Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The way Komaeda feels about Hinata is…complicated.

…No, he takes that back. There’s no real point in denying the unmistakable, indisputable, and most of all, infuriating crush he has on the stupid boy. 

He hadn’t really expected it to happen - and not at all with a talentless Reserve Course student. In fact, they were actually the type of people Komaeda would’ve steered clear from in the love department and really, any department. 

And…as embarrassing as it is to admit, he liked to daydream about his very improbable love life. To imagine himself in these cliché settings with the love of his life, to imagine them holding hands while walking underneath cherry blossoms, kissing against the tree, and his partner, whoever they would be, smiling and stroking his cheek and-

And it was pointless, considering he’s literally going to die at some point in the near future. But…he can’t help it. He supposes he’s a hopeless romantic of sorts. 

He figured if he were to delve into some ridiculous, erotic teenage romance with some unfortunate soul at Hope’s Peak, it'd at least be with someone in the Main Course. He was already quite obsessed with their talent - it wasn’t very far off to assume he’d latch onto someone with said talent during his time there too.

…But, no. Of course, it has to be the most boring, most basic student in Hope’s Peak.

…Most beautiful too, perhaps…and sweetest as well…and cutest…and smartest…

Komaeda is abruptly brought out of his thoughts by the sound of the bell, and he flinches, blinking when he realizes that his classmates around him are all gathering their backpacks to leave for the day.

He glances down at his notebook, frowning when he realizes that he’s been drawing pictures of a certain soft-eyed, freckled, Reserve Course student.

He quickly shuts the book, and gets up to begin gathering his own things, wallowing in his own embarrassment of having not even realized he was drawing Hinata. He’d thought that was a thing that only happened in movies, but he supposes that when someone crushes…they crush hard.

Then with a start, and despite all the thinking he’d been doing about Hinata, he suddenly remembers that today is no ordinary day - it’s Friday, which means that he’s supposed to go out with Hinata right after school. Meaning now!

Hinata had invited him out to go shopping with him a few days ago - apparently, he needed a new backpack and it required Komaeda’s assistance. Komaeda was, of course, more than happy to serve.

He also wanted to try out the new ice cream shop down the block with Komaeda too. If Komaeda didn’t know any better, he’d say it sounded a lot like a date…but he isn’t going to make any inferences. Or assumptions. This is definitely just a friendly outing between two, platonic, male friends. (At least, to Hinata, it certainly is.)

After Komaeda bids a quick farewell to his teacher, he leaves the classroom and makes his way outside of the school to meet Hinata. As his heart begins beating faster, and a wave of anxiety ripples through his body, he clutches his bag a bit tighter. 

He isn’t really sure how this…infatuation he had with Hinata even developed. How it was possible, for that matter. Komaeda and Hinata’s relationship had started off terribly. No, terribly didn’t even do it justice - it was horrific, if he remembers correctly. 

He’d gone out to the fountain to meet Nanami - they were meant to work on a project together with one of their other classmates and when he’d seen her laughing and conversing with that infernal Reserve Course student who was somehow always around, he guessed he thought it was about time he introduced himself properly.

…And by introducing himself, he’d called Hinata a “pathetic excuse of a human being that has the nerve to think he’s good enough to be around Nanami-san and Souda-kun” and Hinata had proceeded to dump the soda he’d been furiously clutching in his left hand on top of Komaeda’s head. 

Komaeda had laughed then, having completely expected that type of reaction from someone like Hinata, and he’d stepped back to continue spewing the worst insults he could, voicing all the pent up annoyance and venom he had towards every worthless, talentless student in the Reserve Course department.

Hinata had watched him as he did this with his mouth agape and his cheeks flushed, seemingly confused about Komaeda’s aloof reaction to the soda dripping down his head, and Nanami had been staring at Komaeda in both concern and offense for Hinata. Though it was clear she was at a complete loss of what to do. 

But suddenly, when his eyes caught Hinata’s, and he was met with a fiery green that held a gaze so angry, so passionate, so dangerous, so…unlike anything he’s ever seen before…he stopped.

That anger. Anger could, in a way, be able to birth a new hope, couldn’t it?

When Hinata had raised an eyebrow, and his eyes flashed once more, as if challenging Komaeda to keep talking, he’d felt something in his heart…

Skip a beat.

It was strange.

Hinata had then taken advantage of Komaeda’s sudden silence, and stepped forward to jam a finger in his face and yell things like, “Who do you think you are?!” and “Y-You have no right or place to talk like that, just because you’re an Ultimate! Like, are you kidding me?!” 

And once Komaeda had snapped back into reality, and he’d brought his gaze away from Hinata’s soul-mesmerizing eyes, he’d smiled once more and started to go off on his typical, you’re-just-as-worthless-as-I-am rant, and before he knew it, Hinata was swinging his fist at his face.

When Komaeda stumbled back from the impact and fell to the ground, his head spinning from the strength of the blow, Nanami finally decided it was a good time to intervene by grabbing onto Hinata’s arm and frantically pulling him away from Komaeda - stopping him before his very obvious temper took over.

It’d no doubt leave Komaeda with much more than just a bloody nose. He almost wanted to taunt Hinata for how hilariously easy he was to frustrate, but he managed to stop himself when he saw how serious Nanami looked.

She’d spoken to Hinata urgently, told him to stop with a voice so soft yet so desperate and suddenly, all that anger, that rage, seemed to somehow dissipate from his expression when he locked eyes with hers. 

Something about their friendship had always made Komaeda feel disgustingly bitter - a Reserve Course student and a Main Course student had no business being around each other. Or being as close as they so clearly were.

Or perhaps…he just longed for a friendship of their magnitude.

After she’d finished calming Hinata down, she stared down disappointedly at Komaeda, told him that he wasn’t allowed to speak to her friend that way, and then they’d left Komaeda on the ground but not without Hinata casting a hesitant glance over his shoulder, as if checking if Komaeda was still there. 

He was almost surprised, and offended that Nanami had left with Hinata, but at the same time, he could really care less. It’s not like he wasn’t used to being left alone like this.

He’d sat up, and wiped the blood rolling down his nose with the soaked sleeve of his shirt. Blinking slowly as droplets of soda dripped to the ground from his white curls.

That night, he couldn’t get the vision of Hinata’s eyes out of his goddamn head.

Then, to make matters even more confusing for Komaeda, when he’d seen Hinata standing right outside the school for him the very next day, he nearly thought he’d been imagining him.

But he most certainly wasn’t, because Hinata was literally right there in his stupid, Reserve Course uniform and he’d been rubbing his neck, and holding a box of what looked like…green…cookies?

“Hey…” Hinata muttered.

“Hello.” Komaeda glanced down at the box of cookies in his hands, before snorting derisively.“You bake.”

"They’re for you.”

“...What.”

“I - “ Hinata winced, before letting out a frustrated sigh and staring up at Komaeda helplessly. “Look, I’m sorry. I - what you said to me yesterday was obviously not okay, but…it didn’t give me a right to pour my drink on you…or punch you. I’m sorry.”

Komaeda blinked. Then looked around the campus. “Did Nanami put you up to this?”

“W-What?” 

When Komaeda simply stared back, giving no indication of wanting to elaborate, Hinata cleared his throat and stuttered out a quiet reply of, “No. I - I wanted to do this.”

He looked down at his shoes. “I mean, yeah, she was upset, and she told me to not do it again, but, you know, then I thought back and I’ve never really…done that to anyone before.”

"And I kept thinking about it, and replaying it in my head or whatever and - I just…it was wrong of me. I’m really sorry.” Hinata’s hazel eyes slowly brought themselves up to meet Komaeda’s gaze, and the minute their eyes met, Komaeda felt himself falter. 

Hinata held out the box of cookies to Komaeda, and Komaeda could only hold his breath. Wait for the catch. Perhaps Hinata would throw the box in his face, or smash the cookies on his head. 

But when nothing came, and Hinata’s frown only deepened and his hands tightened and loosened around the box, Komaeda released the breath he’d been holding. 

He took the box.

“Well, I appreciate the apology.” He said slowly. “But you really have no reason to apologize. I was berating you, and being nothing short of disrespectful.”

“Is…that your way of saying you’re sorry too?” Hinata chanced a small smile, and it was so jarring to see it stunned Komaeda. It was almost as alluring as the anger in his eyes yesterday - if not, more so.

“Because if that’s the case, I guess I forgive you.” He said cheerily, which seemed to snap Komaeda out of his daze.

Komaeda let out a wry laugh. “It wasn’t really, because I still stand by what I said.”

“H…Hey!” Hinata widened his eyes, frustration and incredulity beginning to replace his cheeky expression. His gaze landed back down on the box of cookies in Komaeda’s hands, and he reached out to snatch them away but Komaeda side-stepped him easily.

“Give those back!”

“Mm, no, you’ve already given them to me.” Komaeda grinned, enjoying this a bit too much, before reaching into the box and popping them into his mouth.

Green tea cookies. They were pretty good.

“Thank you by the way.” Komaeda mused, with a mouth full of cookies. “They’re not bad for a Reserve Course student.”

“I - ! Y-You’re such an asshole!” Hinata said angrily, his cheeks flushing and that ridiculous piece of hair on his head seeming to stand up straighter. 

“And you’re very easy, Hinata-kun.”

Hinata stared at him in disbelief for another seven seconds, with his jaw slack as Komaeda threw yet another cookie into his mouth.

“Jesus,” Hinata finally murmured, his shoulders beginning to slump, frustration beginning to melt into helpless exhaustion. “Why do I even try…”

Hinata cast one last wary glance at him, before turning away and shoving his hands into the pockets of his uniform, leaving Komaeda with his box of cookies all the while muttering curses underneath his breath.

Komaeda paused, watched as Hinata made his way down the steps of the Main Building’s front entrance, and for some reason, he found himself speaking.

“Hinata-kun.”

Hinata perked up, and turned, looking nothing short of defeated. Komaeda felt something like guilt rise in his chest, and for once, he pushed his pride down for someone other than an Ultimate.

