Work Text:
Fukurodani Captain Akaashi Keiji
Hello everyone, how is everything going?
Alum-nerd
Good, Kenma’s just helping me check over everything right now!
Professional GAYmer
You’re mumbling to yourself and looking up at me every once in a while, that’s not me helping
Alum-nerd
C’mon kitten, I’m trying to show my gratitude for you keeping me company 😩
Fukurodani Captain Akaashi Keiji
I take it you’re currently playing the new game Kuroo-san got you, Kozume?
Professional GAYmer
Yes
Fukurodani Captain Akaashi Keiji
How is it?
Professional GAYmer
Meh
It’s taking a while to get to the actual story, there’s definitely some things they could’ve cut
The graphics are good though and the controls are easy enough once you learn how to use them
Fukurodani Captain Akaashi Keiji
Then I’m glad to hear it
The Top One of One!!!
Ooo Kenma!! Is it the one you were telling me about like… I think a week ago or something???
Professional GAYmer
Yeah
Don’t worry, it’s not disappointing
Just slow
Fukurodani Captain Akaashi Keiji
There you are, Bokuto-san
I was wondering where you were
The Top One of One!!!
Hey hey hey ‘Kaashi!!!
Fukurodani Captain Akaashi Keiji
Hello :)
Alum-nerd
:O A smile!!!
Professional GAYmer
:o
Alum-nerd
What a truly astonishing effect the power of love has had on our beloved Akaashi Keiji!!
Fukurodani Captain Akaashi Keiji
😒
I expected this from Kuroo-san but I never would’ve expected you to betray me like this, Kozume
Professional GAYmer
:)
Alum-nerd
Lol you love me 😏
Anyways
How’s the packing going, Bo?
Fukurodani Captain Akaashi Keiji
Yes, has it been alright so far?
The Top One of One!!!
…
I haven’t started yet…
Alum-nerd
Would you like us to help you out, dude?
The Top One of One!!!
Really???
Alum-nerd
Sure thing!
The Top One of One!!!
Really really sure???
Alum-nerd
Yeah, no sweat!
The Top One of One!!!
Ok but it’s totally fine if you don’t feel like it, yeah? I promise I can do it if you don’t!!
Around 20 minutes after that, the three of them are at his front door and taking their shoes off in the genkan before following him upstairs to his room. Though Kuroo offered, Bokuto’s still a little surprised that they actually showed up, most of all Kenma. Not only that but the Nekoma setter doesn’t even seem bothered by Kuroo dragging him over to help (or at least keep them all company), quiet sounds coming from his handheld as they all enter his bedroom, Bokuto unsure of what to even say now that they’re all actually here.
“Let’s get a checklist started then,” Akaashi says first after no one says anything, going to sit politely on Bokuto’s bed whereas Kuroo just flops down onto the chair at his desk.
“Huh?” Bokuto only asks dumbly as he looks at Akaashi, sitting down next to him. He tries not to preen too noticeably as Akaashi scoots over a bit to subtly press into his side.
“A checklist will likely help make sure that we don’t miss anything. Rather than trying to recall everything as we’re packing it, we would just have to look at what we wrote down and it will make the process less stressful and energy-demanding,” Akaashi explains to him as he takes out a notebook and pen that Bokuto didn’t even notice Akaashi apparently brought with him.
“Oh.” Bokuto nods slowly, processing the explanation for a moment which honestly takes him longer than it should. “Yeah, that’s uh- That’s actually really smart, I didn’t even think of that I guess! I dunno why, it seems super obvious now,” he laughs out awkwardly.
“You’ve had other things on your mind, it’s understandable that you might not have thought about it.”
“We should go by category so we can compartmentalize everything,” Kenma suggests quietly from where he’s curled up into the beanbag chair in Bokuto’s room. “Like what room it goes in or the use for it.”
Akaashi makes a noise of agreement, nodding. “That’s a good idea, Kozume, thank you.”
In his notebook, Akaashi marks out various sections for everything Bokuto will need to pack and the four of them start coming up with a list, spending a good 2 or so hours on it. Despite how tedious it is, Bokuto feels a little better about things as the three of them help him with this, his best friends and boyfriend continuing on even when he occasionally zones out or gets distracted by something or has to get up and shake out his hands and arms, unable to keep his focus solely on the task. It sounds silly that it feels like they got a lot done just by writing out a dozen lists, but even though they haven’t packed up a single item, so much of the task feels like it’s been taken off his shoulders as they take a break when they’ve finished up with that.
Eventually though, they finally get to putting things in boxes, him and Kuroo going around his room while Akaashi reads off the respective list to them and Kenma moves things around so that they’re able to fit as much as possible in each of the boxes. Though Kenma does it begrudgingly in the beginning even if he doesn’t verbally complain about it, he suddenly seems fired up to help out when Bokuto tells a joke to him about it being like a real life game of Tetris and how maybe it could help him “level up.” At the very least, Bokuto’s happy to know that Kenma can have at least a little fun with this even though Bokuto would definitely agree that it’s not the most exciting way to spend the end of their break before the new school year.
