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“Let’s go through this one more time,” Hu Tao said between pops of cherry-flavoured bubble gum. She drummed her lily-themed nails on the steering wheel. Childe nodded from the front seat, giving Zhongli a pained but “You-know-the-works” look through the rear view mirror, meeting his resigned eyes. “One, don’t-”
“-Let Zhongli wander off to the section with books and cards and weird 99.99 dollar slides,” Childe ticked off with a finger.
“Two!” Hu Tao shouted. A car behind them honked angrily; Hu Tao cursed and eased the car forward. “Continue for me, I’m going to strangle this traffic light.”
“Make sure Zhongli doesn’t somehow manage to stir up a conversation with some poor staff demanding the difference between smooth and chunky peanut butter,” Xiao muttered, picking at his fingernails.
Zhongli winced. “It was that one time-”
“Three!” Hu Tao shouted in time with the beep of the horn of the car behind them.
“And it’s still a valid question-”
“Do not let Zhongli handle money without any of us watching,” Childe said, ticking off his last finger, “and finally-”
“Don’t make out with him in the cereal section,” Xiao said, sitting up straight to glare at Childe through the mirror. The next level of Candy Crush rang out on his phone.
Zhongli gave Childe a look of long-suffering through the rear view mirror, raising one hand. “Do I get any say in this at all-”
“Nope!” Hu Tao said, smiling.
“Really, Hu Tao, I don’t think this is-”
“Nope!”
“Now here’s a list,” Hu Tao said, shoving a scrunched-up receipt into Childe’s hand. “Me and Xiao are gonna go to the bread store to get the sweet rolls that Venti likes because Xiao ever so politely requested it. Oh, also when you somehow make it to the snack section without spending all your money, get some walnuts, because Guizhong said she wanted some.” Xiao muttered something about needing to go to the bakery quickly before the line got longer. “Don’t forget anything on the list, because it’s Christmas in – what, like, four days? – and damn near everyone in Teyvat is coming over and I am ready to drive my chopsticks into an electrical socket.”
“Hang on a second,” Hu Tao said as Xiao nudged her a little before resuming her rapid-fire instructions, “and remember you have to buy cinnamon-powdered doughnuts for Havria because she’s visiting tomorrow from Sal Terrae, you really can’t forget about that, because otherwise I’ll bury you next to a worm farm, and oh alright Xiao for Christ’s sake – anyways don’t knock over any cardboard stands and Lord preserve your soul I get it Xiao watch out for mistletoe! Bye now-”
And then she was off, Xiao dragging her by the arm. Zhongli took the receipt from Childe and gingerly unfolded it. He squinted. “Can you read this?”
Childe glanced at the paper. Half of it was written in Liyuean, which he could not decipher, and the other half in common tongue, which wasn’t much better. Most of the shopping list wasn’t so much shopping but random comments and thoughts. He grimaced. “Zhongli, you better figure out the Liyuean in an hour. I don’t want to be buried next to a worm farm.”
Hu Tao watched the pair pore over the receipt while standing in the line, occasionally stopping to glance at Xiao on his 5286th level of Candy Crush. She nibbled on a fingernail, trying to think of anything else she’d forgotten to tell Childe and Zhongli.
She gasped. Xiao looked up from his phone in alarm. “What?”
“Do you think I should’ve told them to buy more decorations?”
Zhongli gave the snow globe a tentative shake. “Is this geologically accurate?”
Childe shrugged, watching it the little white specks shower down onto the palm tree. “I’ve never heard of it snowing in Natlan. Want to buy it?”
Zhongli frowned. He turned the globe upside down as if he expected an informative description to be written on the bottom. “A snow globe usually depicts a landmark, town or figure in a region that snows, being a decorative ornament, sometimes a collectible item, during winter. Surely these white particles are snow?” His eyes widen slightly in alarm. “Ajax, do you think it might be volcanic ash?”
Childe blinked. He’s not sure he heard that properly. “What?”