“...I’m sorry too. For how I treated you yesterday.”

Moments of silence passed between them, before Hinata could probably sense Komaeda’s increasing, apparent discomfort and quickly said, “It’s okay.”

He turned around fully then, and stepped forwards again, looking up at Komaeda with big, green eyes.“Are we…can we just start over then?”

Then, the smile returned, and the sun shone down on Hinata like a halo and Komaeda felt the wind get knocked out of his lungs. “Maybe we can be friends.”

Komaeda found the words to be lost on his tongue - hell, his breath had been taken away completely , but when he finally sought out his voice, it came out softer than he’d ever heard it. “Friends. Yes.”

“But I - I wouldn’t push it.” He added, more nervously than he intended it to come out and Hinata only snorted, before giving Komaeda a goofy, half-smile, and leaving without saying anything else. 

Komaeda stood there, watching as Hinata left, a slight bounce to his steps. He clutched the box of cookies to his chest.

Komaeda had no idea that there’d be any coming back from a first impression like that - but somehow, they managed to stay civil in the times they met again. Of course, there were still the bitter comments now and then, and the fiery comebacks, but otherwise, their relationship was…almost pleasant.

Komaeda found himself looking forward to Hinata’s sudden appearances in their classroom, or his awkward ramblings when they’d bump into each other after school.

Then after that…they had found themselves running into each other more and more, and Komaeda hadn’t known at the time, but it was the longest stroke of good luck he’d had in a while. 

Incredibly good luck, in fact, because every time they saw each other, they would talk more, and every time they talked more, Komaeda found himself actually…not minding Hinata’s presence. 

More than that, he enjoyed Hinata’s company. And when snide comments turned into light-hearted banters, and light-hearted banters turned into laughter, and laughter and deep conversations and friendly greetings and long walks home developed into a blossoming friendship…

Komaeda wasn’t completely sure.

But he guessed at one point, he’d been able to identify what that skip in his heartbeat was. 

It’s what Komaeda is feeling now, actually, as he looks around the campus for Hinata’s spiky, brown hair, trying to spot him among the group of Reserve Course students filing out of the building.

He’s pretty nervous and he isn’t even sure why - they’re just going to spend some time together. As friends. Outside of school. There is nothing to be nervous about.

“Komaeda!” 

Komaeda turns to where Hinata’s voice had come from, smiling when he sees him approaching him with his ratty book bag slung across his shoulder. He’d been hoping that seeing Hinata would ease him, but indeed, his heart does not slow down, and his palms don’t become any less sweaty. 

When Hinata comes up to him, Komaeda can see him more clearly now - the freckles dotted across his warm, tan cheeks, and the soft smile dancing across his features. He’s glowing in the sunlight. “Hey.”

“Hello, Hinata-kun.” He greets, his voice coming out slightly breathless but he covers it up by clearing his throat and following up with, “How was your day?”

“It was okay, I guess,” Hinata shrugs, as they turn to begin walking out together. “The English exam didn’t go as well as I thought it would though…”

“Really,” Komaeda hums. “I always thought English was your strongest subject.”

Hinata snorts, glancing sideways at Komaeda as they begin out of school grounds. “Well, clearly, someone doesn’t know me as well as he thinks he does.”

“But it’s true!” Komaeda protests. “Your English is very good, Hinata-kun.”

Hinata lets out an indignant sigh, before smiling softly. “Well, thanks. At least you think so.” He quickly glances at Komaeda, before adding almost shyly, “It means a lot coming from you.”

“Oh? Really? What’s that supposed to mean?” Komaeda asks, leaning down to get a clearer look at Hinata’s face as they’re walking down the sidewalk.

Hinata averts his gaze, mumbling, “Just that you’re smart…”

Oh. Komaeda hadn’t expected Hinata would seriously answer.

Almost like an instantaneous reaction, he feels his ears begin to burn and he leans back up, laughing softly but it comes off slightly shaky even to his ears. “Ahaha, don’t say things that’ll inflate my ego, Hinata-kun.”

Hinata chuckles, shaking his head and Komaeda can tell that he has something he wants to say but as far as Komaeda can tell from the way Hinata’s acting, the conversation has already come to an end. Hinata’s eyes are fixed to the concrete and he’s squeezing and releasing the strap of his bag anxiously. 

Komaeda smiles to himself, choosing to ignore it. He’s sure Hinata is just uncomfortable around him, as people tend to sometimes be - he finds that the realization kind of hurts, but again. He ignores it.

“Anyways, where are we headed for your new bag?”

“Oh yeah.” Hinata looks up, “Well, I was just walking us towards the nearest department store. It’s just a few more blocks - I, uh, go there for school supplies sometimes.” 

“Mm,” Komaeda nods, before throwing a small smirk in Hinata’s direction. “Is it because you’re often unprepared for school?”

Hinata rolls his eyes.“No, it’s because I am prepared, Komaeda. Don’t get it all…twisted.”

“I’m just kidding, Hinata-kun.” Komaeda laughs softly, before playfully brushing one of Hinata’s shoulders with a thin hand. “I know you’re very on top of your school work.”

“Yeah…?” Hinata stops in his tracks all of a sudden to stare at Komaeda in surprise, and Komaeda stops with him, turning on his heels to look back at Hinata.

“Yeah.” He grins. “You’re my favorite Reserve Course student, after all!”

“Y-Your favorite-” Hinata’s mouth drops, before he clamps it back shut and scoffs incredulously. But even then, a smile is across his lips and his cheeks are flushed as he walks past Komaeda and says, “Geez…for some reason, that sounded super back-handed.”

“It’s not!” Komaeda calls out, laughing as he runs to catch back up with Hinata, who’s already walking away from him into the dip of the setting, afternoon sun. 

“I think this is the one,” Hinata says, holding up a yellow, checkered print book bag in his hands. Komaeda hums, looking away from the sling backpacks to see what Hinata is holding.

But the moment he sets his eyes on the bag, which is wearing the most horrendous shade of flaxen yellow, he frowns deeply. “Hinata-kun, please. Not this.”

“What? Why not?”

“Are you really asking me that?” Komaeda takes the bag from Hinata, and holds it up at arm’s length, looking back from Hinata to the abomination of a bag in his hands.

“Not only is this an awful design, but the color would not suit your uniform one bit.”

Hinata crosses his arms defiantly, leaning his weight on one foot. “Black goes with everything,”

“Yes, everything but this.”

“...Well.” Hinata pauses, before pouting and then swiping the bag right back from Komaeda. “M-Maybe it’s not that nice looking, but it’s cheap!”

Komaeda warily eyes the bag clutched in Hinata’s hands. “And don’t you believe there’s a reason for that, Hinata-kun?

“Alright, Komaeda , not everyone is loaded like you.” Hinata rolls his eyes, and Komaeda has to bite back a wince at the words. 

Oh…

Well, he’s definitely not wrong. Komaeda hadn’t even considered that Hinata may be making his decision and weighing his options based solely on the money he has in his pocket and nothing else.

It may sound horribly entitled of him to admit but…it’s been a long time since Komaeda has actually accounted for how cheap, or how expensive something might be when out shopping. Normally, the housekeepers are the ones that buy the groceries for him, and when he’s out shopping himself, he just gets whatever he needs without really considering the price.

“Okay, okay, you’re right.” Komaeda relents. “I’m sorry.”

He gestures towards the bag, his voice softening when he says, “If you need to, we’ll get that one for you. But let’s keep looking, I’m sure there are better, cheaper options. You can do much better than that.”

Hinata pouts some more, looking down at the bag, then back up at Komaeda, and his eyes are adorably large but Komaeda has to ignore it. He has to. This is really not the time to be swooning over Hinata doing virtually nothing.

“Fine,” He finally says, before putting it back to the shelf he’d found it on, and Komaeda’s grin comes out wider than he’d wanted it to, but he can’t really help it.

“Don’t worry, Hinata-kun, we’ll find the perfect replacement bag for you soon.” He says gleefully, more than happy that Hinata had put away the unsightly bag and Hinata only grumbles at him in response, turning back to keep browsing.

Komaeda wanders towards the other aisles, deciding that he’d be able to find more discounts for Hinata if he was able to find the clearance section.  They’ve only been browsing the school essentials aisle after all - Komaeda is bound to find something if he just looks a bit deeper. He’s not completely sure if this department store will even have a clearance section, but there’s no harm in looking.

As he walks through the store, glancing idly at the different aisles he passes and the items left up for display, he stops in his tracks when he sees rows and rows of rollback items, bright, yellow tags on them signifying their discounted prices. He smiles to himself, happy with how fast he’d been able to find it and begins browsing idly. 

There’s not much - only a few sparsely placed items in desperate need for reorganization - including some opened toys, bathing suits, cheap makeup, an expired pack of soda…but no backpacks. He sighs, and already at first glance, he can tell that he’s not going to find anything for Hinata here.

That is, until he glances up and sees a clown mask, likely from the Halloween sales, staring back down at him from its place above the markdown sodas. He frowns, cocking his head.

Curiously, he reaches up and takes it off the rack, widening his eyes when he sees a lone, dark green bookbag dangling right behind it…!

Unhooking the bookbag in one hand and holding the mask in the other, he grins when he realizes how perfect it would be for Hinata - the color is nice, and it looks almost identical to his old one. He’s sure he’s found something Hinata will like - what amazing luck! 

As he’s about to put back the mask in its previous place and leave to find Hinata, he pauses, and stares down at the grinning clown face in his hand. The most amusing idea suddenly comes to him, and he feels himself smile maniacally, before taking both items with him and leaving the aisle. 

Hinata is standing in the same place as he was before, and his back is turned to Komaeda when Komaeda turns the corner. Komaeda chuckles softly to himself, before pulling the clown mask over his head and approaching Hinata as quietly as he can manage.

When he’s an inch from Hinata, he taps on Hinata’s shoulder. “Hinata-kun.”

“What - oh my fucking god!”

Hinata curses, causing several heads to turn his way but he doesn’t even seem to notice when he jumps a full, several inches back and his entire body jolts, his eyes shot wide open in absolute terror. 

