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“C’mon, c’mon, c’mon!” Luck begged Asta yet again. After hearing about how Asta had tapped within some unholy power within him while fighting off the Eye of the Midnight Sun and the Diamond Kingdom soon after getting his arms fixed, Luck had gone absolutely feral. The opportunity to fight what was probably an actual demon? Hell yeah!
Magna, for one, was just glad that he wassn’t the one who Luck was bothering for hours on end.
Yet, despite his constant attempts at getting Asta to fight, Asta just. Wouldn’t. Stop. Doing. Goddamned. Pushups! It was like his life depended on it! He kept on counting and counting and counting like there was no tomorrow, and his form wasn’t even the slightest bit disturbed by Luck’s constant poking and prodding. Hell, he even started sitting on Asta in an attempt to get him to stop, but that only lit him even more on fire!
“Don’t bother, Luck,” Noelle fondly sighed, having been accustomed to never being able to knock Asta out of his workouts. She’d even hit him with her Sea Dragon’s Roar, but when she got to where Asta was supposed to have landed, she found him doing resistance training by doing squats in the large body of water she’d inadvertently created. “I’d be surprised if even Captain Yami could stop him from his workouts.” She gently smiled, taking in the sight of him working out again, before becoming conscious of her actions and slapping both of her cheeks.
Wait, wait, wait! Noelle desperately told herself as her cheeks took on a wonderful pink. Why am I staring at his body so hard?! And why did I sound so caring when I sighed?! It’s not like I like it when he works out in the common area without a…without a shirt on!
Vanessa only hit her with a knowing look, to which Noelle pouted and tried to ignore.
“Yeah, no,” Yami absentmindedly responded as he flipped another page of his newspaper. “I could probably hit the kid with my dimension slash and he’d just do some calisthenics in that separate dimension or somethin’. Don’t ask me.”
As Asta just continued doing his pushups, Luck finally took the time to think. If even the strongest of magic attacks couldn’t harm Asta while he was working out, then hitting him with some good old fashioned lightning attacks probably wasn’t going to do anything.
Meaning he’d just have to overload his mind!
“Nope, that’s not gonna work either,” Gauche interrupted. “His brain is pretty much completely turned off during this time. He can only faintly hear things like ‘Time to eat’ or ‘Got a mission for you’ or some other stuff that’ll knock him out of his workout mind, but because of how much we’ve used it before, he’s sorta developed a resistance to any phrase we know will work on him, so we’re out of options.”
“And you know this how…?”
“A gust of wind blew my favorite picture of Marie underneath his body while he was exercising. After I cursed myself for my weakness and inability to protect Marie in any form, I attempted to murder him for even approaching it both mentally and physically, yet neither worked.”
Luck furrowed his eyebrows. What then…?
A faint whisper.
Luck blinked. Was he hearing things?
Another faint whisper.
Luck’s eyes widened. He knew what was going on.
“Gordon!” He whirled around before finding his target. “Do you know anything about Asta that might work?!”
Gordon nodded, catching the attention of pretty much everyone in the room except Yami, who was still glued to his newspaper.
“What is it? What is it?!” Luck gleefully interrogated, leaning close to Gordon in order to hear him. Gordon quietly whispered into Luck’s ear, and suddenly, the lightning boy lit up in glee. Whether it was learning new dirt on Asta or finally finding a way to fight him, nobody knew. Luck was pretty predictable, but also extremely unpredictable when it came to the oddest things.
Luck smirked victoriously, leisurely strolling over to Asta’s toned form. He crouched down, just enough for the magicless kid to hear him, and “informed” him of someone coming.
Asta was knocked out of his exercise fervor, the pump leaving his body in an instant. The words alone were enough to lower his guard, and his ki detection lowered with it.
Now, Luck knew one thing when it came to Asta’s unknown power when he heard about it from Noelle.
It happened when he was essentially unconscious and at the brink of death.
