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“I’m sorry.” He said, not for the first time or the tenth.
“There you go again.” She sighed. Not in annoyance, but more wishfully, as if his concerns didn’t reach her. As if the sharp skin the Drains had given her were protection even from heavy emotions “What are you sorry for, this time?”
Evan had found a group of birds, at least twice as big as him, and could be seen flying around in the air as he messed with the critter. They were unable to understand this little bird and his words, but that didn’t stop them from sharing the vigor of the undead child.
Back on the ground, Blake hopped closer to the rocks lining the limits of this small body of water, where Green Eyes rested.
“For everything I got you through, for this . It’s not really what I wanted to give you.” Blake turned his little bird head around, which prompted the murder mermaid to rest her arms and chin on the rock he was perched on “It should have been more.”
“But it isn’t.” Green Eyes hummed, expression serene as she splashed the surface a bit with her tail “And this isn’t bad. It’s not there , the food is nice, and the company is nice.”
Blake might not have had the facial features for it anymore, but he managed to look unconvinced.
“Especially the company.” Green Eyes smiled a bit, showing off her pointed teeth behind her lips. Had she gained a bit more color? She didn’t look as translucent as before.
Blake extended his little wings “I’m a bird.”
“You’re a pretty cute bird.” Green Eyes replied “Didn’t you want to be a bird?”
Blake shook his head like he wanted to get moisture off his body “I’ve heard what people say. They think Evan’s cute. I’m just the bigger, uglier bird he hangs out with.”
“Well, I think you’re cute.” Green Eyes extended an arm, poking one of the small twigs poking out of his feathers “The chicken nugget’s a very good-looking bird, don’t get me wrong. But you’re a cutie.”
In spite of his lack of lips, Blake chuckled “Shouldn’t it be the other way around?”
“Should it?” The pale mermaid asked back “It’s not like I know that much about birds. What makes one be better-looking than others? Do birds even care about appearances?”
“The more vibrant the colors, the better. Not all of them care, but it's very much a thing.” The ugly bird replied.
“Has a bird-lady hit on you? Rejected you?” Green Eyes’ smile disappeared, but she kept poking Blake here and there as she spoke “Is that why you’re being so self-conscious?”
“Uh… No, I don’t think so.” Blake replied, moving a little back when Green Eyes’ finger passed below his chin and almost got him off the ground.
“Good.” Green Eyes stated, retreating back into the water for a moment. Getting her upper body wet again, before re-emerging “If they know what’s good for me.”
“You think I’d hit on a regular bird?”
“I dunno, made sense in the moment.” Green Eyes managed to shrug before crossing her arms over the stone and bending again. Same position as before, resting her chin on the back of her palms “Would you?”
“No.”
“So serious…”
“I am giving it serious thoughts.” Blake insisted.
“I think you’re just mad that those birds like the chicken nugget better than you.” Green Eyes replied.
“No, Green Eyes. I…”
The murder mermaid closed the bird-boogeyman’s beak with two clawed fingers, and cradled his small body at the same time as she pushed back and floated on her back onto the water. She placed Blake on her chest and partially covered him with her right hand.
The sky above had more clouds than patches without them, gray and heavy but without darkening everything. She didn’t mind the cold, and the occasional snowflake falling on top of her left patches of frozen water all over her face and belly.
“Isn’t this nice?” She asked as she moved her tail a bit more, giving herself a bit of a push to keep floating along the body of water “Aren’t you enjoying… Well, all of this? Would it be better to go back? Still be stuck in the Drains? Hmmm?”
She played with him, trying to get him on his little back but Blake shuffled in place. Trying to look at her instead of the sky. She kept moving him all the same. Not as dexterously as someone without webbing on their fingers, but she did her best. With his small body, it’d be hard for her to injure him by pressing him against her scaly body, and she had never hurt herself that way. So she stuck her tongue a bit as she tried to get the little Other in the position she wanted.
“Stop. I’m trying to—.”
“Ruin the mood, it seems.” Green Eyes didn’t let go “Why do you always come with these gloomy subjects when things are good?”
“I think that’s a dangerous generalization.” Blake stopped moving, and so Green Eyes got him belly up like she wanted.
“Nah, I’m pretty sure of it.” Green Eyes started scratching the bird under the beak “Things can always be worse, as long as we are out of there . You probably didn’t notice since you were so focused back then, but it’s very difficult for things to be worse than being stuck in the Drains.”
One of the snowflakes threatened to fall on her nose, but Green Eyes opened her mouth and stuck her tongue out for it.
No flavor.
“Things could also be better.” Blake insisted again “That’s the point of being out of there.”
“They could.” Green Eyes conceded “But they aren’t. And if they aren’t, why do you care? It’s not like you can feel the lack of something that wasn’t there to begin with. That’s not loss, that’s just… Y’know, how things work.”
