Work Text:
Dazai really thought it was over.
All those days which one is supposed to spend with their lover, marking varying importance for each day. For quite a while, he was only aware of the existence of such a thing called 'Valentine's Day'. Traditionally, it was a day where the girls brought chocolate for the boys; obligatory chocolate, friendship chocolate, or actually confession chocolates and such. It could be either of them.
This was the usual scenario in Japan at least. But then, Dazai found out about the very questionable importance of the week leading up to Valentine's Day. Apparently, starting February seventh, each day was labelled as something. For example, 'Rose Day' or 'Promise Day'. It was probably a new concept, but it sounded funny, so Dazai had convinced his partner to celebrate the whole week with him. They had actually gone half-way to being all out for every single day.
But all of that was over in February, wasn't it? That week for lovers was supposed to end with Valentine's Day, on February 14. And it has already been a month since then, so wasn't all of that already done and moved on from?
Apparently not.
Today, Dazai learned a very interesting piece of information at work. From the Agency's resident doctor, nonetheless. He was called to the infirmary for one of the mandatory regular check-ups, his turn being after a few others. He usually disliked the idea of having to get a check-up. It was invasive and annoying and uncomfortable; even if the doctor was Yosano-sensei, someone he knew well enough.
Nevertheless, after his check-up was finished today, Yosano brought up something he had no idea about. Putting her surgical instruments aside, she took off her glasses, "A couple of us are going to go grab a few drinks after work today. But you must have plans already, right?"
Dazai tilted his head in confusion, "No? Why would I have plans?"
To that, Yosano spared him an incredulous look, "Because you're one of those bastards who's actually in a relationship?!"
The detective yelped, "What does that have to do with anything, Sensei-!!"
Folding her arms, Yosano stared at him with raised eyebrows, "Heh? What's this? Don't tell me you don't know what today is?"
"I... Don't?" This was accompanied by another tilt of his head for extra emphasis on his confusion.
The doctor rolled her eyes, "It's White Day, of course!"
As an exaggerated reaction, Dazai's jaw dropped comically, "Huh? What's that now?"
Rolling her eyes some more and letting out exasperated sighs, Yosano finally took to explaining exactly what 'White Day' was. So, Valentine's Day, right? Exactly a month after that, March 14 was apparently labelled as White Day. As tradition goes, the boys who received chocolates back in February, be it any of the three kinds; it was their day to return the favour and bring chocolates for the very girls from whom they received their chocolate from.
So, the girls brought chocolates for the guys on Valentine's Day; and the boys returned the favour and brought chocolates for the girls on White Day. That was basically it. But for other couples and such, it was probably just another day to put up a disgusting display of being in love, and going on a fancy date or something like that.
Dazai couldn't help but snort, once the explanation was over, "There's a day like that now? What, are there days for literally everything at this point?"
Yosano chuckled, sitting across him, "Was there a doubt? Considering how 'Teddy Day' is a genuine thing?"
This just made the two of them laugh some more. Really, was there even a need for dedicating a day for the purchase of a very specific toy? Teddy bears? The conspiracy theories had a point, really. All these days such as Valentine's Day, White Day and all the seven days of Valentine's Week; weren't they just a marketing ploy for selling specific items to cater to the needs of 'people in love' who wanted to celebrate these made up days?
It was ingenious, in a way.
But despite being aware of such conspiracies, and believing in them to a large extent, Dazai couldn't help but get caught up in the very web laid out by such notions of romance, and specific days to show love, and what not. Besides, it was a good enough reason to buy chocolate for his lover and skip out on work.
It was definitely a win in Dazai's book.
Hence, by the time lunch time rolled around, it was safe to assume that Dazai had already skipped out on work. In fact, he had already gotten a box of chocolates and was currently on his way to the Port Mafia headquarters, obviously to go meet his partner.
Within minutes, he had managed to sneak into the building, and was standing right in front of the Executives' personal office. His arms overflowing with bags of chocolate, he was absolutely ready to barge in. Because Dazai was a shameless guy who didn't believe in knocking on closed doors, he simply pushed it open and waltzed in, giving no prior warning to the person on the other side of the door.
Nakahara Chuuya, the infamous Port Mafia executive was in his office, just as expected. His coat thrown over another chair, his fingers fiddling with a pen and his eyes trained on the paperwork in front of him, he was most definitely not expecting anyone to just barge in. He was a scary mafia executive, you know? People don't just barge into his personal space. He's very terrifying, damn it!
But well, there were exceptions to everything.
Dazai went ahead to dump all the bags in his arms upon the desk, right on top of the paperwork, earning a indignant squawk from the mafioso. Ignoring that as usual, he waved his hands around in greeting, "Chuuya~ Did you miss me?"