Komaeda tries to hold back his burst of laughter, and instead spreads his arms, as if making a show of his get-up. “Well? What do you think?” 

“KOMAEDA!” Hinata cries in horror, instantly clamping his mouth shut and cringing after a few employees shoot him glares. Komaeda breaks his act at the sight of Hinata staring apologetically back at them, and he doubles over in laughter.

Hinata’s head immediately whips back to him, and his cheeks flush angrily, yet the sight is nothing short of adorable. “Y-You think that’s funny?!” He gestures wildly towards nowhere in particular. “We’re in a store!”

“I’m sorry, that was just too good, Hinata-kun!” Komaeda gasps in between short, wheezes of laughter. “You should’ve seen your face!”

Hinata watches Komaeda laugh and wipe tears from his eyes, his jaw slack and his arms hanging limply by his side before huffing, and leaning defeatedly against the shelf. “I hate you,” He grumbles. “So much.”

“Aww,” Komaeda says, his voice spent after having used so much breath and air from laughing his head off, and he turns to Hinata, his heart suddenly skipping a beat when he sees a small, indignant smile on Hinata’s lips.

His head is turned slightly away from Komaeda, but it’s enough to see everything that makes Komaeda so…infatuated.

He approaches Hinata slowly, before stepping close to him - almost pinning him to the shelf he’s leaning on and Hinata widens his eyes, green orbs flicking up to look at him. 

“Well, I don’t hate you, Hinata-kun.” He whispers, smiling down sweetly at Hinata.

Hinata is once again, at a loss for words, the blush across his cheeks only darkening at their proximity before quickly shaking his head, pushing Komaeda away from him and spluttering,

“G-Get - go - we’re supposed to be looking for bags!”

Komaeda laughs, before brightening up at the mention of the bags. “Oh, right!”

He holds out his other hand, which had been in possession of the green bookbag he’d found before and presents it to Hinata happily, “While I was going around the store, I managed to find this. It has a clearance marker on it.”

Hinata takes the bag wordlessly, the previous contempt and chagrin on his face wiped clean. Komaeda smiles nervously. 

“Your thoughts?”

“Huh…yeah, I like this one.” Hinata mutters, before moving the bag around in his hands in a poor attempt to locate the price tag. 

“How much?”

Komaeda leans forward, lifting up the yellow price tag dangling from the strap, and reads to Hinata, “...Only 1800 yen.” 

Hinata visibly brightens up, looking as if he’d just received a present on Christmas morning, and nods enthusiastically. “Yeah, that’s definitely good. And it has a lot of uh,” He takes one of the zippers in his hands and brings it back and forth, murmuring sheepishly. “Utilities?”

“Yes.” Komaeda smiles, his chest warm with ridiculous fondness for the brunette. “Are you going to get it, or would you like to keep looking?”

Hinata surveys it some more, checks inside the bag, locates all the other compartments of the bookbag, before glancing back up at Komaeda and smiling. “I think I’m going to get it. I’ve had enough shopping for today, anyways.”

“We’ve barely even been here for ten minutes!”

“Still.” Hinata laughs, “I don’t think I have the patience to keep looking.”

Komaeda chuckles softly to himself as they start towards the checkout counters. “Okay, okay. Well, I think it’s a good pick, anyways.

He nonchalantly looks back down towards the bag in Hinata’s hands, adding, “And it has a nice color too. It’ll match quite well with your eyes!”

“My -” But before Hinata can finish his sentence, his eyebrows suddenly raise in surprise, and he looks down towards the pockets of his pants. Komaeda frowns as they slow to a stop in the checkout line.

Hinata takes out his phone, which must have buzzed inside his pocket and he watches Hinata’s expression sour as his eyes flick across his screen anxiously.

“Who is it?”

“It’s, um…” Hinata swallows, before closing his phone and blinking in what looks like genuine perplexity. Komaeda gives Hinata a pressing look, silently asking him to finish his thought.

Hinata sighs loudly in exasperation. “So, do you remember Taketa?”

Komaeda frowns, recalling the phone call he’d shared with Hinata just two nights ago. Hinata had been complaining about some project he’d been forced upon in his math class. “I do. She’s your groupmate, isn’t she?”

“Yeah…well, yesterday, she told me that she, uh,” Komaeda watches as a familiar shade of pink begins blooming across Hinata’s face, and he frowns deeper. “...has feelings for me…”

“Oh.”

It takes Komaeda a second to fully process Hinata’s words, his heart stuttering slightly in his chest, which grows warm with what Komaeda can definitely identify as jealousy, before he shoves the feelings away and instead wills an excited smile on his face.

“O-Oh! Hinata-kun! That’s-” He laughs nervously, and Hinata only stares at him in exasperation - Komaeda had reacted like this the first time too. Yes, this is not the first time someone has confessed their feelings to Hinata, much to Komaeda’s dismay.

About a month ago, another girl had confessed her feelings to Hinata, and that had gone much less smoothly, with Komaeda standing in shock for what had to be ten entire seconds before Hinata had to physically shake him out of it.

Komaeda’s not really sure how Hinata hasn’t caught on with Komaeda’s hopeless, pitiful crush on him, but it’s not like he’s complaining about Hinata’s cluelessness.

He’d rejected that girl from a month ago, which had made a large part of Komaeda relieved, but another part…nervous. Who could tell how Hinata would react to Komaeda telling him, considering he ever did?

Komaeda clears his throat, recovering as best as he can manage. “Isn’t this the second person now?”

“Yeah. It’s really freaking weird.” Hinata mutters.

“Well…judging from your reaction, I suppose you told her you didn’t feel the same…unless, ah-”

“Yeah.” Hinata nods, shutting down anything else Komaeda was going to say, and Komaeda feels his shoulders, which had tensed without him even knowing, sag in relief. He hopes Hinata doesn’t notice.

“I turned her down. I’m not interested in her like that.”

“I see.” Komaeda says softly, before glancing down at Hinata curiously. “Why not?”

“It’s just - oh, hold on,” Komaeda hadn't even noticed when they’d reached the front of the line, and he steps back politely as Hinata approaches the cashier to pay for his bag.

Komaeda honestly would’ve offered to pay for one of the more expensive bags for Hinata, but he knows Hinata well enough to know that he’d never let him pay for him like that. 

He’d still like to treat Hinata today though…perhaps he can get him something on the way home. Maybe he’ll pay for the ice cream they wanted to get together? He brightens at the thought, and tries to hide his smile.

When Hinata turns back to him, now with his new book bag slung over his shoulder (he’s still carrying his old, torn-up one across his other shoulder - it’s a funny sight as much as it is endearing) he gestures towards the exit with his head, and together, they leave the store side by side.

“What were you asking me again?” Hinata asks once they’re out of the store.

“Why did you turn Taketa-san down?” 

“Oh yeah.” He sniffs, bringing his gaze to the ground as leaves kick up and around their ankles. The autumn air nips at their noses, and Komaeda wraps his arms around himself.

“Well, I’m not really looking for a, uh, relationship right now. With her, specifically. She’s nice, and smart but she’s not really…my type, I guess?”

Komaeda nods slowly, and a brief, almost awkward silence fills the air between them before Komaeda asks shyly, “What is your type then, Hinata-kun?”

“I - I’m not really sure.” Hinata stutters, the flush reappearing on his face once more. “It’s - It’s just so weird that all of a sudden, all these people are coming up to me and telling me they like me…it’s like someone paid them off to do it, I swear.”

“Hinata-kun,” Komaeda laughs softly, baffled that Hinata could be so pessimistic about something so wonderful - who wouldn’t like having that many people admire you…?

“Is it that hard to believe that you’re just a very…likable person?”

“Yeah, it kind of is. There’s nothing special about me.”

“That’s not true.” Komaeda says immediately, his voice hard with determination, turning his head to stare at Hinata. “You’re amazing, Hinata-kun. Even though you are just a Reserve Course student, you’re unlike anyone I’ve ever met.”

Hinata’s eyes shine as he stares right back at Komaeda, his mouth gaping slightly. Komaeda realizes their proximity - the way their shoulders are brushing as they walk down the sidewalk and he immediately distances them, clearing his throat and clutching on the strap of his own school bag.

“And, t-those girls who’ve confessed to you would beg to differ as well.”

“I - I guess so…” Hinata murmurs, seemingly oblivious to the way Komaeda had practically jumped away from him, before turning to Komaeda once again and cracking a tiny smile.

“Thanks.”

Komaeda nods, returning his gaze to the ground, well aware of his racing pulse. 

If he’d allowed himself to ramble anymore, he’s not sure what would’ve happened. He goes on rants and tangents a lot, that much he knows, but he’s at least able to refrain when it comes to something as stupid as his crush on Hinata.

“Oh, yeah the new ice cream store is just up ahead.” Hinata comments, after a few moments of walking in silence. “You still up to hang out?”

“Mm, no,” Komaeda shrugs, feigning disinterest and watching from the corner of his vision as Hinata’s eyes widen. “I think I’ve had enough Hinata-kun for today.”

“Wh-” He watches as Hinata struggles to respond, clearly not having expected Komaeda to say something like that and flicking his gaze from Komaeda to the ground, and then Komaeda again. He has to contain a laugh at the sight - poor Hinata looks so offended yet confused at the same time.

“I’m kidding, of course I am.”

Hinata makes a small, surprised noise in the back of his throat, before groaning loudly, and turning his head the opposite direction. Komaeda sees the tip of his ears turn red. “G-Geez…this is why I don’t understand how people can even like me…”

Komaeda bursts out in laughter and so does Hinata, his laugh seeming to light up the entire neighborhood as they walk down the sidewalk.

They talk, and talk the entire way to the ice cream shop when Komaeda realizes that the time he spends with Hinata is never a minute wasted. He values his time with Hinata more than he thinks Hinata will ever realize.

He wonders if he feels the same.

The shop is empty when they enter and the smell of sweet chocolate and whipped cream hits them instantly. Hinata’s face lights up and his eyes close while Komaeda’s nose scrunches up almost imperceptibly.