As they’re starting to pack away all of his volleyball gear, Bokuto takes a look around the room, just sitting in front of one of the boxes. It’s now pretty noticeable how different his room looks, many of the things cluttering his desk and nightstand and making visual noise now packed away in the boxes pushed up against the wall, the slew of dirty (and clean) clothes strewn around the room having been gathered up to wash so he can get them packed too.
Noticing that he’s stopped moving, Akaashi looks over at him. “Bokuto-san.”
“Hm? What’s up ‘Kaashi?”
“Is everything alright?”
Bokuto’s breath hitches just a little for some reason, and he presses his mouth into a thin line, glancing over as the other two’s eyes move to look at him too.
Letting out a quiet, slow breath, Bokuto just nods, looking down at his hands as he folds them in his lap.
“Yeah, yeah I’m ok,” he mutters out quietly, thinking for a moment how to word his thoughts as the three of them give him that time, which he’s more than grateful for. They can tell he has more to say and while normally he’d think to himself that ‘Of course you’d have more to say, Koutarou, when are you not constantly yammering about whatever stupid things pop into your head when no one’s even asked you?’, right now it seems important enough to actually matter to them, enough to warrant their endless patience when it comes to him as he scrambles for his fragmented thoughts and tries to piece them together.
“This suddenly just sort of feels real to me now, you know? Trying to get myself to think about it didn’t do anything but now that you guys are helping me with packing things away and like, we’re actually putting things from my room in boxes and everything, I kinda just got hit with the fact that I’m gonna be moving. That I’m gonna be away from you and Kenma and my mom and sisters, my team too,” he explains to Akaashi after a moment, his boyfriend listening intently.
He’s been aware of this coming, he and Kuroo have been planning for it for a few months now. While it had been a surprise to him that he’d even managed to pass the college entrance exam (though for some reason, it hadn’t surprised Akaashi, Kuroo, and Kenma when he’d found out and told them), both he and Kuroo were going to be attending the same university, not too far from home but far enough that it would be noticeable. It’s not like this was a new thing all of a sudden, he’d known about it for long enough that he was aware that it was going to happen, but for some reason, it really hadn’t gotten to him until right now, and maybe part of it was because here were two of his closest friends and his boyfriend, helping him with the transition into a new stage of his life. The three of them had initially marked the start of one chapter and now they were here to witness another, to hopefully still be a part of it. It’s all just a lot to process, and he hasn’t been able to start doing so until now it seems.
Letting out a breath, Bokuto looks up at the ceiling of his room as the three of them are still listening intently. “And I know it’s gonna be a good experience for me, I don’t think it’s not or anything! But it’s just… I don’t know if I’m ready for this at all… I don’t want to-!” Bokuto’s sentence is cut off as he finds himself letting out a sudden laugh, shaking his head. “I don’t want to disappoint everyone when I’m not able to handle it like I should just because I’m gonna miss you and I don’t want to leave my mom and I’m sorta.. upset at the idea of not being able to play with my team anymore. I know there will be new people I’ll meet on my new team and that it’s a chance for me to make some more friends but I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop considering Fukurodani as my team, my family… I know I should look on the positive side of things though, I know I’ll figure everything out and it’ll be ok. Anyways, sorry about that, just had that thought all of a sudden,” he chuckles out quietly, smiling wistfully at Akaashi, Kuroo, and Kenma before looking back down to the box in front of him to keep putting things in.
“We figured that you might be struggling with this, Koutarou, that’s why we offered to come over and help,” Akaashi says softly from in front of him and he looks up at that, tilting his head a bit as Akaashi matches the melancholy in his expression with a wistful smile of his own. “A lot is changing, it’s understandable that you’d be a little scared about what will happen.”
“But shouldn’t I be looking on the bright side? I mean, everyone’s telling me how this is gonna be such a good experience for me and how it’s going to pave the way for my future, and they’re right, yeah? I shouldn’t be just…” Bokuto thinks for a moment before letting out a sigh, his smile dropping completely. “Everyone’s telling me that I have so much to look forward to now. I have my whole life ahead of me and I’m just sad and scared,” he finally admits, a heavy ache settling deep into his chest.
That’s the feeling that he’s been trying to put off for the past few days—the past few months if he’s truly being honest with himself—that’s why he’s been unable to get himself to start packing for this move even when he and Kuroo are moving in two days. There are so many changes going on all at once and it’s overwhelming, his life is going to be changing completely and he knows that with this move, nothing’s going to be the same as before, and he doesn’t feel able to handle any of it. This is supposed to be such an exciting time, teenagers are usually ecstatic to have new senses of freedom after graduation, but he feels none of that because he’s not even used to the way his life is now and he doesn’t know if he’d ever be able to, even if he did have a little more time.
