body to go back to. And no offense, but I really don't want to live the rest of my days in yours."

"Well, then you're gonna have to shapeshift," Keyleth said.

Percy froze. Then a hand went to his face, probably to mess with his goggles, but he quickly dropped his hand when he realized he did not have them. Keyleth did. "I don't know how to do that."

"It's just a concentration spell," said Keyleth. "But, like, you gotta really believe you're an eagle. It won't work if you don't think it will."

Percy snorted. "Look, Keyleth, magic isn't my thing. It's yours. Let me just take my gun and I'll shoot shit up."

"But, in Keyleth's defense," Vax cut in, "we need to find the shit before we can shoot it up. And a bird's eye view might be our best chance. So could you at least try to cast the spell?"

"This is going to look stupid," Percy argued.

"And you don't think we do? I'm a bear, for fuck's sake! Just get a hold of your damn ego and become a bird already!"

Percy sniffed uprightly. "Alright. But if it doesn't work I'm taking my gun and we're making a new plan."

Awkwardly he wielded Keyleth's staff. Keyleth gave him pointers on grip and stance until she deemed him perfect. Everyone waited with bated breath.

"What are you doing?"

"What does it look like? I'm trying to cast the spell."

"Why are your eyes closed?"

"Because I'm focusing!"

"Don't forget to believe in yourself!"

"Tiberius, would you stay out of it?"

"C'mon, Percy, it's already been, like, five minutes," said Vex, but she didn't sound annoyed. She was smirking. "Are you really gonna tell me Percival Frederickstein von whatever your full name is finally got stumped? And it was over a little bird?"

Great gods above, Vex flirting out of his mouth. With Percy. He was going to blow chunks. He had learned his lesson now: be happy with your lot in life, even if the people in it suck. He didn't need to be punished any further. Scanlan would give anything to go back to his lot in life ten seconds before this bullshit happened.

But it seemed to do the trick, and Percy returned to the concentration spell with double the effort. Suddenly Keyleth gasped, and just after the noise left her mouth everyone noticed silver sparks circling Percy's calves. They spread over his entire frame until he was lost in a blinding white light. When it exploded and disappeared, the party found that Percy had disappeared along with it. In his place was a brown eagle.

Everyone erupted into cheers, even Scanlan. Percy looked quite proud of himself- or it was to be assumed that he was, by the way he sat up with his feathery chest puffed out.

"Good job, Percy!" cheered Keyleth, clapping her hands together. "Now, to fly, you just have to relax and let your wings carry you-"

Violent flapping sent feathers tumbling through the air, but Percy didn't get two inches off the ground

Vax snorted. Vex shot him a look.

"C'mon, Perce, I'll give you a boost," Vex said, her hands hovering over the thrashing bird. "Stop- stop fussing, let me help you."

When he realized what she was doing, Percy went still. Vex lifted him up and held him out. "Start flying on three. One? Two? Three!"

It all happened so fast, but suddenly Percy was tossed into the air. He struggled with his wings, but before he could smack the ground he was gliding over it. Higher, higher- before they knew it he was soaring past the treetops.

As they all watched Percy disappear in silence, Grog asked at last, "Now what."

"Where's Trinket?" Vex cried as she scanned the forest in a frenzy.

Vax rolled his eyes- Scanlan decided he was already used to it- and said, "Yes, that is 'what'. Everyone? Split up and find Grog- Trinket- whatever."

Everyone set out to find the bear. Scanlan muttered curses to himself as he ran across the dirt, nearly tripping over the cyan sash at his feet every few strides. He could hear Vex calling, "Trinket! Here, Trink! I've got a special snack for you!" and almost gagged at the way it sounded in his voice. Trinket couldn't have just hung around scratching his ass for five more minutes? Even when Scanlan screwed up in proportions this epic, his teammates insisted on making it about themselves.

Then- "There he is!"

Tiberius. Wait, no, that wasn't Tiberius, that was Pike in Tiberius's body. Gods, this was hard to keep track of. But there was Pike, standing with one foot elevated on a stone, pointing at what appeared to be Grog frolicking in a flower patch in the distance.

Behind them, Scanlan heard Vex break out into a cry of Trinket's name, only to be cut off. He turned around, and Vax was nudging her with his big, furry head and telling her something in a low voice. Probably to remain calm, or Trinket would get startled and run off again.

"Oh, look! There he is!" said the real Tiberius a good few seconds after the rest of the party spotted him. "Lady Pike, now would be a good time to cast Hold Person and keep Trinket from getting any farther."

"Uhh?" Pike looked down at her newly acquired sorcerer's staff. Even in the body of a Dragonborn, the corners of her eyes still crinkled, the way Pike's always did when she was stressed, as infrequent as that was.