Luck smirked, charging up electricity in the blink of an eye before sending it straight where Asta was most vulnerable: His brain. As the electricity flowed through Asta’s brain, he stiffened up before foaming at the mouth. His eyes rolled back into his head, and just as quickly, he fell back.
“Awesome!” Luck cheered, pumping his fist in the air. “Now we’ve just gotta wait, and boom! Asta’ll fight me!”
“Hey, nice!” Magna egged his friend on, puming up his fist with the same vigor. “I wanna fight that weird thing too now!”
“L-Luck!” Noelle cried out, completely shocked as she knelt down by Asta, pressing her head close to his chest to make sure that his heart was still beating. Well, she knew that he’d probably still get up to fight even if his heart stopped, but that wasn’t the point. She didn’t want him to suddenly die like this!
She felt the gentle thud of his heart against his chest, and sighed in relief.
Vanessa snickered, “Cute.” Noelle, noticing that she was basically snuggling up to Asta’s unconscious form, instantly snapped to the other corner of the room before glaring halfheartedly at her.
Luck hummed, plopping down on the couch and propping his feet up on Asta’s sleeping body, “And now…we wait!”
He stared at the clock, waiting for Asta to suddenly emit that weird black light that didn’t seem like magic, but didn’t seem like anything normal power. Well, Luck was pretty sure that people who didn’t have any magic didn’t suddenly have the ability to summon weird black stuff out of their body, but he didn’t know any other magicless people to compare it to. From what he remembered, they told him that it activated only a few moments after he was knocked out.
Tick…tick…tick…
“It was soon after he was knocked out, right?” Luck nervously asked, receiving nods from those who were at the forest when it happened.
“Probably like…what, ten seconds at most?” Noelle mused. She blinked, doing her best to hide her concern as she looked at Asta, who was clearly not moving or turning into an actual demon. C’mon, Bakasta! Wake up! Please!
He was definitely alive, they knew that much. His soft, unconscious breathing was enough sign to tell them that. Though, there was one thing to note. For as loud as he normally was…he was kind of silent when he was asleep. Magna was extremely afraid of never being able to get any shuteye when Asta first joined the Black Bulls, but he was pleasantly surprised to learn that, at the church where Asta grew up, the snoring was essentially obliterated out of necessity so his siblings could get some sleep.
So, they did the only thing they could think of doing. Wait. They waited…and waited…and waited. Minute after minute passed until it hit just about half an hour. By minute 5, every one of them had returned to their normal activities, assuming that Asta would just wake up eventually. Hell, even Luck had determined it to be a failed experiment.
He sighed, disappointed. He’d just have to find a new way to get Asta to get into that super combat form he’d heard so much about.
Just about half an hour later, Asta slowly opened his eyes. Unnoticed by everyone except Luck, who could simply feel the way his back muscles flexed just a little bit more than they normally would if he was still asleep.
“Oh, there you are!” Luck cheerfully grinned. “So, so! Did you find a way to tap into that demon stuff of yours?!”
“No, no, I didn’t,” Asta assured calmly. “Is that what you were trying to get me to do?”
…
What.
The collective, single thought of the entire Black Bulls barring Asta was one of complete confusion. Something was off in the force there, that was for sure. A few of them put their hands on their chins, deep in thought as they attempted to figure out what had happened.
And all at once, they realized what was so bizarre.
Asta assured calmly . He didn’t jump up in mock offense, he didn’t belt out his annoyance, he didn’t seem at all frustrated. And most of all, he was quiet. Asta. Quiet. Those words…they just seemed so wrong to think about together.
“Bakasta…?” Noelle quietly asked, holding her hand out to him tentatively as if he was suddenly going to bite. “Are you okay?”