In the end, the snow (volcanic ash? Tonight on 7 News) globe is in the cart, next to a bag of white rice and a littler bag of quinoa. Childe threw in a couple things that aren’t on the list but will take the blame for later, like three packets of Nerds, because he loves Nerds, a jar of blueberry jam for Tonia, an extra tube of Pringles for Guizhong, and…
“Childe,” Zhongli said, eyes wide. Uh-oh. Childe knew this look. It’s the look he gives in to every time, because he simply can’t resist like the others do. “I want that.”
Childe picked up the object in question. “Why do you want a…what even is…Zhongli, this is a bag of rocks.”
“It’s a bag of gemstones, all perfectly imitating an antique style of carving and cut into cabochons, although some are cut into different shapes due to their optical properties for which daylight, or white light, can pass through to best maximise the reflected light which the human eye can see to sparkle. There are opals and lapis lazuli, which coincidentally are both not minerals but used for ornamental jewellery, simply because of their aesthetic value. Amber, jet and pearl also happen to be-”
“It still looks like a bag of rocks to me.”
“Please?” Zhongli asked, and Childe physically looks away for a long moment only to sigh. Hold out his hand wordlessly. With a delighted air, Zhongli plopped the tiny bag of ro – sorry, gemstones – onto his hand.
“How much is this, anyway?” He flipped the bag over and let go of the cart in immediate shock, and Zhongli holds onto it. “45 dollars? For this?” Childe squinted at Zhongli, who looked back innocently.
Childe huffed, steering both the cart and Zhongli away. “I do this because I love you,” he muttered to himself, except Zhongli hears, granting a full minute’s silence before Zhongli rambles about the health benefits of honey, a little too loudly to be normal.
Hu Tao jump-scared them in the kitchen aisle, tugging Xiao along by his jacket sleeve. “BOO!” Zhongli gave an involuntary step back. “Have you guys bought everything yet?”
Without waiting for a response, she dug through the cart to check. “You guys didn’t buy the 23 packs of strawberry Eclipse?”
Childe smiled pleasantly. “Fucking excuse me?”
Hu Tao snatched another scrap of paper from her pocket – she’d evidently made two copies. “See. Right here. 23 packets.”
Zhongli bent over the paper, the surface nearly touching his nose. Childe privately thought it was a miracle he wasn’t going cross-eyed. “Is this 2 in Liyuean or 2 in universal? And…and what is this…is this san? Three?”
Childe looked as well. “That’s not a three. That’s easily a…that could be anything.”
Xiao stood on his toes to try and look over his shoulder and failed. He stepped around Childe and frowned. “That’s easy to read. ’23 strawberry Eclipse, because Yanfei’…” He sensibly trailed off, especially since Hu Tao looked ready to throw the knives dangling on display at him.
“Anyways!” Hu Tao said, “it’s been 40 minutes and you’ve only bought half the list! Xiao, switch with Childe. Make sure Zhongli doesn’t buy anything else or we’re gonna have to start taking money out of Teucer’s college fund.”
“Teucer doesn’t have a college fund,” Childe sniffed. Hu Tao shrugged. “Fine, we’ll take it out of your KFC salary. Let’s go!”
“Xiao.”
Xiao fought not to roll his eyes. “Zhongli, please.”
“But Xiao, look.”
Xiao looked. Zhongli was holding a tiny tortoise in his hands. “Where. Did you get that.”
“There’s a terrarium over there and all these little tortoises are for sale. Can we keep him?”
After a normal amount of staring and attempting to silently plead with each other through the eyes, Xiao muttered a swear word that would make Guizhong proud and spun the cart around. To be honest he kind of wanted the tortoise too. “Alright, but don’t tell Hu Tao. We’ll wait until we get home and she’s all tired and then we’ll show her-”
“Show me what?”
Zhongli jumped and nearly dropped his new tortoise. Hu Tao tapped his left shoulder and moved to his right, looking at his hands. “Wow, she’s cute!”
Zhongli reared back, sheltering the little reptile with a protective hand. “It’s male. You can tell by the longer tail and the concave stomach, although seeing how that isn’t particularly visible right now, you could also tell by the V-shaped notch in his shell-”
Hu Tao waved him off. “Your tortoise could be whatever pronoun it pleases, my only problem with him is that he’s not on my list.”
“Think of it is an early Christmas present?” Zhongli asked.
Hu Tao raised an eyebrow. “Yeah? Xiao, back me up.”
Xiao scratched the back of his neck. “I mean…”
She opened her mouth in dramatic shock. “Xiao.”
“Where’s Childe?” Zhongli said tactfully. Hu Tao gave him a sideways glance.
“You’re not off the hook yet. Childe’s already at the counter paying, he sent me to collect you guys.”
Nevertheless, the tortoise, newly christened as Morax, made it through the checkout process and was now nestled happily in Zhongli’s hand.
Once they were outside and walking to the parking lot, arms laden with heavy shopping bags (“See? Plastic-free, this is exactly the sort of thing Yan-Yan cares about,” Hu Tao told them matter-of-factly), Hu Tao and Xiao walked off first, leaving Childe to bump shoulders with Zhongli as he nearly tripped down the curb.
Hu Tao had parked the car (which was a sleek black interrupted by a series of Hello Kitty stickers slapped on the bumper for shits and giggles), next to one of the beams that supported a large roof to prevent rain and snow from falling onto vehicles. They both quickly ducked under it, shaking snow out of their hair – Zhongli in particular was attempting to both balance Morax in his hand and shake ice out of his long ponytail.
“Fuck!” Hu Tao cursed. “I forgot my keys, they’re in my coat. Which is at the bread store. Wait for me a second boys,” she said, flying back up the stairs, “I’ll be right back.”
Xiao shrugged and flicked snow out of his hair. “Be back fast. It’s freezing.” He leaned against the door, tapping his phone to life as he entered another level of Candy Crush.
Childe squirmed on the spot, possibly he was a bit cold and struggling with the bags. Zhongli nudged him. “You can put those down if they’re heavy.”
He let out a strange little laugh. “No, no, it’s not that. It’s, just, well.” He pointed up. “Mistletoe.”
Zhongli looked up. Indeed, there was a clump of leaves strung up on the archway forming the beam, but he didn’t know why it merited comment. “Ah. Mistletoe, known as obligate hemiparasite plants in the order Santalales, Santalales referring to its type genus Santalum, which is sandalwood, representing an order of flowering plant, and obligate meaning a parasitic lifeform that cannot complete a full lifecycle without a living host, native mostly in Mondstadt. Why do you ask?”
Childe suddenly dropped his shopping bags. Zhongli blinked, startled. He opened his mouth to say something else, but Childe put a finger to his lips and stepped closer, an expression he couldn’t read on his face.
“Maybe it’d be easier if I showed you,” he said.
Zhongli blinked again, this time in confusion. “Showed me what? The plant is right there-”
Childe grabbed the front of his sweater, tugging him forward, and whatever words he planned to say died in his mouth. He felt warm, especially with the snow falling around them, his nose and cheeks red with blush, Zhongli’s pulse hammering away in his neck. Hesitantly, he tilted his head to get a better angle and made a surprised, sharp inhale as Childe took that as an invitation to press forwards with a new, lingering sort of hunger. He made a small little noise that faded in the back of his throat, something like a groan and a sigh but not exactly both, and he stopped thinking.
As Childe pulled away, he laughed a little, his breath tickling his nose. “You never knew about mistletoe, did you?”
Zhongli ran his tongue over his teeth, swallowing in a failed attempt to disguise to hide the rasp of his throat. “Er, no. I did not.”
Xiao cleared his throat; they both jumped back from each other as if doing something totally scandalous. Morax shifted about, still snug in Zhongli’s hand. “If you’re done kissing,” Xiao said dryly, “Hu Tao’s back.”
Hu Tao bounced up to them as Childe picked the shopping bags back up, still blushing a dark red, both from the cold and the kiss. “I saw everything.”
Zhongli gave a tiny groan. Hu Tao smirked. “Wait until I tell Guizhong.”
The drive back home was quiet enough, but for some reason, Zhongli couldn’t stop meeting Childe’s blue eyes through the rear view mirror.