"Pike, I know it's scary, but you really have to try," Scanlan said gently. "If that bear runs off again, our best friend may be stuck shitting himself in the woods for the rest of his life. And that would be really hilarious. But we would miss him, wouldn't we?"

"Of course!" said Pike, twisting the staff over in her hands. "I'm not saying I can't do it, I just-"

"I know, but we don't really have a lot of time to think about it," Scanlan said over her. "Just tell yourself, 'I can do this. Get Hold Person'd, bitch.'"

Pike let out a little chuckle. "I'm not saying that." She laughed, but her eyes were still creased at the corners. If Scanlan still had his bard's abilities, he would sing her the greatest song of inspiration ever written.

A crunch in the distance made them both turn their heads. It seemed Trinket, who was walking on Grog's hands and feet, appeared to have stepped on some thorns and was groaning in pain, shaking his hand out violently. He turned in circles, lashing his head; any second those bunching muscles were going to spring, and he would take off.

"Just do it, Pike," Scanlan pleaded. "You can do anything you put your mind to, because you're Pike motherfucking Trickfoot, the greatest cleric who ever lived. And now you're the greatest warlock who ever lived. Because you're just the best at whatever you do." Before he could stop himself, he reached forward and took hold of Pike's scaly claws. "Please cast the spell- we need you."

Pike didn't answer with words. Instead she quickly brandished her staff towards Trinket, assuming a pose similar to the one Percy had taken to become an eagle. She squinted hard, and with a kickback that made her flinch, the tip of Tiberius's staff lit up electric blue. A single beam of light coursed across the forest and straight for Trinket, just as he broke into a run. But in a miraculous saving throw, the spell caught the toe of the boot Grog was wearing. Trinket was suddenly frozen, one leg and arm suspended in midair.

Pike turned back to Scanlan, a smile spread over her face. "I did it!"

Even though he was staring into Tiberius's face, Scanlan could still see Pike's smile behind the red, scaly mask. And he smiled back.

Vex'ahlia cut between them, running as fast as her gnomish legs could carry her- gods above, is that how he looked when he ran?- and fell to her knees in front of Trinket. She went to hug his neck, but something made her pull back. "What- what is that?"

Everyone tilted their necks to see what Vex was looking at. On Trinket's hand- Grog's hand, the hand that had been cut by a thorn- purple veins struck against his grey skin. Like violet spider legs, they grew from he center of his palm, reaching his fingertips and spreading down his forearm.

And Trinket's eyes rolled to the back of Grog's head.

Chapter Text

Scanlan removed The Bag of Holding from Trinket's neck and pulled a rope from it. When it was firmly tied around Trinket's waist, Pike released Hold Person, and Trinket collapsed to the grass, rolling and snarling into the dirt. Suddenly Keyleth gasped, and she cried, "Get him out of those flowers! Now!"

Scanlan gave the rope a hard yank. Trinket fought against Scanlan's pull, and his bear instinct paired with Grog's Goliath strength threw Scanlan forward. But before he could fall, Scanlan anchored his boots into the dirt and tugged. His muscles popped and stretched under his skin, and he held on, ignoring the rope burn and dragging Trinket out of the flower patch. It was then that Scanlan realized he had never known what raw strength felt like until that moment. He knew Pike had the second highest strength stat of the party, but he hadn't considered what that truly meant; Pike was strong, stronger than he had ever given her credit for.

At last Trinket gave in to his pull, and he followed Scanlan to a clear patch of grass a length away. As soon as Scanlan came to a stop the thrashing started all over again.

"What's happening to him?" The way Vex's voice broke could make a person's stomach drop. "What's happening to Trinket?"

"I know those flowers," Keyleth said gravely. "We call them Ríst'cin Cuíl'ti in Elven. Cutting your skin on one of their thorns can..." She swallowed, her hands reaching to fiddle with her hair. "It can kill you in a matter of hours."

Vex seemed to pale, but she forced her jaw not to gape open, instead choosing to speak. "That's... that's not... that can't happen! Scanlan, you're in Pike's body! Cast Cure Wounds!"

"That... that would be a good idea," Keyleth started. "But... these flowers literally pull your soul from your body. Trinket is..." Her breath hitched. "He's dying as we speak."

And Cure Wounds did not work on the undead. Everyone knew that.

"The spell could still work, though!" Keyleth's voice seemed to break into a run and trip over itself when she spoke. "It just... would require some divine intervention. And I don't think Pike's goddess will respond to you, Scanlan. No offense."

Scanlan couldn't even be offended. It was him, for gods'-

"That's true. If Scanlan summoned Sarenrae, he would probably ask to sleep with her."

"Dammit, Vax, I wasn't offended before you said that!"

Vax shrugged. "It needed to be said."

"Guys?" Vex interrupted. "Can we focus on saving my bear's life?"

