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In addition.
Of all the things she couldn’t say to truly express the all feelings drowning her entire being, then that one phrase at least depicted the overwhelming magnitude of them.
Everything just kept adding up.
The cold and furious raindrops soaking into her tattered clothes, stinging her fresh cuts. Plus the pattering footsteps of her friends as they blindly followed behind her and can’t forget the pressure on her hand due to it being held like it was a lifeline.
Along with just about everything else. It was all collimating into a fog that forced her to experience everything at once but see nothing at all.
Luz was so focused on everything happening in the world as well as her rushing mind that it was only by muscle memory that the group was going in any direction with certainty. Even in the dark of night coupled with the waterfall of rain limiting visibility, she always knew her way back…home.
Right, she was back. She was back.
Back…but,
A stiff feeling crawled up her body as tan skin turned grey…a dozen eyes of blue stared into her very soul….it was getting harder to keep going, even by working together they couldn’t beat him….a sickening splat resounded through the atrium, he was gone just like that, were they next…the vines felt like they would tear her limbs off her body but it would be worth it, it had to be….’ I’m sorry, not this time.’
She was back in the Human Realm, but at what cost.
Something broke through the fog, just for a second and not enough to dispel it completely. Her foot had bumped against something hard and when she allowed her eyes to focus she found herself looking at a structure that had begun to wane from her memory.
It was her house.
She was back.
The stairs still creaked when walked upon, the paint was still flaking off the wooden deck, the door was still…
T-the door was
The door had closed, been torn to shreds to be more accurate. Her one chance of having it all was broken from the room that housed it being shifted by the wave of a hand. They made it look so easy, like it was a game.
So was she always meant to lose? To end up back here looking at a plain, ordinary door? Maybe.
Luz could somewhat sense the looks aimed at her, wondering why she hesitated. They were looking towards her for guidance, because at this point who else could fill the role.
Though her hand felt then was the best time to mimic a hundred-pound weight, she managed to will it up to the door and knock with enough force for it to be heard.
How could such a simple action tire her so much? Was it the fact that she didn’t have much energy left in the first place, or was it that with every excruciatingly loud step that could be heard from inside the house, the fog had slowly crept back to surround her?
Or was it because when that normal damned door was finally open it cemented one of the many raging thoughts she prayed were fiction.
“Hey mom, I’m back.”
Even the tight hug from her mother did little to stop her exhaustion from growing. If anything, the action only caused it to grow and the warmth from it made her skin crawl. She just wanted to get away.
It all sped by her at the speed of light, so fast it didn’t fully register in her mind, and yet her body managed to keep up. Being guided into the house, being sat on the floor of her living room, having towels placed on her shoulders to stave off the cold, and having her cuts disinfected and covered with gauze. It was all just happening to her even though she wasn’t really there.
No, she wasn’t there. She was still in the portal room, next to the machine she had worked so hard for but couldn’t quite grasp. And then it was right there. Her friends were right there. Her family was right there. They were all right there, waiting on her to pull together the pieces.
But then he was there. Belos-Philip-whatever, he was always right there hiding in plain sight waiting to take them all away from her. And yet for as close as he came, he wasn’t the one to hammer the final nail in the coffin, of which he would need his own now.
No, the person to throw all of her hopes and fleeting wishes back in her face was a being made of the stars and sky itself and so exterminated the sources of all their problems with ease.
And a playful smile on their face.
To think that’s all it took. Not countless hours of research, glyph experimentation, and training. But simply laughing the issue away with a little cosmic power as a boost.
Just that simple, and when thought about it that way, she could understand why the Collector scared her so much. Because they unknowingly proved a fear that has been keeping Luz up for nights on end and made her doubt every move she has made.
Taking Hunter’s place, helping Amity with the problems that arose from her family, finding the time pools with Lilith, making that promise to her mom, helping King look into his past, trying to cure Eda’s curse, stopping Willow from being bullied, trying to help Gus prove his worth…being selfish enough to choose to stay.
These instances only acted as evidence in proving that no matter what she did to make up for past mistakes, no matter who she tried to help, no what good intentions she thought she had, it was all pointless. Because in the end, she always made things worse.
