Work Text:
"Atlas Chat"
Sharpshooter added Captain, Samurai, Hacker, Chef, Princess, Advisor, RebelAltean, MomSpy, BladeLeader, BladeLeader2, Doctor, DadSpy, TechBuddy, TwinSis, MFEHandler, ILived, DataAnalyst, RebelTechie, MIverson, GGDad, GGMom, MFE1, MFE2, MFE3, and MFE4 to the chat Atlas Chat.
Sharpshooter: Hey, people! What's up?
TechBuddy: The stars?
TwinSis: Aren't the stars all around us? So they are not just up.
Sharpshooter: It's just a figure of speech
Samurai: They don't realize that, Lance
Sharpshooter: I realize that now
MomSpy: Not all of us. I understood what you were saying, kit. Most of us are relaxing as it's near the end of the quintant.
Chef: So, Lance, why are there so many people in this chat?
Sharpshooter: What?
Sharpshooter: Oh no. I didn't mean to add this many people
Sharpshooter: Oh well. Welcome, everyone!
GGDad: What is this?
Hacker: Hi, Dad!
Samurai: Maybe everyone should say their name so we don't get confused
Captain: That's a good idea. I'll start. Shiro
Samurai: Keith
Sharpshooter: Lance
Hacker: Pidge
Chef: Hunk
Princess: Allura
Advisor: Coran
RebelAltean: Romelle
MomSpy: Krolia
BladeLeader: Kolivan
BladeLeader2: Antok
Doctor: Ulaz
DadSpy: Thace
TechBuddy: Regris
TwinSis: Acxa
MFEHandler: Veronica
ILived: Adam
DataAnalyst: Curtis
RebelTechie: Matt
MIverson: Commander Iverson
GGDad: Sam Holt
GGMom: Colleen Holt
MFE1: James Griffin
MFE2: Nadia Rizavi
MFE3: Ina Leifsdottir
MFE4: Ryan Kinkade
GGDad: In that case, hello, Katie
Captain: Now that everyone knows who is who. Lance, why do you have all of us in your contact list?
Sharpshooter: Why do you ask?
Hacker: It's the only way you could have added everyone. You just hit 'import contact list' without double checking who was in there
Sharpshooter: That makes sense
Samurai: Not to be mean, but why do you have Iverson in your contact list?
MIverson: Watch your tone, cadet
Samurai: How do you know what tone I'm using?
MIverson: I know, because you are the reason my left eye is even worse than before
Samurai: That is your own fault...sir
MomSpy: Kit, is this the one who...
Samurai: Yes. He is the one who badmouthed Shiro after the fake news was announced
Captain: Keith, what did you do?
Samurai: ...
MomSpy: He gets his strength from me
Captain: Keith
Samurai: Shiro
ILived: Keith
Samurai: Adam
Captain: What did you do?
Sharpshooter: Does anyone have any popcorn? It's not everyday Keith gets grilled by Adashi
Captain: Keith, this isn't over, but I have a quick question for Lance. What or who is Adashi?
Sharpshooter: It's your given name and Adam's name together. It's quicker than saying Shiro and Adam
ILived: That's fair and it's kind of cute
DataAnalyst: But shouldn't it be Cadashi then?
Sharpshooter: Oops, my bad, but in my defense, you weren't grilling Keith about his time at the Garrison
DataAnalyst: I wasn't for a couple of reasons. 1) I wasn't there and 2) Shiro and Adam were doing fine on their own
Captain: Thank you, Curtis. Anyway, Keith, what did you do?
Samurai: Fine. I punched Iverson in his left eye, you know the one he keeps squinted, and apparently messed it up even more than it already was
Captain: I'm surprised you weren't arrested or something
Samurai: I was expelled from the Garrison. Besides, if they hadn't arrested me for kicking Griffin's ass, then I doubt they'd arrest me for this
MFE1: You didn't kick my ass
Samurai: I would have if Iverson hadn't pulled me off of you
MFE1: I doubt it
Chef: I was there, dude. He may have been small but he was scrappy. You were getting your butt kicked. You were lucky to get the hits in that you did
BladeLeader2: Hits? You hit our kit multiple times?!
DadSpy: growls
Samurai: Take it easy, guys. This was a long time ago
BladeLeader: Be that as it may, kit, it's still distressing to hear
Samurai: I know, Kolivan, but at least, I overcame it
Captain: The circumstances of your expulsion weren't known to me, so Adam, where were you when this went down? You were supposed to be keeping an eye on him for me.