Trinket was shaking out his wrist, growling in frustration. Vex crouched down and slowly reached out to steady him. As soon as her fingertips connected with his shoulders, Trinket roared- a bloodied scream coming from Grog's body- and he knocked her aside with enough force to send her gnomish form tumbling across the dirt. Vax immediately sprung forward, sniffing Vex over and nudging her to her feet with his nose. Scanlan only caught it for a moment, but a look of paralyzing fear completely foreign to Vex'ahlia crossed her face before she threw it into Vax's shoulder.

Suddenly Scanlan felt his heart sink for Grog. It was his body that was dying. If Trinket died in Grog's body, he would never get to be himself again. He couldn't even imagine what Grog was thinking-

"Where the fuck did Grog go?"

Scanlan turned around just in time to see Grog flung through the air and into a creek.

A pack of giant spiders were closing in on him.

"Fuck," Scanlan sighed under his breath before announcing, "Guys? We've got company!"

Everyone took off running, except Scanlan, but that didn't matter because Trinket went running and dragged Scanlan along through the dirt. He could feel the skin tearing off his palms as rope burn accelerated, but at last he remembered to plant his feet down and yank back. To his surprise, he stopped Trinket in his tracks, just in time to watch the rest of his friends get their asses kicked.

"Dammit, Vax, your body is useless!" roared Grog as he picked himself up, his cape sopping with creek water.

"Because you just throw me into a hoard of giant spiders and expect good things to happen!" retorted Vax, tightening his body against an attack from the spiders, batting one away with a paw when it tried to take a bite out of his leg. "Use stealth. And for fuck's sake, throw the daggers!"

"Fine, fine!" Lifting a dagger high over his head, Grog flung it with such a force he clutched his elbow in pain as the blade went spinning across the woods and directly over the head of a spider.

"Balls! See? I told you you're useless!"

Scanlan was too busy watching the fight to check but he assumed Vax was rolling his eyes yet again.

Tiberius was attempting to fire arrows at the spiders, but he could barely loose one from the bow. And when he bent down to pick up one he dropped, all the rest came spilling out of Vex's quiver. With his head down, he didn't notice the spider looming over him, its mandibles dripping with bright green venom. Scanlan was just about to scream Tiberius's name, when Keyleth appeared at Tiberius's side, swinging Bad News like a club straight into the spider's head.

"Your highness!" Tiberius said in a way that was somehow both grateful and reproachful at once. "I appreciate the assist, but please, that gun is not a toy! You could blow someone's head off!"

Keyleth hugged the gun sheepishly. "Sorry, it was the first thing I could think to do!"

Vax sat back on his haunches. "This is a fucking disaster, and we're all going to die."

Scanlan had to agree. But it sucked, especially considering it would be giant spiders that got the best of them. Those were bronze piece-a-dozen. They had probably fought a hundred of them over the years. And now they would be the death of all of them. If this was a regular battle, he would be preparing a song of Bardic Inspiration right now. But he wasn't a bard anymore. There was nothing to be done. Except...

Vex was lingering in the back, wringing her hands and wincing every time one of their teammates got attacked. Her eyes roamed towards him and Trinket, but quickly snapped back towards the fight, like she couldn't bring herself to even look in that direction. Everyone she loved was dying, and she was powerless. The great Vex'ahlia was powerless. And it was eating her up inside.

"Vex," Scanlan said. "You know, one thing that might turn this fight around is a little inspiration."

Vex let out a noise that sounded like a cough mixed with a choke. "What- you mean me? I... I don't know how. I'm not... I'm not inspiring."

Scanlan sighed. This would require him to be nice to Vex. And as much as he couldn't stand her today, they were getting desperate and being nice was a gift he tried to forget he had but it was still there regardless. "No, you're not encouraging. You lack the right words to motivate people. But you are definitely inspiring. Watching you fight for the people you love, doing whatever it takes to save them, that inspires all of us every day."

"Yeah, well, what a great help that's doing us right now," Vex said with a laugh that would have sounded manic if she hadn't restrained herself.

"Well, you can still do whatever it takes," Scanlan said. "This is whatever it takes. Sing them a song."

"I don't know how to write a song- or sing."

"I'll help you-" A spider's hiss cracked across the woods, and Scanlan winced. Someone was going to wind up poisoned if they didn't act fast. "Quick! Repeat after me- uh... Do you hear the party sing?"

"Do you hear the party sing?" Vex echoed in a flat tone that was almost musical.

"You have to really sing it, or it won't work! And here, this is an F chord." Quickly he yanked his lute off of Vex's back, thrust it into her hands, and helped her fingers find the chord shape. "Do you hear the party sing?"

"Do you hear the party sing?"

"Singing the song that Vex will play! This is B flat! Now F chord!"

She strummed the lute clumsily, but it was passible enough. "Singing the song that Vex will play!"

"It is a vision of Vox Machina who won't be killed today!"

They sang an entire song this way, Vex following along with every line Scanlan wrote on the fly, her voice becoming louder and stronger with each verse until she could sing and play it on her own.

"Do you hear the party sing?

Singing the song that Vex will play

It is a vision of Vox Machina who won't be killed today!

Daggers, magic, arrows and bows!

Sexy and heroic mofos,

Kill the spiders and let's see where the story goes!"

All at once a golden light flashed through every member of the party- even Scanlan. Suddenly he felt stronger, healthier, and ready for everything. He felt inspired. He felt amazing.

And he felt even more amazing when he saw the tide of the battle turn before his very eyes. Everyone seemed more sure of themselves in their new bodies. Tiberius sent an arrow sailing into one spider's eye like he wasn't even trying. With an incredible stealth check, Grog slipped around the horde to retrieve his lost dagger, and he leapt onto the back of a spider and dug both blades into its head repeatedly, until it collapsed with a bloody screech. Vax had gone fully animal, using tooth and claw to rip legs and heads off of approaching spiders. Vex and Scanlan wore matching smiles as they watched the fight reach its climax and slowly die down into nothing but their party standing over the scattered, bloody remains of a spider horde.

"We did it!"

Vex looked like she couldn't believe it. Like she couldn't believe that they survived, like she couldn't believe she had helped them survive. It was a kind of incredulous that was almost beautiful- ew. Scanlan made a mental note to make sure that was the last time he ever used the word beautiful when referring to Vex. She bolted over to Vax and threw her arms around his neck before quickly moving to check on the rest of their party members.

As Vex made her rounds, Pike surveyed the scene and asked, "Is anybody poisoned?" Thankfully, everyone seemed to be okay.

Except Trinket, who Scanlan hadn't realized had gone quiet and had stopped fighting against his hold. The purple veins had spread from his arm to create a web across his neck and chest, and they were even darker than before.

"He's dying!" cried Vex. "Where's Percy? Why hasn't he found the enchanter yet?"

"We don't have time to wait for him," Keyleth said gravely. "The only hope we might have is if we could get some divine intervention."

"Oh, fuck, we're screwed."

The words came out before Scanlan even had a chance to process them. Not an infrequent occurrence, but this time it really wasn't helpful. They all knew there was no way a bastard like Scanlan could get the attention of a goddess of goodness, healing and light like Sarenrae. Pike could, obviously, but Pike had lost her connection to her patron deity when she was cast into Tiberius's body. Only Scanlan could summon her.

Probably. That was probably how that worked. And they didn't have the time to figure out if he was right or not.

"Scanlan, you have to try," said Tiberius. Fuck off, Tiberius- wait, no, that wasn't Tiberius. That was Pike, still in Tiberius's body, and suddenly the plea meant so much more to him.

"Pike, I hate to tell this, but I'm kind of an asshole." He tried to shake off the remorse his voice took on when he said this. The idea of disappointing Pike made his stomach twist, but there was nothing he could do. "Sarenrae won't talk to me."

"She will if I help you," Pike insisted. "Scanlan, we have to try. We can't just let Trinket die. That means Grog dies too. And Grog means too much to me- to us- to let that happen."

The idea of sharing a best friend- especially sharing a best friend with Pike- had never gotten less weird for Scanlan. Knowing that he was Grog's best friend in adulthood while his soulmate was best friends with him from childhood always made Scanlan feel strange in a way he couldn't explain. But he knew Pike was right.

"I'll try."

Pike smiled, and he could almost see her baby blue eyes lighting up.

He had seen her perform Divine Intervention enough times to know what to do. From inside his breastplate he pulled out the carved icon of Sarenrae Pike wore around her neck. He took hold of it and closed his eyes. This would be the part where she prayed to the goddess, asking for her assistance. But Scanlan had never prayed a word in his life.

He felt a big, rough hand take his, which startled him enough to make his eyes fly open.

"Oh, great Sarenrae, please look down upon me and my friend with favor," Pike whispered, her head bowed. "Your servants ask you for your wisdom and healing."

Scanlan, unsure of what to say, nodded fervently, and under his breath he muttered, "What she said."

Silence.

Nothing.

Trinket let out a groan of agony, and Scanlan knew he was approaching his last breath. He squeezed Pike's hand as tightly as his eyes squeezed shut. Trinket's mind and Grog's body, they were both about to be lost. And Scanlan had caused it because he was petty. What a shit friend he was. What a shit person in general. He knew he didn't deserve the attention of Sarenrae, but in that moment he would do anything for it.

Look, if you could cast your holy eyes on me for a second, maybe you'll see how pathetic I am and take pity on me, he found himself thinking. Whatever you need me to do, I'll do it. Never get my body back? I'll take it. Kill me? I mean, that's a little strong, but I guess if you have to- just make sure Pike's in her own body first-

When he heard gasps erupt around him, his eyes flew open. And he gasped so hard he choked on his saliva.