And the fact that she did everything humanly possible to ignore this truth was…well
Laughable.
Amity was used to silence, she grew up with it after all. It rooted itself in the cavernous hall of her family’s manor. It echoed through her mind as she failed to drift off to sleep. It was what she wished for in the moments when her mother was anything but.
Silence was like a frenemy to the young witch, never being outright helpful but could soothe her aching soul now and then.
Though when a certain human came barreling into her life, the silence was thrown to the wayside, in exchange for loud laughter and exciting interactions, and a feeling of being whole. It was nice, exhilarating even and it was what she explicitly wanted for once.
But this…situation they were in at the moment definitely wasn’t what she wanted, what any of them wanted.
Sure they had all wanted to visit the human Realm for various reasons, but none of them wanted their first trip to be like this.
Sitting on the floor of their human friend’s living room in near silence while wrapped in multiple towels with hot soup in their hands or kept nearby.
Amity could only describe the room as near silent as Luz’s m- Camila was doing her best to gently coax answers out of them with varying results. For the most part, all she would get in response from the teens were short, tense sentences. She eventually realized she wouldn’t get much at the moment and so left them to rest while she went upstairs with Vee.
They all had at least tried to work with her, with the exceptions being Hunter who would only eye her nervously, and Luz who hadn’t said a word since the group first arrived.
And that was what worried Amity most among the long list of worries she had due to the events of that day.
She knew Luz and so knew that her girlfriend was not one to stay quiet for an extended period unless she was attempting to compartmentalize her emotions to not bother anyone else with them. And since that was the case, she also knew that it was impossible for her to stay silent forever, but that meant her feelings would come out in less than healthy ways.
The Bonesbourgh brawl was one of the most prevalent examples. Though that would likely come in a distant second after what would occur in that room.
Amity was just about to ask Luz if she wanted to talk when the human suddenly stood up, knocking over her bowl that had been left untouched, and took very wobbly steps towards the center of the room.
“Luz? Where are you going?” Gus was the first one to question their friend, as he eyed her from his spot nestled next to Hunter and Willow.
“Yeah Luz if you need anything, why don’t you let us get it. Your legs seem too shaky for you to be walking right now.” Now Willow was voicing her concern and looked to be getting up to go to Luz, but was stopped by Hunter as he gripped tightly on her vest for some reason.
Of course, nothing and no one stopped Amity from standing and walking up to her partner so she could be there for her like she had before.
“Willow is right, let’s sit back down for now and maybe close our eyes for a little bit.” She spoke calmly, doing her best to reassure Luz that despite everything that had happened, things would okay for at least that moment in time. All she wanted to do was help.
So why was it when she gently placed her hand on Luz’s shoulder did things go so wrong.
“Pff..”
It started small, an amused snort so quiet it sounded like a staccato release of air through her nose. But then it grew, and the snort became more pronounced and built in frequency, eventually becoming a string of light chuckles.
“Pff..pff..heh.Heheh”
“Uh, Luz?”
The chuckling grew in-depth, pushing to a full-on laugh. And she couldn’t stop, and as the seconds past it only continued with intensity.
Luz dared to turn back at her friends, maybe with a plea for help on her face but who could tell with the uncomfortable smile etched on her features.
All she could see were looks of deep concern fear. Gus had scuttled back further against the couch, Willow was now positioned behind Hunter who was standing up with his gloved hand clenched tight. And Amity, dear Titan the way she had taken tentative steps back would have hurt Luz a lot more if not for the state she was in.
Though to be fair, none of them could be fully blamed for their reactions as instead of the kind, warm look they had grown accustomed to, all they saw were eyes full of panic and terror as a peal of manic laughter emanated from her mouth
But they couldn’t just leave her to deal with whatever was happening on her own, right. They could help, they had to. They just need to figure out why this was happening and what better way to know than to ask
“What’s so funny Luz?”
If this situation was a fire then that question would be gasoline as the laughter grew tenfold to the jaw hurting, side-splitting variety with her legs no longer able to hold her up. It was akin to the way movies depict a homicidal maniacs when they are swept away in their evil monologue.