He’s not the biggest fan of ice cream in all honesty, but, he guesses he can make an exception every now and then, especially if it’s just miso ice cream. 

The worker smiles and welcomes them politely as they approach the counter, and Komaeda utters a polite greeting in return before standing besides Hinata. They stare down at the selection of flavors, and Hinata presses his hands against the glass like a child.

“There are so many flavors…” Hinata murmurs in awe, and Komaeda chuckles softly. It’s as if Hinata’s never been to an ice cream shop before, what with his shining eyes and palpable excitement. “What should I get?”

“Hmmm,” Komaeda looks over the flavors, pursing his lips. “I think…you should get the chocolate orange.”

Hinata barely even wastes a second before nodding his assent, seeming to be excited to try any flavor. “Chocolate orange it is.”

The worker reaches down into the tubs of ice cream to scoop their desired flavors for them, getting Komaeda his miso ice cream and Hinata his chocolate orange in cones, and Komaeda never really took Hinata to be the type to be this excited to try ice cream, but watching his reaction and the way he bounces slightly on his heels is all worth it.

Hinata adds quite an abundance of toppings to his ice cream, and Komaeda passes on it before they approach the cash register to pay for their selective treats. The total of the ice cream turns out to be more than Komaeda had expected, and he watches as Hinata’s face drops slightly at the price, before he nonetheless reaches into his wallet to pay.

The gears in Komaeda’s head turn before he hastily whips his own card out instead and hands it to the cashier, just in time for Hinata to see.

“H-Hey! Are you-”

“Yes, that’s for both of us. I’m paying for both of us.” He tells the cashier, and the cashier nods, glancing down at the digital pad and processing the order for them. He can feel Hinata’s eyes on him as the cashier gives him back his card with a small smile, and bids them a good rest of their day. 

As they walk away from the counter with their cones in hand, Hinata splutters, “W-What are you? My boyfriend? You didn't need to pay for me.”

The words nearly make Komaeda jump out of his own skin, but he covers it up with a small cough and then immediately a laugh, although it comes off awfully nervous. “Ahaha, no, but I’m your friend, and I want to treat you.”

Hinata huffs as they slide into an empty booth, and Komaeda is hit with the notion that he’s possibly offended Hinata by paying for him and assuming Hinata couldn’t afford it, but just as the anxiety begins to sink in, he hears Hinata say,

“T-Thanks, Komaeda.” His voice is quiet and almost shy, and Komaeda instantly brightens up at the sound of it. Not like he doesn’t always brighten up at the sound of Hinata’s voice, but…

“Of course, it’s nothing.” He smiles softly. As they begin digging into their treats, lapsing into comfortable silence, his mind suddenly wanders back to the conversation they’d shared back at the department store.

 Hinata had quite literally turned his nose up at the sight of the message he’d received…Komaeda wonders what the contents of the message actually were.

At one point, Hinata whips out his phone, probably to check the time or some missed messages before he meets Komaeda’s eye and apologizes quickly, returning the phone back into his bag.

“It’s okay,” Komaeda shakes his head, giving Hinata a comforting smile before quickly using the broken silence to his advantage and gathering up his courage to ask, “So, uh, I wanted to ask before but…what exactly did the text say? From Taketa-san…?”

Hinata winces. “Oh, right…” He sighs deeply, sucking loudly on his ice cream (Komaeda would be lying if he said Hinata’s table manners are anywhere near courteous…it isn’t attractive, but it is certainly endearing on a scale) before saying exasperatedly, “She was just texting me about how she’s going to change groups and stuff, because seeing my face…’pains her too much’, or something?”

“Aha, oh my.” Komaeda can’t help but chuckle quietly to himself. “She must’ve really liked you.”

“I guess? We literally only talk like…twice a week though. It’s so weird, Komaeda.”

“Well, it’s not too weird.” Komaeda shrugs, looking back up at Hinata and not realizing the words that come out of his mouth when he says, “It’s just because you don’t realize how naturally calming and attractive you - ah, you may be, to other people, in the Reserve Course, that you speak with.”

Oh god, how has Hinata not caught on yet. Komaeda is obvious to the point where it’s painful.

Hinata gives Komaeda a look, and Komaeda almost imperceptibly shrinks in his seat in shame and regret before Hinata lets out a snort, his cheeks the slightest shade of pink.

“You’ve been flattering me too much. It’s starting to get weird and honestly, out of character.”

Komaeda laughs nervously in response, flashing Hinata a playful smile to hopefully cover up his embarrassing slip-up from before. “You are ridiculous,” 

He hears Hinata chuckle, shaking his head and taking a bite out of his cone, already half-way done with his ice cream. Komaeda looks down at his own ice cream, which is nowhere near done, before glancing out the window at the lowering sun and the hint of stars in the sky. 

He hums. “It’s getting late. Let’s start walking back?”

Hinata checks the time on his phone, before nodding in agreement and saying, “Yeah, let’s go.”

They slip out of the booth, and Hinata thanks the worker behind the counter one last time before they leave the ice cream shop and begin on the path back to Hope’s Peak.

Komaeda savors his treat slowly, enjoying the shared silence between the two and looking straight ahead into the milky orange colors of the horizon - he’s never quite felt so at peace before.

Especially with Hinata walking next to him. He’s almost positive that Hinata has some kind of special ability, or superpower, that enables him to radiate this near addictive aura of…serenity about him. It’s very nice to be around. 

“You’re very calming, Hinata-kun.”

“W-What?” Hinata chokes, clearly not having expected him to say something like that and Komaeda freezes in place, feeling his cheeks begin to warm up once again. How many times is he going to mess up like this?!

“Ah, did I say that out loud…?” He mutters softly, looking away as Hinata stops walking to wait for Komaeda. Anxiety takes hold of his heart. “Feel free to ignore me.”

“No, no, elaborate, please.”

Komaeda lets out a quiet sigh, his pulse beginning to beat slightly faster as he tips his gaze up to meet that luminous gaze, which stares back at him in question and…something else Komaeda can’t quite identify.

“Your presence is very…it’s calming, Hinata-kun. I feel really safe - ah, at peace with you.”

“...Oh.”

He watches as Hinata breaks their eye contact, shyly looking down at his feet, and Komaeda can’t help but shrivel in disappointment - he’d been hoping Hinata would say something more than just…”oh.” How is he supposed to know if he did, or said the right thing now?

…Except that he should already know, because he definitely did not do anything right just now. What was he thinking?

No normal person just…says these things about their friend out of the blue, and to their face, he’s sure of it. 

Thinking the conversation had ended, he sighs regretfully, and begins to move his feet again before he feels Hinata’s hand on his sleeve, stopping him.

“I do too,” Hinata says, his voice so soft Komaeda thinks he sees colors burst behind his vision. Komaeda stares at Hinata in an expression that can only be described as sickeningly lovestruck, his cheeks beginning to grow a darker shade of pink and his lips parting. He suddenly becomes very aware of their proximity. 

They’re standing close.

Really close.

Komaeda feels his eyes beginning to trail down Hinata’s face, to his lips, and everything in his body is screaming at him to stop stop stop stop stop-

Hinata doesn’t want this he would never want this he would never want you just stop before you do something you’ll regret-

Komaeda swallows, and he forces his vision away from Hinata’s lips to the dark green bag Hinata had just bought, suddenly deciding something. 

“Your bag.”

“Huh?” Hinata blinks, and something in Komaeda’s stomach flutters at the fact that Hinata had been equally as absorbed in the moment as he had. 

“Can I see it?”

“Oh - s-sure.” Hinata lets go of Komaeda’s sleeve, and Komaeda steps back, his heart furiously pounding in his chest. Komaeda hadn’t been aware that feeling both relieved and disappointed at the same time was possible. “The new one, or-”

“Yes, whichever one.” 

Hinata slips the new bag off his right shoulder, handing it over to Komaeda and Komaeda takes it by the strap. 

As he holds Hinata’s bag in one hand, he rummages through his own book bag in the other for something hidden among his books and folders, trying to fish out the poem he’d made only a few days ago.

He’d made it for Hinata - of course he did -  and something inexplicable in him is screaming for him to give it to Hinata now. There’s no better time.

It’s not exactly a love letter, per say, but it’s pretty damn close to one, and Komaeda doesn’t think he can contain these feelings for much longer.

Hinata tilts his head to the side, asking skeptically, “Whaaat are you doing, Komaeda?”

“I’m putting something in here for you.” Komaeda tells him, hastily searching inside his bag for the piece of notebook paper he’d written it on.

“I want you to read it when you get back home.”

“Oh. Okay, what kind of-“

But Hinata never gets the chance to finish his sentence before the events that occur next happen in a blur. Because one moment, Komaeda is staring down at his book bag and aimlessly poking around inside of it, and the next his whole body is being shoved to the ground.

His head collides with the cement, and the air is quite literally knocked from his lungs when he feels something in his other hand being torn from him, his grip instantly falling apart as it’s swiped away. He only manages to catch Hinata’s raised, panicked voice before he loses consciousness and everything goes black. 

Chapter Text

“…-maeda? Komaeda? Hey! Are you okay?”

Komaeda blinks slowly, the sight of Hinata standing over him slowly bleeding into his vision and for a moment, he thinks Hinata’s an angel that’s come to finally end his sixteen years of misery.

That is, until he realizes that he’s not dead, and he’s not in that much pain at all, and he’s also lying in the middle of the sidewalk.

He tries to speak, but the only thing that’s capable of leaving his lips is an unintelligible, “Uuunn,” and he sees Hinata’s face split into a smile of relief.

“Oh thank god,” Hinata kneels down beside him on the sidewalk to help him sit up, gently cradling the back of his neck and if Komaeda were fully conscious, he’d be doing backflips right now. 

Komaeda’s head flares in pain, groaning in protest as his head is lifted off the sidewalk and he’s sat upright. Hinata’s steadying him by the shoulder, his eyebrows furrowed in concern as Komaeda resituates himself, wincing as his head pounds violently.