There are so many things in his life that he doesn’t understand and hasn’t been able to figure out, and what he does have is thanks to Akaashi Keiji entering his life, the first person who noticed and understood this part of him and who he is as a person that was so fundamentally and innately him. No one’s connected with him in quite a way before, he’s never had such an experience of being seen in his entirety and not just that, but also being seen without judgment of any kind. As much as people could say he’s brought Akaashi out of his shell since the two of them met, he’d argue that Akaashi’s done the same, getting him to open up in new ways that he’s never had the courage to before, and creating stronger bonds with his two best friends as a result. It’s thanks to Akaashi that he understands so much of himself that even he never knew about, let alone everyone else around him, and one of the changes happening in his life will be being away from his boyfriend, this solid and comforting and real presence that he’s become familiar with over the past 2 years. There were so many possible outcomes to what the distance between them could do to their relationship, some good, the two of them perhaps getting closer as a result of the change, and others not so much, the subsequent space having the chance of causing them to realize that things couldn’t work between the two of them. This could possibly make them realize that it was more harmful having each other in their lives than it was to not and that things would be easier if they were to go their separate ways as they move on to the next stage of their lives.
Along similar lines, the same could be said for Kuroo and Kenma.
Living with him could show Kuroo just what he was getting himself into having Bokuto around, a much closer look at who Bokuto is that he hasn’t been able to see in its entirety through texting and calls and training camps alone. Kuroo probably wouldn’t be living with Bokuto for the rest of their lives so little habits of his that bothered Kuroo when they start sharing the same space might not be a big issue in the end, but being around him so often is bound to give Kuroo an idea of who exactly Bokuto Koutarou is, the things that make him tick, and in Bokuto’s mind, there’s the possibility that Kuroo could realize just what it would mean to have in his life and that it’s not something he’d want to be around anymore.
And with Kenma, this could serve as an easy way of letting the relationship they’ve managed to form so far gradually fade out. The end would come quietly, one not easily noticed by the other two until he and Bokuto no longer texted, until they were no longer aware of the things going on in each other’s lives, essentially strangers again as if there was never anything there to begin with. Bokuto is acutely aware that he and Kenma are as vastly different as two people can possibly be from each other and it’s a miracle that he’s even gotten as close to the setter as he has, thanks in no small part to Kuroo bridging the gaps, but miracles can’t possibly hope to preserve a friendship that’s nothing more than mere wisps of connection, than the smallest threads of commonality holding the two of them together. Kenma would finally have the chance to not have to put up with him anymore and honestly, Bokuto wouldn’t even blame him for it.
Bokuto hears some shuffling as Akaashi sits down next to him, holding his arms open in invitation which Bokuto takes instantly, nearly knocking his boyfriend over as he flops into Akaashi’s side. Akaashi catches him though, wrapping his arms around his shoulders as he rubs a hand comfortingly over his arm. “I’m sure that things will turn out just fine, Koutarou, but it’s ok to feel,” Akaashi tells him softly, pressing a loving kiss to his hair. “You have such a wonderful capacity for emotion, you can feel so genuinely and intensely, and it’s amazing that you are able to feel all of that. I know it feels better if those are happy emotions but it’s ok if they’re not, sometimes we just feel sad or scared or angry and that’s just the way it is. Anyone who tries to tell you how you should be feeling doesn’t care about what’s best for you, and they aren’t worth your attention.”
“But if there’s so much I still have to look forward to…” Bokuto mumbles.
Akaashi lets out a hum. “That may be true, but you are also dealing with a lot of changes right now. You will gain some things, but you’re dealing with some losses too. There are some things that are going to be changing that would make you sad, it’s understandable. And you’ve never done this before, it’s all new to you, of course you’d be a bit scared about that,” he reassures, smiling gently down at him where Bokuto’s head is leaning back against his chest.
“Even if they’re not rational, that doesn’t mean your fears are invalid. Your feelings deserve to be taken seriously. It does more harm to pretend that they aren’t there or to tell yourself that they shouldn’t be there. Voicing your anxiety to your friends isn’t a display of weakness, it shows your strength,” Kenma adds in from off to the side, the other three of them looking over at him as he looks in Bokuto’s direction. It’s a bit surprising that he’s adding to this conversation, Bokuto can’t say he was expecting it. “I- That’s something I’ve been.. Working on with my therapist, and given the conversation, I just thought it was relevant…” he trails off nervously, likely starting to second-guess himself as he glances between the three of them quickly, curling up on himself a little in his seat. Upon noticing it, Bokuto makes a point of looking away from Kenma’s direction as he is possibly getting anxious having their eyes all on him, the other two coming to the same conclusion and doing so as well, and though he obviously can’t fully see Kenma now, the Nekoma setter seems to visibly relax. Bokuto hates reading too much into anything that Kenma does, seeing as he often can’t read Kenma very well (much less so than other people), but he can’t help from taking note of the fact that Kenma’s bringing up such a vulnerable subject, especially in front of him of all people. It’s not often that Kenma discusses his mental health and the things he’s working through in therapy so plainly. Though him being able to do that is sort of a testament to the fact that therapy’s really been helping him. It’s hard to argue with those words when it’s coming from the person who’s helped Kenma become more comfortable with communicating with people, so Bokuto can’t dispute the claims even if he wanted to.
