Chapter Text
Technoblade found a dead frilidote on the other side of his plot of farmland. It unnerved him to find the dangerous predator dead and surrounded by its dried blood. He hasn’t heard of frilidotes having a natural predator, and it doesn’t look like its pack attacked it. Especially since there is a trail of red blood that doesn’t belong to any predator on this planet. So Technoblade does the most logical thing he’s ever done. He follows the trail and when it goes dry; he follows the smell.
On the trek to find the predator or other life-form, he finds broken pieces of dendrons and the grassy layer is exposing the soil underneath. It looks like they were giving chase. If it was the frilidote or the predator being chased is a question he doesn’t want the answer to. But he can’t lie when he says he’s curious to find it. So he continues to follow the scent of blood.
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At the end of the trail, Technoblade finds eaten food, a dead fire, and a den. The inside of the den has the pungent smell of blood and the faint smell of two occupants. They might already be dead with how bad the smell is, so he opens the den and finds himself shell-shocked. Inside of the den, is a dying human. Technoblade has half the mind of leaving it to die, but he’s always been weak to frail animals. The amount of pets he has in his cottage and barn is enough evidence of that.
So warily, Technoblade pulls the human out of its den and onto the ground. Once it’s laying there, he stares at it. He’s never seen a human before, never this close either. Although he’s never seen one, he’s confident when he says they shouldn’t be this pale and sickly looking. Technoblade puts his hand to their head and freezes when its eyes flutter open.
It let out a joyful sound looking at him, and made a poor attempt at oinking at him. Its accent is bad and sounds like a terrible impression, how it knows his planet’s mother tongue is concerning, but it oinked at him. A sound only shoats make to their parents. Oh Subscription, is this a shoat mistaking him as their guardian? Was that what he also smelled, its parent? But why is it bleeding? Did its parent leave after making it a shelter and then the frilidote attacked it?
All these questions flew through his head and the voices in his head answered.
Take, take baby. Parent, parent abandon, take take. Protect, protect young! E. Kill it, kill the baby. Protect, protect young. Cute, brown, golden clothes. E. Red, red, blood, bleeding young. Take, take and protect them. Bad pack, take runt and protect, pack not good enough for them. E. Blood for the Blood God. Kill, kill young. Danger. Young, cute, safe. Save young, pack pack.
Technoblade sighed, rubbing his forehead from the waking headache. His ears flicked as he acknowledged his chat’s poor advice, but can’t stop himself from listening to them. Majority of them want him to take the human, while a few want the human to die. He listens to the majority, only because they’re rich. ( Also, because he has no self-control. )
He looks down again at the loopy human and tilts his head curiously. He knocks his knuckles against their forehead, and they cry out. His hand instantly flies away from the head as they cradle it. He feels guilty for hurting the human. They look up at him with unfocused eyes and try to draw him closer. Technoblade does so, hesitantly going closer to them. Then they knocked their knuckles against his forehead. Again, they made a joyous sound and bared their teeth.
Technoblade displayed his back, and his tusks engrossed the human. They showed him their teeth again, albeit they were bloody, and showed him their bottom canines. He nodded enthusiastically, feigning interest to encourage the human. The human bared their teeth and gave his snout a pat before falling asleep.
Technoblade can now confidently say that he gained the human’s trust, even though they were loopy with blood loss.
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The human is lying on his bed-chair (a furniture he made up by making a chair longer and feeling like a bed, it’s nicer than his actual bed). The voices in his head were cheering him on, and a few of them were telling him to call it a couch (which is a stupid name). He found a bite mark on their stomach, but he easily cleaned it out with the healing potions and medicine he has. It would’ve been more worrying if he had nothing to counter the caffeine in their bloodstream.
Yes, human will be gr8ful! Human pack now. Phil can’t know. E. Phil will get rid of human. Pack packmate now! Human ours. Dirty human, clean, clean. E. Kill it.