“H-Hinata-kun?”

“Yeah?” Hinata leans down to meet his line of vision, seemingly trying to inspect his pupils. “How are you feeling?”

“Aha…I could definitely be better,” He says honestly, before meeting Hinata’s hazel eyes, and melting slightly at the sight of it. “How long have I been out? W-What happened?”

Hinata’s face drops, and he sighs deeply, resting his hand on his knee. Komaeda has a feeling this isn’t going to be good. “I think it’s been like…three minutes? And, well while we were distracted, some guy came running down the sidewalk and fucking took the bag from you.” He shakes his head incredulously and Komaeda feels something in him wither. “He stole the bag, Komaeda! Like - like in the fucking movies! That’s never happened to me before!

“I mean, I guess it’s a good thing, that it wasn’t your school bag or mine, because then all our stuff inside of it would’ve been stolen, but - I mean - Jesus, I just bought that one!” Hinata rambles, but Komaeda’s not really even listening over the guilt beginning to take hold of his entire body.

“Hinata-kun, I…” He can’t even find the words to say, but not because of the insistent pounding in his head, and not because he’s in total shock like Hinata, but because he knows exactly why this happened. 

Without warning, he feels his lungs begin to close up as something lodges itself in his throat. “I’m sorry.” 

“What?” Hinata looks up at him, frowning. “Why are you sorry? We were…literally robbed.”

“This is - this is all my fault, Hinata-kun.” Tears begin welling up in his vision, and god damnit he needs to stop crying. “If I hadn’t taken your new bag, that man wouldn’t have even been walking near this area.”

“What…are you talking about?”

“Don’t you understand?” He snaps suddenly, and Hinata widens his eyes. “It’s - it’s me. It’s my luck, it’s because of my luck and if I hadn’t - if I didn’t -”

He sucks in a breath and lets out a near silent sob, burying his head in his knees. “I - I’m so sorry, Hinata-kun. We went out to get you the perfect bag, and then I get it stolen from you not even an hour after you’ve bought it. I’m so sorry.” 

Hinata is silent for a time, probably watching Komaeda wallow in his own misery and Komaeda wouldn’t be the slightest bit offended if Hinata decided he wanted to leave him like this. He’s being pathetic, and he’s reacting erratically, he knows, but he’s never felt so awful about himself before - if he hangs around Hinata more, who knows what else could happen to him? The thought makes him shiver. 

He feels a hand on his shoulder, and he can’t help but flinch. “Komaeda? Komaeda.”

Komaeda hears the silent request in Hinata’s voice, and he huffs through his nose, lifting his head slowly and meeting Hinata’s eyes hesitantly. 

He looks concerned, and his eyebrows are downturned but then. The moment their eyes meet, he smiles. “It’s okay. Seriously, it’s fine.” He’s talking in that voice again - the voice that’s kinder, gentler than anything Komaeda’s ever known and Komaeda’s heart squeezes in his chest.

“It was just a bag. We’ll just…go out another time, and get another one.”

Komaeda can’t believe this. Hinata’s the one that’d gotten robbed and here he is, comforting Komaeda, who’s sitting curled up in the middle of the sidewalk. He really doesn’t deserve Hinata.

“Do you really want to go with me again?” He asks, his voice coming out quiet and Hinata rolls his eyes, smiling slightly.

“Yeah. I do.” Hinata takes his hand, and Komaeda’s skin warms at the touch, before he’s standing up and taking Komaeda with him, slowly helping him up.

Komaeda can’t even find it in him to insist otherwise and advise Hinata against spending any more time with him like he normally would, so he only sighs softly, letting himself get lifted off the sidewalk. 

Hinata looks over Komaeda and absently dusts his clothes off for him, making Komaeda feel even dizzier than he actually is before saying in a voice much lighter than before,

“Now let’s go back, and check for a concussion, okay? And also watch,” He gestures behind and in front of them, giving Komaeda a playfully knowing look. “For robbers.”

Komaeda lets out a small laugh, the guilt weighing heavy on his heart finally feeling a little less suffocating as he smiles warmly at Hinata and nods.

They walk back home together, their hands brushing the entire time. 

    Komaeda scrolls through his phone as he leaves his last class of the day, making his way down the hallways and not paying any mind to the bustling bodies of students around him.

Since that Friday afternoon, he’s been trying to find an acceptable, replacement bag for Hinata to make up for what happened. Hinata had insisted they would just go together next week to find another one, but Komaeda would feel better if he just ordered one before anything else could go wrong.

And anyways, it would be a nice surprise, and he’s sure this would be preferred over an entire afternoon with Komaeda again.

He thinks he’s found a good one after having the entire weekend to decide - it’s black, and looks just like his current one minus the rips and patches and Komaeda thinks if he decorates it with a few charms and pins, it’ll be perfect for Hinata.

He adds it to his cart, humming in contentment before a slight pang in the back of his head makes him wince, and he quickly pockets his phone.

Tsumiki had advised him against too much screen time - she’d diagnosed him with a minor concussion last Friday and he wasn’t at all surprised - the thief had pushed him to the ground hard enough for him to lose consciousness. It was unfortunate, yes, but it’s nothing he can’t handle. 

Komaeda takes his sunglasses out as he leaves the Main Building, slipping them on the moment he’s outside. He’s supposed to meet up with Hinata again after school and although he wanted to spend some time away from Hinata after what happened, he can’t really say no to Hinata. And plus…it’s time with Hinata - he’d be insane to turn him down.

He recalls the text he’d received - Hinata had wanted to meet in front of the fountain, if he’s remembering correctly. As he starts towards the path to the fountain, he tries to focus on his balance - he’s been a little unsteady the entire day and it’s been very life-threatening for him, considering what he goes through on a normal day but he’s miraculously been able to avoid danger. 

When he finally reaches the fountain, having successfully kept his balance the entire time, he hears Hinata before he can see him. Ah, it sounds like he’s talking with someone…

Komaeda raises an eyebrow, and inches forward to look for Hinata and who he might be conversing with and when he spots him, he feels his heart drop.

He’s sitting on the fountain with Nanami, their shoulders pressed together and their attention drawn to her Game Boy. Hinata’s tan, freckled face is lit up with joy and a beautiful flush as he laughs, pointing at something on her screen and she giggles, a similar pink tint spreading across her own cheeks. Hinata leans in closer and tells her something that makes her smile, and she nods happily in excitement and they look so happy Komaeda thinks he could just die.

His hand tightens on the strap of his bag, and his headache returns at full force. He’s definitely seeing red. No, green, because they’re practically leaning against each other and Hinata is laughing at something she’s just murmured in his ear and Komaeda feels insane for feeling like he should be the only one to witness Hinata smile and laugh like that.

He wants Hinata to be happy, and he knows Hinata could never be that happy with him, but nonetheless.

He sucks in a deep breath, jealous emotions overtaking every thought in his head and he wonders why Hinata even bothered to invite him out here if he was just going to hang out with somebody else. Had he wanted Komaeda to see this? Or had he simply just forgotten?

Komaeda wouldn’t really mind hanging out with Nanami alongside Hinata, but knowing how obviously she liked him, and how obviously he probably likes her BACK, he isn’t sure he’d be able to take it for long.

It’s already enough with their classmates constantly teasing Nanami about her relationship with Hinata, crooning about her crush on him as she blushes and stumbles over her words, telling them “it wasn’t like that” when it was definitely fucking like that. 

Half of their classmates don’t even know Komaeda and Hinata are friends, and a small part of Komaeda wishes they did so he’d be able to tell them Hinata is also someone…meaningful to him, but in all honesty? It’s probably better this way.

Komaeda takes another deep, shaky breath, and takes one last look at Hinata and Nanami, before turning away, leaving the two behind. 

Komaeda lies in bed that night, hugging his pillow and dwelling on what happened earlier. Hinata didn’t even try to text him back. Or maybe, Hinata was upset because he had the inference that the three of them were supposed to meet up and hang out together, and Komaeda just…never showed up? 

Either way, Komaeda can’t really find it in him to care whether Hinata is mad at him or not. He’s fucking annoyed, and there’s nothing that can really suppress the feeling now, especially when he knows how his…jealousy gets.

He wouldn’t have a problem hanging out with Nanami, of course not, but the fact that he’d come at a time where they’d been so close together…and Hinata had seemingly forgotten that he was supposed to be waiting for Komaeda…and they were so goddamn close -

Komaeda groans loudly, burying his face in his pillow. He’s being ridiculous, and jealous, and possessive, and downright weird but he can’t help it. He’s practically head over heels for Hinata and seeing him with somebody else like that for the first time hurts more than he ever would’ve imagined.

Then suddenly, he feels his phone vibrate. He frowns, and picks up his phone from its place beside his pillow, his heart leaping out of his body when he sees the name belonging to the notification on his lockscreen.

Hinata: komaeda? hey can we talk

He stares at his screen in frozen incredulity for what has to be an entire minute, before opening the message with shaky fingers.

Komaeda: What is it?

Hinata: uh actually can we call

Komaeda: Why?

Hinata: pls i need to talk to u

Komaeda sighs, Hinata’s words pulling at just the right strings of his heart, before he replies with a dry text of, “ok,” and puts Hinata on speed dial, waiting for Hinata to pick up.

“Hello?”

“Hi.”

“Hey,” Hinata sounds tinny through the speaker of Komaeda’s phone, yet Komaeda can still hear the worry in his voice when he quickly says, “Listen I - I’m so sorry, I completely forgot that I invited you out this afternoon, I just - I was waiting for you and then Nanami-san came and we got distracted.”

Komaeda shifts in bed, breathing in deep and struggling to hold back his sudden, returning feelings of jealousy. We got distracted.

“It’s fine.”

“...Is it really?”

“Yes.”

Hinata sighs. “No, it’s not. You’re mad at me.”

Komaeda doesn’t reply, opting to stay silent and wait for Hinata to say something else. He focuses his gaze on the clock on his dorm wall.

