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Maverick had a complicated relationship with sex. That is to say, it was rather non-existent.
Yeah.
Nobody expected that from Peter Maverick Mitchell - which was also why he never told anyone. Not anymore.
Looking at his own history, it wasn’t that strange. He’d been in foster care since he could remember, and while his experiences weren’t as bad as some, they were enough to put him off it. Sex-ed in junior high had comprised of being told that you should only have sex with a girl you loved, preferably after marriage. Later, telling the priest of what he had seen at home, he had been told it was the greatest sin, and he had been swiftly moved to another city. It took a good few years before Peter understood what the priest hadn’t told him. Looking back, he was grateful to the priest to have prolonged his childhood a little while more. But on the topic of sex, Pete wasn’t particularly religious - despite many foster parents best efforts - and hypocrisy, nor did he see the sense or advantage of getting married… nor was he old enough. But more importantly, how’d he ever know when he was in love?
He’d had some trouble in high school. He was popular enough on account of winning the genetic lottery. Good enough grades to get into the Academy and despite being quite short, he was on the football team as well. He supposed he came off a certain way, because the girls that liked him had no interest in waiting particularly long. They wanted kisses, petting, special petting. And Pete… felt awkward. And well, that made him think of Joanna with tears in her eyes, telling him “-love is when you feel safe.”
That seemed reasonable enough.
Joanna was his foster-sister two foster homes back. Yet again, he was grateful for how long it took before he connected the dots on the origin of those tears.
Usually, by the time Pete wanted to go a little further, most girls had either lost interest, or were insulted he hadn’t pounced on the first opportunity they gave him. And should he try to explain, well that just made it all worse. Because what did he mean by waiting until he had feelings? He hadn’t had feelings when they started dating? Trying to explain that he did like them fell on deaf ears.
And the pressure to explain or perform… well, that made him feel rather… if not unsafe, definitely uncomfortable.
Unsafe he didn’t really experience until the Academy. The stirrings of feelings happened in his third year, and it was towards a fellow officer-in-training. Said officer-in-training also liked men and thus yanked Pete into a not-quite-thriving gay scene. It was not quite because liking men could still get you tossed head-first out of the navy. But teenage boys be teenage boys. That never changed.
But it was terrifying. Because as soon as anyone of the guys knew he liked boys, they’d assume he was always up for a quickie, and they’d be quite insistent about it as well if they weren’t quite sober.
That’s how he met Nick Bradshaw.
Nick was a few years older and married, but quickly he became Pete’s best friend. When Nick became Goose and Pete became Maverick, they were inseparable: pilot and RIO.
Maverick was a flirt of class and just like in high school, he developed a rep he didn’t quite know what to do with. He couldn’t hope to live up to it, and most women didn’t see such a reputation as a good hallmark of a man they wanted to keep around for any time.
Penny was the admiral’s daughter. Maverick had a crush on her, but as per usual, she, like many others, took his hesitance as disinterest and moved on. Because a guy that looked like Pete Mitchell couldn’t possibly be insecure, right?
Charlie knocked him off his feet, but his gentle push for something serious beyond the flirtation put them dead in the water before any true intimacy occurred. He was too young for her.
Then Goose died.
Iceman expressed an interest, but wasn’t willing to lose his career for it. Even at TOP GUN he knew he needed a wife to rise in the ranks; to be seen as reliable. Pete, having some self-respect, wasn’t willing to be second fiddle.
As an adult reflecting on his own state of mind, Maverick knew that his mental health wouldn’t be able to handle a relationship without reliability in his mate. His heart cracked a little when Sarah became pregnant, but it made him all the happier he’d withstood Ice’s advances. As the years passed, Ice proved he was serious in his affections by always having Maverick’s back. He pushed, trying to make Maverick understand it just couldn’t be in public for the sake of both their careers. Maverick did understand. It just wasn’t good enough.
It was hard.
The navy didn’t have a culture that enabled steady romances, and he was never stationed anywhere long enough to really develop an interest in anyone. And when he did, his reputation preceded him to a point where yet again, they’d perceive his reluctance to jump into bed with them either as a sign of disinterest, baiting, or an outright insult. He was far past the point where he felt he could just jump into it.
To Maverick’s surprise, as the years passed, Ice’s affection deepened, while his own reduced to ambivalence… rather, nostalgia for the life they could have had if Ice had only dared. When Don’t Ask Don’t Tell was repealed in 2010, Ice offered to divorce his wife and marry him outright in whichever state allowed.