The fearful energy from the rest of the group shot through the roof as they only seemed to continue to make things worse. Amity turned back to the others in hope that any of them had an idea.
“Does anyone know why this is happening and how to stop it?!”
“Clearly not if we made things this bad!” Hunter countered.
“Gee thanks for pointing that out!”
“Well for all we know the Collector’s magic might have done something to her”
The laughter turned breathless for a minute when the boy soldier said that. Tears were welling up in her eyes from the sheer magnitude of laughter rumbling through her.
“Stop, don’t say things like that! It is not helpful and clearly affects her.” Willow chastised.
“Sorry Captain….”
“Guys, screaming and yelling at each other isn’t helping either. I think loud noises make whatever is happening worse too.” Gus interjected.
Now that he pointed that out, they all noticed how Luz’s laughing did grow a little like it feed off the energy they put out.
With that in mind, they all quiet down and tried to whisper talk any ideas to each other. Though they were interrupted by a flurry of footsteps from the story above their heads. Soon the sound of steps descended the stairs and Camila revealed herself as she turned around the corner with her arms full.
She didn’t bother to question the teens on what had happened, just made a beeline straight to her daughter while acting as a barrier between them. She stopped a few feet away from Luz’s curled-up form and lowered herself down on her knees while putting the objects in her grasp to the side.
“Luz, mi hija, can you hear me?”
Her daughter’s locked onto hers before trying to look anywhere else, never sticking to one spot. The laughter had yet to die down.
While it was clear that she was very overwhelmed, Camila was somewhat relieved that she could get through to her.
“Okay, that’s good cariño. I just want you to listen to the sound of my voice alright?” She spoke so softly that the others in the room had to strain their ears a little to hear her.
Luz’s eye flickered back towards her mom, holding her gaze for a second longer this time.
“So, earlier this week I was able to take an extended break from the clinic. It had been a long morning so I decided to spend my time outside on a walk. The park nearby had a garden installed. Isn’t that interesting Luz.”
‘….A garden?’
“There were the most beautiful orange orchids and marigolds that were planted along the pathway I walked on. I think the flower section was color-coded because when I stood in a certain spot I could see the entire rainbow.”
Luz’s mind couldn’t but conjecture up an image of what the flowers must have looked like. It was so pretty that all the other images and memories looked sort of faded by comparison.
“And the smell Luz, it was so sweet but with the right mix of earthy tones that I took in a breath. It was like I was standing in a sprawling field rather than in the middle of the town.”
Yeah, it must have smelled nice if it was able to cover the weird scents that occasionally permeated the air in town. So nice in fact that she could practically smell it now and so breathed deeply to take it all in. As she released, the faux mirth that poisoned her mind lessened bringing her roars back down to chuckles.
Unbeknownst to her, Camila had discreetly grabbed a candle from the pile and lit it to the slight fascination of the witches still watching the scene unfold.
“It was so nice that I even decided to lay down in a patch of grass. The sun had dried the morning dew so it did not feel damp but it wasn’t too dry either. It was perfect to lay and relax in.”
Now that Luz thought about it, having somewhere soft to lay her head would feel good right now. Especially with the pounding in her skull starting to become more noticeable.
“It was so peaceful too. I was lucky enough to be the only one there so all that could hear were the birds chirping. I think there might have been a nest in the bush I was near.”
Birds. Luz liked birds, they made her feel like she could fly and guided her in her sleep. She really needed that help now. She wanted it so much that it almost hurt.
“I was thinking the next time I got the chance to go to that park again, I could bring some lunch and turn it into a picnic. Maybe if now we can all go together and I can bring your favorite, my world-famous tostones.”
Just the thought of those fried plantains was enough to trick Luz’s tastebuds into tasting phantom fried plantains. There were very few foods that she loved more for the main reason that she always got to make them with her Mami. Those times in the kitchen were always great memories shared between the two of them.
She could almost see one of those times playing out in front of her with her mom passing over a plantain to be sliced.