Descending from the tree line was Sarenrae herself, in all her glimmering, golden glory. The beating of her wings sent rhythmic gusts of wind rushing over the party. Pike had released Scanlan's hand and didn't acknowledge Scanlan in any way, keeping her head bowed in reverence as the goddess settled over their heads. Scanlan quickly remembered his place and did the same.

The silence that followed was awkward. It wasn't until Pike finally nudged his elbow with a claw that he realized he would have to be the one doing the talking. That was usually his job, but conversing with a genuine deity fell distinctly outside his realm of experience.

"Um... greetings."

Greetings?

"Our friend, he's dying, and the only way we can save him is with your divine intervention. Please."

She didn't say anything. She just stared at Scanlan with an unreadable look.

"Please, Sarenrae. I'll do anything you ask. Please just save my friend."

Trinket curled in on himself, shaking in the dirt. Any second now and whatever was left of his soul would be pulled from his body, and there would be no fixing it. He heard a sob Vex was trying very hard to choke back.

The golden light that beamed down onto Trinket was so blindingly bright it knocked Scanlan back a few steps. It was a light so bright it could be heard like a high-pitched buzzing in his brain. He had to turn away, covering his whole face with the edge of Pike's blue scarf.

When the light and noise died down, Scanlan peeked out to find that Sarenrae had disappeared, and Trinket was rising to his hands and feet. With a shake of his head and a very bearlike snuffle, life seemed to return to him all at once. Vex, all twenty four inches of her, almost knocked him over with the way she ran and threw her arms around Trinket's neck. Even with her face hidden in her arms, it was obvious that she was crying. Just as quickly as she had barreled into Trinket she turned and threw her arms around Vax. Her gasping cries were audible now, muffled against Trinket's furry shoulder, and Vax rested his nose against the top of her head, whispering words of calming that only Vax could get away with saying to her.

Until he turned to his other side and realized that Keyleth was also hugging him, and he said, "What the... what the fuck are you doing?"

"Sorry!" Keyleth burst out, jumping backwards. "I'm sorry. I'm just... really happy Trinket's okay... and hugging Grog would be kinda awkward... but yeah, wrong time. Sorry."

Vex wiped her eyes on her sleeve and laughed, moving to wrap her arms around Keyleth's legs. Vax's bear ears flicked uncomfortably, and after catching eyes with Vex he dropped his head, which Keyleth took readily as an invitation to scratch his head.

"This is all... this is all great..." Vax stumbled out, clearly fighting the urge to lean his head into the scratching. "But we still need to get back into our bodies. And I'm pretty sure we sent Percy out to his death."

As if on cue, they heard the sound of an eagle's scream in the distance until it was quickly cut short.

Chapter Text

Without a plan and with very little sense of direction, Vox Machina broke into a run towards where the eagle sounded like it was probably coming from. As he followed after his party, he tripped over a root and face planted into the dirt; even with Pike's high dexterity levels, it all happened too fast for Scanlan to realize he could make a saving throw. Just as he lifted his head, he caught Vax bounding past him with Vex on his back like they were a horse and rider. Lucky bitch, getting to be the bear's sister. He could have switched into the body of any member of the party, and he still didn't get long legs. Couldn't Pike grow wings sometimes? He should have asked Sarenrae for one more favor when he had her-

"C'mon, let's go!" cried Pike as she swept him up and threw him over her shoulder in one breezy movement. As Scanlan was hoisted off the ground, he felt his breath catch in his throat. He tried to work up a clever line about Pike saving the day but he decided to just stay quiet.

She stopped running so suddenly Scanlan thought for sure he was going to go flying out of her grasp, but she held him firmly in place.

"The wagon. I see it," Vex said in a harsh whisper. "Percy's... oh."

When they squinted, they could see a shape magically pop out of the ground. It was Percy, back in Keyleth's human form, lying face-down in the dirt. The musician bent down next to him and picked up a thin rod. The enchanted pipe.

"We need a stealth check," Vax said. "Grog, you're going to have to be me and... stealthily... approach the wagon and go in for the kill."

Grog scowled. "I'm plenty stealthily!"

Scanlan didn't catch who did it, but he heard someone slap their own forehead.

Tilting his head backwards to look at Vex, Vax said, "Stubby, you should go with him. Cast Scanlan's invisibility spell."

Vex nodded, slid off Vax's back, and went over to stand by Grog while he was making a stealth check.

"It's a concentration spell, so as long as you stay focused on it you should have plenty of time to do your thing," Scanlan said to Vex.

She nodded. "Okay... thanks."

"Anytime."

Vex closed her eyes and took in a breath, and after a long pause she vanished from sight. "Nice work."