ILived: It was a very dark time in my life, but I did renege on my duty to Keith, so, Keith, I'm sorry
Samurai: It's not your fault, Adam. We both kind of pulled away from each other during that time
Sharpshooter: It's getting really heavy. Let's change some names!
MomSpy: I have one that I'd like to do
*MomSpy changed GGMom's name to BAM*
BAM: What does this mean?
MomSpy: Bad Ass Mom
BAM: And the reason is?
MomSpy: It takes a bad ass to ground a Paladin of Voltron, so from one mom to another, I respect you
Samurai: Pidge, Matt, our moms are bonding, should we be worried?
Hacker: Short answer, yes
RebelTechie: Run for the hills
BAM: I can and will ground all of you
DadSpy: I can see the pack getting along with Colleen
BAM: Don't think I won't ground you too!
Samurai: *snickers* I'd pay to see that!
GGDad: Colleen, dear one, the Blades are a lot older than we are
BAM: What?
Doctor: Galra reach the age of maturity at 200 deca-phoebes-old, and Kolivan, Antok, Krolia, Thace, and myself are past this age. Regris, Acxa, and Keith are not
BAM: So, I can still ground those three. Good to know
*Sharpshooter has changed Princess's name to Queen*
Queen: Thank you, Lance
Sharpshooter: You are quite welcome
*Sharpshooter has changed Chef's name to SpaceGordonRamsey*
SpaceGordonRamsey: Lance, why?
Sharpshooter: Cuz it fits. I mean you basically took over a little café in the Space Mall after being taken prisoner and made the most awesome food all while yelling at the owner
Captain: What?
MFEHandler: What?
DataAnalyst: What?
ILived: What?
Queen: What?
Advisor: What?
RebelAltean: What?
RebelTechie: What?
MomSpy: What?
TwinSis: What?
BladeLeader: What?
BladeLeader2: What?
DadSpy: What?
Doctor: What?
TechBuddy: What?
MIverson: What?
GGDad: What?
BAM: What?
MFE3: What?
MFE4: What?
MFE2: That sounds awesome!
MFE1: @MFE2!
Sharpshooter: Oh, those names won't do
MFE1: Why not?
Sharpshooter: Because they are too close to each other
MFE1: So are two of the Galra!
Samurai: They are the Blades of Marmora, not just some Galra! I will not allow you of all people to insult them!
BladeLeader: Stand down, kit. It is all right.
DadSpy: We're used to it
Samurai: Just because you are used to it doesn't make it okay
Captain: Keith's right
ILived: Can't believe you said that
Captain: But I'm the one who continuously told Keith that when he was at the Garrison
MomSpy: You quoted Shiro?
Samurai: Yeah. I guess there was something that finally stuck
Captain: Patience yields focus
Samurai: Okay, two things
*Sharpshooter has changed MFE1's name to MFELeader*
*Sharpshooter has changed MFE2's name to EnergeticAF*
*Sharpshooter has changed MFE3's name to BlondeOne*
*Sharpshooter has changed MFE4's name to CameraGuy*
*Samurai has changed BloneOne's name to Strategist*
Strategist: Thank you
Samurai: Lance, that was mean
Sharpshooter: I didn't know what to put
MFEHandler: I didn't know you got along with any of the MFEs, Keith
Samurai: Griffin, Ina, and I were in classes together before the Garrison. I get along with Ina, Nadia, and Ryan, just not Griffin
*Samurai has changed MFELeader's name to AHLeader*
AHLeader: ?
Samurai: Ass Hole Leader
Sharpshooter: Lmao
Hacker: Lmao
SpaceGordonRamsey: Lmao
MomSpy: Snort
BladeLeader: Krolia!
MomSpy: During our time in the Quantum Abyss, I saw how he treated my kit, so I found his name change fitting
DataAnalyst: Anyway, didn't Keith and James get along while defending Earth? What happened?
Samurai: I don't know what his excuse is, but I was willing to put the past behind me. I figured that he had matured in the five years we hadn't interacted.
AHLeader: I don't have a reason. His face just makes me want to punch it.
Captain: Why can't you two get along?
Samurai: It's not my fault he opens his mouth and dumbassery falls out.
Sharpshooter: I really need to make a smaller chat
Fin