“…I’m sorry, Komaeda. I really am.” Hinata apologizes after a few tense seconds of silence, his voice gentle, and Komaeda can’t help but melt at the tone.

“I’ll make it up to you, okay? I’m just - I’m an idiot, and I shouldn’t have left you like that. I’m so sorry.”

Then, in an even quieter voice - “I don’t - I don’t want you to be mad at me.”

And really, who is Komaeda to stay upset with Hinata over something so minuscule when he sounds like that?

He takes a few breaths in, debating on whether or not he should let this go or not but ultimately decides that it’s not worth it. His friendship with Hinata means more to him than this, even though a small part of him is definitely still jealous and unhappy. 

But nonetheless, he smiles to himself, and finds himself whispering into the phone, “Okay. It’s okay, Hinata-kun.”

“R-Really?” Hinata’s relief is apparent, even through the phone, and Komaeda chuckles quietly.

“Yes.” He nods, despite Hinata being unable to even see him right now, before pausing to add, “Just, please at least tell me next time you want to hang out with somebody else. I won’t be mad, I promise.” 

“But, but that’s the thing,” Hinata mutters, sounding almost conflicted. “I didn't want to hang out with someone else, I just…got distracted.”

Komaeda lets out a brief, disbelieving laugh. “Well, I think it’s clear that you didn’t want to spend time with me as much as you wanted to with…"

Komaeda takes back the name on his tongue, cursing himself for speaking too much yet again. Now it’s going to be evident to Hinata that he’s jealous as hell, and that’s definitely not a normal thing between friends. Well, it could be, but he’s not sure how Hinata would interpret it - either way, he should’ve stopped while he was ahead. 

“…Whatever you’re thinking, don’t.” Hinata chides softly, after a few silent seconds of deciding Komaeda most likely isn’t ever going to finish his sentence.

“You’re my friend, and I wanted to hang out with you. I always do, Komaeda.” He clears his throat, before saying with more confidence and certainty, “And that’s exactly what we’re going to do later this week, okay? I swear. It’ll be just me and you.”

Komaeda’s eyes widen. The grip he has on his phone slackens, and he feels every cell in his body jump and scream at Hinata’s words, and suddenly the room is very, very warm. He struggles to contain his happy emotions, a wide, indignant smile beginning to break across his face. 

“O-Okay.”

“…Okay.” Hinata says softly in response, and Komaeda thinks he can hear the smile in his voice and he’s so adorable Komaeda could cry. He hears Hinata clear his throat for the second time again, before stammering out, “Okay, yeah, good night, Komaeda. Sleep well.”

And then he hangs up.

Komaeda waits at least a good five minutes before he slips his phone back under his pillow, and flops down from his side onto his back, staring wide eyed at the ceiling with a deep blush on his cheeks. 

That’s it, a voice in his head decides.

You can't run from these feelings forever. You can’t keep pretending like you want to be friends. He has to know. 

He has to know.

Komaeda sits up straight in bed, before kicking the covers off his legs and staggering towards his desk in the corner of his dorm. When he reaches it, he flicks the lamp on, a faint yellow washing over the darkness of his room and spilling over the floors.

It’s late, and he’s definitely staying up past his bedtime at this point but his mind is reeling and he can’t sit still after that conversation.

He finds a piece of blank, white paper in one of the drawers connected to his desk, along with a green gel pen, before beginning to draft a letter.

If anyone were to see Komaeda with his nose buried in the history textbook he has in his lap, and the notes strewn about the floor near him, they’d think he was the most attentive, sedulous student when in fact, it is not the Japanese Industrial Revolution that has his attention this piqued.

It’s the letter he started nearly an entire week ago, hiding inside his textbook. Though, the Meiji era really is a fascinating time period, he really has no time to study for his test when he still hasn’t even found the right words to tell Hinata how he feels. And one very clearly takes priority over the other.

He groans, scribbling out what has to be his seventh “beginning sentence” and deciding he’d just have to scrap this one again. He’s lost count of how many letters he’s thrown out, and maybe that’s for the better…he wouldn’t want to know how many times he’s failed to describe his feelings for Hinata. Especially when they’re so strong - why is it so hard now that he’s trying to finally put them on paper?

He reads over some of his scribbled writing, and frowns, trying to start over again on the same paper when suddenly, he hears the main doors swing open in the dead silence of the library and he flinches hard.  

Komaeda brings his gaze over to whatever idiot had thought to make such an unnecessarily loud entrance in, and nearly chokes on his own spit when he sees it’s Hinata.

Said idiot seems to have spotted him right away, and begins strolling towards where he’s sitting against the shelf. Komaeda panics for a good two seconds, looking around and searching for an escape before frantically shoving the letter and the other notes surrounding him deeper inside the textbook he’d been writing on.

He shuts the textbook closed with a loud clap, crinkling the papers up in the process.

When he glances back up, he’s met with the sight of a very distraught looking Hinata.

“Komaeda,” Hinata whines, before collapsing against the shelf, right next to Komaeda and burying his head in his knees, arms wrapping around them. The new book bag Komaeda had just given him only a few days back falls beside him in a heap.

Komaeda blinks, and opens his mouth to ask if he’s okay but he stops himself before he can say anything. He doesn’t want to be so…stiff. Perhaps he’ll opt to be a little light-hearted instead.

“Hinata-kun?” He whispers, a smile on his face. “Did someone say something about your bad haircut again?”

“Pff,” Hinata snorts, turning his head to look at Komaeda and resting his cheek on his arms. Komaeda's heart skips a beat at the sight of Hinata’s squished cheeks - it’s just too adorable.

“No, thank god.” He mutters, before frowning and saying, “I don't really like the way you said that though. As if it’s a fact. There’s nothing wrong with my hair!”

Komaeda laughs, and scoots closer to Hinata. “Well if it wasn’t that, then what happened?”

“Someone else…” Hinata groans, as if saying the next words will physically pain him to. “Confessed to me again…”

What?!

Another person?

Komaeda fails to hide his look of utter shock, and Hinata manages to crack a small smile at his expression, despite how worn down and exhausted he looks. Acutely aware of how his jaw has gone slack, he quickly clamps his mouth shut and looks down to his hands, wringing them together anxiously. 

Really...when and how did Hinata get so popular…? It's truly no surprise, because Hinata is Hinata, but three people in a span of just two months? That's incredible. And slightly…concerning. 

Komaeda has fierce competition. But then again, who is he even trying to fool? He's not even competing - he doesn’t even stand a chance…

“R-Really?” He says, and it comes out more choked than he’d expected so he clears his throat pointedly before asking, “Who now?”

“Some…guy.”

…Wait.

A GUY?!

“…A boy…confessed to you…?” Komaeda breathes, his heart picking up at the sudden possibility of a world-breaking revelation. Well, perhaps world-breaking is an exaggeration…but at the same time it’s really not.

“Yeah. It was…super unexpected.” Hinata said quietly, scratching his chin. “Like, even more so than the other two. For obvious reasons.”

“Aha, ha,” Komaeda is panicking. Admittedly, he’s never felt like this before and the feeling is fucking gripping - his heart feels like it’s going to burst with the sheer possibility that this entire thing - his stupid, hopeless crush on Hinata is going to mean nothing in the long run. That Hinata is as straight as a god damn toothpick. 

It would be just his luck. 

“W-Why - I mean - you - you rejected him, didn’t you?” He stammers, and Hinata seems to pick up on Komaeda’s very apparent erraticness, because he raises a questioning eyebrow.

But he doesn’t question it further, only smiling half-heartedly and saying, “If I didn’t reject him, I think I’d be a lot happier right now,”

“Y-Yes,” Komaeda nods, half aware that he’s acting a little more than just weird right now, but he can’t really focus on anything else but the fact that Hinata might definitely be straight. “That’s true.”

“Komaeda, are you okay-“

“Why did you reject him?” He asks suddenly, looking to Hinata urgently and Hinata frowns, not quite understanding where Komaeda is going with this.

Komaeda swallows. “Is it because you’re not-“

He stops mid-sentence, and instead gestures mildly, giving Hinata a knowing look and praying that Hinata will understand what he’s trying to ask him.

He’s too ashamed to say it out loud, but he’s afraid Hinata will misunderstand, or just not know what he’s trying to ask completely.

But thankfully, he sees Hinata’s eyes click with realization, and he looks down to his lap. 

“What? Oh, no, I mean.” He shrugs. “Maybe. No, well, I don’t know, it’s kinda complicated and I - I don’t really talk about my dating preferences with anyone, but him being a guy didn’t really…”

He trails off, before a barely discernible sigh escapes him and he looks back up to meet Komaeda’s eyes. “It wasn’t why I rejected him, Komaeda.”

Komaeda blinks. “Oh.” 

It takes him a second to process this, and when he does, he tears his gaze away from Hinata’s to stare down at the history textbook cradled in his lap, his heart beginning to slow down, and his breath coming out evenly again. 

So he guesses…there’s hope after all. Hinata could very well be queer like him then. He feels his heart begin to fill with a familiar warmth once more, his pathetic, lovesick hope slowly coming back to him in fragments. “Oh, okay.”

“Yeah…” Hinata laughs nervously, leaning his head against the bookshelf. “I just - didn't like him like that.” 

Komaeda nods, words lost on his tongue as he struggles to find an adequate response but in all fairness, he’s still recovering from the brief moment of unfortunate, gay panic from before.

But Hinata seems to interpret his silence as something else, because he frowns and mutters apologetically, “Sorry. I know I always dump this on you, it just - it gets kind of frustrating and overwhelming.”

“No, it’s - it’s fine.” Komaeda rushedly assures him, looking back up at Hinata and without even thinking, he reaches for Hinata’s hand and takes it within his own. “You can speak to me anytime you’d like, Hinata-kun.”

Hinata widens his eyes, glancing down at their hands in abashment and Komaeda pulls back as if he’d just been contacted with the plague - god, what is he doing?

He rubs the hand that’d been in Hinata’s self-consciously, and shrinks in on himself.