"I'm giving you a thumbs-up right now," said Vex's disembodied voice.

Scanlan chuckled. Then immediately stopped when he saw Grog sprinting through the woods and towards the wagon. "Oh- you better go."

"Wait, what'd he get for the check-?" He could hear the sound of Vex groaning in frustration followed by her light footsteps as she ran to catch up to Grog.

"Hurry, everyone, over here," instructed Vax as he... this 600-pound bear was tiptoeing... over to a thick brush and ducked down. The rest of the party followed, crouching down and peeking through windows in the foliage and commentating in harsh whispers.

"Look, he's getting closer."

"What'd he get on his stealth check?"

"Oh, fuck, Grog!"

Everyone felt their hope die gruesomely as the musician spotted Grog before he could close in on the wagon. Instantly, Grog threw both daggers in rapid succession, neither of them hitting the musician; the inspiration had worn off, and Grog was back to being a barbarian trapped in the body of a rogue. A high-pitched, girly scream from an unknown source sounded as the second dagger went whizzing by, and all at once Vex was visible again, her concentration broken.

"Grog, you almost killed me!" they could hear her yell. The musician's head darted back and forth between the two noisy invaders, and with stealth having completely abandoned their side everyone charged at once into the fray. Thankfully the crisis was much too immediate for anyone to point out that Vex's scream sounded way more feminine in Scanlan's body than it ever did in her own, and Scanlan hoped they would remain silent on this until the end of time.

Once again Scanlan was flung over Pike's shoulder, and they were running again. He watched as Keyleth ran with a leg of meat held out at arm's length, which Trinket followed after ravenously.

The musician's face dropped in momentary panic when he saw this raging herd of lunatics charging at him, and quickly he lifted his pipe to his mouth.

"His pipe! Somebody get the pipe!" Vax shouted, his voice slurring between speech and roar. "Tiberius, cast Hunter's Mark!"

Being a sorcerer as well-trained as Tiberius, Vex's signature spell was effortless for him to cast. A blue glow flashed around his temples for a split second before the musician's chest illuminated in the same icy color. Now it was just a matter of firing the bow. Scanlan could feel his face flush from holding his breath, but he could tell that Tiberius's stance had improved since the fight with the spiders. Tiberius, you damn fast learner, Scanlan might actually say something nice about you out loud if you could pull this off.

The arrow loosed from the quiver and went sailing beautifully across the forest, straight for the glowing mark on the musician's chest. The musician squeezed his eyes shut and turned his head before playing a shrill harmony from the pipe. Scanlan's heart skipped a beat when he saw the arrow come to a complete stop in midair, suspended in place by a magenta cloud of enchantment.

Even though the arrow was the only thing frozen, not a single member of Vox Machina moved. The musician was breathless, panting out panic as he looked at each member at a time.

"I know who you are, Vox Machina," the musician said. "I'll change you all back, but I'm keeping the wagon. And all the gold inside."

"Why?!" demanded Vex like the idea of losing her gold took precedence over losing her body, because it did.

"Because this is the only way I make any money!" he snapped defensively, like a dog backed into a corner. "Nobody wants to hire a musician. And I never learned how to do anything else! Except steal!"

"That doesn't make it okay, though!" Scanlan heard Keyleth say.

The musician snapped his neck towards Keyleth with a sharp scowl on his face. "It does if I'm starving to death! It's not like you would ever understand, swimming in jobs and gold and being beloved by all. You don't know what it's like to work hard and never be appreciated! So unless you all want to end up like your bird friend, you'll keep your mouths shut and let me take your wagon!"

All at once, the voice in Scanlan's head was loud, and he knew he had to listen to it.

Make an insight check.

Scanlan squinted hard at the musician and checked. Natural twenty- beautiful Pike and your unfailing wisdom, thank gods for you.

"You're lying."

The musician turned his head, and once they made eye contact Scanlan found himself marching towards him. "You're lying about all of it. You weren't fired because you were a bad musician, you thought you deserved more than what you were getting, weren't you? Your boss caught you using that pipe to steal something from him, and he fired you. Didn't he?"

The musician suddenly looked like Tiberius's arrow had hit its mark. Scanlan was right.

"He never appreciated me," he growled, red-faced with spittle spraying from his mouth, which was super gross, but Scanlan left it alone. "I was never a person to him, just some puppet on strings! I thought you knew how that felt!"

A scream of frustration was muffled by the pipe's mouthpiece, and everything that happened next was too fast for Scanlan to make sense of. There was a short burst of musical notes, and then the musician jumping to the side, just as the frozen arrow went whizzing past his shoulder and straight into the tree behind him. Scanlan watched these few seconds like he was watching an hours-long play, like it was all happening to some other people in some other world. And when his mind woke up, he was floating off the ground, his whole body glowing with that same magenta force that had bound the arrow in place. And his body moved against the will of his brain, and he bounced and twirled through the air like a drunken marionette to the hypnotic song of the pipe.

Through the cloud of pink Scanlan saw a fireball barrel from the side straight at the musician. Even before it made contact Scanlan tore at his lip and thought, No, Pike, no.

The musician saw the flames coming and immediately turned his attention to Pike, playing a rapid new tune. At its sound the force holding Scanlan suspended vanished, and suddenly he was falling. Even as the ground came faster and closer, he squeezed his eyes shut so he wouldn't have to see Pike be consumed by her own fireball. She was going to die, and he was going to die, and hell maybe they were all going to die at the hands of Scanlan's hired assassin.

Instinctively, Scanlan curled into a ball and put his hands over his head, bracing for the impact of the ground, and with the final breath he sucked in he prayed that Sarenrae, if they could call each other friends at this point, would keep Pike from dying right now. If it was a blood sacrifice she wanted, she was about to get one. And that was fine, just use it to protect Pike. Please.

When his downwards falling seemed to turn into falling straight forwards, Scanlan opened his eyes.

Somehow his falling had changed directions, and he was heading straight for the musician, who was so stunned he let the pipe slip out of his hands. Scanlan didn't know what was happening, but he let the force take him straight for this son of a bitch and knock him to the ground. It felt great, but he didn't stop there. He kept moving, rocketing straight for a tree. The screaming of his name by his friends and his panicked heartbeat filled his head, and he reared back so his head was as far from the target as possible. As his course slowed down he breathed a word of thanks to... had Sarenrae really pulled through?

When he finally stilled, he noticed the heavy beating on either side of him.

Wings.

What the fuck.

He had summoned the Wings of Everlight.

What the actual fuck.

He had no time to think about it. He knew this would only last for ten minutes. Awkwardly he maneuvered himself around and searched the ground for Pike. His heart fell when he spotted her lying limply in the grass, her blue robes streaked with black burn marks. He reached his arms out to her as if the wings would know what he wanted and take him there. To his shock, he was suddenly swooping towards the ground, following his tunnel vision straight to Pike's prone form. Like a habit as instinctive as breathing, he held his arm over her and willed her to stand. For every burn on her body to mend itself and for her to feel stronger than ever before. For a moment her whole body flashed golden, and she sat up with a gasping breath.

Her eyes followed the warm glow above her, and when she locked eyes with Scanlan, her mouth dropped open, giving way to a look Scanlan had had never received from her before. Dare he say it, she looked impressed.

"Scanlan!"

As much as Scanlan wanted to savor the feeling, to ask Pike if she was okay and to visualize what that impressed expression looked like on her real face, he turned around and was met with Grog, standing in front of the musician who was on his stomach, held at gunpoint and claw-point by Keyleth and Vax. Held high in Grog's hand was the musician's pipe. "Catch!"

And he threw the pipe with the skill of a trained rogue. It sailed through the air and straight for Scanlan's waiting arms. Down below, he heard Grog let out an exhilarated laugh and cry, "I did it!"

Scanlan didn't know how much time he had left, but he still took a few seconds to clean the mouthpiece on his shirt because fucking ew. Then lowered himself closer to the ground and tried to work up a memory of the incident, desperately searching his mind for the tune the musician had played. All at once it came rushing back to him, and he celebrated his genius as he began to play.

As he came closer and closer to the end of the tune with no sign of change, his stomach started to lurch. As he rang out the last note panic settled in. Nobody had changed.

"What am I doing wrong?" Scanlan demanded, brandishing the pipe like a weapon towards the pinned musician. "Tell me or I shall... smite you. In the name of Sarenrae I shall smite you so hard."

"You think I'm scared of you?" the musician said with a very noticeable voice crack, crushed under Vax's paw. "All this is is just another instance of Vox Machina getting everything they want-"

The rest of his tirade was lost as Vax let out a devastating roar right into his ear.

The musician silenced, turning his paled face into his elbow.

"Backwards," he whispered, his eyes squeezed shut. "Play it backwards."

Now was that so hard? Scanlan played the tune note for note, end to start, and before he was even halfway through the song he felt a change. His mind felt lucid, like it wanted to float away, and as Scanlan played the final notes of the backwards tune, he let it.

It felt like an eternity slipped by in those few seconds. When his eyes opened, he found himself holding Keyleth, who slumped against his chest. It only took his conscious a few moments to fully flood into his body, and it must have taken Keyleth the same amount of time, because at once they both cringed deeply at the realization that they had entered in on a moment between Vex and Percy.

"Uh... how you feelin' Keyleth?" Scanlan asked, trying to smother this horrible knowledge over.

"I'm okay," Keyleth said, and though her face was lowered he could hear a distinct grimace. "He got Percy good, though."

