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Someone's pacing outside Katsuki's door.
Normally, this would be a non-issue: Katsuki can just jam some headphones on and get back to studying because, no matter what the world says about his "anger" ""issues"", he does have the ability to ignore minor inconveniences. But this pacing has been going on for, what, like 6 minutes already?
The pacing's no longer a minor inconvenience if it's gone on for more than 300 seconds, is his point. Katuski thinks that an intervention is extremely justified.
So he wrenches open the door and shouts at the guy's annoying face.
"Stop fucking pacing!"
Midoriya Izuku has the decency to look embarrassed. He looks down at his feet and finally stops pacing.
"Sorry," Izuku says. "I didn't mean to bother you."
Katsuki raises his eyebrows. "Well, you did."
Izuku winces. "I'll just get out of your hair then. See you la--"
"Shut the fuck up," Katsuki says. Izuku shuts the fuck up. "Why the hell were you burning the fucking floor outside of my room?"
"I wasn't burning the floor," Izuku defends.
"Ignoring the fact that the force of your legs can probably cause an honest-to-God seismic event," Katsuki drawls. "7 minutes and 20 seconds! That's the time your wussy ass was pacing until I opened the door. No shit you burned the floor— the carpet's gone black, you idiot. And you still didn't answer my question. Why the fuck are you here?"
"I need to tell you something," Izuku declares. "It's important."
"So is the shitty floor."
"I mean," Izuku intones. "It's something I think you deserve to know."
Oh shit, Katsuki thinks.
"Oh shit," Katsuki says. Your honor, Katsuki's face does not soften. He just forces his frown to be less... frowny. "What do you want to tell me?"
Izuku opens his mouth. Then closes it. Opens his mouth— then closes it.
"Well?" Katsuki demands.
"I'm building up to it, okay."
"You're building up to be a goddamn disturbance of the peace, that's what." Katsuki sighs, heavy and put-upon. "Come in, then."
"Huh?"
"If you're going to be building up to something, might as well come into my room instead of being a nuisance in the hall." And because Katsuki isn't physically able to be even slightly nice, he adds: "Fucker."
"Er," Izuku starts. "I mean, if I'm bothering you, it's really not that necessary. I'm sure you're busy and—"
Katsuki shoves Izuku through the doorway and sits him down onto the bed. He brings over his study chair for himself and sits himself down as well: if this is what Katsuki was beginning to suspect it was, they needed to have this conversation eye-to-eye.
Izuku fidgets and runs his thumb over the scarring on his hands. "You know, Kacchan, I really won't mind if we put this off until a later date."
"Well, I mind. I want to get back to work already."
"What are you working on? I could just help you with that instead!"
Katsuki stares. He answers, "I'm working on a poison to kill you in your sleep."
Izuku, instantly: "That wouldn't work. When I went all vigilante a while back, I started ingesting incrementally increasing amounts of conventional poisons. You know, to build my immunity. You could probably shoot an elephant tranquilizer into me and I'd think it was a really good painkiller. Plus, I already asked Yaoyorozu to make me a batch of general antitoxins and antidotes so that way I--"
"Izuku," Katsuki says.
"Yes."
"What did you want to tell me?"
Izuku runs a hand through his hair and takes a few deep breaths. "So. Um. Can I ask you a question first?"
"You alreadydid, you goddamn--"
"What are your thoughts on the LGBT community?"
Katsuki blinks. Blinks again and realizes that the next words he says have got to be perfect because this is a Big Fucking Moment. Because when Izuku asks questions out of curiosity, he's never this nervous; so this question isn't for the sake of finding information. It means something to the nerd, clearly, and Katsuki is reminded almost painfully of a younger version of him.
And normally it would be easy to find the words that he needs because he's Bakugo Katsuki and he knows this shit by heart— except his mind is inexplicably empty of any thoughts about queerness and acceptance and all the things that he would have liked to hear because he's Bakugo Katsuki and he doesn't know how to deal with emotions.
So he doesn't speak.
Izuku takes his silence the wrong way and promptly starts freaking out.
"You know what, Kacchan?" Izuku makes to stand from the bed. "Forget I asked. I don't know what I was talking about, anyway, so you can just go back to—"
"Izuku. Shut up." Izuku shuts up. Katsuki forces him to sit back on the bed. Katsuki takes a very deep breath and wonders, very briefly, "I'm only going to say this once, so listen up.