Asta nodded to reassure her, “Yeah, I’m doing okay. Just trying to remember what exercise I was doing before I was knocked out. Actually, I’m pretty sure I was preparing for a mission, wasn’t I?” At this point, even Yami had taken his eyes off his newspaper as he tried to comprehend the scene in front of him. An Asta that wasn’t jumping around like a damn lunatic, who wasn’t talking in a voice so loud he was going to destroy his vocal cords, and who wasn’t acting like a hyperactive dog. It wasn’t like Asta at all!
“No, you weren’t, brat,” Yami growled, standing up and stomping over to Asta, who had finally gotten up. “Take a damn rest day. Or I’ll kill you.” He had stretched out his forearm a little before he had gotten up, ready to grab Asta by the scalp and apply pressure on his skull until he yielded.
The hell…? Yami noticed in a flash. His ki… For some odd reason, there wasn’t a single piece of Asta that revealed his ki to hold any qualms with Yami’s statement.
“Understood, Captain,” Asta conceded. “It would do me good to get some rest.”
Pure. Utter. Silence. Vanessa, who had been holding her booze haphazardly as she waved it around, had dropped it in sheer shock despite how much she had spent for it when she broke the silence. Charmy stopped eating. Charmy. Stopped. Eating.
“What…the… fuck …” Magna whispered, but in the quiet of the room, he might as well have shouted it. “Is wrong with him…?”
“What do you mean, Magna-senpai?” Asta questioned just as calmly, before getting lost deep in thought. “My muscles need time to rest if the stem cells are going to be effective to help my muscles recover. I should also monitor my intake of protein vs. fat in order to ensure I can move as efficiently as possible. Perhaps I should head into the library to research the most efficient way to improve my body…”
Noelle was the first one to talk, though it didn’t stop Asta from continuing his muttering, “We need to fix this. Asta…Asta should not be…be…” She tried to find the words to express the complete confusion she was feeling, but couldn’t.
“Like that?” Vanessa supplemented, earning an affirmative nod in response. She was honestly kind of shocked that his head wasn’t exploding from how he seemed to be using his brain at least 50 times as much as normal.
“I’m going to be heading to the library now. I’ll also be doing stretches as I research to make sure my body is as lithe as possible. Like a cat, almost,” Asta remarked.
“The hell…?” Yami muttered, out loud this time. “I didn’t even know he knew the word ‘lithe’ in the first place…”
“We need to do something about this,” Gauche scowled. “At this rate, he might find a way to involve Marie in his plans for his rest day…”
Gordon whispered, quiet enough that Gauche couldn’t understand him, “Don’t worry, Gauche, we all know that you’re concerned for Asta’s well being in the end. I appreciate the bond that you two have formed. As Asta’s best friend, the fact that you care about him to this extent means that you are my best friend as well.”
“He needs to eat some good noms, la!” Charmy helpfully advised.
Now, to find a solution…
“Luck, c’mon, do something!” Magna begged his best friend. He’d already strolled by the library twice today and saw Asta deep in thought, having already read 5 books and completed twelve pages worth of notes. Upon closer inspection, the pages were completely filled, with an intricate notetaking system used for it. “I can’t take any more of this! I can’t take more of Smart Asta! Smartsta!”
“What am I supposed to do?!” Luck nearly screeched, just as horrified as Magna. He’d wanted a challenge, but this sort of challenge was one like no other. “I didn’t know that was going to happen!”
“Just–God, just do it again!” Magna howled, and Luck could swear there were tears forming in his eyes, if the glassy, bloodshot look in them was enough to indicate anything. “That’s gotta do something, right?!”
“Fine!” Luck listened to Magna, their shared singular brain cell evolving into a solid half of a brain cell. Desperately, he held out his hand again, and pointed it at Asta. “Lightning Magic: Thunderbolt Destruction!”
As the lightning bolt hit Asta’s skull once again, Magna and Luck held their breath. They anxiously waited for Asta to awaken, desperately hoping that he would revert to idiocy once more. Eventually, they were joined by Noelle, Vanessa, Gordon, Gauche, and Grey, who also began waiting in the hopes that Asta’s brain would revert to its original malfunctioning.
