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The first time they said it, loud and clear, it was during one of these soft and passionate moments. It was so much easier for both of them to show their feelings for each other than talk about it, and it was what mattered most anyway. However, this time, it came without thinking.
They were tangled in Husk’s bed sheets, locked in a tight and feverish embrace. The cat was laying on top of his beloved spider, covering his half naked body with kisses and love bites, while Angel was holding onto him as if his existence depended on it, upper arms around his neck as he scratched his ears, middle arms around his waist, and the two additional hands on his ass. The silence in the room was filled with the sound of moans, heavy breathing and loud purrs.
Despite getting slowly used to it, Angel could not help but keep thinking how lucky he was. His lover was so caring, so patient, so cautious with him, as if he were a glass doll who would break at the slightest too hasty move or word. Yet, he knew for a fact that Angel was anything but some weak and fragile little thing. Beyond his foppish skinny diva persona, he had quite a mental and physical strength, a rock solid comeback, enough agility to take a dozen demons out all on his own with one gun – or six, depending on the situation – and that with an unequaled class. He was smart, skilled, resilient, independent, and in the same time very creative. He always had that damn style, that damn boldness, and good grief he managed to walk and even dance with high heels! His body had suffered so much that even pouring alcohol on an open injury barely made him grunt in pain, his integrity had been tarnished so many times that it seemed nothing could affect him anymore. He had been through so much since decades that his shell was strongly reinforced, until it became an impassable fortress.
Except now, for Husk. He knew what it was all about, even more as days went by. He knew that, even if sometimes Angel couldn’t help but gently laugh about it, it made him feel unbelievably good. Being treated with so much sweetness, so much attention, so much affection. Being truly listened to when he confided about his fears, his complexes, his nightmares, his wounds, or even anecdotes that anyone would consider insignificant. Being looked at with so much love, fascination, adoration, as if he was the most important being, the most precious treasure in the entire world. He really felt wanted, respected, loved, in a tangible and genuine way. And he was, Husk found him beautiful and attractive, not only for his dream body – an unquestionable fact – but also for his eyes sparkling with mischief, his smile, his sweet voice, his uncontrolled way of suddenly blushing and starting to stutter when the cat covered him with compliments, and so many other details he discovered bit by bit. He respected him as a person, made sure he felt good, safe, supported and never judged for anything.
When it came to cuddling – and sometimes a bit more – he was constantly making sure Angel felt comfortable and they didn’t go past his limits. Sure, the porn star had no limits when it came to stuff under the bed sheets, but right here, right now, it was nothing about his job. Which was still complex for him somehow: usually, and since decades, he automatically dissociated intimate activities from feelings, to him these were two different things that should not interact under any pretext. First, because it was dangerous, second, because it was painful, and even if he was in Hell, he already suffered far enough. He could enjoy it, even experience certain emotions and thrilling sensations sometimes. But no feelings.
So, at this very moment, and other similar ones, he couldn’t help but feel confused and be extremely sensitive quickly. He experimented that specific intimacy in such an intense way that a single touch from his lover could drive him mad. And it did. When the winged demon started to nibble on of his sides and give kitten-like small licks on the fur to separate it and reach the tender flesh underneath, the arachnid’s whole body tensed and he moaned louder, breathing even faster. As he had to let go of the fuzzy pointy ears, he grabbed the sheets to have something to hold onto, panting heavily.
- O-oh… Husk…
As a porn star and prostitute, he could consider this as almost nothing, just some common mere foreplay. But damn, only that made him such a mess he didn’t recognize himself. It wrecked his entire conception of the whole thing, made him discover it from a very new perspective, an amazing perspective. Every single time they shared a moment like this, Angel felt like his emotions, his senses, his pleasure, his libido and sex appeal were reborn. It was diametrically different from what he usually experienced at work, even when he had fun and enjoyed the intercourse.
With his everyday partner, he felt so many things, and they were so powerful, so deep, they seemed to erupt from the abyss of his soul and flow in his veins like molten lava, consuming him slowly and deliciously, gnawing at his core and blurring his mind until all he could see, feel, smell, hear and think of was his boyfriend, and the very moment they had together. With him, he could give free rein to his feelings and fantasies, he could finally be himself. He didn’t feel like a drug-craving depressed piece of shit, or a charity case, or a lab rat for some dubious experiment about soul redemption for demons, or a famous porn star and prostitute who had to just perform, no matter how good or bad sex could be, no matter how he felt, no matter how fake his moans were.