"I think that the LGBT community is goddamn incredible. Queer people have historically been treated like fucking dogshit, especially by governments and societies as conservative as ours, but the fact that the community still fights and strives for a better future despite all of that speaks to the sheer goddamn bravery and heroism of queer people. I'll blow up any bigot who thinks otherwise."
Izuku blinks. Blinks again and Katsuki realizes that maybe the guy was just looking for a simple answer. Well, too late. Izuku's just lucky that Katsuki didn't do his explosion-themed lecture on the history of discrimination against queer people in Japan.
"Wow, ah. Huh," Izuku says with all the vocabulary of a toddler. "I didn't expect that."
Katsuki sneers. "What the hell? The shit I said was just common sense."
"No, I mean— well, this is going to sound stupid now, but I just thought you were—"
"You thought I was homophobic?"
"...kinda. Yeah."
Katsuki sighs. "I can see why you would think that. Because I was an asshole. And also because, with the way that our society works, we can never guarantee if someone is a decent person or if they'll beat you up just for supporting the LGBT community. But, in my case, it's mostly the asshole thing."
"Yeah. You were."
"I was the biggest fucking dickwad," Katsuki continues. "But at least I was never a homophobic dickwad. Then again— it would have been so goddamn ironic if the gay guy turned out to be a homophobe."
"Wait, what?"
"I wish I was joking, but homophobic gay guys do exist. It's this whole fuckin' shebang with internalized homophobia or repression or goddamn—"
"No, I meant— you're gay?" Izuku sputters.
Katsuki stares at him. At his oldest and most intelligent friend, who knows him better than anyone else and who has an IQ of 140 on a bad day.
"Izuku," he starts. "Don't tell me you didn't know that I was gay."
"Well. Well— you never told me?"
"Christ on a bike," Katsuki mutters. "You're hopeless."
"How was I supposed to know?!"
"Idiot." Katsuki holds up his wrist and points to the one wristband he made fireproof so that he could always wear it: "Tell me the colors of this wristband."
"Red, orange, yellow, green, blue and purple. It's..." Izuku sounds confused— and then: "Oh my God, it's a rainbow."
"You're by far the stupidest fucking—"
"In my defense, I don't pay attention to your wrists most of the time. And that's, like, the only indicator that you're gay!"
Katsuki stares at him. "Look behind you. Tell me the colors of the flag that you see."
Izuku leans to the side. Makes a face. "...it's a rainbow. Okay, you've made your point."
"I swear to God, do people think I have a fucking pride flag in my room just because it's good decor?"
"In my defense," Izuku says. "I'm not the... brightest crayon in the box."
"Have I not literally dated men?"
"Wait, what, when— but, fine, you've made your point. Can I ask another thing? I promise you can beat me up later, but can I ask this one thing?"
"What's the point of asking if you're already—"
Izuku ignores him: "When'd you first know you liked guys?"
Katsuki tries very hard to keep his voice normal. Like he's just shooting the shit with any of his other friends instead of handling what very well might be a sexuality crisis. He says, "Dunno."
"Really?"
"Don't take my word for it. Other people have other experiences. I know Kaminari had this big bisexual awakening some months back. But, me, I've always known. Hell, I thought it was normal. I thought everyone liked guys until, turns out, they didn't. So I started calling myself gay when I was 10, and I haven't stopped since."
"Wow." Izuku whistles. "That's young."
"Was it?" Katsuki questions. "We were both sure as fuck that we wanted to be heroes when we were 4."
Izuku ponders that for a moment. "Still. Most people don't know themselves that young."
"It depends. You know how some quirk training progresses differently for each person?" Izuku nods. "Some people— ahem, yours truly— have it all figured out from age 5. Other people like Kirishima only come into their own at 16. And people figure it out at 20, 30, whatever. It's relative to everyone."
"Yeah, but... to live openly about it? That's pretty brave, I think."
"Well, it's not like I could go back into the closet," Katsuki confesses. "Not when the three things that my aunts and uncles and cousins know about me is that, one, I have an impressive Quirk; two, I'm always cranky; and, three, I'm homosexual." Katsuki adds on, "Especially not when my parents have been putting out a big fuckin' pride flag on the house every June since I was 13."
"Still. It's brave."
Katsuki opens his mouth. Then closes it.
He has no idea how to respond to Izuku.
Because when people talk about his being gay— well, that's the thing. They don't talk about his being gay. Straight people like his mom or his dad don't see the need to bring up the topic of his sexual orientation unless the conversation is about Katsuki's (non-existent) love life.