Soon enough, Asta rose again, this time with eyes that made him seem like a wise old sage rather than a youthful, passionate learner.
“Ah, hello, everyone,” Asta greeted them with a slight bow of his head, which was already weird because not once have they seen Asta do something like that for anyone, not even the Wizard King other than the occasional salute. “That reminds me, I wished to do some studying with you all. I had just finished reading this academic study regarding the various effects of calisthenics, and how that stacks up compared to either barbells or dumbbells in regards to building chest muscles. Now that you’re all here, I have a request to make. Would all of you like to join me in another study session, this time surrounding the application of Weierstrass’s function? I find it astounding how his determination and rigorous study allowed him to entirely reform the world of mathematics from the belief of mathematics being something entirely intuitive and following natural law into something requiring hard, cold proofs and logical statements, and how this allowed for further discoveries in other ways such as in stochastic calculus or through brownian motion.”
All at once, everyone other than Asta present yelled at Luck, “YOU’VE MADE IT WORSE!”
At everyone’s desperation (barring Yami and Asta), Finral was instructed (and incredibly willing) to create a portal from the Black Bulls headquarters to the royal capital in the hopes that there would be someone who could solve their problems.
“Why exactly are you asking me to come along?” Yami grumbled, seeing Finral open the portal.
“YOU HAVE CONNECTIONS!” Almost everyone shouted in unison, before they were interrupted by Asta.
“Whoa, whoa, why is everyone getting so loud?” Asta quietly chuckled, putting his hands up in mock defense. “There’s no need to get so excited over a trip to the royal capital. After all, we’ve been there many times before.”
At this point, everything about Asta was bringing everyone to their emotional limits. Magna was just about ready to do some harm to the environment that would effectively counter the efforts of 50 environmentalists. Vanessa had begun drinking again, this time less for enjoyment and more for escapism. Hell, Noelle was just about ready to start crying.
I need my Bakasta back how he should be! She was completely aware of what her thoughts sounded like right now, but she was in so much distress that she couldn’t care less. No matter how much she wanted to deny it to herself, she couldn’t ignore the feelings that were in torture at the moment, seeing Asta act how he currently was.
Nobody responded to Asta audibly, only picking him up and practically shoving him through the portal.
“Ah, the capital,” Asta took a deep breath, immersing himself in the atmosphere of the land around him. “I suppose I can understand why you all wished to come here.”
“SHUT UP!” The vast majority of them told him, still barring Yami. The sheer volume of their shouts alerted everyone around them to their presence. Quickly, the sound of swift footsteps came about, soon followed by the calls of various preparatory magic spells.
“What’s going on here?!” A strong, confident voice called out. “I swear, if any of you are trying to harm Sis again, I’m going to kill you!”
“Call me Captain,” Charlotte instructed, fondly exasperated before she took in the scene in front of her. “Oh, it’s just the Black Bulls again, and their normal shenanigans.” She scanned the crowd, seeing Asta up in everybody else’s arms like he was crowd surfing before her eyes caught hold of something.
W-W-Wait! She realized just who else had come with. Y-Y-Yami?! Her cheeks took a faint note of pink as she tried averting her eyes from him, with the fleeting hope that he would just ignore the commotion.
“Oh, aren’tcha that one girl who’s always with Miss Thorny, right?” Yami observed, looking at Sol curiously. “Oh, wait, there she is. ‘Sup.”
Goddamnit! Charlotte noted, before trying her best to keep her cool. “And what exactly brings your band of ruffians to the royal capital? You seem to be quite content causing chaos despite being a magic knight.”
“Oh, the brat’s actin’ weird, at least, according to the rest of my squad,” he explained with a casual shrug as he stuck out his thumb towards them. As he spoke, everyone was desperately carrying Asta up the unusually highly positioned castle that was only reachable through an amount of stairs that even Led Zeppelin couldn’t imagine.
