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“So tell me again why, out of all the things we could be doing at this festival, we are choosing to walk through a corn field?” David asked Stevie, brows furrowed and his arms crossed in front of him.
She was too busy keeping her eyes on the road in order to avoid any bumps to face David directly. They were on their way to the Elm County Harvest Festival. David gave her a real quick no when she first asked him to come with her, but he eventually gave in as he was hoping to meet some new vendors he could add to the Apothecary's holiday product line. Stevie was hoping to play some games, ride on some not-so-safe carnival rides, and eat a variety of foods on a stick. David, of course, was all in for the food consumption. Stevie told him that she wanted to do the corn maze, which he was immediately appalled by.
“David, we talked about this and you said you’d do it.”
“No, I said I’d think about it. I’m not traipsing around some cornfield and getting murdered by God knows who just to satisfy this newfound and concerning sense of adventure that you suddenly have. We are not these kinds of people, Stevie!”
She rolled her eyes at his dramatics. “Okay, it’s called a maze and you know it. It was either this or ax throwing and you chose this because I believe your exact words were ‘there is no way in hell I’m going to stand by any of these carnies while they throw axes.’ Besides, it’ll be fun. It’s like a giant puzzle that’s come to life."
“Mkay, in no way, does that sound fun."
“Well I can enjoy the fall festival while you just whine about everything then.”
After they parked, the two walked around the festival making a plan as to what they wanted to do and see. They walked by the corn maze a couple of times before Stevie had enough and was ready to start.
“Why the fuck did I let you drag me to this in the first place?”
“You said if I gave you the last caramel brownie you’d do anything I wanted at the Fall Festival. And I want to do the corn maze.”
“That shouldn’t count! We were high at the time!” David whined.
“Well, too bad for you because we’re doing this. Besides, the cute guy running the maze has been checking you out every time we walk by.”
David was quiet for a moment. He did notice the cute guy wearing a plaid shirt, mid-range denim, a cowboy hat, and boots. At one point he actually tipped his hat at David when they walked by and it almost caused Stevie to spit her beer out.
“Yeah, I think you may be mistaken. He wasn't checking me out. Besides, I don’t go out with cowboys.”
“David, I think it’s just an outfit for the festival. Like he’s playing a part. I don’t think we have any real cowboys around these parts!” Stevie laughed. They got in line for the corn maze, and inched themselves along as the line moved.
“Fine. The sooner we can get through this, the sooner we can go find something to eat! I think I saw a pretzel stand around here somewhere…”
When they finally reached the front of the line the cowboy was there to greet them with a smile. There was an arch with an Enter Here sign at the top and there was a smattering of smaller signs that were posted along the arch as well. David’s eyes pinged back and forth between the signs before he stared daggers into Stevie who had already been smirking at him. “Look at your face,” she said in a voice that conveyed this is going to be fun. David started to point at each sign as he read it aloud.
“Please Walk- No Running. Well, I don’t do well with running so we’re good there.
Stay on the Path- Don’t Cut Across. Like I would intentionally walk where there is no path and ruin these Neil Barrett’s.
Do Not Pick the Corn- Leave the Harvest to Us! Why the fuck would I pick the corn?” He yelled.
Don’t Panic! Help is Nearby! I don’t like what they’re implying here! Why would I panic?"
“Because you panic about literally everything,” she quipped. David held his finger up.
“Excuse you, I’m talking.”
"No Profanity- There are ears all around! What the fuck does that mean?”
“They’re talking about the ears of corn, dumbass.” David looked at her as if that didn’t clear anything up.
“Did Ted help make these signs, because these are—“ David stopped talking as soon as he saw the cowboy approach them.
“So someone looks excited for today’s maze!” the cowboy said just a little too enthusiastically. Stevie nudged David a little closer to the grinning cowboy.
“Really? What on earth would make you think I am excited for this?” David asked, his hand gesturing in a big circle towards the maze.
“My apologies. Usually when people enter the maze, they’re at least a little excited. I’m Patrick.”