Suddenly, an uncontrolled high-pitched yelp came out of his mouth, when Husk let a trail of love bites all along his hip, under the white fur, while gently scratching both of his sides with his claws. Angel arched his back and grabbed the sheets even tighter, biting his lip out of habit, shivering and squeaking at every lick and bite. He felt the heat grow inside him and go to his head, driven crazy by his boyfriend’s attentions.
- H-Husk… aah…
The hybrid slowly deviated his kisses along his lover’s hipbone and reached his belly. He nuzzled the sensitive area, while his arms held Angel to hug him tenderly. Then, he followed the pink trail, covering the skin underneath with feather light kisses and soft bites; with that, the spider was squirming and panting even harder, his half-closed eyes watering, his hands clutching the sheets or the cat’s fur, his feet tensing, his entire body simmering with arousal.
It was so much… almost too much. Every single touch from the feline got him flustered, he had no control over it, which was a bit scary somehow but holy smoke it felt so outrageously good!
- Hu- Oh my gosh… I… Oh, f-…
There was no way a full relevant sentence could come out of his mouth, he was overwhelmed and all he could do was holding onto his lover for dear life and let him take care of his trembling body. So, he did. When they were together, he finally could let go, give in to him, put all of his doubts aside and let himself enjoy a real, strong and loving embrace.
Another yelp, even louder, came out when Husk reached his breast-like fluff, grabbing it carefully in his paws, slightly grazing his throat with the tip of his claws. The way Angel was driven completely mad at every single kiss and caress gave him a wide grin and he couldn’t help but feel proud and moved at the same time. He kept touching his neck and bosom, leaving another trail of gentle bites and licks between the two fluffy mounts and, when he reached the base of the collarbone, the spider tensed and arched his back even more, grabbing one of the feline’s arms.
- Oh fuck yes!
This was nothing close to one of the hundreds of orgasms he had experienced through his life and afterlife, but it was so intense, so good, so powerful, he couldn’t hold back the tears filling his eyes, nor the continuous squeaking between insanely fast breaths, nor his claws he almost tore the sheets with, nor the words that suddenly fell out of his mouth at this instant.
- Husk... I love you!
At first, during one or two seconds, neither of them realized what Angel had just said. Yet, when the latter suddenly stopped and started panicking, it was all crystal clear to Husk: he’d really said that. So, he stopped his ministrations and stared at his boyfriend, not sure of what to do.
- I… I mean, uh… I…
Blushing furiously, Angel covered his mouth with two of his hands and looked away, so ashamed.
- Oh, shit… Fuck, I-I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to… Forget it, I…
- Angel.
Even though he was not entirely serene either – these words meant a ton when said seriously – Husk remained as calm as possible, trying to soothe his lover’s sudden anxiety. When he took his hands in his paws to take them away from his eyes, Angel closed them immediately, tensing even more. Everything was mixed up in his mind, all the worst scenarios coming up: it was over, he was done, Husk would never look at him again, or want to talk to him, he’d just ruined everything they had with stupid words that had made him disappointed too many times before.
It was only when he heard the cat’s low and soft voice he was pulled out of his messy thoughts.
- Hey, look at me…
He was now trembling but not the same way he did before, he was freaking out. He gathered all of the few strength he had left and opened his eyes, slowly and shyly.
- It’s okay.
The hybrid demon gently took one of his cheeks in his paw, minding the claws as he always did. Like a frightened puppy, Angel needed a few seconds before he leaned in the touch. He tried to calm down, taking deep breaths and focusing on the fact that Husk was still here, holding him in his arms, looking at him, talking to him, telling him it was fine. He took the cat’s paw and let a long sigh out, his body gradually relaxing.
- Everything’s okay, Angie.
The spider had a nervous feverish laugh and wiped his tears away with the back of a hand. He loved that nickname, along with every other from Husk. From anyone else, at best it left him indifferent, at worse he was disgusted, all those guys giving him honeyed nicknames while they didn’t even respect him and didn’t know who he truly was.