For a few seconds, the executive just stared at the intruder in his office. Then, obviously resigning to his fate, he gathered all the paper bags on his desk before organising them neatly on the side of his paperwork, "What the fuck do you want?"
The detective huffed as he took a seat across the other, "Is that how you greet your old friend who has come such a long way to visit you?!"
With an infuriated snort, "I'd rather you don't come to visit at all, damn it!"
Very dramatically, Dazai gasped, "Chuuya, how could you! I thought you loved me!"
"I do love you, but not during work hours, oi! Go away and let me finish my work already."
Leaning ahead to rest his arms on the desk, Dazai insisted, "Take a lunch break. It's time, isn't it?"
This earned another sigh from the other. But then after glaring at his watch for a few seconds, he finally relented, considering it really was time for lunch. He supposed he could put away his papers just for a bit; only while that annoying asshole was here in his office, stinking up his personal space.
Chuuya finally put away all that pesky paperwork, "Jeez, fine. I'll take my fucking break. What do you want, you social misfit?"
Beckoning at the bags of chocolate, Dazai grinned, "I got you something."
Of course, it was only natural that such a strange gesture earned him highly suspicious looks from his partner. Eyes still glaring at the other, gaze brimming with distrust, Chuuya reached out his hands to bring the bags closer to him, before peeking in. Within seconds, he had lifted out the box of chocolates and opened it.
Sniffing it just a little (it could be poisoned, okay?), Chuuya declared incredulously, "It's chocolates."
His rival snorted immediately, "Yeah, no shit. I mean, of course it's chocolates, silly chibi~"
The mafioso stared at the cute little confectionary in front of him for a few more seconds before popping one of them into his mouth. Having enjoyed the taste properly, and having made sure it wasn't poisoned, he popped another piece into his partner's mouth as well.
Dazai hummed as he chewed on the chocolate, "It tastes good."
Chuuya laughed softly, "Right? I'm surprised that you bought chocolates that don't taste like shit."
A whine from the other, "I have very good taste in chocolates, what do you mean!"
"Idiot, you don't even prefer chocolates."
"That's true, but I know what Chuuya likes, which means I have good taste in them."
A laugh bubbled out of the mafioso, "Fair enough, I guess. Thanks for the chocolates? Any reason you had to come to my office and bring me sweets out of nowhere?"
Dazai gasped dramatically once again, "Don't tell me Chuuya doesn't know what today is?!"
The other stared at him, "Huh? Is it something today?"
Another gasp, this one clearly emanating wrongly placed pity, "But, of course! It's White Day today! How can you just not know about this?!"
Leaning back and arms folded, Chuuya stared at his partner, "What the fuck is that?"
Trying his very best to hold in his laughter, Dazai graciously explained the whole thing about the importance of White Day in a single breath. He then finished up on his tirade with a simple, "I figured I should be a good owner and get my dog some chocolates too, you know?"
Ignoring that very last part, Chuuya snorted, "So, let me understand this perfectly. You're getting be chocolates on White Day because I got you chocolates during Valentine's Week?"
The detective merely shrugged, "That is the purpose of today. But, can't I just get my dog treats once in a while if I feel like it?!"
As expected, Chuuya threw a ball of crumpled paper at him, "I'm not your dog, asshole. But well, I'm not complaining. I like chocolates."
"Of course. That's why I got you them, ne?" Dazai smiled that very scary angelic smile of his, all whilst dodging the flying paper balls that were steadily coming at him.
Chuuya huffed in annoyance just once before remaining quiet for a few minutes. Very rudely ignoring his husband, he once gathered a bunch of papers, picking up his pen to scribble (sign?) on them quickly. Before the other could complain, however, he finished up on his apparently very urgent work, and successfully put it away.
Standing up, he extended a hand to his partner, "I still have an hour for my break. Wanna go get lunch?"
Dazai was quick to grab the offered hand, entangling their fingers immediately, "Yes, please. Does Chuuya want to go someplace fancy?"
The mafioso hummed as he gathered his coat with his spare hand, "Maybe we can go for a candlelight dinner or something. Let's just get ramen for lunch?"
The other blinked at him, "A candlelight dinner? That's a thing? I thought it just happened in movies!"
Chuuya rolled his eyes at him, "Of course it's a real thing, idiot. You've never been to a candlelight dinner?"
"No? Who would I go with! Has Chuuya gone to a candlelight dinner without me?!"
"No, of course not, dumbass."
Dazai insisted, suddenly very offended, "Don't lie! You definitely went to a candlelight dinner without me! That's so, so mean, Chuuya! How could you-"
Chuuya snorted once, before reaching his hand up to pat the other's head. Cutting him off, he laughed, "Don't be stupid. Who would I go to a candlelight dinner with? That's a thing for lovers, you know?"