Asta noted, only loud enough to speak over his squadmates’s voices, “Captain Charlotte, right? Don’t worry about what Captain Yami is saying. I’m doing just fine.”
Charlotte thought that that would’ve been the end of their interaction, so she could finally get back to–
“Actually, Captain Yami?” Asta called out to him. “I think everyone here’s got plans for me, so that should probably be enough. You probably won’t need to come along with me to deal with them. Why don’t you spend some more time with Captain Charlotte? The two of you seem to get along well. Why don’t you get a drink together?” He shot the two of them a calm smile, which would normally appease anyone. Except, of course, in this case, both Charlotte and Yami were just about ready to send Asta to the shadow realm.
“Absolutely not!” Sol interrupted. “There’s no way that any person, let alone this hooligan, should ever be allowed to spend time with such a perfect person as Sis! Everyone! We’re charging straight at him and joining forces with the Black Bulls to set him straight!”
A cacophony of shouts agreeing with Sol broke out among the other Blue Rose Knights, and in the confusion, they completely failed in their task by leaving Yami and Charlotte alone.
Sol! W-W-What are you doing?! Charlotte was mentally shrieking at this point, having Yami so close to her without anyone else around. Save me so I don’t embarrass myself!
“Well,” Yami, on the other hand, seemed completely unfazed. “I’ve got nothin’ to do. Might as well listen to the kid’s suggestion. Wanna head to a pub and hang out for now until they’re done?”
Charlotte’s eyes widened to the size of dinner plates.
I have to thank that kid sometime soon.
Their attempts were all fruitless.
Owen.
“I’m sorry, but I’m only able to heal physical ones. I can’t do much psychologically.”
Marx.
“I’m not even a healer. Why are you asking me? I have to clean up some work.”
Even the Wizard King.
“As much as I’d like to, operations on the brain are incredibly tricky when it comes to reversing time. I’d need quite a large amount of time and effort to try something like this, and even then, it’s risky. I could even reverse the existence of some of his core memories if I make even the smallest mistakes.”
Everything was going awry. Everyone in the Black Bulls and some of the Blue Rose Knights that had joined them on their journey to remedy Asta’s sudden change in personality had erupted in chaos.
“Wait!” Noelle suddenly called out to them, a light bulb appearing over her head. “We can ask Yuno about it! He’s gotta know something about Asta that can reverse him!”
Magna, who had become miserably lethargic, instantly pumped up again, “Awesome! If there’s anyone on this earth who knows how to fix Asta, it’s gotta be that pretty boy!”
It only took them a few minutes to find Yuno, since he, alongside Klaus and Mimosa, often frequented the capital to address any immediate concerns.
Most of them shouted out, united in their agony, “YUNO!” Charmy, on the other hand, shouted, “My meal-saving prince!”
Calm as ever, Yuno turned around to address the ragged group of magic knights that were out of breath, “Do you need something from me?”
Klaus, before allowing anyone to speak about their issue, reprimanded them, “What has you all so worked up that you would willingly present yourselves in such an uncouth manner in the capital! Act as dignified magic knights, you scoundrels!”
Wordlessly, Noelle only shoved Asta to the front, and pointed at him.
“Good afternoon, Yuno!” Asta casually greeted in the most normal voice he had ever spoken in. Instantly, Klaus and Mimosa’s jaws dropped to the ground. They didn’t even know Asta could speak in a voice that didn’t count as violating the Geneva Convention.
“Hello, Asta,” Yuno apathetically responded, though he was trying to gauge his rival and best friend’s responses. There was clearly something deeply wrong with him if the Black Bulls weren’t even explaining the issue verbally. “What have you been up to?”