“Thanks…” Hinata murmurs, and Komaeda isn’t even looking at Hinata when he says the next words, words that will plunge the sharpest knife through his heart.

“And another part of why this - everyone confessing to me and stuff - is so weird, I guess, is because I…I already like somebody.”

Komaeda feels his blood run cold, and he freezes. 

The pen he’d been unconsciously clutching in one of his hands goes limp when his heart fucking shatters in his chest, panic beginning to once again grip at him but this time...it’s not quite the volatile panic he’d been feeling before.

It’s dark, and suffocating, and cruel, and…despairing.

“…What?”

“I like someone…” Hinata repeats, and Komaeda doesn’t understand what part of him had been compelled to ask Hinata to repeat those words because the impact hits him all over again - perhaps even worse this time.

Hinata chuckles to himself, scratching the back of his head with a faint blush on his cheeks and the sight does more to make Komaeda’s chest tighten to the point where he thinks his heart is going to stop beating altogether.

“Hah, it’s really embarrassing to finally admit it out loud, but I guess it was about time I tell you about my…dumb crush.”

“I…I see…that’s…” Komaeda can’t even speak. How can he…? He’s never felt this kind of heartbreak before, and he never wants to know it again - it’s so crushing it feels like he’s going to die.

He can’t even look at Hinata, keeping his gaze fixed on the floor when he asks quietly, “Do I know them?”

“Pretty well, yeah.” Hinata says, seemingly aloof, and Komaeda squeezes his eyes shut. His lungs are closing up.

“Ah…”

He takes a moment to compose himself, letting out a shaky sigh and he knows that if he doesn’t get it together soon, Hinata is going to find out and there is no way in the seven hells that he will let that happen.

There is no way.

If he can’t be with Hinata, this is the closest he will ever have and that’s more than he can ask for, as much as it will torture him to see Hinata love someone else.

“I'm - I'm so glad you told me.” He finally says, and he’d wanted his voice to come out strong and confident for Hinata, but it just comes out soft. Shaky.

“Someone has finally captured Hinata-kun’s attention. That’s good.”

He wills a smile on his face, but it comes out more broken than the state of his heart, which lies in shattered pieces in the bottom of his stomach. “I’m really - I’m really happy for you.”

Hinata nods, his blush darkening and he looks down to the ground once more. Komaeda is thankful he isn’t staring at him anymore - otherwise he might’ve seen the way Komaeda’s hands are trembling and his eyes are wavering.

“T-Thanks. I - I guess I'm just waiting for a sign that the person feels the same, before I tell them how I feel.”

With every word that leaves Hinata’s lips, he feels himself plunge deeper and deeper into despair but he forces down the jealousy and the heartburn, attempting to compose himself for Hinata.

He has to be good for Hinata. He has to be, he has to be - he can’t afford to mess this up.

“We’ve been friends for such a long time now, a-and we see each other almost every day so…maybe the feelings are mutual…?” Hinata tells him, and at this point, Komaeda has no doubt he knows who it is. There’s only one person that could match who Hinata is speaking of.

Nanami. 

And if it’s Nanami, then…

“Yes.” Komaeda nods, turning to Hinata with a sudden resolve, his eyes somehow full of both anguish and adamancy. “Hinata-kun, yes, of course they would be mutual.”

“…Do you really think so?”

“Of course.” He says, laughing breathlessly. His hand mindlessly slips into his textbook, and he opens it up, revealing the scrunched up letters on the inside - but at the angle he’s sitting at, Hinata can’t see them. “Of course, Hinata-kun. Anyone would be so. So lucky to have you.”

He runs his hands over the letter, his throat closing up when he crumples it up some more. “You are…the most incredible person I’ve ever met. You’re so hard working, and so strong, and so, so kind, I - I can’t imagine what kind of person wouldn’t like you, Hinata-kun.“

“You’re truly one of the best friends I’ve ever had, and - and probably the best friend they’ve had too. You’re amazing, and I truly think that if you tell them how you feel, they’ll tell you they feel the same, because you’re perfect and you’re so kind and-”

“Komaeda.” Hinata interrupts suddenly, his voice full of concern and Komaeda widens his eyes, looking up at Hinata, half-wondering if he’d said something wrong when Hinata says,

“You’re - You’re crying.” 

Komaeda blinks, and he realizes now that stray, wet tears had been rolling down his cheeks as he’d been talking. 

He laughs deliriously, wiping at them with the back of his hand before clumsily closing his textbook and struggling to his feet as Hinata watches him from his place seated on the ground. 

“I-I’m so sorry, Hinata-kun, please, let’s talk another time, I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I - ah - !” Then suddenly, everything is coming apart in his hands, which had been trembling so hard that he somehow lost grip on it all - his textbook drops to the ground, and the papers hidden inside it go flying everywhere.

The papers land near Hinata, and of course, Hinata is starting to get on his knees to help Komaeda collect the papers and then Komaeda is falling apart at the seams so fast he thinks he gets whiplash.

He can’t help but let out a gasp, dropping to his knees in a blind panic and hastily collecting what he can without looking at them - both because he can’t afford to, and his vision is blurry with tears. All he knows is that he can’t let Hinata see these, he just can’t!

There are spots behind Komaeda’s vision when he sees Hinata shuffle closer towards him, saying, “Hey, hey, it’s okay, Komaeda, you’re fine, I got you. I got you.”

He gathers the stray papers near his feet, and there are so many tears and so many feelings that he can’t even focus on what he’s picking up and where that damn letter had landed. He needs to get it, he needs to get it before Hinata sees it, god, please don’t let Hinata see the letter.

He has at least four papers in his hands right now - all random doodles from class or poems he’d written but from what he can make out, none of them are the letter. 

“Breathe, okay?” Hinata says again, and for the first time ever, the sound of his voice makes Komaeda feel sick. “You’re okay, I…I…”

But then he trails off, never bothering to finish his sentence, and when Komaeda looks up at Hinata in horror, he sees Hinata’s eyes catching on something on the paper he’s holding and his heart sinks to the bottom of his stomach. 

And it’s at that moment that Komaeda realizes that there was no point in trying to hide in the first place - his luck would intervene and somehow ruin it all for him, like it always does.

It's too late. 

Komaeda remembers what he’d drawn on the back of the letter - it was a tiny, pink heart in the center and indeed, in Hinata’s hands is a crumpled, wrinkly paper with a scrawled on heart on the back of it.

His mind is reeling, and he can feel bile in the back of his throat as he watches Hinata’s eyes widen the more and more they trail down the letter - or at least, what’s composed of the letter. It’s a messy concoction of sentences, but he knows for a fact that it will nonetheless reveal his undoubted feelings for Hinata.

Dear Hinata-kun,

I don’t know how to say this, because words will never be able to describe how I feel for you. You are

Dear Hinata-kun, 

I know you don’t feel the same, but that’s okay, because I really like you and everything about you anyways and I know that if I don’t tell you soon, I will never be able to

Dear Hinata-kun,

You are truly the best friend I’ve ever had, and I know this is probably unexpected from me, and you must be so sick of receiving confessions but I need to let you know that you are more to me than just a friend. I want to be with you because I 

Dear Hinata-kun,

When we met, I never expected to like you this much. In fact, I hated you. You were nothing but a Reserve Course student, but in time, I realized that you were in fact…the most extraordinary human being I’ve ever met. You are so perfect and beautiful in every aspect and 

Hinata-kun,

I like you. You make me happy, and I really, really like you, and I don’t know any other way to start this than to just tell you how much I like you. I like you - and I think it goes beyond even that but I really like you, Hinata-kun.

I like you.

Komaeda’s tears fall to the ground, and he lets out a breathless sob, knowing that Hinata will never want anything to do with him again. He releases the papers that’d been scrunched up in his grip - they’re useless now - and he sits back down to where he’d been before he’d tried to leave.

He leans his head against the bookshelf, defeated. He doesn’t know what to do. He’s not sure what he can do but apologize, and hope Hinata will forgive him.

“I’m so sorry,” He says, not daring to look up to see what kind of disgusted expression Hinata is wearing. “I’m sorry, Hinata-kun, please, I - I don’t know what I was thinking, I -”

He sucks in a violent breath, cutting himself off abruptly and becoming vastly aware that he's never let Hinata see him vulnerable before. His shoulders are shaking and his cheeks are flushed pink with embarrassment and misery - he’s never felt so awful before, he’s sure of it.

“You can just ignore it all, just - just don’t be mad at me, please,” He whispers, closing his eyes and letting warm tears trickle down his face. “I don’t want to stop being friends, I don’t want to ruin what we have, and I - I don’t want to lose you, I - “

“Komaeda.” The sound of Hinata’s voice makes Komaeda startle and without thinking, he opens his eyes.

He’s met with the sight of Hinata kneeling in front of him, staring back at Komaeda in gentle surprise. The brunette’s face is all warm lights and colors in the dimness of the library, and his gaze softens upon meeting Komaeda’s ocean greens.

“It was you.” He breathes out, and Komaeda sniffs, wiping more tears from his cheeks. What is he talking about?

“W…What?”

"Before.” Hinata continues, before pausing. His eyes shyly flick down towards the ground and Komaeda is even more confused when he sees the slightest hint of color in those adorably freckled cheeks.

He watches as Hinata’s body shake with a small exhale, and he says, “When I was talking my ‘dumb crush.’ I was talking about you.”

He looks back up at Komaeda, and now, his gaze is steeled with determination and Komaeda feels himself stop breathing. “The person I like is…it’s you.”

At first, he thinks Hinata’s making a cruel joke, and more tears begin flowing down his cheeks as he laughs wryly, hanging his head miserably.

Of course Hinata would never take his feelings seriously - for all he knows, they’re a joke to Hinata. This hurts too much. 

But when Hinata says nothing, doesn’t laugh or jeer at him like Komaeda had completely expected Hinata to, Komaeda frowns, and slowly looks up only to be met with the sight of an anxious, guilty-looking Hinata. 

“Komaeda? Are you…not happy with that?”