He had to peer over her far side to see she was bleeding through her bodice. Poor Pike, after the time Scanlan had spent inhabiting her body, probably needed a rest before she could heal again.

"Not to worry, I can help with that." Closing his eyes, Scanlan hummed a little tune, casting Healing Word on her. After the unearthly power he had experienced as Pike, he found himself embarrassed and a little disappointed by his rudimentary healing ability, but it would do for now.

When Keyleth inhaled, clear and strong, Scanlan asked, "Better?" She nodded, and he stepped back so she could rise to her feet.

"Thanks. Do you really... feel that way?" Keyleth asked as she turned to face him. "Under-appreciated and all that?"

Scanlan bit back a sigh. After everything they had gone through today, the self-pity of this morning was embarrassing. "No, Keyleth. Not at all."

"Okay, cuz- cuz you really are important to this party. We really need you. So thanks for being here."

Oh, Keyleth.

He grinned. "Thanks for having me."

She smiled, and it only got wider when she noticed something behind her. "Trinket!"

She almost trampled Scanlan as she ran past him toward the bear, who had been restored to his former glory. Vex was already hugging his neck with everything she had, and Vax stood at her side, petting his back. Keyleth quickly found an open spot on Trinket's other side and showered the top of his head with kisses and scratches.

If Scanlan didn't know better- which he totally did- he would say Vax seemed to be eyeing Keyleth rather than Trinket, and he looked almost jealous of the attention the bear was receiving from her. Scanlan couldn't tell you when that happened, but he was happy to see someone else pining for once.

Which reminded him- where was Pike? Oh, there she was, getting spun in the air by Grog. After everything Scanlan had put her body through (and not in the fun way), her golden hair was falling out of its bun and into her eyes, masking just enough of her laughing face to make Scanlan's stomach tie itself in a knot. Quietly he watched her come and go, around and around and back again, until finally Grog set her on her shoulder. He caught eyes with Scanlan, and the knowing look on his face had never made Scanlan more grateful to call Grog Strongjaw his best friend. He walked with Pike, keeping their easy conversation going, and he set her down just a few feet from Scanlan before continuing on, probably to go help Percy beat up the musician.

"Are you alright?" was the first thing that left Scanlan's mouth.

Pike nodded. "Back to normal. Thank you."

Scanlan waved a hand, his eyes darting to the grass around her boot. "Ah, don't... don't thank me. I caused this. I really shouldn't be receiving thanks for getting us out of a problem I created in the first place."

"Well..." Pike trailed off, like she was trying to think of a reason why Scanlan was wrong but gave up. "Well, anyway, you did fix it, and you took care of me-"

Why did Scanlan's breath catch?

"-when you were in my body, I mean. Thanks for not letting me get beat up too bad."

"Of course, Pike," Scanlan said. "Anything for you."

"And how did you summon the wings of Everlight?" Her eyes lit up as these words tumbled out of her mouth, like she had been waiting a year to ask him this question.

He smiled, drinking in this moment and ignoring the fact that it had all happened so suddenly, caught between the realms of Pike's instinct, Sarenrae's intervention, and Scanlan's fight-or-flight, "I don't want to die" reflex, that he didn't know how it had happened.

"What can I say, baby? I learned by watching the best."

Pike chuckled uncomfortably, brushing a loose golden thread behind her ear. "Well, it was cool. I'm proud of you. And... thanks again."

She lifted her arms, hesitated for a moment, then moved in to give Scanlan a hug.

It happened so suddenly Scanlan almost missed it. But before she could slip by, he wrapped his arms around her waist and held her close, just for a moment, happy to find that she really did smell like strawberries.

When distance resettled itself between them, Pike adjusted her bun and gave Scanlan a nervous smile before hurrying off to join the others, who were having fun sorting through the loot they had frisked off the musician. The musician, now shirtless- evidently Percy was back on his "let's strip the enemy because it's funny" kick- was lying facedown in the grass, unconscious. Poor sap didn't have a Pike to restore him, didn't have a party to go crawling back to-

"Scanlan!" called Vex, waving to him from the wagon. "We're setting out for the next city! You coming or what?"

-and Scanlan thanked Sarenrae he didn't know what that was like.

Breaking into a run, he jumped into the back of the wagon just as it started to move. Vex gave him a hand up, and he joined his teammates inside.

"Truly fascinating," breathed Tiberius as he studied the enchanted pipe. "I would love to figure out how it works, but sadly these claws are not meant for playing music." At this his eyes shifted to Scanlan. "Scanlan, would you be interested in keeping it?"

No doubt that thing would make him more powerful than he had ever experienced in his own body. Maybe more powerful than he would ever reach on his own. And maybe that was why his answer was so easy to find.

"Hell, no. That thing is more trouble than it's worth. I'm happy just being the bard."

He settled in between Pike and Grog, more than ready to for the longest wagon ride of his life.