“But the knowledge irks me.” Blake replied “To know there could be more, that we’re stuck here. That I’m like this, when you made it evident that you…”
“The company’s nice.” Green Eyes repeated herself “I don’t really get what you’re getting at, since you and I have different ways of seeing the world. You’re way less monstrous, no matter what the wizards want to believe, than me or anyone like us that we’ve met. You still have some distinct human way of thinking.”
Blake fell silent, and Green Eyes moved to scratch his belly. A bit of a smile creeping on her face.
“Maybe you think we’re similar. Same experience, so there should be a similar result. Even if we look vastly different, right? After all, we work out.”
“You’re a complete win.” Blake commented “You and Evan, ever since I became aware of all of this…”
“But that’s part of it, isn’t it?” Green Eyes continued “I mean, you treated me like one of your closest friends from day one. I’m not sure if you were that desperate (could be, given where I found you), or you’re that nice. But, Blake, I’m not human. I haven’t been for a long, long time.”
Up in the sky, Evan and the birds started making shapes as they flew.
“Evan was a ghost for a while.” Blake commented, as if it proved a point he hadn’t made “He escaped a monster for a long time, with nothing but his wits and persistence.”
“What are you trying to imply?” Green Eyes pressed her clawed finger a bit harder on Blake’s belly. The small bird shook a bit before she relented.
“No comment.”
“You can be so annoying sometimes!” Green Eyes pressed down on Blake with her whole palm, patting him a bit before going back to scratching “Just relax. If we’re doing nothing, it’s because there’s no concern to take care of.”
“What about the others?” Blake asked, like Green Eyes cared.
“You care?” She asked, honestly curious.
“Just a bit.” Blake moved his little head to see Green Eyes’ “I still feel for Rose, you know? How can’t I? After all that happened.”
“She should be dead.” Green Eyes snarled “In my stomach, preferably.”
“See? That’s what I’m talking about.” Blake rolled back to his little bird-feet “Not about killing Rose, no. About wanting things to be different.”
“Difference is, I could just swim all the way to her and eat her.” Green Eyes started struggling to get Blake on his back again “It’d be hard, but I could try.”
“Please don’t.” Blake pecked on the mermaid’s fingers as he struggled against them.
“Fine, if you ask so nicely.” Green Eyes smiled again “For now.”
She lifted Blake up and allowed her body to sink back underwater, lifting Blake so he wouldn’t get wet as she got her tail underneath. With only the upper half of her face out of the water, she placed Blake on top of her head and slowly swam around.
“I could try to look and…”
“Blake, really. It’s fine.” Green Eyes groaned “It really is. I’m enjoying myself. If I have something to complain about, I’ll tell you. You’ll be the first to know.”
“But…”
“Actually, I do have something to complain about.” Green Eyes breathed water out of her nose, as if to emphasize that she was mad “You complain too much. It makes me feel like you don’t enjoy my company and want to push me away.”
“That’s not it.” Blake sat down, snuggling to her wet hair “I’m thinking about you.”
“Awww~.”
“You and Evan are all I have left.” Blake used his little beak to start surrounding himself with hair.
“So you want more.” Green Eyes concluded “The nebulous dream you talked about is here, and you’ve realized that it’s not enough?”
“That’s… Not quite it.”
“Well, if you want something then I’m down for it.” Green Eyes moved a bit more hair closer to Blake, so he could keep up whatever he was doing up there “I don’t really get it. Thinking about things is too complicated, there’s only the here and now in the Drains. And it made me exactly the same.”
She sunk a bit more, her eyes seeing both underwater and above it as she tried to articulate. She surfaced up to her neck when she was done thinking.
“The past was robbed from me, the future became too far away to even parse.” She looked up, trying not to tilt her head too much without warning, seeing Evan still up in the sky before continuing “I can’t help you with that. I thought it was because things have sucked for way too long, but maybe the Drains really stole that from me. Maybe I’ll never be able to make plans, and imagine a better life with you, like you want. Or maybe I’ll get bored and start figuring things out. I don’t know.”
She looked for Blake amidst the small shelter he made for himself, and let him hop on her hand to put him at eye level.
“So while I figure that out, why not see what you want? I’ll go wherever you go.” She got the little bird closer and gave Blake a small kiss on his head “Show me what you see, okay?”
Blake was looking up at her when she pulled him back “Okay.”
“No pressure, take your time.” Green Eyes looked up again “If you want to go with the chicken nugget, I don’t mind either. I’ll go check the bottom of this place, or something. Who knows? Maybe there’ll be something cool to show you when I surface again.”
“I’d like that, yeah. Thanks, Green Eyes. I mean it.” Blake nodded and took off, joining Even on making circles in the air while Green Eyes got down to business. The bottom wasn’t all that exciting, with nothing but a young man tied to a very heavy object from the ankle, looking already bitten.
Nothing that would excite Blake, but at least she got to dig in before the spirit birds went down to find her.