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When Will turned his face away and covered his mouth with his hand, Mike felt his heart break into a million pieces at the same time he felt a familiar feeling of dread in his stomach. “When you're different, sometimes…you feel like a mistake.” Those were the words Will had said to him. He wished he could tell him just how much he understood. But Will was supposed to be talking about El. Although he tried to ignore it, he felt like something was off. It sounded like Will was talking straight from the heart. If he was, which was impossible, that would mean something that Mike definitely wasn't ready to deal with. But he was talking about El, right?
Will told him that El commissioned the painting. But, in El’s letter, she said that Will wouldn't show her his painting. She also said that she thought the painting was for a girl. At first, Mike was jealous. He tried so hard not to be, because why should he be jealous? His best friend was getting a date. He knew deep down why he felt that way, but, as always, he pushed it down and decided to push Will away instead of dealing with his feelings. But now, Mike was fighting the blush that traveled up to his ears at the implication of Will being so secretive about his painting for Mike, of Will “acting weird” about Mike.
As much as he told himself he was overthinking, that Will wasn't talking about himself, he still found himself leaning forward to tell Jonathan to pull over. Jonathan pulled over without a question with a knowing look. It wasn't judging, or angry, or disappointed, just calm and knowing.
Will tried to hide his tears when he looked up at Jonathan, confused and slightly panicked. Jonathan gave him a small smile and looked away. Mike unlocked his door and stepped out, grabbing Will’s arm to drag him out with him. He pretended the touch didn't drive him crazy. He dragged Will behind the van, trying to stay out of Argyle and Jonathan’s vision. Reluctantly, he let go of Will’s wrist and kept his eyes locked on anywhere but Will.
Mike sighed and bit the bullet.
“That speech…it wasn't about El, was it?” His voice was hushed, like it was the end of the world if anyone heard.
Will didn’t look at Mike either. He tried to hold in his tears, which just seemed to flow harder after Mike’s question. Will covered his face with both of his hands as he whispered, “I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. It's so stupid, I never should have said anything.”
Mike brought his eyes up to look at Will, which he immediately regretted. He wished he could say something, get the words out to make Will feel better, but his voice felt like it was stuck in his throat. He reached his arms out to catch Will in a tight hug. Will stood in his grasp, still sobbing, for a while. Eventually, he wrapped his arms around Mike just as tight and let himself sob into his shoulder. Mike felt tears building up and his vision getting blurrier. He knew he had to say something, so he said the first thing that came to mind with his voice cracking.
“I know how you feel. About being different. Feeling like a mistake.”
“No, you don't, Mike.” Will buried his head in Mike’s shoulder. Mike stepped out of the hug, hands still on Will’s shoulders, and looked Will in the eyes for the first time.
“I do, Will. I do.” Mike hoped Will understood what he was saying without him having to say it. He couldn't say the words. “And I'm scared of losing you, too. I don't know what I would do without you. I've already almost lost you twice because of the Upside Down. I can't lose you because I'm an idiot. And I am! Big time.” Will laughed at that.
“God, I'm such an idiot,” Mike continued, “I'm sorry for pushing you away when you left. I'm sorry for pushing you away these past few days. I just…you make me crazy.
“Last summer, our fight felt like the end of the world. I'm so sorry I said those things. I didn't mean them. I really would like to sit in my basement and play games all day with you. No girls.”
Will’s tears had stopped, and his adam's apple bobbed in his throat.
“No girls?” Will asked. Mike knew what he was really asking.
“No girls.”
Will laughed, but it sounded half like a sob. He had tears still running on the side of his face while he smiled. A couple of tears had started falling down Mike’s face as well, and he mirrored Will’s smile. Will’s hands reached up to hold Mike’s face, and Mike dropped his forehead to rest against Will’s.
“Are you a hundred percent serious right now? You're not messing with me?” Will asked. Mike closed his eyes and shook his head, their foreheads still touching. Both of their hearts were beating out of their chests with the realization that everything they had wanted since they were kids could be real. Finally. Will closed his eyes as well.
“Crazy together,” Will whispered. Mike laughed softly at the memory.
“Crazy together,” Mike whispered back. Their faces were so close that they could feel each other's heavy breaths. Will wiped tears from under Mike’s eyes with his thumbs, and Mike couldn't resist the urge to lean in just an inch and catch him in a kiss. It was just a peck, but it left them both jittery and warm, unable to stop smiling. Even though they were in the middle of the desert in Nevada searching for Mike’s ex-girlfriend with superpowers, the pure joy they felt was unmatched by anything either had ever experienced. Maybe Mike hearing Will’s voice after seeing his supposed corpse came close, or Will waking up to his mom’s face with the Mind Flayer out of him.
At that moment, Mike Wheeler decided that pretending sucked. Pretending to be in love with someone you can't be attracted to sucked, pretending to not be in love with his best friend sucked. Pushing away the person he cared about the most and hurting him all because he was pretending to be someone he wasn't, sucked.
So he stopped pretending. He let himself kiss Will again, then one more time, then another for good measure. He stopped pretending that he hadn't wanted to kiss him for years. The one thing he wasn't pretending to be was scared. He was terrified of what being in love with Will Byers meant for him, meant for Will, in the future. He was terrified of people finding out, of people bullying him just like in middle school, of people punching him in the street for existing. He was scared of so much, but if being scared meant he could kiss the person he'd been pining over for basically his entire life, then he would deal with it.