And it’s only now that Komaeda feels the world around him begin to blur into nothing but colors, and his breath gets caught in his throat, the possible reality of the situation beginning to sink in.

“Hinata-kun, you’re-” He chokes on his words, and blinks in disbelief.

“You’re not…you’re not joking?”

Hinata chuckles softly, and then he does something otherworldly that makes Komaeda nearly faint - he takes his hand and sweeps a stray piece of white hair away from Komaeda’s face, a small smile on his lips. God knows how long he’s wanted Hinata to do that.

“Does it look like I’m joking?” He asks, his voice so, so soft.

Komaeda’s sure that his heart has never reached rates this high before, because he can hear the beat of his heart like a drum in his ears and he’s getting dizzy. What is happening? What is happening?

Hadn’t he been so sure that Hinata was going to end their friendship only…moments ago? And now…now…

“And this…this isn’t a dream?” He asks meekly, his voice trembling.

“No,” Hinata smiles, sweetly wiping the tears from his cheeks. “I’m pretty sure it’s real.”

He pulls back his hand, his cheeks burning a bright red, and he admits quietly, “I - I’ve liked you for a while now, but I never imagined you could feel the same because, well…” 

He cracks a small smile. “Ultimates seemed more your, uh…preference.”

“No.” Komaeda says much too fast, shaking his head. He’s still processing everything, and he’s still convinced this is a dream, or maybe even a joke, but either way he tells Hinata, “T-They’re not. Because they’re not you.”

He takes a deep breath in. “It’s you. Only you, Hinata-kun.”

Hinata stares at him in awe, his blush beginning to spread to the tips of his ears, and Komaeda can’t believe this is happening.

There’s no way Hinata could ever reciprocate his feelings - for one, Komaeda had convinced himself that Hinata’s been in love with Nanami this entire time and on top of that, Komaeda is positive he’s the most repulsive person Hinata knows. There’s just no way…

But when Hinata scoots his body closer to Komaeda’s, his hazel eyes steeled with a resolve Komaeda couldn’t quite decipher, all thoughts in his head simply dissipate into nothing.

“Komaeda, I…” He starts, before his eyes trail down from Komaeda’s eyes to his lips, and Komaeda freezes. “C-Can I kiss you?” 

Words he never thought he’d hear are suddenly being spoken to him from the lips that he’s so desperately dreamt of feeling on his own, and without another second’s hesitation, he breathes out a short, “Yes,” and then Hinata is suddenly leaning in not even two seconds after he’s said it, and crushing their lips together.

Komaeda’s world explodes in colors when their lips meet, his heart is pounding so fast out of his chest until he’s sure it’s escaped from his own body and his mind numb with nothing but Hinata.

His hands are trembling and pushing into Hinata’s locks of brown hair as Hinata slots their lips gently together, sighing through his nose and Komaeda can feel his breath on the top of his lip.

The kiss is a little awkward - their teeth meet and clack together and it’s uncomfortable and yet - it’s so fucking gentle at the same time Komaeda can’t take it. Hinata’s pushing him into the bookshelf, and Komaeda begins to melt against it as Hinata’s arms suddenly cage him in and he revels in it.

Oh god, this can’t be happening - even if he didn’t know it in the beginning, he’s wished for this the moment he’s met Hinata and now that he has him like this, he can’t even think to believe it’s real. 

But it’s more real than anything Komaeda has felt in his entire life.

When Hinata pulls away from Komaeda with a quiet smack, their foreheads are pressed together and they’re both breathing slightly heavier. Komaeda murmurs listlessly, “Hinata-kun, I - there’s no way I’m not dreaming right now…”

“Wake up then.” He whispers against Komaeda’s lips, and everything feels so surreal Komaeda could actually die.

He forces back a purposeless sob - he doesn’t know why he’s so emotional, especially now that he knows how Hinata truly feels. It still all feels too good to be true. “Hinata-kun, I really -”

“Like me?” Hinata finishes for him, and Komaeda is almost amazed that Hinata had been able to read him so quickly, before he remembers what he must look like - all flushed cheeks and adored eyes, and what had been on the stupid letter he’d written for Hinata. “Yeah. I like you a lot too.”

“Does this mean…? Does this mean we’re together now?”

“...Yeah,” Hinata smiles shyly, staring at Komaeda with a reverence Komaeda is foreign to. “If you want us to be.”

“Of course I do,” Komaeda says, and this time, he’s the one to pull Hinata in for another kiss, bringing him down towards his mouth from the back of his neck and Hinata sighs softly when their lips meet once more.

The kiss is deeper, rougher, and Komaeda just barely processes Hinata shifting into his lap, straddling him and pushing him even harder against the bookshelf. A small, breathless, “yeah,” escapes Hinata when his hands go to Hinata’s waist, and it makes something in Komaeda’s stomach flip - he’s never heard Hinata sound like that before. 

Komaeda’s tongue will occasionally breach Hinata’s mouth in between their press of lips, and Hinata’s the same - but they never go farther than that, and Komaeda is completely okay with that (and anyways, he’s not so sure he can take French right now - he’d probably die from excitement alone).

They kiss, and kiss, and kiss, until they’re forced to part, panting and out of breath and Komaeda knows if they keep this up, he’s going to seriously lose it.

Komaeda feels a laugh bubble out of his throat, the noise delirious and incoherent. “Hehehe…Hajime-kun, my boyfriend…”

“D-Don’t be embarrassing already.” Hinata grumbles, his face a bright red and Komaeda finds the sight more endearing than anything he’s ever seen.

“I’m sorry, I can’t help it.” He giggles, grinning stupidly at Hinata and holding him in his lap lovingly. “You’re my boyfriend…”

“Yeah,” Hinata mutters, smiling softly. “I guess it does have a ring to it, huh? Komaeda’s boyfriend.”

Komaeda lets out yet another indignant giggle, and wraps his arms around Hinata’s body, hugging him tightly. “And I’m Hinata-kun’s boyfriend.”

Hinata squeaks in response, which he tries to cover up by coughing but Komaeda catches it loud and clear - he only laughs again. He feels Hinata shift in his lap, and for a moment he’s afraid Hinata is trying to get away from him but when he realizes he’s just trying to get comfortable, he relaxes. He feels Hinata’s arms slowly coming around his shoulders to gently cradle his head. 

Komaeda sighs, turning his head to press it into Hinata’s shoulder. “Hinata-kun?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m really…really happy.” He whispers, his entire face warm and his heart light with elation. The tears have long since dried on his cheeks. 

He hears Hinata chuckle from somewhere above him, and he suddenly feels the threat of joyful tears when Hinata begins stroking his hair. “Me too. You make me happy too. More than anyone else, Nagito.”

More than anyone else.

Nagito.

Komaeda widens his eyes, releasing his hold on Hinata to lean back and look him properly in the eyes.“Do you mean that?”

“Yeah, of course,” Hinata says without missing a beat.

“…Does ‘anyone else’ include…” Komaeda bites his lip, and suddenly he feels ashamed to admit it out loud - if he says this, his jealousy will be clear as day…but really, there should be nothing stopping him from voicing his thoughts anymore. He knows he needs this for a piece of mind. 

“…Nanami-san, too?” He whispers hesitantly.

Hinata frowns, and he seems put off by Komaeda’s question and Komaeda is stricken with the notion that Hinata is offended with him and he immediately begins panicking, before Hinata’s eyes fill with a sudden understanding and he says,

“Yeah. Her too.” He cups Komaeda’s face in his hands. “She’s one of my closest friends, but how I feel for her…it…it’ll never be like how I feel for you.”

Then he brings their foreheads together, and leaves a tender kiss on Komaeda’s lips. “You're so special to me, Komaeda.”

And when Hinata releases the sides of Komaeda’s face, Komaeda feels a smile split his face in half - he’s so happy he can hardly even believe it. He doesn’t remember a time when someone had said something so kind, so sweet to him…

But then he remembers - there’s a reason for that. There’s a reason why he’s been alone for so long, why he keeps people at an arm’s length, why people avoid him at all costs. His face drops, and his eyes flick away.

“But - you do know the risks of being with me, right?” 

Hinata cocks his head to the side curiously, clearly not understanding what Komaeda means and Komaeda takes a deep breath in, quickly explaining, “My - my luck will certainly come between us in some way or - it’ll find a way to tear us apart, or make you hate me, and I’m not sure if I can - “

“Hey,” Hinata interrupts him, and he stops mid-ramble, flushing as he realizes he’s almost gone off on another tangent. But Hinata doesn’t scold him or chastise him for it - instead, he strokes his cheek and leans in to press a kiss against his skin. 

“Even if it does, I won’t let anything happen to us, I promise. We’ll avoid it.” He swears to him, and Komaeda closes his eyes. He wishes it were that simple - he wishes he could believe Hinata’s words just like that but he knows he can’t. At least, not right now. It would take time but…for Hinata, he would wait for however long he needed to.

“Okay…” He finally says, before opening his eyes, and whispering. “Thank you, Hinata-kun.”

Hinata smiles back at him in return, his eyes carrying a protection Komaeda is yet again, unfamiliar with, but just as he’s about to lean in for another kiss, somebody rounds the corner, shrieks, and suddenly, they’re being kicked out of the library by one of the librarians Komaeda had actually been making friends with.

Well, so much for that, they’re definitely not going to be allowed to return, and so much for the entire trying to avoid his luck cycle thing - it lasted an entire five seconds and from that alone, Komaeda wouldn’t be surprised if Hinata reconsidered his decision.

But as they walk out of the library, hand in hand and cracking up about the way Hinata had been flung off Komaeda’s lap, he thinks that whatever happens to them, whatever will happen to them - everything will be okay so long as they have each other. In all honestly, he’s still in disbelief about the entire thing, because never in a million years did he think he could ever possibly be with the highest object of his attention, and yet…here they are.

And as the crisp, October air bites at his nose and cheeks, and his skin burns pleasantly from Hinata’s hand in his, he thinks back to his letter, and for the first time in his life…he feels grateful for his Ultimate luck.

hi this was hajime and nagito in the library btw…