It was tempting. But with Bradley refusing to acknowledge his existence, Maverick felt like he’d be destroying another family. That was what he told Ice anyhow. Privately, he had trouble letting go of being the second choice to convenience.
Too little too late.
Besides, if Ice had been serious, he would have divorced Sarah anyhow and gone for it. But that’s always how he’d been. Tom Kazansky earned his callsign; Iceman; every decision was practical. Despite being a great pilot, Ice always kept one boot on the ground, and that was what made Maverick better; he dared to fly.
It wasn’t until his funeral that Maverick realised exactly how much Ice had loved him.
He’d told Sarah.
As she passed walked past Ice’s coffin and handed him the flag in full view of the numerous admirals and generals from other branches. Even the president was there. With a firm voice, she spoke. “I was always a placeholder for what he couldn’t have.”
His eyes had been blurry with tears, and his throat tight and raw.
“He loved you.” It was the first time she cried the whole day. “He wanted to marry you.”
Maverick looked away.
“Did… did you… did you have an affair?” Maverick sucked his teeth and Sarah wasn’t sure if she’d offended him or if he was about to tell her something she didn’t want to hear.
By the time he managed to speak, most people had retreated to a respectful distance. “Ice never loved me; he loved his fantasy. If he actually loved me… Iceman wasn’t afraid of anything…” What a fucking lie. “You were never a placeholder. He just misses being young at TOP GUN.” Maverick stopped short as he realised he’d used the present tense. “He kissed me once. In ‘88. That’s as far as anything ever went. There was never anyone but you.” Once more he pushed the flag back at her.
It was true. That was as far as anything went. Although the kiss was hot and heavy with Maverick crushed under Ice’s larger body, thighs bracketing strong and narrow jean-clad hips. He’d earn nothing breaking a widow’s heart by admitting to Ice’s drunk calls, his pleading, his begging for a chance to undo his mistake of ever letting him go.
But it seemed like she knew anyhow. “Maybe he was faithful, but in heart, he was always in the skies with you.” Sarah lifted her chin, trying to keep her tears in. Maverick didn’t respond. “Thank you-” Her voice shook. She placed her hand on his. “Please, don’t be a stranger.”
Safe was a feeling Maverick didn’t truly experience until months after the mission when Bradley trapped him against the wall, towering over him, lips slotting together. “I’m sorry-” Bradley whispered, not quite sober. “I couldn’t keep it in any longer.”
Bradley had endless patience for Maverick’s anxiety, hang-ups, and doubts. Although he had been surprised to learn it wasn’t just because of Goose, and certainly not because of the military attitudes and having served pre-DADT. Maverick had always been open with his affections.
No, the shock was something else.
Learning that the well-known playboy of the navy was not even the slightest interested in sex unless it came as a package deal of romance, of love, and more so, he was not a man that fell in love easily. At nearly forty, Bradley was far beyond any notion of putting any value on chastity or virginity. If anything, it was a bother.
But he’d fantasised about Maverick since he was a teenager, and whatever doubts Maverick had, Bradley was more than happy to dispel. It took another half a year. Then he proposed. Maverick said yes. They waited for their wedding. They didn’t plan it, it just worked out that way.
Bradley had been gentle but he still took his time to take Maverick apart until he cried, sobbing while he came untouched on his thick cock. He took great pleasure in making sure Maverick was as unsteady as a colt many a morning. When on the carriers for missions, he made sure to keep his delightfully vocal lover quiet as well.
After a year of running TOP GUN, Maverick had to choose between retirement and actually accepting a promotion. It hadn’t been easy though; plenty didn’t want to give it to him and they were honest about why.
“You must understand Admirals must present a certain moral standing… there must be trust… I understand you and Iceman were-”
Which was hilarious considering everyone and their mother knew the men in front of him were as faithful as dogs in heat.
“Full disrespect intended,” Maverick barely withheld a sneer. “It’s none of your fucking business.” He looked them each in the eye. “There was no affair. Ice was in love with me, but he made his choices. His regret was never my fault, nor my problem.”
“And they called him iceman…”
“I call it self-respect.”
Surprisingly, they all accepted that. Of course, it helped that the grapevine fed them that Sarah Kazansky and her children all came to Maverick’s wedding.
Once he accepted one promotion, they kept coming. Turns out he knew more than anyone about airborne strategy. Go figure. Within a decade, he had his own chair in President’s War Room.
And it turned out, Admirals did indeed fly.
In fact, Admiral’s would fly whenever the hell they wanted to.