- I… I love you too, y’know…
At these words, Angel suddenly freezed, caught unawares and astounded by such an avowal. Did he hear that well? Or was he starting to hallucinate? He had blurted those words out by reflex due to the intensity of the emotions during their close embrace, and he was so unused to this kind of situation it made him freak out. And now, the grumpiest, crabbiest, most inexpressive and withdrawn demon he knew, who struggled to reconnect with his own feelings too for all these reasons, had just told him, with a timidity Angel barely knew he had, scratching the back of his head nervously, that he loved him.
The arachnid couldn’t believe it. He was left speechless with astonishment for a few seconds, while those words echoed in his head, on a loop, louder and louder, fighting his inner voice. A voice that followed his habits and hammering it home that no, it could not be true, no one could love him, he didn’t deserve such regard, he was just a slut whose only value was to be Hell’s most coveted porn star and prostitute, whose reputation and advantages coming along could disappear in a flash. And, after all, everything down here was so uncertain that it could all collapse at any moment.
Yet, he had heard well. He was not dreaming. It was surreal and at the same time so true, so honest. It was… too much. His heart, already beating like mad, lost it even more and, this time, Angel could not hold his tears back any longer and broke down crying in his lover’s arms. The latter, shaken by what he’d just said and saddened to see his boyfriend like this, needed a few seconds to react, not really knowing what to do.
- Angel, sweetheart, it’s gonna be okay…
He held him tight and lulled him with sweet nothings, wiping his tears away patiently, peppering his face with kisses while stroking his hair, still cautiously given that his strands naturally tended to curl and then got tangled more easily. The spider snuggled into Husk’s chest fluff, following its regular up and down movement, which helped slow his erratic breathing down and soothed him too. They stayed like this for a while, enough to regain their composure – somehow. Husk moved back slightly to kiss his lover’s forehead and wiped the last traces of tears away from under his pretty eyes that gleamed with emotion and love. He would never admit it out loud, but everything he saw in Angel’s eyes made his heart flutter, and that expression filled with affection, tenderness, elation, was worth all the world’s “I love you”s – though it was really nice to hear of course, he hadn’t heard them for an eternity…
Despite the remaining sobs that made him tremble every now and then, Angel felt relaxed and reassured, he smiled at Husk and wrapped all of his arms around him to keep him as close as possible. The feline covered him with attentions and with his wing – he knew how much his partner loved that sensation to be swathed under this huge feathery veil, that it was one of the best ways to comfort him and make him feel at ease, safe, untouchable.
- It’s all right, tesoro... Pasticcino... Regina mia...
While the cat punctuated each of these nicknames by a short kiss, Angel felt his heart get carried away again and started to laugh nervously.
- Husk… I won’t get over it if you keep sayin’ such things to me.
The bartender then gave a mischievous smile.
- What, is it better if I call you “moron”?
Angel stared at him wide-eyed, disconcerted, then he giggled and pretended to cogitate.
- Mh, as long as you don’t mean it, I’m fine with that.
- Ah, but I do mean it!
Husk’s answer brought him a slap on the shoulder and a falsely outraged gaze.
- You bastard!
- Didn’t say I don’t like it, fragolina.
Moved by that confession and umpteenth nickname, Angel got closer to give him a kiss on the muzzle, then many others all over his face, then his neck, and so on. Between two sighs of pleasure, Husk whispered while fondling his hair:
- Thanks...
The intrigued arachnid gave him a questioning look, as he scratched the fur at the base of his ears.
- Mh, why?
- For… sayin’ it first.
Angel’s smile, which was already present on his face, widened all the more, he softly but firmly took the cat’s fuzzy cheeks and kissed him passionately. Damn, he did love that man, too much…
- Oh, kitty. You know I always make the first move.
With that answer, he gave a flirty wink and resumed with little kisses, while his lover extended his light touches all along his back. They both perfectly knew it was not really about “making the first move”, but they understood each other. Husk knew Angel had blurted those words out automatically, not on purpose, and it made them all the mode meaningful. Angel knew Husk wouldn’t have dared to say them spontaneously either, and the fact he admitted it, even tacitly, touched him a lot. After all, they hadn’t been together for a very long time and, at the scale of Hell, a few weeks, months of even years were not a lot. So, they had all the eternity to show their love to each other, with or without words.
~
Tesoro = Treasure (litt.)
Pasticcino = Little pastry (litt.)
Regina mia = My queen
Fragolina = Little strawberry (litt.)
~