“And if it gets a little chilly then we can use a blanket to keep warm as we watch the sunset.” The laughing was all but extinct now but just to be sure, Camila unfolded the weighted blanket she brought from upstairs and gently laid it on her daughter’s still form.
All Luz could feel was a comforting pressure falling over her body while she continued to cook with her mom in her dreamscape kitchen as the sunset in the background. Soon the two humans were joined by a familiar group of witches carrying grocery bags and they all prepared for a family picnic together.
It was all she ever wanted.
Camila look down at her daughter as she drifted off to sleep, which made sense as these types of episodes tended to tire her out. It would take a little while before she was lulled into a deep sleep and so she had to wait to move her.
And since she had time to kill that means she had time to explain some things to others, and perhaps get some answers from them.
Camila turned to the teens who were all staring at their sleeping friend, worry radiated off from each one of them in waves. She cleared her throat to gain their attention.
“Listen, I know what you just witnessed might have been a little scary to see but I need you to know that what Luz just went through was a natural, though unique response and something outside of her control. So if you are truly her friends I would hope that you wouldn’t use this against her.”
The witch flinched at her last words as if they were physically hurt by the mere implication that they would mock or even bully Luz because of what they just saw. If anything, they would put the person stupid enough to do such a thing six feet under. But then again, they all could understand where the mother was coming from.
And so instead of acting offended, they all took the words to heart and continued the conversation.
“Trust us Ms. Noceda, we would never do anything like that,” Willow spoke with such diction in her voice, like her words would be set in stone.
“She’s right. We all care about Luz too much.” Gus added.
“Yeah. She means something to m-us! All of us.” So what if he was starting to see her less as an annoyance and more as a friend, that didn’t matter right then and there.
Amity chose to ignore Hunter’s fumbling in favor of staying on track. “All we want to know is what happened because we want to be able to help her.” She wanted to be able to help. To not feel so useless if this situation ever arose again.
Camila scanned their faces and when no signs of deceit appeared, she left out a tired sigh and began her explanation.
“I’m not quite sure of the terminology you all use on the er…Isles was it?” They all nodded in affirmation. “Well, to put it simply, Luz was born with a condition that, among many things like being unable to stay still or control volume, can cause her to become overwhelmed by stimuli easier than those without the conditions. The what that triggers feeling overwhelmed differs between people but for Luz, it is usually loud sounds, being surrounded by others, and most importantly stressful situations.”
‘Stressful situations huh?’ All the teens thought in sync as what they just went through fit the bill perfectly.
As they looked back on their memories with Luz, they could remember moments where this condition’s symptoms were put on display, but none of them could recall any laughter coupled with it.
Camila could see that question forming on their faces and so answered before it was asked aloud. “She usually only becomes stressed enough to shut down or run away from what’s stressing her. It has been so long since it has gotten this bad that I almost missed the signs, but that is my fault alone.”
Well, they didn’t notice either and even if they didn’t understand completely what Luz was going through, they should have been able to see that something was wrong. But luckily they did now and would not just sit on the sidelines next time.
“Still, just because I was able to handle it this time, that doesn’t mean it will be the last time. As I said, this was the worse it has gotten in years which means whatever caused it will continue to trigger these episodes unless I know what I need to do to prevent them.”
…Oh, so that would mean…
The still conscious children grew uneasy at the aspect of reliving all of that. Could you blame them?
“You do not have to tell me everything as I am sure it was just as hard for the rest of you. I just need to know enough so that I can be aware of anything that may be a trigger. This is for Luz’s health and maybe even your own so may you please help by telling me what happened.”
The unease was still prevalent in each one of them, but something far stronger was dominating it.
The love they had for Luz.
With that love giving her a boost of courage, Amity spoke up. “We aren’t too sure about some of it because we weren’t there, but I think I know the beginning well enough.”
And so, they talked. What Camila thought would last minutes at most turned to hours. The more they spoke of their experiences, the more her heart ached for the bundle of traumatized children she invited into her home.
And the more not so kid-friendly words she had to say to a variety of adult figures of the Boiling Isles. Yeah, when the group manages to get a working portal, quite a few Isles citizens were definitely in for a bad time.