“Stevie. And this is David. He’s just mad that he forgot what he was agreeing to is all. I, however, think this is the best idea I’ve ever had.” She gave David an innocent face and he growled back at her.
“Now, hold on there, David. Don’t you want to give it a try? I’m sure your girlfriend is just teasing you,” Patrick said with a mischievous grin.
“Okay, so first off, Stevie is NOT my girlfriend,” David said defensively as Stevie shook her head back and forth in disgust. “That ship sailed years ago! Thank you very much!” Stevie let out a sound in offense. David snapped his head to Stevie and glared at her. “What? It’s true!”
“Okay, okay, my mistake. So how about I go over the ground rules? I promise you are going to have a lot of fun, and I promise if you happen to get lost and start to panic—“
“Oh. My. Fucking. God! I am not going to panic!” David shouted louder than he meant to.
“I will be here to help you navigate,” Patrick finished.
“Wait a minute. There is a chance we could get lost? Here? In a corn maze?” Stevie asked, sounding shocked. Patrick’s mouth dipped downward at her response but he turned his attention back toward David who now seemed to be in distress.
“What do you mean we could get lost? Will I end up in Narnia if I take a wrong turn or something?” Stevie snorted at David’s dramatic, but not unexpected, rant.
“I mean, it’s a corn maze, David. But I will not let you stay lost. I promise,” he said with conviction.
Patrick handed David what looked like a key fob shaped like an ear of corn. “What the fuck is this?” David asked, holding up the device.
“This is a signal tracker, David. If you run into trouble, or you need me, you just press this button here and I will be able to find you. I’m very good at picking up on signals,” Patrick said, his cheeks and ears flushing red.
“Did you hear that David? Patrick is very good at picking up on signals, and will come for you. I mean, to you, kind of like a knight in shining armor," Stevie smirked.
“Keep your signal close,” Patrick said, his voice suddenly hoarse. “You look like you may need some help, David. A lot of help.” Patrick put his hand in front of his mouth but it did nothing to hide how openly he was grinning.
“Okay, well can I at least have a map?” David asked incredulously.
“Where’s the fun in that, David? Remember I’ll be around if you want me.” Patrick’s face immediately turned crimson. “I mean, if you need my help or whatever.” Patrick started scratching at the back of his neck and looked away.
Stevie had been watching their…flirting? But she was becoming bored of it now so she had to intervene. “Ok, well why don’t we start the maze now, David?" she said in a mock chipper voice.
“Fine,” David clipped.
Stevie and David started walking toward the maze’s entrance when he heard Patrick say, “It was nice to meet you, David.” He awkwardly looked back at Patrick over his shoulder and gave a small wave before tripping over his own feet and stumbling forward slightly.
Stevie was laughing when he looked over at her. “Come on, dumbass.” She gestured for him to follow her with his hand.
“Ok, well this doesn’t seem so bad,” David said as he started walking. He was obviously trying to convince himself of that when three possible paths appeared at the end of the trail they were on.
“Okay, genius. Which way?” Stevie asked.
“How the fuck do I know? Patrick wouldn’t give me a map!" David shrieked.
“Language! Remember all the ears that are around,” Stevie said very seriously. David rolled his eyes in annoyance.
“Do you want to take different paths and find each other in the maze?”
“No. Nope. You’re not leaving me to walk through this maze alone, like some pervert! Let’s just take this one,” David said, gesturing to the middle path.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes! Let’s just get this over with.” He started walking without waiting for her response.
“This is definitely going to be fun,” she said mostly to herself as she started following after him. David was now crossing his arms over his chest and trying to scrape small pieces of hay off the bottom of his shoes.
“You know the bottom of your shoes are meant to actually touch the ground, right? Like, they’re made of rubber so they won’t get ruined.”
“Ok, you don’t know whether my shoes will get ruined and I can’t afford another pair to take that chance.”
“Yea, but you knew we were coming to a corn maze and that it wasn’t a good idea to wear designer shoes.”