It's an acceptance of his sexual orientation, sure— but it's a very shallow understanding of what his sexual orientation actually entails.
His parents and his extended family and some of his friends summarize that part of him in one line: "Yeah, Katsuki likes men." And, while that is true, it's not the whole truth. He wishes his parents would realize that this kind of thing is more than a one-liner or a brief descriptor; he wishes they would realize that his being gay affects the way that he perceives the world.
His parents don't talk about how Katsuki always needs to think of the next person he meets, and how that person could be the one to curse out his identity. They don't talk about how people like him on the news who are being discriminated against and hurt just because of who they are. They don't even talk about the possibility that Katsuki might never get married: not because he doesn't want to, but because it's legally not possible.
So when Izuku calls him brave— when the majority of the world would rather that part of Katsuki not exist— it's kind of a Big Heartwarming Moment for Katsuki.
He scowls so that he can hide how misty his eyes are.
"Fuck off," he says, voice shaking. Izuku smiles benevolently. Katsuki coughs into his hand and continues in a smaller voice, "Thanks. Not a lot of people say that."
Both of Izuku's eyebrows shoot up into the stratosphere. He says, "It's basic human decency."
Katsuki scoffs at that. Izuku, of all people, should know that things that are supposed to be common— like decency or quirks— really aren't as common as they should be.
"You're good at this," Katsuki remarks.
"At what?"
"The— thing. That you're doing," Katsuki says, gesturing around in futility.
"That is not helping."
Katsuki says the worst possible thing that he can say: "The whole enchilada."
"The swole chihuahua??"
"I mean," he says, once he's become a functioning human being. "The supportive straight ally deal you have going on."
"Oh." Then, plainly, as if he were just stating another fact: "Well, you're wrong."
"Fuck no, I'm not. You're brilliant. That shit you just said about bravery? Lots of people need to hear that, and even more people should say it."
"I'm not refuting that," Izuku says. "It's just the whole straight ally thing."
Oh boy, Katsuki thinks. Here it comes.
"Because I'm not straight."
Katsuki, without hesitation: "Thanks for telling me. I'm honored that you told that to me."
He pats Izuku's shoulder for good measure and hopes to God that his face isn't showing anything.
Katsuki continues: "If you have any questions about the whole not-straight thing, you can always come to me."
"Yeah," Izuku says.
"I promise I won't murder you, as long as you're not annoying. And if at any point you want to change your pronouns, tell me. I will also give you one free pass of me tolerating you if you want to go to Pride in June."
Izuku stares at him strangely.
Katsuki stares back.
Izuku stares at him some more, raising an eyebrow.
Katsuki sneers at him.
Izuku tells him, "You're being too nice to me."
"No, I'm not. This is how I normally am."
"No, if you were being normal, you'd be all, Grr, Deku, just because you're gay doesn't mean I'll stop kicking your fucking ass. Grr. "
Katsuki grits his teeth. "I'm trying to be the bigger person here."
"I know you want to say something. So just say it."
"I don't want to say anything, loser."
"Kacchan, a bit of friendly advice: if you're gonna lie, don't lie to the guy who's known you for more than a decade."
"No," Katsuki says. "I don't want to say anything! Because I have nothing to say about your coming out apart from the fact that I wholeheartedly support you!"
"You know, you don't curse when you lie," Izuku says. He looks at the clock on the wall pointedly. "And you haven't cursed in a minute."
The clock ticks on. Izuku relaxes on his seat as Katsuki, fuming, tries to pulverize Izuku with his mind.
"Bastard," Katsuki swears. "Alright, fine, I did want to say some shit but I thought it was out of place so, like any good person with passable social graces, I did not say that shit."
"First of all, it's really funny that you think you have passable social graces." Katsuki looks indignant; Izuku just continues, deliberately ignorant. "Second of all, it's fine. Say what you want. It's not like it'll be worse than the fact that I suddenly went 'no hetero' after 16 years of living."
"About that." Katsuki winces. "I kinda..."
"Kinda what? Sorry, didn't hear you there."
"I kinda... already..."
"Yeah?"
"Knew."
"Knew what, Kacchan?"
"Knew that you were— uh." Katsuki bends his wrist. "Not straight."
Izuku blinks at him and says simply, undeniably, "What."
"Yeah."
"No, you didn't," Izuku argues. "Because I didn't know. How the hell could you have known?"
