Chapter Text
Ed swore to himself that he wouldn’t be swayed by Stede should he ever see the man again. He knew that Stede had been following behind them; could see them in the spyglass off in the distance. Ed kept the Sails high and tried to outpace them, tried to keep them in the distance, but the boat was fast. He had no idea where Stede managed to get a boat that good, probably just bought it with all of his money. Why was he even coming back? The man made it clear, he didn’t want Ed. He didn’t want the person he was when he was Blackbeard, menace of the seas. And stripped of all that, soul and face bared and at his most vulnerable (possibly ever) Stede had looked at him and deemed him unworthy anyway. What had been the point of it all? Why had Ed let himself hope that he would ever be able to get out. His only escape was death, he knew that.
“Captain, they’re gaining on us.” Ed refused to look at Izzy, standing beside him and stating the obvious. Ed spent one minute considering throwing him off the side of the boat as he had done Lucius, but then decided against it. Who else would keep this shit show running on the days he couldn’t drag himself out of the now dark and empty captains quarters. It took less than a day to regret throwing most of Stedes things away. He thought it would start the healing process. Instead it just made the room feel as empty as he felt inside. He longed to feel something again. Even if it was the pain of a sword. Even if it was the heat and blossoming pain of a gunshot. Ed took a deep breath, looking at that dot on the horizon, and decided he might as well get this over with. It wouldn’t get easier.
“Stop the ship.”
“Captain?” Izzy all but growled. Ed turned to him and grabbed him by the throat. Izzy only seemed to listen if he was being threatened. It was the only language the man understood. When that had happened was beyond Ed, but he didn’t care at this point. He tried very hard not to care about anything anymore.
“Stop the fucking ship. I want to end this.” Izzy smiled, and was obviously happy at the thought of bloodshed, of ending Stede Bonnet once and for all. But in all honesty, Ed didn’t know what he wanted to do. He tried very hard not to think about it.
They dropped anchor and came to a stand still. The wind blew his hair out of his face as Stedes' boat slowly became more than just a dot on the horizon.
“What are they doing Capt?” Buttons asked, looking at the boat. Stede took a deep breath and let it out in a shaky huff.
“It looks like they've stopped.”
“Do you think that's a good sign?” Oluwande said from behind him. Stede shrugged.
“I don’t know Olu. I certainly hope so.”
Ed watched with not much interest and only a small pang of guilt as he watched the crew of Stedes new ship drop a plank between the two ships. No one moved, swords weren’t drawn. Izzy stood by the mast and watched, probably judging Ed and finding him wanting. They just stood on opposite ships and stared at each other.
But then Stede stepped onto the plank and walked across, his crew following behind warily. And Ed? After so many weeks of being strong for his crew, after pretending to be someone he hadn’t been in years, after hardening his heart? It was all for nothing. He fell to his knees, letting himself be distracted momentarily by the sharp pain that shot threw his leg from his bad leg. The brace did nothing against the hard wood of the deck. It wasn’t a distraction for nearly long enough. He was so tired. So tired of running.
He just wanted it to be over.
There was a noise coming from the deck, a sort of keening sound. It took a second for Ed to realize it was coming from his own throat. And that just made it all the worse didn’t it? He was coming undone, spilling all over the deck in front of everyone. He covered his mouth with his hand and tried to stifle the sobs, but it was no use. He just leaned forward and curled up into a ball, ignoring the ache in his chest. He couldn’t look at Stede for a second longer, not when it felt like the man was burning him alive with his simple presence. Vaguely Ed heard the sound of Izzy’s boots stomping across the deck.
“Bonnet you have some fucking nerve. I may have failed to kill you before, but I won't…”
The next thing Ed heard was a heavy thud. He looked up, terrified that it had been Stede falling, Izzy finally getting his wish and cutting him down. Instead he saw Izzy splayed out on the deck, his nose bloodied, his sword beside him. A boot kicked it far out of Izzy’s reach, and then he saw Stede, far different than he had ever seen him. Hands fisted in Izzys vest, pulling him up till he was close enough for their noses to touch, he spoke in what was almost a growl.
“That was for the Navy.” One hand let go of Izzy just to swing back and crash into his face.
“And that’s for trying to kill me. Twat.” Stede let him go and Ed found himself backing up, almost afraid for a moment. But Stede, hand bloodied from Izzy’s face, just knelt down beside him and cupped his cheek. The smell of iron was sharp, blood warm even through all the grease on his face.
“Darling.” He said, a whisper, his voice back to the calm lilt he always spoke in. The one he used to read stories to the crew, that he used to calm Ed down at his worst moments of spiraling panic. Ed could barely see him through the tears in his eyes.
“I gather we have much to catch up on, don’t we dear? I’ve traveled so far to find you.”
“Fuck off.” Ed whispered, his last point of resistance melting away.
“No. I don’t think I will.” Stede said, gently wiping away the tears, “Will you listen to me darling?”
Ed couldn’t help but nod. Within his chest he could feel his heart beating, and it hurt. But it was such a good pain. And if he got burned by the light that was this man before him, so be it.