“First of all I didn’t know what to expect given my lack of experience with podunk activities. And, secondly all I have are designer shoes, so.”
Stevie rolled her eyes at her ridiculous best friend. “Let’s turn here," she said, pointing to the left. He let Stevie walk a few steps in front of him as if he was anticipating that something would jump out of the hay bales and attack them. Stevie made another right turn without asking for David’s input, which he seemingly didn’t notice. As they walked a little further down the path they realized that they had hit a dead end. David bore into it with his eyes hoping that a secret door might open.
“Okay, well now what, Magellan?” David asked.
“Let’s go in that direction over there,” Stevie said, pointing to another corner of the maze. David started walking, looking around the maze as if it was designed to be personally offensive to him. He wasn’t paying attention to what was in front of him causing him to bump into Stevie. “This is another dead end,” she said and was now growing impatient.
David groaned. “Let’s just go this way instead,” he said pushing past Stevie. “Okay, I think this might be the right way.” He looked behind him but Stevie wasn’t there. “Stevie?” David called out. “Stevie, where are you?” he shouted in a panicky voice. He finally heard her yell back from a distance.
“David? I think I took a wrong turn and now I’m not sure how to get back. Let’s just try getting through the maze and meeting up at the exit.”
“For fuck’s sake, Stevie!”
“Language David!” she said in a chiding voice. She sounded even further away now. David started looking in front of him again, deciding to just plunge forward without Stevie. The path ended and now he had to decide on turning right or left. He began walking toward the left and before long he saw that he had reached another dead end.
“Fuck! How do I get out of this waking nightmare!” he shrieked. Stevie wasn’t responding to his expletive so he assumed that something had, in fact, jumped out and attacked her. “Serves her right,” he muttered. He then remembered the signal fob that Patrick had given him. He quickly reached into his pocket to retrieve it. He examined it trying to find the button Patrick had told him to push, but he couldn’t find it. “How do you work this fucking thing?” He resorted to hitting it against a hay bale hoping that would somehow get it to work. He heard Patrick clearing his voice behind and he spun around to face him. “Well you certainly work fast.”
“Your voice carries so beautifully that I decided to just head over rather than waiting for your signal.” He squinted at the death grip David had on the fob before saying, “Which was probably for the best.” Patrick gave him an upside down smile that seemed impossibly fond for someone he had just met. “So, shall we?” Patrick nodded in the direction David had initially come from.
“Um, sure. I mean, if you’re offering.”
“What happened to Stevie?”
“Oh, she took a wrong turn and got lost in the maze somewhere.”
Patrick crooked an eyebrow at David. “That’s strange seeing as she helped put it together,” Patrick chuckled.
“I’m sorry, she what?” David screeched.
“Yeah, she was a volunteer for the festival. She was assigned to design the corn maze. Didn’t you know?”
“Uh, no I did not. She’s a gremlin and I’m going to kill her.” They were approaching the maze exit and suddenly David was scrambling to prolong talking to Patrick. “So, this is me,” David said, trying to tuck a smile into the corner of his mouth.
Patrick laughed openly at the shift in David’s mood. “Yeah. Yeah, I guess it is.” Patrick shoved his hands into his pockets seemingly shy all of a sudden.
“I’m really glad I decided to volunteer at this corn maze, David.”
“It seems like you’re not the only one,” he quipped, glancing around trying to find Stevie.
“And I’m so glad that you did Patrick because I’d still be lost without you,” Patrick said teasingly.
“Mhm. It’s bold of you to assume that,” David said airily. David suddenly noticed that Patrick was standing very close to him. Closer than before? He saw Patrick’s eyes flicker down to his mouth and then bite at his bottom lip. It was definitely hard to ignore those signals so David slipped a finger into Patrick’s belt loop and tugged on it tentatively. It was the only invitation Patrick needed because he leaned in and now they were kissing. Patrick’s hand was cradling the back of David’s neck and one of them, he’s not sure who, was sighing into the kiss.
The day had started out with a trick, but it had most certainly ended in a treat.