“I forgot about Phil, oh Subscription, he will not be supportive. Why didn’t I think this far ahead? What if I just hide them in my room? Phil usually respects my space! Yeah, yeah, I’ll just hide my human.” Technoblade muttered, chuffs escaping him as well. Technoblade froze as he heard Phil’s voice outside, talking to a guest. Oh Subscription, demonetize him now.
Technoblade quickly grabbed his bundle of animal skin and covered the human with them. Now, he stood awkwardly in the middle of a room with his bed-chair covered in furs. Phil is going to suspect him the minute he scuttles in. The door opens without complaint as Phil leads an Avian in. They look young for their species and far from their planet with their wings clipped. Well, he can’t judge them. Phil walks past him as he sits the Avian down, not even looking Technoblade’s way.
He didn’t expect Phil to just gloss over him, but he expected the Avian to stare at him. They were staring at his bed-chair. Please Subscription, make him look too intimidating just this once.
“What’s under the animal skin.” They say, the question not at all sounding like a question.
“What’s your name?” He counters back. The Avian looks at him with an offended look and squawks at him.
“What’s your name?” They retort.
“Technoblade, a male.”
“Tommy Innit, a male as well.” Tommy says as he looks at the bed-chair again.
“What the Prime is that abomination?” Tommy crudely asks.
“A chair that is used as a bed.” Technoblade answers.
“Who is using it? There’s someone under the covers, I can smell them.” Tommy picks at the animal furs and Technoblade freezes. He almost growls at Tommy for being so close to his human, and the voices scream at him to keep the Avian away while others were screaming at him to do nothing. So he stood still.
“It’s best not to wake them up, they are healing right now.” Technoblade advises.
Absentmindedly, Tommy whistles and it should’ve done nothing. But under the covers, a faint whistle answers back–and the planet stops moving on its axis. Technoblade stares at the Avian as he stares back at him, a new look in his eyes. Tommy’s bright feathers flashed in his peripheral as the kid hisses at him.
“So you’re the one who took them.” Tommy says, with venom in his voice. He’s closer to the human than Technoblade is, and it angers him very much. The voices are quiet, but a few of them speak up to tell him to pluck Tommy’s feathers out.
“What are you talking about?” Technoblade lies as he hunches over a bit, a tell his species did before they rushed forward with their tusks pointed out.
“You have my human.” Tommy says as he pulls the furs off of the human. Technoblade growls when he sees his pack cold. The human slowly wakes up from their slumber, and their eyes shoot open as they push themselves onto their arms. They stare at Technoblade and Tommy, confused.
“What is going on-” Phil stares at the human. “Is that… is that a human?” Phil asks, not looking away from the human. When they look back at Phil, they bare their teeth as a loud, happy sound escapes them. Tommy looks at the human, offended.
“Stop! You can’t do that with them, we’re flock!” Tommy whines.
“Oh please, if you two are flock then you’re doing a terrible job.” He says. Phil quickly tries to stop him from saying more.
“Excuse me? You are not telling me I’m a bad flockmate.”
“I am, actually. Because a good pack wouldn’t leave them alone while they’re injured.”
Before Technoblade could go further–the human speaks up.
“Can you two shut the fuck up? I have a killer headache and you two arguing isn’t helping.” They say as they sigh dramatically.
“Wait, you can understand us?” Tommy asks.
“Well, now I can. I’m pretty sure that crash might’ve done something to the chip they put in me.” They say, unbothered.
“Wait, you crashed that ship?” Phil asks.
“I crashed the ship, actually.” Tommy says.
“You haven’t tried saying anything until now?” Technoblade asks, exasperated.
“Well, nobody tried talking to me.” They say, shrugging as they lie back down and bring the furs closer to them.
“I didn’t know aliens had nice couches, should’ve been abducted sooner.” The human mumbles to themself.
“Wait, who do you like more?” Tommy asks.
“Ask me later.” They say as they settle into the covers more.
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“Wait, did he call my invention a couch?”
“Guess your voices were right, mate.”
“No!! It’s so stupid though!”