And there was the trigger for Asta to display exaclty why everyone was so distraught, “I’ve been studying the incredibly intriguing history of how Leonhard Euler, the famous mathematician who essentially founded the entire thou–”
“I fully understand what you’re talking about,” Yuno interrupted, though nobody was entirely sure whether he was talking to the distraught crowd or to Asta.
“DO YOU HAVE ANY SOLUTIONS?!” Noelle begged, and no amount of royal genes within her was going to stop the tear stain lines from showing on her face.
“Yeah. This has happened once before,” Yuno remarked, though he was clearly against it. “Though, do we really have to change him back?”
“Oh, that reminds me!” Asta snapped his fingers. “Through my extensive studies, I’ve discovered the most scientifically efficient way to become the Wizard King! Perhaps you should get to studying, too? Though, I imagine your libraries wouldn’t have the exotic materials the Black Bulls have.”
…
“Okay, come along with me,” Yuno instructed them. “We’re heading to Hage Village to fix Asta.”
“Hage village…” Asta clicked his tongue, enjoying the fresh country air. “I always loved the silence here.”
Yuno casually remarked, “There was never any silence. You just got used to how loud you were.”
Noelle, still stressed out about Asta, “How exactly is coming here going to help anyone?” Yuno just held out his finger to shush her, before signalling that she’ll see soon enough. As the now incredibly large group of magic knights hopped off their various modes of transportation, they allowed Asta and Yuno ahead to the doors of the church. The two of them seemed to have engaged into some form of deep conversation before the door opened to reveal the sight of Sister Lily.
Just as soon as the door opened, Yuno started and stopped the conversation instantly, “Sister, do you remember when Asta hit his head on a rock really hard in an attempt to awaken his magic powers? Yeah, he’s in that condition. Thank you.”
Equally swift in how he had walked to the door as he did away from it, Yuno explained, “Asta’ll return to his normal state in under a minute. Worry no longer.”
Between Asta and Sister Lily, Asta was trying to engage in some meaningful conversation with Sister Lily about how Hippasus, an ancient philosopher, was said to have been responsible for the discovery of irrational numbers, and the suspicion that he was drowned at sea as punishment from the gods for such a heinous act.
However, Sister Lily had a weapon absolutely nobody in the Clover Kingdom had.
The first time this had happened, Sister Lily was also the one to revert Asta to his normal state.
Despite the fact that she’d never mean it, Sister Lily sent the most gentle smile towards Asta, already cracking through his new barrier of extreme nerdiness.
Her words were the final blow.
“So, Asta, I’ve been thinking about your desire to marry me…”
She never had to finish the sentence before blood spurted out of Asta’s nose, propelling him back until he landed on his back in a painful manner.
A few seconds passed by without any movement from Asta. Everyone watched him with held breath, though Yuno and Sister Lily only watched on with confidence.
Suddenly, Asta jerked up and awake, “I AM ALIVE! OH MY GOD, WE’RE IN HAGE VILLAGE! YEAH! SISTER! DO WE HAVE ANY EXTRA TATOES TO ENJOY?! ALSO, WILL YOU MARRY ME? WAIT, YUNO! YOU WON’T BELIEVE HOW AMAZING THE TATOES ARE WHEN CHARMY COOKS THEM! I MEAN, THEY’RE NOT AS AMAZING AS WHEN SISTER COOKS THEM, BUT THEY’RE AMAZING!”
Asta could only blink in confusion when everyone who wasn’t Yuno or Sister Lily collapsed onto the ground in sheer relief, with Noelle having even broken out into grateful tears before tackling Asta to the ground to both scold him and thank whatever higher power existed that he was back to normal.
“DID…SOMETHING HAPPEN?” Asta questioned, confused, though he held Noelle’s head close to his chest in order to let her vent out her emotions more easily, subconsciously wrapping his other arm around her waist to support her.
Yuno shook his head, only looking at Asta with that same soft smile he always did whenever the two of them talked, “No, no…don’t worry about it.”
Asta, completely back to normal, took it completely at face value, “GOTCHA!”