"You were kinda maybe obvious as fuck."
Izuku blinks again. "No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Remember when they held that Who's The Hottest Hero challenge a while back? And you talked about how handsome Hawks was for a whole goddamn hour?"
"That doesn't count since I was talking about objective attractiveness."
"When you kept following that one guy around for weeks in first grade because he gave you some crackers that one time?"
"What— you noticed that?" Katsuki nodded. Izuku defended, "It could've been platonic?"
"Sure, because that was as heterosexual as Oscar Wilde." Katsuki rolls his eyes, but keeps going: "When we had a career day, and we were supposed to wear the costumes of our dream jobs. You come in, wearing a fucking skirt because you said that it was part of your hero costume."
"Just because I like skirts doesn't mean that I'm queer," Izuku says.
"Whatever you say."
"Okay, you know what— fine. So if I was so obvious about it, why didn't you just tell me and save me some years of questioning?"
"Let me get this straight—"
"Neither of us are straight, but sure."
"You would have preferred that I— your literal fucking bully for, like, a good couple of years— call you gay at a time when you didn't even know fuckall about yourself?"
"If you put it that way, it's never going to sound nice."
"Because I was not a nice fucking person!"
"...still. I would have appreciated it if someone gave me a heads-up."
Katsuki sighs. He grabs Izuku by the shoulders and tries very hard to communicate, through the pressure of his hands and the intent of his gaze, to convey what he means. It's a very intense moment in his opinion.
Izuku takes it all the wrong way.
"What are you doing," Izuku asks as the guy who once named himself Lord Explosion Murder death-glares him. "If you're having some kind of dramatic monologue about whether or not you want to confess your big gay feelings for me, I'll admit that you're not my type but we can make it work."
"Fuck off and die, nerd," Katsuku retorts instantly. "I'm trying to tell you that like..."
"Like?"
"How do I say this…"
Deku replies, "I am, in fact, the hottest queer hero."
"You're not: Todoroki's got you beat." Katsuki clamps his hands down more forcefully. He hopes it comes off as a sign of redoubled focus rather than a very strange murder attempt. "I'm trying to tell you to not worry about it."
Izuku clasps Katsuki's wrists with his own hands. "Worry about what?"
"Don't worry about not getting that heads-up that you wanted. Don't worry that you didn't realize as early as other people did. Don't worry that you only found out about this part of yourself at the ripe old age of 16.
"Everyone has their own timeline, and we all move at our own pace. Regardless if you found out now or 5 fuckin' years ago or 5 years from now, I'd still support you like all hell, Izuku."
Izuku doesn't respond for a hot second. He's blinking really quickly and trying (but failing) to appear composed and unaffected but Izuku ends up looking like an overemotional teenager with an eye condition. Emphasis on the overemotional part: those are definitely tears coming down Izuku's face.
Katsuki realizes, abruptly, that those words mean a lot to him. To them. To their whole relationship.
"I, uh," Izuku falters, voice weak and thin. "Appreciate that. A lot."
"You're welcome. Dumbass."
A pause. Katsuki scoffs, looks off into the distance and pretends to ignore the way that Izuku is wiping his eyes.
In a whisper: "Still don't know, though." Izuku wrings his hands.
"What do you mean?" Katsuki questions.
"What to call myself. The label I'll use. Because I know I'm not gay, but I know I'm not straight. I might be bisexual, but I might be pan or I might be— I don't know."
"You don't have to know. I'm sure as hell you're doing a fuckton of research on labels as it is, so it'll come to you. Eventually. If it doesn't, that's fine as well."
Katsuki idly starts up some small firecrackers on his palm. They pop and look like danger, but the little explosions are harmless but for the noise they make: all bark and no bite. One of the gentler applications of Katsuki's power.
Not to mention that his firecrackers are the perfect excuse for Izuku to lay his hand over Katsuki's hand.
"Kacchan," he whispers. Like a secret. "Katsuki. Thank you."
And before he can say anything like FUCK OFF or JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, Katsuki's pulled into a hug.
"Fuck off!" he manages, anyway, because Katsuki is always an achiever. He tries to get out of the hug, but Izuku is quite literally all 185 pounds of Japan's strongest (and most traumatized) hero. "Jesus fucking Christ! Get off me, you waste of air."
"Nah. I like this."
"Fuck you, sincerely."
And Katsuki reluctantly, and with much grumbling and cursing, hugged his best friend back.