“You really think so, Kenma?” Bokuto asks quietly, maybe even sounding a bit hopeful. It could very well be something he’s telling Bokuto because of that being something his therapist has told him, but Bokuto wants for Kenma to mean it, mean it because it’s him he’s telling and Kenma thinks his feelings are important.
“Yes, I do. I’d be scared too, and I know that you’d never judge me if I was the one in your situation,” Kenma tells him matter-of-factly and just hearing that from Kenma is truth enough for him. If Kenma had a different opinion about it, he would say so, Bokuto knows this. He’s never been one to tell people the things they want or expect of him, seeing it as a waste of time for both him and the person he’s talking to. It’s one of the things the two of them have in common actually, and it’s nice to have someone who also feels it’s just easier to say what they actually think about something, even if other people might be bothered by how forward it can be.
Bokuto gives him a slow nod. “It shows my strength, huh?” he asks quietly and Kenma nods in response. “Well I gotta work on building up my strength in all areas, so I guess I’m doing good already,” he chuckles out, smiling slightly at Kenma. He gets a small smile back, causing his stomach to flip just a tiny bit.
“Yes, you’re trying your best and that’s all we ask for,” Akaashi reaffirms.
Turning in Akaashi’s arms to face his boyfriend, Bokuto sits up a bit in order to give him a kiss. Their relationship is still new and they’re both still figuring out how comfortable the other is with displaying affection so he hesitates for a moment, unsure if Akaashi would feel comfortable with him doing that right now with Kuroo and Kenma still in the room. His boyfriend isn’t expressing any signs of discomfort though, so he tentatively presses a kiss to Akaashi’s cheek, promptly burying his face into Akaashi’s neck as he hugs him tightly in order to hide as his face goes red. Akaashi shakes a little from under him, faint sounds indicating that it’s him laughing, as he wraps his arms back around him to return the hug, resting his cheek on Bokuto’s hair. Before Bokuto can stop it, his mind supplies that Akaashi probably thinks he’s being cute right now, and even as he vehemently tries to deny it to himself, the voice in his head tells him that he already knows it’s true. That thought just flusters him more and he hugs on to Akaashi tighter to hide it. The amused hum Akaashi lets out tells him it wasn’t successful.
“Are you feeling a little better now?” Akaashi asks him when he pulls away after a bit.
“Mhm, yeah. It just hit me all at once just now is all.”
“Well that’s ok, it’s a lot to process and it’s ok if you’re struggling with it right now. We don’t expect you to not feel overwhelmed about this. Everything will turn out fine but it’s ok if it doesn’t feel like it.”
“Yeah dude,” Kuroo’s voice says from behind Bokuto, his best friend scooting over to sit by the two of them on the floor and Bokuto turns to face him more. “You’ve got this, everything will be ok," Kuroo promises.
Bokuto takes a deep breath, nodding at him.
"And even if you have trouble figuring all this stuff out, you’re gonna have me right there to help you~!!” Kuroo coos playfully, pulling Bokuto into his lap and teasingly smothering his cheek in kisses which causes him to start giggling uncontrollably. Despite his halfhearted pushes against Kuroo’s arm, Bokuto doesn’t make an effort to stop Kuroo, the two of them laughing as Kuroo keeps bombarding him with affection.
With a fond smile, Akaashi moves to sit by Kenma, the two of them sharing a look before they’re watching their boyfriends.
“They’re cute,” Akaashi comments casually.
Kenma hums in agreement, eyes intently trained on Bokuto and his boyfriend. “Too much for their own good sometimes.”
Akaashi lets out a chuckle. “Very much so.”
The two keep watching as they start to banter with each other at some point, Bokuto’s worries about everything out of his mind for the time being now that he has the three of them there with him. Even though the worry is still there, Bokuto doesn’t bring up any more of his fears when they get back to packing, the four of them talking and hanging out just like always, and when they finish and decide to watch some movies downstairs as they all agree to just sleep over at his house tonight, he doesn’t bring them up for the rest of the night either. He’s been reminded that it’s ok to voice them if it starts to bother him again though, and that the three of them wouldn’t be bothered by him opening up about his problems if he did.
Some things didn’t have to change, he could still hold on to what the four of them have right now.