Dazai spoke mournfully, "I knew it. Chuuya had a girlfriend all along. Well, at least I got you White Day chocolates before she did. That's a win for me!"
As expected, this time, the mafioso smacked him in the arm, "Don't joke around about such a thing, oi. I don't have a fucking girlfriend."
The other grinned, his arm wrapping around his partner's shoulders, "I'm kidding~ Sorry, sorry. I didn't mean that. Anyway, it's fine, isn't it? We'll just have to go to such a dinner ourselves and see what it's all about."
Chuuya rolled his eyes, a fond smile tugging at his lips, clearly betraying his true emotions. Since it was unnecessary to try to put up a front, he just got on his tiptoes (geh, so annoying) to press a kiss to his partner's cheek, "It's settled then."
On their way out of Chuuya's office, right as they were about to open the door, they heard a knock. It was followed by a very familiar voice speaking out clearly, "Chuuya-san? Can I come in?"
Sighing to himself, the executive opened the door himself, "Higuchi-kun. I was just leaving for lunch, so can this wait?"
The blonde's eyes went to the former executive standing beside her current superior immediately, fortunately missing their still intertwined hands. Trying her best to ignore this unexpected situation, she nodded at her boss, "Oh, of course! I just needed a sign, it's nothing urgent..."
It took her a whole of five seconds for her curiosity to win over. She turned to the former mafioso, "Ah, Dazai-san... What are you doing here? Is there, um, some joint mission today?"
Dazai waved his spare hand, "Ah, no! Today is White Day, you know? I just came to bring Chuuya chocolates!"
Higuchi yelped immediately, "That's today?! I completely forgot it was White Day! I have to... Wait. Huh? Why are you bringing Chuuya-san chocolates?"
The detective nodded sagely, "To return the favour, of course. He was kind enough to give me chocolates for Valentine's Day. Even though it's his duty to, considering he's my dog and-"
He was cut off by a kick to his legs, by none other than said 'dog' of his. Rolling his eyes at his very annoying partner, Chuuya turned to face his subordinate, "That aside, you actually know what White Day is?"
The woman nodded vigorously, "Of course! I should have brought chocolates for Senpai, but-"
This time, it was her turn to get off. It was Dazai who spoke, "Higuchi-kun~ You already gave chocolates for Valentine's Day, did you not? It's your turn to receive them this time then."
Fiddling with her gun at her waist in nervousness, Higuchi spoke, "But um... I can't really..."
Dazai stepped aside, tugging his partner along by their joined hands, "Just give it a thought. We'll be off to have lunch now, okay~?"
Before the pair could make their much sought-after leave, they were stopped once again, albeit briefly. Her gaze finally resting upon a pair of hands with intertwined fingers, Higuchi gaped at the duo in front of her, "Um, Chuuya-san? You're going to have lunch with Dazai-san? And, the two of you got each other chocolate on Valentine's Day and White Day..."
Dazai beamed cheerfully in response, shamelessly sprouting bullshit, "It's rivalry chocolates, of course! What else would it be?"
Needless to say, he got another smack to his arm. Chuuya rolled his eyes, "Don't listen to this idiot. He's being an asshole as usual."
Higuchi spoke, her voice tinged with nervousness, "So then, the lunch..."
The executive snorted, "It's a just a normal date. And the chocolates are normal Valentine's chocolates too."
His subordinate yelped, "Doesn't that mean you two are going out, then?!"
Dazai waved his hands in refusal, "Eh?! I would never go out with such a guy who wears such tacky hats! How can you think so poorly of my romantic tastes, Higuchi-kun?"
Next to him, Chuuya snorted some more, "Married. We are literally married. Don't listen to his bullshit, Higuchi. He's just an idiot."
The blonde's jaw dropped, "M- Married?! You two?!"
The other mafioso nodded, pulling his partner along properly now, "Yep~ Anyway, we'll be off to lunch, then. Leave the papers on my desk, will you? Thanks!"
As they disappeared into the elevator, Dazai called out to the woman too, "Bye, Higuchi-kun~"
As the elevator door shut in front of them, neither of them said anything. The most devastating duo in all of Yokohama, the infamous Double Black, just stood in the lift, their hands still joined for some reason. Neither of them said anything for a while.
Then, Chuuya sighed in exaggerated annoyance, "You are such a bastard. This is why nobody likes you."
His partner merely hummed, "Lies. Chuuya says that, but he loves me."
Sighing some more, as if he was truly in very deep emotional distress, Chuuya reached up his hand to poke the other's cheek, "But I love you. My cursed misfortune, damn it."
Grinning and removing his partner's hat, Dazai dropped a kiss to red hair, "I love Chuuya too. Happy White Day, Slug~"
Chuuya rolled his eyes some more, but that was okay because his expression betrayed immense fondness, "Yeah, yeah. Happy White Day or whatever."