Actions

Work Header

Dandelion dilemma

Summary:

Lumine is millions of years old, but she's always said to be too young to drink. Due to this, she's convinced the legal drinking age is not 18, but 18 million.

Hijinks ensue

Notes:

This is really just a dumb thing I wrote around my birthday last November and forgot to post, so here it is

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

I wanted to write a dumb and short genshin thing bc I got a ps4 for my (cool and awesome) birthday so guess what game I will be playing for 3 days straight

Lumine hummed a tune as she walked to the Angel's share with her favourite companion, Paimon. Her friend, Venti (otherwise known as "tone-deaf bard") was going to be hanging out there, and she missed seeing him. Maybe she could even convince Diluc to slide her some dandelion wine..

She was below the drinking age, apparently. 18 million, was it..? It wasn't entirely clear to her. People of Teyvat had a strange way of abbreviating numbers. They only say "Eighteen" as if it were only in the double digits. It was more efficient, though, she'd learned.

Well, Lumine was 17,999,900, which she figured out after learning she was asleep for exactly 500 years. Pretty decent rest. Lately she'd only been getting 7-12 hours, which was very strange. She felt rested but it was as if she'd barely closed her eyes.

While lost in her scattered thoughts, she nearly bumped into the door of the tavern. Paimon laughed as lumine embarrassedly pushed the door open, walking inside. Lo and behold, the bard was already there, waving to her. She waved back as he gestured to the seat beside him.

"What took you so long? I've been waiting forever!" He snickered as she sat down, ignoring Diluc raising an eyebrow. In reality, he'd only gotten there five minutes before her, but Diluc didn't care enough to verbally bring this up.

"Oh, I was making a Paimon sized sword. I learned how to forge and just figured it was the right thing to do." Lumine shrugged.

"Bad guys beware!" Her floating friend cheered, unsheathing the small sword that was so lovingly crafted by the blonde traveller.

Venti nodded "ah, a noble pursuit! What do you say we begin our order?" The archon gestured to the increasingly exhausted Diluc.

"Well, my dear companion, I say we shall!" Lumine copied his tone with a grin. "Two dandelion wines, on me!"

Diluc shook his head. "Nice try, traveller. You know you're not yet of age for alcoholic beverages.."

"Ugh! Your rules are so bent! Just a hundred more years.. Well then, I'll take a fruit punch and a dandelion wine for venti.." She sighed, receiving a raised eyebrow from Venti.

"Of cou- ...A hundred..? The drinking age of mondstadt is merely 18.." Diluc awkwardly laughed

"Yeah, and I'm 17,999,900. A hundred more years." Lumine elaborated, unaware of what the confusing part of her sentence was. "I mean.. How old are YOU?

"....21" Diluc raised an eyebrow at her.

"21 million? Man, everyone I know is older than me.."

"No.. Just 21. You.. Weren't under the impression that the people here were millions of years old, correct..?" Diluc placed the glass he was cleaning down.

When he looked back up, Lumine had stood and walked outside. He looked at her two friends, who gave him a shrug in response.

After a few seconds of silence, they heard a muffled "FUCK, I'M STUPID!!" followed by a punch against the exterior walls, right before the traveler walked back inside.

"Are you really 17 million..?" Paimon looked at her in confusion

"Yeah, I thought that was normal????" Lumine responded, nervously laughing. "Venti, how old are YOU?"

"I'm like 2,600.." Venti told her after a few seconds. He was immediately grabbed by the shoulders.

"oh my god you're like a BABY what?" Lumine shook him and turned to Diluc. "And you're like a newborn! huh??? You're ONLY 21? What's your lifespan!?"

"Like.. 80-90 years-?" Diluc looked around for the best escape route.

"I'm immortal!" Venti cheered.

"Oh my god." Lumine slammed her head onto the table and laid there for what felt like hours. In reality, it was roughly five minutes.

"Um.. Are you alright..?"

Lumine sat back up with a grin. This was bad news for everyone involved. "I'll take TWO dandelion wines, then please!"

Diluc blinked at her. "You didn't just adjust that fast, right-?"

"Actually make that 4! You've been depriving me, young man! Such disrespect.." Lumine shook her head and placed the mora on the table. Venti tapped her shoulder and she spoke again, with a sigh. "Two of them are for Venti, here.." she rolled her eyes as the young archon grinned, hugging her.

Notes:

Hope you enjoyed lol
I may make this a series about Lumine just being a dumbass (probably not though)

Update Apr 5, 2024: I am doing it I am making it a series lol (I have improved in my writing) (not much, though.)

Update Jun 10, 2024: See I finished Pt. 2 but now I'm anxious abt it since it has nothing to do with Pt. 1... I'll upload it soon :/

Series this work belongs to: